1 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,353 Everybody's asleep. 2 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:06,615 Good. 3 00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:09,313 Wanna play Candyland? 4 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,054 What? The kid's game? 5 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,403 Not if you're naked. 6 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:17,408 Ray, come on! This is gonna be worse if I leave it. 7 00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:18,888 You're supposed to leave it. 8 00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,672 That's the "let-it-sit" rule, right? 9 00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:21,978 I love that rule. 10 00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,849 Yeah, I never should have taught you that. 11 00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:28,506 Whoo! Never should've taught you that either. 12 00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,421 Get away from me! 13 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,516 Oh, hey! We're in here! 14 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,388 - Occupied! - What is going on? 15 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:43,130 Big shot cop here wants to give me a ticket! 16 00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:46,350 I don't want to, I have to! 17 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:50,137 End of the month, he's got a quota. 18 00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,052 You hit my patrol car! 19 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,143 I'm your father! 20 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,188 I don't care if I killed a guy! 21 00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:01,713 You're supposed to look the other way. Right? 22 00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:05,630 Dad, whatever you do I wanna look the other way. 23 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,154 I can't look the other way anymore. 24 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,851 You drive like a maniac. 25 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,853 Frank, how did you hit Robert's patrol car? 26 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,507 My partner comes to pick me up 27 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,857 and dad backs out of the driveway without looking. 28 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:16,511 The car shouldn't have been there! 29 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:19,166 On the street? 30 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:22,430 So call it a hit and run. Say you never saw the guy! 31 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,693 I can't lie on the police report. 32 00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:27,826 Because I have a moral obligation as a police officer 33 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:31,265 and I almost got caught for lying for you the last time! 34 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,570 Now let me see your license! 35 00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,616 Sorry, Sally, I'm fighting this! 36 00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:37,009 There is black and white on the side of your car! 37 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:38,533 I hit a penguin! 38 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:42,014 I'm writing the ticket! 39 00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:45,844 That's Barone! 40 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:48,934 B-A-R-O-N-E! 41 00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:51,502 As in the man from whose loins you sprung! 42 00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,986 By the way... 43 00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:59,597 ...I hope you have someplace else to sleep tonight! 44 00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,730 Because if you try to come home 45 00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:05,168 I'm gonna have you arrested for breaking and entering! 46 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,485 Does that couch pull out? 47 00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:25,406 Did you do that yourself? 48 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,801 They're coming! 49 00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,411 So if dad doesn't pay this ticket 50 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,065 is there gonna be, like, a court date? 51 00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,198 'Cause I would take off of work for that. 52 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,853 I might just give him a warning. 53 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:26,510 Oh, wussy-wus-wus. 54 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:30,122 Come on, you-you got a chance to get even with this guy! 55 00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:31,559 I-I don't know. 56 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:32,908 What do you mean you don't know? 57 00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:36,085 Remember what he's done to us? Huh... 58 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,652 Remember "Guess that smell?" 59 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,045 Yeah? 60 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,830 The killing of the tooth fairy? 61 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:48,010 - Liver week? - Liver week was my fault. 62 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:52,014 Would have been one night if I just could have swallowed it. 63 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,452 Ray? Listen, I've decided I don't want Frank 64 00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,193 driving the kids anymore. 65 00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:58,542 What? 66 00:03:58,542 --> 00:03:59,761 I don't want him driving the kids. 67 00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,066 It makes me uncomfortable. 68 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:02,720 Because of the swearing? 69 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679 Because of the driving! 70 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:08,204 He's not a safe driver. 71 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,119 Yeah, well, I don't think I can tell him 72 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,861 that he can't drive his own grandkids around. 73 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,255 Why not? He's too aggressive. 74 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,517 That's why I can't tell him. 75 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:19,955 I just, I can't believe the way 76 00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:22,523 your whole family protects Frank! 77 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,612 You know? He's got everybody so intimidated. 78 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:27,702 Good for you, Robert, for-for giving him that ticket. 79 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,617 Yeah, well, he's just giving him a warning. 80 00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:31,749 Well, I can't live over here forever. 81 00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,274 Can I? 82 00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:38,974 - No. - Then it's just a warning! 83 00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,367 Wuss! 84 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,890 - You're the wuss! - How am I the wuss? 85 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,544 Let me show you how you're the wuss! 86 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:45,589 - Bring it! Bring it! - Wait. Okay, okay, okay, okay! 87 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:46,895 You know, he's right. 88 00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:48,984 At least Robert stood up to Frank. 89 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:51,595 You on the other hand, would put your own children in jeopardy 90 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:54,250 just to avoid an embarrassing conversation. 