- HEY, MA. - HELLO, DEAR.
- WHATCHA DOIN' THERE?
- OH, THIS?
THIS IS CALLED "POLISHING SILVER."
- YEAH, I KNOW THAT.
IT'S JUST THAT WE DON'T OFTEN SEE YOUR SILVER.
- PLEASE, STOP HINTING, DEBRA.
THE SILVER'S GOING TO ROBBIE.
IT'S ALREADY IN THE WILL. - OKAY.
- WHAT'S THIS, FOR LEE AND STAN'S ANNIVERSARY PARTY?
- THEIR 45TH.
THEY'RE OUR DEAREST FRIENDS, BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I NEVER THOUGHT THEY'D LAST THIS LONG.
- WHERE YOU GOIN', ROBERT?
- WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN THERE?
- OH, ROBBIE'S HELPING YOUR FATHER
WRITE A FUNNY SPEECH FOR LEE AND STAN.
- GET BACK HERE! WE'RE NOT DONE!
- OH, WE'RE DONE, OLD MAN!
- FINE, FINE!
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP ANYMORE!
MARIE, I'M NOT DOING THE STUPID SPEECH.
- IT'S THE ONE THING YOU HAVE TO DO FOR THE PARTY!
- WELL, NOW THE ONE THING I HAVE TO DO IS EAT SHRIMP.
- YOU HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING.
THEY'RE OUR DEAREST FRIENDS.
- TO HELL WITH THEM.
- OH, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!
WOULD YOU TALK TO HIM?
HE HAS TO WRITE SOMETHING. OTHERWISE--
RAYMOND...
- MA, DON'T EVEN THINK OF IT.
- RAYMOND...
- BACK! BACK! BACK!
- UH-UH-UH-UH-UH-UH. READ THE WILL.
- YOU CAN DO IT, RAYMOND.
YOU CAN DO LEE AND STAN'S TRIBUTE!
- [mimicking] NO, I CAN'T!
- THEY'LL BE SO THRILLED!
- MA, PLEASE, I HARDLY KNOW 'EM.
- RAYMOND, THEY'RE OUR DEAREST FRIENDS.
- NO! NO! NO!
- WE'RE PRACTICALLY RELATED. YOU LIVED AT THEIR HOUSE!
- WHAT?
- WHEN YOUR FATHER AND I WENT TO ATLANTIC CITY.
- THAT WAS A WEEKEND.
- IT WAS A LONG WEEKEND.
- YOU SAID IT.
- OH, RAYMOND, YOU'LL BE WONDERFUL.
- MA, MA, I SPEND ALL DAY TRYING TO WRITE MY COLUMN.
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO COME UP WITH AN ANNIVERSARY SPEECH.
- IT'S NOT A SPEECH.
IT WAS A SPEECH WHEN YOUR FATHER WAS DOING IT,
'CAUSE THAT'S ALL HE COULD HANDLE.
BUT YOU... YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!
- NOT ANYTHING. IN FACT, NOTHING.
- MAYBE YOU COULD DO, LIKE,
AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE OR SOMETHING.
- YOU COULD DO A THING WHERE YOU SHUT IT!
- HEY, LISTEN, RAY, WHATEVER YOU DO,
TRY TO MENTION THAT MY NAME IS DEBRA.
LEE KEEPS CALLING ME DONNA.
- ARE YOU HELPING ME?
- THIS HAS TO BE SPECIAL,
'CAUSE IT'S THE EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT.
SO I WANT YOU TO FEEL FREE TO GET CREATIVE.
- I'D LIKE TO FEEL FREE TO NOT DO THIS!
I'M NOT GOOD AT THIS STUFF!
- OH...
YOU'RE A WITTY AND CHARMING BOY.
WHY DON'T YOU DO A FUNNY POEM?
- A POEM? NO! NO WAY, NO!
- YOU DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT EVERYONE, RAYMOND.
- YEAH! YOU CAN'T HELP OUT?
- OH...
YOUR MOTHER THINKS I AM A MORON.
I AGREE TO HELP HER
AND HEAT UP SOME THINGS FOR THE PARTY TOMORROW.
