1 00:00:01,867 --> 00:00:04,800 [kids blowing bubbles] 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,367 - COME ON, GUYS. 3 00:00:06,367 --> 00:00:08,567 WE'RE NOT SNORKELING, WE'RE EATING, OKAY? 4 00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:10,933 STOP. STOP. STOP. NO, DON'T PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD. 5 00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:12,200 OH, GOOD. GET IN THERE. 6 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,667 ALLY NEEDS HELP WITH HER HOMEWORK. 7 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,233 HEY! HEY! GET BACK IN HERE! 8 00:00:18,233 --> 00:00:19,900 RAY, COME ON. 9 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,500 IT'S EITHER HELP ALLY OR GIVE THE TWINS THEIR BATH. 10 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,500 - ALL RIGHT. 11 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,333 COME HERE, GUYS, LET ME LOOK AT YOU. 12 00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:36,200 WHAT, DID YOU STRIKE OIL? 13 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,700 - I'LL DO ALLY. 14 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,533 HEY, POPEYE. 15 00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:44,333 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE DOIN' PRETTY GOOD HERE. 16 00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:45,800 YOU DON'T NEED MY HELP, DO YOU? 17 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,567 - YES, I DO. 18 00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:49,067 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. DON'T WORRY. 19 00:00:49,067 --> 00:00:50,267 DADDY'S HERE TO HELP YOU. 20 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:53,967 [turns TV on] 21 00:00:53,967 --> 00:00:55,967 MOMMY SAYS NO TV DURING HOMEWORK. 22 00:00:55,967 --> 00:00:57,200 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT MOMMY. 23 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,233 - TURN IT OFF, RAY. 24 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,100 [turns TV off] 25 00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,767 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE. WHAT DO YOU GOT? 26 00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:07,767 - I HAVE TO ANSWER ALL THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT ABRAHAM LINCOLN. 27 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:09,267 - OKAY. 28 00:01:09,267 --> 00:01:11,167 - I HAVE TO DO THESE THREE WORKSHEETS ON FRACTIONS. 29 00:01:11,167 --> 00:01:12,733 - ALL RIGHT. 30 00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:15,967 AND I HAVE TO MAKE A DIORAMA OF A MARINE ECOSYSTEM. 31 00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:19,333 - BATHS. I'LL DO THE BATHS. I'M GONNA DO THE BATHS. 32 00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:22,367 - TOO LATE. 33 00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:26,767 - I'M TURNIN' THE TV ON. - RAY-- 34 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,433 - I'M NOT! 35 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,167 - [singing] JUNGLE LOVE 36 00:01:34,167 --> 00:01:35,367 IT'S DRIVING ME MAD 37 00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:38,900 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY, CRAZY 38 00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:40,667 JUNGLE LOVE 39 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,067 IT'S DRIVING ME MAD 40 00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:45,467 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY, CRAZY 41 00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:46,933 JUNGLE LOVE 42 00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,433 IT'S DRIVING ME MAD 43 00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:51,800 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY, CRAZY 44 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,367 JUNGLE LOVE 45 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:55,033 IT'S DRIVING ME MAD 46 00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:59,133 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY 47 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,367 - [sighs] 48 00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:12,733 - HI. 49 00:02:19,133 --> 00:02:21,000 RAY! HEY! 50 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,133 WHAT? COME ON! 51 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,733 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 52 00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:35,467 - SORRY TO DISTURB YOU, YOUR HIGHNESS. 53 00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:37,200 BUT WHILE YOU WERE UP HERE READING 54 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:41,033 YOUR LATEST KISS-HANDSOME-BOYS BOOK 55 00:02:41,033 --> 00:02:43,600 AND RUBBING LOTION ON YOUR BUNIONS... 56 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,633 THE PEASANTS WERE DOWNSTAIRS 57 00:02:49,633 --> 00:02:54,367 TRYIN' TO BUILD AN OCEAN IN A SHOEBOX. 58 00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,100 - ARE YOU COMPLAINING? 59 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,400 - AM I COMPLAINING? 