1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,567 - AW, COME ON, MAKE A SHOT, YOU MORON. 2 00:00:06,567 --> 00:00:08,500 - DAD, COME ON. THE KIDS... 3 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,033 - RAY, BERNIE AND LINDA JUST PULLED IN. 4 00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:13,833 - HEY, YOU STUPID, STINKIN' HUMP! 5 00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:15,467 YOU'RE A HUMP! HUMP! 6 00:00:15,467 --> 00:00:18,433 - DAD, BERNIE AND LINDA ARE HERE FOR DINNER, 7 00:00:18,433 --> 00:00:22,900 SO IT'S TIME TO GO HOME AND YELL AT YOUR OWN TV. 8 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,367 - DINNER? WHAT ARE YOU HAVING? 9 00:00:24,367 --> 00:00:29,133 - WE'RE HAVING A BIG BOWL OF GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, OLD MAN. 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,800 - ALL RIGHT. 11 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,633 I FIND YOU VERY RUDE. 12 00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:38,533 [doorbell rings] 13 00:00:38,533 --> 00:00:41,600 - HEY! - HEY-YA, RAY, WHAT'S UP? 14 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,767 HEY, MR. B! 15 00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:45,433 - YEAH, YEAH. I'M GOIN' ALREADY. 16 00:00:46,633 --> 00:00:48,100 - HI, MARIE. 17 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,233 - WHAT'S THE MATTER, MA? 18 00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:53,033 - GUESS WHO DIED. 19 00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:54,267 - OHH... - OHH... 20 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:55,733 - OH, MARIE. WHO? 21 00:00:56,833 --> 00:01:00,333 - GUESS. 22 00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:03,933 - MA, NOBODY WANTS TO PLAY THIS GAME. 23 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,300 - CELEBRITY OR REAL PERSON? 24 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,100 - A REAL PERSON. 25 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:10,967 - MALE OR FEMALE? - FEMALE. 26 00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:14,267 - GIVE ME A SECOND HERE. I'M USUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT THIS. 27 00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:17,533 - MARIE, THIS IS SICK. WHO IS IT? 28 00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:19,600 - ROSE CAPUTO. 29 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,700 - OHH! - OHH! 30 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:23,633 - DAMN IT, MARIE, I WAS GONNA SAY HER! 31 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:26,367 - AH, THAT'S TOO BAD. 32 00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:28,433 SHE'S A VERY NICE LADY WHO LIVES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 33 00:01:28,433 --> 00:01:30,700 - SHE WAS THE OLDER LADY AT THE END OF THE BLOCK, RIGHT? 34 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:31,933 OH, SHE WAS NICE. 35 00:01:31,933 --> 00:01:33,967 - SHE MADE GOOD PIES TOO. 36 00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:36,100 I LIKE PIE. 37 00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:40,400 - SHE WAS A NICE LADY. 38 00:01:42,867 --> 00:01:45,067 - ALL RIGHT, LET'S EAT. 39 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:48,400 - SHAME ON YOU! 40 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,867 THIS LADY DIES, AND THIS IS ALL SHE GETS? 41 00:01:50,867 --> 00:01:52,967 - HEY, MARIE, YOU TWO WEREN'T THAT CLOSE. 42 00:01:52,967 --> 00:01:54,600 WHAT ARE YOU TAKING IT SO HARD FOR? 43 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,933 - BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONE, FRANK. 44 00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,733 SHE WAS THE ONE I PICKED FOR YOU. 45 00:01:58,733 --> 00:02:00,067 - WHAT? 46 00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:03,067 - I WANTED YOU TO BE WITH ROSE CAPUTO. 47 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:06,633 - KINKY NEIGHBORHOOD. 48 00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:09,800 - YEARS AGO I DECIDED TO PICK SOMEONE TO REPLACE ME 49 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,567 IF I DIED BEFORE YOU. 50 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:13,600 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? TO MARRY ME? 51 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,833 - YES. SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AFTER I WAS GONE. 52 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,367 - OH, THAT'S NICE, MARIE, 53 00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:22,500 BUT, UH, I THINK I'D BE HAPPY ENOUGH. 54 00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:34,800 - [singing] JUNGLE LOVE 55 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,833 IT'S DRIVIN' ME MAD 56 00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:40,067 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY CRAZY 57 00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:41,700 JUNGLE LOVE 58 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:42,967 IT'S DRIVING ME MAD 59 00:02:42,967 --> 00:02:46,600 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY CRAZY 60 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,800 JUNGLE LOVE 61 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,533 IT'S DRIVING ME MAD 62 00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:52,500 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY CRAZY 63 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,300 JUNGLE LOVE 64 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,900 IT'S DRIVING ME MAD 65 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,033 IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY. 66 00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:04,133 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND, MARIE. 