1 00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,733 - MORNING, DEB. HERE'S YOUR PAPER. 2 00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:08,133 - THANKS, ROBERT. 3 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,200 - JUST STOPPED BY MOM AND DAD'S FOR SOME COFFEE, 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,733 BUT I COULDN'T TAKE ALL THE...MOM AND DAD. 5 00:00:16,633 --> 00:00:18,267 - HERE. YOU CAN HAVE RAY'S. 6 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:20,333 - OH. THANKS. 7 00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:23,233 THERE'S A VIBE OVER THERE THAT GIVES ME-- 8 00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:24,967 I CAN'T DESCRIBE IT-- 9 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:27,400 SEARING ABDOMINAL CRAMPS. 10 00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:31,633 - WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING OVER THERE? 11 00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:32,633 - GOOD COFFEE. 12 00:00:34,633 --> 00:00:35,600 - HOW'S THIS, HUH? 13 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:40,567 - WELL, WHEN YOU--WHEN YOU FACTOR IN THE VIBE HERE, 14 00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:42,533 THE--THE WHOLE PACKAGE IS GOOD. 15 00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:43,700 HEY, RAY. 16 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:44,733 - ROBERT. 17 00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:55,633 OUT OF MILK. 18 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,200 YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE. 19 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,200 - YOU WANTED MILK. 20 00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:24,400 [door opens and closes] 21 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,100 - I'VE GOT TO BUY MYSELF A COFFEEMAKER. 22 00:01:37,567 --> 00:01:38,600 - HEY. 23 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,400 - HEY. 24 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,433 RAYMOND, LOOK AT YOU. 25 00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:43,400 - WHAT? 26 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,733 - YOU'VE GOT MILK SPOTS. 27 00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:49,667 - HOW CAN YOU TELL IT'S MILK FROM OVER THERE? 28 00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:51,733 - IT'S WHAT I DO. 29 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,633 WHAT, DID ONE OF THE CHILDREN GET YOU? 30 00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,800 - NO, DEBRA. 31 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,400 - WELL, OF COURSE. 32 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,333 IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND A KITCHEN, 33 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:05,133 THESE THINGS ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN. 34 00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:06,667 OH, SIT DOWN. EAT. 35 00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:10,733 - YOU DON'T CLEAN UP MY SPOTS. 36 00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:13,700 - YOUR SPOTS? 37 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,633 I COULD SQUEEZE OUT YOUR SHIRT AND MAKE SOUP. 38 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:23,067 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE ME THIS SHIRT. 39 00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:24,267 - NO, NO, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK, MA. 40 00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:25,600 NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. 41 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,000 - WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW DEBRA 42 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,400 CAN LET YOU GO TO WORK LIKE THAT. 43 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,700 - SHE DOESN'T CARE. 44 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:32,400 - WHAT'S THAT, DEAR? 45 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,300 - NO. NOTHIN', NOTHIN'. 46 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:36,733 - WHAT? 47 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,800 YOU CAN TALK TO ME. I'M YOUR MOTHER. 48 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,600 PLEASE TALK TO ME. 49 00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:52,000 - NOTHIN'. NOTHIN'. IT'S JUST...UNNHH. 50 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,533 - WHAT? WHAT? 51 00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:55,467 - CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGNS? 52 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,967 "NOTHIN'. IT'S JUST... NUHHH." 53 00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,733 HE'S MARRIED. 54 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,200 - OH. 55 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,200 WHAT DID SHE DO? 56 00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,933 - SO...TROUBLE IN PARADISE? 57 00:03:11,933 --> 00:03:13,600 - OH, NO. IT'S JUST THAT... 58 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,200 YOU KNOW, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HEAR ME COMPLAIN ABOUT RAY? 59 00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:26,267 - PERHAPS WE HAVEN'T MET. I'M ROBERT BARONE. 60 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:29,533 - NOTHIN'. SHE JUST... 61 00:03:29,533 --> 00:03:32,200 SHE WENT ALL NUTS OVER A CAN OPENER. 62 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,200 - CAN OPENER? 63 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,100 - OH, POOR RAYMOND. 64 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:39,233 NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM A CAN. 65 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:41,133 GO ON. GO AHEAD. TELL ME. 66 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,533 - NOTHIN'. 