60 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,833 I JUST DID HOMEWORK FOR TWO HOURS. 61 00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:03,567 - WELL, THEN I GUESS THAT MAKES THE SCORE 3 MILLION TO TWO. 62 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:09,633 - WHAT, ARE YOU KEEPIN' TRACK NOW? 63 00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:12,800 THAT IS SO PETTY. 64 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,700 - LOOK, RAY, THEY TOLD US THAT ALLY WAS GONNA GET 65 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,367 A LOT MORE HOMEWORK IN THE 5TH GRADE. 66 00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:17,933 I'M GONNA NEED MORE HELP FROM YOU NOW. 67 00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:19,267 - [groans] ARE YOU KIDDING? 68 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,800 COME ON, I WAS DOWN THERE ALL NIGHT! 69 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,100 - WELL, THIS IS WHAT WE DO. 70 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,733 IT'S CALLED "BEING A PARENT." 71 00:03:24,733 --> 00:03:28,167 - WELL, MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED THAT. 72 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:29,600 IT'S JUST-- 73 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,200 IT'S JUST SHE HAS TOO MUCH HOMEWORK. 74 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,967 DID YOU SEE HOW MANY BOOKS SHE HAS TO CARRY? 75 00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:38,100 SHE'S GONNA BE A HUNCHBACK. 76 00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:43,700 - YOU KNOW, YOUR CONCERN FOR ALLY IS TRULY HEARTWARMING, 77 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,900 BUT THIS WHAT MISS PURCELL GIVES THEM. 78 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,467 - MISS PURCELL, YEAH. 79 00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:49,467 I KNOW THE TYPE. 80 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:52,333 "MY LIFE IS MISERABLE, CHILDREN, SO GUESS WHAT-- 81 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,567 I'M TAKIN' YOU DOWN WITH ME!" 82 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:59,200 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS WOMAN, 83 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,700 THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER. 84 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:03,233 - MAYBE I WILL. MAYBE I WILL DO EXACTLY THAT. 85 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:05,400 - GOOD. TUESDAY IS OPEN SCHOOL NIGHT. 86 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,033 - WHAT? 87 00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:10,400 - THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO GIVE MISS PURCELL 88 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,433 A PIECE OF THAT HUGE MIND YOU'VE GOT THERE. 89 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,133 - MISS PURCELL. 90 00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,267 MISS PUR-SMELL. 91 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,667 - AND YOU CAN SEE THAT THE CHILDREN 92 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,000 HAD A WONDERFUL TIME WITH OUR SCIENCE PROJECT. 93 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,933 THESE ARE THE OCEAN BOTTOM ENVIRONMENTS THEY CREATED. 94 00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,600 all: OOH. 95 00:04:35,533 --> 00:04:38,200 - LOOK, LOOK, RAY, THERE'S ALLY'S, SEE? 96 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,633 - GREAT, I BUST MY HUMP. SHE PUTS MINE IN THE BACK. 97 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,067 - YOU CAN ALL KEEP LOOKING AROUND. 98 00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:45,433 LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. 99 00:04:45,433 --> 00:04:48,767 - OKAY, RAY, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE. GO AHEAD. 100 00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:53,000 - WHAT? FOR WHAT? - TO TALK TO THE TEACHER. 101 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,967 - WHY DON'T YOU? 102 00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:57,367 - YOU KNOW, I'M CONFUSED, RAY. 103 00:04:57,367 --> 00:04:59,400 I THOUGHT YOU HAD A BIG, IMPORTANT COMPLAINT TO MAKE 104 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,667 BECAUSE YOU CARED SO MUCH ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER'S EDUCATION. 105 00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,600 - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 106 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,667 - OH, YEAH. NO. SHE LOVES WHEN I DO MY RABBIT-- 107 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,567 - I WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT OUR NEXT CLASS PROJECT 108 00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:21,333 IS GOING TO BE A LARGE 3-DIMENSIONAL MURAL. 109 00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:22,767 WE'LL ASSEMBLE IT IN EARLY DECEMBER 110 00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,433 SO THAT EACH CHILD CAN WORK ON THEIR SECTION 111 00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:27,000 OVER THE THANKSGIVING BREAK. 