1 00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:06,167 [whistle blowing on TV] 2 00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:07,467 [doorbell rings] 3 00:00:07,467 --> 00:00:08,800 - HEY, CAN YOU GET THAT, MAN? 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,667 - IT'S YOUR HOUSE. 5 00:00:11,667 --> 00:00:14,600 - MY PRETZELS. 6 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,067 - SOMEDAY I'LL HAVE A SATELLITE DISH, 7 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:21,200 AND YOU WON'T SEE ME NO MORE. 8 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,767 - HELLO. RAYMOND? 9 00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:29,400 - EVEN BETTER. 10 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:33,167 I'M ROBERT, THE BROTHER. 11 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,700 - WELL, HI, I'M CAROL MARSHALL 12 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:37,067 FROM HUMM VAC CLEANING SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL. 13 00:00:37,067 --> 00:00:39,600 - OH, PLEASE, COME IN. - OH, THANK YOU. 14 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,600 AH, YOU MUST BE RAYMOND. - YEAH. HI. 15 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,500 - HI. I SPOKE TO YOUR WIFE LAST NIGHT 16 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:45,300 ABOUT COMING BY TO DEMONSTRATE OUR SYSTEM. 17 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,000 - OH, RIGHT. YEAH, OH, THE VACUUM. 18 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,433 YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT SHE SAID 19 00:00:48,433 --> 00:00:49,667 THAT WE DIDN'T NEED A NEW VACUUM CLEANER. 20 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,667 YEAH, SHE DID. I REMEMBER BECAUSE 21 00:00:51,667 --> 00:00:53,200 IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE SHE TOLD ME THAT I HAVE 22 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,933 TO GO PICK UP SOMETHING FROM SOMEWHERE. 23 00:00:55,933 --> 00:00:57,400 OH, YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN 24 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,800 TO CATCH ANY OF THAT, DID YOU? 25 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,267 - SORRY. 26 00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:03,100 YEAH, SO WHEN WE SPOKE LAST NIGHT, 27 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,600 THINGS DID SEEM PRETTY HECTIC, 28 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,400 SO SINCE I HAPPEN TO BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, 29 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,467 I WONDERED IF MAYBE NOW MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME 30 00:01:08,467 --> 00:01:10,400 TO COME SHOW YOU HOW WONDERFUL THE HUMM VAC IS, 31 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,800 AND TO OFFER YOU THIS COMPLIMENTARY LINT BRUSH. 32 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,800 - YEAH. I DON'T KNOW. 33 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,267 MY WIFE SAYS I'M REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO-- 34 00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:20,933 - COME ON, RAY. IT'S COMPLIMENTARY. 35 00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:22,767 - MAY I, ROBERT? 36 00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:25,100 THIS WON'T HURT A BIT. 37 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,700 SEE? 38 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,000 - EW. COOL. 39 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,933 - AND THAT IS YOURS FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD PATIENT. 40 00:01:31,933 --> 00:01:33,100 - THANK YOU. 41 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:35,867 YOU WERE VERY GENTLE. - OH. 42 00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:37,067 OH, HERE, I HAVE ONE FOR YOU TOO. 43 00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:40,900 - OH. OH. 44 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,433 THANK YOU. 45 00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:44,433 LISTEN, IT'S TOO BAD THAT MY WIFE ISN'T HERE, 46 00:01:44,433 --> 00:01:45,767 'CAUSE SHE'S REALLY THE VACUUMER. 47 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:47,633 - OH. WELL, ALL I KNOW 48 00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:49,433 IS IF I WERE MARRIED AND MY HUSBAND 49 00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:52,500 MISSED OUT ON A CHANCE TO MAKE MY LIFE 50 TO 75% EASIER, 50 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:56,167 WELL, I MIGHT BE A LITTLE ANNOYED. 51 00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:59,300 - SO THERE'S NO MR. HUMM VAC? 52 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,733 PRETZEL? 53 00:02:09,633 --> 00:02:12,567 vacuum whirring] 54 00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:18,500 [door closes] 55 00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:23,167 - AAH! 56 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:27,433 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 57 00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:28,833 YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME. 58 00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:30,367 - WHAT IS THAT? 59 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,833 - THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE-- 60 00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:35,300 THE HUMM VAC ESPRIT. 