1 00:00:01,933 --> 00:00:03,333 - HEY, RAY. 2 00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:04,933 - SHUT THE DOOR! SHUT IT! - WHAT? WHY? 3 00:00:04,933 --> 00:00:06,967 - SHUT THE DOOR AND DON'T STEP-- DON'T WALK ANYWHERE! 4 00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:10,500 - YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT, MAN. WHAT'S GOING ON? 5 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:14,267 - I LOST THE HAMSTER, ALLY'S HAMSTER. 6 00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,033 - OH, NO. HE GOT OUT? 7 00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:19,400 - YES, HE GOT OUT. WHAT THE HELL? 8 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:25,667 COME ON. 9 00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:26,667 LOOK, DEBRA AND THE KIDS 10 00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,100 ARE GOING TO BE HOME IN AN HOUR. 11 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:29,600 YOU GOT TO HELP ME LOOK FOR HIM. 12 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,667 - THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR ONE WEEKEND, 13 00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:33,800 AND THE ONLY OTHER LIVING THING IN THE HOUSE 14 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,967 NEEDS TO RUN AWAY. 15 00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:40,467 - YEAH. SHUT UP, ALL RIGHT? 16 00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:42,433 JUST HELP ME LOOK. PUMPERNICKEL! 17 00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,233 - PUMPERNICKEL! PUMPERNICKEL! 18 00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:45,633 PUMPERNICKEL! - HERE, BOY. 19 00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:46,600 HERE, PUMPERNICKEL! 20 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,300 - WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 21 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,200 YOU DON'T CALL HIM LIKE THAT. HE'S A HAMSTER. 22 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,300 HE DOESN'T KNOW HIS NAME. 23 00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:53,500 - WE SHOULD MAKE HAMSTER NOISES. 24 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:57,100 [lips squeaking] 25 00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:05,000 - [lips squeaking] 26 00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:19,167 [silence] 27 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:26,067 YOU COULD USE A MINT. 28 00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:36,233 - [gasps] YOU DREW THAT YOURSELF? 29 00:01:38,033 --> 00:01:39,233 - THEY'RE COMING! 30 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:43,067 [Beethoven's "Ode to Joy"] 31 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,733 [music stops] 32 00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:08,567 [heart beating] 33 00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:15,033 ["Ode to Joy" resumes] 34 00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:19,400 - MA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 35 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,467 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME. 36 00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:21,733 - WOULD YOU LOOK AT THESE CRUMBS? 37 00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:23,733 THE WAY DEBRA KEEPS THIS KITCHEN, 38 00:02:23,733 --> 00:02:27,533 IT'S A MIRACLE THIS PLACE ISN'T INFESTED WITH HAMSTERS. 39 00:02:29,933 --> 00:02:33,867 - HE'S NOT IN THE BASEMENT. 40 00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:35,433 - DAD, JUST SO YOU KNOW-- 41 00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:38,333 WE WANT THE HAMSTER BROUGHT BACK ALIVE. 42 00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,833 - THAT'S UP TO HIM. 43 00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:44,100 - ALL RIGHT, I CHECKED OUT THE ENTIRE TOP FLOOR-- 44 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,500 NO SIGN OF PUMPERNICKEL. 45 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,867 BY THE WAY, 46 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,200 YOU SHOULDN'T HIDE VALUABLES IN YOUR TOP DRAWER, 47 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:53,433 AND YOU COULD USE SOME NEW UNDERWEAR, RAYMOND. 48 00:02:53,433 --> 00:02:55,833 - I'LL PUT IT ON THE LIST, DEAR. 49 00:02:55,833 --> 00:02:58,033 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK, THEY'RE GOING TO BE BACK IN AN HOUR. 50 00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,300 I'M JUST GOING TO GO TO THE PET STORE 51 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,567 AND GET A NEW HAMSTER-- THAT'S ALL. 52 00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,100 - WHOA, WHOA, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 53 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,333 - WHY NOT? WHY NOT? THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE. 54 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:04,833 SHE'LL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. 