67 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:05,733 YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT 68 00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:07,533 WHO FRANK SHOULD BE WITH AFTER YOU'RE GONE? 69 00:03:07,533 --> 00:03:09,367 - OF COURSE. HE NEEDS A WIFE. 70 00:03:09,367 --> 00:03:11,533 HE CAN'T EVEN BOIL AN EGG. 71 00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:14,633 I MEAN, IF I GO, HOW'S HE GONNA... 72 00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:16,967 BOIL AN EGG? 73 00:03:16,967 --> 00:03:18,600 - DID MRS. CAPUTO KNOW 74 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,600 YOU PICKED HER TO BE WITH FRANK? 75 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,500 - IF SHE DID, IT WOULD'VE KILLED HER SOONER. 76 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,967 - IT'S TOO BAD. SHE WAS PERFECT. 77 00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,567 OH, BY THE WAY, 78 00:03:30,567 --> 00:03:32,333 THE VIEWING HOURS ARE THE NEXT THREE NIGHTS 79 00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:34,067 AT CANNIZARO'S FUNERAL HOME. 80 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,967 - OHH... 81 00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,933 IS IT GONNA BE AN OPEN CASKET? 82 00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:40,800 - FOR ROSE CAPUTO? I HOPE NOT. 83 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,000 - HAVE SOME RESPECT, FRANK. 84 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,967 - HOW ABOUT SOME RESPECT FOR THE TRUTH? 85 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:47,233 SHE WASN'T EXACTLY A LOOKER. 86 00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:50,367 - MA, LOOK. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN, ANYWAY? 87 00:03:50,367 --> 00:03:53,133 WHAT ABOUT HER HUSBAND? ISN'T GEORGE STILL ALIVE? 88 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:57,333 - YES, BUT THE MAN IS SUPPOSED TO GO FIRST. 89 00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,467 - LOOK, I DON'T CARE WHO YOU PICKED FOR ME. 90 00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:02,933 I WOULD NEVER SHACK UP WITH ROSE CAPUTO. 91 00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:07,167 THERE'S A BIG SEA OUT THERE WITH MUCH BETTER-LOOKIN' FISH. 92 00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,467 - OH, REALLY, FRANK? 93 00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:12,000 AND WHO ARE YOU FISHING FOR? 94 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,733 - NEVER MIND. 95 00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:17,100 - WHO, FRANK? 96 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:20,067 HARRIET LICHTMANN? 97 00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:22,867 - ALL RIGHT, THEN, HARRIET LICHTMANN. 98 00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:25,733 - I WOULD NEVER PICK HARRIET LICHTMANN FOR YOU. 99 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:29,133 - WHY, BECAUSE THAT MIGHT MAKE ME HAPPY? 100 00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:31,533 - YOU DISGUST ME! 101 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:34,167 - I DON'T DISGUST HARRIET LICHTMANN. 102 00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,233 - DON'T YOU TALK TO ME ANYMORE! 103 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,867 - OHHH, HARRIET, HARRIET. 104 00:04:39,867 --> 00:04:41,467 OH! HEY! 105 00:04:41,467 --> 00:04:43,900 - GET HARRIET TO MAKE YOU DINNER! 106 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,900 - HEY, I'M ONLY KIDDING, MARIE! 107 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:48,033 MAKE ME DINNER! 108 00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,800 - AND THAT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 109 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,733 ANSWERS THE QUESTION, "WHY DO WE DRINK?" 110 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,633 - HELLO. 111 00:05:07,867 --> 00:05:10,000 - HELLO. 112 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:15,500 - SO WHO WOULD YOU PICK FOR ME IF YOU DIED FIRST? 113 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,433 - OHH. 114 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:23,033 AND YOU SAY I'M BAD AT FOREPLAY. 115 00:05:23,033 --> 00:05:25,433 - COME ON, RAY. I'M JUST CURIOUS. 116 00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,700 IF YOU DIED, WHO WOULD I GET? 117 00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:30,167 - COME ON, NOW YOU'RE THINKIN' LIKE MY MOTHER? 118 00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:33,800 - NO. BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO ADMIT, 119 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,233 IN HER OWN WEIRD WAY, 120 00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:40,433 IT WAS KIND OF A LOVING, CARETAKING THOUGHT. 