LISTEN TO HER DIRECTIONS FOR ME:
"DEBRA, THESE ARE MINI QUICHES,"
THEN IN PARENTHESES, "FRENCH CHEESE PIES."
"PUT IN THE OVEN TOMORROW AT 6:00 P.M."
"P.M." IS UNDERLINED.
- SO WHAT? IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
- OH, NO? LISTEN TO THIS:
"CAUTION--OVEN GETS HOT."
- HEY, DEB. - HEY, ROBERT.
- WHAT'S UP, SHAKESPEARE?
- SHUT UP!
- HOW GOETH IT?
- I DON'T KNOW. HERE, LOOK AT THIS.
- "IT'S NO WONDER STAN WAS ATTRACTED TO LEE.
HE'S AN ACCOUNTANT, SO HE APPRECIATES GOOD FIGURES."
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
THAT LEE HAS A GOOD FIGURE?
HAVE YOU SEEN LEE?
- STOP IT! I KNOW, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT FUNNY.
THEY PLAY CARDS AND WALK AROUND THE MALL FOR EXERCISE.
THEY'RE BORING PEOPLE.
- YEAH, TOO BAD IT'S NOT MA AND DAD'S ANNIVERSARY.
THEN YOU'D HAVE MATERIAL! - OH!
YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKIN' OF THE OTHER DAY?
REMEMBER THE TIME MOM SEWED HIS FLY SHUT?
- WHAT? WHEN WAS THIS?
- YEAH, WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL,
AND SHE WAS SICK OF HIM SITTIN' ON THE COUCH
ALL OPEN AND UNZIPPED.
- YEAH, IT DIDN'T WORK, THOUGH.
HE'D JUST COME HOME, WHIP OFF HIS PANTS,
AND HANG 'EM ON THE FRONT DOORKNOB.
- THEN HE'D COME IN THE HOUSE.
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO, STUFF ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.
- IT'S LEE AND STAN'S THING.
- I KNOW, BUT YOU COULD DO, LIKE, A MARRIAGE COMPARISON,
YOU KNOW, WHERE LEE AND STAN
ARE A CLASSIC, SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE,
AND YOUR PARENTS ARE...
LESS CLASSICAL.
- THAT'S TRUE.
I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO BRING UP THE TIME
THEY DROVE A CAR THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WALL.
- YEAH, AS OPPOSED TO LEE AND STAN,
WHO PREFER TO RING THE DOORBELL.
[both laughing]
THAT'S GOOD. - YEAH.
OR...OR HOW 'BOUT THE TIME MY FATHER
ACCIDENTALLY GAVE OUT CONDOMS FOR HALLOWEEN?
- HOW 'BOUT THE TIME THAT THEY FOUGHT FOR A WEEK
BECAUSE THEY WERE LITERALLY COMPARING APPLES AND ORANGES?
- RIGHT...RIGHT!
I REMEMBER THAT. I HAD TO VOTE!
- YEAH.
THAT'S GOOD.
- HEY, THIS IS PRETTY GOOD STUFF.
MAYBE WE SHOULD DO IT.
YOU AND ME, WE COULD DO, LIKE, A SKIT.
- YEAH, SURE, I'LL DO IT WITH YOU.
- WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU CANNOT DO THAT.
- WHAT? YEAH, SURE WE CAN.
YOU CAN BE LEE AND MY MOM,
AND I'LL BE STAN AND MY DAD.
- OH, THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS. - YEAH.
WHAT ELSE WE GOT ON 'EM, LIKE THE PANTS THING?
- OH, NO, NO, NO.
LOOK, WHEN I SAID THAT, I WASN'T SERIOUS.
COUNT ME OUT.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE OUT. SO HOW SHOULD WE DO IT?
- NOW--NOW, LOOK. LOOK.
REALLY--LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, RAY.
THIS STUFF IS NOT FUNNY.
- WHAT? YOU WERE JUST LAUGHIN'.
- YEAH, BUT THAT WAS BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
THIS WOULD BE IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES
WITH ALL THEIR FRIENDS WATCHING.
- YEAH, SEE, THAT'S RIGHT, THEIR FRIENDS,
SO EVERYBODY WOULD KNOW WE WERE JUST KIDDIN' AROUND.
