1 00:00:01,633 --> 00:00:03,167 [doorbell rings] - MARIE, DOOR! 2 00:00:03,167 --> 00:00:05,267 - I'M IN THE KITCHEN. 3 00:00:05,267 --> 00:00:08,133 PUT YOUR PANTS ON AND GET IT YOURSELF! 4 00:00:09,633 --> 00:00:11,900 - I GOT PANTS ON. 5 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:12,933 [doorbell rings] 6 00:00:12,933 --> 00:00:14,700 I'M COMIN' ALREADY! 7 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,700 MARCO. 8 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:23,100 - IS THIS A BAD TIME? 9 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,167 - NO, NO, NO. 10 00:00:24,167 --> 00:00:26,900 FOR YOU, I ZIP. 11 00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:28,433 HEY, COME ON IN. 12 00:00:28,433 --> 00:00:30,967 IT'S, UH, GOOD TO SEE YOU. 13 00:00:30,967 --> 00:00:32,667 - NICE SEEING YOU. 14 00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:34,700 MAYBE SOMETIME WE PLAY BOCCE, LIKE IN ITALY. 15 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,600 - YEAH, GREAT. 16 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,333 SO HOW DO YOU LIKE LIVIN' IN AMERICA? 17 00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:40,300 HOW'S THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS? 18 00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:41,767 - AH, IT'S NOT LIKE HOME. 19 00:00:41,767 --> 00:00:45,467 EVERYBODY, THEY STEAL HERE. ALL THE TIME. 20 00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:47,433 - THEY DON'T STEAL IN ITALY? 21 00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:51,967 - IN ITALY, THEY STEAL ONLY ONCE. 22 00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:53,733 - YOU WANT A BEER? 23 00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:55,200 - IS YOUR WIFE HERE? 24 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,833 - YEAH, BUT SHE WON'T BOTHER US. 25 00:00:57,833 --> 00:00:59,267 SIT DOWN. OPEN YOUR PANTS. 26 00:01:01,167 --> 00:01:03,433 - WHO IS IT--OH! 27 00:01:03,433 --> 00:01:06,767 HELLO, MARCO. WHAT A NICE SURPRISE. 28 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,000 - BUON GIORNO. 29 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,467 - YEAH, BUON GIORNO. 30 00:01:09,467 --> 00:01:11,867 THAT'S ITALIAN FOR "BEER, MARIE!" 31 00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:14,567 - RIGHT AWAY, FRANK. 32 00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:16,533 WOULD YOU LIKE IT IN A BOTTLE OVER YOUR HEAD 33 00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:19,067 OR IN A CAN SOMEWHERE ELSE? 34 00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:22,733 - SCUSA, MARIE, BUT I COME TO SEE YOU. 35 00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:23,833 - REALLY? 36 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,133 - MY DAUGHTER STEFANIA SAYS 37 00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:26,767 YOU'RE A GREAT TEACHER OF PIANO. 38 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:30,633 WITH RESPECT, I ASK YOU FOR FAVOR. 39 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:32,733 COULD YOU TEACH ME? 40 00:01:32,733 --> 00:01:34,100 - WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING? 41 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:37,433 - MY MOTHER, ALL HER LIFE, SHE LOVES MUSIC. 42 00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:39,500 SHE ALWAYS WANTS ME TO PLAY. 43 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,700 BUT THEN WHEN SHE GETS SICK, I PROMISE HER TO LEARN... 44 00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,700 THEN SHE DIE. 45 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,100 - OH... 46 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:48,400 - SO YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK. 47 00:01:50,467 --> 00:01:52,067 - FRANK! 48 00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:55,500 THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD, MARCO. 49 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,400 - BUT IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 50 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,167 I'M AFRAID NOW, MAYBE I'M TOO OLD. 51 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:02,767 - OH, NO, YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR MOTHER. 52 00:02:02,767 --> 00:02:04,867 COME ON, I'LL TEACH YOU RIGHT NOW. 53 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:06,100 - NOW? 54 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:09,867 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BEER HERE! 55 00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:11,433 - BEER? 56 00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:16,767 HERE IS A MAN WHO THIRSTS FOR SOMETHING MORE THAN ALCOHOL. 57 00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:20,533 HERE'S A MAN WHO WANTS MUSIC IN HIS LIFE. 58 00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:26,333 - I COULD USE A LITTLE MUSIC IN MY LIFE. 59 00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:28,600 THE SWEET SOUND OF THE WHITE COATS 60 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,400 COMING TO TAKE YOU OFF TO THE NUT FARM. 61 00:02:33,367 --> 00:02:37,333 - ANOTHER SEASON OF "EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND." 62 00:02:38,633 --> 00:02:41,067 - [growling] 63 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:52,300 - HA, HA, HA. 64 00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:07,767 - CAN'T KICK IT 55 YARDS. 