1 00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:06,333 - ROBERT SET ME UP. 2 00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:09,067 I MEAN, YOU DON'T GIVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND OF TWO YEARS 3 00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:11,067 A LITTLE VELVET BOX FOR HER BIRTHDAY 4 00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:14,467 AND NOT HAVE IT BE AN ENGAGEMENT RING. 5 00:00:14,467 --> 00:00:15,867 - OH, AMY. 6 00:00:15,867 --> 00:00:17,533 YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE ANY CHOCOLATE, 7 00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:20,600 BUT BITE THE HEADS OFF THESE ANIMAL CRACKERS. 8 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,100 - THANKS. 9 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:25,133 - SO WHAT WAS IN THE BOX? 10 00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:27,833 - OH, ONE OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL PEARL 11 00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:31,500 WE'RE-NEVER-GETTING-MARRIED NECKLACES. 12 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,167 - YOU KNOW, YOU JUST GOT TO GIVE IT TIME. 13 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,233 YOU AND ROBERT WILL GET MARRIED EVENTUALLY. 14 00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:37,233 - NO, WE TALKED ABOUT IT, 15 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,700 YOU KNOW, WHEN HE ASKED ME 16 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:42,600 WHY I THREW THE VELVET BOX AT HIS HEAD. 17 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:43,700 AND HE TOLD ME, 18 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:45,100 "I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT. 19 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,167 IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S ME." 20 00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:47,333 - OH, GOD. 21 00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:49,200 "IT'S NOT YOU; IT'S ME." 22 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,633 THAT'S ON THE GUYS' GREATEST HITS ALBUM. 23 00:00:52,867 --> 00:00:54,700 - SO I BROKE UP WITH HIM. 24 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:57,467 - YOU--AGAIN? ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? 25 00:00:57,467 --> 00:00:59,400 - WHY NOT? 26 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,467 I CAME INTO THIS WORLD ALONE. 27 00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:03,267 - OH, AMY... 28 00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:04,733 OH, SWEETIE... 29 00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:06,567 - NO. IT'S MY FAULT. 30 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,367 I KEEP FALLING FOR THE WRONG GUYS. 31 00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:11,433 THIS IS MY PATTERN. 32 00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:15,500 - WELL, YOUR PATTERN USED TO BE FALLING FOR GUYS WHO WERE GAY. 33 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,400 - THEY DIDN'T START OUT GAY. 34 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,700 THEY BECAME GAY AFTER GOING OUT WITH ME. 35 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,733 - WELL, AT LEAST IT WASN'T THAT THIS TIME. 36 00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:24,733 - AS FAR AS WE KNOW. 37 00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:26,467 - YEAH, RIGHT. 38 00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:31,633 - MAYBE ROBERT IS GAY. 39 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,467 - NO. 40 00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:35,300 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 41 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:36,633 - THINK ABOUT IT. 42 00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:39,533 HE COLOR-COORDINATES HIS CLOTHES. 43 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,133 HE CAN DANCE. 44 00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:45,033 CERTAINLY VERY ATTACHED TO HIS MOTHER. 45 00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:48,700 AND HE DIDN'T PRESSURE ME TO SLEEP WITH HIM 46 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:52,300 WHEN I WASN'T READY THAT WHOLE FIRST YEAR. 47 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,600 - YEAH, BUT THEN YOU DID SLEEP WITH HIM. 48 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,700 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 49 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,800 ROBERT LIKES WOMEN. HE WAS MARRIED ONCE. 50 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,100 - YEAH, I KNOW. 51 00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:08,200 HE STARTED OUT STRAIGHT, BUT I TURN THEM. 52 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,567 I'M THE SPATULA. 53 00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:20,233 - I SHOULD NEVER HAVE FIXED AMY AND ROBERT UP. 54 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:23,067 - HEY, THEY HAD A GOOD RUN. 55 00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:26,900 LOOK, SOMETIMES THESE THINGS DON'T WORK OUT, YOU KNOW. 56 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,767 AND SOMETIMES THEY DO. 57 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:33,600 - TWO AND A HALF CHILD-BEARING YEARS OFF OF AMY'S LIFE. 58 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,800 - MMM. 59 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,733 - YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND? 60 00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:38,767 - [sighs] 61 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:42,667 THAT WHEN I KISS YOUR NECK, I'M NOT CHECKING FOR TICKS. 