- YEAH. - NO.
I'M TELLING YOU, YOU SHOULDN'T DO THIS.
IT WOULD JUST HUMILIATE THEM,
AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE WATCHING!
- THE KIDS ARE GONNA BE AT A SLEEPOVER,
AND MOM AND DAD ARE UNHUMILIATABLE.
- I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS VERY RISKY.
- NO...IT'S FUNNY.
I THINK IT'S FUNNY. ISN'T IT FUNNY?
I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.
- AH, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T DO IT.
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS LIKE?
A GOOD SONG PARODY.
- A SONG PARODY? LIKE WHAT?
- HOW 'BOUT SOMETHING LIKE...
[singing to the tune of "Comin' Round the Mountain"]
LEE AND STAN HAVE BEEN MARRIED 45 YEARS
OH, THEY LIKE TO PLAY CANASTA
AND TAKE WALKS AROUND THE MALLS
AND WHY NOT? IT'S MARVELOUS EXERCISE
- I THINK THE SKIT IS FUNNY.
- WE'RE GONNA DO A SKIT. WE'RE GONNA DO A SKIT.
- SO OKAY, I'LL BE YOUR MOM...
[all laughing]
- OKAY, WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. - AND FINALLY...
THIS IS HOW LEE AND STAN MIGHT VISIT SOMEONE'S HOME.
DING-DONG!
HELLO! THANK YOU FOR INVITING US.
- OH, STAN, ISN'T THIS A LOVELY HOUSE?
- IT CERTAINLY IS, AND YOU ARE LOVELY TOO, LEE.
- OH, THANK YOU, STAN. I LOVE YOU.
- AND I LOVE YOU, LEE.
NOW...
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HOW FRANK AND MARIE
MIGHT VISIT SOMEONE'S HOME, SHALL WE?
- DO YOU THINK RAYMOND IS HOME?
- LET'S FIND OUT.
both: BA-BOOM!
- HELLO, DEARS.
- MAKE ME SOMETHIN' TO EAT!
- DON'T MIND ME.
I'LL JUST BE GOING THROUGH YOUR MAIL.
- AND I'LL JUST BE WATCHING YOUR TELEVISION.
- OH, FRANK, ZIP UP YOUR PANTS!
- ZIP UP YOUR MOUTH!
- OH, MY GOD, LOOK WHAT THEY LEAVE LYING AROUND,
THE "SPORTS ILLUSTRATED" SWIMSUIT ISSUE.
- HOLY CRAP! GIVE ME THAT!
- FRANK, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT REAL WOMEN LOOK LIKE.
- NO KIDDING.
- AND JUST WHAT MAGAZINE ARE YOU IN, FRANK,
"BALD AND GASSY"?
- HEY, MY PROBLEM IS,
I GOT A LIFETIME SUBSCRIPTION TO YOU!
- AND I CAN CANCEL IT AT ANY TIME!
- MAKE ME SOMETHIN' TO EAT!
- MAKE IT YOURSELF!
- IF I COULD MAKE IT MYSELF, YOU'D BE OUT ON THE CURB!
- YOU'D LOVE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?
- I THINK WE'D BOTH LOVE IT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WE BOTH LOVE?
both: LEE AND STAN! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
- OH, THAT'S GREAT.
THAT WAS SO FUNNY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I WAS CRYING, LAUGHING.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
- IT'S BETTER THAN BROADWAY.
- I DIDN'T LIKE IT. TOO MUCH LEE AND STAN.
[laughter]
- THAT WAS WONDERFUL!
I LIKED WHEN YOU CALLED HIM "BALD AND GASSY."
- I KNEW HIM WHEN HE WAS JUST GASSY.
- LOOK WHO'S TALKING!
- I SAID TO FRANK, "THAT'S YOU TO A 'T'!"
- YOU HAD THIS ONE DOWN PERFECTLY.
I WAS PETRIFIED!
- WELL, WE'RE GLAD YOU COULD ENJOY IT.
- BETTER THAN BROADWAY.
- THANK YOU. - THANKS.
- ALL RIGHT. - LET'S GET A DRINK.
- ALL RIGHT. NOW WE CAN ENJOY OURSELVES.
