1 00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:05,048 I am so sick of the same stories every night. 2 00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:07,964 I'm taking 'em out of the rotation. 3 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,313 Wait a minute. 4 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,837 You finished cleaning up the kitchen, already? 5 00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:12,925 Well, uh... 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,189 The thing is... 7 00:00:15,189 --> 00:00:18,279 Debra. 8 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:21,108 They makes sponges with the scrubby sides. 9 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,544 Remind me, I'll get you some. 10 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,201 I didn't call her up. She just came over. 11 00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,941 That's very mature, Ray. 12 00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:31,988 Having your mother come over to do your chores for you. 13 00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:35,557 - My mommy loves me. - 'Yeah.' 14 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,080 She probably thinks that's women's work 15 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,168 and I'm just lazy. 16 00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,343 Now I gotta go in there. 17 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,606 No, no, no. Let her do it. 18 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,391 Don't take away her reason to live. 19 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,177 That's supposed to stop me? 20 00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:53,183 Hi, I'm Ray and I live here in Long Island 21 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:56,099 with my wife Debra. 22 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:59,189 My six-year-old daughter and twin two-year-old boys. 23 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,408 Whee. 24 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,583 My parents... 25 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,152 ...live across the street. 26 00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,806 That's right. 27 00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:10,026 And my brother lives with 'em. 28 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,420 Now, not every family would defy gravity for you 29 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,117 but mine would because... 30 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,337 Everybody loves Raymond. 31 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,947 Hey, you didn't... 32 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:26,129 You know, every night for five years... ugh... 33 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,739 "Little Engine that Could" 34 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,828 "Goodnight Moon," "Cat in the Hat." 35 00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:32,266 I am sick of them. 36 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,398 They're not for you. 37 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,574 Right? 38 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,054 What do you want to read the kids 39 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,490 Jackie Collins? 40 00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:43,059 No, I was just thinking, you know 41 00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:44,408 maybe I could do that. 42 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,454 Maybe I could write a children's book. 43 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,499 - Yeah? - Yeah, you think? 44 00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:51,285 Yeah, it's great 45 00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:54,984 if you're looking for somethin' to do. 46 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:58,030 I have things to do, Ray. 47 00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,293 Ow! 48 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:04,559 Just looking for something, you know, creative. 49 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,647 I've got some ideas. 50 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:06,996 I could use my experiences. 51 00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:09,694 I know what kids like. 52 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:12,915 Debra, sweetheart, settle a bet. 53 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:17,006 Is this container microwavable? 54 00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:18,921 No, Frank. 55 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,315 'I told you that wasn't the sauce.' 56 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,230 'You're eating melted plastic.' 57 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:31,107 Wow! Everything is better with cheese on it. 58 00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:32,152 Alright, so what do you think 59 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,414 about this book idea? 60 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,546 Yeah, it's a great idea. 61 00:02:35,546 --> 00:02:36,939 If you need any help, let me know. 62 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,723 Yeah, that's just what I was thinking. 63 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,508 - What? - You could help me. 64 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:41,857 We could write it together. 65 00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,075 - Oh, wait a minute. - What? Come on. 66 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,947 You just said, "If you need any help.." 67 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,383 You didn't let me finish 68 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:50,213 by "help," I meant that when you're done 69 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:54,217 I would read it and tell you it's very good. 70 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,392 Oh, come on. Come on. 71 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:56,567 I want to do this with you. 72 00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:57,873 Wouldn't this be so much fun 73 00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,614 to spend time together like this? 74 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:00,702 No. 75 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,922 Writing is what I do for a living. 76 00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,315 I don't want to spend my free time writing. 77 00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,012 But you love writing. 78 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,318 No. 79 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,061 It's-it's torture. It's excruciating. 