1 00:00:14,633 --> 00:00:17,467 - STUPID WEDDINGS. 2 00:00:17,467 --> 00:00:19,833 - HERE THEY ARE! AREN'T THEY BEAU-- 3 00:00:19,833 --> 00:00:21,000 RAY! 4 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,800 I LEFT YOU UP HERE AN HOUR AGO. 5 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,067 I SHOWERED, DID MY HAIR, 6 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,667 GOT THE KIDS UP, GOT THEM DRESSED. 7 00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,333 KIDS, GO DOWNSTAIRS. MOMMY'S YELLING. 8 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:30,767 AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO YOURSELF? 9 00:00:30,767 --> 00:00:33,033 - WHAT? I'M READY. 10 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,333 - EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR YOU. 11 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:35,733 OH, LOOK AT THIS. 12 00:00:35,733 --> 00:00:39,067 LOOK, THIS GOES ON AFTER THE PANTS, EINSTEIN. 13 00:00:39,067 --> 00:00:40,267 HERE, GET-- 14 00:00:40,267 --> 00:00:44,333 DO YOU REALIZE THAT IT IS A-- 15 00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:47,733 IT'S A THREE-HOUR DRIVE TO PENNSYLVANIA. 16 00:00:47,733 --> 00:00:49,300 AMY IS WAITING FOR ME. 17 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,233 ROBERT IS A NERVOUS WRECK. I MEAN, COME ON. 18 00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:54,500 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! 19 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:58,967 YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE TOO ANGRY TO DO THE ZIPPER. 20 00:00:58,967 --> 00:01:00,700 - WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? 21 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:01,967 - I GOT THE SPEECH-- 22 00:01:01,967 --> 00:01:03,533 THE FRICKING TOAST THING I GOT TO DO. 23 00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:05,800 - WOULD YOU STOP OBSESSING ABOUT THE TOAST? 24 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,867 JUST SAY SOMETHING FUNNY AND HEARTFELT. 25 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:11,233 NOBODY CARES. 26 00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:12,233 - WHERE IS HE? 27 00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:15,167 - HE'S STILL IN THERE. 28 00:01:15,167 --> 00:01:17,800 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 29 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:18,933 - WHAT? I'M COMING. 30 00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:20,467 - WOULD YOU HURRY? 31 00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:22,367 MA'S ALREADY YELLING AT DAD, BECAUSE HE DRIPPED 32 00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:25,200 EGG AND CHEESE SANDWICH ON HIS TUX. 33 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,500 JUST GET IN THE VAN! 34 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,367 THIS IS THE BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 35 00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:32,467 - THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID AT YOUR LAST WEDDING. 36 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,700 - WHAT'S THAT, A SMART REMARK? 37 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,033 - NO. - HUH? 38 00:01:37,033 --> 00:01:39,900 YOU'RE BRINGING UP MY FIRST MARRIAGE TODAY, HUH? 39 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,200 YOU TRYING TO JINX ME, RAYMOND? 40 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,633 - NO. NO. 41 00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:44,367 - DON'T MESS WITH ME TODAY, RAYMOND, OKAY? 42 00:01:44,367 --> 00:01:48,500 - I'M JUST-- - DO NOT MESS WITH ME TODAY! 43 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:52,300 THIS IS MY WEDDING DAY, AND I'M IN NO MOOD FOR FUN! 44 00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:58,300 - THEN YOU'RE GONNA LOVE MARRIAGE. 45 00:02:07,133 --> 00:02:10,267 - [breathing heavily] 46 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,667 [knock on door] 47 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:18,267 - ROBBIE? 48 00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:20,667 - MA, THIS IS THE MEN'S ROOM. 49 00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,633 - RAYMOND TOLD ME YOU WERE IN HERE. 50 00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:23,933 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 51 00:02:23,933 --> 00:02:25,433 - NOTHING, MA. 52 00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,733 I JUST WANTED A LITTLE ALONE TIME BEFORE THE CEREMONY. 53 00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:28,733 - OH, OKAY. 54 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:31,833 I'LL STAY WITH YOU. 55 00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:35,467 CAN WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE? 56 00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:37,933 - NO, MA, I WANT TO STAY IN HERE. 57 00:02:37,933 --> 00:02:39,500 REMEMBER LAST TIME I GOT MARRIED, 58 00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,000 I SAW JOANNE BEFORE THE WEDDING? 59 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,167 I THINK THAT PUT THE WHAMMY ON THE WHOLE MARRIAGE. 60 00:02:43,167 --> 00:02:44,900 - OH, HONEY. 