1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:03,333 [laughter and yelling] 2 00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:04,967 - HEY, WOULD YOU GUYS KNOCK IT OFF? 3 00:00:04,967 --> 00:00:06,467 YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE. 4 00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,733 - HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 5 00:00:08,733 --> 00:00:10,700 - I DON'T KNOW. 6 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:11,967 IS THAT MY NEW LIPSTICK? 7 00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:13,633 YOU--GIVE ME THIS. 8 00:00:13,633 --> 00:00:17,033 ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN, YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND WASH YOUR FACES. 9 00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:18,867 [all screaming] HEY! 10 00:00:18,867 --> 00:00:22,567 HEY, WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THIS COWBOY PARTY ON SATURDAY. 11 00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:24,267 I'LL GET MY SCISSORS AND CUT YOUR BIRTHDAY 12 00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:26,933 RIGHT OUT OF THE CALENDAR. 13 00:00:26,933 --> 00:00:28,133 [doorbell rings] 14 00:00:28,133 --> 00:00:30,567 OH, COME ON. 15 00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:34,967 MAYBE THIS IS A BOURBON SALESMAN. 16 00:00:34,967 --> 00:00:38,333 MOM, HI, OH, MY GOSH. 17 00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:39,867 YOU KNOW YOU'RE EARLY? 18 00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:41,167 THE BIRTHDAY PARTY'S NOT FOR TWO DAYS. 19 00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:42,500 - NO, I KNOW. 20 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,433 I CAME TODAY BECAUSE I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU. 21 00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:46,300 - OH, OKAY, BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL, 'CAUSE-- 22 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:50,500 - YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE SEPARATED. 23 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,633 - HELLO, LOIS. 24 00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:54,133 - HI, MARIE. 25 00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:56,500 - I SAW YOU DRIVE UP. 26 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:59,333 WAS I GIVEN THE WRONG DAY FOR THE PARTY? 27 00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:03,933 WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON? 28 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,833 DID-- DID I MISS SOMETHING? 29 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,600 I THINK I MISSED SOMETHING. 30 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,700 - IT'S OKAY. 31 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,200 WE'LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY, MARIE? 32 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,033 - BUT I THINK I MISSED SOMETHING. 33 00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:14,533 IF ANYBODY NEEDS TO TALK TO ME, 34 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:18,733 I'M JUST RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. 35 00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:21,700 I HAVE MARBLE CAKE! 36 00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:27,400 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 37 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,133 WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE SEPARATED? 38 00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:31,367 - WELL, I DON'T SUPPOSE IT'S ANY SECRET 39 00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:34,133 THAT YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE HAD OUR PROBLEMS. 40 00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:36,700 WE EVEN TRIED THAT MARRIAGE COUNSELING 41 00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:38,300 THING IN NEW JERSEY. 42 00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:39,567 - OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE. ONE WEEK OF COUNSELING, 43 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:40,967 AND THIS IS WHAT YOU COME UP WITH? 44 00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,467 THIS IS HOW YOU WORK THINGS OUT? 45 00:01:42,467 --> 00:01:45,733 - OH, HONEY, THIS CAN'T BE A COMPLETE SURPRISE. 46 00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:48,500 YOU KNOW WE WERE NEVER TRULY COMPATIBLE, 47 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,633 AND NEW JERSEY ACTUALLY MADE US SEE THAT. 48 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,267 - OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 49 00:01:53,267 --> 00:01:57,100 NEW JERSEY, THE "JUST GIVE UP" STATE. 50 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,333 - WELL, IT WAS 41 YEARS, 51 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,533 SO YOU CAN'T SAY WE DIDN'T GIVE IT A SHOT. 52 00:02:01,533 --> 00:02:05,567 NOW, PLEASE, DON'T BE UPSET, BECAUSE I'M NOT, REALLY. 53 00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:09,267 I-I FEEL WONDERFUL AND FREE. 54 00:02:09,267 --> 00:02:11,267 - YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE. 55 00:02:11,267 --> 00:02:12,767 AND WHAT ABOUT DAD? 56 00:02:12,767 --> 00:02:15,933 - WELL, HE'S FINE, TOO, AND WE'LL STAY CLOSE. 