1 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:05,867 [door opens] 2 00:00:05,867 --> 00:00:09,000 - HELLO? 3 00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:10,667 [doorbell rings] 4 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,667 [ringing continues] 5 00:01:19,667 --> 00:01:21,600 - I'M COMING. 6 00:01:23,933 --> 00:01:26,033 - HELLO, DEAR. 7 00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:27,367 YOU BUSY? 8 00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:31,300 - UM, I WAS JUST UPSTAIRS FOLDING LAUNDRY. 9 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,933 I'M TELLING YOU, IT NEVER STOPS. 10 00:01:32,933 --> 00:01:35,667 - WELL, GOOD FOR YOU. 11 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,933 - SO DO YOU NEED ANYTHING? 12 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:43,267 - OH, YES, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAVE ANY NASAL SPRAY. 13 00:01:43,267 --> 00:01:48,133 SEE, FRANK HAS GOT-- UH, UM...OH. 14 00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:52,000 WHAT'S THIS? 15 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,367 - OH, IT'S A GUIDEBOOK 16 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:55,667 ON HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX. 17 00:01:55,667 --> 00:01:58,400 - WHY? 18 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,167 - ACTUALLY, ALLY'S ALREADY STARTING TO ASK QUESTIONS. 19 00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:02,967 - OH, REALLY? - YUP. 20 00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:05,000 - WELL, MAY I ASK WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE 21 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,000 THAT SHE NEEDS TO ASK QUESTIONS? 22 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:10,867 - WHAT? NOTHING. 23 00:02:10,867 --> 00:02:15,133 - WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY MAKE ROBES THAT COVER UP A PERSON. 24 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,833 - WHAT? 25 00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:21,367 - YES, WITH A ZIPPER. 26 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:24,133 - YOU KNOW, I HAVE--I HAVE TO GET BACK TO MY LAUNDRY. 27 00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:26,200 - NO, NO, I'M REALLY SERIOUS, DEBRA. 28 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,400 WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO INTRODUCE 29 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,200 A SUBJECT MATTER OF THIS KIND 30 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,300 TO AN INNOCENT CHILD? 31 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,533 - OH, LISTEN, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY 32 00:02:32,533 --> 00:02:34,267 WE'RE TAKING CARE OF THIS, 33 00:02:34,267 --> 00:02:37,933 BECAUSE EVENTUALLY, SHE MIGHT ASK YOU A QUESTION. 34 00:02:37,933 --> 00:02:39,733 - BUT I'M HER GRANDMOTHER. 35 00:02:39,733 --> 00:02:42,667 - YES, BUT YOU'RE A PERSON; YOU'RE A WOMAN. 36 00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:46,300 - OH, I DON'T LIKE THIS, DEBRA. 37 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,367 - SHE--SHE MIGHT ASK ABOUT YOU AND GRANDPA. 38 00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:55,167 - WELL, IF SHE DOES, I WILL CHANGE THE SUBJECT 39 00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:59,333 AND GIVE HER A COOKIE. 40 00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:00,767 - IS THAT WHAT YOU DO WHEN GRANDPA ASKS? 41 00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,167 [laughs] I'M SORRY. 42 00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:10,067 - [laughs] 43 00:03:10,067 --> 00:03:13,033 YES. NOTHING'S OFF-LIMITS. 44 00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:15,167 - OH, MARIE, I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING. 45 00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:18,733 - ANYWAY, HE DOESN'T ASK ANYMORE. 46 00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:21,867 - REALLY? - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 47 00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:25,900 THERE ARE A LOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN A MARRIAGE THAN THAT, 48 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,433 LIKE FRIENDSHIP AND TRUST 49 00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:32,833 AND--AND KEEPING A NEAT HOUSE. 50 00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:33,933 - OH. 51 00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:36,700 OH, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 52 00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:40,700 - DEARIE, PEOPLE OUR AGE AREN'T PREOCCUPIED WITH THESE THINGS. 53 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:43,633 - SO HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU'VE HAD... 54 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:50,333 SINCE YOU STARTED FOCUSING ON THE NEATNESS OF THE HOUSE? 55 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:57,267 - I-I-I DON'T KNOW, 20 YEARS. 56 00:03:57,267 --> 00:04:00,167 - 20 YEARS? YOU HAVEN'T-- 57 00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:01,867 - NO, NO, I WOULDN'T SAY NEVER. 58 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:06,800 I'D SAY... OH, ONCE A YEAR. 59 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,833 - ONCE A YEAR FOR 20 YEARS? 