61 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:48,367 THE PROBLEM THERE WAS, YOU SAW HER AFTER THE WEDDING. 62 00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:51,900 - ALL RIGHT, OUT, MOM. 63 00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:53,833 - NO, BUT-- - NO, COME ON. 64 00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:56,367 YOU ALREADY GOT GIANNI LOOKING FOR A FIRE HYDRANT. 65 00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:57,633 COME ON. 66 00:02:57,633 --> 00:02:59,633 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, YOU WANT TO HELP? 67 00:02:59,633 --> 00:03:01,367 SEE IF YOU CAN FIND THE REVEREND GUY, OKAY? 68 00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,000 HE'LL BE THE ONE WITH THE BIG BOOK. 69 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,633 - YEAH, BUT I NEED TO TALK TO-- - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 70 00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:08,100 - WHOA, THANKS, MAN. 71 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,567 - YEAH, ALWAYS HAPPY TO DO THAT. 72 00:03:10,567 --> 00:03:11,567 SO HOW YOU DOING? 73 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:14,567 YOU FAST, YOU LOOSE, YOU THROWING UP? 74 00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:15,933 - I'M FINE. 75 00:03:15,933 --> 00:03:19,000 YOU KNOW, JUST WANTED A LITTLE ALONE TIME, THAT'S ALL. 76 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,267 - YEAH. LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 77 00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:25,633 NOW THAT YOU AND AMY ARE GETTING MARRIED, 78 00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:29,167 WHAT'S THE ONE "SPECIAL THING" 79 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,433 THAT YOU TWO HAVE 80 00:03:31,433 --> 00:03:34,767 THAT A GROUP OF PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO HEAR ABOUT? 81 00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:39,933 - YOU'VE GOT NOTHING FOR THE TOAST. 82 00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:42,600 - I GOT PLENTY. 83 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,567 WHAT DO YOU GOT? 84 00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:49,467 - OH! 85 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:51,533 GREAT. YOU'RE BOTH HERE. 86 00:03:51,533 --> 00:03:52,333 - YEAH. 87 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,500 - HOW'S IT GOING? 88 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,633 - FINE, PETER. 89 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:57,633 WHAT IS IT? 90 00:03:57,633 --> 00:03:59,033 - WELL, NOTHING. 91 00:03:59,033 --> 00:04:02,267 I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU TWO BEFORE BLASTOFF AND EVERYTHING. 92 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,967 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE TUX? 93 00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:07,367 I RENTED IT. [clears throat] 94 00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:10,833 - YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD FIT. - THANK YOU. 95 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,667 GUYS, LOOK, THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR ME. 96 00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,833 UM, I'VE HAD SOME ISSUES 97 00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:17,400 WITH THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE AGENDA, 98 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,167 BUT I'VE HAD SOME TIME TO REFLECT, 99 00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:26,033 AND I REALIZE THAT I MAY HAVE BEEN A WIENER. 100 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,733 - NO, THAT'S OKAY, PETER. 101 00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:28,733 - NO, IT'S NOT OKAY. 102 00:04:28,733 --> 00:04:30,200 WE'RE GONNA BE FAMILY, 103 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,033 AND I JUST--I WANT TO BE ABLE TO CALL YOU GUYS-- 104 00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:36,800 BOTH OF YOU, 105 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,933 BROTHER-MAN. 106 00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:40,933 - ALL RIGHT. 107 00:04:40,933 --> 00:04:42,167 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 108 00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:43,633 - [sobbing] WELCOME TO OUR LIVES. 109 00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:45,400 - OKAY. [chuckles] 110 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,667 - IT'S ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. 111 00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,500 THANK YOU, PETER. - WELL, THANK YOU. 112 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,933 AND NOW I SHALL TAKE MY LEAVE. 113 00:04:51,933 --> 00:04:54,133 HAVE A GREAT DAY. 114 00:04:57,367 --> 00:05:02,733 - THAT PSYCHO'S GONNA PULL SOME CRAP. 115 00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:03,733 RIGHT? - YUP. 116 00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:04,900 - NOW, LISTEN. 117 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,200 YOU GOT TO STICK WITH HIM, RAYMOND. 