55 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:07,133 - YOU WOULD LIE TO YOUR DAUGHTER LIKE THAT? 56 00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:08,800 - I'M NOT GOING TO LIE. 57 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,000 I'M JUST GOING TO SAY, "HERE'S YOUR HAMSTER, HONEY." 58 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,367 - I'M TELLING ALLY. 59 00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:15,933 - WILL YOU JUST MIND YOUR BUSINESS? 60 00:03:15,933 --> 00:03:18,267 - LOOK, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND ONE THAT LOOKS THE SAME. 61 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:22,000 - OH, YEAH, WHERE AM I GOING TO FIND A BROWN HAMSTER? 62 00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:25,533 - I CANNOT BE A PARTY TO THAT LIE. 63 00:03:25,533 --> 00:03:29,067 - YOU JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, COPPER. 64 00:03:32,033 --> 00:03:33,367 - DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP. 65 00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,633 - YEAH, HOW ABOUT I MAKE YOU, HUH? 66 00:03:34,633 --> 00:03:36,367 - HUH? HOW ABOUT I'M RIGHT OVER HERE? 67 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:39,067 [overlapping shouting] 68 00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:40,233 - STOP IT! 69 00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:43,333 BE NICE BOYS. 70 00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:45,100 ALL RIGHT, NOW WE ALL NEED A BREAK. 71 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,700 LET'S HAVE A SNACK, 72 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:50,033 AND MAYBE IF PUMPERNICKEL HEARS US ENJOYING OUR FOOD, 73 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:53,133 HE'LL JOIN US. 74 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:56,500 - HE CAN HAVE SOME OF YOURS. HE'S NOT GETTING ANY OF MINE. 75 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,467 - DAD. - WHAT? 76 00:04:03,467 --> 00:04:05,600 - I'M TRYING TO MOVE IT. COULD YOU GET UP? 77 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,867 - GIVE ME A RIDE. 78 00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:11,800 - AAH! 79 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,100 - WHAT IS IT, MA? WHAT? 80 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:21,100 - OH, BOY. THERE HE IS. 81 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,233 - WHERE? 82 00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:23,467 - RIGHT THERE. 83 00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,300 - WHAT? ALL I SEE IS FUDGE POPS. 84 00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:28,533 - LOOK AT THE HAIRY ONE ON THE LEFT. 85 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:42,600 - WHAT? 86 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,167 HOLY CRAP. 87 00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:51,567 - WHAT DID YOU DO? 88 00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:53,233 - WHAT DID I DO? 89 00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:54,500 WHAT, YOU THINK I PUT HIM IN THERE? 90 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,000 I DON'T KNOW HOW HE GOT IN THERE. 91 00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:00,267 - OH, HE CLIMBED INTO AN AIRTIGHT FREEZER BY HIMSELF? 92 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,567 - I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS COULD'VE HAPPENED. 93 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:04,833 I-I CLEANED OUT THE HAMSTER CAGE, 94 00:05:04,833 --> 00:05:06,400 AND I MUST NOT HAVE SNAPPED 95 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,600 THE CAGE BACK TOGETHER TIGHT ENOUGH. 96 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,100 AND WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 97 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,667 THEN I WENT GROCERY SHOPPING. 98 00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:14,200 - DID YOU HAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE TABLE? 99 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,900 - HE MUST HAVE CLIMBED INTO THE BAG 100 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,000 THAT HAD THE FUDGE POPS. 101 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,367 LOOK--LOOK AT HIS WHISKERS. THEY'RE ALL FUDGE-Y. 102 00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:30,167 - HIS LAST MEAL. 103 00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:32,367 - POOR PUMPERNICKEL. 