65 00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:08,933 JUST GO FOR IT. 66 00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:10,000 - OH, NO, HE CAN MAKE THIS. 67 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,533 - IT'S GOOD. 68 00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:12,733 - HE GOT IT. I CAN'T-- 69 00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:13,733 - YOU GOTTA BELIEVE! 70 00:03:13,733 --> 00:03:15,067 - I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 71 00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:16,367 - HEY, YOU'RE GONNA WAKE THE KIDS. 72 00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:18,000 BE QUIET. KEEP IT DOWN. 73 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,500 - YOU GOTTA BELIEVE. 74 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,067 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THE JETS ARE GOING TO WIN. 75 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,933 - HEY, DAD, THE JETS JUST TIED IT! 76 00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:28,100 - GIVE IT UP, PAPA! 77 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,067 - GET AWAY FROM ME, YA MORON. 78 00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:33,333 - WHAT'S WITH YOU? 79 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:34,833 - THE JETS, MAN. THEY TIED THE GAME. 80 00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:36,167 - WOULD YOU CAN IT? 81 00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:38,100 I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME HERE. 82 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,300 CHIPS, DEBRA! 83 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,600 - HEY, DAD, IF YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE THAT, 84 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,167 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO WATCH THE GAME AT YOUR OWN HOUSE? 85 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:46,767 - I CAN'T. 86 00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:50,100 YOUR MOTHER'S GIVING MARCO ANOTHER PIANO LESSON. 87 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,267 - DIDN'T HE HAVE ONE YESTERDAY? 88 00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:54,000 - EVERY DAY... 89 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,833 FOR TWO WEEKS NOW. 90 00:03:56,833 --> 00:03:58,233 - MARCO? 91 00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:00,100 THE ONLY THING I SEE THAT GUY PLAYING 92 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,100 IS THE ORGAN IN A HAUNTED HOUSE. 93 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:05,233 - [chuckles] 94 00:04:05,233 --> 00:04:06,500 - THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 95 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,400 - IT'S NOT JUST THE LESSONS ANYMORE. 96 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,000 THEY'RE HANGING OUT NOW. 97 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000 THEY'RE FRIENDS. 98 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,833 - [sarcastically] CHIPS, FRANK. 99 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:18,433 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FRIENDS? 100 00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:20,633 - THEY'RE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME PLAYING PIANO, 101 00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:21,833 SWAPPIN' RECIPES. 102 00:04:21,833 --> 00:04:24,667 SOMETIMES THEY SIT AND LISTEN TO OPERA... 103 00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:27,500 AND CRY! 104 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,267 - SOUNDS LIKE THIS IS BOTHERING YOU A LITTLE BIT, FRANK. 105 00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:32,900 - OPERA, JUST WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS... 106 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:35,367 MORE FAT WOMEN SCREAMING. 107 00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:43,433 - YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? 108 00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:47,033 I THINK MAYBE YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS, FRANK. 109 00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:48,067 - SHUT UP. 110 00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:49,500 - [laughing] 111 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,133 [baby talk] ARE YOU A LITTLE JEALOUS, FRANKIE? 112 00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:52,433 ARE YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS? 113 00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:54,033 - NO, DON'T DO THAT, HONEY. 114 00:04:54,033 --> 00:04:55,633 - YEAH, CAREFUL. WATCH YOUR FINGER. 115 00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:58,333 - ALL RIGHT! 116 00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:00,333 SO I'M A LITTLE JEALOUS! 117 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,633 HE SHOULDN'T BE WITH HER! 118 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:04,700 HE SHOULD BE WITH ME! 119 00:05:09,233 --> 00:05:10,900 - WHAT? - HUH? 120 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,500 - HE WAS MY FRIEND FIRST! 