118 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,433 GO. GO NOW. YOU GOT TO FOLLOW HIM. 119 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:08,733 - I DON'T WANT TO BE-- 120 00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:10,267 - NO, NO, LISTEN, LISTEN, JUST DO IT. 121 00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:11,767 HE'S GONNA WRECK THE WEDDING. 122 00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:15,500 THAT GUY HAS SQUIRRELS JUGGLING KNIVES IN HIS HEAD. 123 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,200 - NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 124 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,133 BEFORE I GO, ONE THING FUNNY AND THEN HEARTFELT. 125 00:05:19,133 --> 00:05:22,567 - GO! 126 00:05:22,567 --> 00:05:23,767 - LOOK OUT. 127 00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:25,700 I GOT EGG AND CHEESE SANDWICH ON MY CROTCH. 128 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,833 - OH, GREAT. GREAT! 129 00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:30,200 - WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 130 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,667 - NOTHING. NOTHING, DAD. 131 00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,700 HOW ARE YOU TODAY? 132 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,867 - NONE TOO HAPPY. 133 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:38,500 I JUST FOUND OUT IT'S GONNA BE A CASH BAR. 134 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:42,267 AND THE SCUTTLEBUTT IS, THE FOOD WILL BE SKIMPY. 135 00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:43,833 - YEAH, AND OF COURSE, THE ONLY REASON 136 00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:44,933 WHY YOU'RE HERE TODAY 137 00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:46,900 IS SO YOU CAN STUFF YOUR FACE. 138 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,433 - I ENJOY LIFE. 139 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:54,900 SO ANYWAY, NO OFFENSE, BUT THE PARTY'S GONNA BLOW. 140 00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,733 - WELL, I THINK IT'S NICE THAT THE MACDOUGALLS 141 00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:59,633 HAVE OFFERED TO HELP ME AND AMY PAY FOR THE WEDDING AT ALL. 142 00:05:59,633 --> 00:06:01,267 - YOU SAYING I SHOULD'VE CHIPPED IN? 143 00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:02,600 - NO. [stammers] 144 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,200 - I CHIPPED IN YOUR LAST WEDDING 145 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,000 AND RAY'S WEDDING. 146 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,467 AND BY THE WAY, 147 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,867 THE BROAD'S FAMILY IS SUPPOSED TO PAY, 148 00:06:10,867 --> 00:06:14,267 AND IT IS TO BE A FULL BAR 149 00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:16,233 FREE OF CHARGE 150 00:06:16,233 --> 00:06:19,100 WITH TOP-SHELF HOOCH. 151 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:21,400 READ YOUR BIBLE. 152 00:06:25,033 --> 00:06:27,433 - MUST'VE MISSED THAT PASSAGE. 153 00:06:27,433 --> 00:06:30,567 - YOU GOT SOME NERVE COMPLAINING I HAVEN'T GIVEN ENOUGH. 154 00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:32,767 NEED I REMIND YOU OF 40 YEARS OF ROOM 155 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:37,100 AND ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF BOARD? 156 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:40,267 - LOOK, DAD, DAD, I'M SORRY, OKAY? 157 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,500 I'M JUST A LITTLE, YOU KNOW-- 158 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,000 I WANT IT TO GO WELL TODAY, 159 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,600 SO I APOLOGIZE. 160 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,867 I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING, 161 00:06:45,867 --> 00:06:50,500 AND YOU'RE A SENSATIONAL FATHER. 162 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:54,633 - WELL, YOU KNOW, I APOLOGIZE TOO. 163 00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:56,333 I GUESS EVERYONE'S KIND OF ON EDGE TODAY, 164 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,700 BUT YOU'LL BE OKAY. 165 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,733 YOU'RE USED TO THIS TYPE OF THING, 166 00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:03,533 BEING A COP, SEEING MURDERS, AND WHATNOT. 167 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,133 - THANKS. 168 00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:15,567 I FEEL BETTER. 169 00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:16,767 - GOOD. 170 00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:19,100 LET'S HOPE YOU PICKED A WINNER THIS TIME. 171 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:47,233 [indistinct chatter] 172 00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:49,467 - HEY. 173 00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:51,567 - HEY, RAY. all: HI, RAY. 174 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:53,400 - HI. HI. 175 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,200 SO HOW'S MY GROOM? 176 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,600 - HE'S, YOU KNOW, STOKED. 