1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,500 - WHY, HUH? 2 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,100 WHY WOULD YOU TAKE JOANNE'S CARD? 3 00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,733 - WHAT? I CAN TAKE HER CARD. 4 00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,033 YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN I'M GOING TO NEED SOME... 5 00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:12,867 DENTAL INSURANCE. 6 00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:16,000 - YEAH, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A REASON SHE'S YOUR EX-WIFE. 7 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,667 - ALL RIGHT ALREADY. HEY, DEB. 8 00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:19,467 - YOU KNOW, I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, 9 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:22,367 BUT I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU TOOK THAT CARD. 10 00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:24,333 [grunts] WHY DO I EVEN-- 11 00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:27,200 WEREN'T YOU TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK WITH AMY? 12 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,500 I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH AMY 13 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:33,233 AND UNHAPPY WITH JOANNE THE NUTCRACKER. 14 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,400 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 15 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,800 YOU AND RAY DO WHAT YOU WANT. 16 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,833 - ME? 17 00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:41,200 - ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP. 18 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,867 YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO-- 19 00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:45,567 I DON'T KNOW. 20 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,967 - I SAID ANNOUNCE ME, FRANK. 21 00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:50,267 WHAT KIND OF ANNOUNCING IS THAT? 22 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,600 - OH, JUST DO IT. 23 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,333 EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A BIG DEAL. 24 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:54,667 - DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING? 25 00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:55,767 IS THAT WHY YOU'RE HERE? 26 00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,300 - WHY DON'T YOU JUMP A COW'S-- 27 00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:59,533 - AAH! HEY, HEY. 28 00:00:59,533 --> 00:01:01,300 WHAT? 29 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,833 - WE'RE GOING TO ITALY. 30 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:06,433 - YEAH. 31 00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:09,367 - FOREVER? 32 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,133 - WE ARE ALL GOING TO ITALY. 33 00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,100 - WHAT? - FOR TWO WEEKS! 34 00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,500 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - HOW? 35 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,533 - YOU SEE, IT IS A BIG DEAL. 36 00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:22,700 AS YOU KNOW, MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP, 37 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,767 AND I HAVE SECRETLY BEEN PUTTING ASIDE MONEY 38 00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:27,833 FOR 45 YEARS. 39 00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:29,700 AND THIS IS WHAT I WANT. 40 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,600 - I WANT HALF THAT MONEY. - OH. 41 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,633 - I WANT ALL THAT MONEY. 42 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,567 THAT MONEY'S MINE. - QUIET. 43 00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,833 SO I'VE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH MY MOTHER'S COUSIN COLLETTA, 44 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:39,400 WHO LIVES IN A LITTLE VILLAGE OUTSIDE OF ROME. 45 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,267 AND WE'RE INVITED. 46 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:45,533 AND I'M PAYING-- THE WHOLE FAMILY! 47 00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:48,067 - ME TOO? 48 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,133 - OF COURSE YOU, DEAR! YOU'RE FAMILY! 49 00:01:50,133 --> 00:01:52,800 - OH! 50 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,933 [laughter] 51 00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:57,433 - ME TOO? 52 00:01:57,433 --> 00:01:59,200 - YES, YES, AND THE KIDS TOO! 53 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,833 EVERYONE. 54 00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:04,333 - YOU KNOW, MAYBE I CAN TELL MY LADY TROUBLES TO THE POPE. 55 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,967 - LOOK AT IT. IT'S A LITTLE, TINY VILLAGE-- 56 00:02:05,967 --> 00:02:08,267 - OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! 57 00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,600 THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! - YEAH, LISTEN, LISTEN. 58 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,600 ALL RIGHT, STOP DANCING. STOP, STOP. LISTEN. 59 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,867 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A VACATION WITH MY FAMILY? 60 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,267 OKAY? - YEAH. 61 00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,200 - DON'T WE WANT A VACATION FROM MY FAMILY? 