1 00:00:03,786 --> 00:00:06,571 - Hey. - Hey! Where you been? 2 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:09,531 I got a birthday card for my father. 3 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,534 Well, you got like six cards here. 4 00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:15,102 I'm only getting him a card. So I gotta get him a good one. 5 00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,452 Help me pick one out here. 6 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:20,281 - These are all funny ones. - Yeah. 7 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:23,110 Y-y-you get him a funny card, he laughs at the card. 8 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:27,331 You get him a sentimental one, he laughs at you. 9 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,681 Hey! Here's a knee slapper. 10 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:33,163 It's a guy walking over a hill. Get it? 11 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,296 Over the hill. 12 00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:38,821 He's old, your father. 13 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,823 Look at this one. This one's funny. 14 00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,868 On the front it looks like big breasts. 15 00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:45,393 - Mm-hmm. - Not so fast. 16 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,959 Open it up. 17 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:51,094 The butt of a chimpanzee. 18 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:54,402 My father wins either way. 19 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,057 Well, they're all so good. 20 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,494 Mind you, just pick one. 21 00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,452 You know what? It's gotta be this one. 22 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:04,803 The baby crying with the bowl of spaghetti dumped on his head. 23 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:07,154 That'll be funny to your father? 24 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,243 He laughed when he did it to me. 25 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,511 Hi, I'm ray and I live here in Long Island 26 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:19,514 with my wife, Debra. 27 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:23,648 My six-year-old daughter and twin two-year-old boys. 28 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:28,436 My parents... live across the street. 29 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:31,221 That's right. 30 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,397 And my brother lives with 'em. 31 00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:35,791 Now, not every family would defy gravity for you 32 00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,358 but mine would because... 33 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,751 Everybody loves Raymond. 34 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,318 Hey, you didn't, uh... 35 00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:48,064 - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday! Yay! 36 00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:52,242 Hey! You got me the candles that don't blow out again. 37 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:55,550 Yeah, like you don't love it. 38 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,204 You want to cut the cake, Frank? 39 00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,944 Just a minute. Let me loosen up here. 40 00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:02,470 No, don't unbuckle those. Go put on your elastic pants. 41 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,515 - I don't wanna. - Go, go, go. Come on. 42 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,300 Alright. 43 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,433 My house, my pants, my birthday. 44 00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:15,526 Okay, let's get the presents. 45 00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:17,528 - What're you talking about? - Presents? 46 00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:19,661 You told me we weren't getting him a present. 47 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:22,577 I.. H hates presents. Here, hold this. 48 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,187 Robert, what's going on? 49 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,623 We stopped getting him presents. 50 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:28,974 Well, it is his 65th birthday, Raymond. 51 00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:32,108 You didn't get him a present? 52 00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:35,416 I got him a card. A funny card. 53 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,896 So no present from you? 54 00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,858 Well... the kids made stuff. 55 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:47,471 - But nothing from you? - No. 56 00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:52,694 Dad, you coming down, or what? 57 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,217 Hurry up, knit something. 58 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,479 I'm gonna stay here with the kids 59 00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:56,741 and help them with their presents. 60 00:02:56,741 --> 00:03:00,963 Oh, sure. Attach yourself to them. 61 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:04,009 - You all ready? - Alright. 62 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,316 Ice cream and cake time. 63 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,282 Actually, dad, first we have a little presentation. 64 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,240 - Oh! - Here. 65 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,590 Happy birthday, Frank. 66 00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:24,334 - Is this a gag? - No, no. 67 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:28,033 - Some of us got you presents. - Hey-hey. 68 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,774 Bring 'em on! 69 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,341 Ray, do you want the card? 70 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,735 Yeah, I want to put 20 bucks in it. 71 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:36,825 - Give me 20 bucks. - The envelope's already sealed. 72 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,870 Damn! 73 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,873 Oh, a sweater. 74 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:44,441 Didn't you buy me a sweater once already? 75 00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:46,965 But you didn't wear that one. 76 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:50,273 So why did you buy me another one? 77 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,928 It's a beautiful sweater, Marie. 78 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:55,931 I'm probably allergic to this. 79 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:58,629 See, ma? I don't know why you keep trying. 80 00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,414 You're just gonna have to return it like always. 