61 00:02:37,267 --> 00:02:38,667 - WHAT, YOU BOUGHT THIS? 62 00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:39,833 - YUP. 63 00:02:39,833 --> 00:02:42,633 - YOU HEARD ME TELL THE LADY ON THE PHONE 64 00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:45,600 THAT WE DO NOT NEED A VACUUM CLEANER. 65 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,833 - I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT IT TURNS OUT, 66 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,067 WE REALLY DO. 67 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:51,267 SHE SHOWED ME ALL THE DIRT. 68 00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:53,600 - YOU LET HER IN HERE? 69 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,100 WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE. 70 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:57,500 HOW GOOD-LOOKING WAS THIS SALESLADY? 71 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:03,667 - YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE WAS QUITE GOOD-LOOKING, 72 00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:05,267 BUT I'M NOT AFRAID TO SAY THAT, 73 00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:06,567 'CAUSE THAT'S HOW GOOD THIS MACHINE IS. 74 00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:10,067 I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THIS FROM AN UGLY MAN! 75 00:03:10,067 --> 00:03:11,500 - YOU ARE SUCH A SUCKER. 76 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:14,633 - A SUCKER FOR A GREAT PRODUCT. 77 00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:15,867 [vacuum cleaner hums] YOU HEAR THAT? 78 00:03:15,867 --> 00:03:17,300 YOU HEAR THAT HUM? 79 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,633 THAT'S A FULLY INSULATED 4-HORSEPOWER MOTOR. 80 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:23,067 THAT, MADAM, IS THE SOUND OF CLEAN. 81 00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:24,867 IS IT VERSATILE, YOU ASK? 82 00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:26,100 CHECK THIS OUT. 83 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,933 I DID THIS WHOLE SECTION IN 30 SECONDS. 84 00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:30,667 CREVICE ATTACHMENT-- BOOM. DONE. 85 00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:32,567 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK, THAT'S VERY NICE. 86 00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:33,933 - WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 87 00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,900 WATCH THIS. 88 00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:38,400 YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS. 89 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,633 THESE PILLOWS SEEM CLEAN ENOUGH-- 90 00:03:40,633 --> 00:03:43,000 TO THE NAKED EYE. 91 00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:45,600 IN A REGULAR VACUUM, 92 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,067 THERE'S NOT ENOUGH SUCTION POWER 93 00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:49,100 TO PICK UP ALL THE DIRT 94 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,933 THAT THE BEATER BAR KICKS UP. 95 00:03:50,933 --> 00:03:53,600 - RAY, TURN IT OFF. I VACUUMED THERE YESTERDAY. 96 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,467 - YOU COULD'VE VACUUMED HERE FOUR OF FIVE TIMES 97 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:56,800 YESTERDAY WITH YOUR OLD VACUUM. 98 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,467 - RAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PILLOW? 99 00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:01,667 - PATIENCE, MY DEAR. LOOK. 100 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,067 THE HUMM VAC, IT HAS UP TO 50 TIMES 101 00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:15,133 MORE SUCTION POWER. 102 00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:18,000 IT PULLS UP DUST, DEAD SKIN, PET DANDER, 103 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,400 WHAT HAVE YOU, DEPOSITS IT ALL 104 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,600 INTO THIS WATER RESERVOIR. 105 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:23,900 NO BAGS. - OKAY. 106 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:28,233 LISTEN, YOU'RE CALLING HER BACK AND RETURNING IT! 107 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:35,667 - STILL SKEPTICAL, MRS. BARONE? 108 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:40,167 WELL, I DON'T WANT TO FRIGHTEN YOU, 109 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:44,067 BUT THIS IS WHAT YOUR OLD VACUUM 110 00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:47,800 HAS BEEN MISSING. 111 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,267 - WOW. 112 00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:53,667 - IT'S WHAT WE CALL THE "WOW FACTOR." 113 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:56,333 THEY BUILD IT RIGHT INTO THE SYSTEM. 114 00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:57,800 THIS IS THE FILTH THAT YOUR FAMILY'S 115 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,167 BEEN BREATHING. 116 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:02,200 NOW YOU JUST DUMP IT RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN. 117 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,300 - THAT IS PRETTY AMAZING. - YEAH. 118 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,500 NOW I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THE DRAPES. 