62 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,667 - IF THEY'RE GOING TO BOTHER ME ANYWAY, 63 00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:22,000 I'LL TAKE BOTHERED IN ITALY. [laughs] 64 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,667 - BUT WE WERE--WE WERE GOING TO GO TO THE JERSEY SHORE. 65 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,933 - ITALY. 66 00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:30,867 FREE TRIP TO ITALY. 67 00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:34,467 - I DON'T KNOW. 68 00:02:34,467 --> 00:02:38,100 I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN OTHER CULTURES. 69 00:02:40,467 --> 00:02:42,867 - [laughing] OKAY. 70 00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,667 YOU KNOW, IN THE PAST, 71 00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:49,600 YOUR...DUMBNESS HAS GOTTEN IN THE WAY 72 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,633 OF JUST, LIKE, A FEW THINGS THAT I'VE WANTED TO DO: 73 00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:56,633 THE BOOK CLUB, THEATER, HAVING CONVERSATIONS. 74 00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:58,767 BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY THIS ONE THING, 75 00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:01,400 AND WE WON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS IT ANYMORE. 76 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,233 YOU'RE NOT BLOWING THIS FOR ME, PAL! 77 00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:07,467 WE'RE GOING TO ITALY! 78 00:03:07,467 --> 00:03:09,200 [laughter] 79 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,333 - OH, I'M SO HAPPY. 80 00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:18,300 [slow Italian music] 81 00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:11,600 LOOK AT THIS. 82 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,133 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WE'RE HERE. 83 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,567 - WHO'S THAT? 84 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,533 - OH, HI. - NICE TO MEET YOU. 85 00:04:53,767 --> 00:04:57,100 - WE, UH, ACTUALLY HAD A LOT TO EAT ON THE PLANE. 86 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,333 ALL RIGHT. 87 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,533 - HUH, KIDS? THIS LOOKS GOOD. OOH, LOOK AT THIS. 88 00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:04,600 all: MMM. 89 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,933 - OH, MY GOD. THIS IS AMAZING! 90 00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,267 RAY, TASTE THIS. 91 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,767 - NO, I CAN'T-- I CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING. 92 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,833 I GOT A COLD FROM THAT DAMN AIR CONDITIONER ON THE VAN. 93 00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:14,400 IT'S FREEZING IN THERE. 94 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,767 UH. 95 00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:19,733 - JEEZ ALOO! 96 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,100 I MARRIED THE WRONG BROAD. 97 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:30,767 - [loudly and slowly] YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME. 98 00:05:54,933 --> 00:05:57,067 - OH! OH, THIS IS WONDERFUL. 99 00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,933 OH, I LOVE THIS. 100 00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:02,500 - OKAY, HERE WE GO. 101 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,100 - THIS IS IT? 102 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,533 - WHAT, RAY? 103 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,233 - NOTHING. 104 00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:10,800 [blows nose] 105 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,467 HAD MORE ROOM IN COACH. 106 00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:16,567 - OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS! 107 00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:18,867 - WHAT? 108 00:06:18,867 --> 00:06:21,033 - [gasps] 109 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,033 OH, MY GOD. 110 00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:29,167 I'M GOING TO CRY. 111 00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:04,967 [crying] CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? 112 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,433 - IT'S NICE--THE WATER. YEAH. 113 00:07:08,433 --> 00:07:12,667 THAT ROOM'S KIND OF SMALL THOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK? 114 00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,333 I MEAN, WE'RE GOING TO BE JAMMED IN THERE 115 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,067 WITH THE KIDS FOR TWO WEEKS. 116 00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,467 DID YOU LOOK AT THE PLACE, REALLY? 117 00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:24,067 IT'S ALL KIND OF... OLD. 118 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:26,767 IT'S--IT'S JUST-- 119 00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:28,833 THIS--THIS IS NOT THE IDEAL VACATION 120 00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:32,733 FOR A GUY WHO WORKS LIKE A DOG HIS WHOLE YEAR. 121 00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:35,033 [sniffling] 122 00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:36,667 IT'S CHILLY NOW. 123 00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:39,733 I'M GOING IN. MY NOSE IS RUNNING HERE. 124 00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:41,667 [sniffling] 125 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:56,200 - [heavy Italian accent] I SPEAK ENGLISH LITTLE. 