112 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,200 - OH, MY GOD. THANKSGIVING. 113 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,300 IT'S LIKE SHE HATES AMERICA. 114 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:42,700 - DID YOU GET STUCK MAKING THAT OCEAN CRAP TOO? 115 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,433 - YEAH. YUP. 116 00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:46,433 - THIS ONE'S MINE. 117 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,867 - THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. 118 00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:49,467 WHAT'D YOU USE FOR SHRIMP? 119 00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:50,767 - SHRIMP. 120 00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:58,467 - TOMORROW THAT'S NOT GONNA BE TOO PLEASANT. 121 00:05:58,467 --> 00:06:02,033 - A LITTLE TIME BOMB FOR MISS PURCELL. 122 00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:08,133 - HEY, DON'T YOU THINK THE KIDS JUST GET TOO MUCH HOMEWORK? 123 00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:09,833 - [scoffs] YOU ARE SO RIGHT! 124 00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:12,133 LINDA'S BEEN UP PAST 10:00 EVERY NIGHT. 125 00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:13,533 - IT'S OUT OF CONTROL. 126 00:06:13,533 --> 00:06:15,200 WE NEVER USED TO GET THIS MUCH HOMEWORK. 127 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,567 - YOU SEE, DEBRA? IT'S NOT JUST ME! 128 00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:18,867 TALK TO MY WIFE. 129 00:06:18,867 --> 00:06:20,400 - I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME. 130 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,233 BILLY'S BEEN SO SWAMPED I HAD TO CANCEL CELLO AND LATIN. 131 00:06:22,233 --> 00:06:26,067 - THAT'S TERRIBLE. THOSE ARE GOOD THINGS! 132 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:28,267 - DOES MISS PURCELL EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING TO US? 133 00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:29,867 - YOU KNOW, I THINK MAYBE 134 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,833 SOMEBODY SHOULD DEFINITELY SPEAK UP, DON'T YOU THINK? 135 00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:33,400 [all talking over each other] 136 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,500 - ...DON'T TELL ANYTHING BAD. [gulps] 137 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:43,133 - IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 138 00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:45,433 - GO AHEAD, RAY. 139 00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:46,967 - NO, NO, NO. IT'S NOTHING. 140 00:06:46,967 --> 00:06:49,400 IT'S JUST SOME OF THE PEOPLE WERE THINKING 141 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:55,833 THAT MAYBE THERE'S A LITTLE TOO MUCH HOMEWORK 142 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,900 YOU KNOW, FOR THE KIDS-- 143 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:01,367 EVERYBODY'S KIDS... 144 00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:03,500 MAYBE. 145 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,500 - WELL, IT'S WHAT THE DISTRICT THINKS IS NECESSARY 146 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,900 FOR THE CHILDREN TO KEEP PACE WITH THE CURRICULUM. 147 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:12,967 - OH, CURRICULUM. CURRICULUM. 148 00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:15,200 - YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A MEETING MONDAY 149 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,600 WITH THE CURRICULUM REVIEW BOARD, 150 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,033 AND THEY ALWAYS WELCOME INPUT FROM PARENTS. 151 00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:29,800 - OKAY, WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 152 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,000 YEAH. [shrieks] 153 00:07:35,133 --> 00:07:36,733 - YOU KNOW WHAT, 154 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:39,967 I THINK RAY WOULD BE A PERFECT SPOKESMAN FOR US. 155 00:07:39,967 --> 00:07:41,167 - HEY, I SECOND THAT! - YES! 156 00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:42,400 - NO, NO! NO, NO. 157 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,533 A SPOKESMAN--A SPOKESMAN SHOULD BE A GUY 158 00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:46,267 WHO'S NOT AFRAID OF PUBLIC SPEAKING. 159 00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:48,467 I'M--I'M WETTING MYSELF NOW. 160 00:07:57,367 --> 00:07:59,500 - I THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO HARD ON YOURSELF. 161 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,800 - WAY TOO HARD. - OH, YES. 162 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,233 - WE COULD REALLY USE YOU. 163 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,933 IF WE'RE GOING TO REDUCE THE 5TH GRADE WORKLOAD, 164 00:08:04,933 --> 00:08:07,167 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TELL THEM WHAT TO CUT. 165 00:08:07,167 --> 00:08:10,100 - YOU KEEP SAYING "WE." I'M QUITE A BUSY FELLOW. 