121 00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:41,600 - OR... 122 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:46,167 IS IT A WAY TO CONTROL MY FATHER FROM THE GRAVE? 123 00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:48,700 - COME ON, RAY. WHO WOULD YOU PICK FOR ME? 124 00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:50,567 - NO. WHY? WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS? 125 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,633 - IT'S JUST AN INTERESTING GAME. 126 00:05:52,633 --> 00:05:54,867 IT WILL SHOW HOW WELL YOU KNOW ME, 127 00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,100 HOW MUCH YOU UNDERSTAND ME. 128 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,000 JUST PLAY. JUST PLAY. 129 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,367 WHO WOULD YOU PICK TO REPLACE YOU? 130 00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:04,100 - I CONSIDER MYSELF IRREPLACEABLE. 131 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,967 - I PICKED SOMEONE TO REPLACE ME. 132 00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:10,133 - YEAH? WHO? 133 00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:12,600 - MARGARET STEVENS. - WHO? 134 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,300 - THE KIDS' PRESCHOOL TEACHER. 135 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,433 I THINK SHE'S PERFECT FOR YOU. 136 00:06:16,433 --> 00:06:17,867 - PERFECT? 137 00:06:17,867 --> 00:06:21,233 SHE'S GOT TO BE 65 YEARS OLD! 138 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,500 SHE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY MOTHER! 139 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,600 - I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE THAT. 140 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,900 - AHH! 141 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,433 HO HO. 142 00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:33,667 YEAH. HOW ABOUT I REPLACE YOU WITH SOMEBODY NICE? 143 00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:35,200 RELAX, RELAX. 144 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,433 I WAS KIDDING ABOUT MARGARET. 145 00:06:36,433 --> 00:06:38,067 I PICKED A GOOD PERSON FOR YOU, REALLY. 146 00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:39,567 - YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 147 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,900 DON'T TELL ME, OKAY? I'VE HAD ENOUGH FUN. 148 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,367 - LINDA. 149 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:46,133 - LINDA? 150 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,567 HMM. 151 00:06:54,533 --> 00:06:55,667 LINDA. 152 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,833 - SEE? DIDN'T I MAKE A GOOD CHOICE? 153 00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,267 AREN'T I THOUGHTFUL? 154 00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:02,067 - YES. YES, YOU ARE. 155 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,967 - YEAH. 156 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:07,633 SHE'S THE SAME AGE AS ME. SHE'S SMART, SHE'S FUNNY. 157 00:07:07,633 --> 00:07:09,867 GOOD VALUES-- - EXCELLENT VALUES. 158 00:07:09,867 --> 00:07:13,333 - YEAH, I JUST... 159 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,867 YOU KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT THAT SHE-- 160 00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:18,833 WHAT ARE YOU GRINNING ABOUT? 161 00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:20,500 - WHAT? 162 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:21,933 - WHAT'S WITH THE BIG SMILE? 163 00:07:21,933 --> 00:07:24,100 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? 164 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:26,233 - WHAT? I'M... 165 00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:28,733 I--I GUESS I'M THINKING ABOUT THE KIDS 166 00:07:28,733 --> 00:07:33,700 AND HOW HAPPY THEY'LL BE WITH LINDA. 167 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,067 - YOU'RE PICTURING HER NAKED, AREN'T YOU? 168 00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,867 - NO, NO, NO! 169 00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:41,633 NO. 170 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:48,300 - I KNOW SHE HAS A GOOD BODY. 171 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:51,500 - SHE DOES? I NEVER NOTICED. 172 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:54,200 - OH, YOU ARE SO, SO FULL OF IT! 173 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,867 I'M NOT EVEN DEAD YET. 174 00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:58,333 YOU'RE ALREADY FANTASIZING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH LINDA. 175 00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,600 - I AM NOT! COME ON, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? 176 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,533 - 'CAUSE I KNOW THAT DORKY FACE. YOU'RE SO TYPICAL! 177 00:08:04,533 --> 00:08:07,700 ALL YOU CARE ABOUT ARE BOOBS AND BUTTS. 178 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:11,500 - I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT BUTTS! 