126 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:01,167 - OH, YEAH? HEY, BEAUTIFUL. 127 00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:02,800 - I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 128 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,300 IT'S BETTER. 129 00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:12,500 NOT SO MUCH MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH. 130 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,367 - WHAT? 131 00:08:15,367 --> 00:08:20,200 - MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH. 132 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,600 - OH, I GET IT. YEAH. 133 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,233 [in high-pitched voice] BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH! 134 00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:28,767 - SI. BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH! 135 00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:30,667 - MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH! 136 00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:33,433 - BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH! - MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH! 137 00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,500 [laughter] 138 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,367 BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH. 139 00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:50,667 - ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. 140 00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,600 NOW WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO DAWDLE. 141 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,100 OH. WE'VE GOT TO START SIGHT-SEEING 142 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,867 IF WE'RE GOING TO STICK TO MY ITINERARY. 143 00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:57,967 GET UP, FRANK. 144 00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,367 COME ON, EVERYONE. 145 00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:01,500 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN, FUN WITH GRANDMA. 146 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:05,300 COME ON, COME ON. WHOO! HERE WE GO. 147 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:08,433 - SHE DID PAY FOR THE TRIP. 148 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:14,033 - AND NOW WE PAY. 149 00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,933 - WHO WANTS THE BEST ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD? 150 00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:22,067 - [blows nose] 151 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:26,533 COME ON, CHEAP FOREIGN NAPKINS. 152 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,433 - HEY. 153 00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:31,167 - COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU ALL MOPEY ABOUT? 154 00:09:31,167 --> 00:09:32,600 - I DON'T KNOW. 155 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,467 I CAN'T ENJOY MYSELF BECAUSE OF MY DILEMMA. 156 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,067 - IT'S NOT A DILEMMA. 157 00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,500 - IT IS A DILEMMA, RAYMOND. 158 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,233 YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH DILEMMAS. 159 00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:43,200 I GOT AMY, BUT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT JOANNE. 160 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,400 I CAN'T SORT OUT MY FEELINGS. 161 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,333 AND I'M IN THE MOST GORGEOUS PLACE IN THE WORLD, 162 00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,400 AND I'M SITTING HERE NEXT TO YOU. 163 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,800 - ROBBIE, HERE'S YOUR PEACH. 164 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,333 RAYMOND, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING? 165 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,000 - NO, I-I CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING, MA. 166 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,133 - OH, DON'T BE SICK HERE. 167 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,367 - YOU KNOW, I CALLED JOANNE TODAY. 168 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,867 - WHAT? WHAT, FROM HERE? 169 00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,033 OH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 170 00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:05,700 - I HUNG UP WHEN SHE ANSWERED. 171 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:09,867 I COULDN'T TALK TO HER. COST ME 20 BUCKS. 172 00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:13,667 I'M A LOSER. 173 00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:17,233 IT'S JUST THAT I WANT-- 174 00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:19,800 HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. 175 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,367 - WHAT? 176 00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:25,367 - THIS. THIS--THIS IS THE-- 177 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:30,600 IT'S AS IF I'VE NEVER TASTED A PEACH BEFORE. 178 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,033 MMM, MMM, MMM. 179 00:10:32,033 --> 00:10:33,933 - IT'S AS IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN PUBLIC BEFORE. 180 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:34,967 WOULD YOU STOP IT? 181 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,233 - SCUSATE. 182 00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:38,367 DESIDERATE QUALCOSA DA BERE? 183 00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:44,033 [romantic music playing] 184 00:10:57,733 --> 00:10:59,600 - BUON GIORNO. 