60 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:12,100 - YEAH, ON AVERAGE. 61 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,100 I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, DEAR. 62 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:21,100 SOME DAY, THIS HOUSE WILL BE A LOT NEATER. 63 00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:50,733 - GOOD NIGHT. 64 00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:56,433 - RAY. 65 00:04:56,433 --> 00:05:00,400 - WHAT? WHAT? I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS. 66 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,867 WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 67 00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:03,100 - WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 68 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:06,067 - YEAH, I WAS WATCHING THAT. 69 00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,367 [TV playing] 70 00:05:07,367 --> 00:05:10,000 - WHY DIDN'T YOU RESPOND TO ME? 71 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,567 - I SAID "GOOD NIGHT." 72 00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:14,900 - HONEY, I'M TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION. 73 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,467 - ALL RIGHT, CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME ONE SECOND? 74 00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:18,500 ALL RIGHT? THIS IS GOOD. 75 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:24,800 - IT'S A SCOTTISH GUY THROWING A LOG. 76 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,967 - FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP. 77 00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:30,600 - WOULD YOU TURN IT OFF, PLEASE? 78 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,033 - ALL RIGHT. 79 00:05:36,133 --> 00:05:37,533 - [sighs] 80 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:44,133 WE'RE TURNING INTO YOUR PARENTS. 81 00:05:46,933 --> 00:05:50,067 - OKAY, WHICH ONE AM I? 82 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,067 - I'VE GOT SOME NEWS FOR YOU, RAY. 83 00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:56,300 YOUR SEX DRIVE IS DIMINISHING. 84 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:59,433 - WELL, IF YOU'RE MY MOM, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? 85 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,667 - I'M SERIOUS, RAY. 86 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,333 LOOK, I USED TO HAVE TO FEND YOU OFF EVERY NIGHT. 87 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,267 NOW IT'S DOWN TO LESS THAN ONCE A WEEK. 88 00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:14,000 - NO, IT'S NOT. - YES, IT IS. 89 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,000 - NO, IT'S NOT. - YES, IT IS, RAY. 90 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,400 - OH, YEAH? 91 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,500 WELL, MAYBE IF I'M TRYING LESS, 92 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,400 IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THE REJECTION, HUH? 93 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,733 YEAH, I'M LIKE THE MONKEY WHO GETS SHOCKED 94 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:31,067 EVERY TIME HE REACHES FOR THE PELLET. 95 00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:36,200 - DO YOU REALIZE THAT FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS, 96 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,900 YOUR PARENTS HAVE ONLY HAD SEX ONCE A YEAR? 97 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,933 - WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU THAT? 98 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,133 - YOUR MOTHER. 99 00:06:42,133 --> 00:06:44,667 - WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 100 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:47,000 WHY? WHY? WHY DID YOU TALK ABOUT THAT? 101 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,600 - 'CAUSE SHE SAW THE SEX BOOK, 102 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,067 AND WE JUST STARTED TALKING, AND SHE TOLD ME. 103 00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:54,133 - WELL, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME? 104 00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:56,467 - BECAUSE YOU'RE TURNING INTO YOUR FATHER. 105 00:06:56,467 --> 00:06:59,067 LISTEN, THINGS STARTED SLOWING DOWN FOR THEM 106 00:06:59,067 --> 00:07:02,767 WHEN THEY WERE THE AGE THAT WE ARE NOW. 107 00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:06,700 - WE'RE NOT THEM. 108 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:10,233 - I JUST KISSED YOU, RUBBED YOUR CHEST, 109 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:12,167 KISSED YOU AGAIN IN AN IMPURE MANNER. 110 00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:15,300 YOU NEVER TOOK YOUR EYES OFF THE TV. 111 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:19,867 TEN YEARS AGO, ALL I HAD TO DO WAS BE AWAKE. 112 00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:23,000 SOMETIMES NOT EVEN THAT. 113 00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:30,600 - I'M STILL--I'M STILL... 114 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,367 A SEX MACHINE. 115 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,967 COME ON, IT WAS JUST TODAY. 