- Hi. - Hi, Marie.
Why was the truck in front of the house
with the dancing little bugs on top?
- We've got termites. - Oh, my God!
Oh, oh, dear, you...
I told you, dear, you have to keep up
with your housekeeping.
- Marie, why don't you-- - Oh, children, c-come on.
Off the floor, right now. Come on, come on,
Come on, you're all coming to stay with grandma.
No, no, no, we have a hotel that we're gonna stay at
while they tent the house.
A hotel?
Those places are even dirtier than here.
No, no, you're just gonna come across the street
and stay with us, period.
I'll put out some more towels.
I... Well, it would be cheaper.
Uh, financially.
How could you even think of going to a hotel?
You know, don't you think you ought to check this out
with Frank?
Why?
Did you do that yourself?
They're coming!
Oh, look, it's the Raymond Barone living memorial.
- Yeah, yeah. - So what happens?
Every 45 minutes an actor dressed as you comes in
and recreates scenes from your life, huh? Yeah--
"Oh, no, where is my retainer? Oh!"
- Hey. - "Hey, what's that? A pimple?"
"You know, all the other guys have hair down here."
Yeah.
That's it. That's the whole show.
Except for the finale where you stare
at the Farrah Fawcett poster
and lock the door.
Ugh.
Alright, here we go, the honeymoon suite.
Got the closet right over here.
Toilet down the hall. Light switch.
Okay, got it. Thank you.
I'm not tipping you, Robert.
Now, now, I just can't believe you're back.
Don't worry, Robert, it's just for a couple of days.
Yeah, that's what I said.
I'm sure you'll have a marvelous time.
Mom is going all out now that
"Raymond has come home..."
That's right, alright, thank you.
Alright, by the way, there's a few rules.
I take my showers at 6:35 in the a.m.
You will please refrain from any and all flushing.
Despite what dad thinks, it is not funny.
Enjoy your stay.
What are you doing?
Setting my alarm for 6:35.
Hey, they're touching my stuff.
- Who? - Your kids.
The two boys and the other one.
I had a whole stack of quarters.
Now it's a pile!
He-he keeps his quarters stacked up on the dresser.
'I don't like anyone touching them. You know that!'
- I know! - 'You bet you do!'
- I know that I do! - 'And don't you forget it!'
I know, dad, I won't!
It's so peaceful here.
And I'll say this, it's much smaller
than a hotel room would have been.
Come on, in, in a hotel room
you, you couldn't get the complete set
of the "Book Of Knowledge."
Hey, let's look up reproductive organs.
That's all I had...
...until Farrah.
Oh. Oh, God...
Oh, Debra, you're here.
Hi.
Hi, yeah.
I was just getting ready to watch my program.
- Oh. - Yeah.
Now.
Oh...
'Bonjour, mes etudiants de Francais'
'and welcome to "Everyday French Every Day."'
It's my French lesson.
I watch it every day
at 4:00, here.
You-you know, Debra
I-I tidied up Raymond's room.
Wouldn't you be more comfortable there?
Oh, the twins are napping in there.
Oh.
'Say it with me.'
'Une baguette avec du fromage.'
Une baguette avec du fromage.
Uh, Debra, you're reading and I'm-I'm sure
this is distracting for you.
Oh, no, I'm used to TV. I can just tune it right out.
'A black sausage.'
'Du boudin.'
Du boudin.
It was glaring on the screen.
Yeah.
Uh, oh, I'm sorry, it's probably too dark in here for you now.
No, no, that's fine.
Oh, good, good.
So long as you're comfortable.
That's the important thing.
I can't stand it. I can't live here this way.
You're leaving?
Hey! You're eating the brownies. They're for--
I know, everything's for our very special guest, Raymond.
Raymond, Raymond, Raymond, Raymond, Raymond...
Oh...
Raymond, you have to do something.
Alright, well, I didn't prepare anything, but how about this?
I'm trying to watch my French class in there
and it's very difficult.
Tres difficile.
Oh, ma, don't French, okay?
Why? What's the matter?
Well, Debra's in there reading.
- What, out loud? - No!
But I just don't feel free to participate.
- It's very intrusive. - What?
Yeah, and one of your kids is clopping around in my shoes.
Some people find that cute. I hate that.
'Yeah, and, Ray'
who flushed this morning while I was conditioning?
J'accuse!
- Oh. - Oh...
That's good, Robby, good.
- He's accusing you. - I'm ignoring him.
Oh, Ray, please, Raymond, go in and talk to Debra.
I'm missing my French class.
- Ma, no. No-- - No, please, please.
- Please, s'il vous plait. - Ya-ha! Oh.
Don't, uh, boo-bah-blah me. Alright.
Hey, could you go read in the other room?
Why?
My mom's trying to be French in here
and you're... intruding.
- What? - I don't know.
You're in the way.
Look at you.
Wait, let me get this straight.
Sitting quietly on the sofa
reading to myself is intruding?
You know how the French are.
I'm intruding?
But her coming over to my house every day with food
and rewashing the kids' clothes
and your father fixing things until they're broken...
- That's not intruding? - Okay. Alright.
- Oh! This is... I love this. - Look, it's one more day.
- Now I really love this. - 'Just play along.'
One more, that's all.
- Really? - 'What?'
- Heh. - What?
You know what?
She thinks reading is intrusive.
Okay.
Oh, what the hell was that?
What was what?
That, that "Heh-heh, okay. What?"
Uh, nothing, no, I was just thinking.
Termite bastards!
Remember to say what I taught you.