104 00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:33,800 - ALLY IS GOING TO HATE ME. 105 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,800 - HEY, GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE. 106 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,367 - WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE? 107 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:37,867 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 108 00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:39,733 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. HE MAY NOT BE DEAD. 109 00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:41,367 - WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING? 110 00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:44,167 YOU COULD CRACK A WALNUT WITH THAT THING. 111 00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:45,367 - NO, I'M SERIOUS. 112 00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,200 HE MAY BE CRYOGENICALLY PRESERVED 113 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,733 IN A STATE OF SUSPENDED ANIMATION. 114 00:05:50,733 --> 00:05:53,000 - HE'S DEAD! ALL RIGHT? I HAVE TO BUY ANOTHER ONE NOW. 115 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,633 - OKAY, LOOK, NOT NECESSARILY, RAY. 116 00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:56,267 WE MAY BE ABLE TO RESUSCITATE HIM. 117 00:05:56,267 --> 00:06:01,333 - HEY, LET'S TOSS HIM IN THE MICROWAVE. 118 00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:05,000 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. 119 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,467 I'M TAKING OVER THIS OPERATION. 120 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,333 MA, GET ME SOME TOWELS. DAD, I NEED SOME ICE. 121 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,767 RAYMOND, A COOLER. 122 00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:11,500 WE'RE EVACUATING PUMPERNICKEL TO THE VET. 123 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,033 LET'S GO. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. 124 00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:18,000 - ROBERT, THE VET IS NOT GOING TO REVIVE A HAMSTER, OKAY? 125 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,433 THESE ARE DISPOSABLE PETS. 126 00:06:20,433 --> 00:06:22,333 - WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER'S FEELINGS, RAY, HUH? 127 00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:23,733 ARE THOSE DISPOSABLE? 128 00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:26,367 - ALL RIGHT. - NO, IT'S NOT ALL RIGHT! 129 00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:27,867 I HAPPEN TO CARE ABOUT A LITTLE GIRL 130 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:30,367 WHOSE HEART IS GOING TO BREAK IF SHE FINDS OUT 131 00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:32,167 THAT HER DADDY DIDN'T DO EVERYTHING HE COULD 132 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:35,100 TO SAVE THE LIFE OF HER PRECIOUS HAMSTER. 133 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:39,033 NOW, DAMN IT, RAYMOND, GET ME THAT COOLER! 134 00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,767 - HEY, RAY, YOU FORGOT TO FILL THE ICE TRAYS. 135 00:06:43,767 --> 00:06:45,700 - WELL, THEN WE'LL JUST PACK HIM WITH FUDGE POPS. 136 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,800 - WHAT ABOUT THIS BOX OF FISH STICKS? 137 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,800 - OH, THROW THEM IN TOO. 138 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,100 WHEN DEBRA COMES HOME, 139 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:54,467 I'LL SHOW HER HOW TO COOK A REAL FISH. 140 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,167 DEBRA. 141 00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:15,267 FRANK, GET UP. 142 00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:16,800 - HUH? - COME ON. 143 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,600 THIS PLACE IS A MESS. YOU HAVEN'T DONE A THING. 144 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,700 - HEY, LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M TAKING A BREAK. 145 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:28,367 WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? 146 00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:30,300 - I NOT ONLY STRAIGHTENED OUT THE KITCHEN, 147 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,933 I SCRUBBED THE COUNTERTOPS 148 00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:33,600 AND I CLEANED OUT THE FREEZER. 149 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:39,067 - AND YOU CELEBRATE WITH A BOTTLE OF HOOCH? 150 00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,167 - HEY, WE'RE HOME. 151 00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:41,767 - HI, GRANDMA. HI, GRANDPA. 152 00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:42,967 - HEY, SWEETHEART. 153 00:07:42,967 --> 00:07:44,567 - FRANK? 154 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,267 - HI, SWEETHEART. OH, THIS ISN'T MINE. 155 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:50,233 THIS IS MOMMY'S. 156 00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:51,400 - MARIE, WHERE'S RAY? 157 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,000 - OH, RAYMOND HAD TO RUSH OUT, 158 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,633 BUT HE SHOULD BE BACK SOON. 159 00:07:54,633 --> 00:07:57,833 - WHY DOES MY LIVING ROOM LOOK LIKE A FRAT HOUSE? 