62 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:55,433 - ROBERT IS-- ROBERT'S ALWAYS SAYING 63 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:56,833 THAT HE WANTS WHAT YOU HAVE: 64 00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:58,400 A HOUSE, A WIFE, KIDS. 65 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,200 HE'S GONNA END UP SPENDING THE REST OF HIS LIFE 66 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,433 GOING ON DATE AFTER DATE, 67 00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:03,867 LOOKING FOR LOVE WITH STRANGERS. 68 00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:05,733 - YEAH. 69 00:03:09,167 --> 00:03:10,967 - I'M SERIOUS. 70 00:03:10,967 --> 00:03:12,467 I THINK ROBERT NEEDS TO GET SOME HELP. 71 00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:15,000 HE'S GOT THIS BIG FEAR OF COMMITMENT. 72 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,433 - IS THAT WHAT AMY THINKS? 73 00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:18,533 - NO. AMY THINKS HE'S GAY. 74 00:03:18,533 --> 00:03:21,633 - HAH. YEAH. I'LL BET SHE DOES. 75 00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:23,967 - WHAT? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 76 00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:25,133 - NOTHING. 77 00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:26,667 I JUST-- I THINK IT'S FUNNY 78 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:30,033 HOW A WOMAN ALWAYS SAYS IF A GUY REJECTS HER, 79 00:03:30,033 --> 00:03:32,633 OH, HE MUST BE GAY. 80 00:03:32,633 --> 00:03:34,167 YOU ALWAYS REJECT ME, 81 00:03:34,167 --> 00:03:39,900 A-AND I DON'T CALL YOU A LESBIAN... 82 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:41,700 EVERY SINGLE TIME. 83 00:03:43,867 --> 00:03:46,900 - I MEAN, IS THERE A CHANCE? 84 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:50,467 - THAT YOU'RE A LESBIAN? 85 00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:53,000 - THAT YOUR BROTHER IS GAY? 86 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,433 - NO! 87 00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:56,200 WHY? JUST BECAUSE HE'S NOT MARRIED? 88 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,267 WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS? 89 00:03:58,267 --> 00:04:02,133 OH, YOU WILL DO ANYTHING TO AVOID SEX WITH ME. 90 00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:04,433 - I'M JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE IS 91 00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:07,000 AND MAYBE HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT HE IS. 92 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,200 - HE'S DEFINITELY NOT. 93 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,800 ALL RIGHT? HE'S MY BROTHER. 94 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,700 - OH, OKAY. 95 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:13,200 YOU KNOW, CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 96 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,633 THERE ARE SOME MEN 97 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:16,500 WHO WON'T EVEN CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY 98 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:18,033 BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO DEVASTATING 99 00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:21,967 TO THEIR HOMOPHOBIC FAMILIES. 100 00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:25,100 - OOH, LOOK AT MY BIG WORDS. 101 00:04:31,367 --> 00:04:32,833 - I'M JUST SAYING THAT, YOU KNOW, 102 00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:35,300 EVEN IF ROBERT SUSPECTED THAT HE MIGHT BE THAT WAY, 103 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:36,867 YOU COULD SEE HOW HE WOULD THINK 104 00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:39,200 THAT IT WOULD BE EASIER JUST NOT EVEN TO DEAL WITH IT, 105 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,000 EVEN IF IT MEANT ENDING UP OLD AND ALONE. 106 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,733 AND WOULDN'T THAT BE SAD? 107 00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:47,000 - YOU WANT TO SEE OLD AND ALONE? 108 00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:56,267 - WHAT ARE YOU READING? 109 00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,667 - THE OBITUARIES. 110 00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,867 [chuckling] 111 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:04,400 I BEAT ALL THESE GUYS. 112 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,267 - HEY, I NEED TO BORROW YOUR VACUUM. 113 00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:07,600 - HELLO, DEAR. 114 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,067 YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR PANCAKES. 115 00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:10,200 - ALL RIGHT. 116 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,567 - HEY! THOSE ARE MY PANCAKES! 117 00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:13,133 WHY CAN'T HE WAIT FOR THE NEXT BATCH? 