116 00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:39,133 YOU KNOW, TODAY, IT WAS A LONG DAY, 117 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:42,267 AND THE KIDS-- I HAD A HEAVY MEAL. 118 00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:45,600 YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T NEED EXCUSES. 119 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,400 COME ON, LET'S GO, RIGHT NOW, ME AND YOU. 120 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,733 LET'S GO, MANO A WOMANO. 121 00:07:50,733 --> 00:07:52,300 - YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT 122 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,733 JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO PROVE SOMETHING. 123 00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,467 - I DON'T WANT TO PROVE SOMETHING. 124 00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:57,700 I JUST LOVE TO SEX YOU UP. 125 00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,200 - ALL RIGHT, STOP IT, RAY. - NO. 126 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,100 - YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER WANT TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING. 127 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,167 - I-I'M READY NOW. 128 00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:13,000 THE MONKEY NEVER LEARNS. 129 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,900 MORE CHEESEBALLS? 130 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,533 - YUP, AND KEEP 'EM COMING. 131 00:08:24,533 --> 00:08:26,367 [sporting event playing on TV] 132 00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:29,533 - IT'S FUNNY HOW YOU AND ME BOTH LIKE CHEESEBALLS. 133 00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:32,667 - YEAH, I GUESS. 134 00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:34,133 - YUP. 135 00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:37,267 AND THE LADIES. 136 00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:41,467 - THE LADIES? 137 00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:46,667 - YEAH, THE BARONE BOYS, WE LOVE THOSE LADIES. 138 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,667 HEY, ANY ACTION LATELY? 139 00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:55,233 - W-W-WHAT DO-- WHAT DO YOU MEAN ACTION? 140 00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:57,133 YOU ASKING ABOUT ME AND AMY? 141 00:08:57,133 --> 00:08:59,033 - NO, NO, NOT ABOUT YOU AND AMY. 142 00:08:59,033 --> 00:09:02,100 YOU KNOW, JUST... FREQUENCY. 143 00:09:03,933 --> 00:09:06,633 - FREQUENCY WITH ME AND AMY? 144 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,200 I DON'T THINK AMY WOULD APPRECIATE 145 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,667 HER NAME COMING UP IN THIS TYPE OF... 146 00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,533 VENUE. 147 00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:16,567 - ALL RIGHT, SO DON'T USE THE NAME AMY, YOU KNOW? 148 00:09:16,567 --> 00:09:21,567 JUST TELL ME HOW OFTEN BETWEEN YOU AND "GAIL." 149 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,600 - COULD IT NOT BE GAIL? 150 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,100 BECAUSE I HAVE A SUPERIOR NAMED GAIL. 151 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:33,400 SHE'S A BEAST. 152 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,700 - ALL RIGHT, CALL HER WHATEVER YOU WANT. 153 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:39,000 I JUST-- - VANESSA. 154 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,433 - OKAY, FINE. 155 00:09:41,433 --> 00:09:43,933 SAY, ROB, HOW ARE THINGS BETWEEN YOU AND VANESSA? 156 00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:48,433 - OH, PRETTY GOOD. 157 00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:50,267 - YEAH? 158 00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,133 LIKE, HOW OFTEN WOULD YOU SAY 159 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,867 YOU AND VANESSA, YOU KNOW? 160 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:57,300 - YOU KNOW, TO BE HONEST, IT'S NOT LIKE IT USED TO BE. 161 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,200 - WHY? WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER? 162 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,600 - WELL, NO, NOTHING. 163 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,967 IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, YOU GET OLDER, 164 00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:03,133 AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. 165 00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:04,600 IT'S NATURAL. 166 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,000 - YEAH, YEAH. 167 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,033 - WHY ARE YOU ASKING? 168 00:10:08,033 --> 00:10:09,167 - OH, NOTHING, NOTHING. 169 00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:11,600 - OH, WAIT A MINUTE. 170 00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:16,167 RAYMOND, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? 171 00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:20,067 - WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR SNACKS? 172 00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:21,600 - CHEESEBALLS, CHEESEBALLS. 173 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,867 - I'M IN. 174 00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:24,500 YOU BELIEVE THIS GAME? 175 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:28,667 OH, HOLY HELL, SOMEBODY MAKE A TACKLE! 