1 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:04,500 - STOP IT! IT'S MINE! IT'S MINE! 2 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:05,533 - THAT'S ENOUGH FIGHTING! 3 00:00:05,533 --> 00:00:07,067 EVERYBODY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 4 00:00:07,067 --> 00:00:08,067 WE'RE GOIN' TO CHURCH. COME ON. 5 00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:09,367 - [groaning] 6 00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:11,667 - ALL RIGHT. OKAY, HERE. TURN THAT OFF. 7 00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:25,000 - HOW COME DADDY NEVER HAS TO GO TO CHURCH? 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,400 - WHY DON'T YOU ASK DADDY? 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,200 - [mumbled] I HAVE TO WORK, HONEY. 10 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:38,200 - SEE? HE'S EATING HIS BUSINESS LUNCH. 11 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,467 - I AM WORKING. THERE'S A BIG GAME ON TODAY. 12 00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:42,467 - I THOUGHT IT DIDN'T START UNTIL 1:00. 13 00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:47,467 - OKAY, YEAH, BUT THERE'S A PREGAME. 14 00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:54,333 LOOK, I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB, RIGHT? 15 00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:56,700 - ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, LET'S GO! 16 00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:58,033 CHURCH TIME! 17 00:00:58,033 --> 00:01:00,133 CHOP-CHOP. 18 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,433 - YOU USUALLY HIDE UPSTAIRS UNTIL WE LEAVE. 19 00:01:12,033 --> 00:01:15,000 A LITTLE MORE BRAZEN IN YOUR BLASPHEMY. 20 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:18,267 - DON'T TELL HIM HOW TO DO HIS JOB. 21 00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:19,467 COME ON. LET'S GO. 22 00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:20,933 - HEY, WHAT...? 23 00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:22,233 I DON'T KNOW WHY GOD 24 00:01:22,233 --> 00:01:24,133 PUT CHURCH AND FOOTBALL AT THE SAME TIME. 25 00:01:24,133 --> 00:01:26,667 AS A MATTER OF FACT, BRING THAT UP TODAY. 26 00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,333 - COME ON, KIDS! WAIT UP; WAIT UP, KIDS! 27 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:45,067 - UNWASHED, UNSHAVEN, SCRATCHING HIMSELF. 28 00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:48,167 ALL MY LOVE, ALL MY--MY CARING. 29 00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:51,233 I POURED MY HEART INTO THIS BOY. 30 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,567 THIS IS MY ONE REGRET AS A PARENT. 31 00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:04,633 - I'M THE ONE GOIN' TO CHURCH! 32 00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:13,800 [gentle piano music] 33 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,467 - WHAT'D YOU DO THERE? 34 00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,600 - THEY'RE COMING! 35 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:25,733 [Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" from "Symphony No. 9"] 36 00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:44,700 [music stops abruptly] 37 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,000 [lock clicks] 38 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,967 [heart beating] 39 00:02:48,967 --> 00:02:52,367 [mail slot door squeaking] 40 00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:55,733 [Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" from "Symphony No. 9"] 41 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,167 - HEY, RAY... 42 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,500 - HEY, DEBRA, LOOK. LOOK AT THIS. 43 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,567 - WHAT? 44 00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:11,400 - YOU'RE IN JAIL. LOOK AT THAT. 45 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:15,000 - GOIN' ON TEN YEARS NOW. YEAH. 46 00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:22,267 HONEY, SHOW DADDY YOUR PICTURE. 47 00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:25,400 - OH...DID YOU DRAW THIS? THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 48 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,667 YOU'RE QUITE THE LITTLE ARTIST. 49 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,000 - YEAH, TELL DADDY WHAT IT IS. 50 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,167 - NO, NO, NO. LET ME GUESS. 51 00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:33,333 UH, THAT'S A BIG ORANGE WALL. 52 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:34,600 - IT'S FIRE. 53 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,333 - FIRE. YES, OF COURSE, IT'S FIRE. 54 00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:38,233 IT'S A BIG WALL OF FIRE, 55 00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:39,633 AND THAT MUST BE THE FIREMAN. 56 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:42,500 - ACTUALLY, ALLY TOLD ME IT'S A PICTURE OF HELL. 57 00:03:47,933 --> 00:03:49,033 - YOU-- 58 00:03:49,033 --> 00:03:52,533 YOU MEAN "HECK," RIGHT? 59 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,667 RIGHT, ALLY? 60 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,400 SO IS THAT THE DEVIL? 