91 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,948 Hey, our kids are not in jeopardy. 92 00:04:56,948 --> 00:05:00,169 How do we know Robert isn't the one who caused that accident? 93 00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,127 It's liver week again! 94 00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,879 God. 95 00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,665 Huh? I'm doing that one. 96 00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,754 For three innings. 97 00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,886 Who wants to go to the Happy Zone? 98 00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,584 I do! 99 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,629 Then get in the car. 100 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,544 And I hope your dad gave you some quarters 101 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,154 'cause I'm not the bank. 102 00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:35,247 Uh, you know, I forgot it was Happy Zone day. 103 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:36,945 Every other Saturday. 104 00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:38,860 That's what you wanted, wasn't it? 105 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,776 A day without the kids so you could catch up on the cleaning? 106 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:45,432 Well, maybe we should do it more often. 107 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,825 Last one in the car is a rotten egg! 108 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,350 Um, Ally? Yeah, yeah, wait a minute, honey! 109 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,830 Um, uh, Ray, maybe you should go with them to the Happy Zone. 110 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:55,311 No, no, no, when everybody goes 111 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:58,227 then this becomes the Happy Zone. 112 00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:00,838 Yeah, well, maybe you should just go anyway. You know? 113 00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,362 You-you take the kids 114 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,755 so they won't mess up Frank's car. 115 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,322 Well, I-I'm not so picky now 116 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:09,543 that Robert got his stupid cop paint on it. 117 00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,066 You see, everything's fine. 118 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:12,589 Come on, Marie! 119 00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:15,331 Ray, maybe you're not hearing me. 120 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,854 I'm hearing you make trouble. 121 00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:21,293 Okay, I got juice for everyone. Here we go. 122 00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:23,731 Ray? Ray? Ray? 123 00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,907 Ray, Ray wants to drive. 124 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,082 I didn't say that! 125 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,824 Okay, fine. 126 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:32,870 I'll go to the Happy Zone. 127 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,785 They may not let you in with that attitude. 128 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,398 Okay, mommy's driving. 129 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,052 - Then why the hell am I going? - Because it will be fun! 130 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,665 It'll give us all a chance to spend more time together! 131 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:48,190 I, I-I thought the point was to give you a day off? 132 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,800 Not that I ever got a day off. 133 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,454 You can take off anytime. 134 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,762 That's it. I'm riding with Debra. 135 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,546 - Then who's going with me? - Alright, alright! 136 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,722 Marie, you take my car and drive the kids. 137 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,855 I'll ride with Frank. I want to talk to him anyway. 138 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:05,163 Alright! Look! I'll drive with my father, okay? 139 00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,427 You, you go with Debra and the kids in our car 140 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,777 and this way there doesn't need to be any talking. 141 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,561 - W-why are you going? - Why? 142 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:14,434 Because I shouldn't miss out on the happiness. 143 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,351 - Hi, grandpa! - Yeah, yeah. 144 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,094 See, now there's a line for skee-ball. 145 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,445 We're screwed! 146 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,143 - Where have you been? - We ran into traffic. 147 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:31,451 It wasn't traffic, dad. It was a funeral procession. 148 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,149 One less idiot in the world. 149 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:35,977 That's a terrible thing to say. 150 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,848 You don't even know the person. 151 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:40,503 We met the family. 152 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,463 And believe me, the family Von idiot. 153 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:48,250 - You met them? - During the fight. 154 00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,383 What fight? 155 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:53,298 There was no fight! 156 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:56,127 They didn't want to get their good suits dirty. 157 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,999 What happened? 158 00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,653 A few people... 159 00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:02,351 I don't know, I guess they were the mourners 160 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:05,223 they-they got a little upset 'cause we almost caused 161 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,964 a pile up when dad cut off the hearse. 162 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,184 - Oh! - Oh, Frank. 163 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,360 What kind of rush is he in? 164 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,404 He's dead! 165 00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:16,670 - Hold me, please? - Oh. 166 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,019 You were right. You were right. 167 00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,368 He-he shouldn't be driving the kids. 168 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,718 He shouldn't be driving at all. 169 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,111 What are you blubbering about? 170 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,330 You! You! You're a terrible driver! 171 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:28,377 - I'm a great driver! - Dad, we almost go hit! 172 00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,727 It was in my blind spot! 173 00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:34,383 What, a 20-car funeral procession? 174 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,907 That-that's not a blind spot, dad. 175 00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,082 That's west! 176 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,129 You're exaggerating. 177 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,783 You're a hostile driver. 178 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,915 He's a hostile person. 179 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,613 You should see him brush his teeth. 