160 00:07:57,833 --> 00:08:02,533 - I, UH, DIDN'T NOTICE ANY DIFFERENCE, REALLY. 161 00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:03,700 - HI, DADDY. 162 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,933 - OH, HEY. HEY, EVERYBODY, YOU'RE HOME. 163 00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,167 HI. HEY. 164 00:08:08,167 --> 00:08:09,267 HI. HOW WAS YOUR VISIT? 165 00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:11,100 OH, BOY, I MISSED YOU. 166 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,567 HOW'S YOUR FATHER? HOW'S HIS THING? 167 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,133 HE'S GOT A KNEE-- WHAT DID HE HAVE, A KNEE? 168 00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:15,467 OH, HE GOT A NEW CAR-- HE GOT A NEW CAR. 169 00:08:15,467 --> 00:08:19,067 - RAY. RAY. 170 00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,533 W-WHAT HAPPENED HERE? 171 00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:26,967 - OH, NOTHING. UH-UH. WHY? 172 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,400 - WHAT'S THAT? 173 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,567 - OH. 174 00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:31,967 OH, WE, UH-- WE GAVE PUMPERNICKEL A RIDE 175 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,500 IN ROBERT'S POLICE CAR. 176 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:36,900 YEAH, YEAH. HE LIKED IT TOO. 177 00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:41,200 RODE THE WHOLE WAY WITH HIS, UH, HEAD OUT THE WINDOW. 178 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,433 - THIS ISN'T PUMPERNICKEL. 179 00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:49,700 DADDY, WHERE'S PUMPERNICKEL? 180 00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:56,433 - UM... 181 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:01,800 UM... 182 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,633 - PUMPERNICKEL SLEEPS WITH THE FISH STICKS. 183 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,433 YOU KNOW, ALLY, IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING 184 00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:25,133 THAT FREEZING IS A VIRTUALLY PAINLESS WAY TO GO. 185 00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:30,700 - UNLIKE MARRIAGE WHERE THE PAIN IS-- 186 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,100 - FRANK. 187 00:09:37,433 --> 00:09:38,733 - CAN I SEE PUMPERNICKEL? 188 00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,133 - NO, NO, ALLY. 189 00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:42,100 - YEAH, SURE, HONEY, YOU CAN GO SEE HIM. 190 00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,200 - WHAT? 191 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,067 - IT'S IMPORTANT FOR CLOSURE. 192 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,867 - CLOSURE. 193 00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:52,167 READING BOOKS AGAIN? 194 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:55,267 - WHY IS HE COVERED IN CHOCOLATE? 195 00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:01,167 - SOME OF THE FUDGE POPS MUST HAVE MELTED. 196 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,500 - FUDGE POPS? - GIVE ME, GIVE ME! 197 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,933 - NO, NO, NO! GET OUT OF THERE! 198 00:10:03,933 --> 00:10:05,267 - NO, GUYS. STOP THAT. - DON'T TOUCH THOSE. 199 00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:06,500 NO, THAT'S NOT FUDGE IN THERE. 200 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,900 - THERE'S COOKIES IN THE KITCHEN. 201 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,733 GO ON, HONEY. GO, GO, GO. - GO GET A COOKIE. 202 00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:11,167 - COME HERE, SWEETHEART. 203 00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:13,600 YOU KNOW, THE IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW, ALLY, 204 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,733 IS THAT PUMPERNICKEL IS IN HEAVEN. 205 00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:17,733 - NOT REALLY. 206 00:10:17,733 --> 00:10:20,100 - FRANK. 207 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,033 - NOT REAL HEAVEN, NOT PEOPLE HEAVEN. 208 00:10:22,033 --> 00:10:23,767 - THERE'S ONLY ONE HEAVEN. 209 00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:25,167 - FOR YOUR INFORMATION, 210 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,033 THERE'S A WHOLE SEPARATE HEAVEN FOR ANIMALS. 211 00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,733 - JUST WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT? 212 00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:30,833 - IT'S IN THE BIBLE. 213 00:10:30,833 --> 00:10:32,267 - LIKE YOU READ THE BIBLE. 