179 00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:14,433 - LOOK AT YOU. 180 00:08:14,433 --> 00:08:15,633 YOU KNOW, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO 181 00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:17,300 TO THE MOVIES WITH THEM TOMORROW NIGHT. 182 00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,433 IS THAT THE FACE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE? 183 00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,033 - I'M NOT GONNA MAKE THAT FACE. 184 00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:25,667 I'M GONNA MAKE THIS FACE. 185 00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:29,633 - UGH! 186 00:08:29,633 --> 00:08:31,733 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING ABOUT LINDA LIKE THIS? 187 00:08:31,733 --> 00:08:34,133 - I HAVEN'T BEEN THINKING ABOUT HER! 188 00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:36,733 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT HER UP! 189 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:39,600 COME ON! LEAVE ME ALONE! 190 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,433 - ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. 191 00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:48,167 I GUESS I'M BEING A LITTLE SILLY. 192 00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:52,033 - ALL RIGHT, IT'S OKAY. 193 00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:53,933 - SO WHO WOULD YOU PICK FOR ME? 194 00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,600 - OHH. 195 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,267 ARE YOU EVEN GONNA NEED SOMEBODY? 196 00:08:57,267 --> 00:09:00,367 I MEAN, COULDN'T YOU JUST GET A CAT? 197 00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:08,800 - LOOK, I MADE A THOUGHTFUL, UNSELFISH PICK FOR YOU. 198 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,633 NOW YOU HAVE TO PICK FOR ME. 199 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,667 - ALL RIGHT. 200 00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:14,567 UHHH... OKAY, WELL, HOW 'BOUT, 201 00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:18,600 IF I GET LINDA, THEN YOU GET BERNIE? 202 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,067 - BERNIE? 203 00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:22,933 - YEAH. WHAT? IT'S PERFECT. 204 00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:25,667 - BERNIE? 205 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:28,900 - WAIT A MINUTE. I KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. 206 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,033 - WHAT? 207 00:09:30,033 --> 00:09:32,100 - HE'S FAT. 208 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:34,600 - THAT IS NOT THE REASON. - YES, IT IS. 209 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,933 THERE'S NO REASON YOU SHOULDN'T BE ATTRACTED TO BERNIE 210 00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:39,800 EXCEPT FOR ALL THE EXTRA BERNIE. 211 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,933 - I DON'T EVEN THINK HE'S THAT FAT. 212 00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,200 - OH, YES, HE IS. 213 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,400 HE KNOWS IT. 214 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,100 WE MAKE FUN OF HIM ALL THE TIME. 215 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:49,900 WE CALL HIM "BLIMPY," "HINDENBERNIE"... 216 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,700 "FAT BOY." 217 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:54,700 HE DOESN'T CARE. HE'S OUR FRIEND, 218 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:57,233 OUR FATTY-FAT FRIEND. 219 00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:58,600 - IS THAT WHY YOU PICKED HIM FOR ME, 220 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,400 SO I WOULDN'T BE ATTRACTED TO HIM? 221 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,400 - YOU SEE? YOU ADMIT IT. YOU ARE SHALLOW. 222 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,433 - YOU'RE SHALLOW! I MENTION LINDA'S NAME. 223 00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:09,533 TWO SECONDS LATER, YOU'RE HAVING SEX WITH HER. 224 00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:11,467 - YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE UP THE STUPID GAME! 225 00:10:11,467 --> 00:10:13,267 - IT'S NOT A STUPID GAME! - IT IS A STUPID GAME! 226 00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:14,833 - OH, YOU'RE STUPID! - YOU'RE STUPID! 227 00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:16,767 - STUPID! - STUPID STUPID! 228 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,800 I'LL SHOW YOU. I'LL DIE FIRST! 229 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,567 - DEAL. 230 00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:32,600 kids: BYE, MOM! 231 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,733 - HAVE A GOOD DAY. LOVE YOU. 232 00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,967 - COME ON. 233 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,433 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 234 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,967 OH, WHAT, YOU GOT TO GLUE IT ON TIGHT, 235 00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:12,833 HUH, MILK PEOPLE, HUH? 236 00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:15,067 "OH, LOOK AT ME. 237 00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,233 "I WORK FOR THE MILK COMPANY. 