- HEY. - HEY.
- HOW WAS YOUR CLASS? - OH, IT WAS GOOD, REALLY GOOD.
- GOOD. ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GO.
OH, LISTEN, THE PARKERS SAID THE PARTY'S GONNA BE OVER AT 2:00,
SO YOU CAN PICK UP THE KIDS ANYTIME AFTER THAT.
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
- OKAY.
- WHAT WAS THAT? - NOTHING.
YOU SAID "GOOD-BYE," SO YOU KNOW, GOOD-BYE.
- OH, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- BYE.
- GOOD-BYE.
I'M GOING GOLFING.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
- OH, IT'S NOT FAIR.
YOU KNOW I LOVE GOLFING.
I DON'T GET TO GOLF VERY OFTEN.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
IT'S PROBABLY GONNA RAIN. - YEAH.
- HEY, NEMO, PIZZA READY?
- LOOK AT THIS.
- AH...
- WHAT THE HELL?
- OH, HEY. HEY, GUYS.
- HEY, MORON, WHERE WERE YOU TODAY?
- WHOA, WHOA, WHAT ARE YOU-- HOW COME YOU'RE NOT GOLFIN'?
- WE WAITED FOR YOUR BIG NOSE FOR AN HOUR.
THEN WE COULDN'T PLAY BECAUSE A TOURNAMENT WAS STARTING.
- NICE WORK, BIG NOSE.
- AH, MAN, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
I JUST HAD TO DO SOMETHING AT THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW.
I JUST HAD TO...I HAD TO... HAD TO DO THAT SOMETHING.
- WE KEPT CALLING.
WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP THE PHONE?
- YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I COULDN'T HEAR
BECAUSE I WAS FIXING THE DRYER, AND, UH...
THAT DAMNED BASIN OF IT, IT'S ALL...
OUT OF ITS HOOP.
- WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO LIE OR SOMETHING?
- ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LISTEN. I'M SORRY.
I COULDN'T MAKE IT THIS MORNING
BECAUSE DEBRA AND I, WE JUST, YOU KNOW,
WE COULDN'T GET OUT OF BED.
- OH, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD...
- NO, BUT LISTEN...
I DIDN'T WANT TO. I WAS READY TO GO.
WE WERE IN THE KITCHEN--
- ALL RIGHT, RAY, LOOK, WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR THE DETAILS.
- I BOUGHT NEW BALLS AND SHOES.
HE OWES ME DETAILS.
- LISTEN, JUNIOR HIGH,
SHUT UP WITH THE DETAILS.
IT'S HIS WIFE.
AND, RAY, SEX OVER GOLF?
IT'S YOUR WIFE.
- LISTEN--
- HERE'S THE PIE, RAY.
YOU GUYS GONNA ORDER,
OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA COLOR THE PLACEMATS?
- NO, NO.
DON'T ORDER ANYTHING, GUYS.
LOOK, LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU, HUH?
LET'S HAVE MY PIZZA. HUH?
MY FAMILY'S PIZZA I GIVE TO YOU.
FREE.
- COME ON, FREE PIZZA.
- WE'RE GONNA NEED DRINKS.
- YEAH, YEAH, SUZY, SMALL SODAS FOR EVERYBODY.
COME ON, GUYS, DIG IN.
- ALL RIGHT.
SO...YOU HAD A BUSY MORNING.
- DID YOU REMEMBER HOW TO DO EVERYTHING,
OR DID YOU HAVE TO CONSULT THE MANUAL?
[laughs]
- HEY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
THIRD TIME THIS WEEK.
THAT'S A BARONE RECORD.
- THREE TIMES? GET OUT OF HERE!
- I'M TELLIN' YOU. - NO WAY.
- THREE TIMES. TUESDAY, THURSDAY, TODAY.
- I THINK YOU'RE CONFUSING SEX WITH SHOWERING.
- SO HOW COME YOU'RE BECOMING SO POPULAR?
- I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST HAPPENING.
- WELL, WHAT, ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT?
YOU TALKING TO HER MORE, PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO HER?
- NO.