119 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,667 - YOU'RE GONNA DO THE DRAPES? 120 00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:10,800 - NO, NO, SILLY. 121 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,767 THE HUMM VAC'S GONNA DO THE DRAPES. 122 00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:14,867 I'M JUST GONNA TAKE THE CREDIT. 123 00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:18,100 [vacuum whirring] 124 00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:27,800 - I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE ATTRACTED TO YOU 125 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,733 IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. 126 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,533 - WANT TO TRY? 127 00:05:39,533 --> 00:05:41,100 - OKAY. 128 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:44,500 - YOUR FIRST TIME. 129 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:47,433 I ENVY YOU. 130 00:05:56,233 --> 00:05:58,233 - HELLO, DEARS. 131 00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,567 [vacuum cleaner shuts off] - HI, MARIE. 132 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,133 - HI. I WAS PASSING BY MY WINDOW, 133 00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:06,467 AND I COULDN'T HELP SEEING INTO YOUR WINDOW. 134 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,733 AND I NOTICE YOU BOUGHT A NEW VACUUM. 135 00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:10,867 - IT'S AMAZING WHAT THIS THING PICKS UP, MARIE, 136 00:06:10,867 --> 00:06:14,567 AND NO BAGS! - NO BAGS! 137 00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:16,867 - I AM SO GLAD THIS WORKED OUT. 138 00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:18,333 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 139 00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:19,833 - WELL, WHEN THE SALESLADY CALLED ME AND TOLD ME 140 00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,800 SHE HAD THE GREATEST CLEANING INNOVATION 141 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,133 SINCE THE BROOM, I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU. 142 00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:34,667 - YOU SENT HER OVER HERE? 143 00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:37,267 - OF COURSE. 144 00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,767 - I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 145 00:06:43,767 --> 00:06:45,300 - WELL, YOU TWO ENJOY. 146 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,433 I WOULD NEVER WANT TO INTERFERE WITH HOUSEWORK. 147 00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:54,400 - NOW MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME TO TELL YOU 148 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,500 ABOUT THE FREE EUCALYPTUS ROOM FRESHENER. 149 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,567 TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF. I JUST VACUUMED UP THERE. 150 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,100 [knock on door] 151 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,400 - HI, MARIE. - HELLO, DEAR. 152 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,967 - AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING? 153 00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:22,567 - OH, NO. I'M JUST LETTING FRANK'S PANTS OUT AGAIN. 154 00:07:25,133 --> 00:07:28,267 IT'S IN GOD'S HANDS NOW. 155 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:38,367 - UM, YOU KNOW, MARIE, SOMETHING WAS BOTHERING ME, 156 00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:41,233 AND I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT IT. 157 00:07:41,233 --> 00:07:42,600 - OF COURSE, DEAR. 158 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,133 WHAT IS IT? 159 00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:45,500 - [clears throat] 160 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,533 WELL, UM, 161 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,767 YOU KNOW THIS AFTERNOON WHEN YOU SAID 162 00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:52,133 THAT THE SALESLADY TOLD YOU THAT SHE HAD 163 00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:54,933 THIS GREAT NEW CLEANING DEVICE, 164 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:58,200 YOU IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF ME. 165 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,167 WHY WAS THAT? 166 00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:03,300 - [laughs] 167 00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:08,300 - NO, REALLY, MARIE, WHY? 168 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:12,567 - IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION? 169 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:13,767 - UH, NO. 170 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,667 IT JUST SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS IMPLYING 171 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,600 THAT I DON'T KEEP A CLEAN HOUSE. 172 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,767 - WELL, NOW YOU HAVE A LITTLE HELP. 173 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,567 [laughs] 174 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,933 - BUT YOU DIDN'T FEEL THE NEED 175 00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:25,133 TO BUY A HUMM VAC? 176 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:28,100 - WELL, THAT MACHINE IS FOR PEOPLE-- 177 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:31,333 IT'S LIKE, IF YOU HAVE A BAD LEG, 178 00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:34,467 THEN YOU NEED CRUTCHES. 