118 00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:15,067 - I LOVE HIM. 119 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,600 - OH, BOY, THESE ARE GOOD. 120 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,700 - I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE A HALF AN HOUR. 121 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,467 TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA READ MY OBIT. 122 00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:26,200 "LOCAL MAN DIES WAITING FOR FLAPJACKS." 123 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,033 - "MARIE BARONE DANCES IN STREET." 124 00:05:30,933 --> 00:05:34,067 - "DISASTER DECLARED." 125 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,300 "PRESIDENT TO VISIT STREET." 126 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,500 - ALL RIGHT, WHERE'S THE VACUUM? 127 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,067 - WHY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOURS? 128 00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:47,233 - AH, IT'S HANGING ON A CURTAIN. 129 00:05:50,133 --> 00:05:51,600 - YOU WERE VACUUMING? 130 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,400 - YEAH. WHY? 131 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,800 I HELP OUT AROUND THE HOUSE SOMETIMES. 132 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,567 - OH, THAT'S NICE. 133 00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,100 DO YOU DUST TOO? 134 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,567 WITH A LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER? 135 00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:02,100 NANCY? 136 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:06,233 - YOU KNOW, DAD, 137 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,933 SOMETIMES WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT, 138 00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,900 PEOPLE COULD GET OFFENDED. 139 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:14,133 - OFFENDED BY WHAT? 140 00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,733 - NOTHING. NOTHING. FORGET ABOUT IT. 141 00:06:15,733 --> 00:06:17,067 - NO. WHAT? 142 00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:19,133 - NOTHING. IT'S JUST... 143 00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:20,433 WHEN YOU SAY "NANCY," 144 00:06:20,433 --> 00:06:23,267 WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING EXACTLY? 145 00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:26,267 - THAT YOUR NAME SHOULD BE NANCY. 146 00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:34,533 - AND WHEN YOU SAY "NANCY," THAT'S YOUR WORD FOR GAY. 147 00:06:34,533 --> 00:06:36,367 - VERY WELL. 148 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,967 - AND--AND YOU MEAN THAT AS AN INSULT? 149 00:06:44,967 --> 00:06:47,400 - YES, I BELIEVE I DO. 150 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,000 - WELL, THAT-- THAT'S NOT NICE. 151 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,567 - THAT'S WHY IT'S A GOOD INSULT. 152 00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:55,700 - NO. 153 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:58,200 I MEAN THAT'S NOT NICE TO GAY PEOPLE. 154 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,233 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 155 00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:02,967 I'M SORRY... 156 00:07:02,967 --> 00:07:04,433 MARY. 157 00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:09,000 - OH, FORGET IT, RAYMOND. 158 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,933 FORGET IT. IT'S NO USE. 159 00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:12,467 I'VE SEEN HOW YOUR FATHER ACTS 160 00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:14,633 IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO BE HOMOSEXUAL. 161 00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:17,567 HE'S THE SAME ASS HE IS IN FRONT OF US. 162 00:07:21,933 --> 00:07:23,733 - YOU KNOW SOME HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE? 163 00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:25,000 - OF COURSE WE DO. 164 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,833 MY SECOND COUSIN FREDA. 165 00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:28,100 - WHAT? 166 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,267 - YOU KNEW THAT. 167 00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:31,400 - I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT. 168 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,100 - WHY DO YOU THINK SHE NEVER GOT MARRIED? 169 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,600 - BECAUSE SHE LOOKS LIKE A PIT BULL. 170 00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,067 - SHE EVEN BROUGHT HER GIRLFRIEND 171 00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:46,267 TO OUR ANNIVERSARY PARTY. 172 00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:50,233 - THAT BLUE HAIR WHO ATE ALL THE MEATBALLS? 173 00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:52,467 - YEAH, THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR YEARS. 174 00:07:52,467 --> 00:07:55,767 MIDGE. 175 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,733 - AND--AND YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THIS? 176 00:07:57,733 --> 00:07:59,833 - IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE IF SHE LEFT SOME MEATBALLS 177 00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:01,467 FOR THE OTHER GUESTS. 