238 00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:19,533 I GLUE THINGS ON TIGHT." 239 00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:21,100 YEAH. 240 00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:34,600 - HERE. 241 00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:38,600 - THANKS. SORRY. 242 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:42,200 - HERE. HERE. LET ME. 243 00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:49,133 - THANK YOU. 244 00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:55,900 HOW ABOUT ROBERT? 245 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:57,033 - WHAT? 246 00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:58,967 - WELL... 247 00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:00,967 I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT, AND IF I DIED, 248 00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:03,400 I PICK ROBERT TO REPLACE ME. 249 00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:09,967 WHAT'S THE MATTER? TOO TALL? 250 00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:11,367 - NO! 251 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,700 HE'S YOUR BROTHER, 252 00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,667 AND HE'S MARRYING MY BEST FRIEND. 253 00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:18,967 - WELL, YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT WHEN I SAID BERNIE, 254 00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:21,533 SO I GAVE IT SOME REAL THOUGHT, 255 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:25,567 AND KNOWING YOU AS A PERSON OR WHATEVER, 256 00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:27,667 I-I... 257 00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:31,600 YOU KNOW, I THINK I CAME UP WITH A GOOD CHOICE, ROBERT. NO? 258 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,567 - NO. IT'S--I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT. 259 00:12:34,567 --> 00:12:35,733 IT'S TOO CREEPY. 260 00:12:35,733 --> 00:12:36,833 - IT'S NOT CREEPY. 261 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:38,467 HERE'S HOW IT WOULD HAPPEN. 262 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,400 THE FOUR OF US ARE IN ROBERT'S CAR. 263 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,433 WE GET IN AN ACCIDENT, AND AMY AND I DIE. 264 00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:44,900 - THAT'S NOT CREEPY? 265 00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:47,133 - NO. THE BEAUTY OF IT IS, 266 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,533 THE WAY I FIGURE IT, 267 00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:50,867 ROBERT FEELS SO GUILTY ABOUT HIS DRIVING, 268 00:12:50,867 --> 00:12:54,067 HE'S RENDERED IMPOTENT. 269 00:12:58,567 --> 00:13:02,833 YEAH. OTHERWISE, IT WOULD BE WEIRD. 270 00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:05,333 - LOOK, I'M SORRY I BROUGHT THE WHOLE THING UP. 271 00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:07,267 I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT YOU ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT, 272 00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:09,100 AND I OVERREACTED ABOUT YOU WITH LINDA, 273 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,733 'CAUSE SHE'S A GREAT PERSON, 274 00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:13,667 AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD BE HAPPY WITH HER. 275 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,833 - YEAH, I MEAN, THAT'S ALL THAT WAS. 276 00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:17,200 - YEAH. I KNOW. 277 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,933 - ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT. 278 00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:21,033 OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. LINDA CALLED THIS MORNING. 279 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,600 SHE HAD TO CANCEL OUR DATE TONIGHT. 280 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,600 BERNIE WAS UP ALL NIGHT WITH A TERRIBLE STOMACH FLU. 281 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,667 HE SLEPT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. 282 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,400 - STOMACH FLU? 283 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,100 THAT'S A LOT OF FLU WITH THAT STOMACH. 284 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,900 ALL RIGHT. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 285 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,333 MAYBE TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT 286 00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,800 WE SHOULD GO TO MRS. CAPUTO'S VIEWING-- 287 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,400 YOU KNOW, JUST GET IT OUT OF THE WAY. 288 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,167 - OKAY, THAT'D BE GREAT. 289 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,667 - ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU. 290 00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:48,933 - OKAY. 291 00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:50,233 - SO WE'RE GOOD NOW, RIGHT? 