176 00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:32,400 IT'S LIKE THEY'RE NOT WEARING CUPS. 177 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,267 - SO, RAYMOND, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? 178 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,800 - HEY, ROBERT, THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD GAME. 179 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,400 WE SHOULD JUST SHUT UP AND WATCH IT, ALL RIGHT? 180 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,867 - WHAT PROBLEM? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 181 00:10:40,867 --> 00:10:42,367 - NOTHING, DAD. NOTHING. 182 00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:43,567 - WELL, SOUNDS LIKE RAYMOND IS HAVING 183 00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:46,567 A LITTLE TROUBLE SOUTH OF THE BORDER. 184 00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:50,200 - OH, YEAH? 185 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,333 MR. JOHNSON NOT SHOWING UP FOR WORK? 186 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,067 - THAT'S A GOOD ONE. THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 187 00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:03,333 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 188 00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:04,833 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR? 189 00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,133 - WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER? 190 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,067 YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A LOOK AT IT? 191 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,533 - OH, MY GOD! 192 00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:13,133 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, ALL RIGHT? 193 00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:16,067 - RAY, LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK DAD WHAT YOU ASKED ME? 194 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:17,333 - WOULD YOU STOP? 195 00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:18,733 - WHAT? WE'RE ALL MEN. 196 00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:21,367 DAD, LOOK, HOW MANY TIMES WOULD YOU SAY 197 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:24,500 THAT YOU AND MOM-- - OH, SOMEBODY KILL ME. 198 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:29,500 - AND LOOK, BY THE WAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL HER MOM. 199 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,767 - WE GOT A SYSTEM. YOU CAN PICK ANY NAME. 200 00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,133 - ANOTHER NAME? 201 00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:35,033 - YEAH, THAT WAY IT'S NOT EMBARRASSING. 202 00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:38,633 - YEAH, I THINK WE'RE PAST THAT. 203 00:11:38,633 --> 00:11:42,300 - HARRIET LICHTMAN. 204 00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:52,133 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK, DAD, FORGET IT. 205 00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,233 YOU DON'T GOT TO ANSWER. 206 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,667 I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER, ALL RIGHT? 207 00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,500 YOUR SEX DRIVE DIMINISHES AS YOU GET OLDER. 208 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,867 - HEY, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. - WHAT? 209 00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:02,467 - LOOK, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT HARRIET LICHTMAN, 210 00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:05,067 BUT AS FAR AS YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE CONCERNED, 211 00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:09,033 THE SAINTS ARE STILL MARCHING IN. 212 00:12:09,033 --> 00:12:12,367 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXAGGERATE, DAD. 213 00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:14,533 - HEY, IN THIS DEPARTMENT, I SPEAK THE TRUTH. 214 00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:17,067 - ALL RIGHT, YEAH, WHATEVER YOU SAY. 215 00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:18,933 - NOT WHATEVER I SAY, WHAT IS. 216 00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:21,533 YOU CAN SET YOUR CLOCK BY ME. 217 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,667 - YEAH, IF YOU SET IT EVERY 20 YEARS. 218 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:30,833 - HEY, HEY, HEY, A LITTLE RESPECT. 219 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,800 - LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL RIGHT. 220 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,600 LISTEN, SONNY, IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE 221 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,667 MAKING THE WEE-WACKY-WOO-HOO... 222 00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:43,500 YOU DID NOT GET THAT FROM ME. 223 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,733 - YOU WANT TO BE HONEST? LET'S BE HONEST. 