57 00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:18,700 WE'LL PROBABLY BE BETTER FRIENDS THAN BEFORE, 58 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:21,233 AND, YOU KNOW, PAT AND CYRIL WENT THROUGH THIS, 59 00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,433 AND THEY'RE MUCH HAPPIER NOW. 60 00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:26,567 THEY SHARE CUSTODY OF THE DOGS. 61 00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:31,433 - THIS IS--THIS IS JUST LIKE YOU, YOU KNOW? 62 00:02:31,433 --> 00:02:33,333 YOUR HIP AND TRENDY LIFESTYLE. 63 00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:35,033 IT'S CHIC TO GET SEPARATED NOW, 64 00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:37,900 SO THAT'S WHAT YOU DO INSTEAD OF PUTTING ANY EFFORT INTO-- 65 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,433 - OH, COME ON, DEBRA, NOW, THAT'S NOT FAIR. 66 00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:43,467 IT'S BEEN NOTHING BUT EFFORT, AND I HAVE TRIED. 67 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,933 - YOU HAVE NEVER TRIED ANYTHING FOR LONGER 68 00:02:44,933 --> 00:02:48,067 THAN IT WAS ON A MAGAZINE COVER. 69 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:54,700 [knocking] 70 00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:01,933 - MARIE? 71 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,433 HELLO? 72 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,633 - HIYA, LOIS. 73 00:03:13,633 --> 00:03:16,900 - I, UH-- I WAS LOOKING FOR MARIE. 74 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,167 - OH, YEAH? 75 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:21,300 FOR ME, JUST THE OPPOSITE. 76 00:03:23,367 --> 00:03:25,800 JUICE? 77 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,700 - NO, THANK YOU. 78 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:31,500 WOULD YOU MIND IF I JUST HUNG OUT HERE FOR A BIT? 79 00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:44,133 - NOTHING'S GOING ON. 80 00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:45,567 - WHAT ARE YOU? 81 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:48,100 PUT ON SOME CLOTHES WITH COMPANY IN THE HOUSE. 82 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,133 - WHAT COMPANY? SHE'S FAMILY. 83 00:03:50,133 --> 00:03:53,233 HEY, THERE'S NOTHING HERE SHE AIN'T SEEN ON WARREN. 84 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,700 AM I WRONG? 85 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:59,633 HEY, WHERE IS WARREN, ABU DHABI OR SOMETHING? 86 00:03:59,633 --> 00:04:01,700 - COULD BE. 87 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,833 THAT'S WHY I CAME OVER. 88 00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,167 I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT 89 00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:08,467 WARREN AND I ARE SPLITTING UP. 90 00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,400 - [gasps] 91 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,733 - I'LL PUT PANTS ON. 92 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,133 - AWW, AWW. 93 00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:23,500 YOU POOR DEAR. 94 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,633 - NO, NO, IT'S OKAY, MARIE. 95 00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,000 IT'S OKAY. 96 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,567 - HE'S LEAVING YOU? 97 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,033 - NO. 98 00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:32,100 IT'S COMPLETELY MUTUAL. 99 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:34,700 WE'RE BOTH QUITE HAPPY, HONESTLY. 100 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:37,167 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND WITH ME. 101 00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:40,800 YOU CAN TELL ME ALL THE AWFUL DETAILS. 102 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,467 PLEASE. 103 00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:44,467 NO, NOT THOSE PANTS. THEY GO TO GOODWILL. 104 00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:46,333 - HEY, I LOVE THESE PANTS. 105 00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:49,067 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO GIVE THEM TO GOODWILL? 106 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:51,833 - THERE ARE HOLES IN THE SEAT. YOU'VE WORN THROUGH THEM. 107 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,333 - THEN YOU CAN'T GIVE THEM TO GOODWILL; THAT'S BAD WILL. 108 00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,767 - THERE ARE OTHER PANTS IN THE DRYER. 109 00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:59,267 PUT ON ONE OF THOSE. - NO. THESE ARE THE PANTS. 110 00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:01,567 - NO, YOU ARE NOT WEARING THOSE PANTS, FRANK. 111 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,033 YOU'RE JUST LIKE AN ANIMAL! 112 00:05:03,033 --> 00:05:05,567 - ANIMALS DON'T EVEN LIKE PANTS! 113 00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:06,767 [pants rip] 114 00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:08,033 YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! 115 00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:11,167 - OH, I DID NOT! - YOU'RE THE ANIMAL! 