- MAYBE IT'S YOUR... TECHNIQUE.
HAVE YOU LEARNED SOME NEW MOVES?
- NO.
MOVES. WHAT DO I GOT?
I GOT FAST FORWARD AND THE STALL.
- WELL, YOU GOTTA BE DOIN' SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
- NO.
ALTHOUGH...
THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS,
I GOT THIS PULLED MUSCLE IN MY RIBCAGE, YOU KNOW?
SO LATELY, EVERYTHING I DO,
I'M FAVORING MY LEFT SIDE.
- SO? - I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I'M JUST, LIKE, ACCENTUATING SOME EMPHASIS
AT A DIFFERENT ANGLE.
- MAYBE SHE JUST, UH,
DOESN'T WANT YOU PLAYING GOLF.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- THINK ABOUT IT, RAY. SHE'S JEALOUS.
SHE HATES WHEN YOU PLAY GOLF.
SHE'LL DO ANYTHING TO STOP IT,
EVEN IF IT MEANS HAVING SEX WITH YOU.
- [laughs] THAT'S IT! HE'S RIGHT!
- NO, THAT'S NOT IT. THAT'S NOT--
WHAT ABOUT TUESDAY AND THURSDAY?
- THAT'S PROBABLY PART OF HER PLAN.
[high-pitched voice] "I'LL HAVE SEX WITH HIM
"TUESDAY AND THURSDAY,
AND HE'LL BE NONE THE WISER."
- YEAH. SORRY.
THAT'S NOT IT, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S THE NEW ACTION.
- YEAH, RIGHT.
HEY, ROBERT, DO ME A FAVOR.
I MIGHT GET LUCKY TONIGHT. PUNCH ME IN THE RIBS?
- [laughs]
- HEY. - HEY.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- BRUSHING MY TEETH.
- OH.
SO THAT WAS A FIRST, HUH?
- WHAT'S THAT?
- THIS MORNING. MAKING ME MISS GOLF LIKE THAT.
- IT DIDN'T SEEM LIKE YOU MISSED IT.
- HA.
I DIDN'T, NO, NO.
HEY...
LOOK, THIS MORNING,
YOU WEREN'T JUST DOING THAT--
- YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING?
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE IT UP TO THE GUYS TOMORROW?
- YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- GO GOLFING TOMORROW.
- YOU...YOU WANT ME TO GO GOLFING TOMORROW?
- I MEAN, YOU DID KIND OF RUIN THEIR PLANS TODAY.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD GO GOLFING.
I'LL TAKE THE KIDS TO THE PARK.
- OH, YOU'RE THE BEST.
[sing song] GOING GOLFING TOMORROW.
ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA GO WATCH THE NEWS.
- OKAY.
- THAT'S THE... SAME KISS FROM THIS MORNING.
- OH?
- NO...
- WHY NOT?
- YOU--
YES! WHY NOT?
WELL...
OH, YOU'RE REALLY LIKING ME A LOT THIS WEEK.
I'LL BE IN THE BEDROOM.
- OKAY. DON'T START WITHOUT ME.
- I WON'T. [giggling]
OHH. AH.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
OHH...
HEY, WHAT'S THIS THING HERE?
- WHAT?
- THIS--THIS THING WITH THE MUSCLEMAN ON IT.
- OH, THAT'S FROM MY GYM.
THAT'S MY NEW AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR.
- NICK BRONSON.
DOES THAT GUY TEACH OR DOES HE JUST MODEL?
- NO, NO, HE'S REALLY GREAT.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I TOOK HIS CLASS THREE TIMES THIS WEEK.
- THREE TIMES?
- YEAH, TUESDAY, THURSDAY, AND THIS MORNING.
[sighs]
AHEM.
SO?
- OH.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
ACTUALLY...
MY RIBS ARE BOTHERING ME.
- HEY. - HEY.
- HOW LONG IS THE MIRROR IN YOUR APARTMENT?
- MA'S SEWING UP MY UNIFORM.
LEFT PANT LEG GOT ALL SHREDDED ON A CALL.