- WELL, RAYMOND, IT'S OFFICIAL:
THEY LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
- NO MATTER WHAT I DO?
YOU MEAN LIKE PROVIDE CROWD-PLEASING ENTERTAINMENT?
- IT JUST SHOULD BE NOTED THAT EVERYBODY WAS DRUNK.
- DRUNK WITH LAUGHTER.
- OH, MY, MY, MY.
YOU KNOW, I EXPECT THAT FROM RAYMOND
BUT NOT FROM YOU, DEBRA.
I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED.
- [singing] NO ONE'S GOING TO LISTEN TO ROBERT ANYMORE
NO ONE'S GOING TO LISTEN TO ROBERT ANYMORE
- ALL RIGHT!
- [singing] YOU WERE WRONG AND WE WERE FUNNY
AND YOU CAN'T STAND IT, HONEY
DID I MENTION THAT YOU'RE DUE BACK AT THE ZOO?
[both laughing]
- OH, WE SHOULD HAVE DONE THE SONG.
[laughs]
- WE COULD HAVE DONE THE SONG.
COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT SONG.
- GOOD-BYE, MAX.
- THANK YOU, DEAR. VERY NICE.
- THANKS FOR COMING, GARVIN.
- GREAT PARTY! FIRST-CLASS ENTERTAINMENT.
HEY, RAY, DEBRA... [laughs]
- HEY, THANK YOU, GARVIN. THANK YOU.
- HEY, ROBERT, I WANT TO SEE YOU IN THERE NEXT TIME.
YOU COULD BE, LIKE, A-- A BIG INDIAN
OR A--OR A--A BIG, FUNNY, GALUMPH-Y WAITER.
[laughs]
BYE! all: BYE.
- NEVER LIKED THAT GUY.
- MARIE, THIS WAS TERRIFIC.
- ABSOLUTELY. GARVIN WAS RIGHT.
YOUR SHOW WAS TOP-NOTCH.
- THANKS. THANK YOU.
- JUST REMEMBER WHO GOT RAYMOND TO DO IT.
- WELL, COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT DEBRA.
- WELL, WE HAD GREAT INSPIRATION.
- SHE'S RIGHT. WITHOUT US, NO SHOW.
- THAT'S TRUE.
- YOU TWO WERE SO GOOD.
- YOU KNOW, YOU AND FRANK BETTER GET READY,
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT
FOR THEIR ANNIVERSARY.
- OH, THAT, I'D LOVE TO SEE.
- WE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- ARE YOU KIDDIN'? IT'D BE A PIECE OF CAKE!
- OH, YEAH? - GIVE US A LITTLE, FRANK.
- NO, NO, NO. YOU TWO JUST DO US SOME MORE.
- NO, NO. GO AHEAD.
- [imitating Ray] "NO, NO. GO AHEAD."
- THAT'S HIM! WITH THE NASAL VOICE.
- YEAH, NASAL VOICE, ALL RIGHT.
- [whining] OH, I HURT MY PINKIE
WHEN I WAS TYPING!
THE KEYS WERE SO HARD!
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!
- [laughs]
- [imitating Debra] OH, STOP, RAY.
I'M TRYING TO HEAT UP SOUP FROM A CAN...
AND IT'S VERY TRICKY.
- THAT'S YOU, DONNA!
- [laughs] IT'S DEBRA.
- WHO CARES? PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME!
I'M A NEEDY, WHINY BABY!
MY PINKIE!
OH!
- STOP! STOP!
- RAY, YOU NEVER HELP ME WITH ANYTHING AROUND HERE.
IDIOT.
- YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME!
I WANT MY MOMMY!
- [laughing]
- THEN GO OVER THERE, BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY
TO BE NICE TO YOU.
- THAT'S PERFECT,
'CAUSE SHE'S SO MEAN TO HIM, ALWAYS!
- AND HE'S SUCH A BABY!
- I AM NOT!
- SEE? [laughs]
- STOP! MY STOMACH! YOU'RE KILLING ME!
- MORE! [laughs]
DO SOME MORE!
- YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S GETTIN' KIND OF LATE.
