Honey!
Hi.
Hey.
I'm awake, right?
I have these dreams sometimes.
I'm Helen from Tupperware.
Yep, that's one of 'em.
Oh, Ray, I'm so glad you're home.
Listen, you got to help me get set up for this party, okay?
What, oh, oh, that thing is tonight?
That thing?
Ray, I told you about this party again this morning.
You know, you never listen to anything I say.
Well, you say a lot.
Who are the pizzas for?
See, here's the funny thing.
Ray.
A couple of the guys might be coming over
to watch the fight
maybe, might be.
Ray, I have been planning this Tupperware party for weeks.
I, but, look, the fight's only tonight.
I mean, come on, you can get plastic jugs anytime.
That's not a jug.
That's our innovative pick-a-deli.
Its easy lift-up strainer lets you select a pickle
without getting your fingers wet.
Mm.
We've been living like animals.
Ray, come on. Don't ruin tonight for me.
I'm only doin' this to see my friends for once
and to have a little fun.
And to find out what's on the cutting edge
of food storage systems.
Right.
- Okay. - Hey!
- Hi. - Hi, come on in.
- Yeah, hi. - Hi.
- Hey, Ray. - Ray, very classy.
Pay-per-view and dates.
Do I pick them, or do they pick me?
Are these guys staying?
No, they're only here to watch the fight
which they will be watching from upstairs in the bedroom.
The bedroom? Ooh, the hot zone!
Yeah.
Alright, now, listen, Ray. Here's the deal.
- I'm letting your friends stay. - Thank you.
Alright? But they're not allowed to touch anything.
I don't want them looking in the closet or in the drawers.
I don't want them trying on my shoes.
- Hi, Ray. - Hi. Hi.
- Hi, Ray. - Hello.
What's with the broads?
Yeah. Alright, here's what's gonna happen.
Guys upstairs for the fight
and ladies down here for your crap.
Alright.
- Let's go. Ready? - Yeah, yeah.
Just want to say good-bye to Amy.
Bye, honey. Have fun.
See ya later, Amy.
Okay, girls, it's time to play barnyard bingo.
Oh!
Winner gets a melon baller.
Oh, bingo! That's what I need.
Everybody think of your favorite barnyard animal.
- Horse. - Deb, Deb, Deb, Deb.
Chicken. Chicken.
Raymond, I got your crab and artichoke dip
for your sports thing.
Oh, hi.
What's all this?
Big Tupperware party.
Tupperware?
Debra's giving a Tupperware party?
Oh, I didn't know anything about this.
Ray, I told you to invite your mother.
Did you forget?
- Yes, I did. - Oh.
Sorry, Marie. Listen, just have a seat.
- I'll get you a soda. - Okay.
Yeah, and we're playing a game.
You have to think of your favorite barnyard animal.
Okay.
Oh, I like that movie "Babe" with the talking pig.
I'll be that.
What-what do you think, Debra?
I'm gonna get the sodas.
Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I just, I totally forgot that you told me to invite her.
You didn't forget.
I never told you to invite her
because I didn't want her here.
- So this wasn't my fault. - I just can't believe this.
I can't have one night with my friends
without her here butting in and making me crazy and--
Yeah, well, what are you gonna do
call off the party and maybe let my friends
come down and watch the fight on the big TV?
No, Ray. No, no.
I'm just gonna make the best of this.
I mean, I have my friends here
and, I don't know, maybe your mother will
buy a lot of Tupperware.
That's the spirit.
Come on, Debra. We need you.
- You're our chicken. - Okay.
Cocka-freakin'-doodle do.
So Bernie says to me
"Alright, I'm gonna get the curtain rods
for the bay windows."
What, do you think he measures it first?
No. He says to me, "I can eyeball it."
Why don't men ever want to measure anything?
Why do you think?
Why?
Anyway, I got to tell ya
he had to go back to that hardware store 12 times.
Twelve times to buy curtain rods?
Maybe Bernie's fooling around.
I have to use your phone.
Okay, for more free Tupperware
it's time to play "guess whose nightie?"
Did everybody put their nightie in the bag?
- Yes, ma'am! - No.
I didn't bring one.
I wasn't told about the party.
Well, why don't you pick first?
Okay.
- Ooh! - Whoo!
- I guess Amy. - Yes!
Amy? No.
Well, I never wear it.
Actually, I bought it special for this game.
Really.
Robert's never seen it.
I'm sorry.
- Well, let's pick again. - Oh, okay.
Oh, my, what is this?
Marie, it's not your turn.
- You had your turn already. - Okay.
No!
I wore that on my honeymoon.
I'm sorry, Gayle. I'm so sorry.
I could just put it back to--
Bernie's not home. I called the office. I called Nemo's.