185 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,400 - GIORNO. 186 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,933 [Italian accent] YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK? 187 00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:07,367 - SI. 188 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:12,600 - LIMONATA? 189 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,067 - SI. 190 00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:22,167 - EXCUSE, PLEASE. 191 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,367 - RAY, IT'S THAT THING. 192 00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:38,567 IT'S THAT THING, YOU KNOW, WHAT DAD 193 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,067 ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT, THE THUNDERBOLT. 194 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,700 - WHO, THE GELATO GIRL? 195 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,333 - DON'T CALL HER THAT. 196 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:45,200 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S WHAT SHE IS. 197 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,833 ALL RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW HER LONG-TERM GOALS. 198 00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,000 - EXCUSE, PLEASE. 199 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,667 - OH, OH, OH, OH-- OH, MY LORD. 200 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,600 G-GRAZIE. 201 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,667 - OKAY. I'M GOING TO GO BLOW MY NOSE IN THE TABLECLOTH. 202 00:11:58,433 --> 00:12:02,500 - SO DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? 203 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:05,633 - I--A LITTLE. [giggles] 204 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,933 - SO YOU'RE IN GELATO? 205 00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:12,500 - YES, FOR NOW. 206 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:16,100 - STEFANIA! E L'ORA DI LAVORARE! 207 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:19,367 - OH, I THINK YOUR BOSS WANTS YOU BACK. 208 00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,100 - I'D BETTER GO. - WAIT. 209 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,200 - STEFANIA! 210 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,633 - ALL RIGHT, PAL. JEEZ. 211 00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:28,233 HE'S GOT TO LEARN HOW TO CHILL OUT A LITTLE. 212 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:29,833 WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY? 213 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,200 - HE IS MY FATHER. 214 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,833 - [exhaling deeply] OH. 215 00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:36,367 THAT'S NICE. 216 00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:39,100 HE'S A HARD WORKER. 217 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,800 - I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN? 218 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,733 - SEE ME AGAIN? 219 00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:47,033 OH. OH. YES. 220 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,467 - STEFANIA! 221 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,067 - UH, CIAO. 222 00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,200 - CIAO. 223 00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:05,400 - HEY, SEXY. [laughs] 224 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,133 MWAH. - WHAT DO YOU WANT? 225 00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:08,733 - HEY, LISTEN, ROME TODAY. 226 00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:10,700 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? IT'S ONLY A HALF AN HOUR AWAY. 227 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,700 AND COLLETTA'S GOING TO WATCH THE KIDS. 228 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,400 - YEAH, GREAT. 229 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,833 I HATE THIS DAMN THING. 230 00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:18,833 [sneezes] 231 00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:22,133 SPRAYER HAS NO PRESSURE. 232 00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,933 IT'S LIKE A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY. 233 00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:27,433 STUPID PLACE. 234 00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:30,000 - WOULD YOU LIGHTEN UP? LOOK WHERE WE ARE. 235 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,333 - I AM LOOKING. 236 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:34,467 I'M TAKING A BATH LIKE COLUMBUS. 237 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:40,067 HOW 'BOUT THAT GIORGIO GUY? 238 00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,667 - WHAT? 239 00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:45,000 - I SAW HIM DRINKING MY LISTERINE, THAT'S WHAT. 240 00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:48,733 THIS WHOLE PLACE IS ANNOYING. 241 00:13:48,733 --> 00:13:51,800 YOU GOT TO CHANGE MONEY. THAT'S A SCAM. 242 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,467 NOBODY SEES THAT? HOW CAN THEY NOT SEE THAT? 243 00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:56,867 TELL YOU WHAT, SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT NEW JERSEY-- 244 00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:59,433 - [shrieks] RAY! TURN THE WATER--TURN IT DOWN! 245 00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:01,833 - I DON'T-- - PUT IT DOWN! 246 00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:05,400 - AAH! HEY! ARE YOU CRAZY? 247 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,200 I'M TAKING A SHOWER! 