116 00:05:16,033 --> 00:05:18,500 - GO ON, DEAR. 117 00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:22,333 - UH, WELL, IT'S-- 118 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,200 IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE. 119 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,700 IT'S BEEN OVER 40 YEARS. 120 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,133 WE NEEDED A CHANGE. 121 00:05:28,133 --> 00:05:30,767 - YOU DON'T SEEM VERY UPSET. 122 00:05:30,767 --> 00:05:34,133 - ACTUALLY, I'M MORE UPSET AND SURPRISED 123 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,567 THAT DEBRA SEEMED SO UPSET. 124 00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:40,633 - WELL, I MUST SAY, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND DEBRA HERE. 125 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:44,767 I MEAN, I-I WAS BROUGHT UP TO CONSIDER IT A SIN TO-- 126 00:05:44,767 --> 00:05:47,400 [whispering] DIVORCE. 127 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,367 AND HERE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT IT SO CASUALLY. 128 00:05:50,367 --> 00:05:53,733 HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND WARREN BEEN SEPARATED? 129 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:57,067 - ABOUT TWO WEEKS. 130 00:05:57,067 --> 00:06:00,200 - WHAT'S IT LIKE? 131 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,767 - HEY, CHEESE DOODLE. 132 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,767 OH, I ORDERED A MOON BOUNCE FOR THE KIDS' PARTY SATURDAY. 133 00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,000 IT'S A CORRAL. 134 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,400 IT GOES WITH YOUR WHOLE COWBOY THEME. 135 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,467 THEY SAID YOU GOT TO BE UNDER 80 POUNDS TO JUMP IN THERE, 136 00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:22,600 BUT SCREW THAT GUY; I'M GOING IN. 137 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,800 - UM, LISTEN, RAY. 138 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,567 - WHAT? 139 00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:35,000 - I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 140 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,133 - YEAH? 141 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:40,533 - IT'S PRETTY BIG. 142 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,167 - OH, BOY. 143 00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:45,300 - YEAH. [sighs] 144 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,367 MY PARENTS HAVE SEPARATED. 145 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:55,633 THEY'RE ON THE PATH TO DIVORCE. 146 00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,267 - [chuckles] 147 00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:59,433 - YOU LAUGH? YOU LAUGH? - NO, NO, NO, NO. 148 00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:02,100 NO, IT WAS JUST--IT'S ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS, YOU KNOW? 149 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,900 IT'S TOO SERIOUS OR SOMETHING. 150 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:07,133 JUST--I WASN'T READY FOR IT. 151 00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:10,267 THIS IS TERRIBLE. 152 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000 NO, ALL RIGHT-- 153 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,700 THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY HERE. THIS IS AWFUL; IT'S AWFUL. 154 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:29,200 YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? IT'S THE WAY THAT YOU SAID IT. 155 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,500 "THEY'RE ON THE PATH TO DIVORCE." 156 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,167 I'M NOT SMILING. I DIDN'T SMILE. 157 00:07:33,167 --> 00:07:34,633 I'M NOT SMILING. 158 00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:36,433 YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? IT'S THE IMAGE I HAVE. 159 00:07:36,433 --> 00:07:38,200 I PICTURED THAT THERE WAS A PATH IN THE FOREST 160 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,600 WITH, LIKE, ONE OF THOSE WOODEN SIGNS, 161 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,633 "DIVORCE THIS WAY," AND I DON'T KNOW, WHAT, 162 00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:46,233 LIKE, "THREE LITTLE PIGS THIS WAY." 163 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,867 AND THEN YOUR FACE WHEN YOU SAID IT, 164 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:50,267 IT WAS JUST A LITTLE SERIOUS, THAT'S ALL. 165 00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:51,767 [snickering] NO! 166 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:54,200 GOD, I THINK I HAD TOO MUCH FUN AT WORK TODAY. 167 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,833 THAT'S WHAT IT IS. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? 168 00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:58,633 THE VENDING MACHINE--THE DOOR TO THE VENDING MACHINE WAS-- 169 00:07:58,633 --> 00:08:01,167 IT WAS BROKEN, SEE? 170 00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:03,800 FREE CANDY. 