178 00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:04,533 BUT I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH THE GAY PEOPLE. 179 00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,000 - WHAT DID YOU BRING THIS UP FOR? 180 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,467 - I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T. 181 00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:12,667 LAST NIGHT, DEBRA WAS SAYIN' 182 00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,867 THAT IF SOMEONE IN OUR FAMILY WAS GAY-- 183 00:08:14,867 --> 00:08:17,000 - WAS IT JEFFREY? 184 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,233 I TOLD YOU ABOUT HIM. 185 00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:19,433 - WOULD YOU STOP, DAD? 186 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,567 - LOOK AT HIM. HE RUNS FUNNY. 187 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,267 - OH. 188 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,133 WE WERE TALKIN' ABOUT ROBERT. 189 00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:28,300 - ROBERT? 190 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,300 - ROBERT'S NOT GAY. 191 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,833 HE'S A POLICEMAN. 192 00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:38,367 - ONE OF THOSE VILLAGE PEOPLE WAS A POLICEMAN. 193 00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:39,933 - ROBERT'S NOT GAY. 194 00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:41,233 - THEN WHY DID YOU SAY HE WAS? 195 00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:42,533 - I DIDN'T! 196 00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:44,200 - HEY, YOU TAUGHT HIM ALL THOSE SONGS. 197 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:48,033 - WHAT? WE SANG SONGS TOGETHER. 198 00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:50,500 [singing] SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW 199 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:51,867 - KNOCK IT OFF! 200 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:52,933 - WHAT? 201 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,167 - THAT'S HOW IT STARTS! 202 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,433 - OH, PLEASE! 203 00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:59,000 HE'S NOT GAY. HE'S DATING AMY. 204 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,067 - YEAH, WELL... 205 00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:02,700 - WHAT? THEY BROKE UP? 206 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,000 - YES, BUT--BUT-- 207 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,900 - THEY BROKE UP? WHY DID THEY BREAK UP? 208 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,200 - I DON'T KNOW, MA. 209 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,100 - THIS IS THE THIRD TIME. 210 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,533 [gasps] OH, MY GOD. 211 00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:12,333 - OH, COME ON. LOOK, IT'S NOT BECAUSE-- 212 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:14,067 - I TOLD YOU. IT WAS TOO MUCH MOTHERING. 213 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,200 YOU'RE ALWAYS HUGGING HIM. 214 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,367 - DID YOU EVER HUG HIM ONCE? 215 00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:20,833 - WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE? 216 00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:22,167 - NOTHING! 217 00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:24,600 NOTHING IS HAPPENING, FRANK. 218 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,167 COULD YOU TRY TO BE MATURE FOR A SECOND? 219 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,167 HE'S STILL OUR SON. 220 00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:29,567 WE NEED TO UNDERST-- 221 00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:32,300 - OH, COULD YOU BOTH STOP, PLEASE? 222 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,633 - HELLO, EVERYBODY. 223 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,633 - ROBERT. 224 00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:50,633 IT'S FINE WITH ME IF YOU'RE GAY, DEAR. 225 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,800 - WHO TOLD YOU I WAS GAY? 226 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:03,833 - RAYMOND. 227 00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,333 - MA! 228 00:10:06,633 --> 00:10:08,100 I DIDN'T SAY THAT, ALL RIGHT? 229 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,633 I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. 230 00:10:09,633 --> 00:10:12,467 - HE TOLD US THAT YOU BROKE UP WITH AMY AGAIN. 231 00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,833 - WELL, THAT MEANS I'M NOT READY TO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW. 232 00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:16,267 IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY. 233 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,467 - ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART. HAVE SOME PANCAKES. 234 00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:20,733 - I'M NOT GAY! TELL THEM, RAYMOND. 