180 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:52,836 Debra's right, dad. Y-you're not driving the kids anymore. 181 00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,229 What's this about, Debra? 182 00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:57,188 Uh, talk to Ray. 183 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,410 All of a sudden I'm not driving the kids? 184 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,716 Where is this coming from? 185 00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:05,588 From my near-death experience! 186 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:08,199 It's amazing your license hasn't been revoked already. 187 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,027 Ah, let 'em take it. 188 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,073 The damn thing's expired anyhow. 189 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,291 Oh. 190 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,337 - What? - Frank! 191 00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:18,122 You told me you took care of it. What the hell's wrong with you? 192 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:21,256 Wait, y-you're driving without a valid license? 193 00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:24,868 I didn't want to wait in those long lines! 194 00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:27,871 Besides, I kinda like the picture on this one. 195 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:30,482 See, ten pounds lighter and more hair. 196 00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,573 This expired last year. 197 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:37,402 I am not driving with you until you get that renewed! 198 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,447 That's incentive? 199 00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:42,451 Why couldn't my marriage license expire? 200 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,237 Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? 201 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,239 You're not getting these back until you pass a driving test. 202 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:51,025 Are you outta your mind? Give me those damn keys! 203 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,201 Hey! Hey, come here! 204 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,420 Hey! Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! Hey! Hey! 205 00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:02,645 I'll walk. 206 00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:19,531 Dad, it's 7:00 a.m. What the hell are you doing? 207 00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:22,099 Let's go! My test is at 7:30! 208 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,710 What? What test? 209 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,407 At the DMV! 210 00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:27,322 I gotta take the stupid test again 211 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:30,847 and they got some rule about going with a licensed driver! 212 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,240 I'm not going now! 213 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:35,765 Stop it! Dad! 214 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,898 'Barone, you stupid ass!' 215 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:41,553 Hey, I'm on it! I got it! I got it! 216 00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:44,078 Alright, dad! I'm coming. Shut up. 217 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,386 Good morning. 218 00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,477 How'd you get the keys back from mom? 219 00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:56,090 That was... not pleasant. 220 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:59,136 - But I found the remote. - Yeah. 221 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,312 Come on. Let's get this over with. 222 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,444 Car. Car! 223 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:06,404 - Aw, wait your turn! - Dad, what are you... 224 00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,755 What are you doing? You didn't look, you didn't signal. 225 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,495 There was plenty of room! 226 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:11,714 This is the kind of stuff 227 00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:12,933 that's going to be on the test, you know? 228 00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,195 Ah, come on, they're not going to have 229 00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,457 that beginner's crap on there. 230 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:16,980 Yes, they are. You gotta do that. 231 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,329 You gotta look in the mirror. 232 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,896 Yeah, yeah. 233 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,985 And both hands on the wheel. 00 and 2:00. 234 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,552 Both hands. Sit up straight. 235 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:24,901 Oh, come on! 236 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:28,165 Yes, and-and you have to signal every time. 237 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,819 There's only one signal you need. 238 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,517 Let me find it. 239 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:35,303 - Here it is! - Dad! 240 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:38,088 Dad! That's a lady, dad! 241 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:41,222 Oh, great! She's giving it back. Good. 242 00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:44,007 That's good. Two fingers before breakfast. 243 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:46,836 Driving test. 244 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,317 The next thing I know, they'll have me take a walking test. 245 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,884 Stop sign. 246 00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,537 - Breathing test. - Stop sign. 247 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:55,889 - Bathroom test. - Stop sign, dad! 248 00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:57,064 - What? - What are you doing? 249 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,500 You went through a stop sign! 250 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,110 That's called a rolling stop! 251 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:03,200 - W... - What? There was nobody coming. 252 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,549 Saves the brakes! 253 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,073 Yeah, tell that to your instructor. 254 00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:09,859 You know what he'll give you? A bus pass! 255 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:12,775 I don't need you telling me how to drive. I taught you. 256 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,342 Yeah, well, great. I'll use your method. 257 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,560 After everything I tell you 258 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,694 I'll just add the word "stupid." 259 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:21,871 Fine, then I'll burst into tears. 260 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,525 "Don't yell at me! 261 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,530 How can I drive when you're yelling at me!" 262 00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,408 I'm trying to help you. 263 00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:39,889 Okay? What, do you want to pass this test or not? 264 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,978 Don't worry about me. 265 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,285 This whole family's a bunch of pansies. 266 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:46,809 I've been driving for 50 years! 267 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,203 Yeah, maybe that's enough. 268 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,900 What's that supposed to mean? 269 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,380 Nothing. 