61 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,000 - NOPE. IT'S YOU. 62 00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:02,667 - ME? I-- 63 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:03,933 I--I'M... 64 00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:07,067 WHY AM I IN HECK, SWEETIE? 65 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:12,267 - BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT GRANDPA SAID. 66 00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,800 - GRANDPA SAID THAT? 67 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,200 WHAT? GRANDPA TOLD YOU THAT I'M GOING TO HECK? 68 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,600 - HE SAID, "HELL." 69 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,600 - REALLY? 70 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,600 REALLY? WHY DID GRANDPA SAY THAT? 71 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,100 - 'CAUSE YOU DON'T GO TO CHURCH. 72 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:28,100 - GRANDPA SAID THAT? 73 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,967 WHERE WERE YOU? 74 00:04:29,967 --> 00:04:32,500 - I WAS IN CHURCH. 75 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,967 - OKAY, I'M GONNA, UH, 76 00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:38,133 I'M GONNA GO ACROSS THE STREET 77 00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:39,700 'CAUSE, UH... 78 00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:43,300 IF I'M GONNA GO TO HECK, I'M TAKIN' HIM WITH ME. 79 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,167 - MARIE! 80 00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,700 - GO AHEAD, FRANK! 81 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,367 - [giggles] 82 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:13,700 SHE IS GOOD FOR SOMETHIN'. 83 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:17,033 MMM! MMM. 84 00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,367 - ALL RIGHT, DAD. 85 00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:19,633 WHY DID YOU TELL ALLY THAT-- 86 00:05:19,633 --> 00:05:21,000 - YOU WANT SOME CAKE? - NO. 87 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,633 - GOOD. 88 00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:24,967 SEE THIS PICTURE, DAD? 89 00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:27,033 IT'S A PICTURE OF ME IN HELL. 90 00:05:27,033 --> 00:05:28,333 MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER DREW IT 91 00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:29,800 BECAUSE HER GRANDPA TOLD HER 92 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,467 THAT'S WHERE HER FATHER'S GOIN': 93 00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,433 TO HELL! 94 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,400 WHAT KIND OF A MIND DOES THAT? 95 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:39,600 - MMM! THIS CAKE ALMOST MAKES MARRIAGE BEARABLE. 96 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,000 HEY! 97 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,367 - WHY DID YOU TELL HER THAT? 98 00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:45,133 - I NEVER TOLD HER YOU WERE GOING THERE. 99 00:05:45,133 --> 00:05:46,733 SHE ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE 100 00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:47,933 WHO DON'T GO TO CHURCH. 101 00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:51,267 I SAID, "THEY GO TO HELL, SWEETIE." 102 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:55,100 SHE MUST HAVE PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER. 103 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:59,100 SMART KID. 104 00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,600 - GO--GO OVER THERE RIGHT NOW 105 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,400 AND TELL HER THAT I'M NOT GOIN' TO HELL! 106 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,100 - YOU KNOW, I WOULD LOVE TO, 107 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,433 BUT I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. 108 00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:11,967 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHIPPED CREAM. 109 00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:14,500 - HEY, YOU REALLY THINK THAT I'M GOIN' TO HELL? 110 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,100 - I TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT. 111 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:18,133 - LOOK, HEY, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, ALL RIGHT? 112 00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:19,467 I DON'T WANT YOU TALKIN' TO MY KIDS 113 00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:21,400 ABOUT THIS STUFF ANYMORE; YOU GOT THAT? 114 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,000 - SINCE WHEN DO YOU GIVE ME ORDERS? 115 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,800 - SINCE YOU CROSSED OVER THE LINE. 116 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,267 - HI, RAYMOND. YOU HUNGRY? HAVE SOME CAKE. 117 00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:30,233 - I DON'T WANT ANY CAKE! 118 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:33,233 - WE HAVE WHIPPED CREAM. 119 00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:34,467 - HOW ABOUT THIS, MARIE. 