81 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,633 Uh-uh. Not this year. 82 00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:04,896 It's a final-sale item. 83 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:07,856 No refunds and no exchanges. 84 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:10,293 That's what her parents said when we got married. 85 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:15,951 - I do like the buttons. - Oh, hey. 86 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,301 - Nice buttons. - Okay, ma, cake. 87 00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,477 - How about it? Let's go. - Oh, wait, wait. No, no. 88 00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:22,566 We got more presents. 89 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,699 Dad, I think you're really gonna like what I got you. 90 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,266 - Oh. - Ah, card, card. 91 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:30,400 - There's a card, too. - Okay. 92 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,880 Hey! 93 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:36,232 The little kid with the spaghetti on his head. 94 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:37,842 Look at him. 95 00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:43,413 R-remember when you did that to me? 96 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:46,329 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 97 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,462 - He did it to me. - He can't even reach your head. 98 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:51,291 He did it with cereal. What're you talking about? 99 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:56,600 Stop fighting! He did it to you both. 100 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,909 - What the hell is this? - The remote boat. 101 00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:04,391 - A what? - A remote boat. Look. 102 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:07,568 See? You put your remote controls right here. 103 00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,831 Then you can put your "TV Guide" right here. 104 00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,181 That way you can take it around to any chair. 105 00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:14,836 Uh, maybe I'll go over here, I'll go over there. Right? 106 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:19,144 And... you have a special compartment for your soda. 107 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:24,933 Holy crap! 108 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:28,719 - Oh, that is clever. - Yeah, that's kind of great. 109 00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:32,157 - Why didn't I invent that? - Why? Dad, please. 110 00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:34,290 It takes a team of technicians and designers 111 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:38,947 and skilled craftsmen to produce this... wood box. 112 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:44,779 Well, what'd you get him, big shot? 113 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,042 It doesn't matter. 114 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:49,305 Just because it's my 65th birthday 115 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:54,354 doesn't mean I have to get a gift from everyone. 116 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,139 - Look, I got you something. - Oh? 117 00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,011 Yeah, yeah. 118 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,796 Yeah, it just hasn't gotten here yet. 119 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,537 I see. 120 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:09,064 So, when do you suppose it will... arrive? 121 00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:11,196 Hey, it's not that fruit of the month thing again, is it? 122 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,721 - No, no. - Oh, that was the worst! 123 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,941 - Okay. - They're still coming! 124 00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:19,030 We got grapefruit out the wazoo! 125 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:21,555 You promised. You promised you'd stop them. 126 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,905 You're still in the computer. It's gonna take a couple months. 127 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,515 Dear God! 128 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,869 So, uh... what did you get me 129 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:35,177 and, uh, how come it's not here yet? 130 00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,614 Because I-I special-ordered it. 131 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,442 I ordered the remote boat from a catalog 132 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,184 and it got here on time. 133 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:45,361 I know. I know. I know. This is bull. This is bull. 134 00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,015 You order something for somebody's birthday 135 00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:48,408 it should be here by their birthday. 136 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,974 Tell me about it, this is... 137 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,193 I'm definitely gonna call somebody 138 00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:53,413 'cause this is total bull. 139 00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:03,074 Oh, what the hell am I gonna get my dad now? 140 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,860 He's never liked anything I've ever gotten him. 141 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,905 I thought I developed the perfect system. 142 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:10,995 I get him nothing. 143 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,693 He seemed to like that. 144 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,738 Now I got everybody to go along with it 145 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:18,438 and all of a sudden, he likes the remote boat. 146 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,529 Well, it is his 65th birthday, Ray. 147 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,356 Come on, you're the shopper, help me. 148 00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:27,577 Why don't you take him to a ball game? 149 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:31,320 Mm, no, it's got to be something I ordered. 150 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,713 That much we know. 151 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:35,411 It's late because I ordered it. 152 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,806 Hey, hey, if I got him the universal remote 153 00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:42,505 he wouldn't need the remote boat. 154 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:45,290 Robert. 