292 00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:52,067 - YEAH, WE'RE GOOD. HAVE A GOOD DAY. 293 00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:53,433 - ALL RIGHT. 294 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,867 - [clears throat] 295 00:14:03,867 --> 00:14:05,900 LINDA. IT'S DEB. 296 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,900 HI. YEAH, WE DID TOO. 297 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:10,467 BUT, LISTEN, I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL TONIGHT. 298 00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:15,533 WELL, RAY WAS UP ALL NIGHT WITH THIS TERRIBLE STOMACH FLU. 299 00:14:15,533 --> 00:14:18,400 HE SLEPT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. 300 00:14:21,633 --> 00:14:26,400 - WE'RE SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, MR. CAPUTO. 301 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:30,067 - MRS. CAPUTO WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. 302 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,200 WHEN WE WERE KIDS, 303 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,433 SHE WOULD ALWAYS CALL US OVER 304 00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:34,600 FOR HER HOME-BAKED APPLE PIE. 305 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,233 AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS CUT ME A SLICE 306 00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:39,067 JUST A LITTLE BIT BIGGER THAN RAYMOND'S. 307 00:14:40,867 --> 00:14:43,400 SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL PERSON. 308 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:46,800 - COME ON, FRANK. 309 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,067 - LOOK AT HER. 310 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:49,533 THAT'S WHO YOU PICKED FOR ME? 311 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,433 - SIT DOWN HERE. 312 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:55,733 - IS THAT PICTURE BEFORE OR AFTER? 313 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,200 - WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, MR. CAPUTO, 314 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,733 CONSIDERING THE CIRCUMSTANCES. 315 00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:05,833 - THANK YOU, ROBERT. NICE TO MEET YOU, AMY. 316 00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:09,133 - YOU TOO. 317 00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:10,600 - ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. 318 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,333 - NO, I'LL TELL YOU WHEN IT'S ENOUGH. 319 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,967 - OH, HELLO, ROBERT. 320 00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:21,233 - AH, MRS. LICHTMANN. 321 00:15:31,867 --> 00:15:33,233 - THERE SHE IS, MARIE. 322 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:36,100 AH, HARRIET. 323 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,500 - UNBELIEVABLE. 324 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,100 LOOK WHAT SHE'S WEARING TO A FUNERAL HOME. 325 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:43,033 STOP LOOKING. 326 00:15:43,033 --> 00:15:44,633 - AND I'LL NEVER FORGET HOW MRS. CAPUTO 327 00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:47,700 USED TO CUT ME AND ROBERT SLICES OF HER HOMEMADE APPLE PIE. 328 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,167 BUT SHE ALWAYS USED TO TAKE ME ASIDE 329 00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:52,600 AND SLIP ME AN EXTRA SLICE TO TAKE HOME. 330 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,533 - WHAT? 331 00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:01,467 - GEORGE. 332 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,000 OH, GEORGE, I AM SORRY. 333 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,500 I AM SO SORRY. 334 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,133 - THANK YOU FOR COMING, MARIE. 335 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,600 - HOW OLD WAS SHE? - 82. 336 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:16,033 - 82? SO YOUNG. SO YOUNG. 337 00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,567 - I KNOW, MARIE. 338 00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:20,333 AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. 339 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,667 YOU TWO SHOULD ENJOY 340 00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:26,567 EVERY MOMENT YOU HAVE WITH EACH OTHER. 341 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:40,467 - THAT SHUT 'EM UP. 342 00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:45,100 - HEY, HI. HI. 343 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:46,400 - [giggles] 344 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,533 WE CAME ON THE SAME NIGHT. HOW ABOUT THAT? 345 00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:51,867 - HEY. 346 00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:54,667 OH, RAY. I'M SORRY--LIPSTICK. 347 00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:57,567 [giggles] 348 00:16:57,567 --> 00:16:59,033 - [sarcastically] ARE YOU OKAY? 349 00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:00,433 - TICKLES. 