THESE DAMN PEOPLE WITH RACCOONS AS PETS.
NEVER WORKS OUT.
SO WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
- AH, YOU KNOW, NOTHING.
LISTEN, ROBERT.
- YEAH.
- DO YOU EVER...
DO YOU EVER HAVE A HAMBURGER...
AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU'RE EATING IT,
YOU'RE IMAGINING THAT IT'S A STEAK?
- I HAVE.
YES, I HAVE.
WHO'S THIS?
- THAT'S THE STEAK.
- WHAT?
- I THINK THIS GUY
IS THE REASON THAT I'M HAVING MORE SEX.
- LOOK, BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER,
I'D LIKE TO PUT MY PANTS ON.
- LISTEN...
THAT'S DEBRA'S AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR, OKAY?
SHE TOOK HIS CLASS THREE TIMES LAST WEEK.
- UH-HUH.
- YEAH, THREE TIMES.
THREE TIMES SHE WATCHED THIS GUY
MUSCLE AROUND AND GYRATE IT UP, OKAY?
AND GUESS WHAT DAYS.
- OHH... SO...
SO ALL THIS TIME, YOU'RE THINKING
IT'S YOU MAKING HER HOT.
TURNS OUT, SHE'S COMING HOME PREHEATED.
YEAH...
[laughing]
- IT'S NOT FUNNY, ROBERT.
- NO, IT IS A LITTLE FUNNY.
SEE, ONLY YOU WOULD THINK A RIB INJURY
WOULD TURN YOU INTO A... A LOVE MACHINE.
[laughing]
[singing] AND IT DON'T WORK FOR NOBODY BUT YOU.
RR-RR-RR-RR!
- ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP.
- HERE.
YOUR PANTS ARE HOLDIN' UP MY EGGS.
- OH, FRANK, I STILL NEED TO IRON THESE.
- WHY DON'T YOU SEW A DIAPER IN THERE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT TOO?
- RAYMOND, DEAR, YOU HUNGRY?
- NO, NO, NO, I'M JUST TALKING TO ROBERT.
- WHAT ARE YOU, BRAGGING?
- WHAT?
YEAH, ROBERT TOLD ME
ABOUT YOU AND HAPPY HIPS OVER THERE.
- OH, GREAT. THAT'S JUST GREAT, ROBERT.
- IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S TRYING TO EARN SOME JEWELRY.
[laughter]
- LISTEN, IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
BUT I THINK MAYBE THIS MIGHT BE DEBRA'S WAY
OF TRYING TO...COMPENSATE.
- HOW SO, MA?
- WELL, IF YOU CAN'T COOK IN THE KITCHEN...
- OKAY. GOOD-BYE.
- YOU GUYS ARE WAY OFF.
THERE.
- WHAT ARE YOU--
- HOLY CRAP!
- THAT'S DEBRA'S AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR.
SHE WATCHES HIM FLEX ALL AROUND,
AND THEN SHE GOES HOME ALL...INSPIRED.
- WHY DO YOU DO THAT?
WHY DO YOU TELL MOM AND DAD THINGS LIKE THAT, HUH,
MY PERSONAL THINGS? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?
- BRINGS US CLOSER.
- WHAT ARE YOU SO UPSET ABOUT?
SOUNDS LIKE MR. MUSCLE HERE
IS SAVING YOU SOME PREP WORK.
- I DON'T LIKE THAT, FRANK.
AND I HAVE TO SAY, RAYMOND,
I THINK THAT DEBRA IS PLAYING A VERY DANGEROUS GAME.
- OH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHO CARES WHERE SHE GETS HER APPETITE
AS LONG AS SHE HAS HER MEAL AT HOME?
- STOP. STOP.
- RAYMOND,
YOU HAVE TO GET DEBRA OUT OF THIS CLASS RIGHT NOW.
- WHY? THIS GUY IS HELPING OUT.
MAYBE RAY DOESN'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES
TO GET DEBRA'S MOTOR RUNNING.
- RAYMOND'S GOT PLENTY.
- THANK YOU...
MOM.
UNH.