235 00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:21,867 - HE'S NOT! 236 00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:23,400 - HERE. SIT DOWN, DEAR. 237 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,200 - YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THIS THING WITH AMY WAS 238 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,667 I-I-I COULDN'T COMMIT RIGHT NOW. 239 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,867 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. 240 00:10:27,867 --> 00:10:29,300 MAYBE SHE'S NOT THE ONE FOR ME. 241 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,433 - IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN? 242 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,967 - OH, MY GOD. 243 00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:41,067 IS THERE A GAS LEAK IN HERE? 244 00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:44,833 - OH, COME ON. COME HERE. 245 00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:45,967 I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU 246 00:10:45,967 --> 00:10:47,367 THAT YOUR FATHER AND I LOVE YOU 247 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,267 AND WILL SUPPORT YOU NO MATTER WHAT. 248 00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:50,533 RIGHT, FRANK? 249 00:10:57,433 --> 00:11:00,100 I'LL SUPPORT YOU... 250 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,100 - THANKS, MA. 251 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,767 - EVEN IF YOU ARE GAY. 252 00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:04,967 - BELIEVE ME, ROBERT, 253 00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:06,367 I DID NOT SAY THAT YOU WERE GAY. 254 00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:09,400 - COULD WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, PLEASE? 255 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,833 - I MEAN, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD UNDERSTAND, FRANK. 256 00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,600 WHAT ABOUT THAT MAN IN KOREA? 257 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,500 - I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION THAT. 258 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,367 - WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED IN KOREA? 259 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,900 - NOTHING HAPPENED. 260 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,700 WE WERE IN A FOXHOLE. 261 00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:35,967 IT WAS COLD AND SNOWING. 262 00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:37,967 WE HAD TO KEEP WARM. 263 00:11:37,967 --> 00:11:39,367 WE HUDDLED. 264 00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,700 YOU GOTTA SURVIVE, DON'T YA? 265 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,633 IT LASTED HALF A SECOND. 266 00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:46,133 - YOU SEE, DEAR, YOUR FATHER UNDERSTANDS. 267 00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,333 - OUR COATS WERE INSUFFICIENT! 268 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,733 IT WAS HUDDLE OR DIE! 269 00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:52,433 - OH, SHUT UP, FRANK. 270 00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:54,467 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ROBERT. 271 00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:57,700 AND WE'RE TELLING HIM THAT WE WILL RESPECT HIS CHOICE. 272 00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:00,133 - IT'S NOT MY CHOICE! 273 00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:01,733 - I KNOW, DEAR. 274 00:12:01,733 --> 00:12:06,333 FREDA SAYS IT'S SOMETHING YOU'RE BORN WITH. 275 00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:08,400 - LOOK, ROBERT, JUST IGNORE 'EM. THAT'S ALL. 276 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,000 - IGNORE THEM? MY PARENTS THINK I'M GAY. 277 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,433 - SO WHAT? 278 00:12:12,433 --> 00:12:14,000 IF THEY TELL EVERYONE THEY KNOW, 279 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,133 THAT'S FOUR PEOPLE. 280 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,000 - THANKS A LOT, RAYMOND. 281 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,833 - I DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE, ALL RIGHT? 282 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:30,400 IT WAS A "WHAT IF?" 283 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,400 YOU KNOW, LIKE, "WHAT IF WE WERE ADOPTED?" 284 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,267 IT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN, BUT IT'S FUN TO THINK ABOUT. 285 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,633 - YEAH? WELL, HAVE YOUR FUN. 286 00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:46,567 - HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN VERY SENSITIVE. 287 00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:47,400 - HE OUTRANKED ME. 288 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,000 I COULDN'T SAY NO! 289 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,000 - [singing] IT'S SO NICE TO BE 290 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,100 BACK HOME WHERE I BELONG 291 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,933 YOU'RE LOOKING S-- [music stops] 292 00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:16,867 [knock on door] 293 00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,300 - ROBERT. 