166 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,967 - WELL, YOU HAVE ALMOST A WEEK. 167 00:08:11,967 --> 00:08:13,300 WE JUST NEED YOU TO READ THROUGH 168 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,133 THE CURRENT CURRICULUM AND FIGURE OUT 169 00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:17,600 WHERE YOU FEEL IT'S REDUNDANT. 170 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,833 I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW VALUABLE YOUR INPUT IS GOING TO BE. 171 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:24,133 - YEAH, BUT, YOU SEE, I'M NOT A TEACHER; I'M NOT-- 172 00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:25,767 - WHEN THE TEACHERS BRING THIS UP, 173 00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:27,733 THE BOARD JUST THINKS WE'RE TRYING TO GET OUT OF WORK. 174 00:08:27,733 --> 00:08:30,033 BUT THEY KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE WHEN IT COMES FROM A PARENT. 175 00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:43,200 [electronic chirping] 176 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,500 - COME ON. 177 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,500 YOU GOT A BETTER CONTROL. 178 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,600 OH--HEY! HEY! YOU BLEW ME UP! 179 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,767 WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE. I'M NOT A ZOMBIE! 180 00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:57,867 - NOBODY BELIEVES YOU, MAN. 181 00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:59,633 - THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA PLAY? - YES, IT IS. 182 00:08:59,633 --> 00:09:01,167 - ALL RIGHT, THEN, WE'RE GONNA PLAY. 183 00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:03,133 - COME ON! COME ON! 184 00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:05,167 TRY AND GET ME, YOU BIG LOAD! 185 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,867 YOU CAN'T DO IT! 186 00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:09,667 YOU CAN'T DO IT, SUCKER! 187 00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:10,767 - YOU ARE SO LUCKY. 188 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,267 - RAY, DID YOU FINISH GOING THROUGH 189 00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:13,667 ALL THIS CURRICULUM STUFF? 190 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:16,700 - YEAH. YEAH, I DID. 191 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:19,200 - THOSE BOOKS HAVEN'T MOVED SINCE YOU BROUGHT THEM HOME. 192 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,800 - I'M GONNA GET 'EM, DEBRA, 193 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,533 IT'S JUST RIGHT NOW I'M ENTERTAINING A GUEST. 194 00:09:23,533 --> 00:09:25,233 A-HA! 195 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,367 - THE REVIEW BOARD IS TOMORROW MORNING. 196 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,633 YOU HAVE WASTED THE ENTIRE WEEKEND. 197 00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:31,100 - YOU'RE RIGHT, DEBRA, I'M SORRY. 198 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,400 - HEY, COME ON. 199 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,733 - CUBBY, YOU CAN'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES 200 00:09:33,733 --> 00:09:37,433 IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YOUR HOMEWORK. 201 00:09:37,433 --> 00:09:39,733 - I'M GONNA GET TO IT. - WHEN? 202 00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:41,767 - YOU KNOW, RAYMOND, EVERY DAY AT THE END OF MY SHIFT, 203 00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:45,067 I HAVE A MOUNTAIN OF PAPERWORK, AND YOU KNOW WHEN I DO IT? 204 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:50,133 - WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT BUYING NOSE HAIR CLIPPERS? 205 00:09:57,733 --> 00:10:00,133 - I DO IT RIGHT AWAY, 206 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,767 BECAUSE THERE IS NO WORSE FEELING 207 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,500 THAN WHEN YOU'VE PUT SOMETHING OFF TO THE LAST SECOND, 208 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,833 AND IT'S GETTING DARK, 209 00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:08,300 AND THE CLOCK IS TICKING, 210 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:13,767 AND YOU REALIZE YOU'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT. 211 00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:15,033 - GO. GET OUT OF HERE. 212 00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:16,800 - [clicking tongue] 213 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,000 - GET OUT OF HERE! 214 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,200 - ALL RIGHT. VERY WELL. 215 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,567 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 216 00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,167 - BUT JUST SO YOU WON'T BE DISTRACTED, 217 00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:24,367 I'M GONNA TAKE THIS LITTLE ITEM WITH ME. 218 00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:25,767 - IT'S NOT YOURS! 