- Where is he? - Oh, my God.
I was only joking, dear.
I never would have said anything
if I thought he was cheating.
- You call that a fight? - Fight?
I thought those two guys were gonna
skip out of the ring and go antiquing.
Want to catch a good fight?
Wait'll Debra sees our bedspread.
Goodnight, ladies.
- Anybody need a ride? - 'Oh.'
What's your hurry? Stay a while.
- I-I made my special dip. - Ray.
Uh, ma, we've eaten already, really.
Well, what about all this food
that Debra made that nobody touched?
What are these, sandwiches?
Mrs. Barone, I don't know what's in this dip
but if you weren't married...
Take her. I'll throw in the dip.
I'm sorry, Debra.
- I have to go. - Oh, no.
Hey, tell Bernie I said "hi."
Yeah, right!
- Linda... - Come on, guys. Sit down.
Marie, I'm sure Ray's friends
are not interested in Tupperware.
Actually, I could use some new ice trays.
My cubes smell.
Amy, what is this doin' here?
Did ma see this?
Holy crap! It's a whole bag of nighties.
No, Frank, that...
- It's for a game. Just... - I'm in!
You know, I-I should probably get going too.
Oh, please. Now, wait. Wait.
There's still lots of free stuff here.
Well, at least take catalogs!
This territory blows.
- Gayle, please, can't you stay? - Bye.
You know, these guys are leavin' in just a minute.
Oh, God, this is not what I wanted!
Of course it isn't, dear.
Nobody wants to give a bad party.
Hey, that Tupperware stuff is pretty good.
I just did my, uh, whole back with that scrub brush.
That's for fruit.
You might want to rinse that.
Still mad about the party?
No, I'm fine.
Good.
What's that you're writin' there?
A letter to your mother.
Why?
Well, to start with, she ruined my party.
- You're writing that? - Yep.
Yeah, but it's just for therapy.
- You're not gonna send it. - Oh, I'm sending.
Oh, no! No! No! No!
Stop and listen for a second.
Come on, if anybody ruined the party
it was the guys, and they were my fault.
So you-you should write me. Write me a letter.
No, Ray, I can't keep blaming her for everything
if I've never been honest with her
and I have never actually told her
how she makes me feel
when she does the things that she does.
But you don't put that in writing. You...
Oh, no! No!
If-if it's in writing, then you can't deny it, you know?
You can't say things like
"You didn't, you didn't hear me right"
or, or "I didn't say that. You must have misunderstood."
Because there it is. It's in writing.
You know, if it were up to you, you'd have me do nothing.
Hey, let's not underestimate nothing.
No, no, Ray, I'm not spending
the rest of my life this way
with your mother saying she's sorry
that you ever married me.
What, she's never said that.
She doesn't have to say it to say it.
- Everything she does says it. - What, like what?
Like-like when she rewashes the kids' clothes.
Yeah, and then she rewashes the kids.
Look, look, all that stuff my mom does
that's how she helps.
No, no, Ray, that's how she criticizes.
Only good can come from this letter
and I'm doin' it.
No, no, don't do it.
- Let me think it over. - Let go! Let go of the pad!
Get off that!
Stop it.
I had to try.
You know what you could try, Ray?
You could try supporting me.
Alright, alright. Okay, you're right.
You're right.
I am. I am. I'm gonna support you.
Look, just 'cause I can't confront my mother
doesn't mean I should stop you from doing it.
Thank you, Ray.
I appreciate it. I do.
You know what I need?
- A hug? - More paper.
Hey.
- Hey, Ray. - Oh, hi, dear.
You want some waffles?
Yeah, sure. Thanks.
So...
...you guys get your mail yet?
No, why?
'cause I-I was just, I was wondering
because we didn't get ours either, you know
and sometimes we, uh
we might get something of yours
and you might get something of ours.
What do you get of mine?
You know, I don't know, just, uh, junk mail.
Like what?
Whatever. Uh, flyers and coupons.
Where are they?
I just, I throw 'em out.
You throw out coupons? That's money!
Look, I'm just, all I'm saying
is that you might get some of my mail.
Well, how much were the coupons for?
- I don't know! - Jeez aloo!
Did you get the one for carpet cleaning?
- I don't know. Maybe. - That's a $10 coupon!
I was looking for that one!
Alright, look, dad, I'll give you $20
if you stop talking about this.
You think I won't take it. - I'll take it!
- I'll give it to ya! - It would teach you a lesson!
- Come on! - No, no!
You're not taking his money!
I, I'm gonna take it
because how else is he gonna learn?
He's gotta stop throwing out people's mail!
Well, that's, that's not how you do it.
If you want to teach him a lesson
you make him clean the carpet himself.
That he'll remember.