224 00:12:45,733 --> 00:12:48,167 MOM TOLD DEBRA HOW MUCH THINGS HAVE SLOWED DOWN 225 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:49,667 BETWEEN YOU TWO. 226 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:52,733 - WELL, I MIGHT NOT BE WHERE I WAS AT YOUR AGE, 227 00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:57,400 BUT I THINK A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK IS PRETTY GOOD. 228 00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:13,933 - COUPLE TIMES A WEEK? 229 00:13:13,933 --> 00:13:18,067 - HOLY CRAP. 230 00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,467 - THAT'S RIGHT. 231 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:21,500 AND NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 232 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:26,100 ALL THIS TALK HAS KIND OF PUT ME IN THE MOOD. 233 00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:40,333 - WE SHOULD BE HAVING SEX THREE TIMES A WEEK. 234 00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:42,400 - WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM? 235 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,533 - THESE ARE THE NUMBERS, MAN. 236 00:13:47,567 --> 00:13:49,767 IF WE WANT TO BE DOING IT TWICE A WEEK 20 YEARS FROM NOW, 237 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:52,767 WE SHOULD BE DOING IT THREE TIMES A WEEK NOW. 238 00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:53,867 - WHAT? 239 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,700 - MY FATHER TOLD ME HIS STATS. 240 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:59,867 - YOU TALKED TO YOUR FATHER ABOUT THEIR SEX LIFE? 241 00:13:59,867 --> 00:14:01,233 - YES, I DID, AND LISTEN, 242 00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:02,800 EVERYTHING MY MOTHER TOLD YOU YESTERDAY, 243 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,467 LIES, OKAY? 244 00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:06,267 MY FATHER TOLD ME THE TRUTH. 245 00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:07,900 IT'S THE EXACT OPPOSITE. 246 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,100 TWICE A WEEK. 247 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,767 - NO WAY! - YES! YES! 248 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:11,933 - NO! - YES! 249 00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,367 - NO, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. 250 00:14:13,367 --> 00:14:15,767 YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME, FLAT OUT, ONCE A YEAR. 251 00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:18,433 - AND SINCE WHEN IS SHE EVER STRAIGHT WITH YOU? 252 00:14:19,767 --> 00:14:21,567 - WELL, SHE DIDN'T LIE ABOUT THIS, 253 00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:25,233 A-AND FRANK WOULD LIE ESPECIALLY ABOUT THIS. 254 00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:27,000 - WHY? WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? 255 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,033 - BECAUSE HE'S A MAN. 256 00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:32,267 - SO? SO WHAT? I'M A MAN. 257 00:14:32,267 --> 00:14:37,967 - YEAH, WELL, YOU LIE TO ME ABOUT OUR OWN SEX LIFE. 258 00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:39,667 - WHEN? WHEN DO I DO THAT? 259 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:43,133 - WHAT DOES "ALL NIGHT LONG" MEAN TO YOU? 260 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:51,233 - IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH. 261 00:14:51,233 --> 00:14:53,333 NOBODY REALLY MEANS THAT. 262 00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:55,567 - MEN LIE, AND YOUR FATHER'S A LIAR. 263 00:14:55,567 --> 00:14:58,533 - THAT IS NOT TRUE. MY MOTHER'S THE LIAR. 264 00:14:58,533 --> 00:15:00,600 - RAY, SHE DIDN'T LIE TO ME ABOUT THIS. 265 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,800 SHE OPENED UP TO ME. 266 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,167 - OPENED UP? 267 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:07,367 SHE PLAYED YOU LIKE A HAWAIIAN ON A UKULELE. 268 00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:08,933 - OH, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE, YOU KNOW THAT? 269 00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:11,267 YOUR FATHER MAKES UP A STORY, AND YOU JUST BELIEVE IT. 270 00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:12,700 - BECAUSE IT'S TRUE! 271 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:13,967 - LISTEN, WHEN YOUR MOM AND I TALKED, 272 00:15:13,967 --> 00:15:15,300 SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE-- 273 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:18,467 - [singing] LA LA-LA LA 274 00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:20,767 - RAY. - [singing] LA LA-LA LA 275 00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:21,933 - RAY, I'M TELLING YOU. 276 00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:25,067 - [singing] LA-LA-LA LA 277 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:26,567 COME ON. 278 00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,233 ALL RIGHT. LOOK, IT'S ALREADY SATURDAY. 279 00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:32,367 WE GOT TO DO IT THREE TIMES TOMORROW. 280 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,500 HI, MRS. SCARPULA. 281 00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:46,100 - OKAY, LISTEN, I GOT TO ASK BOTH OF YOU A QUESTION. 