219 00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:28,100 - THIS WAY, YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR WORK DONE. 220 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,767 AND BY TOMORROW MORNING, 221 00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:32,167 I SHALL BE THE GREATEST ZOMBIE HUNTER 222 00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:36,267 OF ALL TIME. 223 00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:39,200 THAT'S RIGHT. 224 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,300 [mouthing words] 225 00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:49,700 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET STARTED. 226 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,567 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GONNA TELL 'EM 227 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,600 TO CUT EVERYTHING IN HALF ' CAUSE IT'S TOO MUCH. 228 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,000 - YOU CAN'T JUST TELL 'EM TO CUT THINGS. 229 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,500 YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM REASONS. 230 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,867 YOU HAVE TO FILL OUT ALL THOSE EVALUATION FORMS. 231 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,233 - NO WAY! 232 00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:02,700 YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. 233 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,100 - LISTEN, I HAVE DONE FOUR LOADS OF LAUNDRY, 234 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,067 PAID ALL THE BILLS, PUT THREE KIDS TO BED. 235 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,600 I HAVE DONE MY JOB. YOU DO YOURS. 236 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,500 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M GONNA GO TO SLEEP. 237 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,667 GOOD NIGHT. 238 00:11:15,867 --> 00:11:19,067 - JUST SO YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE HAD SEX TONIGHT. 239 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:24,267 IT WAS GONNA BE GOOD. ALL NEW STUFF. 240 00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:34,467 [groans] 241 00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:37,967 WHAT THE HELL? 242 00:11:37,967 --> 00:11:39,467 [sighs] 243 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:47,733 - SURE, I CAN HELP YOU WITH THIS, RAYMOND. 244 00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:49,600 IT DOESN'T SEEM ALL THAT DIFFICULT. 245 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,267 - I KNOW. 246 00:11:51,267 --> 00:11:53,300 IT'S JUST I DIDN'T THINK THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH, YOU KNOW? 247 00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,767 AND IT'S ALREADY 10:30, 248 00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:57,733 AND OF COURSE, DEBRA NEVER WANTS TO HELP ME. 249 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,833 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 250 00:12:01,833 --> 00:12:04,800 THAT'S WHAT MOTHERS ARE FOR. 251 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,667 BUT MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'LL BE A LITTLE MORE RESPONSIBLE 252 00:12:08,667 --> 00:12:11,333 AND DO THINGS ON TIME 253 00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:14,433 SO I COULD BE PROUD OF YOU. 254 00:12:15,933 --> 00:12:17,367 - I'M SORRY. - OKAY. 255 00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:19,500 - WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN THERE? 256 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,700 - WHAT'S THE MATTER, FRANK? 257 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,467 - OH. 258 00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:27,500 I THOUGHT YOU WERE EATING THAT LAST PIECE OF PIE. 259 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,233 - I'M HELPING RAYMOND WITH HIS SCHOOL PROJECT. 260 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,967 - ALL RIGHT, THEN. 261 00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:35,500 I'M GONNA EAT THAT PIE SO I KNOW WHERE IT IS. 262 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,900 - HEY, DAD, LET ME GET A SLIVER OF THAT. 263 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,133 - NICE TRY. 264 00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:43,067 - RAYMOND, PAY ATTENTION. 265 00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,233 WHY DON'T WE START WITH LITERATURE 266 00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:47,967 AND READING COMPREHENSION GUIDELINES, OKAY? 267 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:51,367 "BASED ON THE READINGS OF MARK TWAIN'S 'TOM SAWYER,' 268 00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,000 "WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WOULD YOU RECOMMEND 269 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,267 "FOR 5TH GRADE HOMEWORK, AND WHY? 270 00:12:55,267 --> 00:12:58,000 "A) A BOOK REPORT, INCLUDING COVER ART... 271 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,533 - [grunts] - "AND ILLUSTRATIONS; 272 00:12:59,533 --> 00:13:04,133 "B) AN ORAL REPORT USING PERIOD MUSIC AND COSTUMES, 273 00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:06,567 "C) A CRAFT PROJECT BASED ON 274 00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,833 "THE PRE-INDUSTRIAL ERA ON THE MISSISSIPPI, 275 00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:14,933 "OR D) A FICTIONAL DIARY ON ONE OF THE CHARACTERS?" 