120 00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:35,967 YOUR SON DOESN'T WANT ME TALKIN' 121 00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:37,433 TO MY OWN GRANDCHILDREN. 122 00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:38,267 - OH? 123 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,733 - THAT ISN'T WHAT I SAID. 124 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,700 - I'LL TALK TO ANYONE I WANT ANYTIME I WANT. 125 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:45,133 - UNFORTUNATELY, RAYMOND, THIS IS AMERICA. 126 00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:46,567 - MOM, I DON'T WANT HIM TELLIN' ALLY-- 127 00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,267 - HEY, HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 128 00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:50,967 ARE YOU TALKIN' TO MY WIFE? 129 00:06:50,967 --> 00:06:52,067 - WHAT? 130 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,467 - DON'T TALK TO MY WIFE. 131 00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:56,133 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, DAD, DON'T BE CUTE. 132 00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,000 - HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU WANT TO BE LIKE THAT, 133 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,300 YOU DON'T TALK TO HER. 134 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,633 ONLY I TALK TO HER. 135 00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:05,467 HELLO, SWEETHEART. HOW ARE YOU? 136 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,200 - OH, I'M FINE, BUT, YOU KNOW, I HAVE A THING THAT-- 137 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,333 - OH, STOP IT, MOM! 138 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:10,833 HE DOESN'T CARE HOW YOU ARE! 139 00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,233 - HEY! 140 00:07:12,233 --> 00:07:14,267 YOU'RE TALKIN' TO HER. 141 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,567 STOP TALKIN' TO HER. 142 00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:17,933 - NO. IT'S ALL RIGHT, FRANK. 143 00:07:17,933 --> 00:07:19,267 HE CAN TALK TO ME 144 00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:21,533 UNLESS YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME SOME MORE. 145 00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:25,000 I LIKED IT. 146 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,733 - I WAS JUST MAKING A POINT. 147 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,433 - DAD TOLD ALLY THAT I AM GOING TO HELL. 148 00:07:33,433 --> 00:07:35,167 - FRANK. 149 00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:37,167 - HE NEVER GOES TO MASS, MARIE. 150 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:38,733 IT'S AN OPEN-AND-SHUT CASE. 151 00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:40,033 - YOU SEE? YOU SEE, MA? 152 00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:41,767 - NO, YOU SHOULD GO TO MASS, RAYMOND. 153 00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:44,167 - I DON'T WANT TO GO! 154 00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:46,700 - WHY DO YOU HURT ME? 155 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:51,400 - LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO HURT YOU, MOM-- 156 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,333 - STOP HURTING YOUR MOTHER. GO TO CHURCH. 157 00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:55,367 - NO! - OH! OOH... 158 00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:56,667 OH... 159 00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,767 - LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOIN' TO HER. GO TO CHURCH! 160 00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:01,000 - NO, NO! I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. 161 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,400 - "I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT." 162 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,100 THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH YOU KIDS TODAY. 163 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,567 EVERYTHING HAS TO FEEL GOOD. 164 00:08:05,567 --> 00:08:08,133 DO YOU THINK WORLD WAR II FELT GOOD? 165 00:08:08,133 --> 00:08:09,967 DO YOU THINK KOREA FELT GOOD? 166 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:12,733 IN MY DAY, NOTHING FELT GOOD! 167 00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,267 - WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR DAY 168 00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:17,233 AND STOP RUINING MINE? 169 00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:19,567 - 12 YEARS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOL DOWN THE TOILET. 170 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,500 GO TO CHURCH! 171 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,600 - FRANK, YOU CAN'T JUST SCREAM AT SOMEONE TO GO TO CHURCH. 172 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,367 - WELL, 40 YEARS OF YOUR GUILT HASN'T WORKED. 173 00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:29,733 - I NEED MORE TIME. 174 00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:32,833 - LOOK, I--ALL I'M SAYIN' IS, FROM NOW ON, 175 00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:36,133 IF ALLY ASKS YOU SOMETHING ABOUT RELIGIOUS STUFF 176 00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:39,033 OR GOVERNMENT OR MINORITIES, 177 00:08:39,033 --> 00:08:40,867 PLEASE REFER HER TO ME! 178 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:42,367 - HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? 