121 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:15,100 WE PLAYED BOCCE IN ITALY. 122 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:19,933 NOW HE COMES IN THE DOOR-- IT'S LIKE I DON'T EXIST. 123 00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:21,567 - OH, CHEER UP, DAD. 124 00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:26,100 I'M SURE THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE FOR YOU SOMEWHERE. 125 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:30,333 - YEAH, MAYBE MARCO HAS A BROTHER... 126 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,800 IN THE BELL TOWER. 127 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,967 - I WANT HIM OUT OF MY HOUSE. 128 00:05:37,967 --> 00:05:39,467 - SO THROW HIM OUT. 129 00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:42,000 - RAY, LET YOUR PARENTS WORK THIS OUT FOR THEMSELVES. 130 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,367 - I'M JUST SAYING, YOU WANT SOMEONE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, 131 00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:45,500 YOU THROW 'EM OUT. 132 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,767 - YEAH, YOU'RE THE EXPERT. 133 00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:51,200 - YOU, OUT! 134 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,367 I'M KIDDING. YOU STAY. 135 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,633 - HEY, HE CAN'T JUST THROW HIM OUT. 136 00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:58,700 I MEAN, MARCO'S NOT THE KIND OF GUY YOU MESS WITH. 137 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,200 - MARCO? 138 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,667 THAT GUY'S NO BIGGER THAN A BAG OF LAUNDRY. 139 00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:04,500 - REMEMBER WHEN HE TOOK OVER NEMO'S PIZZA? 140 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,333 AND I SAID, "WHAT HAPPENED TO NEMO?" 141 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,900 AND HE LOOKED AT ME WITH THAT FACE AND SAID, 142 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,500 "HE GO AWAY." 143 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,167 HAS ANYBODY SEEN NEMO SINCE? 144 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,233 HUH? POSTCARD? 145 00:06:16,233 --> 00:06:17,400 ANYTHING? NO. 146 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,067 MARCO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE GO AWAY, 147 00:06:19,067 --> 00:06:22,433 AND THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING. 148 00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:24,867 - HE DON'T SCARE ME, AND I'M THROWING HIM OUT! 149 00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:26,200 - OH, WAIT A MINUTE, FRANK. 150 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,933 WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL MARCO HOW YOU FEEL? 151 00:06:27,933 --> 00:06:30,067 THAT YOU WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND TOO. 152 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:33,233 - WHAT AM I, WEARING A SKIRT AND MARY JANES? 153 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,967 I'M THROWIN' HIM OUT! 154 00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:40,667 - SAY HI TO NEMO FOR US. 155 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,333 - AND STAY OUT! 156 00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:53,600 [piano notes plinking] 157 00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:03,200 - [speaking Italian] 158 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,933 - MARCO, NO, DON'T SMASH YOUR FINGERS. 159 00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:07,833 YOUR FINGERS ARE YOUR TOOLS. 160 00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:10,000 - I AM [speaking Italian ]. 161 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,500 I'M A STINKY CODFISH. 162 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,300 - YOU'RE NOT A STINKY CODFISH. 163 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:19,400 YOU'RE A GOOD BOY WHO LOVES HIS MOTHER. 164 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,200 BUT COME ON, YOU ONLY HAVE A WEEK 165 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,567 TO LEARN THIS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY PARTY. 166 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,733 - YOU SHOULD HAVE GREAT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, NOT ME. 167 00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:29,300 - NONSENSE. YOU'RE GONNA BE WONDERFUL. 168 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,733 BUT KEEP PRACTICING, 169 00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:32,300 AND THEN LATER, WE'LL MAKE BISCOTTI. 170 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:35,000 - I LIKE YOUR BISCOTTI. 171 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,200 - I'LL GO MAKE US SOME TEA. 172 00:07:39,933 --> 00:07:42,833 - [practices piano] 173 00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:45,133 [hits wrong note] 174 00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:46,667 MM, MM, MMH! 175 00:07:50,167 --> 00:07:51,967 - LISTEN, MARCO... 