- YEAH, YEAH, IT IS. IT REALLY IS.
- HEY, HEY, DAD, DO HOW HE HAS NO ASS!
- I'M SORRY, BUT THAT IS MESSED UP!
I MEAN, THAT IS JUST NOT FUNNY!
- WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?
- WHY? BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO CLASS.
NO CLASS!
- RAYMOND, YOU LEFT WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE TO LEE AND STAN.
THAT WAS RUDE.
- YEAH, WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS?
- ME, MANNERS? YOU, MANNERS!
YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT, MAN.
THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR.
- I THINK THEY'RE THE FEEL-GOOD HIT OF THE SEASON.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, RAYMOND?
- OH, COME ON, MA, YOU DIDN'T LIKE OUR SKIT,
SO YOU WENT OUT OF YOUR WAY TO EMBARRASS US.
- WE LOVED YOUR SKIT. DIDN'T WE, FRANK?
- YEAH, FOR THOSE FIVE MINUTES,
I DIDN'T MIND EVERYBODY DRINKIN' MY BOOZE.
- OKAY, YOU KNOW, LET'S JUST BE HONEST, ALL RIGHT?
WE'RE SORRY WE MADE FUN OF YOU.
WE'RE SORRY WE HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
- HURT OUR FEELINGS? WE WERE LAUGHING.
EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING.
- WELL, THEN WHY'D YOU LASH OUT AT US?
- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
WE WERE BEIN' FUNNY, JUST LIKE YOU.
- BEIN' FUNNY, JUST LIKE US.
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING ABOUT HUMOR TO YOU PEOPLE.
YEAH, SEE? RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING THAT IS NOT FUNNY.
AND ALSO UGLY.
I THINK THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN
THAT USUALLY WHAT MAKES SOMETHING FUNNY IS ITS TONE,
A LIGHT, COMIC FEELING.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE WERE LAUGHING DURING OUR SKIT:
WE HAD THE SPIRIT OF FUN ABOUT US.
THEREFORE, THE AUDIENCE WAS FREE
TO FEEL COMFORTABLE AND AMUSED.
- WILL THIS LECTURE BE AVAILABLE ON AUDIOCASSETTE?
- I'M TELLING YOU, RAY,
I HEARD PEOPLE LAUGHING AT OUR STUFF TOO.
- YEAH, OKAY FINE, IF YOU WANT THAT KIND OF LAUGH.
THOSE WERE CHEAP LAUGHS.
- THEY WERE? - OF COURSE THEY WERE.
OH, GRANNY SAID "IDIOT."
WHAT'S CLEVER ABOUT THAT?
- YEAH, AND WHEN DID I EVER DO THIS?
- ALL RIGHT, SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT:
IT'S OKAY TO POKE FUN AT MOM AND DAD,
BUT YOU GUYS ARE STRICTLY OFF-LIMITS?
- NO, NO...
NO.
- I MEAN, COME ON, ROBERT!
THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE HERE!
WE HAD TO THINK UP WHAT WE WERE GONNA SAY.
THEY WERE SO READY WITH THEIR ATTACK!
- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT,
LIKE YOU PRACTICE IT IN YOUR BASEMENT.
- YEAH.
- AH...YOU KNOW, I THINK WHAT WE'RE SEEING HERE
IS THAT HUMOR, WHILE SO OFTEN A TONIC,
CAN BE A POISON TO THOSE UNPREPARED TO TAKE IT.
both: AH.
- YEAH, YEAH, GREAT.
WHY DON'T YOU BA-DOO-DEE-DO OUT OF HERE?
- OKAY...
NOW, SEE, A LINE LIKE THAT
JUST ROLLS OFF MY BACK,
WHEREAS IF I CALL YOU A NAME LIKE "NOSY NOSENSTEIN"...
YOU GET YOUR BIG HONKER ALL OUT OF WHACK.
BEEP! BEEP!
- LOOK, OUR SKIT WAS ALL IN FUN.
WE WERE EVEN WORRIED ABOUT OFFENDING YOU.
- WHY WOULD YOU BE OFFENDING US?
- YEAH, YOU THINK YOU'RE TELLING US STUFF WE DON'T KNOW?