179 00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:43,367 - AND YOUR LEGS ARE FINE? 180 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,300 SO THERE'S NO DIRT IN THIS HOUSE? 181 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:50,200 - NOT SINCE I'VE LIVED HERE. 182 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,933 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 183 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,067 - THANK YOU. - OKAY. 184 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:13,100 OH, YOU BROUGHT YOUR NEW VACUUM HERE. 185 00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,500 DO YOU NEED ME TO SHOW YOU HOW TO USE IT? 186 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,100 - NO. NOPE. 187 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,333 I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. 188 00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:20,633 I JUST WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 189 00:09:20,633 --> 00:09:22,667 - YOU'RE GOING TO VACUUM MY HOUSE? 190 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:24,467 - YOU KNOW, MY HOUSE MIGHT APPEAR 191 00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,400 TO BE A BIT MORE CLUTTERED THAN YOURS, 192 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,800 AND, YEAH, ALL RIGHT, 193 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,633 THERE'S THE OCCASIONAL CRUMB, DIRTY DISH. 194 00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:31,100 I'M NOT SAYING THAT THERE'S NO DIRT. 195 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,900 YEAH, THERE IS, BUT THAT'S EVERY HOUSE. 196 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,800 EVERY HOUSE HAS DIRT, MARIE, 197 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,367 EVEN THIS ONE. 198 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,267 [vacuum cleaner whirring] 199 00:09:39,267 --> 00:09:42,333 - WELL, I MUST SAY, 200 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,133 I THINK THAT MAYBE YOU'RE GOING A LITTLE BIT-- 201 00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:45,533 - EXCUSE ME, MARIE. - OKAY, OKAY. 202 00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:50,067 - THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A HIGH-TRAFFIC AREA. 203 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:53,233 - YOU'RE GOING AGAINST THE NAP. 204 00:09:53,233 --> 00:09:56,367 DID ANYONE EVER TEACH YOU ABOUT NAP? 205 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,767 - OKAY. 206 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,533 NOW, LET'S TAKE A LOOK 207 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:06,967 AT WHAT WE LIKE TO REFER TO 208 00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:10,100 AS THE "WOW" FACTOR. 209 00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:16,667 - THAT WATER LOOKS VERY CLEAN. 210 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:19,600 WOW! [laughs] 211 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:28,467 - WELL, LET-- LET ME JUST, UH, 212 00:10:28,467 --> 00:10:31,833 LET ME JUST TRY UNDER THE COUCH, OKAY? 213 00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:32,967 THERE WE GO. 214 00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:35,767 [vacuum cleaner whirring] 215 00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:40,100 'CAUSE IT CAN GET PRETTY NASTY UNDER HERE. 216 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,467 OKAY. 217 00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:54,400 DAMN IT. 218 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,900 - IS IT ME, OR DOES THAT WATER 219 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:04,400 LOOK EVEN CLEANER? 220 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,167 - WELL, I'M STILL 221 00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,700 KIND OF GETTING THE HANG OF THIS, SO-- 222 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,167 - YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, DEAR, 223 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,600 THAT VACUUMS DON'T CLEAN HOUSES. 224 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,533 PEOPLE CLEAN HOUSES. 225 00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:18,267 - YOU KNOW, MAYBE I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THIS 226 00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:20,533 PUSHED ALL THE WAY IN. THAT'S IT. 227 00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:23,400 - WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME TO KEEP GOING. 228 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,067 IT'S PROBABLY GOOD PRACTICE. 229 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,100 - WHERE ARE MY PANTS, MARIE? 230 00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:31,167 I'M FREEZING HERE! - OH! COMING, FRANK! 231 00:11:31,167 --> 00:11:34,200 OH, YOU'VE WORKED UP QUITE A SWEAT. 232 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,767 WHEN I COME BACK, I'LL BRING YOU 233 00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:38,700 SOMETHING COOL TO DRINK. 234 00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:46,500 - HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - GIVE ME YOUR SHOES! 