176 00:07:51,967 --> 00:07:54,167 I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO YOU. 177 00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,433 - AND I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO YOU. 178 00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:58,033 SIT! 179 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,667 I CANNOT HELP BUT NOTICE 180 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,100 EVERY TIME I HAVE A LESSON, YOU LEAVE. 181 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,333 IT'S RUDE. 182 00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:08,667 - I'M SORRY. 183 00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:14,600 - NO, IT IS RUDE OF ME TO INVADE YOUR HOUSE 184 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,167 AND TAKE YOU AWAY FROM YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE. 185 00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:20,267 - MY WHAT? 186 00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:26,500 - FORGIVE ME. 187 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,900 YOU OPEN YOUR HOUSE TO ME, 188 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:32,233 AND I STINK IT UP. 189 00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:35,767 - OH, HEY, HEY, IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AT ALL. 190 00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:38,100 - YOU ARE TOO KIND. 191 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,767 NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY TO ME? 192 00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:42,700 - UH... 193 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:45,133 YOU PLAY POKER? 194 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:48,000 - I'M GOOD AT POKER. 195 00:08:49,233 --> 00:08:51,633 - THERE'S A GAME AT MY LODGE TONIGHT. 196 00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:52,700 YOU IN? 197 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,900 - IT WOULD BE HONOR, 198 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,000 BUT FIRST I BUY YOU DINNER AT MY RESTAURANT. 199 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,033 - DON'T HAVE TO ASK ME TWICE. 200 00:08:59,033 --> 00:09:00,433 - TEATIME. 201 00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:01,900 - UH, MARIE, I'M TAKIN' MARCO 202 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,467 TO THE LODGE FOR POKER. 203 00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,600 - BUT MARCO HASN'T FINISHED HIS LESSON YET. 204 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,200 - MARIE, I'M DONE WITH PIANO. 205 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,633 I TRIED, BUT I CANNOT MAKE IT WORK. 206 00:09:12,633 --> 00:09:13,833 - YOU'RE QUITTING? 207 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:17,367 YOU CAN'T QUIT. YOU PROMISED YOUR MOTHER. 208 00:09:17,367 --> 00:09:20,767 - I KNOW. I KNOW, BUT... 209 00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:22,600 SHE'S DEAD. 210 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,833 - BUT SHE CAN STILL SEE YOU. 211 00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:36,000 - I'M SORRY, MARIE. 212 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,433 YOU COME TO HAVE DINNER WITH US. 213 00:09:37,433 --> 00:09:38,733 - NO, NO. I DON'T THINK SO. 214 00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,267 WHY DON'T YOU BOYS GO TO THE LODGE? 215 00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:42,400 - YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE LODGE, MARCO. 216 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,533 THEY GOT CARDS, CHECKERS, A SWIMMING POOL. 217 00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:48,167 IT'S GREAT. EVERYBODY SWIMS NAKED. 218 00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:51,733 - IS THIS A HEATED POOL? 219 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,300 - HE'LL BE BACK. 220 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,700 ONE LOOK AT FRANK NAKED-- HE'LL BE BACK. 221 00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:11,233 [kids screaming] 222 00:10:11,233 --> 00:10:14,767 - STOP IT RIGHT NOW! GO TO SLEEP! 223 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,033 - NO, NO. 224 00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:21,567 NO, IT'S NOTHING. DEBRA'S READIN' THEM A STORY. 225 00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,733 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, REMEMBER, WE'RE TEEING OFF AT 7:00. 226 00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:27,200 OH, DON'T BE LATE. ALL RIGHT. 227 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,933 - WHY DIDN'T YOU COME UP AND HELP ME? 228 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,500 - I WAS TALKING TO GIANNI. 229 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,033 - DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE SCREAMING? 230 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:37,167 - I HEARD YOU SCREAMIN'. 231 00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:39,600 - I'M GONNA KILL YOUR FATHER. 232 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:45,367 - OH, NO, MOM. DON'T. 233 00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:47,600 - MARCO IS MY FRIEND. NOW I NEVER SEE HIM ANYMORE. 