270 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,816 Let me tell you something, when I started 271 00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:56,297 you needed skill to drive a car. 272 00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,734 No automatic transmission. 273 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,867 No power steering. 274 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,085 No cup holder. 275 00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:06,568 Yes, sir, you needed a little muscle, Nancy. 276 00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:07,699 Dad! 277 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,880 Don't yell at me! 278 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,360 You-you were going to hit that guy! You didn't see him? 279 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,407 I saw him! He-he-he stopped short. 280 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:22,018 No, he didn't, dad! He didn't. He's at a light! 281 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,803 Y-you were talking to me! How am I supposed to 282 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,109 think and drive at the same time? 283 00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,025 Yeah, right. Right. 284 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,290 - Green light, dad. - I know! 285 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,860 Oh, oh, excuse me. I forgot to signal. 286 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,046 What happened? 287 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,832 He passed. 288 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,842 He passed? 289 00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,845 - Wait. Just-- - He passed. 290 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,630 - Just the written part, right? - No. 291 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,632 Everything. 292 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:13,765 The writing, the driving, the seeing. 293 00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:20,294 - They gave him a new license? - Yup! 294 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:21,861 Pretty good picture, too. 295 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:27,388 What kind of government is this? 296 00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:28,955 What do you mean? They... 297 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,914 They just gave your father a new license? 298 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:35,483 They're just giving stuff away over there! My God! 299 00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:37,615 Alright, hey, I'm gonna go out tomorrow 300 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,966 and, uh, get my pilot's license. 301 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:43,578 Yes. And then I'm gonna, oh, perform a few marriages. 302 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:46,711 And then I'm gonna open a casino! 303 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:51,107 Hey... while you're at it, get a masseuse's license. 304 00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:53,327 Why are you just lying there? What are we gonna do now? 305 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,850 What? What are we gonna do? 306 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,157 He's got a shiny new license. 307 00:14:57,157 --> 00:15:00,334 Mine expires before his does. 308 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,684 Okay, well, just because he slipped through the crack 309 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:05,774 this incredibly huge crack 310 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,123 doesn't mean he should be allowed to drive. 311 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,820 We still have to talk to him. 312 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,345 No, no. 313 00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:14,043 No, I'll tell you, I'll tell you what has to be done. 314 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,132 What I've been saying all along... 315 00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:18,918 All the cars should be made out of nerf. 316 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,097 - This is your solution? - Yeah, that's it. 317 00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:25,663 No-no metal, no glass. 318 00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,187 Crashes are now fun! 319 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,493 Oh, I see. 320 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,321 You've really thought this through, huh? 321 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,933 What happens to your nerf car when it rains? 322 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:37,327 You ring it out at the light. 323 00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:39,373 Rain. The real problem is the wind. 324 00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:41,288 "My car! Ah!" 325 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,342 The real problem is that now your father 326 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:55,215 has the state of New York behind him. 327 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:57,347 Yeah, well, they better not try to pass him 328 00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,609 'cause he'll flip them off. 329 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,570 W... So this doesn't worry you? 330 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:06,313 Well, look, the thing with my father is 331 00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:09,403 he-he always drove fast and took chances, you know? 332 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:12,145 But he, he had the moves to back it up. 333 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,408 Now... 334 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,368 He's getting older, Ray. 335 00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:21,589 Yeah. 336 00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:23,678 But he passed the test. 337 00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:26,028 And I-I gotta tell you 338 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,378 I was, I was a little proud of him, you know? 339 00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,120 'Cause maybe that means that... 340 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:34,950 ...he's not really that old. 341 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:39,346 I know it's hard, you know? 342 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,565 Especially when they live right across the street 343 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:45,178 and you see him every day. 344 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,615 Sometimes two, three times a day. 345 00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:52,228 And, you know, you don't notice that they're getting older. 346 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:53,969 Yeah. 347 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:58,234 I guess all that time he spends with his head in our fridge... 348 00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,453 ...keeps him fresh. 349 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,544 You know, sometimes I don't see my parents 350 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,546 for, like, three months. And then when I do 351 00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:07,635 it's, whoa, suddenly they're older. 352 00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:10,246 Uh-huh. That's the better way. 353 00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,294 So listen, what about the driving? 354 00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:17,340 Well, I think we gotta be adults here, you know? 355 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:21,083 And every morning let the air out of his tires. 356 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,261 No, you're right, we have to be the grown-ups now 357 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,220 'cause that's what happens. 