155 00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:50,208 What about the TV guide and the soda? 156 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,994 Damn! 157 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,517 You know, when I want to get my parents something 158 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,127 I just think about what they like. 159 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,999 W-what does he like? 160 00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:01,045 He likes the number three combo at Wo-Hop's. 161 00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,612 Pork fried rice and egg roll. 162 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:06,094 Okay, so, get him that, just light the egg roll 163 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,923 and tell him it's one of those hilarious trick candles. 164 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,273 He'll love it. Good night. 165 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,368 Hey, you know what I'm thinking? 166 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,413 Hey, what? 167 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,546 When we go to Wo-Hop's, he always takes a table 168 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:27,594 by the tropical fish tank. He likes that. 169 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:30,771 Maybe I'll get him a fish tank. 170 00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,642 Yeah. 171 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,775 You know, that's good. That really is good, Ray. 172 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,820 - Yeah? - Yeah. 173 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,343 Wait, wait, wait. 174 00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:42,609 Would I have had to order an aquarium? 175 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:47,309 Okay, that's important. It has to fit in with my lie. 176 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:51,748 Maybe you special-ordered him a fish. 177 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:55,012 - Special fish. - yeah. 178 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:58,842 - I like that. I like that. - Mm-hmm. Good. 179 00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:01,715 Somebody, some scuba diver in Fiji 180 00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:03,412 is just combing the coral reefs 181 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:07,851 looking for Frank Barone's very special fish. 182 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,244 That's it. That's it. 183 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:12,377 - That's our story. - Good, Ray, okay. 184 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,423 N0ow repeat it back to me. 185 00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,909 Holy crap. 186 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,653 "Holy crap." 187 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:30,570 - It's beautiful, Raymond. - It's huge. 188 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,463 They had smaller tanks, you know, but I thought-- 189 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:57,771 Hey, Ally, look at my fish. 190 00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,642 Wow! 191 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,731 I'm gonna call Lee and Stan. 192 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,951 They should come over and see this. 193 00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:06,649 Hey, dad, you know that civil war special's coming on. 194 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:10,740 - I got the boat. - Who needs TV? 195 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:14,788 We got our own "Discovery" channel right here. 196 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,267 Oh, Ray, he loves it. 197 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:20,358 "Oh, Ray, he loves it." 198 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,752 I liked your gift, too, Robert. 199 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,101 - Oh. - Come on, Robert. 200 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:27,148 It's not a competition here. 201 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,805 - Can we name them? - Yeah. 202 00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:34,721 Let's call these two Lee and Stan 203 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:38,376 and that big one with its mouth open we'll call Marie. 204 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:53,653 Hey, bubeleh. 205 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,698 Hey, ray. Listen, I got to hand it to you. 206 00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:58,222 That aquarium is a huge hit. 207 00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:01,008 - Hmm, yeah? - Oh, everybody loves it. 208 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,619 I mean, your mom can't stop talking about it 209 00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:04,707 and the kids are over there right now 210 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:08,363 trying to pet the fish. 211 00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:10,626 Your dad just sits there and stares at it. 212 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,933 He doesn't even come over here anymore. 213 00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:15,631 - It's a miracle. - Mmh. 214 00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:22,507 Oh, doesn't it feel good to give the perfect gift? 215 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,814 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 216 00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:27,861 - Yeah, but... - But-but what, Ray? 217 00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,689 - There's no but here. - No, don't you see? 218 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,560 I've set a precedent now. 219 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,215 I-I-I got him a-a tropical fish tank. 220 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,304 Now every year, I got to get him something bigger and better. 221 00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:39,263 No, no, no. Nobody says you have to keep topping yourself. 222 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,222 Yes. Yes, you do. 223 00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:44,094 That's the way gifts are. Y-you have to. 224 00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,880 Can't get him an aquarium one year and the next year... 225 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,839 ...isotoners. 226 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:53,147 Your dad loves the gift. Just enjoy the moment. 227 00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:59,153 I've had no training for that. 228 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:02,504 The good news is, you don't have to worry about this for a year. 229 00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,462 Oh, no, you know nothing about worry. 230 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,464 I-it's not that I don't have to worry for a year. 231 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:09,163 It's that I have a year to worry. 232 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:19,129 Oh, this is a nice picture of a fish, Micheal. 233 00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,827 Oh, do you see this, Raymond? 