MARIE KNOWS SHE'S A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS.
- AND FRANK KNOWS HE'S A PIG WITH SHOES.
- HEY, YEAH, I TELL YOU WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNY--
IF YOU HAD TALKED ABOUT THE TIME
WE DROVE THE CAR THROUGH YOUR HOUSE.
[both laughing]
- NOW, THAT WAS HYSTERICAL!
- OKAY, BUT--
YOU KNOW, I REALLY DID HURT MY PINKIE THAT TIME.
- OH, RAYMOND...
RAYMOND...
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME:
WE DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS
WITH OUR LITTLE IMITATIONS.
BUT NOW THAT I KNOW YOU BOTH ARE SO SENSITIVE,
WE WILL NEVER MAKE THOSE KINDS OF JOKES AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT?
- WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
I MEAN, YOU'RE IMPLYING THAT WE CAN'T TAKE A JOKE.
AND OF COURSE WE CAN.
- OF COURSE WE CAN. I LOVE TO TAKE A JOKE.
- YES, NOW THAT WE KNOW THAT YOU WERE JUST KIDDING AROUND,
WE ARE FINE.
WE LAUGH AT OURSELVES ALL THE TIME.
- ALL THE TIME. WE'RE LAUGHIN'.
WE'RE JOKIN' ALL THE TIME.
- I MEAN, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT HE'S KIND OF A WHINY BABY
WHO NEEDS HIS MOMMY
AND NEVER DOES ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE.
- THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.
AND YOU'RE LIKE AN UPTIGHT, CRANKY YELL MACHINE.
[both laughing]
WITH STICK-OUT-Y EARS.
- YEAH, SO YOU SEE,
WE HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.
- SO EVERYBODY'S OKAY, THEN?
both: YEAH, SURE.
- ABSOLUTELY. - ARE YOU KIDDING?
WE'RE FUN PEOPLE!
- OKAY, GOOD. - OKAY.
- OH, I'M SO RELIEVED.
- YEAH, ME TOO,
'CAUSE THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GONNA STOP WITH THE JOKES.
- WE DON'T WANT YOU TO.
- NO WAY. THAT'S WHAT FAMILIES ARE ALL ABOUT.
- GOOD NIGHT. - ALL RIGHT, GOOD NIGHT.
- THAT WAS FUN. [laughs]
- WELL, YOU KNOW, I GOT TO TELL YOU,
I REALLY MISJUDGED YOU GUYS.
YOU'RE MUCH BETTER SPORTS THAN I GAVE YOU CREDIT FOR.
AND YOUR SKIT WAS FUNNY TOO.
- THANKS, ROBERT. - THANKS, MAN.
- YOU KNOW, LIKE I ALWAYS SAY:
"LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH."
I'LL SEE YOU.
- "CRANKY, UPTIGHT YELL MACHINE"?
- HEY, WHOA! WHAT ABOUT YOU? "WHINY BABY, NEEDY MOMMY!"
- I ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!
- OH, LOOK OUT.
DON'T WANT TO TURN ON THE YELL MACHINE,
'CAUSE THERE'S NO OFF SWITCH!
- "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! MY WIFE IS BEING MEAN TO ME."
- MEH, MEH, MEH, MEH, MEH, MEH, MEH!
- OH, YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD COMEBACK.
- "THAT'S A GOOD COMEBACK."
- OH, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE. - "OH, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE."
- YOU'RE AN IDIOT. - MEH, MEH, MEH!
- 10.
11.
WAIT A MINUTE.
THERE'S A TEASPOON MISSING.
THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE 12 TEASPOONS.
THERE'S ONLY 11. MA, WHAT THE HELL?
- WHAT ARE YOU YAPPIN' ABOUT?
- THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE 12 TEASPOONS.
THIS IS AN INCOMPLETE SET!
- WHAT PARTY ARE YOU GONNA GIVE WITH 12 GUESTS?
- A BIG PARTY, 'CAUSE IT'LL BE THE READING OF YOUR WILL!
MAYBE IT GOT SCRAPED INTO THE TRASH CAN.
MAYBE IT'S IN THE TRASH.
[knocking]
THAT IS NOT FUNNY!