I wanna watch "Care Bears."
Hey, get out of the way.
Sweetie.
Sweetie!
Ally, here's your corn dog, honey.
Ally's having a corn dog now?
Yeah. I made enough for everybody. You want one?
But it's almost dinner, and-and mom's making lasagna.
Mm.
We shouldn't
be ha-having corn dogs now.
Get one for me, too.
- Yeah, corn dog! - Yeah...
- Hey, bubblewrap. - Hi.
Mm... Hey.
How was the rest of your day, hm?
- It's better now. - Yeah.
Hey, I'm back!
Oh, and I got all kinds of goodies here for-for...
What are you doing?
We just... We're having a little snack. Corn dog.
Corn dog?
I am making dinner.
You should know not to eat at, uh, uh...
Those are hot, aren't they?
What's the matter with you people?
I have lasagna in the oven!
Oh, my God. I'm sorry, Marie. Was that for dinner?
I-I took it out to make the corn dogs.
You want a corn dog?
No. Thank you, dear.
I still want mine.
Hey, what is this?
Oh! Gosh, I guess that's your dad's remote.
Must have accidentally brought it upstairs with me.
This was no accident.
Oh...
'Somebody help me!'
Geoffrey, get up, get up.
Whoa, wh-what are you doing?
I can't be the one who brings this to him.
He'll kill me, okay?
He likes Geoffrey. Geoffrey!
- Shh! Now, would you stop? - 'No.'
Just stop that, stop it.
Go back to sleep, honey.
Listen, you're going too far with this.
This? This is nothing compared to what they--
Oh, come on! Look.
When they come over and do stuff
it's 'cause they don't know any better. You do.
You-you know what's that called when you know better
and you still do it?
- Not nice! - Oh-ooh!
I'm serious! Listen, we are guests in this house.
Oh, my gosh!
Who are you? Admiral Von Puss?
No.
Ray, can't you see? I'm just trying to make a point here.
Listen, you could help me. It could be fun!
Come on, we never do anything together anymore.
Alright, you are sick!
If I am sick, it's because your family made me that way.
Well...
We made you that way.
- I'm sorry that's how you feel. - Oh...
Puh! What? Where are you going?
I'm going to sleep elsewhere, okay?
I wouldn't wanna make you sick.
Oh. Goodnight, admiral.
Hey, Robert.
Robert?
Robert? Oh!
- Oh, Raymond. I'm sorry. - Hm...
Sorry, I didn't... It's just a reflex.
I think I know why your marriage broke up.
- What are you doing down here? - I need a place to sleep.
Debra, she's got the kids in the bed.
Go sleep on the couch.
I can't, dad's still tearing apart the living room
looking for the remote control.
Come on, it's just one more night.
Just move over.
Alright, but no noise.
- I got an early shift. - Yeah.
Hey, could you, uh...
...put a shirt on?
And some underpants?
Excuse me, I believe this is my bed.
Alright, but...
Come on, a guy gets in bed with you, you put some pants on.
I will not.
You don't want to sleep with me, go back to your wife.
I'm, I'm not gonna be able to sleep ever!
So everybody has to do what Raymond wants, right?
New sheets for Raymond. Brownies for Raymond.
Can't sleep naked around Raymond.
You know what you are?
Intrusive.
What? You're calling me that?
You're calling me that?
Intrusive, you!
Intrusive.
You know what? Debra was right.
Think this is intrusive? Yeah, okay.
- Where are you going? - Upstairs. Don't get up.
You are so uptight.
Ah!
Holy crapping crap!
- What the hell happened here? - 'Yeah.'
I wanted to tell you. I-I tried to fix it. It was too loose.
It was never this friggin' loose.
Ah. I'm sorry, dad, I was just, I was trying to help.
You wanna help me? Find my remote.
I don't understand why you would use bleach on these towels.
They-they-they just seemed a little yellowy.
Yes, they're yellow towels!
My whole bathroom is yellow!
It's my theme!
Oh.
What did you do with the door?
Why is it always me?
Why don't you ask your son there, Mr. Fix-it?
Hey, I'm just trying to help.
Ma, where are all the towels?
Oh, hi.
You are a little too free with the body.
- When are they leaving? - See, yellow!
- Ma, ma, towel, please. - No.
This doesn't go with... Here.
Thanks.
Look what you're doing to us.
What? What are we doing? We're-we're just helping.
Yeah. I mean, you seem to have so much to do.
We just wanted to pitch in.
- Why, is this annoying to you? - Is it bothering you?
- Are we intrusive? - Because we don't mean to be.
We-we're just trying to help you the way you help us.
Oh.
I see what they're doing.
Are you trying to repay us
for everything we do for you?
- Well-- - Well, but you see, dear...
When we help you, we're actually helping.
What?
Don't worry. No, no, I'm not mad.
I can't be mad at you if you don't know what you're doing.
You know what, mom?
Maybe you haven't spent enough time
showing them how to do things.
- Hey, Robert-- - No, no.
I say, when that tent comes down
ma's over there showing you how to do the laundry.
Why don't you go complete the outfit
and put on the toilet seat cover?
And maybe dad could teach Ray how to fix stuff. Hm?
That's true.
You don't know a monkey wrench
from a monkey's ass
do you, son?
- No. - Hey!
They're taking the tents off!
Oh, we can start right now.
I'll go get my cleaning supplies.
And we'll make you a starter kit.
I'll get some tools, hammerhead.
Hey, Ray.
Raymond. It was, it was Raymond!
I knew he really didn't wanna sleep with me.