80 00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:14,368 Yeah, but lookit, I already have an idea. 81 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,979 I just need you to help me flesh it out, you know? 82 00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:19,286 Because you are such a good writer, Ray. 83 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,852 I respect your talent so much. 84 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,245 Oh, don't even start with that 85 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,465 unless you're willing to back it up with sex. 86 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:30,297 Don't talk about sex. We're here. 87 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:33,256 Ma, Debra's thinking of writing a book. 88 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,737 - A sex book? - No. 89 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,652 No, no, no, no. A children's book. 90 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,610 I was just thinking of trying it. 91 00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,961 Oh, I have a wonderful story for you, Debra. 92 00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:45,790 When Robert was ten, he was in little league. 93 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,227 And before one of his games 94 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,011 I asked if he had to go to the bathroom. 95 00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,142 And he said no. 96 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,319 So it's his turn with the bat 97 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:55,452 and, sure enough, he wets his pants. 98 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:03,939 Aw, isn't that charming? 99 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:07,203 Hey. 100 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:10,467 Is this about me? 101 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,121 Your mother was just telling the story 102 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,123 about how you wet your pants at home plate. 103 00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,038 Ma! 104 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,866 It's for Debra's children's book. 105 00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,084 It's gonna be in a book? 106 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,608 'Oh, no, Marie.' 107 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,436 Marie, please, I don't think I'm gonna use the story. 108 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,699 That's my story. You can't use it. 109 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,004 I have the rights to that story. 110 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,963 Robert, I'm not using the story. 111 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,792 Why not? It's an important story. 112 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:34,448 It has a moral about how kids shouldn't tease other kids 113 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,406 and how you should listen to your mother 114 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,712 and not hold it. 115 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,759 I tell you what. Whatever you do 116 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,152 I'll do the pictures for it. 117 00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,196 Pictures? 118 00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,676 I've dabbled in the visual arts. 119 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,896 I've painted some bullfighters 120 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,290 some nudes. 121 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:55,338 You painted naked ladies off a deck of dirty cards. 122 00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,775 I had to. 123 00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,951 After Robert was born, you stopped posing for me. 124 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:02,127 Frank! 125 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,172 What? 126 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:08,743 Okay, I have to gouge out my eyes. 127 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:12,312 You can't gouge out your mind's eye. 128 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,575 So do you want me to bring over my portfolio? 129 00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:17,360 I'm gonna be concentrating on the story. 130 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,797 Hey, you know, Debra, I got a great story for you. 131 00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:23,192 It's about a tall crime fighter. 132 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,716 Does he live with his parents? 133 00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:27,109 Could. 134 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,546 No, no, no. I have another story for you, dear. 135 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,809 We were on a long car ride 136 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,029 and before we leave, I warn Robert-- 137 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,379 Ma! 138 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,947 Look, mom, dad, everybody, Debra... 139 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,862 She's already got somebody who's gonna help her. 140 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,472 - Me. - Really? 141 00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:45,040 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be fun, it'll be fun. 142 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,737 Okay, so thanks anyway. 143 00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:49,218 Thank you. 144 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,612 Listen, Raymond, if you're gonna use the baseball story 145 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,961 at least put in that I was the one 146 00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,528 who scored the winning run. 147 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,356 Nobody wanted to tag you. 148 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:06,801 Ray, I am so excited. Come on, hurry up. 149 00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,237 We got to fire up the computer. 150 00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:11,371 Yeah, don't hurt yourself. 151 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,763 Okay, it's-- 152 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,112 You're in my chair. 153 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,549 Oh, sorry. 154 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:18,813 Here. You sit, and... here. 155 00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:22,469 This. Okay. 156 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:25,385 This is so great, honey. 157 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,951 Alright. 158 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,346 What are you doing? 159 00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:31,869 Getting ready. Getting ready. 160 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:34,742 I play a little "Galactic Defender" first. 161 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:35,873 What about the story? 162 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,309 In a minute. In a minute. 