294 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,033 I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE. 295 00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:26,300 I PARKED RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 296 00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:28,700 - THEN MOVE YOUR CAR. 297 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:32,367 I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR MY PARADE IN THE VILLAGE. 298 00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:38,600 - COME ON, I JUST WANT TO TALK. 299 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,433 - GO AWAY. 300 00:13:40,433 --> 00:13:43,500 - LISTEN, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GAY! 301 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,100 - GET IN HERE! 302 00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:53,067 YOU DON'T THINK I'M GAY? 303 00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:55,233 THEN WHY WAS I OUTED AT BREAKFAST? 304 00:13:55,233 --> 00:13:57,267 - COME ON, YOU KNOW MOM AND DAD. 305 00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:59,900 YOU SAY ONE THING AND THEY'RE OFF AND RUNNING. 306 00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,867 - AND WHAT WAS THAT ONE THING? 307 00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:04,233 "ROBERT'S MAN CRAZY"? 308 00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:07,933 - I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. 309 00:14:07,933 --> 00:14:10,200 I-I'D SAY SOMETHING LIKE... 310 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,033 LIKE, ROBERT HAS LOVELY LITTLE KNICKKNACKS 311 00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:13,567 ON HIS MANTEL. 312 00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:19,633 - THEY ARE LOVELY. 313 00:14:19,633 --> 00:14:21,567 - YEAH, OKAY. SO WHAT? 314 00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:25,333 - I GOT THEM AT AN ANTIQUE FAIR. 315 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,300 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, WHATEVER. 316 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,833 LOOK, I WAS KIDDING. 317 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:31,000 I'M SORRY THAT I TALKED TO MOM AND DAD. 318 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,067 I ALWAYS AM. 319 00:14:35,233 --> 00:14:37,967 - WELL, NO, LISTEN, I NEVER CONSIDERED IT. 320 00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:39,033 LOOK AT ME. 321 00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:40,033 I'M DIVORCED, 322 00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:41,200 BREAKUPS LEFT AND RIGHT... 323 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,433 I DON'T KNOW, RAYMOND. 324 00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:43,900 IF THE WHOLE FAMILY THINKS I AM-- 325 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,167 - WILL YOU STOP IT? 326 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:47,067 THEY DON'T THINK YOU'RE GAY. 327 00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:49,167 THEY'RE JUST CONFUSED. 328 00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:55,633 MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WORN THAT SHIRT TODAY. 329 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,800 - OH, HEY, I DIDN'T BUY THIS SHIRT. 330 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,300 MA BOUGHT IT FOR ME. 331 00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:04,400 - AW. 332 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,967 LOOK, THIS WHOLE THING IS DEBRA'S FAULT. 333 00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:08,267 SHE--SHE PUT THE IDEA IN MY HEAD 334 00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,967 THAT IF YOU WERE GAY-- 335 00:15:09,967 --> 00:15:11,500 - DEBRA THINKS I'M GAY TOO? 336 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,233 - NO! NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE GAY! 337 00:15:13,233 --> 00:15:14,900 EXCEPT FOR MAYBE AMY. 338 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:16,200 - OH. 339 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,400 ONLY THE WOMAN I WAS SLEEPING WITH. 340 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,533 - LOOK, AMY'S GOT NOTHING TO COMPARE IT WITH. 341 00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:23,767 SHE WAS A VIRGIN WHEN YOU MET HER. 342 00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:25,100 COME ON. 343 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,900 YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 344 00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,333 JEEZ. 345 00:15:31,633 --> 00:15:34,300 - HEY, RAY. 346 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,300 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 347 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,167 DO YOU EVER NOTICE GUYS? 348 00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,700 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 349 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,900 - WELL, LIKE IF A GUY'S REALLY CUT, YOU KNOW, 350 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,167 WHEN YOU'RE AT THE GYM. 351 00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,567 YOU EVER NOTICE 'EM? 352 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:55,067 - NOPE. 353 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,100 - OH. 354 00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:58,433 - HMM. 355 00:15:58,433 --> 00:16:00,667 DO YOU? 356 00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:02,633 - A LITTLE BIT. 357 00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:03,567 - YEAH, WELL, SO WHAT? 358 00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:04,867 SO YOU NOTICE THEM A LITTLE. 