234 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:24,482 Hey, yeah, yeah, that's nice. 235 00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,528 You know, the other night, we ate dinner in here 236 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,791 just so we could watch the fish? 237 00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,706 Hmm, no kidding, huh? 238 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:35,363 Not tonight, though. We're having baked salmon. 239 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:38,714 Yay, that's great. 240 00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:41,238 Alright, Ally, come on, let's go. It's time for dinner. 241 00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:45,199 - Where's Stan? - Oh, uh, I-I-I... 242 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:48,550 I think he's, he's hiding in the treasure chest. 243 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,466 He's too big for the treasure chest. 244 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:54,164 No, I-I-I think he goes in there sometimes 245 00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,819 just to, to get away from the other fish. 246 00:12:56,819 --> 00:13:00,083 He's not in the damn treasure chest. He's dead. 247 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,392 - What? - That's what fish do! 248 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,176 They die! 249 00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:08,700 - Dad, I'll replace him for you. - I don't want him replaced! 250 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:12,139 Do me a favor, Ray! Don't get me any more presents! 251 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:24,238 Okay, one fish dies, but... 252 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,980 ...a lot of 'em lived. 253 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:30,940 Ray, Ally was upset about Stan the fish, too 254 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,813 but she managed to get to sleep. 255 00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,123 Maybe he had some weird bond 256 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:43,605 with that fish, you know? 257 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,476 Like flipper. 258 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:52,440 Alright. 259 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,617 I don't think it was the particular fish, Ray. 260 00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:59,534 I think it was more of a symbolic thing. 261 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,492 You mean, like... 262 00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:05,670 What do you mean? 263 00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:16,594 It's his 65th birthday 264 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:19,902 and then on top of that, Stan dies. 265 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,861 You know, it's bound to bring up the question 266 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,689 of his own mortality. 267 00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:28,868 Okay, but it was Stan the fish. 268 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:36,397 Yes, Ray, that's the symbolic part! 269 00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,665 - I don't think that's it. - Why not? 270 00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,972 My father isn't that deep. 271 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,148 He doesn't make those connections. 272 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:50,237 He thinks the moral of the Adam and Eve story 273 00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,848 is don't eat when you're naked. 274 00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:07,994 No, Ray. 275 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,735 I think that that's definitely it 276 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:14,217 and I think that your father is hiding his feelings. 277 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,523 It's normal. 278 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,481 You know, he's afraid of dying 279 00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:19,570 and then you... 280 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,660 ...give him the gift of death. 281 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,539 - Hi. - Oh, hi, Raymond. 282 00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:34,020 - You want some breakfast? - No, no. 283 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,196 I-I wanna talk to dad. 284 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,501 Hey, where's the TV? 285 00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,808 Your father moved it into the kitchen. 286 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:41,549 - The kitchen? - Yeah. 287 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:44,726 Didn't wanna be in the same room with the fish. 288 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:48,034 You know, you never know when another one of 'em's gonna go... 289 00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:57,913 So he's still upset. 290 00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,872 He should be this upset when I die. 291 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,705 Thanks, ma. That's perfect. 292 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:11,100 A television for the kitchen, that's what I should've got him. 293 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,581 Damn! 294 00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:17,019 - Hey. - Huh? 295 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,803 Dad, can you turn off the television for a second? 296 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:22,938 - I wanna talk to you. - I can hear ya. 297 00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:24,679 Please? 298 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,080 Okay. 299 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,820 Uh, see... the aquarium-- 300 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,649 - I don't wanna talk about that. - I know. 301 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,129 I know. 302 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:49,660 Look, it was, it was a bad gift to give you 303 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,011 and I want to apologize. 304 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,969 Okay. 305 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:55,797 So, we done? 306 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:58,321 No. No. No, no. 307 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,715 See, I think maybe I understand 308 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:03,152 why you're so upset about the dead fish. 309 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:07,287 I don't give a Flying Wallenda about a dead fish. 310 00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:09,985 Yeah. 311 00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:13,075 Yeah, I know. I know. I know. 312 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:17,732 But I think maybe the fish was a symbol. 313 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,081 Huh? 314 00:17:24,217 --> 00:17:26,393 The fish, the fish dying 315 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:30,832 I-I think maybe made you think about... 