171 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,600 THESE ARE MY FAVORITES-- 172 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,733 TWIX. 173 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,233 [sighs] 174 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,933 HEY. 175 00:09:20,933 --> 00:09:23,233 HUNGRY? 176 00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,233 YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, 177 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:28,367 I GOT A LITTLE CANDY LEFT UPSTAIRS. 178 00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:42,467 THAT'S OKAY. I GOT MY CANDY. 179 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,033 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR PARENTS? 180 00:09:48,033 --> 00:09:51,367 - WHY, YOU WANT ANOTHER GOOD LAUGH? 181 00:09:51,367 --> 00:09:54,167 - I DIDN'T LAUGH. I'M SORRY. 182 00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,400 I-I'M SORRY. COME ON. 183 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,633 I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS. 184 00:09:57,633 --> 00:10:00,100 IT'S VERY BAD. 185 00:10:04,467 --> 00:10:05,800 LISTEN, I'M SORRY. ALL RIGHT. 186 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,667 WE HAVE TO-- WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 187 00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:10,267 I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH YOU. 188 00:10:10,267 --> 00:10:13,133 COME ON. WE HAVE TO DISCUSS THIS. 189 00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:16,367 [exhales] SO YOUR PARENTS. 190 00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:20,167 BOY. 191 00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:21,400 - GO AHEAD. 192 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,933 - WELL, I DON'T-- WHAT DO YOU SAY? 193 00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:26,967 I'M SORRY. 194 00:10:26,967 --> 00:10:29,667 BUT, I MEAN, I HAVE TO SAY THIS. 195 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:32,467 I THINK EVERYBODY COULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING, RIGHT? 196 00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:36,233 I MEAN, REMEMBER THANKSGIVING, HOW THEY YELLED? 197 00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:38,067 IT WAS TERRIBLE. 198 00:10:38,067 --> 00:10:41,633 I HAD A HARD TIME FINISHING MY PIE. 199 00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:44,700 - I KNOW THEY HAD PROBLEMS, RAY. 200 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,267 - OKAY, SO THEN WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED-- 201 00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:47,767 - BECAUSE THEY'RE MY PARENTS. 202 00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:49,400 THEY'RE SPLITTING UP. 203 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,667 WHAT I CAN'T BELIEVE IS THAT 204 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:51,967 THEY'RE THE ONES GETTING A DIVORCE. 205 00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:55,967 IT SHOULD BE YOUR PARENTS. 206 00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:59,467 - WOW. 207 00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:01,433 I DON'T THINK THAT'S A PARTICULARLY NICE 208 00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:03,333 THING TO SAY. - I'M SORRY. 209 00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,033 - I THINK SOMEONE IS AWFULLY COMPETITIVE. 210 00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:07,933 - ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY, RAY. 211 00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:09,467 - NO, THAT'S FINE. 212 00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:11,500 SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT MY PARENTS. 213 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:14,233 YOU USUALLY DO. 214 00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:16,600 BUT I WILL SAY THIS. 215 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,267 MAYBE--MAYBE YOUR PARENTS ARE SPLITTING UP 216 00:11:20,267 --> 00:11:24,033 BECAUSE THEY KEPT EVERYTHING INSIDE FOR SO LONG 217 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:27,233 THAT THEY FINALLY JUST EXPLODED-- 218 00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:28,967 LIKE WHEN YOU PUT A PUDDING CUP 219 00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:33,367 IN THE MICROWAVE... 220 00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:36,500 WHICH WAS NOT ME, BY THE WAY. 221 00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:41,333 - SO THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU? 222 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,500 - WHAT? 223 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,067 - WHAT ABOUT US? 224 00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:47,533 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 225 00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:49,633 - WHAT IF WE'RE HEADED THAT WAY? 226 00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:53,833 I-I KEEP A LOT OF STUFF INSIDE TOO. 227 00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:56,300 - NO, YOU DON'T. 228 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,900 I DROP A SOCK ON THE FLOOR, 229 00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:01,033 YOU SCREAM LIKE A HORROR MOVIE. 230 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:09,233 - THERE'S PLENTY MORE I KEEP INSIDE, BELIEVE ME. 231 00:12:09,233 --> 00:12:12,367 - THERE CAN'T BE A LOT LEFT IN THERE. 