163 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:40,356 I just gotta save the Planet Krimulac. 164 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:47,972 Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. 165 00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,060 Are you almost ready? 166 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:50,235 Because I have all these ideas. 167 00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,237 One second. One second. One second. 168 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:55,327 Gotcha, you ugly green bastard. 169 00:06:55,327 --> 00:07:00,158 Okay, good. Now here's my idea. 170 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:03,161 - I was thinking-- - Hold it. Hold it. 171 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,728 What is that? 172 00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,469 I like to squeeze this 12 times. 173 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,123 Why? 174 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:14,303 You gotta respect the process. Gets the juices going. 175 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,522 Okay, you got enough juice there? 176 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,654 - 'Yeah.' - Okay. 177 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:20,918 So here's what I was thinking. 178 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,486 Do you remember that time 179 00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:26,837 when Ally wanted to run away from home 180 00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,404 and we let her pack her suitcase 181 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,971 with all her toys and her clothes? 182 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,277 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Yeah? 183 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,671 Then she started talking about each thing 184 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,499 and where she got it, who gave it to her. 185 00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,240 Yes, and by the time she was done packing 186 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,155 she'd forgotten that she wanted to run away from home. 187 00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:43,767 Right, right, because of all the good memories in the stuff. 188 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,595 - Yeah. - Yeah. 189 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:47,162 Yeah, I like that idea. I really do. 190 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,947 - Oh, good! - Okay. 191 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,079 - Where are you going? - Bathroom. 192 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,473 We just got started. 193 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,778 I know, but when a good idea hits 194 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,040 I have to go to the bathroom. 195 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,520 Oh, no, come on. Ray, come on. 196 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,695 We're on a roll here. 197 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,392 Don't break the momentum. Please? 198 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,091 Alright. 199 00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,309 You know, it's not good to hold it. 200 00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,311 'Yeah.' 201 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:07,356 Okay. 202 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,664 So... 203 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,013 I was thinking 204 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,971 we make the main character a bunny. 205 00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:16,408 Oh, a bunny? 206 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,323 Why, what's wrong with a bunny? 207 00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:21,413 Hasn't the bunny thing been done, really? 208 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,111 Well, what did you have in mind? 209 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,069 Nothing. 210 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,767 No, no. Go ahead, tell me. 211 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:29,247 If you got something better, I want to know. 212 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,467 Okay. 213 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:34,731 How about a... dinosaur? 214 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,124 Ooh, a dinosaur? 215 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,692 What? 216 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:41,303 Eh, I don't know. I just think that's a little... 217 00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:42,391 ...trendy. 218 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,568 Well, bunny's hack. 219 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,572 Hack? You're calling me a hack? 220 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:52,270 I'm not calling you a hack. Your bunny's a hack. 221 00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,577 No, no, no, the bunny is classic, Ray. 222 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,971 It's the dinosaur that has been done to death. 223 00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:59,713 Look, look, it doesn't have to be the dinosaur. 224 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,019 I just hate the bunny. 225 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,673 Well, you got nothing, sweetie 226 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:06,023 so it's gonna be a bunny, okay? 227 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,591 Well, take my name off it. 228 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,158 Off of what? We haven't even started yet! 229 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,507 We spent the whole time 230 00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,248 going through your satanic rituals. 231 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,728 Hey, that's how I work. 232 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:17,339 Oh, well, let me know when you're goofing off, okay? 233 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,950 Well, my "goofing off" supports this household. 234 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:23,693 Oh, and what I do doesn't support the household. 235 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,608 I'm just saying I get paid for what I do. 236 00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:26,783 And I'm just dead weight? 237 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,089 No, but you asked me to help 238 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,569 and this is how I help. 239 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,135 Well, you know what, Ray? I don't want your help. 240 00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,137 Good, good, good, good. 241 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,486 'Cause I didn't wanna help in the first place. 