235 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:47,800 - WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 236 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,367 - YOU AND THE KIDS WERE IN THE SANDBOX 237 00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:50,767 THIS MORNING, WEREN'T YOU? - YEAH. WHY? 238 00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:53,433 OH, NO, DID PARKER'S CAT GET IN THERE? 239 00:11:53,433 --> 00:11:55,233 - COME ON! 240 00:11:55,233 --> 00:11:57,067 I NEED SOME DIRT! 241 00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:58,167 I'M GONNA SHUT YOUR MOTHER UP, 242 00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,567 ONCE AND FOR ALL. 243 00:11:59,567 --> 00:12:01,300 - YOU GONNA FILL HER MOUTH WITH DIRT? 244 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,600 - NO, ON THE RUG. 245 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,867 SHE'S GONNA SEE SHE NEEDS THIS VACUUM LIKE ANYBODY ELSE. 246 00:12:05,867 --> 00:12:09,467 - COME--OW! UNTIE IT FIRST! 247 00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,667 - OH, COME ON, GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE. 248 00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:13,800 - OH, NO. 249 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,133 - DAMN IT, THE ONE DAY THAT YOU'RE NOT A PIG! 250 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,467 - I THINK YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE NUTS HERE. 251 00:12:21,467 --> 00:12:24,600 - OH, IT'S PLASTIC. IT'S PLASTIC! 252 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000 EVEN HER DIRT'S NOT DIRT! 253 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,467 YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? 254 00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:30,867 IT'S THIS STUPID VACUUM CLEANER. 255 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:32,300 I TOLD YOU NOT TO BUY IT! 256 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:34,967 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! DON'T! STOP IT! 257 00:12:34,967 --> 00:12:39,633 - HEY, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE YELLING? 258 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:42,367 - I DON'T THINK DEBRA COULD FIND ANY DIRT. 259 00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:44,433 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT, THERE'S NO DIRT HERE. 260 00:12:44,433 --> 00:12:46,267 YOU WIN, BUT I AM SICK OF YOU 261 00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:47,700 MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A BAD PERSON BECAUSE 262 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,667 I DON'T KEEP MY HOUSE EXACTLY THE WAY YOU DO. 263 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,333 A CLEAN HOUSE IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT 264 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,500 THING IN THE WORLD. 265 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,900 - YOU KNOW WHO SAYS THAT? 266 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,633 A MESSY PERSON. 267 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,200 - ALL RIGHT, 268 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,233 AS HARD AS THIS IS FOR YOU TO BELIEVE, MARIE, 269 00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:03,900 I DO LIKE TO KEEP A NEAT HOUSE. 270 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,933 I'M JUST NOT GOING TO SPEND EVERY SPARE MINUTE CLEANING IT. 271 00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,300 - THERE ARE NO SPARE MINUTES. 272 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:09,333 YOU HAVE A FAMILY TO CARE FOR. 273 00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:10,567 THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. 274 00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,967 - YES, I DO. I CARE FOR MY FAMILY. 275 00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:14,800 I SPEND MY TIME ENJOYING THEM, 276 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,733 NOT STERILIZING THEM! 277 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,667 - ARE YOU SAYING I DON'T LOVE MY FAMILY? 278 00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,233 - NO, THAT'S NOT-- - BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING 279 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,067 IN THE WORLD THAT I LOVE MORE THAN MY FAMILY. 280 00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,467 - OW! 281 00:13:27,467 --> 00:13:29,433 - EASY. 282 00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:34,600 - NO, IT'S JUST THAT THIS HOUSE IS SO CLEAN 283 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,433 AND SO ARRANGED, IT'S NOT EXACTLY 284 00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:40,267 THE WARMEST PLACE IN THE WORLD. 285 00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,700 - HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? 286 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:45,200 - WELL, I MEAN, COME ON-- PLASTIC SLIPCOVERS. 287 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,733 - THAT'S TO PROTECT THE UPHOLSTERY. 288 00:13:46,733 --> 00:13:48,567 - OH, ALL RIGHT, SO IT PROTECTS THE UPHOLSTERY, 289 00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:50,567 BUT HOW DO YOU THINK IT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL? 290 00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:53,333 - HOT AND STICKY, 291 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,067 ESPECIALLY IN THE SUMMER 292 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,200 WHEN I'M IN MY ALTOGETHER. 