179 00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:44,433 IT'S EMBARRASSING. I'M IN CHURCH. 180 00:08:44,433 --> 00:08:46,433 PEOPLE ARE SAYING, "HOW COME RAY'S NEVER HERE? 181 00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:48,300 DIDN'T YOU RAISE HIM RIGHT?" 182 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,767 - THEY SAY THAT? - SHUT UP. 183 00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:52,633 - YEAH. 184 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,333 LOOK, I'M NOT GOIN' JUST TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD. 185 00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,733 - GO TO CHURCH! - NO! 186 00:08:57,733 --> 00:08:59,300 - THEN THOU ARE DOOMED 187 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:02,333 TO SUFFER THE FIRES OF ETERNAL DAMNATION. 188 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,067 - SEE, NOW, I WOULD NEVER SCREAM AT YOU LIKE THAT, RAYMOND, 189 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:17,733 BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOUR FAILURES... 190 00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:20,033 ARE MY FAULT. 191 00:09:29,467 --> 00:09:32,400 [spoon scraping] 192 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,267 - THAT'S RIGHT, THE WHOLE THING. 193 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,933 YOU MARRIED A MAN. 194 00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:44,967 - HMM. 195 00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:48,867 - "24 GRAMS OF FAT." 196 00:09:48,867 --> 00:09:50,233 YEAH, BUT DON'T WORRY. 197 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:55,200 I'LL BE BURNING IT OFF... IN HELL. 198 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,433 OKAY, I'M GOIN' UP. 199 00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:57,633 - OKAY. 200 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:03,467 - YOU KNOW, I KIND OF UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR FATHER FEELS. 201 00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,267 - OKAY, GOOD NIGHT. 202 00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:09,133 - NO, RAY. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 203 00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:11,133 - OH! EH... 204 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,233 - YOU STILL CONSIDER YOURSELF CATHOLIC? 205 00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:15,800 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 206 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,133 UH, YEAH, I'M CATHOLIC. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT. 207 00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:20,433 IT'S LIKE BEING ITALIAN 208 00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:22,600 OR--OR... 209 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,400 SEXY. 210 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,667 - SO WHY DON'T YOU GO TO MASS? 211 00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:34,733 - COME ON, LOOK, IT'S NOT LIKE I NEVER GO, RIGHT? 212 00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:36,233 AND YOU GO ALL THE TIME, 213 00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:38,567 AND ACCORDING TO THIS MARRIED THING, 214 00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:40,100 WE ARE ONE. 215 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,300 - OKAY, NO, YOU KNOW, 216 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:45,733 I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE A BIG THING. 217 00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:47,400 I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FATHER 218 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,333 AND, YOU KNOW, WHY YOU GOT SO ANGRY ABOUT IT. 219 00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,433 - BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS. 220 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,933 - WHY DON'T YOU GO TO CHURCH? 221 00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:55,267 - I DON'T KNOW. I-- 222 00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:57,600 IT'S--IT'S BECAUSE OF THE KNEELING, REALLY. 223 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,467 IT'S JUST--YOU KNOW I HAVE BAD KNEES. 224 00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:05,967 - YOU KNOW, GOD CAN HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW. 225 00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:09,133 - LET ME FINISH. 226 00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:10,667 ALL RIGHT? 227 00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:14,067 THAT'S NOT THE ONLY REASON. 228 00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,533 THAT'S-- THAT'S ONE OF 'EM. 229 00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:19,033 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, WHEN I GO-- 230 00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:20,333 WHEN I GO THERE, 231 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,700 I SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT GOD, RIGHT? 232 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:26,133 BUT INSTEAD I'M THINKING ABOUT SOME COLUMN I'M WORKIN' ON, 233 00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:27,967 UH, "WHAT'S UP WITH THIS GUY'S SCALP? 