242 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:37,838 Okay, good. So everybody's happy. 243 00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:38,969 Good! 244 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,466 - Hi. - Hi. 245 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,122 Sorry I'm late. 246 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,384 Yeah. 247 00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,786 Oh, you're workin' on your thing? 248 00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:16,485 Yes, yes, yes. 249 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,357 I was wonderin' are we still fighting? 250 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,970 What? No, no, no. 251 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:26,582 Good. Good. 252 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,453 I almost bought flowers. 253 00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,659 Whoo! 254 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:09,320 So how was your day? 255 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,321 I can't do this. 256 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,194 It was such stupid idea 257 00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,500 me trying to write a book. 258 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,329 Look, it just takes time, that's all. 259 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,027 Come on. Come on. 260 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,289 Look, there must be something good in here someplace-- 261 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,161 No, no! Give... Not one word! 262 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:27,730 Ugh! I just hate this freakin' bunny! 263 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,776 Come on, you don't hate the bunny. 264 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:30,907 The bunny's good. 265 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,779 Hate him, Ray. Hate him. 266 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,215 I would want to run away, too 267 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:37,914 if I was stuck in a piece of crap like... 268 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,089 ...that! 269 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,529 I don't know how you do it. 270 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,401 I don't know how you do it. 271 00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,751 Every day, writing? 272 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,187 It's hell. It's hell. 273 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:52,712 Well... 274 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,366 ...yeah. 275 00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,807 I try not to bring it home. 276 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,113 Guess you've gotten a little peek there. 277 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:05,681 I mean, it's not all hangin' out at the games 278 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,596 with the guys and the hot dogs 279 00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,598 and the make-your-own sundaes. 280 00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:15,082 Well... 281 00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:16,779 I suck. Goodnight. 282 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,785 You know, it's not easy for anybody. 283 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,744 Come on. I mean, in the beginning... 284 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,224 I remember when I was just a beat writer 285 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:30,488 covering the local high school games. 286 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:31,881 I was obviously pretty talented 287 00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:35,667 but I was just a diamond in the rough, really. 288 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,460 We'll pick up on this tomorrow, alright? 289 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,594 Remind me where I was. 290 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,769 Oh, still the man. 291 00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:39,949 Morning, everybody. 292 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:41,690 - 'Hey.' - Good morning. 293 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:42,734 Hey. 294 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:43,866 What were you doing up so late? 295 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,434 I looked at the clock. It was 4:30. 296 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,870 Ta-da! 297 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,090 What's this? 298 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,135 Oh, my gosh. This is the story. 299 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,924 You did the whole thing. 300 00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,273 I felt bad 'cause you got stuck 301 00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,883 so I rearranged a couple of things. 302 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,843 I ironed out some of the rough spots, that's all. 303 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,889 Look, look. I went with the bunny. 304 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,282 You were right. The bunny's good. 305 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,893 The bunny's classic. Kids love the bunny. 306 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,416 Yeah. 307 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,549 Okay. Thanks. 308 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:17,334 You're welcome. 309 00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:20,903 Alright. I'm gonna grab some sleep. 310 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,165 Enjoy. 311 00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,257 Winky. 312 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:31,479 Oh, he named the bunny Winky. 313 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,051 Hey, hey. Guess who I talked to today. 314 00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,704 Gerry Ashley. 315 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,620 Who's that? That's my publisher friend. 316 00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,405 He's gonna look at the book tomorrow. 317 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,407 Oh, honey, it's not quite done yet. 318 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:49,627 What are ya talkin' about? I finished it. 319 00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,368 Yeah, well, I mean, you know 320 00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:53,370 your version had some good stuff in it 321 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:58,941 but it, uh, it wasn't quite there yet, you know? 322 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,770 - You're rewriting me? - 'No.' 323 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,032 'No.' 324 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,469 It was just minor, you know? 325 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:06,906 Minor tweaks. 