177 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,500 - AW. 178 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,667 - SO HOW'S IT GOING IN HERE? 179 00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:07,733 - GOING GREAT. 180 00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:09,767 DOESN'T AMY LOOK BEAUTIFUL? - YEAH. 181 00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,433 I DON'T KNOW WHEN I HAVE BEEN SO EXCITED. 182 00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:14,367 IT'S SO ROMANTIC. EVERYBODY'S CRYING. 183 00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:17,367 - THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. - YEAH. 184 00:08:17,367 --> 00:08:20,433 YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME. 185 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,900 OH, I AM JUST GONNA DANCE WITH YOU ALL DAY. 186 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,333 - YEAH? 187 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:28,000 SOMEBODY'S BEEN POPPING THE CHAMPAGNE ALREADY? 188 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,733 - NO! NO, IT'S JUST-- 189 00:08:30,733 --> 00:08:31,867 COME ON! 190 00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:34,367 IT'S A WEDDING. GET INTO IT. 191 00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:37,567 YOU KNOW, THE ROMANCE, THE LOVE THAT'S ALL AROUND US. 192 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:41,167 CAN'T YOU SUCK IT UP FOR ONE DAY? 193 00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:45,467 - I'M INTO IT. I'M SUCKING. 194 00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:48,200 - YOU'RE DANCING WITH ME TODAY, JERKWAD. 195 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,433 - YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME THAT SINCE OUR WEDDING. 196 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,233 - AMY, WHERE'S YOUR MOM? 197 00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,467 - OH, SHE'S RUNNING AROUND 198 00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:01,233 LIKE A HEADLESS CHICKEN MAKING SURE... 199 00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,667 [imitating mother] ALL THE RELATIVES 200 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,600 ARE COMFORTABLE AND ARE SEATED PROPERLY. 201 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,900 [all laugh] 202 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,800 OH, DEAR, TINY AUNT FLORENCE. 203 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,200 CAN YOU SEE FROM THERE? 204 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,233 WOULD YOU LIKE A CUSHION OR A PHONE BOOK? 205 00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:14,967 [all laugh] 206 00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:18,733 [normal voice] HI, MOM! 207 00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:21,800 - HELLO. 208 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,133 - I'M SORRY, MOTHER. 209 00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:25,300 YOU KNOW I WAS JUST FOOLING AROUND. 210 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:28,900 - OH, I KNOW, HONEY. THAT NEVER BOTHERS ME. 211 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,767 AND YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT. 212 00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:37,533 AND YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL TODAY, AND-- 213 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:38,967 [sobbing] 214 00:09:38,967 --> 00:09:41,167 - WHAT? WHAT? 215 00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,333 - I'M SORRY. 216 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,867 I GUESS I PICTURED MY LITTLE GIRL'S WEDDING 217 00:09:45,867 --> 00:09:49,167 A CERTAIN WAY. 218 00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:51,033 I USED TO WORRY ABOUT TELLING YOU 219 00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:52,967 WHAT TO EXPECT-- 220 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:57,133 YOU KNOW, ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT? 221 00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:02,933 BUT YOU AND ROBERT HAVE ALREADY-- 222 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,933 - MOTHER, PLEASE! 223 00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:06,300 - I'M SORRY. 224 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,967 YOU'RE RIGHT, SWEETIE. 225 00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:10,100 I KNOW IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD. 226 00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:12,733 ALL FUN ALL THE TIME. 227 00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:20,233 BUT LOOK AT YOU. 228 00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:23,533 YOU'RE LIKE AN ANGEL DROPPED FROM HEAVEN, 229 00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:27,733 AND YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THAT FOR ME AND YOUR FATHER. 230 00:10:27,733 --> 00:10:31,600 - THANKS, MOM. 231 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,900 - I'D BETTER GO. 232 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:36,933 THAT PHONE BOOK FOR AUNT FLORENCE IS A GOOD IDEA. 233 00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:39,800 OH, MY, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GET STARTED IN FIVE MINUTES, 234 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,100 AND I HAVEN'T SEEN REVEREND STEVENS YET. 235 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,100 PETER? 