276 00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:17,667 RAYMOND! 277 00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:24,200 - OW! 278 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,000 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 279 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,833 - I LIKE PIE. 280 00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:32,300 - RAYMOND, PAY ATTENTION. 281 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,200 I'M GONNA READ YOU THIS AGAIN. 282 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,533 - NO, NOT AGAIN, ALL RIGHT? I HEARD IT ALREADY. 283 00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,933 - [chuckles] 284 00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:41,367 - HOW ABOUT WE DON'T MAKE THE KIDS READ "TOM SAWYER"? 285 00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:45,100 - WHAT? IT'S AN AMERICAN CLASSIC. 286 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:48,100 - ALL RIGHT, THEN. I SAY "A." 287 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,567 - GOOD. WHY? 288 00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:55,133 - "B." 289 00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:57,333 - RAYMOND, DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME. 290 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:59,367 WE NEED TO DO THIS PROPERLY. 291 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:01,367 NOW, IF YOU'RE GOING TO EXPLAIN "TOM SAWYER," 292 00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:02,900 WHICH OF THESE WOULD YOU RECOMMEND 293 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:06,367 TO THE SCHOOL BOARD, AND WHY? 294 00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:09,933 - YOU NEVER READ "TOM SAWYER," DID YOU? 295 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,267 - WELL, YES, I DID. 296 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,433 - WHAT'S IT ABOUT? 297 00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:17,633 - A BOY NAMED TOM SAWYER. 298 00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:20,700 EAT YOUR PIE. 299 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,267 - RAYMOND. 300 00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:24,533 YOU NEVER READ "TOM SAWYER"? 301 00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:26,233 - WELL, ALL RIGHT, I DIDN'T. SO WHAT? 302 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:29,533 - YOU NEVER READ "TOM SAWYER"? 303 00:14:29,533 --> 00:14:35,100 - AND YOU NEVER READ "LEGENDARY RUNNING BACKS OF THE NFL." 304 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,033 - THAT'S SPORTS. 305 00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:38,533 - THAT'S RIGHT, MA, A SPORTS BOOK. 306 00:14:38,533 --> 00:14:40,567 A SPORTS BOOK! 307 00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:43,167 THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I LIKED! 308 00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,267 ALL THIS STUFF THEY MAKE YOU DO IN SCHOOL, 309 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:47,367 THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK IS IMPORTANT. 310 00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:49,467 I DID--I READ WHAT I WANTED TO, AND LOOK AT ME. 311 00:14:49,467 --> 00:14:51,633 I AM SOMEONE WHO DID NOT READ "TOM SAWYER," 312 00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:55,533 AND YET I DID NOT TURN OUT TO BE A HOBO. 313 00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:57,900 - WELL, I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED. 314 00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,900 - ME TOO! 315 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,500 ANY COOKIES? 316 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,000 - OBVIOUSLY YOU JUST DID ENOUGH WORK TO GET BY, 317 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,567 AND NOW YOU'RE PROUD OF IT. 318 00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:09,067 - WELL, YEAH! I AM PROUD OF IT! 319 00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:10,267 ALL THOSE SPORTS BOOKS I READ 320 00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:11,733 AND ALL THE SPORTS I WATCHED ON TV, 321 00:15:11,733 --> 00:15:14,100 THAT'S HOW I GOT TO BE WHERE I'M AT. 322 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:24,567 - "THAT'S HOW I GOT TO BE WHERE I'M AT"? 323 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,000 - YEAH. 324 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,333 THAT'S RIGHT. 