326 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:10,822 You made it rhyme. 327 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,129 Yeah. Yeah. Kids love rhymes. 328 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,436 And it came really easy to me. 329 00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,873 "The bunny hopped here. The bunny hopped there. 330 00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,702 The bunny hop-hopped to the top of the square." 331 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,706 What? 332 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,927 Isn't that a little cutesy? 333 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,538 Cutesy? 334 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:33,628 Ah, you're the one that named your bunny "Winky." 335 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:36,979 Hey, I didn't even want the bunny. 336 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,286 I went with the bunny for you, okay? 337 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,896 And as long as I'm stuck with a bunny 338 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:43,246 Winky's a perfect name for a bunny. 339 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,509 It's not better than Clive. 340 00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:46,771 Clive? 341 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,948 Clive? 342 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,168 What, are you from piccadilly? 343 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,344 'Ello. I'm Clive. 344 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,042 I'm 'appy to be alive. 345 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,003 First of all, that is the worst British accent 346 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,396 I have ever heard, alright? 347 00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:05,486 Second of all, stay away from my story. 348 00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,054 I saved your story. You had nothin'. 349 00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,185 I made it into something. 350 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:11,231 - Who asked you? - You did! 351 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:14,103 No, I asked you to do it with me 352 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,366 not for you to do it. 353 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,107 Well, I'll tell you what I'm not doin'. 354 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:21,893 I'm not showing Clive to Gerry Ashley. 355 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,374 Okay, fine just forget about your big-shot publisher friend. 356 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,594 Let's ask Ally which one she likes best. 357 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,030 Fine! Wake her up! 358 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,598 No! We're not gonna wake her up. 359 00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,904 We'll read it to her over the next couple of days. 360 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:35,342 I'll read her Clive, and you can read her Winky. 361 00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,865 Yeah, good. You're on! 362 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,736 - Huh? You man enough? - Yes, I'm man enough. 363 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,174 Good, good. 'Cause Clive's goin' down! 364 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:50,357 And Winky was glad to be home 365 00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:57,320 even though she had never... really... left. 366 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,582 The end. 367 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,897 so how do you like that story? 368 00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:10,507 It was good. 369 00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,856 Yeah? 370 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,773 So between, uh, between that story 371 00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:18,254 and the one that mommy read you last night 372 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:21,997 which one.. did you like... 373 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,129 ...better? 374 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,001 Better? 375 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,873 Yeah, between Clive and Winky? 376 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,832 Winky. 377 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,312 Oh, yeah? 378 00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,661 Why? 379 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,707 Winky was funny. 380 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:37,882 How about that? 381 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:44,367 And you like Winky the best? 382 00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,890 I love you. 383 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:53,681 And.. And you like the name Winky, right? 384 00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,683 Yes. 385 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,163 Oh! 386 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,041 Hey. 387 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,651 Oh, you done already? 388 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:08,783 Yeah. 389 00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,741 Yeah? Well, is there a decision? 390 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,569 Yeah! 391 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,005 Mm-hmm? 392 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:17,835 Well? 393 00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:24,625 She picked yours. 394 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,843 Really? 395 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:31,458 Yeah, Clive. Clive all the way. 396 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:32,633 - No kidding? - Yep. 397 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,330 - She liked mine better. - Yep. 398 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:38,247 Why are you lying to me? 399 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,076 - What? - You're lying to me. 400 00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:43,992 You get that from "yep"? 401 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:46,516 No, I listened outside of Ally's door. 402 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,648 Why would you do that? 403 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:48,997 Because I knew you would lie to me! 404 00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:51,652 Oh, yeah, I lied, but the nice way. 405 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:54,045 I don't need you to protect my feelings, Ray. 406 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,177 Don't you think I can handle it 407 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,483 that I write a children's story 408 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,180 and my own daughter doesn't even like it? 409 00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,487 - No, of course you can. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 410 00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,923 First, you win, then you rob me 411 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:04,273 of the opportunity to lose with dignity! 412 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,102 I think you lost that when you listened at the door. 413 00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,277 Fine, Ray, fine. 414 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,496 You know, I try to do something 415 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:10,975 to make me feel better about myself 416 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:15,023 and I end up making you feel better about yourself. 417 00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:16,372 Thank you. 418 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,245 Look, come on. 419 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,855 You should feel better about yourself. 420 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,900 You came up with the whole idea for the story. 421 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,033 I just.. I found a way to make it work, that's all. 422 00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,991 Yeah, great, so I'm just the idea person. 423 00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:29,080 You're the guy that can make it all happen. 424 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,475 Sometimes-sometimes I'm just the idea person. 425 00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,173 Right? Like with raising the kids. 426 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,696 I think they should eat. 427 00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:38,307 You know how to feed them. 428 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,961 Right? 429 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,789 I think they shouldn't be naked. 430 00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:45,184 You know what to do there too, right? 431 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,751 If it was up to me, they'd be eatin' cereal every day 432 00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:49,362 and wearin' the boxes. 433 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,365 So great. I'm a good mother. 434 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:53,627 I knew that. 435 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:58,066 I just.. I wanted to do something else. 436 00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,502 You did. 437 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,243 Look, you wanted to write a children's book 438 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,288 and you wrote one. 439 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,072 Yeah, the loser one. 440 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,248 No, there's no losing. 441 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,119 There wouldn't be this stupid competition 442 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,252 if you hadn't asked me for help. 443 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,906 You know what ruined it for you? 444 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,387 Me. 445 00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:17,085 - That's true. - Yeah, it is. 446 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,348 You could have done this on your own. 447 00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:22,743 And I think I remember asking you not to include me 448 00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:25,833 five days ago, remember... 449 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,096 ...when you didn't hate me? 450 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,752 Yeah, that's true too. 451 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:34,624 So I guess, if I want to get something accomplished 452 00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:37,714 I should just stay away from you. 453 00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,937 There you go. 454 00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:45,244 Yeah, 'cause, like, what was I thinking 455 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,767 asking you to help me? 456 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,421 That's exactly, uh, right. 457 00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:50,858 Yeah, because I do like my story better. 458 00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,686 You should. It's good. 459 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,993 Yeah, but who cares what you think, right? 460 00:20:55,993 --> 00:20:58,082 And Ally probably only liked your story better 461 00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,910 because it's the last one that she heard. 462 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:05,002 I don't know... I don't know about that. 463 00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:08,092 Come on, I mean you were really selling your version. 464 00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:11,095 You were, like, makin' all the goofy faces, weren't you? 465 00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:13,141 You were outside the door. 466 00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:15,622 And were you hoppin' like a bunny too? 467 00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:18,320 I was... it served the story. 468 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,365 Yeah, yeah. 469 00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:23,934 Ray. 470 00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:28,330 Winky doesn't hop like a... drunk. 471 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,427 'Ello, Clive. 472 00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:44,303 A spot o' ice cream? 473 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,000 You know, that's not an accent, Ray. 474 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,656 That's a speech impediment. 475 00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:51,310 Hey, Raymond. Thought I'd better warn you. 476 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,268 Dad's on his way over with his favorite portrait. 477 00:21:53,268 --> 00:21:54,661 - Oh, no. - Mom? 478 00:21:54,661 --> 00:21:56,358 Hey, everybody. 479 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,534 So you don't think your old man's a painter, huh? 480 00:21:58,534 --> 00:21:59,666 Dad, dad, dad, dad-- 481 00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:01,276 Look at this! 482 00:22:01,276 --> 00:22:04,453 The greatest bullfighter of all time 483 00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:05,889 "El Cordobes." 484 00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:10,111 I found him on the back of a King of Spades. 485 00:22:10,111 --> 00:22:11,765 - That's good. - That's really good, Frank. 486 00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:13,201 - Yeah, nice. - Oh, yeah! 487 00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:14,507 And here's one of your mother.