232 00:12:15,033 --> 00:12:16,667 - I HATE MY MOTHER. 233 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,133 - OH, NO, YOU DON'T. 234 00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,567 HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR MOTHER'S FAULT? 235 00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,833 - OH, IT'S HER FAULT. SHE'S SO-- 236 00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:23,333 [sighs] 237 00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:25,533 WHY IS SHE DOING THIS? 238 00:12:25,533 --> 00:12:28,567 I MEAN, MY PARENTS BEING TOGETHER-- 239 00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:32,333 I MEAN, I HAVE COUNTED ON THAT MY WHOLE LIFE. 240 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,967 THROUGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE 241 00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:35,600 AND THEN STRUGGLING AFTER COLLEGE, 242 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,100 AND, YOU KNOW, WHEN I DIDN'T KNOW 243 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,700 WHAT I WAS DOING OR WHERE I WAS GOING, 244 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:41,133 AT LEAST I HAD-- 245 00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,900 THEIR MARRIAGE WAS LIKE A ROCK, 246 00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:46,967 THE ONE SOLID ROCK FOR ME. 247 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,000 - WELL-- 248 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,300 I MEAN, MAYBE IT WAS MORE LIKE A STONE, ALL RIGHT? 249 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:56,433 AND NOW IT HAS PASSED. 250 00:13:01,967 --> 00:13:03,400 - ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. 251 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,733 - WHAT DID I DO? - THAT'S--YOU KNOW, JUST ENOUGH. 252 00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:06,367 YOU CAN'T HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION. 253 00:13:06,367 --> 00:13:07,833 YOU GOT TO BE FUNNY. IDIOT. 254 00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:10,600 - IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY. HEY, NO, COME ON, LOOK. 255 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,367 I'M TRYING TO BE UNDERSTANDING HERE, OKAY? 256 00:13:12,367 --> 00:13:14,433 I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SAID IDIOT, ALL RIGHT? 257 00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:18,633 BUT I'M WILLING TO OVERLOOK IT BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND. 258 00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:21,767 YOU'RE THE CHILD OF A BROKEN HOME. 259 00:13:31,267 --> 00:13:34,400 [children yelling] 260 00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:37,867 - OH, HI. 261 00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:41,833 - HI. 262 00:13:41,833 --> 00:13:44,667 - ALLY'S KERCHIEF TORE. 263 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:46,867 - YEAH? 264 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,600 - WELL, SHE NEEDS ANOTHER ONE 265 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:52,833 TO GO WITH HER COWGIRL ENSEMBLE. 266 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,767 - OKAY, I'LL GET IT. 267 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,533 - DEBRA, WAIT. 268 00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:57,333 - WHAT? 269 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,767 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. 270 00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:02,367 I WAS JUST HOPING THAT MAYBE YOU COULD'VE TRIED 271 00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:03,867 TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE SITUATION 272 00:14:03,867 --> 00:14:05,433 OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS. 273 00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:08,733 - NO, I'M FINE, MOM, BUT THANKS FOR THE COUPLE OF DAYS 274 00:14:08,733 --> 00:14:11,567 TO COME TO TERMS WITH IT. 275 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,700 I GOT TO GET THAT KERCHIEF. 276 00:14:16,033 --> 00:14:17,433 - LEAVE ME ALONE. 277 00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:20,033 - OKAY-- 278 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:22,033 COME ON. 279 00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,267 WE SAID IT BEFORE. 280 00:14:23,267 --> 00:14:24,900 I'M THE BAD GUY. - YOU SAID THAT. 281 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,667 I DID NOT AGREE TO THAT. 282 00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:28,200 - WELL, THERE CAN'T BE TWO BAD GUYS, OKAY? 283 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,667 THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. 284 00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:31,600 - LOOK, I WANT TO BE THE BAD GUY, RAYMOND, OKAY? 285 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,733 I'M ALWAYS THE GOOD GUY. I'M A COP. 286 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:38,100 IT'S MONOTONOUS. 287 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:40,467 LISTEN, I BOUGHT THE MUSTACHE. 