293 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:02,900 - I SAY THANK THE LORD FOR THE SLIPCOVERS. 294 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,600 - OH, COME ON, RAY. 295 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,367 YOU MAKE JOKES ABOUT THOSE SLIPCOVERS ALL THE TIME. 296 00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:09,267 - YOU JOKE ABOUT MY SLIPCOVERS? 297 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,167 - NO WAY. NO, THAT'S NOT MY STYLE. 298 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:13,300 - WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT THE PLASTIC 299 00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:16,433 AND THE POWDER ROOM AND THE GUEST TOWELS? 300 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:20,467 - TELL ME, RAYMOND. 301 00:14:23,867 --> 00:14:27,333 - JUST THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE THERE'S-- 302 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,267 THERE'S CHINA THAT WE NEVER USE, 303 00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:32,133 AND THERE'S TOWELS THAT WE NEVER TOUCH. 304 00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:33,667 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE SAVING EVERYTHING 305 00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:37,067 FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. 306 00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:39,267 [laughs] 307 00:14:39,267 --> 00:14:40,333 IT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE. IT'S MORE LIKE 308 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:43,500 A HUMOROUS OBSERVATION. 309 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,567 - [chuckles] HE'S RIGHT. 310 00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:48,500 WHAT ARE THOSE LITTLE TOWELS WITH THE GOLD FRINGE FOR? 311 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,300 FOR WHEN THE POPE COMES OVER HERE 312 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:53,033 TO USE THE DOWNSTAIRS CAN? 313 00:14:53,033 --> 00:14:54,433 - BE QUIET. 314 00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:57,300 - I'M USING 'EM. - NO, YOU'RE NOT. 315 00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,733 ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, RAYMOND? 316 00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:00,567 - OH, COME ON, MA. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 317 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,100 - I'M JUST TRYING TO GIVE MY FAMILY 318 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,067 THE NICEST AND CLEANEST HOME I CAN. 319 00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:05,267 - AND YOU DO. 320 00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:06,733 - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, RAYMOND. 321 00:15:06,733 --> 00:15:07,933 WHEN YOU BOYS WERE LITTLE, 322 00:15:07,933 --> 00:15:09,567 YOU WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE IN THE DIRT, 323 00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:10,867 AND THEN YOU'D TROMP THROUGH HERE 324 00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:12,267 LIKE IT WAS A BUS STATION, 325 00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:14,567 AND ROBERT WITH HIS GIGANTIC FEET, 326 00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:17,033 IT WAS LIKE HAVING A HORSE IN THE HOUSE. 327 00:15:17,033 --> 00:15:18,600 [laughter] 328 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,267 NO, NO. IT WAS NOT FUNNY, NO. 329 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,800 IT WAS ALL I COULD DO TO TAKE CARE OF THIS PLACE. 330 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,033 - HI. 331 00:15:25,033 --> 00:15:27,167 - TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES. - HUH? 332 00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:28,300 - TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF. 333 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:31,933 YOU'RE NOT IN A BARN. 334 00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:35,267 - DO WHAT SHE SAYS. WE'LL GIVE YOU A CARROT. 335 00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:40,467 - WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON? - OKAY, YOU SEE, MARIE? 336 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:41,967 THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 337 00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:43,467 YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH THE HOUSE BEING CLEAN, 338 00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:46,600 LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR SON. 339 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,000 - ALL RIGHT. FINE, FINE. 340 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,367 PUT YOUR SHOES BACK ON AND 341 00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:55,333 GALLOP AROUND HERE ALL YOU WANT. 342 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:58,333 - WHAT? - PUT THEM BACK ON! 343 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,600 - YEAH, AND CHECK THE EXPIRATION DATE 344 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,533 ON YOUR FEET. 345 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,667 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 346 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,700 - EVERYONE WANTS ME TO CHANGE? 