214 00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:35,400 - I'VE READ PLENTY OF DAMN BIBLES. 215 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,467 - DO ALL ANIMALS GO TO HEAVEN OR JUST PETS? 216 00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:47,200 - ALL ANIMALS GO TO PEOPLE HEAVEN 217 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,233 WITH US, DEAR. 218 00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:49,833 - PEOPLE HEAVEN IS FOR PEOPLE. 219 00:10:49,833 --> 00:10:53,333 YOUR GRANDMA'S BEEN HITTING THE SAUCE. 220 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,100 - ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. 221 00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,600 THANKS FOR CLEARING THAT UP. 222 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,500 - DO SOME ANIMALS GO TO HELL? 223 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,067 - WE DON'T USE THOSE WORDS, ALLY. 224 00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:09,033 - BAD ANIMALS GO TO HELL, KID. 225 00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:11,767 BELIEVE YOU ME, I KNOW. 226 00:11:11,767 --> 00:11:13,500 WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, 227 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,567 THERE WAS THIS MEAN OLD GERMAN SHEPHERD NAMED ILSA. 228 00:11:16,567 --> 00:11:18,933 I WAS WALKING TO SCHOOL ONE DAY, 229 00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:21,733 AND I MUST HAVE CROSSED TOO CLOSE TO HER TERRITORY. 230 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:23,233 IN THOSE DAYS, 231 00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:27,300 THE GERMANS WERE VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT THEIR TERRITORY. 232 00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:35,400 WELL, THAT'S ALL IT TOOK FOR FRAULEIN ILSA, 233 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,333 THE NAZI SHE-WOLF, TO JUMP OUT 234 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:41,667 AND TAKE A HUNK OUT OF MY ALL-AMERICAN HIDE. 235 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:44,567 I STILL HAVE THE SCAR. 236 00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:46,033 YOU WANT TO SEE IT? I'LL SHOW YOU. 237 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:47,400 - FRANK! - NO! 238 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,800 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SIT DOWN. 239 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,567 - OH, ALL RIGHT. 240 00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:54,200 THE POINT IS, 241 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,767 FRAULEIN ILSA IS PROBABLY IN HELL RIGHT NOW 242 00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:59,600 DRAGGING HER NAZI BUTT ACROSS THE DEVIL'S CARPET. 243 00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:12,000 - THANK YOU FOR THAT HEARTWARMING STORY. 244 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,300 LOOK, ALLY, 245 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,533 I'M VERY SORRY THAT THIS HAPPENED, 246 00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:16,833 BUT... 247 00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:20,233 NOW IT'S TIME TO MEET YOUR BRAND-NEW HAMSTER. 248 00:12:20,233 --> 00:12:21,533 - NO, THANKS. 249 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,067 - OH, COME ON. LOOK, LOOK. 250 00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:24,367 HE LOOKS JUST LIKE THE OLD PUMPERNICKEL, 251 00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:26,767 AND THE GUY AT THE STORE 252 00:12:26,767 --> 00:12:29,633 TOLD ME THAT IN A COUPLE YEARS HE MIGHT... 253 00:12:29,633 --> 00:12:31,533 FLY. 254 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,067 - RAY. 255 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:37,533 RAY, DON'T TELL HER THAT. 256 00:12:37,533 --> 00:12:39,900 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SO HE WON'T. 257 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:41,300 H-HE'S NOT GOING TO FLY, 258 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:45,067 BUT HE DID SAY THAT-- THAT HE'S MAGICAL. 259 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:47,900 - RAY. 260 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:51,533 - HIS PERSONALITY! 261 00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:52,733 - NO, DAD. 262 00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:54,467 - OH, COME ON, ALLY, JUST TAKE A LOOK. 263 00:12:54,467 --> 00:12:56,300 HE'S A CUTE LITTLE REPLACEMENT. 264 00:12:56,300 --> 00:13:00,000 - I DON'T WANT A REPLACEMENT, DADDY! 265 00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:03,100 [door closes] 266 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,033 - I THINK THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE NEEDS-- 267 00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:08,300 A REPLACEMENT DADDY. 268 00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:18,400 - COULD YOU GO HOME, PLEASE? 