236 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,267 - YES, MAMA? 237 00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,567 - HONEY, YOU PICKED UP REVEREND STEVENS THIS MORNING, 238 00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:49,600 DIDN'T YOU? 239 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,667 - WHY, YES, OF COURSE, I DID, MAMA. 240 00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:55,767 I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT RASCAL COULD'VE GOTTEN TO, 241 00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:57,133 BUT I'M ON IT. 242 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,233 - DID PETER COME IN HERE? 243 00:11:08,233 --> 00:11:10,833 - YEAH, HE'S IN THERE. 244 00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:15,200 - PETER? 245 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,033 COME ON, PETER, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE. 246 00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,933 - I'M VERY BUSY. 247 00:11:20,933 --> 00:11:22,367 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 248 00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,233 - HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK UP THE REVEREND GUY, 249 00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:26,067 AND NOBODY CAN FIND HIM. 250 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,033 - PETER, COME OUT THERE RIGHT NOW! 251 00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:30,633 - LET'S GO! - I CAN SEE YOU! 252 00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:37,733 - WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? 253 00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:39,067 - AH, REVEREND STEVENS. 254 00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,700 - SOMEBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK ME UP. 255 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,033 I HAD TO HITCHHIKE. 256 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,233 LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 257 00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:54,700 - WELL, GEE, WHO DID I PICK UP, THEN? 258 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,667 [scoffs] 259 00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:00,533 [knocking at door] 260 00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:03,167 - PETER? ARE YOU IN THERE, PETER? 261 00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:06,167 - YES, MAMA, I AM. COME ON IN. 262 00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:07,367 - OH, HELLO. 263 00:12:07,367 --> 00:12:08,867 PETER, WE FOUND REVEREND STEVENS. 264 00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:09,867 YOU CAN STOP LOOKING. 265 00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:12,367 - OH, THANK GOODNESS. 266 00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:14,233 - EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN HERE? 267 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,000 - YES, EVERYTHING'S FINE, MAMA. 268 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,033 EVERYTHING'S GREAT. 269 00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:20,267 HEY, I THINK IT'S WEDDING TIME, 270 00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:21,300 ISN'T IT? 271 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:24,800 PLACES, EVERYONE. 272 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,300 OH, GOOD LUCK OUT THERE. 273 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:34,033 ["Here Comes the Bride" playing] 274 00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:40,167 [processional organ music] 275 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,967 - GOOD MORNING. 276 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,767 all: GOOD MORNING. 277 00:13:15,767 --> 00:13:20,333 - WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY IN THE SIGHT OF GOD 278 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,333 TO JOIN TOGETHER IN MARRIAGE 279 00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:26,100 ROBERT CHARLES BARONE 280 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:29,433 AND AMY LOUISE MACDOUGALL. 281 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,700 IF THERE IS ANYONE HERE WHO KNOWS ANY REASON 282 00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:36,200 WHY THESE TWO PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE JOINED IN HOLY MATRIMONY, 283 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,167 LET THEM SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD THEIR PEACE. 284 00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:47,533 WE WILL BEGIN THIS MORNING-- 285 00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:48,633 - EXCUSE ME. 286 00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:54,467 I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING. 287 00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:04,267 - PARDON ME? WHAT WAS THAT? 288 00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:09,433 - I'M SORRY, BUT I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY SOMETHING. 