- HUH.
HEY, THIS IS A GOOD-LOOKING GUY.
WHAT?
HE'S LIKE A GLADIATOR.
COME ON, ROBERT,
YOU CAN'T SAY THIS ISN'T A HANDSOME MAN.
- MA, PLEASE, I REALLY NEED MY PANTS.
- HEY.
- HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PICK ME UP AT 2:00.
- YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE
WE COULD GO OUT AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
- OKAY, GREAT.
BUT I'M GOING TO BE ANOTHER 45 MINUTES.
- WELL--
- HEY, EVERYBODY.
all: HEY!
- SO WHO'S READY TO SWEAT?
- WHOO! - ALL RIGHT!
- LISTEN, I WAS THINKING WE COULD GO TO TUTO BENES,
YOU KNOW, BUT I DON'T HAVE RESERVATIONS,
SO WHY DON'T WE JUST GO NOW?
- NAH. NO.
- HI.
ARE YOU GONNA TAKE THE CLASS TODAY?
- MAYBE.
- [laughing] NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- WELL, THERE'S AN EXTRA SPACE
IN CASE YOU DECIDE TO STAY.
- HMM.
- RAY, YOU'RE NOT TAKING THE CLASS.
- MAYBE I WILL.
WHY? WOULD THAT RUIN IT FOR YOU?
- NO, I MEAN, I DON'T CARE.
YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT.
- OKAY, GUYS, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE START WITH A QUICK WARM-UP?
[music plays]
OKAY, V-STEPS, AND...
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT...
- YOU GONNA DO 40 MINUTES OF THIS, REALLY?
COME ON.
- RAY, WOULD YOU BE QUIET?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAIT FOR ME OUTSIDE?
- I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D PAY MONEY FOR THIS.
YOU KNOW, WE GOT A FLIGHT OF STAIRS AT HOME.
- HEY, JUST SHH, SHH!
- AND GRAPEVINE!
HERE WE GO!
- OW! - SORRY. SORRY.
- YOU FEELIN' IT?
- YEAH! - YEAH!
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU! all: YEAH!
- BRING IT ON!
- WHAT'S WITH YOU?
- NOTHIN'. I'M IN THE ZONE.
- HEY! LOOKING GOOD, DEBRA. LOOKING GOOD!
OKAY, GUYS, KNEE LIFTS, READY, COUNTDOWN, AND...
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT...
COME ON, MAN. WHAT'S THE MATTER?
AROUND THE WORLD! HERE WE GO!
[music stops]
- I'LL BE IN THE JUICE BAR.
WELL, I GUESS I'M NOT AEROBICALLY GIFTED.
- [chuckles]
THAT'S OKAY; A LOT OF PEOPLE BREAK THE BOOM BOX
ON THEIR FIRST TIME OUT.
- HA. THAT'S FUNNY.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX?
- WHAT?
- YEAH.
I MEAN, THE KIDS AREN'T HOME,
AND, UH...
THE HONEYMOON SUITE IS VACANT.
MMM...
- OHH...HA HA.
NO, NOT RIGHT NOW.
- WHY?
- UM, YOU KNOW,
I'M JUST NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD RIGHT NOW.
- WHY, 'CAUSE YOU MISSED THE CLASS?
- MISSED THE CLASS?
NO, I'M JUST, YOU KNOW, NOT IN THE MOOD.
- WHY?
- WHAT ARE YOU, SEVEN?
HOW MANY TIMES YOU GONNA ASK ME WHY?
- JUST UNTIL YOU REALLY TELL ME. WHY?
- OKAY, BECAUSE THE KIDS ARE GONNA BE HOME ANY MINUTE,
I HAVE A SINK FULL OF DISHES,
AND I JUST-- WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT?
I'M JUST NOT IN THE MOOD.
- HOW ABOUT NOW?
YEAH.
- WHAT?
- YEAH. ARE YOU IN THE MOOD NOW, HUH?
HUH? KICK ONE, TWO, KICK ONE, TWO.
I'M A MANIAC! MANIAC!
- AH.