269 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:22,200 AND TAKE THESE TWO THEOLOGIANS WITH YOU. 270 00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:29,200 - LOOK-IT... 271 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,433 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, SWEETIE. 272 00:13:30,433 --> 00:13:32,533 WHEN A CHILD'S PET DIES, 273 00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:36,000 SHE HAS TO GO THROUGH A GRIEVING PROCESS 274 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,633 BEFORE SHE CAN TAKE ON A NEW PET. 275 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:41,333 - ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN READ. WE GET IT. 276 00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:46,600 ISN'T IT A LITTLE MORBID TO MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS? 277 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,333 - NO, IT'S NOT MORBID. IT'S REALITY. 278 00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:50,467 - OH, COME ON. IT'S A HAMSTER. 279 00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:52,933 JUST--JUST LEAVE IT ALONE, AND SHE'LL GET OVER IT. 280 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,167 - YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK WOULD BE HEALTHY FOR ALL THE KIDS? 281 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,333 IF WE HAVE SORT OF A FORMAL GOOD-BYE CEREMONY 282 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,500 FOR PUMPERNICKEL. 283 00:13:58,500 --> 00:13:59,767 - GOOD IDEA, DEB. - YEAH. 284 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,533 RAY CAN DIG A HOLE IN THE BACK YARD. 285 00:14:01,533 --> 00:14:03,967 - I'M NOT DIGGING A HOLE. - YOU'RE DIGGING A HOLE. 286 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,500 AND I WILL GET A SHOEBOX. 287 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:08,767 - OKAY, I'LL PUT OUT THE COLD CUTS. 288 00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:12,400 - I'LL GET SOME BEER. 289 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,500 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S PUT ON A FUNERAL. 290 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:23,367 - [grunting] 291 00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:28,733 - HEY. 292 00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:30,800 HOW'S IT GOING? 293 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,267 - I'M DIGGING THROUGH SOLID ROCK IN A RAINSTORM. 294 00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,000 HOW DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING? 295 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,000 - WHAT, ARE YOU MADE OF SUGAR? IT'S BARELY DRIZZLING. 296 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,900 - OW! 297 00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:48,967 - CAREFUL, HONEY. 298 00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:50,300 - WHY DON'T YOU DIG THIS HOLE? 299 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:51,867 THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT ANYWAY, YOU KNOW? 300 00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:53,167 YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME ABOUT THAT BROKEN PIECE 301 00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:54,500 ON THE HAMSTER CAGE. 302 00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,700 - HEY, HEY, IF YOU WERE A LITTLE MORE INVOLVED, 303 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:58,800 YOU'D PICK UP ON THESE DETAILS. 304 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,133 - OH, REALLY? - YEAH. 305 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:04,600 - MAYBE I CAN MAKE THIS HOLE A LITTLE BIGGER. 306 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,033 [grunts] 307 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,967 OH, COME ON, DAD. 308 00:15:15,967 --> 00:15:18,767 AGAIN WITH THE METAL DETECTOR? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 309 00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:23,867 - YOUR MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP. 310 00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:25,300 - YEAH, WELL, 311 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,933 THERE'S NOTHING HERE BUT DIRT AND ROCKS. 312 00:15:26,933 --> 00:15:31,533 - THAT'S BETTER THAN WHAT HE GOT ME LAST YEAR. 313 00:15:31,533 --> 00:15:34,033 - ALL RIGHT, ALLY, WHY DON'T YOU--WE'LL PUT THE BOX IN, 314 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,767 AND THEN I'LL PUT THE DIRT ON IT. 315 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:36,833 - WAIT. 316 00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:37,967 I WANT EVERYBODY TO SAY SOMETHING 317 00:15:37,967 --> 00:15:39,400 ABOUT PUMPERNICKEL FIRST. 