288 00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:42,067 - YEAH, WELL, IT'S MY KIDS' PARTY, OKAY? 289 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:43,267 AND THEY ALL HATE THE GOOD GUY. 290 00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:47,000 - SO YOU COULD USE A LITTLE HATE. 291 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,567 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 292 00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:51,400 - OW! 293 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,700 - IT'S ROTTEN RAYMOND! 294 00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:58,733 - HE'S SO FUNNY. 295 00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:01,667 - YEAH, HE'S A PIP. 296 00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,500 LISTEN, I-I WAS SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOU AND WARREN. 297 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,100 - THANK YOU. 298 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,400 - I'VE BEEN THERE. 299 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,300 - OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 300 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:19,133 WHAT WAS YOUR WIFE'S NAME AGAIN? 301 00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:21,033 - JOANNE. 302 00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:24,833 SHE WAS ACTUALLY QUITE HORRIBLE. 303 00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:26,967 - RIGHT. I REMEMBER. 304 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,600 - HEY, JUST SO YOU KNOW, 305 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:32,133 IT GETS BETTER AS TIME PASSES, YOU KNOW? 306 00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:34,733 - THANK YOU, ROBERT. 307 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:38,800 ACTUALLY, WE'RE PRETTY OKAY WITH IT NOW. 308 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,100 - YEAH, SO WAS JOANNE. 309 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,700 SHE HAD A PARTY. 310 00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:45,733 - OH? 311 00:15:45,733 --> 00:15:48,500 - AT HER OLD STRIP CLUB. 312 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,800 ALL HER FRIENDS WERE THERE, 313 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,733 SATIN, BUBBLES, LICK-LICK. 314 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,267 PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. 315 00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:15,167 - I WOULD SAY SHE'S THE ONE THAT MADE THE MISTAKE. 316 00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:20,033 - THANK YOU. 317 00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,800 UH, LISTEN-- 318 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,033 - OH, NO, NO. 319 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,867 SEE, I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE CONSOLING. 320 00:16:34,867 --> 00:16:37,000 - GOOD LUCK TO YOU. - NO, NO, I DIDN'T MEAN-- 321 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,133 - GOOD LUCK TO YOU! 322 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,467 - I'M SORRY. HE REALLY IS CRAZY. 323 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,200 - OH, DAMN IT. 324 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,000 STUPID DAMN FRIGGIN' THING. 325 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,700 - DEBRA? 326 00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:59,567 YOUR MOM SAID YOU WERE UP HERE. 327 00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:02,033 - HI, DAD. 328 00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:07,200 [crying] 329 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,100 I CAN'T FIND A KERCHIEF. 330 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:21,233 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 331 00:17:21,233 --> 00:17:22,400 - WELL, THE INVITATION SAID 332 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,067 "ROUND 'EM UP" BIRTHDAY PARTY. 333 00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:27,067 IT PROMISED A ROOTIN' TOOTIN' TIME. 334 00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:29,867 - I'M SO SORRY, DAD. 335 00:17:29,867 --> 00:17:31,567 - YEAH, ME TOO. 336 00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,733 - I'M SORRY SHE'S DOING THIS TO YOU. 337 00:17:33,733 --> 00:17:34,967 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 338 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,800 - I KNOW HOW SHE IS. 339 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,467 - UH-- 340 00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:43,767 HERE. SIT DOWN. 341 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,167 THIS IS NOT YOUR MOTHER'S FAULT. 342 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,733 - DON'T YOU DEFEND HER. - LISTEN TO ME. 343 00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:51,133 [exhales] 344 00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:53,567 WE HAVE BOTH BEEN UNHAPPY FOR SOME TIME NOW. 345 00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:55,300 YOU KNOW THAT. - YOU'RE RIGHT. 346 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,700 BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO AT LEAST TRIES TO MAKE AN EFFORT, 347 00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,167 LIKE WANTING TO GO TO THAT MARRIAGE COUNSELING. 