350 00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:02,767 - HOW ARE YOU FEELING, RAY? 351 00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:04,433 - WHAT? OH, I'M OKAY. 352 00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:06,800 YOU KNOW, I HADN'T SEEN HER IN A LONG TIME. 353 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,933 - OH, NO, I MEANT-- 354 00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:10,100 - OH, MRS. CAPUTO. 355 00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,000 SUCH A SHAME, RIGHT? 356 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,433 SUCH A NICE LADY. RIGHT, BERNIE? 357 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:15,800 - YEAH, I'LL MISS HER. 358 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,533 I'LL MISS HER PIES. 359 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,600 - HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU LOOK GOOD, THOUGH. 360 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,267 YOU MUST'VE GOT OVER IT PRETTY QUICK. 361 00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:24,700 - SHE WAS SUCH A SWEET LADY, 362 00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,867 SUCH A WONDERFUL LADY, AND NOW-- 363 00:17:27,867 --> 00:17:31,300 PHTTT! 364 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,600 YOU TWO SHOULD PAY YOUR RESPECTS. 365 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,267 GEORGE IS RIGHT OVER THERE. 366 00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:36,267 - CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING, GEORGE? 367 00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:39,933 MY BOYS LOVED ROSE'S APPLE PIE SO MUCH, 368 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:41,300 I USED TO TELL HER 369 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,300 IT'S OKAY TO GIVE RAYMOND AN EXTRA PIECE. 370 00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:50,900 - HELLO, GEORGE. 371 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,600 - HARRIET. 372 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,000 - WELL, HELLO, HARRIET. 373 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,500 - OH, HELLO, FRANK. 374 00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:03,300 - OH. GEORGE IS FREE NOW. 375 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,867 - HEY, BERNIE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SICK. 376 00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:07,933 - ME? I'M HEALTHY AS A HORSE. 377 00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:08,933 YOU'RE THE SICK ONE. 378 00:18:08,933 --> 00:18:10,433 - I'M NOT SICK. 379 00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:13,600 - YOU SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. 380 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,867 - I THOUGHT YOU SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT 381 00:18:15,867 --> 00:18:17,000 ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. 382 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,167 - WHO TOLD YOU THAT? 383 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:28,167 - HEY, A WONDERFUL LADY IS IN A BOX OVER THERE. 384 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,767 - SO YOU TELL PEOPLE I SLEEP ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR? 385 00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:36,167 IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SEE US, YOU COULD'VE JUST SAID SO. 386 00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:37,767 - DID WE DO SOMETHING TO OFFEND YOU? 387 00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:40,067 - NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. 388 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,200 - THEN WHY? 389 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,300 - I THINK I CAN EXPLAIN IT. 390 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:43,733 - I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T, RAY. 391 00:18:43,733 --> 00:18:45,033 - DEBRA'S JEALOUS. 392 00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:46,967 - JEALOUS OF WHAT? - OF LINDA. 393 00:18:46,967 --> 00:18:50,133 - RAY. - AND ME. 394 00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:51,733 - WHAT? - NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. 395 00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:53,233 - REMEMBER THE OTHER NIGHT 396 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,933 WHEN MY PARENTS WERE TALKING ABOUT FUTURE SPOUSES? 397 00:18:55,933 --> 00:18:57,133 WELL, DEBRA AND I GOT INTO IT, 398 00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:59,133 AND SHE PICKED LINDA FOR ME, 399 00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:00,133 AND I SAID "FINE." 400 00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:01,833 SHE COULDN'T TAKE IT. 401 00:19:01,833 --> 00:19:05,567 - BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T WIPE THAT STUPID LOOK OFF HIS FACE. 402 00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:09,033 - YOU WERE PICTURING HER NAKED, WEREN'T YOU? 403 00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:10,333 - BERNIE! 