234 00:11:27,967 --> 00:11:30,200 "OH, THAT LADY SNEEZED. 235 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,833 I'M NOT SHAKING HER HAND." 236 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,467 I'M NOT FOCUSED. 237 00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:36,767 I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS, 238 00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:39,900 AND THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT RESPECTFUL, RIGHT? 239 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,133 - YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 240 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,633 I MEAN, YOU SHOULDN'T GO 241 00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:46,033 IF YOU'RE JUST GOIN' THROUGH THE MOTIONS. 242 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:48,333 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 243 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,200 - WHAT? I'M AGREEING WITH YOU. 244 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,133 - NO, YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY. 245 00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,267 - NO, I'M NOT. 246 00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:55,167 - YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY MOTHER. 247 00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:58,300 - WHY DO YOU HAVE TO INSULT ME? 248 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,933 WE'RE TALKING. 249 00:12:01,933 --> 00:12:05,300 AND, BESIDES, YOU'RE THE ONE 250 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,900 THAT HAD TO EAT A WHOLE PINT OF ICE CREAM. 251 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,533 IF YOU'RE FEELING GUILTY, IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF ME. 252 00:12:09,533 --> 00:12:12,533 - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 253 00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:15,867 I PRACTICE BEING A GOOD PERSON EVERY DAY, OKAY? 254 00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:17,867 I'M A DECENT FELLOW. 255 00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:21,133 I--I DO GOOD THINGS. 256 00:12:21,133 --> 00:12:23,367 I ALWAYS LEAVE A BIG TIP. 257 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,167 IF A SQUIRREL RUNS IN FRONT OF THE CAR, 258 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,667 DO I NOT SWERVE? 259 00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:30,833 I'M CONSIDERATE OF PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. 260 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,233 REMEMBER THE PLUMBER WHO CAME OVER WITH THE BIG EYE? 261 00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:38,633 I TREATED HIM LIKE A COMPLETELY NORMAL PERSON, OKAY? 262 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,700 SO WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY 263 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:43,000 TO PROVE MY GOODNESS? 264 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,367 I'M LIVING IT. 265 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,767 - WELL, YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU ARE SO GOOD DURING THE WEEK, 266 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:55,033 MAYBE ON SUNDAYS, WE SHOULD HAVE EVERYBODY COME OVER HERE 267 00:12:55,033 --> 00:12:57,167 AND SIT AROUND YOU. 268 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,433 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 269 00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,967 WHY DO YOU GO, MISS HOLY... 270 00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:07,833 MOLY? 271 00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:09,467 - WHY DO I GO? 272 00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:10,567 - YEAH. 273 00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:13,300 - I GO, YOU KNOW, TO THANK GOD 274 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,433 FOR YOU AND THE KIDS 275 00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:17,367 AND TO PRAY FOR THE STRENGTH 276 00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:19,600 TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER WEEK WITH YOU AND THE KIDS. 277 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,167 - OKAY. YEAH. 278 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,667 - NO. NO, REALLY. 279 00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:25,833 YOU KNOW, I GO TO GET RE-ENERGIZED, 280 00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:28,033 TO BE PART OF SOMETHING THAT'S BIGGER THAN ME 281 00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:30,000 AND MY LITTLE PROBLEMS. 282 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,300 YOU KNOW, IT REMINDS ME 283 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,067 THAT I'M NOT THE BE-ALL AND END-ALL. 284 00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:36,000 THERE'S SOMETHING OUT THERE THAT'S GREATER THAN ME. 285 00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:42,933 - WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING? 286 00:13:42,933 --> 00:13:44,500 - AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? 287 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,367 I LIKE THE FEELING OF COMMUNITY, THE TRADITION, 288 00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:50,367 AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT'S BUGGING YOUR FATHER. 