316 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,834 Not that it's gonna happen anytime soon. 317 00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,402 I mean, everybody, everybody thinks about this. 318 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,100 It's, I think about it too. 319 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:43,714 What in sweet hell are you talkin' about? 320 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:47,457 Look, I'm.. I just.. I didn't mean for the gift to upset you. 321 00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,459 Nice job! 322 00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:51,418 You know, when that fish died, I went to Al's aquarium 323 00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:52,723 to see if they'd replace it. 324 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,551 I-I told you, I'd replace it. 325 00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:57,119 I don't want you to replace it, okay? 326 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,642 Okay, okay, I understand. 327 00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:01,210 That's, that's more of the symbol thing. 328 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,038 You don't want me to replace the fish 329 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,127 because you don't want me to replace you 330 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,477 when you, you know... 331 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,568 ...when you're dead. 332 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,182 When I'm dead? 333 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:21,100 What're you bringing that up for? 334 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,233 I don't want you to replace the fish 335 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:27,976 because I found out it costs 40 bucks! 336 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:31,458 Who the hell buys a $40 fish? 337 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:35,114 Salmon costs $13.95 a pound, and you can eat it! 338 00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,557 - That's what you're mad at. - Yeah, yeah! 339 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:47,169 Then I find out the whole fish tank cost 600 bucks! 340 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,824 Where do you get off spendin' that kind of money? 341 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:53,306 How's that supposed to make me feel? 342 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:55,873 Happy? 343 00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:59,660 Jeez-o-loo, 600 bucks on a box of water! 344 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:06,232 Come on, dad, what.. I-I-I wanted to do somethin' nice. 345 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:10,671 Nice? That's more than I paid for my first car! 346 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,890 Next year, why don't you get me a coffee mug 347 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:17,025 that says, "I make more than you!" 348 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:20,159 And if I want a fish tank, I'll get my own damn fish tank! 349 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:25,512 I know you can, dad, but then it wouldn't be a gift. 350 00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:28,384 You know what's a nice gift? I'll tell ya. 351 00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:31,735 One of those magnetic coin holders for your car. 352 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:34,260 A dollar fifty at any car wash. 353 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,959 That's a nice thing for a son to give a father! 354 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:40,875 Dad, come on, I... Look, I make a good living. 355 00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,530 - I can afford to buy you this. - I know! 356 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:47,229 Okay? I know! 357 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,754 Look, how would you feel if little Geoffrey went out 358 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:55,933 and got you some big, expensive thing? 359 00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,631 I'd wonder why Micheal didn't get me something 360 00:19:57,631 --> 00:20:01,112 b-but then I would feel proud. 361 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:03,158 I'd feel proud that one of my boys could do that. 362 00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,029 You think that's how you'd feel! 363 00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:08,729 No, no, I would. I would feel proud. 364 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:11,122 So you don't feel proud of me. 365 00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,864 No, no, no, no. There's some of that. 366 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:20,349 But then there's me. 367 00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:22,830 I still have to feel about me. 368 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:28,357 Come on, dad. What? Y-you did alright. 369 00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:33,144 Didn't you do better than your father? 370 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:35,277 Some contest. 371 00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,762 Look, if it... 372 00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,111 ...if it makes you feel any better 373 00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:46,549 I wouldn't be where I am without you. 374 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,337 Yeah, yeah. 375 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,079 So... 376 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,082 Sorry for the gift. 377 00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:05,612 It's alright. At least you tried. 378 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:12,619 So you weren't upset about death at all. 379 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:16,013 Not until you mentioned it. 380 00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:18,015 Thanks, though. 381 00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:24,239 Oh, boy, Debra was way off on this one. 382 00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:30,811 - It's is a great tank. - Yeah. 383 00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:33,335 I've been wantin' to put another one in the restaurant. 384 00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,729 - Thanks a lot, Ray. - Hmm. 385 00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:38,819 It's nice to be appreciated. 386 00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:42,301 Well, dad, at least you still have the good ol' remote boat. 387 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,085 Where is it? 388 00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:47,697 I needed a coffin for Stan. 389 00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:51,658 You buried Stan in the remote boat? 390 00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:54,051 Ally wanted a ceremony. 391 00:21:54,051 --> 00:21:58,578 You don't flush a $40 fish down the toilet. 392 00:21:58,578 --> 00:22:01,407 Wo-Hop, wait! Take some fruit!