289 00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:11,400 - MA! 290 00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:24,100 - DID YOU BRING YOUR GUN? 291 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,400 WHAT DO YOU DO NOW? 292 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,767 - I DON'T KNOW. THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. 293 00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:41,967 WELL, I GUESS, SPEAK NOW. 294 00:14:41,967 --> 00:14:45,267 - WELL, I WANTED TO SPEAK TO ROBBIE BEFORE THE CEREMONY, 295 00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:46,600 BUT HE DIDN'T GIVE ME A CHANCE 296 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,400 WHEN WE WERE IN THE BATHROOM TOGETHER. 297 00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:53,967 - DID SHE DO THIS TO YOU? 298 00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:56,667 - HONEY, THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. 299 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,567 - I'M JUST SO WORRIED 300 00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:05,033 THAT ROBBIE MIGHT ONLY BE GETTING MARRIED TODAY 301 00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:06,333 BECAUSE OF ME. 302 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:10,167 - MA, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 303 00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:12,367 - I MAY HAVE PRESSURED YOU INTO GETTING MARRIED 304 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:14,267 AND YOU WEREN'T READY YET. 305 00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:17,733 AND I NEED TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR MY SON, DON'T I? 306 00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:20,567 - COULD IT NOT BE TODAY? 307 00:15:27,833 --> 00:15:29,200 - I'M SORRY. 308 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,733 YOU KNOW I NEVER LIKE TO INTERFERE. 309 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,300 BUT I PUSHED YOU BECAUSE I WAS SO WORRIED 310 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,567 THAT YOU'D WIND UP WITH NOBODY, 311 00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:42,667 AND EVEN THOUGH THIS IS WONDERFUL AND-- 312 00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:47,933 AND I'M THRILLED TO BE HERE 313 00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:49,700 AND I LOVE AMY-- 314 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,033 HI, AMY-- 315 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,433 BUT IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST, 316 00:15:57,433 --> 00:16:01,133 I'M NOT SURE HOW AMY'S FAMILY FEELS ABOUT YOU. 317 00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:03,300 - MA, THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 318 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,500 - HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? 319 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,400 OF COURSE IT'S MY BUSINESS. 320 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:10,167 YOU'RE MY SON. YOU'RE MY BUSINESS. 321 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:13,700 - DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE RUINED 322 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:17,600 EVERY SINGLE EVENT I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE? 323 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,167 - WHAT ARE YOU GETTING SO UPSET ABOUT? 324 00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:21,133 WE'RE JUST TALKING. 325 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:29,433 - THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAY? 326 00:16:29,433 --> 00:16:33,033 YOU TRIED TO PUT DIFFERENT PANTS ON ME. 327 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,733 - YOU GOT YOURS DIRTY. 328 00:16:34,733 --> 00:16:37,033 ANY MOTHER WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME. 329 00:16:37,033 --> 00:16:41,667 - NOT WHILE I WAS ONSTAGE! 330 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,633 HUH? 331 00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:45,700 YOU DON'T SEE A PATTERN HERE? 332 00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:51,100 - A PATTERN OF LOVE. 333 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,667 I MEAN, FOR YEARS, I KEPT THINKING, 334 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,300 IF ONLY I HAD SPOKEN UP AT YOUR FIRST WEDDING 335 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,100 TO THAT TERRIBLE DANCER. 336 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,533 AND AS I RECALL-- 337 00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:06,333 AS I RECALL, 338 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,400 YOU WERE FINE WITH ME INTERFERING 339 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,800 WHEN YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO THROW THAT HUSSY OUT OF THE HOUSE. 340 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,233 NOT THAT THAT WOULD EVER HAPPEN HERE, DEAR. 341 00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:21,933 ALL I'M SAYING IS, 342 00:17:21,933 --> 00:17:24,933 I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVE AMY, 343 00:17:24,933 --> 00:17:26,600 AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE 344 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:30,433 THAT YOU'RE MARRYING TODAY FOR LOVE AND ONLY FOR LOVE, 345 00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:33,967 BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY A MARRIAGE CAN STAY TOGETHER. 