289 00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:53,233 YOU KNOW, HE WANTED TO PASS HIS FAITH ONTO YOU. 290 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,233 IT'S PROBABLY THE ONLY VALUABLE THING 291 00:13:55,233 --> 00:13:57,233 THAT HE THINKS HE CAN GIVE YOU, 292 00:13:57,233 --> 00:14:01,100 AND YOU'VE REJECTED IT. 293 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,100 - OKAY, I NEED MORE ICE CREAM. 294 00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:08,400 YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE 295 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,133 WOULD HAVE MADE FUN OF THAT PLUMBER, OKAY? 296 00:14:10,133 --> 00:14:12,167 BIG MUPPET-EYE GUY. 297 00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:20,033 - HEY, YOU WORKIN' THE CHURCH CARNIVAL NEXT WEEKEND? 298 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:23,200 - YEAH, MY WIFE SIGNED ME UP FOR THE DUNKING BOOTH AGAIN. 299 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,600 SHE LOVES SEEING ME WET. 300 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,333 - HEY, RAY'S HERE! [laughs] 301 00:14:34,167 --> 00:14:37,400 - AND ALSO WITH YOU. 302 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,033 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? 303 00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:41,100 - NOTHING. GOING TO CHURCH. 304 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:42,300 - HOW COME? 305 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,333 - I...JUST FELT LIKE IT. 306 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:46,200 - YEAH, WELL, WE DON'T NEED YOU PART-TIMERS 307 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,000 DROPPING BY WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT. 308 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000 IT SCREWS UP THE PARKING. 309 00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:54,967 - I'M THINKIN' OF MAKING THIS A REGULAR THING. 310 00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:57,900 - YEAH, RIGHT. 311 00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,533 - NO, I'M SERIOUS. 312 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,633 - YOU WANT TO COME EVERY SUNDAY? 313 00:15:01,633 --> 00:15:03,100 - DO THEY HAVE IT EVERY SUNDAY? 314 00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,667 YEAH. EVERY SUNDAY. 315 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,233 - YEAH, UNTIL YOUR MOTHER'S GUILT WEARS OFF. 316 00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:10,333 - NO, NO, IT WASN'T HER. 317 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:12,667 LOOK, YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH? 318 00:15:12,667 --> 00:15:14,600 IT WAS YOU. 319 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,533 I WANT TO SET AN EXAMPLE FOR MY KIDS, YOU KNOW, 320 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:20,367 LIKE YOU DID. 321 00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:24,500 - WHAT ARE YOU, BEING A WISE GUY? 322 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,533 - NO. I MEAN IT. 323 00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:29,667 - OH, YEAH? 324 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,100 - YEAH. 325 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,533 - LOOK AT YOU. 326 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:35,700 - MMM! 327 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:39,100 - US BARONES, WE CLEAN UP PRETTY GOOD, EH? 328 00:15:40,533 --> 00:15:42,167 - HEY, IT'S THE OFFERTORY, PEOPLE. 329 00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:43,367 WHERE ARE MY USHERS? 330 00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:44,767 LET'S GO. LET'S GO. 331 00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:45,767 GET THE LEAD OUT. COME ON. 332 00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:47,167 COME ON. GO, GO, GO, GO! 333 00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:48,700 - FATHER HUBLEY, GOOD NEWS. 334 00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:53,067 RAYMOND MY SON IS COMING BACK TO THE CHURCH. 335 00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:56,067 - REALLY? 336 00:15:57,533 --> 00:15:58,967 - EVERY SUNDAY. 337 00:15:58,967 --> 00:16:01,367 - WELCOME BACK, RAYMOND. 338 00:16:04,633 --> 00:16:06,900 FRANK, YOU WAITING FOR AN ENGRAVED INVITATION? 339 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,167 COME ON. 340 00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:17,967 - WELL, WELL, WELL, 341 00:16:17,967 --> 00:16:20,400 THE PRODIGAL SON RETURNS. 342 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,500 OF COURSE, NO ONE APPLAUDS A FAITHFUL SON, 343 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,767 BECAUSE THE FAITHFUL SON NEVER LEAVES. 344 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:29,633 - THE FAITHFUL SON HAS NOWHERE TO GO. 345 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,567 - SO WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE, RAYMOND? 346 00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:35,733 - NOTHIN'. I WAS THINKING ABOUT DAD AND-- 347 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,700 - OH, YOU'RE COMIN' BACK BECAUSE OF DAD. 348 00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:40,233 - YEAH. EVERY SUNDAY. THAT'S RIGHT. 