359 00:16:04,867 --> 00:16:05,867 SO WHAT? THAT'S NORMAL. 360 00:16:05,867 --> 00:16:07,800 - THEN WHY DON'T YOU? 361 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,033 - ALL RIGHT. 362 00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,267 I NOTICE A LITTLE. 363 00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:11,767 LIKE I NOTICED YOUR KNICKKNACKS. 364 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,267 IT'S... 365 00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:15,200 IT'S SOMETHING IN THE ROOM, THAT'S ALL. 366 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,467 IT DOESN'T MEAN I GOT A THING FOR KNICKKNACKS. 367 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,567 - SO YOU NEVER WONDERED IF YOU WERE? 368 00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:32,067 - EVERY GUY WONDERS IF HE IS AT SOME POINT. 369 00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:33,233 - YOU SURE? 370 00:16:33,233 --> 00:16:34,633 - YEAH, YEAH. 371 00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:36,433 YOU WONDER, AND THEN YOU SEE SOME BREASTS, 372 00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,467 YOU WALK INTO A WALL, AND THERE YOU GO. 373 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,433 - SO... 374 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:43,767 WHEN DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT? 375 00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:45,133 - I DON'T KNOW. 376 00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,767 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. 377 00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:49,233 - YOU DON'T REMEMBER 'CAUSE YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 378 00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:50,300 - I THOUGHT ABOUT IT! 379 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,033 - WHEN? - TENTH GRADE! 380 00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:55,333 - GO AHEAD. 381 00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:56,867 - IT WAS NOTHING. 382 00:16:56,867 --> 00:16:58,467 IT'S... 383 00:16:58,467 --> 00:17:00,867 PATRICK LOPEZ WROTE "YOU'RE A GAY" IN MY YEARBOOK. 384 00:17:00,867 --> 00:17:02,700 AND I THOUGHT... 385 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,467 MAYBE I WAS. 386 00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,067 - JUST BECAUSE HE WROTE THAT? 387 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,367 - NO. 388 00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:09,967 BECAUSE... PATRICK LOPEZ WAS GAY, 389 00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:12,300 AND I THOUGHT HE WOULD KNOW. 390 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,767 - WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW? 391 00:17:16,767 --> 00:17:18,367 - WELL, YOU--YOU'RE NOT! 392 00:17:18,367 --> 00:17:20,300 WH...EVEN IF YOU WERE, WELL, ALL RIGHT. 393 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,633 IT WOULDN'T BE THE END OF THE WORLD. 394 00:17:21,633 --> 00:17:23,167 YOU'D STILL BE MY BROTHER. 395 00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:27,667 MY BIG HOMOSEXUAL BROTHER. 396 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,767 - THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME, RAYMOND. 397 00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:35,700 - YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. 398 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,567 [Robert chuckles] 399 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:47,867 - I'M GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK. 400 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,533 THIS IS NICE. 401 00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:52,267 I SHOULD BE GAY MORE OFTEN. 402 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,767 HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT MA SAID? 403 00:17:54,767 --> 00:17:55,767 - WHEN? 404 00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,100 - THIS MORNING. 405 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,867 SHE SAID THAT SHE WOULD LOVE AND SUPPORT ME 406 00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:00,200 NO MATTER WHAT. 407 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,833 THAT'S THE NICEST THING SHE EVER SAID TO ME. 408 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,167 THE RUNNER-UP WAS 409 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,433 "YOU'VE GOT SPINACH IN YOUR TEETH." 410 00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:09,600 I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING: 411 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,600 I WOULD'VE MADE AN EXCELLENT GAY MAN. 412 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:14,667 - WHAT? 413 00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:15,833 - YEAH. HEAR ME OUT. 414 00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,867 I ALWAYS HAVE PROBLEMS WITH WOMEN, RIGHT? 415 00:18:17,867 --> 00:18:19,667 BUT YOU HANG WITH A GUY... 416 00:18:19,667 --> 00:18:21,133 THERE'S NO HASSLES. 417 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,633 PLAY SOME GOLF. 418 00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:24,733 Y-YOU TELL A JOKE. NOBODY'S OFFENDED. 