234 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,300 HE'S ALWAYS WITH YOUR FATHER. 235 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:53,533 THEY'RE WATCHING SPORTS OR SWIMMING NUDE AT THE LODGE. 236 00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:57,133 - THERE ISN'T ENOUGH CHLORINE IN THE WORLD. 237 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,000 - I MEAN, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG, 238 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000 I HAD A REAL COMPANION, 239 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,167 SOMEONE I COULD TALK TO. 240 00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:06,800 DO SOMETHING, RAYMOND. 241 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,900 - ME? WHAT? 242 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,333 - TALK TO YOUR FATHER. 243 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:13,133 - NO, NO, STICK TO THE PLAN WHERE YOU KILL HIM. 244 00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:15,333 - TELL HIM TO LEAVE MARCO ALONE. 245 00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:17,467 - MA, I DON'T WANT TO GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS. 246 00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:19,000 - I DON'T WANT YOU IN THE MIDDLE. 247 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,733 I WANT YOU ON MY SIDE. 248 00:11:20,733 --> 00:11:22,400 - NO, LOOK, MOM, I THINK YOU AND DAD 249 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,467 CAN WORK THIS OUT YOURSELVES, RIGHT, DEB? 250 00:11:24,467 --> 00:11:25,700 - NO, RAY. 251 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:28,233 TELL YOUR FATHER TO GIVE HER BACK HER FRIEND. 252 00:11:28,233 --> 00:11:31,033 - WHAT HAPPENED TO "STAY OUT OF IT"? 253 00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:32,967 - I FEEL FOR YOUR MOTHER. 254 00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:35,367 - YOU DO? - YES. 255 00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:36,600 - DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY 256 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,333 FOR MARIE TO MEET PEOPLE AND MAKE FRIENDS 257 00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:39,600 WHEN SHE SPENT HER WHOLE LIFE 258 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,433 STUCK IN A HOUSE WITH A LUMP OF A HUSBAND 259 00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:43,100 WHO, INSTEAD OF PUTTIN' HIS OWN KIDS TO BED, 260 00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:47,200 IS ON THE PHONE WITH HIS PALS MAKIN' A GOLF DATE? 261 00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:53,467 - WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HATE ONE MAN A TIME? 262 00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:56,433 - HEY, MARIE, TICK-TOCK. 263 00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:59,033 WHERE'S MY DINNER? 264 00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:03,567 - RAYMOND HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU. 265 00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:04,800 - WHAT? 266 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,333 - [mumbling] WHAT... 267 00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:08,600 - STAY AWAY FROM MARCO. - YEAH. 268 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,467 - SINCE WHEN DO YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO? 269 00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:20,933 - I'M NOT--I'M NOT TALKING. THEY ARE. 270 00:12:20,933 --> 00:12:23,067 - MARCO WAS MY FRIEND. 271 00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:25,333 - OH, YEAH? HE TRADED UP. 272 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:30,267 - THAT'S IT, FRANK. THAT'S IT. 273 00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:32,567 YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY. 274 00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:35,567 - WHO NEEDS AN INVITATION? IT'S AT MY HOUSE! 275 00:12:35,567 --> 00:12:36,967 - NOT ANYMORE! 276 00:12:36,967 --> 00:12:39,033 I'M GONNA HAVE IT RIGHT HERE AT RAYMOND'S HOUSE. 277 00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:41,200 - THANKS A LOT! - WHAT DID I DO? 278 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,600 - FORGET IT! 279 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,467 I'LL JUST GO TO THE LODGE WITH MARCO. 280 00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:46,833 - YOU CAN'T; I'VE ALREADY INVITED HIM TO THE PARTY, 281 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,767 AND HE'S GONNA PLAY "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO ME ON THE PIANO. 282 00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:53,933 - WHERE'S MY DINNER? 283 00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:55,700 - AT THE LODGE. 284 00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:04,133 - NEXT TIME, YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! 285 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,400 [door slams] 286 00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:12,667 - WHAT? 287 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,433 - YOU'RE REALLY WITH MY MOTHER ON THIS, HUH? 288 00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:17,333 THAT'S THE HORSE YOU'RE BACKIN'? 