349 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,700 - AND YOU'RE GONNA SIT IN THE PEWS 350 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:42,700 AND BE WITH THE FAMILY? 351 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,833 - HEY, IF DAD CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT. 352 00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:47,067 - [chuckling] 353 00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:48,300 - WHAT? 354 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,967 - DAD DOESN'T DO IT. 355 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:53,033 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 356 00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:54,267 - I DO IT. 357 00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:55,800 MOM, DEBRA, THE KIDS DO IT. 358 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,467 BUT DAD? HE'S AN USHER. 359 00:16:58,467 --> 00:16:59,800 - SO? 360 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,967 - SO THAT MEANS HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME OUT HERE, 361 00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:03,467 NOT IN THERE. 362 00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:05,467 BACK HERE, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO ALL THAT-- 363 00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:08,200 AS HE PUTS IT-- "MUMBO JUMBO." 364 00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:12,600 - GOD OF ALL CREATION. 365 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,967 [people chanting] 366 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,367 - THAT'S RIGHT, RAY. 367 00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:18,067 OH, YEAH, OCCASIONALLY, HE'LL GO DOWN THE AISLE 368 00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:19,167 WITH THE COLLECTION BASKET 369 00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:20,633 AND WINK AT THE PRETTY LADIES, 370 00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:21,600 AND HE HUSTLES BACK 371 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,967 TO COUNT THE MONEY AND CLOCKS OUT. 372 00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:25,933 IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SET-UP. 373 00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:28,300 MOM CAN'T GET ON HIS CASE FOR NOT GOING TO MASS. 374 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:31,000 HE'S HERE EVERY SUNDAY SERVING THE LORD. 375 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,600 HE'S JUST DOIN' IT FROM THE FIRST-CLASS LOUNGE. 376 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:40,600 - OH, MY GOD. 377 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,800 DEBRA TOLD ME THIS WAS THE BEST PART OF HIM. 378 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,067 - WELL... 379 00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:48,800 - I KNEW THERE WAS NO BEST PART OF HIM. 380 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:53,333 OH, AND I JUST PROMISED IN FRONT OF GOD AND EVERYBODY. 381 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:57,400 - ALL RIGHT, BOYS, COUNT 'EM UP! 382 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,467 - HEY, FRANK, GET A LOAD OF ROSEANNE KELLY TODAY? 383 00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:01,433 WHOO-OOH. 384 00:18:01,433 --> 00:18:02,900 - YEAH. WITH THE LOW-CUT THING? 385 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,433 I ALMOST GAVE HER A DOLLAR. 386 00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:06,200 [laughter] 387 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,700 - PRAISE THE LORD! [laughter] 388 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:11,667 - LOOKS LIKE I'M AHEAD HERE, BOYS. 389 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:15,333 OOH, LOOK AT THIS, A $50 BILL. 390 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:18,033 SOMEONE DID SOMETHIN' TO SOMEBODY. 391 00:18:18,033 --> 00:18:20,267 - HOLD IT. HOLD IT. THIS IS IT? 392 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,867 THIS IS WHAT YOU DO EVERY SUNDAY? 393 00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:24,333 - WHAT? - THIS. 394 00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:26,200 THIS--LAUGHIN' AND-- AND TALKIN' ABOUT WOMEN 395 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,867 AND BETTIN' ON WHO COLLECTED THE MOST MONEY? 396 00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:30,867 ISN'T THIS WHERE JESUS IS SUPPOSED TO COME IN 397 00:18:30,867 --> 00:18:33,000 AND TURN THIS TABLE OVER? 398 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,933 - SINCE WHEN DID YOU START WEARIN' SANDALS? 399 00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:41,433 - [laughs] 400 00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,333 - YOU'RE SO FULL OF IT, DAD, YOU KNOW? 401 00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:44,667 ACTING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY, 402 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:46,367 TELLIN' ME THAT I'M GONNA BURN IN... 403 00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,400 YOU KNOW WHERE, THIS IS IT? 404 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,667 THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED TO PASS ONTO ME, 405 00:18:49,667 --> 00:18:51,100 YOUR LITTLE SPORTSMAN'S LODGE? 406 00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,333 YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT. 407 00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:53,733 I'M NOT GOIN' TO CHURCH, OKAY? 408 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:54,933 'CAUSE I DON'T NEED YOUR HYPOCRISY. 409 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,133 - "HYPOCRISY." 410 00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:59,100 - OOH, HYPOCRISY. OOH! 411 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,967 - WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE? 412 00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:03,067 THERE'S NO HYPOCRISY. 413 00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:04,367 I MADE A COMMITMENT TO THE LORD, 414 00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:05,933 AND I'M HERE EVERY SUNDAY, HELPING. 415 00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:08,167 IF YOU WANT TO BREAK YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOUR FAMILY, 416 00:19:08,167 --> 00:19:10,200 TO FATHER HUBLEY, AND TO GOD, 417 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,867 GO RIGHT AHEAD. 418 00:19:11,867 --> 00:19:13,000 DON'T WORRY. 419 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,633 IT'S A DRY HEAT. 420 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,300 - FINE. ALL RIGHT. 421 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,633 I'M NOT GONNA BREAK MY COMMITMENT. 422 00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:21,200 I SAID I'M COMING EVERY WEEK, 423 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,667 AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 424 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,100 NOT ONLY THAT, 425 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,733 I WOULD LIKE TO VOLUNTEER TO BE AN USHER. 426 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:30,967 - WHAT? 427 00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:32,133 - I WANT TO BE AN USHER. COME ON, DAD. 428 00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:33,333 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 429 00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:34,800 YOU AND ME, WE COULD USHER TOGETHER. 430 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,567 - YOU MEAN, YOU WANNA BE AN USHER LIKE YOUR OLD MAN? 431 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:38,667 [laughter] 432 00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:41,433 - WHAT? WHY? WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 433 00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:43,200 - YOU KNOW HOW LONG THE WAITING LIST IS? 434 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:47,267 IT TOOK ME 20 YEARS TO BECOME AN USHER. 435 00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:50,067 - OH, OH, WELL, I COULD BE A FILL-IN GUY, 436 00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,933 YOU KNOW, FOR WHEN SOMEBODY GETS SICK. 437 00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:53,300 YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD. 438 00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,800 - SORRY, KID, I PROMISED THAT TO YOUR BROTHER. 439 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,667 - OH, I HATE THAT GUY. 440 00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:06,200 - LOOK, YOU ALREADY MISSED HALF THE MASS HERE. 441 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,000 COME ON, YOU BETTER GET BACK IN THERE 442 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,733 IF YOU WANT THIS ONE TO COUNT. 443 00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:11,067 - ALL RIGHT, BUT--BUT-- 444 00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:14,200 - HEY, LOOK, I GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO HERE, SON. 445 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,200 GO AND JOIN YOUR FAMILY. 446 00:20:20,433 --> 00:20:23,167 - ALL RIGHT, I'M HERE. 447 00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,933 - ANYBODY WATCH THE KNICKS GAME LAST NIGHT? 448 00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:32,433 - YEAH. IT WAS GREAT. 449 00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:40,700 - FATHER, YOU ARE HOLY INDEED, 450 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,833 AND ALL CREATION RIGHTLY GIVES YOU PRAISE. 451 00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:43,867 - WHAT? 452 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,267 - NOTHING. 453 00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:46,667 THIS IS NICE. 454 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:49,167 - ...THROUGH YOUR SON JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD. 455 00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:51,167 BY THE WORKING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, 456 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,400 FROM AGE TO AGE 457 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,467 YOU GATHER A PEOPLE TO YOURSELF. 458 00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:57,133 SO THAT FROM EAST TO WEST... 459 00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:01,400 TO THE GLORY OF YOUR NAME. 460 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,533 [sermon continues indistinctly] 461 00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:27,100 - [warbles] 462 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,267 - RAYMOND. 463 00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:46,733 - PEACE BE WITH YOU.