419 00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,700 OR YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK AT ALL. 420 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,133 NOBODY CARES. 421 00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:29,467 WE COULD SIT AND WATCH TV 422 00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:31,267 AS LONG AS WE WANT, AND NOBODY ASKS, 423 00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:33,700 [in a high-pitched voice] "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" 424 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,733 - MAYBE I'M GAY. 425 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:40,233 [chuckles] 426 00:18:40,233 --> 00:18:41,600 - DON'T LAUGH SO FAST. 427 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,100 THERE WAS A SERGEANT ON OUR FORCE, 428 00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:44,867 A REGULAR GUY JUST LIKE YOU AND ME, 429 00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:46,367 WHO HAD NO IDEA HE WAS THAT WAY 430 00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:49,233 UNTIL HIS TRIP TO HAWAII. 431 00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:51,133 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHY? WHAT HAPPENED? 432 00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:52,733 - A GUY RENTED HIM A BOOGIE BOARD, 433 00:18:52,733 --> 00:18:55,100 AND A BELL WENT OFF. 434 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,500 TODAY THEY RUN A GIFT SHOP ON MAUI. 435 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:02,800 - SO WHAT? 436 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,067 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 437 00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:06,933 WE JUST HAVEN'T MET MR. RIGHT? 438 00:19:06,933 --> 00:19:08,500 - I DON'T KNOW. 439 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,600 - DEBRA AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT GOING TO HAWAII. 440 00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:15,967 - I WOULDN'T. 441 00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:18,200 [knock on door] 442 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,933 - ROBERT. 443 00:19:19,933 --> 00:19:21,200 HEY... 444 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,333 YOU GOT SOMEONE IN THERE? 445 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,000 - YES I DO. 446 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,333 - NEVERMIND, I'LL COME BACK. 447 00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,633 OH. 448 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,067 HEY, RAY. 449 00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,900 - YEAH, HI THERE, DAD. 450 00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:41,233 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 451 00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:44,267 - I GOT TO GET YOUR MOTHER OFF MY BACK. 452 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,767 SHE'S KILLING ME OVER THIS. 453 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:50,733 "HE'S YOUR SON. WHY CAN'T YOU BE A PERSON?" 454 00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:52,667 SO I'M HERE. 455 00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:54,867 I'M TALKING TO YOU. 456 00:19:54,867 --> 00:19:57,433 OKAY? 457 00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:59,000 - OKAY. 458 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,000 - BUT THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT. 459 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,667 - OKAY. 460 00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:09,000 SO YOU WANT TO WATCH A GAME OR SOMETHING? 461 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,633 - YES. 462 00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:11,900 YES, THE GAME. 463 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,000 THE GAME IS GOOD. 464 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,067 - HOW ABOUT YOU RAY? 465 00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:16,267 YOU WANT TO WATCH? 466 00:20:16,267 --> 00:20:18,200 - YEAH, YEAH PUT THE GAME ON. 467 00:20:20,267 --> 00:20:24,700 - SO, THIS IS ALL RIGHT. 468 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,367 JUST THE GUYS HANGING OUT. 469 00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,067 - DAD, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 470 00:20:30,067 --> 00:20:33,300 YOU EVER BEEN TO HAWAII? 471 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,233 - OH YEAH, I LOVE HAWAII. 472 00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,433 IT'S BEAUTIFUL THERE. 473 00:20:38,433 --> 00:20:40,500 ME AND A FEW OF THE GUYS FROM MY UNIT 474 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:45,867 HAD A STOPOVER THERE ON THE WAY BACK FROM KOREA. 475 00:20:45,867 --> 00:20:48,400 BOY, DID WE SEE SOME ACTION! 476 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:58,533 [doorbell rings] 477 00:20:58,533 --> 00:20:59,633 - I GOT IT. 478 00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:08,433 - HEY, HOW'S IT GOING? 479 00:21:13,033 --> 00:21:16,033 I JUST NEED YOU TO SIGN FOR THIS. 480 00:21:28,933 --> 00:21:31,167 I-I'M GONNA NEED THAT BACK. 481 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,567 THANKS A LOT. SEE YA. 482 00:21:33,567 --> 00:21:35,067 - MM-HMM. 483 00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:39,700 - WHAT'D YOU GET? 484 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,767 - THERE YOU GO.