346 00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:35,233 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, FRANK? 347 00:17:35,233 --> 00:17:37,733 - I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, LADY. 348 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:54,833 - ROBBIE, I SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY, 349 00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:56,467 AND IT CAME FROM LOVE. 350 00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:58,200 NOW YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT. 351 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:02,633 THIS IS YOUR LIFE. 352 00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:03,900 I FEEL BETTER NOW. 353 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,433 GO AHEAD, REVEREND. 354 00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:24,633 - OKAY, WE'RE BACK. 355 00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:30,667 - ALL RIGHT! 356 00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:34,367 AND NOW, HERE THEY ARE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 357 00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:36,733 FOR THE FIRST TIME ANYWHERE, 358 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:39,067 ROBERT AND AMY BARONE! 359 00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:41,133 [applause] 360 00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:46,400 [jazzy wedding march playing] 361 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,600 ALL RIGHT, AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 362 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,533 THE BUFFET IS OPEN. 363 00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:00,033 - HI! 364 00:19:00,033 --> 00:19:03,767 - HI! - HI. 365 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:06,133 - SO... 366 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:08,667 FEEL DIFFERENT? 367 00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:11,567 - YEAH. 368 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,333 - LIFE IS GOOD. 369 00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:24,767 - YES. 370 00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:26,333 YOU'RE MARRIED. 371 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,300 YOU TWO LOOKED BEAUTIFUL UP THERE, 372 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:32,700 AND...YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEALTH. 373 00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:35,667 - OH, HELLO! 374 00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:39,100 OH, I THOUGHT THE CEREMONY WAS BEAUTIFUL. 375 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,367 DIDN'T YOU, ROBBIE? 376 00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:43,233 - I'LL NEVER FORGET IT. 377 00:19:43,233 --> 00:19:45,300 - I AM SO HAPPY. 378 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:46,767 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 379 00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:48,467 I'M ACTUALLY STARVING. 380 00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:52,600 I FORGOT TO EAT TODAY, WHAT WITH ALL I HAD TO DO. 381 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,267 I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER. 382 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:00,500 - HEY, CAN I HAVE A BEER? 383 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,667 - SURE. 384 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,200 THAT'S $3, SIR. 385 00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:08,467 - JEEZALOO! 386 00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:11,400 HEY, LOOK. TELL YOU WHAT. 387 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,667 I THINK I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME 388 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:15,367 WHEN I CHANGED INTO THE MONKEY SUIT. 389 00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,233 COULD YOU LET ONE SLIDE? 390 00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:18,833 - I'M SORRY, SIR. I'M NOT ALLOWED. 391 00:20:18,833 --> 00:20:21,367 - AW, COME ON. COME ON. 392 00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:23,367 LISTEN, PAL, I DON'T CARE WHAT THE RULES ARE 393 00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:26,700 AT THIS STINKING HUMP OF A WEDDING. 394 00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,767 I AM THE FATHER OF THE GIGANTIC GROOM... 395 00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:33,133 AND I WANT BEER NOW. 396 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:36,667 BEER NOW, BEER NOW! 397 00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:38,867 - HERE. 398 00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:40,333 PLEASE, LET ME. 399 00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,533 - UH, THAT'S OKAY. 400 00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:45,067 - NO, FRANK, PLEASE. IT'S MY PLEASURE. 