248 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,467 - [speaking Italian] 249 00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:12,400 - OH, MY GOD! OH, GOD! 250 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,333 - ALZA IL BRACCIO! - NO! 251 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:15,567 - ALZA IL BRACCIO! 252 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:17,167 - I WOULD DO WHAT SHE SAYS, RAY. - NO! 253 00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:19,167 - ALZA IL BRACCIO! 254 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,833 - COULD EVERYBODY LEAVE, PLEASE? 255 00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:23,900 - HEY, YOU WANT ME TO GET THE VIDEO CAMERA? 256 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,200 - ALZA IL BRACCIO! 257 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,533 - NO! WILL YOU STOP HITTING ME? ALL RIGHT? 258 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,667 YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME. I'M AN AMERICAN. 259 00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,233 - ALZA IL BRACCIO! 260 00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:40,667 ALZA IL BRACCIO! 261 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,600 - THIS WASN'T IN THE BROCHURE. 262 00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:58,300 - OH, LOOK HOW CUTE. 263 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,067 - OKAY. 264 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,833 - WE'RE ALL GETTING IN THAT? 265 00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:08,467 GOOD LUCK, SWEETIE. 266 00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:12,533 [laughter] 267 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,667 - I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO FIT IN THERE EITHER. 268 00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:23,067 - MAYBE YOU CAN SIT ON TOP AND PUSH WITH YOUR ARMS. 269 00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,733 - OH! - HELLO. 270 00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:31,667 - HELLO--THERE. 271 00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:32,833 - WHERE DID YOU GO? 272 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:35,433 - UH, I WAS, YOU KNOW, GOING TO GO TO ROME, 273 00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:39,000 LOOK AROUND, ROAM AROUND. 274 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,467 - UH, COME WITH ME. I CAN SHOW YOU. 275 00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:43,933 - OKAY. 276 00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:46,200 - NOT YOU. GET BACK. 277 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,733 GET BACK! 278 00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,267 - I SHOW YOU ROMA 279 00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:53,933 AND THE LAGO DI BRACCIANO, WHERE I GROW UP. OKAY? 280 00:15:53,933 --> 00:15:55,967 - YES. VERY NICE. 281 00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:59,433 - UH, HURRY UP, BEFORE MY FATHER SEES. 282 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,767 - ROBERT. 283 00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:05,533 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS THIS? 284 00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:07,933 - THIS IS LUCK. TOOTS, OVER HERE. 285 00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,500 - CIAO! 286 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,267 - CIAO. 287 00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:14,067 [horn honks] 288 00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:15,233 - LOOK AT THIS. 289 00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,600 ROBERT GETS THE GELATO GIRL, 290 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,933 AND I GET HOSED DOWN BY MRS. MUSSOLINI. 291 00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:26,067 [upbeat Italian music] 292 00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:57,233 - OH, LOOK AT THAT. 293 00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:58,967 - AND THE COLORS OF IT-- THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. 294 00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,200 - THIS IS SOMETHING! 295 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,667 - LOOK AT THE-- LOOK AT THE FOUNTAIN. 296 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:05,500 OH, RAYMOND, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE HERE. 297 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,167 THESE ARE THE SPANISH STEPS. 298 00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:09,433 - SPANISH? 299 00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:11,433 I KNEW WE WERE WALKING TOO LONG. 300 00:18:11,433 --> 00:18:13,833 - THE REASON THEY'RE CALLED THAT, ACCORDING TO MY BOOK-- 301 00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:15,233 - OKAY, SORRY I ASKED. 302 00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:16,767 - OKAY, COME ON. WE'RE GOING UP. 303 00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:18,067 - DO WE HAVE TO, REALLY? 304 00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:20,433 - RAY, THIS IS THE SPANISH STEPS! 305 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,133 - WHERE'S THE SPANISH ELEVATOR? 306 00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:24,400 - I'LL GO WITH YOU. - THANK YOU, MARIE. 307 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,400 ONLY YOU WOULD THINK OF THESE AS STAIRS. 308 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,233 - WHAT ARE THEY, THEN? 309 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,833 - HEY, LET ME CARRY THAT STUFF FOR YOU, CARA MIA. 310 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:34,767 - THANK YOU, FRANK. 