289 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:20,633 - BETTER MY HORSE THAN YOUR JACKASS. 290 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,233 - HEY, MY JACKASS HAPPENS TO HAVE A POINT, OKAY? 291 00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:24,700 HE'S RIGHT. 292 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,167 IF MARCO'S GONNA BE WITH ANYBODY, 293 00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:27,833 IT SHOULD BE HIM, NOT HER. 294 00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:30,000 - WHAT, YOUR MOTHER'S NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A FRIEND? 295 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,467 - NOT A MALE FRIEND, NO. SHE'S MY MOTHER. 296 00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:34,400 - SO? 297 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,133 - SO SHE'S A MARRIED WOMAN. 298 00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:37,833 IT'S CREEPY. 299 00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:41,867 - SO DOES THAT MEAN THAT I CAN'T HAVE ANY MALE FRIENDS? 300 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:44,200 - YOU CAN HAVE AS MANY MALE FRIENDS AS YOU WANT, 301 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,367 AS LONG AS THEY'RE ALL GAY. 302 00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,700 - YOU KNOW, RAY, I MAY HAVE SOME PROBLEMS WITH YOUR MOTHER, 303 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,567 BUT SHE CAN BE FRIENDS WITH WHOEVER SHE WANTS, 304 00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:58,067 AND I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER I CAN TO ENCOURAGE HER. 305 00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,433 - ALL RIGHT, FINE! 306 00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:03,600 BUT FROM NOW ON IN MY HEAD, MARCO'S GAY. 307 00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:11,033 [doorbell rings] 308 00:14:11,033 --> 00:14:12,367 - OH. 309 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,833 MARCO. 310 00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:19,167 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARIE. 311 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,400 - THIS IS MY COUSIN GINA 312 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,500 AND MY NEPHEW GERARD. 313 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,967 AND THIS MY DEAR FRIEND MARCO FOGANOLO. 314 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:30,100 I FOUND HIM IN ITALY. 315 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:33,467 - HOW DO YOU DO? 316 00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:36,267 - ISN'T HE DELIGHTFUL? 317 00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:39,133 - HE LOOKS SO AUTHENTIC. 318 00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:42,967 - I NEVER MET AN ITALIAN FROM ITALY BEFORE. 319 00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:46,600 [slowly] HELLO... 320 00:14:52,733 --> 00:14:54,233 - WHERE'S FRANK? 321 00:14:54,233 --> 00:14:55,767 - OH, FRANK'S NOT COMING. 322 00:14:55,767 --> 00:14:56,867 - WHY NOT? 323 00:14:56,867 --> 00:15:00,467 - HE'S SICK-- SWINE FLU. 324 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,967 - COME ON, RAY, ARE YOU GONNA SIT THERE ALL DAY? 325 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,167 JUST JOIN THE PARTY. 326 00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,367 - NO, NO. IT'S NOT RIGHT. 327 00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:10,067 MY MOM AND HER... BOYFRIEND. 328 00:15:10,067 --> 00:15:11,633 - I THOUGHT YOU MADE HIM GAY. 329 00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:15,800 - YEAH, WELL, I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THAT. 330 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,567 NO, I MEAN, COME ON, MY DAD SHOULD BE HERE. 331 00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,767 - HMM, WHAT IS IT THAT YOU MISS THE MOST-- 332 00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:23,333 THE BURPING, THE FINGER IN THE FROSTING, 333 00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:26,067 HIS WIPING HIS MOUTH ON THE CURTAINS? 334 00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:30,633 - IF YOU MUST KNOW, I MISS THE SHIRTTAIL OUT THE FLY. 335 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,633 - AAAARH! COME ON! 336 00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:38,700 [groaning] 337 00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:45,267 - BE CAREFUL, ROBERT, YOU'LL SCRATCH THE FINISH. 338 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,500 - MA. 339 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,467 MA, WHY IS YOUR PIANO COMIN' INTO MY HOUSE? 340 00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:51,833 - OH, IT'S FOR THE PARTY. 341 00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,667 MARCO'S GONNA PLAY ME "HAPPY BIRTHDAY." 342 00:15:53,667 --> 00:15:56,000 - UHHH! 343 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,500 THANKS, EVERYBODY. I GOT IT. 344 00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:05,100 YEOW! OOH! GAW! 345 00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:10,367 OOOOH! 346 00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:12,333 OH! 347 00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:15,467 - IS IT YOUR BACK? 348 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:24,000 - NO. I'M FROM JAPAN. 349 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,767 I BRING GREETINGS FROM THE EMPEROR. 350 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,300 - RAY, GET HIM SOME ICE. 351 00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:35,000 - FABULOUS PARTY. 352 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,133 - AAH! 353 00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:45,000 WHAT ARE YOU-- 354 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,267 WHERE'D YOU COME FROM? 355 00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:47,600 - THE LAUNDRY ROOM. 356 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,733 - HOW LONG YOU BEEN HIDING IN THERE? 357 00:16:49,733 --> 00:16:54,433 - LONG ENOUGH TO SEE YOU COULD USE SOME NEW UNDERWEAR. 358 00:16:54,433 --> 00:16:59,700 - YEAH, WELL, I COULD USE SOME NOW. 359 00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:02,533 - GET MARCO IN HERE. I WANT TO TALK TO HIM. 360 00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:04,867 - RAY, WHERE'S THE-- 361 00:17:04,867 --> 00:17:06,433 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 362 00:17:06,433 --> 00:17:08,433 - BURPING. 363 00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:12,733 NOW MAYBE I'LL WIPE MY MOUTH ON THE CURTAIN. 364 00:17:12,733 --> 00:17:16,667 - UHH, UHH, UHH, UHH, UHH, UHH... 365 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:17,833 - AW, COME ON. 366 00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:22,800 IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A GRAND PIANO. 367 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,567 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 368 00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:27,000 - I'M JUST STOPPING BY TO SEE IF MY FRIEND MARCO 369 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,667 WANTS TO PLAY SOME BOCCE. 370 00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:31,367 - WELL, HE DOESN'T, BECAUSE HE'S HERE FOR ME. 371 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,200 - WELL, HE'D RATHER BE WITH ME. 372 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,533 HE LIKES ME BETTER. 373 00:17:34,533 --> 00:17:37,300 - HA! NOBODY LIKES YOU BETTER. 374 00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,400 - OH, YEAH? LET'S ASK HIM. 375 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,100 - OH, YOU CAN'T DO THAT, FRANK. 376 00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,600 - WELL, WHY NOT? BRING HIM IN HERE. 377 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,233 - HEY, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. - YOU SCARED? 378 00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:47,533 - FRANK, YOU ARE RUINING MY BIRTHDAY PARTY! 379 00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:49,367 - YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING ELSE! 380 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:50,500 MARCO! 381 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,867 - EXCUSE ME, HOW'S THAT ICE COMING? 382 00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:56,800 - ALL RIGHT, ROBERT. JEEZ. 383 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,600 - HEY, MARCO. 384 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,667 WHOSE FRIEND DO YOU WANT TO BE? 385 00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:03,400 - FRANK, I THOUGHT YOU HAD THE SWINE FLU. 386 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,900 - SHE TOLD YOU THAT? 387 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,533 YOU WILL STOP AT NOTHING. 388 00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:09,133 WHO DO YOU WANT TO STICK WITH, 389 00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,667 ME OR THE LIAR? 390 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,867 - YOU WANT ME TO CHOOSE? 391 00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:16,200 - THAT'S RIGHT. 392 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,500 SHE THINKS YOU LIKE HER BETTER 393 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,100 AND WANT TO BE HER FRIEND. 394 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,633 - WHY SHOULDN'T HE BE HER FRIEND? 395 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,867 THEY ENJOY EACH OTHER. 396 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,600 - SURE, NOW, 397 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,667 BUT HE'S GONNA FIND IT'S A QUICK TRIP TO NAGVILLE. 398 00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:29,600 AM I WRONG? 399 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,600 IT'S ALREADY STARTED WITH THE PIANO LESSONS. 400 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,800 YOU SAID YOURSELF 401 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,400 YOU DIDN'T WANT TO PLAY PIANO ANYMORE. 402 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,633 - SOMEBODY COULD HAVE TOLD ME. 403 00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:44,100 - WHY CAN'T I BE BOTH YOUR FRIENDS? 