325 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,567 - YOU'RE A WRITER, 326 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:38,133 AND THAT'S HOW YOU USE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE? 327 00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:39,800 - WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 328 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,833 - YOU DO NOT END A SENTENCE WITH "AT." 329 00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:44,367 - ALL RIGHT. BIG DEAL. 330 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,567 I ENDED IT WITH A PROPOSITION. 331 00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:48,500 - PREPOSITION. IT'S A PREP-- 332 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,933 OH, MY GOD! 333 00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,767 - WHAT? WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU GETTING SO UPSET ABOUT? 334 00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:57,400 - BECAUSE THIS IS THE END OF CIVILIZATION! 335 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,100 PEOPLE LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK OR LEARN ANYTHING, 336 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,467 BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO BUSY WITH THEIR REMOTE CONTROL TELEVISION 337 00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:06,700 OR PLAYING WITH THEIR HULA-HOOPS! 338 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:11,967 AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, THAT'S WHERE WE'RE AT! 339 00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:14,367 - WHERE ARE THE COOKIES AT? 340 00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:19,800 - ALL RIGHT, LOOK, FORGET ABOUT IT. 341 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,600 MA, I'LL DO IT. RELAX, OKAY? GIVE IT TO ME. 342 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,233 - NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT GIVING YOU THIS. 343 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,733 THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT TO GIVE TO SOMEONE 344 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:28,600 WITH YOUR KIND OF ATTITUDE ABOUT EDUCATION. 345 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,333 - SO YOU GOT WHAT I WAS SAYIN' THERE--GOOD. 346 00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:10,167 - OH, KNOCK IT OFF, RAY. 347 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,033 YOU GOT YOUR MOMMY DOING YOUR HOMEWORK FOR YOU? 348 00:17:16,033 --> 00:17:17,633 - I HAVE TO, DEBRA. 349 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:21,333 IT TURNS OUT I RAISED AN ILLITERATE. 350 00:17:23,033 --> 00:17:25,500 - CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING, RAY? 351 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,967 WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET INVOLVED IN SOMETHING, HM? 352 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:31,200 I MEAN, THE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH DIDN'T DO IT FOR YOU. 353 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,967 THE CHURCH CARNIVAL WASN'T FOR YOU. 354 00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:39,767 YOU SAID, "THE LORD DOESN'T NEED ME TO SIT IN A DUNKING BOOTH." 355 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,233 AND NOW EVEN YOUR CHILDREN'S EDUCATION ISN'T ENOUGH. 356 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:44,167 SO I WAS JUST WONDERING, 357 00:17:44,167 --> 00:17:45,867 WHEN WILL SOMETHING BE IMPORTANT ENOUGH 358 00:17:45,867 --> 00:17:48,767 FOR YOU TO TAKE A STAND? 359 00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,600 - OW! 360 00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:05,867 - I ALSO THINK WE SHOULD INTRODUCE HISTORIOGRAPHY 361 00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:07,533 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 362 00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:11,000 IT WOULD BE HIGHLY BENEFICIAL TO ALL THE 5TH AND 6TH GRADERS. 363 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,200 THANK YOU. - THANK YOU, MISS SILVER. 364 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,000 NOW, I BELIEVE WE'RE UP TO ONE OF OUR PARENTS, 365 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,867 MR. RAYMOND BARONE. 366 00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:19,533 MR. BARONE? 367 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,533 - [clears throat] HI. 368 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:22,733 [chuckles] 369 00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:24,000 THANK YOU. 370 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,767 ALL RIGHT. WOW. 371 00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:29,667 I WAS UP ALL NIGHT GOIN' OVER THE MATERIAL, 372 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,733 AND... 373 00:18:31,733 --> 00:18:33,067 WELL... 374 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:37,467 I JUST GOT A FEW THINGS TO SAY. 375 00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,167 YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID, 376 00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:42,400 I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WE HAD TOO MUCH HOMEWORK. 