347 00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,400 I CAN CHANGE. 348 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,167 I'M TAKING THE COVERS OFF. 349 00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:17,100 - BUT WHERE ARE WE GOING TO SIT? 350 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,633 - YOU CAN SIT RIGHT HERE ON THE COUCH, 351 00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:20,867 BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE THINGS ANYMORE. 352 00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:25,033 I'M NOTHING IF I'M NOT FLEXIBLE. 353 00:16:25,033 --> 00:16:27,167 - WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, MARIE? 354 00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:30,467 WE CAN SIT ON THE COUCH? 355 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:33,700 - BE MY GUEST, FRANK. GO AHEAD. 356 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,033 - SO WE CAN REALLY SIT THERE, 357 00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:46,033 ON THE ACTUAL COUCH? 358 00:16:46,033 --> 00:16:49,167 - GO AHEAD. ENJOY. 359 00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:51,567 - YOU FIRST. - NO. 360 00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:54,533 - WOULD YOU SIT? IT'S A COUCH! 361 00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:30,200 - YOU SEE, DEBRA? 362 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,167 I CAN CHANGE. I CAN LET GO. 363 00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,267 IT'S NICE FABRIC, ISN'T IT? 364 00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:37,167 - IT'S VERY NICE. 365 00:17:37,167 --> 00:17:40,300 - I FEEL A LITTLE NAUGHTY. 366 00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:48,433 - CAN'T WAIT TILL SUMMER. 367 00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:56,333 - HEY, HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOU, MARIE? 368 00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:57,700 YOU'VE SPENT ALL THESE YEARS 369 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,067 KNOCKING YOURSELF OUT CLEANING. 370 00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,533 YOU SHOULD ENJOY THIS. 371 00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:03,300 - THAT'S RIGHT. 372 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:06,500 THANK YOU, DEBRA. 373 00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:12,300 EXCUSE ME. 374 00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:20,133 THIS IS NICE. 375 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:31,333 - [yelling] DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 376 00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:32,867 - LOOK WHAT YOU DID! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 377 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:37,600 - YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS, GIVING ME THE SKUNK EYE! 378 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,667 - WE'RE PUTTING THE PLASTIC BACK ON. 379 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,900 - NO, NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 380 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,200 - LOOK, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 381 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,500 - YOU CAN PUT THE COVER BACK IF YOU WANT. 382 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,733 YOU KNOW, DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY. 383 00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:49,667 MY FAMILY COMES FIRST. 384 00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:51,700 YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THOSE CUSHIONS OUTSIDE 385 00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,467 AND SHAKE THEM OUT FIRST. 386 00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:56,033 COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW. 387 00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:57,800 - COME ON. 388 00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,200 WE'LL SHAKE THEM OUT. 389 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,400 CAN YOU DO THE CHIPS, DEBRA? 390 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,933 CAN YOU PICK THEM UP, PLEASE? 391 00:20:01,933 --> 00:20:04,867 - [sighs] YEAH. NO PROBLEM. 392 00:20:04,867 --> 00:20:08,000 JEEZ. 393 00:20:28,267 --> 00:20:30,400 [vacuum cleaner whirring] 394 00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:35,067 - HEY, TAKE A BREAK, ALREADY. 395 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,400 - OH, MAN, ISN'T THIS THING GREAT? 396 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:40,367 I WISH THEY MADE ONE OF THESE YOU COULD RIDE. 397 00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:41,800 - HERE, I MADE YOU A MEAT LOAF SANDWICH. 398 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,467 - OH, THANKS. 399 00:20:46,433 --> 00:20:49,400 - MOSTLY SUNNY SKIES TODAY WITH BRISK EASTERLY WINDS. 400 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,567 EXPECT A HIGH NEAR 52 DEGREES, 401 00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:54,200 CLEAR TONIGHT, WITH A LOW NEAR 41. 402 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,033 TOMORROW-- 403 00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:36,300 AAH! 404 00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:41,733 YOU SEE, OUR OLD VACUUM COULDN'T DO THIS.