358 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,570 And we're just gonna have to tell him. 359 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,137 He can't drive the kids anymore. 360 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:34,227 And he shouldn't be driving at night 361 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:38,579 when the weather's bad, or anywhere there's people. 362 00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,450 Yeah, while we're at it, why don't we tell him 363 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:44,280 how much TV he can watch, and how much candy he's allowed 364 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:48,154 and make him tie his retainer to his belt loop with fishing line 365 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,720 so he doesn't lose it! 366 00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:53,855 He did that to me. 367 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,603 Well, maybe you'll do better with them 368 00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:03,995 than they did with you. 369 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:06,911 This, this driving thing 370 00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:08,913 it's-it's just the beginning, isn't it? 371 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,393 Yup. 372 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,874 Okay, alright! We're the parents now. 373 00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:15,311 I'll tell you one thing. You're giving them the sex talk. 374 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,622 - Hey. - Hey. 375 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,537 - You know who I saw last night? - Who? 376 00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:25,278 Bobby Kotch. 377 00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:27,106 Bobby Kotch, what? From Little League? 378 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,846 That's right. The lanky guy. 379 00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,631 Yeah? How's he doing? 380 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:31,893 Remember when we used to make fun of him 381 00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,590 for throwing like a girl? 382 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:34,809 Yeah? 383 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:37,942 Turned out to be a cross-dresser. 384 00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,640 Get outta here. How do you know? 385 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,076 I arrested him. 386 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:46,212 You can arrest someone for being a cross-dresser? 387 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,997 Oh, you can when he's beating up a guy with a baseball bat. 388 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:58,049 So, what does he look like in a dress? 389 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,356 Not bad. 390 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:12,368 Hey, Robert? Dad look like he's getting old to you? 391 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,807 Is this a rest home discussion? 392 00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,027 'Cause I've got some brochures in my room. 393 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:24,119 I mean, what is he now? He's like 66? 394 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:29,864 Raymond, the man is gonna live for many, many more years. 395 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:31,605 And you'll feel much better 396 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,476 once you make your peace with it. 397 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,087 No, I mean, it's just... 398 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,092 Hey, you wanna be a parent one day, right? 399 00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,182 Yeah, sure. 400 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,750 I was thinking of a really good training program for you. 401 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,839 - Hey! - It's a boy. 402 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,541 Where's Ally? The movie starts in half an hour. 403 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,803 What movie? 404 00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:57,108 I told Ally I'd take her 405 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:59,807 to that new piece of animated crap. 406 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:01,809 Oh, it's not crap, dad. It's good. 407 00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:04,159 I mean, you know, it's no "Little Mermaid," but, uh... 408 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,729 Amy wanted to go. 409 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,209 Hi, grandpa! 410 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,950 Hey, sweetheart. Go get your raincoat. 411 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,735 - Really raining, huh? - 'Yeah.' 412 00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:17,868 Hey, maybe I'll go with you? 413 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,261 - You wanna go? - Yeah. 414 00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:21,089 Yeah, I like those movies, you know? 415 00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:24,397 And plus, it's the matinee, right? We get the matinee price? 416 00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,050 Yeah, I'll go, hey, Rob, you mind 417 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,400 watching the twins till Debra gets home? 418 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,966 - Sure. - 'Yeah, okay.' 419 00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:31,621 Hey, Ray? 420 00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:36,104 Here. 421 00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:40,717 You giving me these? 422 00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:41,849 You're driving. 423 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:45,766 You got a problem with that? 424 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,116 That way I'll have both hands free for signaling. 425 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,296 - Bye, Uncle Robert. - Bye, kiddo. 426 00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:55,950 Listen, about the movie. 427 00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:58,257 Don't get too attached to the zebra with the... 428 00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:00,955 Well, you'll see. 429 00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:06,090 Hey. Oh, boy. 430 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,788 Hey, you're paying for the movie. 431 00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:09,398 Okay. Don't worry about it. 432 00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,707 And I want lots of candy! 433 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,839 I-it's gonna ruin your dinner, though. 434 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,972 No, don't jump in the puddles! 435 00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:24,631 Debra, Penny's is having a sale on athletic socks. 436 00:21:24,631 --> 00:21:27,460 - Anybody need socks? - I think we're good. 437 00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:30,680 I'm pretty low. We should swing by. 438 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,116 And I need to get to the post office before it closes. 439 00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:33,901 Okay. Okay. 440 00:21:33,901 --> 00:21:36,033 Whoa, whoa! 441 00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:37,513 Hey, that moron cut you off! 442 00:21:37,513 --> 00:21:39,080 Alright. It's alright, Frank. 443 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,909 Hey, hey, wait a... No, you can't be a doormat! 444 00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:43,302 Excuse me, honey. 445 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,825 Grandpa has something for that man. 446 00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:47,088 No, Frank! No. 447 00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:49,960 This is for you, you stupid stinking hump!