377 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,167 AND SINCE I HATED ALL THE HOMEWORK, 378 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,567 I STARTED TO HATE LEARNING. 379 00:18:49,567 --> 00:18:52,667 IN FACT, WHAT I LEARNED TO DO MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE 380 00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:54,533 WAS TO AVOID THE WORK. 381 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:59,667 I'M SORRY TO SAY I STILL TRY TO AVOID IT WHENEVER I CAN. 382 00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,033 JUST ASK MY WIFE. 383 00:19:01,033 --> 00:19:02,633 [chuckles] 384 00:19:07,733 --> 00:19:12,933 BUT, YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS TO ME LIKE THE KIDS TODAY, 385 00:19:12,933 --> 00:19:17,833 THEY'VE GOT TEN TIMES THE HOMEWORK THAT WE HAD. 386 00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:23,033 YOU KNOW, AND I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER TO HATE LEARNING. 387 00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:25,133 I WANT HER TO BE CURIOUS AND THOUGHTFUL 388 00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:28,033 AND GET EXCITED ABOUT NEW IDEAS. 389 00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:29,533 AND MOST OF ALL-- 390 00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:32,800 AND I THINK THIS IS WHAT WE WANT FOR ALL OUR KIDS-- 391 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,500 I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY. 392 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,033 I MEAN, I THINK THERE'S HOMEWORK 393 00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:38,633 THAT'S IMPORTANT AND EVERYTHING, 394 00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:42,400 AND THEN I THINK THERE'S OVERLOAD. 395 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,400 I MEAN, ARE WE PILING IT ON? 396 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,767 YOU KNOW, WE'RE SO WORRIED 397 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,733 ABOUT THE KIDS WON'T BE COMPETITIVE 398 00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:49,267 AND OUR KIDS WON'T HAVE A FUTURE 399 00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:55,200 THAT WE'RE TAKING AWAY THEIR PRESENT. 400 00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:00,700 ANYWAY, SO, YOU KNOW, 401 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,767 MAYBE WE CAN JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND, 402 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,300 'CAUSE ISN'T THAT THE KIND OF SCHOOL 403 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:10,467 THAT WE WANT OUR CHILDREN TO BE AT? 404 00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:12,233 I MEAN IN. 405 00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:14,367 I MEAN OF. I MEAN A PART OF. 406 00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,067 I MEAN, ISN'T THAT-- 407 00:20:16,067 --> 00:20:18,800 ISN'T THAT THE KIND OF SCHOOL THAT WE WANT OUR CHILDREN 408 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:23,367 TO BE A PART OF? 409 00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:24,667 IN. 410 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,733 - AND YOU WANTED TO CUT DOWN ON THE ENGLISH HOMEWORK. 411 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:45,800 - HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 412 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,100 - GRANDMA'S HELPING ME WITH MY HOMEWORK. 413 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,900 - OH. WANT ME TO HELP? 414 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:52,200 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT, DEAR. 415 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,733 WE'RE WORKING ON GRAMMAR RIGHT NOW. 416 00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:59,167 - ALL RIGHT, THEN, 417 00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:00,400 I'LL BE SURE AND KEEP THE TV DOWN. 418 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,333 - WAIT A MINUTE, RAYMOND. 419 00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:06,167 YOU HAVE SOME WORK TOO. 420 00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:09,033 - "TOM SAWYER." 421 00:21:09,033 --> 00:21:10,500 - YOU NEED TO READ THAT. 422 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,733 -NO, MOM, I TOLD YOU, I DON'T. 423 00:21:12,733 --> 00:21:14,167 - YES, YOU DO. 424 00:21:14,167 --> 00:21:17,667 I READ "LEGENDARY RUNNING BACKS OF THE NFL." 425 00:21:20,867 --> 00:21:22,633 - YEAH, RIGHT. 426 00:21:22,633 --> 00:21:24,300 - POOR GALE SAYERS. 427 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,900 FIRST TO LOSE A FRIEND LIKE BRIAN PICCOLO, 428 00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,433 AND THEN TO HAVE A CAREER CUT SHORT 429 00:21:28,433 --> 00:21:31,733 BECAUSE OF ALL HIS KNEE INJURIES. 430 00:21:31,733 --> 00:21:33,633 GO. 431 00:21:33,633 --> 00:21:35,133 READ. 432 00:21:39,133 --> 00:21:42,233 - YOU PROBABLY JUST READ THE ONE CHAPTER. 433 00:21:42,233 --> 00:21:44,967 - JIM BROWN AVERAGED 5.2 YARDS PER CARRY 434 00:21:44,967 --> 00:21:47,133 FOR HIS ENTIRE CAREER. 435 00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:54,033 - DAMN YOU.