404 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,233 - WELL, FOR ONE THING, 405 00:18:45,233 --> 00:18:46,467 I FIND THAT PEOPLE WHO LIKE ME 406 00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:49,933 GENERALLY CAN'T STAND HIM. 407 00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:51,133 - MA, I DON'T GET THIS, 408 00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:52,400 THERE'S GOT TO BE PLENTY OF LADIES 409 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,900 YOU CAN BE FRIENDS WITH OUT THERE. 410 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,800 HIT THE BINGO CIRCUIT. 411 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,633 - WHAT ABOUT YOUR FATHER? 412 00:18:58,633 --> 00:19:02,767 THERE'S ENOUGH NAKED, WRINKLY OLD MEN AT THE LODGE FOR HIM. 413 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:07,033 - PLEASE, I'M ALREADY IN THE VOMITING POSITION. 414 00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:10,733 - SO PICK ALREADY. 415 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,567 - I DON'T LIKE THIS. 416 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:13,933 THIS IS NOT RIGHT. 417 00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:16,433 THIS IS NOT A HUSBAND AND WIFE. 418 00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:20,767 BEFORE MY WIFE DIED, WE WERE FRIENDS. 419 00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,400 - ARE YOU GONNA PICK OR NOT? 420 00:19:33,767 --> 00:19:35,333 - THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? 421 00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:40,533 I CHOOSE FRANK. 422 00:19:40,533 --> 00:19:42,233 - YES. 423 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:48,933 - I'M SORRY. 424 00:19:48,933 --> 00:19:50,867 - NO, LISTEN, I UNDERSTAND. 425 00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:52,433 - I DID NOT WANT TO CHOOSE. 426 00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,267 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN, MARCO. 427 00:19:54,267 --> 00:19:56,567 WHY DON'T WE ALL HAVE SOME CAKE? 428 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,300 - HEY, MARIE, WAIT A SECOND. 429 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,167 YOU TAKE HIM. 430 00:20:11,167 --> 00:20:12,900 - NO, THAT'S OKAY, FRANK. 431 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:15,667 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. YOU KEEP HIM. 432 00:20:18,867 --> 00:20:21,800 - NO, I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE. 433 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,200 - I WANT YOU TWO GUYS TO GO AND HAVE FUN. 434 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,600 GO TO THE LODGE. 435 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,333 - NAH, I GOT PLENTY OF FRIENDS AT THE LODGE, 436 00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:32,133 SO, UH...YOU TAKE HIM. 437 00:20:32,133 --> 00:20:34,400 - FRANK, I DON'T WANT HIM ALL THE TIME. 438 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,400 CAN'T YOU TAKE HIM SOME OF THE TIME? 439 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,800 - SO NOW YOU'RE STICKING ME WITH HIM? 440 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,033 - THIS IS SO TYPICAL OF YOU. 441 00:20:44,633 --> 00:20:46,633 - HEY. CAKE! 442 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,067 - ALL RIGHT, SO YOU SHOULD PLAY "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" ON THE PIANO. 443 00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:56,000 - ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA PLAY A DIRTY VERSION, THOUGH. 444 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,533 [singing] TINY BUTT DAY TO YOU 445 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,233 - REJECTED BY BOTH OF THEM. 446 00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:05,400 BOY, I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS. 447 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,933 THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MARCO. LET IT OUT. 448 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,467 LET IT ALL OUT. 449 00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,067 THAT'S IT. 450 00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:23,100 - SO THAT WAS A GOOD PARTY. 451 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:25,467 - WHAT? HOW WAS THAT GOOD FOR YOUR MOTHER? 452 00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:27,100 YOU GUYS MADE HER LOSE A FRIEND. 453 00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:28,767 - AW, COME ON. DON'T START. 454 00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:31,267 - LISTEN, RAY, I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 455 00:21:31,267 --> 00:21:33,000 IF I MEET SOMEBODY AND I WANT TO BE THEIR FRIEND, 456 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,700 I'M NOT GONNA TOLERATE ANY OF YOUR CAVEMAN CRAP. 457 00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:38,333 I DON'T CARE WHAT SEX THEY ARE; A FRIEND IS A FRIEND, 458 00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:40,800 AND I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH WHOEVER I WANT. 459 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,600 [doorbell rings] 460 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:47,233 - HELLO. I AM LOOKING FOR MY FATHER. 461 00:21:47,233 --> 00:21:48,667 HE IS HERE? 462 00:21:48,667 --> 00:21:52,033 - NO, NO, HE ISN'T, BUT COME IN, FRIEND.