NOW I'M IN THE MOOD.
- YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.
- ALL ABOUT WHAT?
- EVERY TIME YOU GO TO THE CLASS,
YOU GET ALL TURNED ON BY HUNKY JOE, RIGHT?
AND THEN...AND THEN YOU COME HOME TO ME
TO PUT OUT THE FIRE.
- ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
- LOOKIN' GOOD, DEBRA.
LOOKIN' GOOD!
- SO...
YOU'RE GETTING ALL PARANOID
'CAUSE WE HAD A LITTLE EXTRA SEX LAST WEEK.
- THREE TIMES. THREE TIMES, RIGHT?
YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S OUT OF THE ORDINARY?
I'M SURPRISED IT WASN'T ON THE NEWS.
- SO YOU THINK I'M CHEATING ON YOU WITH YOU?
- PUT IT HOWEVER YOU WANT, ALL RIGHT?
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
- YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M TIRED.
COULD YOU JUST CALL YOURSELF AN IDIOT?
- YEAH.
YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT, RIGHT?
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I DID THAT TO YOU?
- OH, PLEASE!
WHAT ABOUT EVERY YEAR
WHEN THAT STUPID SWIMSUIT ISSUE ARRIVES?
I KNOW I'M NOT GONNA BE GETTING MUCH SLEEP THAT NIGHT.
WHY IS THAT, RAY?
- THAT'S NOT TRUE. THAT'S NOT TRUE.
DON'T TRY AND MAKE THAT LIKE THIS.
- WHAT ABOUT THE NAKED CHANNEL
THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO CHECK
TO SEE IF THEY FORGOT TO SCRAMBLE IT?
- I'M NOT CHECKING IT.
IT'S ON THE WAY TO THE TRAVEL CHANNEL.
THAT'S NOT--
- WHO'S THE ONE IN THE BEDROOM
WITH ALL THE LITTLE CHARACTER SUGGESTIONS, HUH?
"I'M THE STOCK BOY, AND YOU CAN'T REACH THE SAUCE."
OR, "OOH, COME TO BED WITH A LIMP."
- LOOK...THAT ISN'T THE SAME, ALL RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T COMPARE THAT. - NO? WHY IS THAT?
- BECAUSE NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE REAL, OKAY?
THEY'RE ALL MAKE-BELIEVE! THEY'RE GAMES!
THIS GUY IS REAL.
HE'S FLESH AND BLOOD AND SWEAT AND MUSCLES, OKAY?
AND I DON'T LIKE IT! I DON'T LIKE IT!
- RAY, DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU
THAT TAKING AEROBICS CLASSES
MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF?
YEAH, SO IF I FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF,
I FEEL BETTER ABOUT A LOT OF OTHER THINGS TOO.
- YEAH, BUT THAT GUY--
- THAT GUY JUST TEACHES CLASS; THAT'S ALL.
- THAT'S ALL? - THAT'S IT.
YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN GOOD-LOOKING MEN BEFORE.
- WHERE?
- ALL YOU EVER DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW LITTLE SEX WE HAVE,
AND LAST WEEK, WE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH,
AND ALL IT DID WAS MAKE YOU SUSPICIOUS.
- AH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M AN IDIOT, I GUESS.
- MY IDIOT.
YEAH.
- THERE'S THAT KISS AGAIN.
- HOW ABOUT THAT?
- THE KIDS ARE GONNA BE HOME IN 15 MINUTES.
- WELL, GOOD, THEN WE'LL HAVE TIME FOR A NAP TOO.
- WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE GARBAGE?
- AH, JUST LEAVE IT.
- OH, YOU'RE DIRTY.
- HEY. - HEY.
YOU HERE AGAIN? - YEAH.
I JUST--
I WANTED TO BRING HUNKY JOE A NEW BOOM BOX.
- HE'S NOT TEACHING CLASS TODAY.
- WHAT?
- HI, EVERYBODY.
all: HEY.
- EVERYBODY READY TO MOVE?
HERE WE GO.
[music starts]
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT...
- YOU KNOW, I'M FEELING BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.