404 00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,800 - NO, COME ON. THAT'S ALL GUYS DO. 405 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,667 THEY SEE A WOMAN, THEY PICTURE HER NAKED. 406 00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:16,767 - OH, YEAH? YOU PICTURE DEBRA NAKED? 407 00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:18,500 - HUH? 408 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,667 NO! NO MORE THAN YOU'D PICTURE RAY NAKED. 409 00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:23,467 - EWW! 410 00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,800 - "EWW?" 411 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,100 - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 412 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,933 I WOULD NEVER PICTURE BERNIE NAKED. 413 00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:31,367 - IT'S BECAUSE I'M HEAVY, ISN'T IT? 414 00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:32,633 I KNOW I HAVE TROUBLE WITH WEIGHT. 415 00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:34,267 I HAPPEN TO HAVE A GLANDULAR PROBLEM. 416 00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:36,667 - I PICKED YOU FOR HER, BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT YOU. 417 00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:39,000 - RAY, WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT? 418 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,467 - HEY, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE NOISE? 419 00:19:40,467 --> 00:19:42,267 - JUST NEVER MIND, OKAY? MIND YOUR BUSINESS. 420 00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,733 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING HERE. 421 00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:48,167 - HI, EVERYBODY. ISN'T THIS LOVELY? 422 00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:50,633 - DEBRA DECIDED THAT IF SHE DIES, 423 00:19:50,633 --> 00:19:51,667 RAY SHOULD BE WITH ME. 424 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,267 - YEAH, AND RAY PICKED ME FOR DEBRA, 425 00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,567 BUT APPARENTLY, I'M TOO FAT! 426 00:19:58,433 --> 00:20:01,300 - THAT'S NOT TRUE, BERNIE! 427 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,867 - DID DEBRA EVEN CONSIDER ME? 428 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:05,267 - HEY, I'M RIGHT HERE! 429 00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:06,667 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, AMY. 430 00:20:06,667 --> 00:20:08,400 ROBERT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER EITHER. 431 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,000 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH ROBERT? 432 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,433 - EXCUSE ME; YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LOWER YOUR VOICES. 433 00:20:13,433 --> 00:20:14,833 - I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN. 434 00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,267 YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND. 435 00:20:16,267 --> 00:20:17,733 - MARIE, WE WERE JUST TALKING. 436 00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:19,167 - NO, YOU WEREN'T JUST TALKING. 437 00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:22,067 YOU WERE PICTURING HER NAKED. 438 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,167 - GET OUTTA MY HEAD, WOMAN! 439 00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:26,767 - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, FRANK. 440 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,300 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR DREAMS ARE, 441 00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:29,600 YOU ARE NEVER GONNA FIND YOURSELF 442 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,033 IN THE ARMS OF HARRIET LICHTMANN! 443 00:20:32,033 --> 00:20:33,700 - AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MARIE! 444 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,433 I DON'T CARE HOW MANY PLANS YOU MAKE, 445 00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:38,700 I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD WITH ROSE CAPUTO! 446 00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,900 - THANKS. 447 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,100 WE HAD A GOOD TIME. 448 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:21,633 - SO WHO WOULD YOU PICK FOR ME? 449 00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:23,933 - ROBERT, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. 450 00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:26,167 - COME ON. JUST FOR FUN. 451 00:21:26,167 --> 00:21:27,700 - WE'RE NOT EVEN MARRIED YET, 452 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,567 AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO CAN REPLACE ME? 453 00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:31,800 - I PICKED SOMEBODY TO REPLACE ME. 454 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,333 - OH, YEAH? WHO? 455 00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:37,600 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT... RAYMOND? 456 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,633 - RAY? 457 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:41,433 - THAT'S MY GIRL!