318 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,767 - OH, THAT'S GOOD. YEAH. 319 00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,533 AND THEN WE'LL ALL TAKE A HANDFUL OF DIRT 320 00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:43,333 AND TOSS IT IN. 321 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,467 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 322 00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:45,467 - THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS. 323 00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:47,433 - IT'S RAINING, HONEY. 324 00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:49,333 - LOOK, I THINK WE SHOULD DO THIS ALLY'S WAY. 325 00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,567 YOU WANT TO GET UNDER MY UMBRELLA? 326 00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:51,933 - I'M WONDERFUL RIGHT WHERE I AM, 327 00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:55,133 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 328 00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:57,767 - DADDY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO START? 329 00:15:57,767 --> 00:15:59,833 - OH, I DON'T KNOW, HONEY. 330 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,900 WHY DON'T WE LET GRANDPA START? GO AHEAD. 331 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,133 - GRANDPA? 332 00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:07,000 - UH, DAD, COULD YOU POWER DOWN FOR A SECOND? 333 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,633 - HUH? OH, OH, OH, OH. 334 00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:11,767 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 335 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:15,633 UH, PUMPERNICKEL... 336 00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:20,033 LIKED THE HAMSTER, LOVE THE BREAD. 337 00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,033 NEXT! 338 00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:23,567 - GRANDMA? 339 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,800 - OKAY, DEAR. 340 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,133 EVEN THOUGH PUMPERNICKEL HAS GONE FROM THIS EARTH, 341 00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:30,833 I KNOW HE'LL ALWAYS BE 342 00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:35,500 LOOKING DOWN AT US FROM HEAVEN--PEOPLE HEAVEN. 343 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,367 - ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD, UNCLE ROBERT. 344 00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,167 - [clears throat loudly] 345 00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:46,233 DEATH... 346 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,367 THE FINAL GOOD-BYE... 347 00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:56,633 THE ULTIMATE TOODLE-OO. 348 00:16:56,633 --> 00:17:00,300 OR MAYBE-- MAYBE DEATH IS NOT THE END. 349 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,400 MAYBE IT'S A BEGINNING. 350 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:06,367 PERHAPS IT'S THE ULTIMATE HOWDY-DO. 351 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,000 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 352 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,033 - WHAT'S THE MATTER, RAY-- TOO DEEP FOR YOU? 353 00:17:12,033 --> 00:17:13,300 - OH, GOD. 354 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,233 - GO AHEAD, ROBERT. 355 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:17,800 - YOU KNOW, I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION 356 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,233 THAT WHEN I DIE, 357 00:17:19,233 --> 00:17:21,833 I WOULD LIKE TO DIE LIKE PUMPERNICKEL-- 358 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,333 QUIETLY, PAINLESSLY, 359 00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,567 CHOCOLATE FUDGE POP 360 00:17:25,567 --> 00:17:29,300 STUCK TO THE CORNER OF MY MOUTH... 361 00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:34,000 FOR THAT, MY FRIENDS, MUST BE A HAPPY DEATH. 362 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,567 [dirt thuds] 363 00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:39,267 ALOHA... 364 00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,700 WHICH MEANS GOOD-BYE AND HELLO. 365 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:43,833 - ALL RIGHT. 366 00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:47,133 - SAME WITH SHALOM. 367 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,867 - SHUT UP. ONE MEANING. 368 00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:51,700 - ALL RIGHT, RAY. 369 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,833 - YOUR TURN, MOMMY. 370 00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:58,233 - OKAY, WELL, 371 00:17:58,233 --> 00:18:00,633 I'VE ALWAYS FELT VERY CLOSE TO PUMPERNICKEL, 372 00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:03,833 ESPECIALLY SINCE I DID A LOT OF THE FEEDING 373 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,100 AND CLEANING 374 00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:09,933 AND, YOU KNOW, MOST OF THE WORK. 375 00:18:09,933 --> 00:18:11,500 SO PUMPERNICKEL'S PASSING 376 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:14,533 IS GOING TO LEAVE A BIG HOLE IN MY LIFE. 377 00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:19,267 CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT I'LL DO WITH THE TIME. 378 00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:23,067 SO LONG, PUMPERNICKEL. 