282 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,467 - SURE, DEAR. 283 00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,267 WHAT IS IT? 284 00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:57,067 - UH... 285 00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:58,933 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 286 00:15:58,933 --> 00:16:00,233 - UH... 287 00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:02,800 - SHE--SHE WANTED TO ASK US SOMETHING. 288 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,967 WHAT IS IT, DEAR? 289 00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:05,200 - UM... 290 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,067 - YES, WHAT IS IT, DEAR? 291 00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:14,233 - WE'VE BEEN GETTING SOME CONFLICTING REPORTS, 292 00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:18,133 AND, UH, WHAT WE WOULD BOTH LIKE TO KNOW IS 293 00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:23,400 HOW OFTEN DO THE TWO OF YOU ACTUALLY... 294 00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:27,567 - GO TO THE THEATER? 295 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,333 - HAVE SEX. 296 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,600 - [laughs] 297 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,567 OH, THIS IS AS BAD AS IT GETS. 298 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,600 - OH, MY GOD! 299 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,867 - MARIE, LISTEN, I WOULD NEVER ASK EXCEPT-- 300 00:16:45,867 --> 00:16:49,367 - DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF A PRIVATE CONVERSATION? 301 00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:51,400 - YES, OF COURSE I DO, BUT FRANK SAID SOMETHING THAT-- 302 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,400 - WHAT DID YOU SAY? - HEY, I DIDN'T TALK TO HER. 303 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,933 THANKS FOR BLABBING MY BUSINESS. 304 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,867 - WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SO MAD ABOUT? 305 00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:00,033 YOU WERE PROUD OF IT. 306 00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:01,067 JUST SAY THE NUMBER. 307 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,833 - NO. DON'T YOU DARE! 308 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:06,000 HAVE YOU NO BOUNDARIES? 309 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,567 - LOOK, I DON'T CARE. 310 00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,200 IF IT'S OUT IN THE OPEN, IT'S OUT IN THE OPEN. 311 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,267 TWICE A WEEK. - OH, FRANK! 312 00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:12,967 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? DON'T LIE LIKE THAT. 313 00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:14,567 - OKAY, SEE? 314 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,300 - HEY, WHO'S LYING? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 315 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,700 - WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION? 316 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:22,200 - COME ON, MARIE, I'VE GOT A REPUTATION HERE. 317 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,933 WORD OF MOUTH IS EVERYTHING IN THIS BUSINESS. 318 00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:28,133 - I HAPPEN TO BE A LADY, FRANK. 319 00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:29,633 - [titters] - OOH! 320 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,567 - [laughs] 321 00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:37,567 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MARIE? 322 00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:39,467 IS IT TRUE? 323 00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:42,767 - YES, IT'S TRUE! 324 00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:44,267 - WHAT? 325 00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:55,367 - SEE? 326 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:58,633 EWW. 327 00:17:58,633 --> 00:18:01,567 - WHY DID YOU TELL ME IT WAS ONLY ONCE A YEAR? 328 00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:04,300 - BECAUSE THIS WHOLE TOPIC IS IMPROPER. 329 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,967 WHAT WE DO IN OUR BEDROOM IS OUR OWN BUSINESS, 330 00:18:05,967 --> 00:18:09,300 AND I PREFER NOT TO BE KNOWN AS THE WHORE OF LYNBROOK. 331 00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:17,200 - WE CAN MOVE FROM LYNBROOK. 332 00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:31,567 - YOU KNOW, I DON'T UNDERSTAND, MARIE. 333 00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:33,567 WHAT ARE YOU SO ASHAMED OF? 334 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,700 - SHE'S ASHAMED TO ADMIT SHE LIKES IT. 335 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,800 - OH, FRANK! 336 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,433 HOW DO YOU KNOW I LIKE IT? 337 00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:42,067 - WELL, WHO WOULDN'T LIKE IT? 338 00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:44,333 WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT, MARIE? 339 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:45,933 - YES, IT'S TRUE. 340 00:18:45,933 --> 00:18:48,400 I ENJOY MY SEX LIFE. 341 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,167 ALL RIGHT? OKAY. 342 00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:54,333 I MEAN, FORGIVE ME, BUT IN MY DAY, 343 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,933 A WOMAN DIDN'T DISCUSS THESE THINGS. 