348 00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,533 - CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 349 00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:03,267 I NEVER REALLY WANTED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY. 350 00:18:03,267 --> 00:18:05,967 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I PICKED THAT PLACE? 351 00:18:05,967 --> 00:18:07,367 BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING FORWARD 352 00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:11,967 TO HOW MUCH YOUR MOTHER WOULD HATE IT. 353 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:13,467 WELL, SHE LOVED IT, 354 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:16,967 AND I WAS THE ONE BORED OUT OF MY FREAKIN' SKULL. 355 00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:19,267 THOSE WORKSHOPS. 356 00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:23,367 "POLISHING YOUR SOUL MATE'S SOUL." 357 00:18:23,367 --> 00:18:26,867 SO, YOU REALLY MUSTN'T BLAME YOUR MOTHER, HONEY. 358 00:18:26,867 --> 00:18:31,900 I'M THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY SAID IT WAS OVER. 359 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:33,033 - I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 360 00:18:33,033 --> 00:18:35,167 - IT'S TRUE. 361 00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:38,600 - AND WHAT DID SHE SAY? 362 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,533 - WELL, SHE KNEW. 363 00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:43,467 WE BOTH KNEW. 364 00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,000 DON'T CRY, HONEY. 365 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,600 - I CAN'T HELP IT. [sniffling] 366 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,033 I MEAN, WHY THE HELL DO YOU TAKE VOWS 367 00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:55,700 IF--IF THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING? 368 00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,167 - WE MEANT IT THEN. 369 00:18:57,167 --> 00:19:01,333 WE MEANT IT WHEN YOU WERE KIDS. 370 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,300 BUT WHEN YOUR SISTER, 371 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:05,133 AND THEN YOU, WENT OFF TO COLLEGE, 372 00:19:05,133 --> 00:19:07,300 IT KEPT GETTING HARDER. 373 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,200 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT ALL THE KISSING 374 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,667 AND THE TRAVELING TOGETHER 375 00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:13,900 AND THE "POOKUMS ONE AND TWO" LICENSE PLATES? 376 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,867 WHAT WAS THAT? 377 00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:19,133 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 378 00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:22,167 I GUESS, BY THE END, 379 00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:27,200 MOST OF THAT WAS JUST... A SHOW, 380 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,900 AND WE HAD ENOUGH. 381 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:33,000 WE BOTH HAD ENOUGH. 382 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,400 IT'S NOT LIKE RAY'S PARENTS. 383 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,967 - WHAT? 384 00:19:42,967 --> 00:19:45,500 - THEY SEEM TO HAVE THE SECRET. 385 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:49,800 - WHAT? 386 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,233 - THEY KNOW HOW TO DO IT. 387 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,233 IT'S NOT A FACADE FOR THEM. 388 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:58,100 - BUT THEY'RE MANIACS. 389 00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:01,400 - YES, BUT THEY'RE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER. 390 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,433 EVERYTHING IS OUT IN THE OPEN WITH THEM. 391 00:20:04,433 --> 00:20:07,500 "EGGS, MARIE, AND HOLD THE CHATTER." 392 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,233 I LOVE THAT. 393 00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:12,400 GOD, I'LL TELL YOU, 394 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,533 THEY'RE THE ONES WHO OUGHT TO BE GIVING THE SEMINAR. 395 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:45,267 - HOWDY. 396 00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:47,933 - COULD YOU TAKE THAT OFF, PLEASE? 397 00:20:47,933 --> 00:20:50,067 - YES, MA'AM. 398 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,667 FEELING ANY BETTER? 399 00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:08,767 - I GUESS. 400 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:12,600 - I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS. 401 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,367 - I KNOW. 402 00:21:15,367 --> 00:21:19,300 - BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT US. 403 00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:22,300 'CAUSE I-I THINK 404 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:25,433 WE KIND OF GET EVERYTHING OUT IN THE OPEN. 405 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:34,667 - TIGHTER. 406 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,467 TIGHTER. 407 00:21:46,567 --> 00:21:49,700 - DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT ON THE MUSTACHE?