You want boysenberry or maple syrup, dear?
Maple.
Hey. Waffles?
- Yeah, how many? - Six, boysenberry.
- Is that the mail? - I'll get it for you, dad.
Uhp, buhp, buhp, buhp, buhp, buhp.
Hands off, sticky fingers.
Crap, crap...
...crap, crap...
Coupon!
Here's one that made it through.
Marie, do we need our chimney swept?
- No. - Here.
This is for your collection.
Hey, Marie. This is a letter for you.
Oh, how nice.
Hey, ma, are we eatin' or readin'?
Oh. Oh, this is odd.
- It's from Debra. - Ah! You know what that is?
That's the invitation to the Tupperware party
but you already went, and you had a good time.
No, no, no, no. That's not an invitation.
- No, that's a letter. - It's an invitation.
It's got a lot of pages like this
because it has directions to our house.
Now, come on...
Dad!
This is your mother's mail.
What is wrong with you?
"Dear Marie
this letter has been a long time coming."
It must be a thank-you note.
Oh, yeah? He-he-he!
'Alright, dad, give it to me now.'
No, no, no, no, no.
Wh-what does it say?
"For eight years now
"I've held my tongue
"and never told you how hurtful and destructive
your behavior can sometimes be."
Oh, my God.
- I have to go. - Here. Sit down.
Ma, look, it's, it's between you and Debra
and you should go over there and read that yourself
and let me out.
We have no secrets in this family.
Keep reading, Frank.
With pleasure.
Uh, "Just because we are family
"and happen also to be neighbors
"does not give you the right to constantly interfere
in every aspect of my life.."
Uh, "From raising my children
to my choice of liquid fabric softener."
I-I want you guys to know right now
that Debra has a drinking problem.
Keep reading.
- Go on, keep reading. - Come on.
Stop it!
"I-I'm sure you don't even realize
when you're being overbearing, critical and intrusive."
is this a petition?
Where do I sign?
Alright, alright. I-I've heard enough.
Oh, ma. Mom.
"Dear... Debra.."
Oh, no, ma, not another letter, please.
I'm intrusive?
Debra's not the only one who can throw around fancy words.
Where's my dictionary?
Oh, ma, stop.
Ma, she didn't mean it.
Hey, uh, did you guys happen to get the--
Mail? Oh, yeah.
Ray, did everybody read that?
You're my favorite writer.
Hello, Debra.
Hello, Marie.
I got your special delivery.
Marie, I'm sorry.
It was a mistake to send that letter.
Now? You say that now?
I got to tell you, your timing sucks.
No, I-I should have just talked to you face-to-face.
- Go ahead. - Oh.
I-I've dealt with my fair share
of domestic disputes, and everyone should know
that this is a high risk--
Eat your waffles, Robbie.
Alright.
Look, Marie, I-I'm sorry that the letter upset you.
When I wrote it, I was very angry.
And drunk.
I-it's just that sometimes you're very hard to talk to
and so I thought I could say it better in a letter.
I think you said it very clearly, Debra.
You think, among other things
that I'm intrusive, critical.
Overbearing.
I have always known that you felt that way about me.
You think I'm all those things.
Well, maybe I wouldn't be that way
if I was welcome in your house.
But, Marie, don't you see?
You're over all the time.
You don't give me a chance to welcome you.
Well, I-I-I-I...
Okay. Maybe I am those things sometimes.
But that's just because that's my way
of trying to make us a family.
That's all I ever want.
Well, that is all I want too
is for us to be a family, a real family.
But I always thought
that you didn't like my being in your family.
I thought you didn't like me being in your family.
Why would you say that?
Well, you know, when you bring food over to the house?
I do it because I care.
Oh, but, see, I feel like that's a criticism
you know, like you're saying I'm not as good as you.
You don't have to be as good as me.
I love you for what you are.
I love you too.
Oh, I'm so glad we talked.
Yeah, me too. You know what?
The Tupperware's in, and it's over at that house.
You want to come over and get yours?
- Oh, I'd love to, honey. - Okay.
Oh, and the little scraper for potato--
- Yeah. That's in. - Ooh, I love that.
You got to show me how to make those potatoes.
And I'll show you how to freeze them.
What in hell's bathroom was that?
I...I think it was a fight.
That's a fight?
You know, like, uh, a woman's fight.
I'm glad we didn't order that on pay-per-view.
- Robert, are you crying? - No, no.
See, Ray, that letter actually made your mother and I closer.
I told you not to send it.
Look, you don't understand.
We had to have that blowout to get past it
and now that we did the letter and it's behind us
we can move on.
Frank, what's Debra's letter doing in the garbage?
You read it already.
You don't throw this away.
Not ever.
Not... ever.