344 00:18:56,933 --> 00:18:58,533 I MEAN, SEX WAS A WIFELY DUTY, 345 00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:01,000 AND THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS 346 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,967 THAT YOUR FATHER HAPPENS TO BE... 347 00:19:03,967 --> 00:19:06,767 VERY COMPETENT. 348 00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,167 A-A-AND IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I'M A WOMAN, 349 00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:15,567 AND I HAVE NEEDS LIKE ANY OTHER WOMAN. 350 00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:18,067 MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE ASHAMED OF SEX, 351 00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:21,600 BECAUSE IT'S A VERY NATURAL PART OF LIFE. 352 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,500 AND IF I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO STILL ENJOY 353 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:28,600 THE PLEASURES OF IT, THEN I'M GOING TO. 354 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,700 - OH, GOD. 355 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:49,067 - AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU CAME OVER? 356 00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:50,500 - FRANK, TELL THE TRUTH. 357 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,767 IT'S NOT TWICE A WEEK. 358 00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:54,233 - WELL, GIVE OR TAKE. 359 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:57,600 THE POINT IS, WE'RE NOT DEAD. 360 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,867 - YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, 361 00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:04,033 BUT I ACTUALLY WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. 362 00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:05,700 - GO AHEAD, DEAR. 363 00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:09,567 - HOW CAN YOU TWO BE SO... 364 00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:14,367 SHOULDN'T YOU TWO BE TIRED? 365 00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,100 - WHAT'S THERE TO BE TIRED ABOUT? 366 00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:17,433 I DON'T WORK ANYMORE. 367 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:21,167 WHAT ELSE DO I GOT TO DO? 368 00:20:21,167 --> 00:20:24,100 - AND YOU'RE FORGETTING THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THE SEX. 369 00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:26,433 - OH, GOD. 370 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,767 - THE KIDS ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE. 371 00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:30,400 [both laugh] 372 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,333 - YEAH, FOR YEARS, YOU WERE DRAGGING US DOWN. 373 00:20:36,967 --> 00:20:38,367 - YOU REMEMBER THE NIGHT 374 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,567 WHEN ROBBIE WENT TO HIS NEW APARTMENT? 375 00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:43,967 - [laughs] 376 00:20:43,967 --> 00:20:45,900 - OKAY, COME ON, HONEY. 377 00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:49,233 I THINK THERE'S A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH WITH OUR NAME ON IT. 378 00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:55,467 HEY, UH, DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONAL, 379 00:20:55,467 --> 00:20:58,567 BUT FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS, NO EYE CONTACT. 380 00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:09,367 - SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 381 00:21:09,367 --> 00:21:13,700 - OH, STOP IT, FRANK. I'M TIRED. 382 00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:14,700 - ALL RIGHT. 383 00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:16,567 THE SOUP'S GOOD. 384 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,800 - SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 385 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,333 - I JUST--I WANT TO, 386 00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:31,700 BUT THERE'S STILL THESE PICTURES IN MY HEAD. 387 00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:33,133 - YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO, 388 00:21:33,133 --> 00:21:35,033 YOU JUST SHAKE YOUR HEAD LIKE AN ETCH-A-SKETCH. 389 00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:36,533 [groans] 390 00:21:39,967 --> 00:21:41,167 - WHAT WAS THAT? 391 00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,567 - OH. - WAS THAT SOMETHING? 392 00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,533 - THE KIDS? 393 00:21:44,533 --> 00:21:47,500 - NO, MAYBE NOT. 394 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,167 - MOMMY! 395 00:21:49,167 --> 00:21:50,567 [both groan] 396 00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:51,867 - OKAY, I'LL GO. 397 00:21:51,867 --> 00:21:53,100 - THANKS. 398 00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:54,500 14 YEARS TILL COLLEGE. 399 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,533 - YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.