379 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,900 - MICHAEL? 380 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,500 - ALLY, WHY DON'T WE DO THE TWINS AS A SET, OKAY? 381 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,900 'CAUSE IT'S RAINING. - RAY, RAY. 382 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,200 YOU KNOW WHAT? COME UNDER MY UMBRELLA. JUST-- 383 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:37,900 - HEY, NO TALKING. HAMSTER FUNERAL. 384 00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:41,533 - I'LL MISS YOU, PUMPERNICKEL. 385 00:18:43,733 --> 00:18:45,033 - GEOFFREY. 386 00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:48,600 - I'LL MISS YOU TOO, PUMPERNICKEL. 387 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,267 - NOW MY TURN. 388 00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,100 I'LL MISS YOU TOO, PUMPERNICKEL. 389 00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:01,500 YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND, AND YOU STILL ARE. 390 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,300 DON'T WORRY, PUMPERNICKEL. 391 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:07,600 YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WITH ME, 'CAUSE I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU. 392 00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:14,600 [dirt thuds] 393 00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:19,267 YOUR TURN, DADDY. 394 00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:25,800 - UH... 395 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,433 UM... 396 00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:34,567 I DIDN'T, UH, HAVE MUCH CONTACT WITH... 397 00:19:34,567 --> 00:19:36,800 I DIDN'T KNOW PUMPERNICKEL VERY WELL. 398 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,400 UH, THE ONLY THING I REMEMBER 399 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,167 IS WHEN WE BROUGHT HIM BACK FROM THE PET STORE 400 00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:45,033 AND ALLY WANTED ME TO HOLD HIM, 401 00:19:45,033 --> 00:19:46,567 SO I REACHED OUT TO GRAB HIM, 402 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:51,300 AND HE BIT ME ON THE FINGER, AND IT HURT. 403 00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:55,100 SO DADDY SAID A BAD WORD. 404 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,200 BUT ALLY PICKED UP, UH... 405 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,933 PUMPERNICKEL, AND--AND SHE SHOWED ME-- 406 00:20:05,933 --> 00:20:08,733 SHOWED ME HOW TO HOLD HIM... 407 00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,500 LIKE THIS... 408 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,467 RIGHT? 409 00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:22,500 I NEVER NOTICED UNTIL JUST NOW HOW GROWN UP YOU ARE. 410 00:20:23,867 --> 00:20:25,200 THE WAY YOU WERE WITH YOUR FRIEND 411 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,833 AND WHAT YOU SAID JUST NOW-- 412 00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:31,700 YOU REALLY... 413 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:34,800 YOU REALLY SEEM GROWN UP. 414 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:39,467 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 415 00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:48,767 - DAMN HAMSTER. 416 00:20:55,800 --> 00:21:00,100 - DADDY... 417 00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:04,633 CAN WE GET A RABBIT TOMORROW? 418 00:21:04,633 --> 00:21:06,867 - YEAH, GUYS, WHATEVER YOU WANT. 419 00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:08,700 - COOL. A RABBIT! 420 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,233 - YEAH! WHOO! 421 00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:13,633 - YEAH, COOL. - YEAH. 422 00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:16,233 [door closes] 423 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:20,533 - RABBIT-- THAT'S A BIGGER HOLE. 424 00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:31,433 [door opens] 425 00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,867 - YOU ALL LAUGHED AT ME, HUH? 426 00:21:36,867 --> 00:21:39,600 BIG WASTE OF TIME, HUH? 427 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,400 [coins jingling] 428 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,700 HUH? 429 00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,733 [chuckles] 430 00:21:45,733 --> 00:21:49,000 I THINK I'LL BUY MYSELF A YOO-HOO. 431 00:21:52,933 --> 00:21:55,433 - THERE GOES MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT.