1 00:00:00,833 --> 00:00:02,200 - HEY, DEB. 2 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:03,800 WHAT, ARE YOU WRAPPING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS? 3 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,767 - YEAH. - TIE, HUH? WHOA, JAZZY. 4 00:00:06,767 --> 00:00:08,300 - YEAH, IT'S FOR RAY. 5 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,267 - HEY, EVERYBODY. 6 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:15,367 - HEY, MY BROTHER! 7 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:17,733 GOOD TO SEE YOU, MY BROTHER. 8 00:00:17,733 --> 00:00:19,167 - ALL RIGHT, COME ON. 9 00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:24,833 DON'T EVER DO THAT UNLESS I'M ON FIRE. 10 00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:27,433 EVEN THEN, ASK FIRST. 11 00:00:27,433 --> 00:00:30,200 - SO ARE WE GOING AWAY ON A GOLF WEEKEND OR WHAT? 12 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,667 - YES, WE ARE. 13 00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:33,433 I SPOKE TO MY CONNECTION IN MYRTLE BEACH. 14 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,600 HE PULLED A COUPLE STRINGS. WE'RE IN. 15 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,300 - OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL. 16 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:40,900 I'M GOING TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF PLAID PANTS. 17 00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:43,967 - I JUST GOT TO CHECK A COUPLE THINGS OUT FIRST. 18 00:00:43,967 --> 00:00:46,367 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT? YOU SAID WE'RE IN. 19 00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:48,800 YOU HAVEN'T ASKED DEBRA YET, HAVE YOU? 20 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,633 - NOT YET, BUT I'M JUST-- 21 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:52,500 I'M LAYING THE FOUNDATION, OKAY? 22 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,533 IT'S A WHOLE PROCESS, MAN. 23 00:00:54,533 --> 00:00:56,133 - YOU GOT TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN FOR ME. 24 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,333 COME ON, I NEED SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO 25 00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,267 IN MY SOUP-FOR-ONE LIFE. 26 00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:01,833 - I KNOW. I KNOW. LOOK, IT JUST-- 27 00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:04,233 IT REQUIRES A LITTLE FINAGLING, THAT'S ALL. 28 00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:06,567 - OH, GOD, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? 29 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,733 - DON'T WORRY YOUR LARGE RECTANGULAR HEAD. 30 00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,033 - OKAY, I GOT TO GO PICK UP THE KIDS. 31 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:19,267 - HEY, DEB. HI. AW, YOU LOOK NICE. 32 00:01:19,267 --> 00:01:20,600 - OH, I'M TOTALLY GROSS. 33 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,400 I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO SHOWER YET. 34 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,100 - AH, YOU'D NEVER KNOW IT. 35 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,400 HEY, WAIT. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 36 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,633 WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? - HONEY, I GOT TO GO. 37 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,400 - WAIT, WAIT. I JUST WANT TO KNOW. 38 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,667 WHAT DO I GET THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD? 39 00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:39,600 - [mumbling] 40 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,233 - WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, 41 00:01:41,233 --> 00:01:44,800 BUT I COULD USE A CROCK-POT. 42 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,067 - CROCK-POT? - YEAH. 43 00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:47,367 - OH, BECAUSE OF THE MELTED CRAYONS? 44 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:49,233 - YEAH. - YEAH, THAT WAS ALLY'S IDEA. 45 00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:52,767 - YEAH? SHE SAID IT WAS DADDY'S. 46 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:57,067 - WELL, THEN SHE'S A LITTLE LIAR, ISN'T SHE? 47 00:01:58,667 --> 00:01:59,900 [door closes] 48 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:02,633 - MAYBE I'LL SEE MYRTLE BEACH FROM HEAVEN. 49 00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:04,533 - RELAX, MAN. I'M WORKING ON IT. 50 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,400 OKAY, I JUST GOT SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION. 51 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,800 - WHAT, YOU SUCK AT FINAGLING? 52 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,533 - NO. CROCK-POT. 53 00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:13,600 - OH, RIGHT. SHE'S GOING TO LET YOU GO ON A GOLF WEEKEND 54 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,200 BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING HER A CROCK-POT. 55 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,600 - NO, YOU IDIOT. 56 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,233 I'M NOT GOING TO GET A CROCK-POT, OKAY? 57 00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:19,433 A CROCK-POT JUST SETS THE LEVEL. 58 00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:21,167 I HAVE TO WORK ABOVE THAT. 59 00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:23,800 I GOTTA GET HER SOMETHING THAT'S GOING TO TURN HER ALL GOOPY, 60 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,133 AND IT HAS TO BE BETTER THAN WHAT SHE'S GETTING ME. 61 00:02:27,133 --> 00:02:30,400 - OH, OH, I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GETTING YOU! 62 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,567 - WHAT? WHAT? COME ON. WHAT? 63 00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:35,900 - IT'S A CHRISTMAS PRESENT. I CAN'T RUIN IT. 64 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:37,933 - HEY, YOU WANT TO GO TO MYRTLE BEACH OR NOT, HUH? 65 00:02:37,933 --> 00:02:42,233 I'M FINAGLING HERE. YOU'RE IMPEDING THE FINAGLE. 66 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:45,300 - IT'S A TIE. SHE'S GETTING YOU A TIE. 67 00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:47,700 - A TIE? OH, THAT'S GREAT. 68 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:48,933 - YEAH, AN UGLY TIE. 69 00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:52,867 - OH, BEAUTIFUL. 70 00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:54,533 THAT STINKS. 71 00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:57,933 OH, I'LL GET HER SOMETHING REALLY GREAT 72 00:02:57,933 --> 00:03:00,100 THAT WILL MAKE HER FEEL LIKE CRAP. 73 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,367 - LIKE WHAT? 74 00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,367 - ANYTHING. WHAT? IT'S AN UGLY TIE. 75 00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:04,933 I GOT STUFF UNDER THE SEAT OF MY CAR 76 00:03:04,933 --> 00:03:06,733 THAT CAN BEAT THAT. 77 00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:10,733 OH, GOOD WORK, ROBERT. 78 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:12,033 - YOU KNOW, I... 79 00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:14,400 I FEEL A LITTLE DIRTY. 80 00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:18,300 I LIKE IT. 81 00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:23,700 [children screaming] 82 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:25,133 - GUYS, TAKE IT EASY! 83 00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:30,833 [children laughing] 84 00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:33,267 - COME ON, GUYS. 85 00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:35,867 TAKE IT EASY. 86 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:41,533 HEY, LAY DOWN. SEE IF THOSE NEW PAJAMAS WORK. 87 00:03:41,533 --> 00:03:43,133 - AH, LOOK. - I LIKE IT. 88 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,367 HOW LOVELY. A SWEATER. 89 00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:47,200 - YEAH. - WHERE DID YOU FIND IT? 90 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,967 - OH, MACY'S. YOU CAN RETURN IT IF YOU WANT. 91 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,633 - NO, NO, NO. IT'S PERFECT. 92 00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:52,233 SUCH A PRETTY COLOR. 93 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:57,700 MACY'S IN MASSAPEQUA OR THE CITY? 94 00:03:57,700 --> 00:04:03,633 - THIS ONE'S SAYS "FOR DEBRA FROM RAH." 95 00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:07,200 "WRAH?" 96 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,400 LOOKS LIKE "RAP." 97 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,500 - YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE "RAY," DAD? 98 00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:16,767 - NO. 99 00:04:16,767 --> 00:04:20,067 - FRANK, PUT YOUR GLASSES ON. YOU'RE BLIND. 100 00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:26,267 - AND WHAT WOULD BE THE UPSIDE OF SEEING YOU MORE CLEARLY? 101 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:29,633 - OH, LOOK AT THAT. IT'S A CROCK-POT. 102 00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:32,000 HOW DID YOU KNOW? 103 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,633 - CUTE LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME. 104 00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:34,833 - OH. 105 00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,033 - BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE-- 106 00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,567 - BAH! BAH! 107 00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:43,300 AND...HERE WE GO. 108 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,967 - OH, THAT ONE IS FOR ME? 109 00:04:44,967 --> 00:04:46,233 - JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING ELSE 110 00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:48,600 FOR SOMEONE WHO'S... SOMETHING ELSE. 111 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,433 - OH, LOOK. RAY, WHAT DID YOU DO? 112 00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:53,567 OH! 113 00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:56,567 OH, MY GOSH. IT'S ALL-NEW COOKWARE. 114 00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:59,667 - [laughing] 115 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,333 OH, I'M SORRY. 116 00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,967 - OH, LOOK AT THIS. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 117 00:05:03,967 --> 00:05:05,300 I LOVE THIS, 118 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,867 BUT THE CROCK-POT WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH. 119 00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:09,867 - NO, NO, IT WOULDN'T HAVE. 120 00:05:09,867 --> 00:05:13,100 - OH, THANK YOU. I LOVE IT. 121 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:17,300 - HERE'S ONE-- "FROM DEBRA, TO ENORMO." 122 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,700 - IT DOESN'T SAY THAT, DAD. 123 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:21,967 - [chuckles] 124 00:05:21,967 --> 00:05:26,100 YOU KNEW WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT, DIDN'T YOU? 125 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,333 - WELL, THIS MUST BE THE FERRARI 126 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:30,467 I ASKED SANTA FOR. 127 00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:32,933 OH, UH, THIS IS A MISTAKE, DAD. 128 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,133 THIS ONE'S FOR RAYMOND. 129 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,700 - NO, NO, THAT'S FOR YOU. 130 00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:37,067 THAT'S FOR YOU, ROBERT. 131 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,700 WHEN YOU CAUGHT ME WITH IT THE OTHER DAY, 132 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,233 I HAD TO TELL YOU IT WAS FOR RAY 133 00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:42,400 SO IT'D BE A SURPRISE. 134 00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,733 - WHAT? 135 00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:02,633 - YEAH. - WHAT? 136 00:06:02,633 --> 00:06:04,967 - NO, NO, THIS IS WHAT I GOT FOR RAY. 137 00:06:04,967 --> 00:06:08,200 - YOU MEAN, I'M NOT GETTING THAT...GREAT TIE? 138 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,933 - NO, THIS IS FOR YOU. 139 00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:12,000 - OH, THAT'S BIG. THAT'S A BIG PRESENT. 140 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,767 WOW. THAT'S NOT A TIE, 141 00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:17,267 UNLESS IT'S ONE OF THOSE NOVELTY GIANT TIES, YOU KNOW? 142 00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:19,600 - THERE YOU GO. MERRY CHRISTMAS. - WHOA. 143 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:24,067 HEY, THAT'S HEAVY. THAT'S HEAVIER THAN A TIE. 144 00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:27,333 - HEAVIER THAN A CROCK-POT TOO. 145 00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:30,800 - COME ON, OPEN IT. COME ON. 146 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,900 - OH, MY GOD. 147 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,767 A DVD PLAYER. 148 00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:41,400 - WHAT IS THAT, LIKE A HI-FI? 149 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:44,333 - WHAT DID YOU DO? 150 00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,267 - SHE GOT YOU A DVD PLAYER. 151 00:06:46,267 --> 00:06:48,400 - YES, ISN'T THAT COOL? 152 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,267 THIS IS THE BEST ONE THEY MAKE. 153 00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:51,967 - WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR? 154 00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:55,000 - YEAH, WHAT THE HELL? 155 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,200 - OH, I GOT YOU SOME MOVIES TOO. 156 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,800 - OH, NO. 157 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,300 - WHAT, DON'T YOU LIKE IT? 158 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,667 - NO, I LOVE IT. IT'S JUST-- 159 00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,200 IT'S MORE THAN I EXPECTED, YOU KNOW? 160 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,500 I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY WITH THE TIE. 161 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,033 - I KNEW YOU WOULD LIKE THIS. 162 00:07:08,033 --> 00:07:09,367 I LOVE MY POTS. 163 00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:11,467 I'M GOING TO TRY THEM OUT RIGHT NOW. 164 00:07:11,467 --> 00:07:15,633 - WELL, I BETTER GO HELP HER. THEY'RE NOT MAGIC POTS. 165 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:26,300 - NICE GOING, RAYMOND. NO GOLF. 166 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,967 I KNOW, INSTEAD OF PLAYING AT MYRTLE BEACH THIS SPRING, 167 00:07:28,967 --> 00:07:30,167 I'LL JUST HANG MYSELF 168 00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:33,700 WITH THE WORLD'S TACKIEST NOOSE. 169 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,500 - HEY, LOOK, DON'T BLAME ME, ALL RIGHT? 170 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,500 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME SHE WAS GIVING ME THE TIE. 171 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,467 YOU GAVE ME FAULTY INFORMATION. 172 00:07:39,467 --> 00:07:41,033 - NO, SHE FOOLED US. SHE'S TOO GOOD. 173 00:07:41,033 --> 00:07:43,333 I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS! 174 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,600 - WHAT DID YOU DO? 175 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,033 TRY TO SOFTEN HER UP WITH A BIG PRESENT 176 00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,867 SO YOU COULD GO PLAY GOLF? 177 00:07:51,867 --> 00:07:53,300 - FOR YOUR INFORMATION, DAD, 178 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,733 IT'S A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. 179 00:07:54,733 --> 00:07:57,267 - YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 180 00:07:57,267 --> 00:08:01,167 GIVE ME THAT CHOCOLATE. 181 00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:03,367 SIT DOWN. 182 00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:07,133 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT WOMEN. 183 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,400 YOU THINK YOU GOT TO BUTTER THEM UP 184 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,267 TO GET WHAT YOU WANT. 185 00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:12,533 THAT IS A POOR MAN'S GAME. 186 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:16,833 "OH, SWEETUMS, HERE ARE SOME FLOWERS. 187 00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:20,567 CAN I GO TO THE LODGE?" 188 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,900 NOT FOR ME. 189 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,967 NOT FOR ME! 190 00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:29,300 I DON'T DO THAT "NICE" CRAP. 191 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,367 - SO HOW DO YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT? 192 00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:38,100 - I'VE LEARNED TO DO WITHOUT. 193 00:08:42,433 --> 00:08:44,633 - LOOK, THIS WOULD HAVE WORKED 194 00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:46,600 IF I'D GOTTEN THAT STUPID TIE. 195 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,600 - OH, YOU WANT THE TIE? I'LL TAKE THE DVD THING. 196 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,267 - PUT THAT DOWN. YOU'RE NOT TAKING THAT. 197 00:08:50,267 --> 00:08:53,300 - HEY! YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? 198 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,433 IT'S STARING YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE. 199 00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:56,633 - WHAT? 200 00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:58,033 - YOU'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOUR OFFENSE, 201 00:08:58,033 --> 00:09:00,333 YOU DIDN'T PLAY DEFENSE. 202 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:01,567 THE QUESTION ISN'T 203 00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:03,733 "WHY DIDN'T SHE GIVE ME THAT TIE?" 204 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:04,933 THE QUESTION IS 205 00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:08,767 "WHY DID SHE GIVE ME THAT DVD THING?" 206 00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:11,200 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 207 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,033 I'M HER HUSBAND. SHE'S MY WIFE. 208 00:09:13,033 --> 00:09:16,100 DON'T I DESERVE A GREAT... 209 00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:26,033 - AMATEURS. 210 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,767 - WAIT A MINUTE. 211 00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:32,800 YOU'RE SAYING THAT DEBRA GOT RAY A DVD PLAYER 212 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,933 BECAUSE SHE WANTS SOMETHING FROM HIM? 213 00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:38,933 - OF COURSE. WHERE YOU BEEN? 214 00:09:38,933 --> 00:09:40,300 - WAIT. BUT THAT'S SO WEASELY. 215 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,700 THAT'S NOT HER. THAT'S-- 216 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,600 - YOU. - YES. 217 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,633 - OKAY, WHO WANTS A LITTLE HOT CHOCOLATE? 218 00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:50,133 I HEATED UP THE MILK 219 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:52,933 IN MY NEW 2-QUART SAUCEPAN. 220 00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:55,700 HERE YOU GO. HERE YOU GO. 221 00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:57,833 THANKS AGAIN FOR THESE POTS, RAY. 222 00:09:57,833 --> 00:09:59,033 I REALLY LOVE THEM. 223 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,667 - HMM. 224 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:09,067 OH, I GOT ME A BLACK MAGIC WOMAN. 225 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,833 - THANKS FOR THE GOLF, RAYMOND. 226 00:10:18,833 --> 00:10:20,533 - WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID GOLF? 227 00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:22,133 THERE'S BIGGER THINGS HERE. 228 00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,400 - YEAH, LIKE WHAT? - LIKE, WHAT IS SHE UP TO? 229 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,167 WHAT'S SHE SUCKING UP TO ME FOR? 230 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,467 - MAYBE SHE WANTS TO SLEEP 231 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:32,433 WITH THE BAGBOY FROM THE A&P. 232 00:10:32,433 --> 00:10:35,133 - YEAH, I'M SERIOUS, DAD. 233 00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:37,967 - HAVE YOU SEEN THE BAGBOY? 234 00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:39,267 - WILL YOU STOP? 235 00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:42,533 - HEY, DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER. 236 00:10:42,533 --> 00:10:44,500 - COME ON, COME ON. I GOT TO THINK. 237 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:48,633 WHAT DOES SHE WANT? WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? 238 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,533 - I THINK IT'S THE BAGBOY. 239 00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:02,867 - ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT'S UP. 240 00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:06,967 - I THINK HIS NAME IS LARRY. 241 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,400 - HEY, DEB. 242 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,133 - RAYMOND, I'M MAKING BROWNIES FOR LATER. 243 00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:11,600 WOULD YOU LIKE TO LICK THE BEATER? 244 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,933 - NO, NO, MOM. 245 00:11:13,933 --> 00:11:16,100 OKAY, YEAH, OKAY. 246 00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,333 LISTEN, DEB, I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. 247 00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:24,800 - YEAH, WHATEVER YOU WANT, HONEY. 248 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,200 MMM, CHOCOLATE. 249 00:11:28,633 --> 00:11:30,333 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S WITH YOU TODAY? 250 00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,833 - NOTHING. IT'S CHRISTMAS. 251 00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:33,200 THE KIDS ARE HAVING FUN. 252 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,767 I'M HAVING A NICE TIME WITH YOUR MOM. 253 00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:36,500 I'M JUST HAPPY. 254 00:11:44,433 --> 00:11:46,433 SO WHAT DID YOU WANT, RAY? 255 00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:49,500 - WHAT DID I WANT? WHAT DID I WANT? 256 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,367 - I KNOW WHAT HE WANTS-- WALNUTS IN THE BROWNIES. 257 00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:55,600 - NOT NOW, MOM, I-- OKAY, YEAH. 258 00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:01,700 ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT I WANT. 259 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:04,800 UM, THE GUYS ARE THINKING OF GOING TO MYRTLE BEACH 260 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,067 FOR A WEEKEND FOR GOLF, AND, UH, 261 00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:08,867 I WAS THINKING I WANT TO GO WITH THEM. 262 00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:11,200 YEAH. HOW DOES THAT GRAB YOU? 263 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,533 - FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND? 264 00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:14,333 - YEAH, A WHOLE WEEK-- A MATTER OF FACT, 265 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,067 I THINK IT'S A THREE-DAY WEEKEND. 266 00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:17,400 SO YEAH, I FEEL LIKE GOING. 267 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,800 I THINK I'M GOING TO GO. 268 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,400 ALL RIGHT? 269 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,033 - WELL, THAT'S THREE DAYS WITH JUST ME AND THE KIDS. 270 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,633 - YEP. 271 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,167 - YOU SHOULD GO. 272 00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:37,433 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S GOING ON? 273 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:52,100 - WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU? 274 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,633 GIVE ME THAT. 275 00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:05,533 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 276 00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:06,933 - I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON 277 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,300 WITH THE KISSING AND THE MARSHMALLOWS 278 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:09,533 AND THE LETTING ME PLAY GOLF 279 00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:12,133 AND THE BIG EXPENSIVE DVD PLAYER. 280 00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:14,033 - IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? 281 00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:16,000 YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT HOW MUCH IT COST? 282 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,633 - YES. WHAT IS THE COST... 283 00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:21,100 TO ME? 284 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,933 - WHAT IS A DVD PLAYER? 285 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:24,833 - COME ON. NOT NOW, MOM. PLEASE. 286 00:13:24,833 --> 00:13:28,067 - IS IT FOR PORNOGRAPHY? 287 00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:35,200 - YES, MARIE, 288 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,600 I GOT RAY A PORN MACHINE FOR CHRISTMAS. 289 00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:45,567 - I DON'T LIKE THAT, DEBRA. 290 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:48,400 - LOOK, DON'T--DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT HERE. 291 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,033 I DON'T LIKE BEING PLAYED. 292 00:13:50,033 --> 00:13:51,800 - YOU THINK I GOT YOU THAT DVD THING 293 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,733 BECAUSE I WANT SOMETHING? 294 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,500 - NO, BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME. 295 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:56,667 COME ON, HUH? 296 00:13:56,667 --> 00:13:58,767 WHAT IS IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? 297 00:14:01,267 --> 00:14:04,367 - WE'RE WAITING. 298 00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:10,600 - I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. 299 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,333 I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU SOMETHING 300 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:14,333 I THOUGHT MIGHT MAKE YOU HAPPY, 301 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:17,267 BECAUSE AS A MATTER OF FACT, 302 00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:21,167 I DO LOVE YOU AND IT'S CHRISTMAS 303 00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:25,600 AND I WANTED TO GET YOU A DVD PLAYER. 304 00:14:31,933 --> 00:14:35,833 - OH, UH, WELL... 305 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:40,033 THANKS THEN. 306 00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:42,133 I'M GOING TO GO SET IT UP. 307 00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:45,400 - WAIT, JUST--JUST A MINUTE. 308 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,600 DID YOU GET ME THOSE POTS 309 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,300 SO I WOULD LET YOU PLAY GOLF? 310 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:51,667 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. COME ON. 311 00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:53,867 WHAT? WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM? 312 00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:57,000 - UNBELIEVABLE. 313 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,400 - OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE, RAYMOND. 314 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,833 - YOU TRIED TO BRIBE ME. 315 00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:08,533 - NO, IT'S NOT BRIBING. IT'S JUST-- 316 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,067 IT'S GETTING YOU SOMETHING NICE 317 00:15:10,067 --> 00:15:12,667 SO YOU WOULD GIVE ME SOMETHING NICE, HUH? 318 00:15:12,667 --> 00:15:14,067 I GOT YOU THIS ENGAGEMENT RING 319 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:15,267 SO YOU WOULD MARRY ME. 320 00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:18,133 - YEAH, I FELL FOR THAT ONE TOO. 321 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:20,333 - WE SHOULD KEEP OUR VOICES DOWN. 322 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,300 - YOU KNOW, MARIE, WOULD YOU MIND? 323 00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:24,600 - BUT I'M BAKING. 324 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,200 - I'M TRYING TO TALK TO MY HUSBAND. 325 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,433 - FINE, DEBRA. 326 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,400 - YEAH, SO WHAT, RAY? 327 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,000 IS THIS WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO? 328 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,300 HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN ME A PRESENT 329 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,200 WITHOUT EXPECTING SOMETHING IN RETURN? 330 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,967 - YES, YES, PLENTY OF TIMES. - YEAH, YEAH. 331 00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:48,733 IT'S JUST LIKE THE KISSING. 332 00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,133 YOU ONLY KISS ME 'CAUSE YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO LEAD TO SEX. 333 00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:51,800 - OH, BABY, THAT IS NOT TRUE. 334 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,133 - OH. 335 00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:54,633 YOU KNOW, THE WORST PART 336 00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:56,333 ISN'T THAT YOU'RE A MANIPULATIVE JERK. 337 00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:58,267 IT'S THAT YOU THINK I'M LIKE YOU. 338 00:15:58,267 --> 00:16:00,967 - NO, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE MANIPULATIVE. 339 00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:02,467 I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY. 340 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,500 COME ON! 341 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,267 THOSE COULD HAVE HAD WALNUTS IN THEM. 342 00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:27,233 LOOK, UH, IF IT'S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM, 343 00:16:27,233 --> 00:16:28,433 I DON'T HAVE TO GOLF, ALL RIGHT? 344 00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:29,833 - IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT? 345 00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:31,533 - NO, THAT'S JUST IT. I DON'T CARE. 346 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:34,033 I DON'T CARE, ALL RIGHT? I DON'T CARE AT ALL. 347 00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:37,800 IT'S JUST--IT'S JUST... 348 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,433 ROBERT MIGHT HANG HIMSELF. 349 00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:47,900 - YOU KNOW WHAT? OH, I DON'T CARE. 350 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:51,233 I SAID YOU COULD PLAY GOLF, JUST GO PLAY GOLF. 351 00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:57,533 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU. 352 00:16:57,533 --> 00:16:59,133 - WHATEVER. 353 00:16:59,133 --> 00:17:00,600 - LISTEN... 354 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,867 IF THERE'S SOMETHING FUN THAT YOU WANT TO DO, 355 00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:05,067 THEN YOU SHOULD DO IT. 356 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,367 - YEP, ALL RIGHT. 357 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,633 - NO. COME ON, YOU DESERVE TO HAVE FUN TOO. 358 00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:10,500 - YEAH, OKAY. 359 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,500 WHEN THE KIDS GO TO COLLEGE, I'LL SEE A MOVIE. 360 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,733 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT. 361 00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:17,267 YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES? GO. 362 00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:19,300 GO TO THE MOVIES. GO TODAY IF YOU WANT. 363 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,133 - YEAH, I'M GOING TO GO ON CHRISTMAS. 364 00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:24,167 - JEWISH PEOPLE DO. 365 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,867 ALL RIGHT, THEN YOU GO. GO THIS WEEKEND. 366 00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:29,433 - YEAH, LIKE THAT'LL HAPPEN. 367 00:17:29,433 --> 00:17:32,033 - I'M SAYING IT'LL HAPPEN. GO TO THE MOVIES. 368 00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:33,400 COME ON. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS. 369 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,667 I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. 370 00:17:34,667 --> 00:17:37,233 COME ON, IT'LL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 371 00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:38,500 I DON'T WANT TO GET 372 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:42,633 A DVD PLAYER AND GOLF AND NICENESS 373 00:17:42,633 --> 00:17:46,900 AND YOU GET...POTS. 374 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,833 COME ON. GO TO THE MOVIES. 375 00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:50,167 - THANKS ANYWAY, HONEY. 376 00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:51,367 - COME ON, IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN WANT 377 00:17:51,367 --> 00:17:52,767 TO GO TO THE MOVIES. 378 00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:55,967 - IT'S OKAY. 379 00:17:55,967 --> 00:17:58,133 - WAIT A MINUTE. 380 00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:03,867 YOU WANT TO NOT GO TO THE MOVIES. 381 00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:05,133 - WHAT? 382 00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:06,400 - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 383 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,133 BECAUSE THEN IF YOU GO TO THE MOVIES, 384 00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:09,333 YOU DON'T GET TO SAY, 385 00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,133 "I NEVER GET TO GO TO THE MOVIES." 386 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,800 - WHEN DO I SAY THAT? 387 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,000 - YOU SAY THAT ALL THE TIME. 388 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,200 "I NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING." 389 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,767 AND YOU LOVE THAT. 390 00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:19,433 YOU'RE LIKE ONE OF THOSE WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM. 391 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,133 - A MARTYR? - YES. 392 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,567 - I'M NOT A MARTYR. 393 00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:25,400 - THEN HOW COME I DON'T HELP OUT AROUND HERE? 394 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,600 - HOW COME YOU DON'T HELP OUT AROUND HERE? 395 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,633 - BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO! 396 00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:38,400 'CAUSE-- 'CAUSE YOU WANT TO DO IT ALL 397 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:42,000 BECAUSE THEN YOU CAN FEEL SUPERIOR. 398 00:18:43,867 --> 00:18:45,600 - YOU, UH... 399 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:50,000 - YOU STAMMER BECAUSE YOU KNOW I SPEAK TRUTH. 400 00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:53,667 - DO YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE YOU ARE 401 00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:56,233 TO THE END OF YOUR LIFE? 402 00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:57,933 - I'M NOT SCARED. 403 00:18:57,933 --> 00:19:00,800 I'M NOT SCARED BECAUSE I'M ONTO SOMETHING HERE, HMM? 404 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,833 LIKE THE DVD PLAYER. WHY? 405 00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:06,633 WHY? 406 00:19:06,633 --> 00:19:10,400 WHY, AFTER--AFTER YEARS OF-- OF COMPLAINING 407 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,700 THAT ALL I DO IS LAY AROUND AND WATCH TELEVISION 408 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,867 WOULD YOU BUY ME A DEVICE 409 00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:20,233 THAT IS DESIGNED TO MAKE 410 00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:26,367 THE TELEVISION-WATCHING EXPERIENCE EVEN BETTER? 411 00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:34,667 WE MUST ASK OURSELVES... 412 00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,767 WHY? 413 00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:50,800 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 414 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:55,400 WHY THE HELL WOULD I BUY YOU A DVD PLAYER? 415 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,800 - YOU HAVE PROBLEMS. - I DO. 416 00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,000 WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? 417 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,067 - I DO NOT KNOW. 418 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:03,400 - I SHOULD MAKE YOU 419 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,567 HELP ME OUT MORE AROUND HERE. 420 00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:08,800 - WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. I MEAN-- 421 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,467 - NO, REALLY. YOU KNOW, I JUST--I WORK TOO HARD. 422 00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:12,967 I DON'T NEED TO BE A MARTYR. 423 00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:18,567 - I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO GIVE IT UP COLD TURKEY. 424 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:21,467 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 5:00. 425 00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:23,200 I'M GOING TO GO TAKE A NAP. 426 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,167 - OKAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS DINNER? 427 00:20:26,167 --> 00:20:28,200 - YOUR MOM CAN MAKE IT. SHE WANTS TO ANYWAY. 428 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,400 LISTEN, WOULD YOU MIND 429 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,033 STRAIGHTENING UP THE LIVING ROOM? 430 00:20:31,033 --> 00:20:32,533 AND THEN MAKE SURE THE KIDS GET WASHED AND DRESSED, OKAY? 431 00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:34,067 THANKS, THAT'D HELP ME OUT A LOT. 432 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,267 - OKAY, LOOK, I'LL DO THOSE THINGS, 433 00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:36,467 BUT THEN I GET TO GOLF, RIGHT? 434 00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:39,733 - UH, NO, I DON'T THINK SO. 435 00:20:39,733 --> 00:20:41,067 I MEAN, LOOK. 436 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,500 HOW COULD I NOT THINK OF MYSELF AS A MARTYR 437 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,867 IF I'M STUCK AT HOME WITH THE KIDS BY MYSELF 438 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,633 WHILE YOU'RE OUT GOLFING WITH YOUR BUDDIES? 439 00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:50,433 - YOU KNOW, ABOUT MARTYRS, A LOT OF THEM BECAME SAINTS. 440 00:20:50,433 --> 00:20:51,833 - NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. 441 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,900 AND THANK YOU BECAUSE YOU REALLY HELPED ME. 442 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:58,400 THIS IS A GREAT CHRISTMAS. 443 00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,733 - BUT... 444 00:20:59,733 --> 00:21:01,833 LOOK, OH... 445 00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:06,400 THAT'S NOT REALLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. 446 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,733 WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? 447 00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:11,167 - DUSTING. 448 00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:21,100 - MARIE, COME ON. COME HERE. 449 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,500 - WHAT? 450 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:25,567 WHAT IS IT? 451 00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:27,433 - HERE. 452 00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:28,900 - FOR ME? 453 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:31,300 - YEAH. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 454 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:35,333 - FRANK, YOU ALREADY GAVE ME LOTTERY TICKETS. 455 00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:39,900 - THOSE WERE A BUST. 456 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,933 JUST OPEN IT. 457 00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:43,200 - [gasps] 458 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,433 OH, FRANK, EARRINGS. 459 00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:48,267 THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. 460 00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:51,033 OH, THANK YOU. 461 00:21:51,033 --> 00:21:54,167 - OKAY, LISTEN, JUST ONE THING. 462 00:21:54,167 --> 00:21:57,700 YOU DIDN'T GET THOSE FROM ME.