67 00:03:42,533 --> 00:03:44,467 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG. 68 00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:48,167 I MEAN, I COME HOME IN A GOOD MOOD, LIKE USUAL. 69 00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:49,367 - WELL, OF COURSE, DEAR. 70 00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:51,733 YOU WERE ALWAYS A HAPPY CHILD. 71 00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,033 - YEAH. 72 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,467 I KNOW. ANYWAY, I'M WALKIN' IN... 73 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:57,333 - HI, DADDY. - HI, DADDY. 74 00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,233 - HEY, EVERYBODY. - HI, DADDY. 75 00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:00,500 - [cheerfully] HI! 76 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,633 - UHH. 77 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,500 - HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 78 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,367 - EVERYTHING'S FINE. 79 00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,567 - GREAT. WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 80 00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,200 - I HAVEN'T MADE YOU ANYTHING YET, RAY. 81 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,667 CAN YOU WAIT? 82 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:28,900 - FINE. 83 00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:32,100 I'LL MAKE MY OWN DINNER. 84 00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:37,433 [whistling] 85 00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:45,100 MMM, TUNA FISH. 86 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:48,233 WHERE IS THAT CAN OPENER? 87 00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:50,033 - IT'S IN THE DRAWER. 88 00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:51,433 - WHAT? 89 00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:54,600 - THE CAN OPENER IS IN THE UTENSIL DRAWER. 90 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,367 - RIGHTIE-OH. 91 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,333 AH. 92 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:02,767 - YEAH, I BOUGHT A NEW ONE. 93 00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:05,467 - OH. DID WE NEED A NEW CAN OPENER? 94 00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:07,833 - IT'S BETTER. OKAY? 95 00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:11,367 IT CUTS FROM THE SIDE SO THERE'S NO SHARP EDGES. 96 00:05:11,367 --> 00:05:14,767 - HOW DOES THIS THING WORK? 97 00:05:14,767 --> 00:05:17,067 - YOU PUT IT ON THE CAN. YOU TWIST THE THING. 98 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,700 YOU OPEN...THE CAN! 99 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:19,567 [sighs] 100 00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:23,367 - GREAT. A BETTER CAN OPENER. 101 00:05:23,367 --> 00:05:24,433 [laughs] 102 00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:28,567 - WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 103 00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:31,667 - WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOA! [laughs] 104 00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,500 WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS? 105 00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:40,367 - OH, USE A FORK. GOD. 106 00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:42,433 - HMM? 107 00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:46,633 - OOP. 108 00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:53,933 - WAS--WAS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE OTHER CAN OPENER? 109 00:05:53,933 --> 00:05:56,867 - THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS CAN OPENER. 110 00:05:56,867 --> 00:05:59,267 - [chuckling] NO, NOTHING'S WRONG, HONEY. 111 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,967 I MEAN, I WOULD'VE PREFERRED THE TUNA ON BREAD, 112 00:06:01,967 --> 00:06:04,333 BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S... 113 00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:07,767 IT'S JUST AS DELICIOUS RIGHT OUT OF THE SINK. 114 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:11,067 [laughing] 115 00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,767 - THIS IS THE CAN OPENER I BOUGHT, OKAY, RAY? 116 00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:16,333 BECAUSE IT'S BETTER. 117 00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,533 IT'S NOT STUPID, AND I'M NOT STUPID! 118 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:26,033 - WHAT'D I SAY? 119 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:29,667 AND I'M NOT EXAGGERATING. 120 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:35,767 - IT'S JUST THAT SOMETIMES HE'S SUCH A JERK! 121 00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:38,567 - GIVEN. DETAILS? 122 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,833 - LAST NIGHT, OKAY? THE KIDS ARE A MESS. 123 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,767 I'M TRYIN' TO HOLD EVERYTHING TOGETHER. 124 00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:46,933 - YOU'RE THE GLUE, DEBRA. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. 125 00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:49,200 - ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, HE COMES HOME... 126 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,933 [kids all shouting] 127 00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:53,767 - OH, PLEASE, COME ON. 128 00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:55,167 - I'M GONNA RUN AWAY. 129 00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:56,900 - NO! DON'T RUN AWAY. 130 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,833 MOMMY WOULD MISS YOU SO MUCH. 131 00:06:58,833 --> 00:07:00,200 YES, SHE WOULD. 132 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,967 OH, COME ON. SIT, SIT, SIT. LET'S EAT. 133 00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:03,267 HEY, DADDY'S HOME. HI, RAY. 134 00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:05,167 - YEAH. - HI, DADDY. 135 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:08,367 - [flatly] HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 136 00:07:08,367 --> 00:07:10,100 - OH, GOSH. WELL, ACTUALLY, IT WAS-- 137 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,000 - GREAT. WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 138 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,900 - I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO MAKE YOU ANYTHING YET, RAY. 139 00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:15,900 IF YOU COULD JUST WAIT. 140 00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,300 - [grouchily] FINE. 141 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,000 MAKE MY OWN DINNER. 142 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,733 AGAIN. 143 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,767 MMM! TUNA FISH. 144 00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:36,500 SON OF A--WELL, WHERE'S THE CAN OPENER? 145 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,400 - UH, IT'S IN THE DRAWER. 146 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,633 - WHAT? 147 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,533 - THE CAN OPENER'S IN THE UTENSIL DRAWER. 148 00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:43,433 - RIGHT. 149 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:49,100 [loud rattling] 150 00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:54,333 - HERE. 151 00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:56,667 SEE? I BOUGHT A NEW ONE. 152 00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:59,333 - [irritated] DID WE NEED A NEW CAN OPENER? 153 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,067 - IT'S BETTER; IT CUTS THE CAN FROM THE SIDE 154 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,633 SO THERE'S NO SHARP EDGES. 155 00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:07,000 - HOW DOES THIS THING WORK? 156 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,433 - LOOK. 157 00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:10,633 SEE? YOU JUST PUT IT ON THE CAN. 158 00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:13,167 YOU TWIST THE THING, AND IT OPENS THE CAN. 159 00:08:13,167 --> 00:08:14,233 - MMM. - HUH? 160 00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,133 - GREAT, A BETTER CAN OPENER. 161 00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:18,500 [chuckles] - WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 162 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,133 NOTHING! 163 00:08:25,033 --> 00:08:28,167 OH, GREAT. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS? 164 00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:32,000 OH, MY GOD! TUNA JUICE! OH, MY GOD! 165 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:36,700 - HERE. 166 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,500 SWEETIE, USE A FORK. 167 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,867 - WAS THERE SOMETHIN' WRONG WITH THE OLD CAN OPENER? 168 00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:47,100 - WELL, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS CAN OPENER. 169 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,467 - OH, NO. NOTHING'S WRONG, HONEY. 170 00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,733 I MEAN, I WOULD'VE PREFERRED THE TUNA ON BREAD, 171 00:08:51,733 --> 00:08:55,067 BUT IT'S JUST AS DELICIOUS RIGHT OUT OF THE SINK. 172 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,900 - NO, RAY, THIS IS THE CAN OPENER I BOUGHT 173 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,433 BECAUSE...IT WAS BETTER. 174 00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:05,167 I MEAN, IT'S NOT STUPID, 175 00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:09,433 AND--AND I'M NOT...STUPID. 176 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:18,333 - WHAT'D I SAY? 177 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,733 - THAT BASTARD. 178 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,933 - I DON'T KNOW; ONE--ONE LITTLE COMMENT ABOUT A CAN OPENER, 179 00:09:29,933 --> 00:09:32,267 AND...SHE FREAKS OUT, 180 00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,667 LIKE THE TIME I BET THE KIDS 181 00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:38,300 THEY COULDN'T HIT THE CEILING FAN WITH A PLUM. 182 00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:45,567 - RAY, I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THE SECRET TO MARITAL BLISS. 183 00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:50,433 - AFTER YOU GIVE IT TO HIM, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME IN ON IT? 184 00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:54,167 - YOU SEE, SON, WHEN YOUR MOTHER GOT PREGNANT WITH ROBERT, 185 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:57,433 THE HORMONES TURNED HER INTO A NUT CASE. 186 00:09:57,433 --> 00:09:58,833 SHE'D CRY FOR NO REASON. 187 00:09:58,833 --> 00:10:01,633 TWO SECONDS LATER, SHE'D WANT TO CUDDLE. 188 00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,267 SHE WAS, LIKE, DEMENTED. 189 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,367 - THAT'S NOT TRUE. 190 00:10:06,367 --> 00:10:09,100 - SURE, IT WAS. YOU WERE ALWAYS GRABBIN' AT ME. 191 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:12,000 - I WAS PREGNANT WITH A 14-POUND BABY. 192 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,567 I NEEDED HELP GETTING UP. 193 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:19,000 - NONETHELESS. 194 00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,900 DID IT BOTHER ME? NO. 195 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:25,833 BECAUSE YOU CANNOT GET UPSET WITH A CRAZY PERSON. 196 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,567 I DECIDED FROM THAT DAY ON 197 00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:30,067 TO NEVER WASTE TIME TRYING TO UNDERSTAND YOUR MOTHER. 198 00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:33,933 I JUST ACCEPT SHE'S INSANE. 199 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,567 - I MUST BE. 200 00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:39,033 - YOU TWO ARE CRAZY IN LOVE. THAT'S WHAT IT IS. 201 00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,367 - OH, NO, NO. RAYMOND, DON'T GO. 202 00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:45,967 WE WERE HAVING SUCH A NICE TALK ABOUT DEBRA. 203 00:10:45,967 --> 00:10:48,400 I LOVE THAT KIND OF TALK. 204 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,167 - YEAH. I KNOW YOU DO, MA. 205 00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:51,900 - JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF SHE'S NUTS. 206 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,067 SAVES TIME. 207 00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,567 - I'M NOT ONE TO CHOOSE SIDES, 208 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,533 BUT THIS LOOKS LIKE AN EXCELLENT CAN OPENER. 209 00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:27,933 - OH, BOY. 210 00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:31,567 I THINK I NEED SOME PEPTO. 211 00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:33,967 MAY I? 212 00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,667 - SURE. GO AHEAD. 213 00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:37,267 - [burps] 214 00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:48,700 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 215 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,633 - CHANGING MY SHIRT. 216 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,600 - SORRY I SPILLED MILK ON YOUR SHIRT. 217 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:55,767 - OH. 218 00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:58,133 IT'S OKAY. 219 00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,700 I'M SORRY ABOUT THE... 220 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:01,933 YOU KNOW. 221 00:12:01,933 --> 00:12:04,000 - IT'S OKAY. FORGET IT. 222 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,100 - OKAY. 223 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:10,267 ALL RIGHT, SO... I'LL SEE YOU. 224 00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:12,267 SEE YOU LATER. 225 00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:14,067 - AREN'T YOU GONNA KISS ME GOOD-BYE? 226 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,300 - OH. YEAH. 227 00:12:17,833 --> 00:12:19,233 - YOU KNOW, RAY, 228 00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:20,900 I JUST WANT YOU TO REALLY UNDERSTAND 229 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,467 WHY I WAS UPSET ABOUT THE CAN OPENER LAST NIGHT. 230 00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:25,267 - OH, I UNDERSTAND. I KNOW WHY. 231 00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:27,967 I DO. OKAY. SO... I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 232 00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:31,000 - I--I MEAN, YOU REALLY...KNOW WHY? 233 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,667 - SURE. SURE, I KNOW. 234 00:12:32,667 --> 00:12:37,767 I...TOTALLY KNOW. 235 00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,167 - OKAY. THANKS. 236 00:12:39,167 --> 00:12:40,867 - OKAY. GOOD. 237 00:12:40,867 --> 00:12:42,833 SO SHOULD I BRING HOME A PIZZA TONIGHT OR SOMETHIN'? 238 00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:45,000 - YEAH, SURE; IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, THAT'D BE GREAT. 239 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,133 - OKAY. GOOD, GOOD. ALL RIGHT. 240 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,667 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. - OKAY. 241 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,600 - HELLO, DEARS. - HI, MA. BYE, MA. 242 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,767 - OH, RAYMOND, I'M GLAD YOU'RE STILL HERE. 243 00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:57,367 I HAVE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT FIX EVERYTHING. 244 00:12:57,367 --> 00:12:58,367 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 245 00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:01,267 - EVERYTHING'S FINE, MA. 246 00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:09,033 - WHAT IS IT, MARIE? 247 00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:11,467 WHAT IS IT? 248 00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:12,800 - IT'S--IT'S ONE OF MY OLD ONES. 249 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,367 IT'S THE KIND THAT ACTUALLY WORKS. 250 00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:19,167 - RAY? 251 00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,033 - OHHH... 252 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,633 IT'S ALL RIGHT, DEAR. 253 00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,167 WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. 254 00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:35,000 - WHAT IS THIS? 255 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,300 - DON'T BE UPSET, DEAR. 256 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:38,133 IT'S ONLY A CAN OPENER. 257 00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:39,600 - SO I'M THINKING 258 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,500 MAYBE YOU DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND, RAY, 259 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,800 WHY I WAS UPSET. 260 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,667 - AGAIN, I GOT NOTHIN' TO DO WITH THIS. 261 00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,967 LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE BROUGHT THAT THING OVER HERE. 262 00:13:48,967 --> 00:13:51,167 - SO WHAT DID YOU DO, RAY, 263 00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:52,800 RUN ACROSS THE STREET AND TELL YOUR MOM 264 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,067 WHAT A HORRIBLE WOMAN YOU'RE MARRIED TO? 265 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,767 - RAYMOND NEVER SAID "HORRIBLE." 266 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,700 - WOULD YOU STOP? 267 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,800 - MARIE, SUN'S UP, PLATE'S EMPTY. 268 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,867 WHERE ARE MY EGGS? 269 00:14:08,867 --> 00:14:10,400 - FRANK. 270 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,333 - OH, YEAH. THE CAN OPENER. 271 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:14,067 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, DEBRA. 272 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:16,500 I UNDERSTAND HORMONES. 273 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:18,400 - WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL THEM? 274 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,233 - HORMONES WAS HIS THEORY. 275 00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:22,833 IT DID SOUND LIKE YOUR REACTION TO THE CAN OPENER 276 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,833 WAS A LITTLE... DRAMATIC. 277 00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:27,333 - WOO-WOO-WOO. 278 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,767 FRANK, I CAN SEE AND HEAR YOU. 279 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,700 - HUNHH! 280 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:39,067 - YOU WERE COMPLETELY OUT OF LINE LAST NIGHT. 281 00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:40,667 - I GOTTA GET TO WORK. - HOW DARE YOU? 282 00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:42,200 NOT ONLY WERE YOU COMPLETELY WRONG, 283 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,433 BUT YOU MADE ME OUT TO BE THE CRAZY ONE. 284 00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:46,400 - HEY, DEB, I FINISHED THE PEPTO. 285 00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,200 IS THIS ABOUT ME? 286 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,133 - NO, DEAR, IT'S NOTHING. 287 00:14:57,133 --> 00:15:00,300 ALL I DID WAS BRING DEBRA MY OLD CAN OPENER. 288 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,200 - OH, RAY, JUST USE THE NEW ONE. 289 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,367 STOP BEING A JERK. 290 00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:04,867 - JERK? WHAT? WHAT? 291 00:15:04,867 --> 00:15:06,267 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT? 292 00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:07,600 - HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 293 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,267 - NOW, YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS, DEB, OKAY? 294 00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,367 RAYMOND'S A JERK. 295 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:13,967 I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY, JERK. 296 00:15:13,967 --> 00:15:15,600 ONE LITTLE DROP OF FISH JUICE, 297 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,600 AND YOU SQUEAL LIKE A STUCK PIG. 298 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,233 - YOU TOLD HIM THAT? HUH? I DID NOT DO THAT. 299 00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:24,200 AND BY THE WAY, THE WHOLE CAN DUMPED ON ME. 300 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,167 - OH, IT WAS ONE DROP, YOU BABY. 301 00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:29,100 - ONE DROP? IT WAS LIKE I STUCK MY ARM UP A TUNA. 302 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,500 - JERKBABY. 303 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,967 - SHUT UP, HUH?! WHAT--WHAT'D YOU TELL HIM? 304 00:15:39,967 --> 00:15:41,367 - I TOLD HIM THE TRUTH: 305 00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:43,133 THAT YOU COME HOME ALL, "WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 306 00:15:43,133 --> 00:15:44,267 "OH, A CAN? 307 00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,833 "HOW...MAKE... TUNA...OUT? 308 00:15:46,833 --> 00:15:48,567 "OH! OH! OH! OH! 309 00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:50,167 OH! OH! OH!" 310 00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:51,500 - HA HA HA! 311 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,133 - THAT'S ME, HUH? WELL, THIS IS YOU. 312 00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:54,633 THIS IS YOU. 313 00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:56,667 "MEH MEH MEH MEH 314 00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:59,367 MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH!" 315 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:06,467 - WAIT A MINUTE. THAT SOUNDS LIKE MARIE. 316 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:08,300 - YEAH, THAT'S REALLY GREAT, RAY, COMIN' HOME 317 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,867 AND GIVIN' ME CRAP ABOUT A CAN OPENER. 318 00:16:09,867 --> 00:16:11,100 - I DIDN'T GIVE YOU CRAP, 319 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,233 AND IT'S A STUPID CAN OPENER! 320 00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:13,300 - IT'S NOT STUPID! 321 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,533 IT GETS RID OF SHARP EDGES! 322 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:15,467 - AND THE TUNA! 323 00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:16,500 - ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT. - NO! 324 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,233 - YOU SHUT UP! - HEY! 325 00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:23,067 NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME. 326 00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,567 WE HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY HERE 327 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,167 FOR SOME REAL PERSONAL GROWTH 328 00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,467 THROUGH ACTIVE DIALOGUE. 329 00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:29,667 - [snoring] 330 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:33,700 - STOP IT, DAD! 331 00:16:37,333 --> 00:16:40,467 NOW, THE TWO OF YOU HAVE TO JUST COME OUT 332 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,400 AND SAY WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERIN' YOU UNDERNEATH 333 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,233 AND GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN AND DEAL WITH IT. 334 00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:46,167 'CAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED 335 00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:47,600 IN MY MANY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE 336 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,600 WITH DOMESTIC DISPUTES, 337 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,267 IT IS THIS-- 338 00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:54,567 IT'S NEVER JUST ABOUT THE CAN OPENER. 339 00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:58,533 - YEAH. SOMETIMES IT'S ABOUT A JAR OF FAT. 340 00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:03,133 - HOW COULD YOU MENTION THAT? 341 00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:04,333 - I'LL MENTION IT. 342 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:08,333 YOU WENT NUTS OVER NOTHIN'. 343 00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:09,800 - I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO GO NUTS 344 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,467 WITH YOU FOR A HUSBAND. 345 00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:13,667 - DON'T GO NUTS. JUST GO. 346 00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:14,667 - OHH! 347 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,100 - OKAY. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WAIT. 348 00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:18,767 WHAT JAR OF FAT? 349 00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:21,700 - UNHHH... - AHHH... 350 00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:25,733 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT JAR OF FAT. 351 00:17:25,733 --> 00:17:28,267 IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 352 00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:32,167 IT WAS FAT FROM PANCETTA AND GOLDEN BROWN SAUSAGE. 353 00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:35,367 YOU'D HAVE TO BE A COOK TO UNDERSTAND. 354 00:17:36,733 --> 00:17:38,767 BUT IT WAS MONTHS OF CAREFULLY SELECTING 355 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,367 ONLY THE BEST DRIPPINGS 356 00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:43,533 TO PREPARE MEALS FOR IL DUCE. 357 00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:47,100 - YEAH, YOU MADE ALL THOSE MEALS JUST FOR ME, 358 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,033 AND THEN YOU WENT OUT JOGGING. 359 00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,600 - THAT WAS MY KITCHEN! 360 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,700 YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO GO IN THERE AND THROW OUT MY FAT. 361 00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:54,633 - THAT JAR WAS FOR MY COINS! I NEEDED THAT! 362 00:17:54,633 --> 00:17:56,233 - YOU'RE SELFISH! - FAT COLLECTOR! 363 00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:58,667 - OH, YOU NEVER APPRECIATED ME, EVER! 364 00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,967 YOU NEVER, EVER APPRECIATED ME! 365 00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:03,733 I WOULD WORK MY FINGERS TO THE BONE ALL DAY WITH THE KIDS, 366 00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,833 WITH THE COOKING AND THE CLEANING AND THE LAUNDRY. 367 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:08,233 AND THEN YOU'D WALTZ IN WITH YOUR LIST OF DEMANDS 368 00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:09,700 AND NOT EVEN A THANK YOU. 369 00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:13,267 - THAT'S RIGHT. - DEBRA UNDERSTANDS. 370 00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:16,567 - YOU WANTED A THANK YOU? WHERE WAS MY THANK YOU? 371 00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:17,667 I WALTZED IN, HUH? 372 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:19,567 I DRAGGED MY ASS HOME EVERY DAY 373 00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,833 AFTER 10 HOURS STUCK IN A SUIT, 374 00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:23,700 STUCK IN AN OFFICE, 375 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,400 STUCK IN A CAR. 376 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,700 AND IF I NEEDED COINS TO PAY THE TOLLS 377 00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:30,833 THAT GOT ME TO THAT JOB THAT PAID FOR THAT MEAT 378 00:18:30,833 --> 00:18:32,600 THAT MADE THAT FAT, 379 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,333 THEN I'LL DUMP IT OUT WHENEVER I WANT, 380 00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,433 AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! 381 00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,167 - THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DON'T CARE. 382 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,567 YOU HAVE NEVER CARED 383 00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:51,500 ABOUT HOW HARD I WORK JUST TO SERVE YOU. 384 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,067 - HEY, I DON'T HAVE TO CARE. 385 00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:54,300 THAT'S YOUR JOB. 386 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:20,733 - ON THE OTHER HAND... 387 00:19:20,733 --> 00:19:23,667 SOMETIMES IT CAN BE ABOUT THE CAN OPENER. 388 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,033 - THAT'S WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY. 389 00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:31,533 - YEAH. YEAH. ME TOO. 390 00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:33,400 YEAH. - I'M SORRY. 391 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:37,033 - YEAH. ME TOO. SORRY. 392 00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,933 - THAT'S IT? 393 00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:41,133 "SORRY"? 394 00:19:41,133 --> 00:19:44,300 THAT'S ALL YOU GOT? 395 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,367 AT LEAST WHEN WE FIGHT, STUFF COMES OUT. 396 00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:49,167 - SOME OF IT WILL BE COMING OUT 397 00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:50,567 WHEN WE GET HOME. 398 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,200 LET'S GO. 399 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,067 - COMING. 400 00:19:57,967 --> 00:20:00,300 - SO THAT'S MY JOB, FRANK? 401 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,667 - YEAH. I--I DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE BAD AT IT. 402 00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:07,200 - THANK YOU! 403 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,200 I'M STILL MAD AT YOU. 404 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,133 - WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 405 00:20:11,133 --> 00:20:14,933 AT LEAST IT'S NOT ABOUT A CAN OPENER. 406 00:20:14,933 --> 00:20:17,433 - [chuckling] A CAN OPENER. 407 00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:21,800 - GOOD LUCK, RAY! 408 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,433 OOH OOH OOH OOH. 409 00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:25,733 - I CAN STILL SEE YOU, FRANK. 410 00:20:36,933 --> 00:20:41,000 - YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT, UH, AFTER AN ARGUMENT? 411 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,867 IT'S THE WAY WE MAKE UP. [chuckles] 412 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,467 - CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHIN', RAY? 413 00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:48,000 YOU DON'T THINK IT'S MY JOB 414 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,067 JUST TO COOK AND CLEAN FOR YOU, DO YOU? 415 00:20:51,867 --> 00:20:53,000 - YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 416 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,400 WE ALREADY HAD THE ARGUMENT. 417 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,700 THIS IS THE MAKING-UP PART. 418 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:58,833 - NO, NO. IT'S JUST-- 419 00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:00,533 NO, WHAT YOUR FATHER SAID TO YOUR MOTHER. 420 00:21:00,533 --> 00:21:01,900 THAT'S WHAT WAS BOTHERING ME 421 00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,200 ABOUT THAT WHOLE CAN OPENER THING. 422 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,667 I MEAN, I JUST FEEL 423 00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,567 WITH, LIKE, EVERYTHING I HAVE TO DO AROUND HERE, 424 00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:08,800 SOMETIMES YOU KINDA TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. 425 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,000 - I DON'T. 426 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,200 I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO. 427 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,700 I DO, AND, YOU KNOW, 428 00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:15,733 I JUST HOPE THAT YOU DON'T TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. 429 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,000 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 430 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,833 - UH...AHH, IT'S NOTHIN'. 431 00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:20,733 - NO. REALLY, I WANT TO KNOW. 432 00:21:20,733 --> 00:21:22,300 - WELL, IT'S JUST... 433 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:24,233 LIKE, SOMETIMES I FEEL WHEN I COME TO BED THAT... 434 00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:25,700 I'M JUST SOMEBODY 435 00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:27,467 WHO'S HERE TO LAY NEXT TO YOU. 436 00:21:27,467 --> 00:21:28,767 YOU KNOW? 437 00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:31,900 AND...AND THAT'S ALL. 438 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:33,967 - YEAH, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, RAY. 439 00:21:33,967 --> 00:21:36,500 - NO, 'CAUSE I NEED TO FEEL LIKE I'M MORE THAN THAT. 440 00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,000 - YOU SHOULD STOP TALKIN'. 441 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,167 - OKAY. I MEAN, IT'S JUST NICE TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED. 442 00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:42,667 - YEAH, YEAH, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.