311 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:45,067 - ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR. 312 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:48,700 WALK, WALK, WALK, WALK. 313 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:52,133 FIVE, SIX, SEVEN. 314 00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,633 - [speaking Italian] 315 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,967 - EXCUSE ME? 316 00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:57,733 - SEI BELLISSIMA, VERY BEAUTIFUL. 317 00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:59,867 - [laughs] 318 00:18:59,867 --> 00:19:01,000 - NICE HAIR. 319 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,333 - OH, THANK YOU. 320 00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,333 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. 321 00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:07,167 - CIAO, BEAUTIFUL GIRL. - OKAY, BYE-BYE. 322 00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:08,433 - DON'T SAY "BYE" TO THEM. 323 00:19:08,433 --> 00:19:10,033 - WHY NOT? THEY WERE VERY NICE. 324 00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:11,633 - VERY NICE. YOU TALKED TO THEM. 325 00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:13,233 NOW THEY'RE GOING TO FOLLOW YOU HOME. 326 00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:15,467 - OH, WOULD YOU STOP IT? - NO, YOU STOP. 327 00:19:15,467 --> 00:19:18,700 YOU LIKE THAT, "HEY, CACHA POOCHIE." 328 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,333 NOW, LISTEN, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF, OKAY? 329 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,567 THEY GOT ONE THING ON THEIR MIND. 330 00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:25,700 THAT'S HOW ITALIAN MEN ARE. 331 00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:29,567 - NOT ALL OF THEM. 332 00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,067 - HEY. WHAT? 333 00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:34,667 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 334 00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:38,467 HEY, YOU GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO BUT OGLE WOMEN? 335 00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:41,700 YOU SHOULD START WORKING ON A STAND-UP SHOWER. 336 00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:45,600 AW! 337 00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:51,733 ANYWAY, SO THE KIDS WANT TO SLEEP 338 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,133 WITH GRANDMA AND DEBRA, 339 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:56,700 SO I'M GOING TO SLEEP HERE WITH YOU, OKAY? 340 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,933 - NO PROBLEM. 341 00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:04,367 JUST DON'T HOG THE COVERS, AND IT'LL BE AN UPGRADE FOR ME. 342 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,500 YOU GETTING UNDRESSED OR WHAT? 343 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,367 - I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU. 344 00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:12,500 I'LL TAKE SOMETHING OFF; YOU PUT SOMETHING ON. 345 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,433 - GOOD NIGHT, THERE, SON. 346 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,733 - YEAH. 347 00:20:18,733 --> 00:20:22,067 - [grunts] ALL RIGHT. 348 00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:24,200 - GOOD NIGHT. 349 00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:33,433 - IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE, HUH? 350 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,100 - OH. YEAH. YEAH, GOOD NIGHT. 351 00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:43,800 - I'LL TELL YOU, WHEN YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME 352 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,600 SHE'D BEEN HIDING THAT MONEY FROM ME, 353 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,267 I WAS THINKING WHAT DRESS TO LAY HER OUT IN. 354 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,167 BUT NOW I'M HERE... 355 00:20:58,167 --> 00:21:02,733 IN FRIGGIN' ITALY. 356 00:21:02,733 --> 00:21:06,133 IT'S LIKE A DREAM. 357 00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:09,733 I'M FROM LYNBROOK. I WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE. 358 00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:13,067 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE IN SUCH A PLACE. 359 00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:16,967 - I WAS JUST WONDERING, 360 00:21:16,967 --> 00:21:21,067 COULD YOUR LEG BE IN ANOTHER PLACE? 361 00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:30,333 - I HAPPEN TO BE SERIOUS. 362 00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:33,467 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 363 00:21:35,433 --> 00:21:40,300 - NO, I KNOW I-I COMPLAIN ABOUT STUFF AND ALL THAT, 364 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:45,567 BUT... I'M A LUCKY MAN. 365 00:21:45,567 --> 00:21:49,100 [sniffling] 366 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,233 [crying] I'M A VERY LUCKY MAN. 367 00:22:01,133 --> 00:22:04,267 - I'M NOT HOLDING HIM. 368 00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:15,000 - MMM, MMM, MMM! 369 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,767 THANKS FOR ALL THE GELATO, STEFANIA. 370 00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:21,133 ALL THE GELATO YOU WANT-- 371 00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:24,900 YOU HAVE A GREAT LIFE. 372 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:27,767 - I'M GLAD YOU LIKE. 373 00:22:27,767 --> 00:22:30,700 - I LIKE EVERYTHING. 374 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,167 [door opens] 375 00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:58,767 I FULLY INTEND TO PAY FOR THIS.