401 00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:48,800 - WELL, UH, THANKS THERE, HANK. 402 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,233 - SURE. 403 00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:52,167 YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY THAT OUR TWO FAMILIES 404 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:57,867 SEEM TO HAVE GOTTEN OFF ON SUCH A WRONG...WHAT'S THE WORD? 405 00:20:57,867 --> 00:21:00,767 FOOT. 406 00:21:00,767 --> 00:21:03,900 I MEAN, I LIKE TO THINK THAT I'M A NICE FELLA, 407 00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:07,667 AND I WAS ALWAYS TAUGHT TO FIND THE GOOD IN PEOPLE, 408 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,300 AND I WOULD LIKE TO IN YOU, FRANK. 409 00:21:12,267 --> 00:21:14,900 - WELL, I THINK YOU ARE A NICE FELLA, HANK. 410 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:17,433 BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU, 411 00:21:17,433 --> 00:21:19,167 YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND MUCH GOOD IN PEOPLE 412 00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:20,800 WHEN THEY DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO PENNSYLVANIA 413 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,000 FOR A BIG, LONG WEDDING 414 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,600 AND YOU SCREW THEM ON THE BOOZE. 415 00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:32,833 - WELL. 416 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,167 - "WELL"? 417 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,433 THAT'S ALL YOU GOT? 418 00:21:35,433 --> 00:21:36,633 "WELL"? 419 00:21:36,633 --> 00:21:37,933 - YES, BECAUSE "WELL" 420 00:21:37,933 --> 00:21:40,000 IS WHAT ONE SAYS WHEN ONE IS SHOCKED 421 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,400 BUT NOT PARTICULARLY SURPRISED 422 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,733 BY SOMEONE'S BOORISH BEHAVIOR. 423 00:21:43,733 --> 00:21:45,133 WELL. 424 00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:46,633 - [laughs] 425 00:21:46,633 --> 00:21:48,700 THAT IS SO FRICKING SAD. 426 00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:53,900 - OH, YES, FRANK, THAT'S SAD? 427 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,700 WELL, I WANT MY MONEY BACK. 428 00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,800 NOW WHO'S SAD? 429 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,167 OH, MR. BARTENDER, 430 00:22:00,167 --> 00:22:01,967 DON'T GIVE THIS MAN ANY ALCOHOL. 431 00:22:01,967 --> 00:22:03,567 HE SEEMS TO HAVE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH 432 00:22:03,567 --> 00:22:05,067 OVER THE COURSE OF HIS LIFE. 433 00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:06,267 - I'M A VETERAN! 434 00:22:06,267 --> 00:22:08,267 - A VETERAN OF THE BAD MANNERS ARMY. 435 00:22:08,267 --> 00:22:09,300 - TAKE A HIKE, BOY SCOUT! 436 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,333 - I'LL TAKE A HIKE WHEN... 437 00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:12,200 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HOLD IT! 438 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,600 BACK IT UP, CALM IT DOWN, 439 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:20,533 AND TAKE A LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE AT THE WEDDING. 440 00:22:20,533 --> 00:22:22,633 - THIS PHONY HOLY MAN AND HIS LIQUOR GOUGING 441 00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:25,300 HAVE RUINED AN OTHERWISE HAPPY OCCASION. 442 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:28,200 SO LONG, CHEAPSKATE. 443 00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:34,667 - HE GETS EMOTIONAL AT WEDDINGS. 444 00:22:37,067 --> 00:22:39,167 - MARIE, I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING. 445 00:22:39,167 --> 00:22:42,600 - I KNOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS FOOD? 446 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,367 - MARIE, WE'RE LEAVING. DROP THE MEAT. 447 00:22:44,367 --> 00:22:47,600 - WHAT? WE CAN'T LEAVE. 448 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,533 I'M THE MOTHER OF THE GROOM. 449 00:22:49,533 --> 00:22:51,200 NO MATTER HOW HORRIBLE THE FOOD IS, 450 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,400 I HAVE TO STAY. 451 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,933 - HELLO. 452 00:22:54,933 --> 00:22:58,867 - OH, PAT, WHAT A WONDERFUL SPREAD. 453 00:22:58,867 --> 00:23:00,567 - THANK YOU, MARIE, 454 00:23:00,567 --> 00:23:03,100 BUT PERHAPS FRANK IS RIGHT. 455 00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:05,533 PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO. 456 00:23:05,533 --> 00:23:07,000 - WHAT? 457 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,867 - YOU KNOW, THIS WEDDING, WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT, 458 00:23:09,867 --> 00:23:12,100 WAS FOR AMY AND ROBERT, 459 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,500 AND YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE INTRUDED 460 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:16,733 ON THEIR MOMENT OF HAPPINESS IN THE CHAPEL. 461 00:23:16,733 --> 00:23:18,633 - I WAS DOING IT FOR THEM. 462 00:23:18,633 --> 00:23:24,033 - OH, MARIE, I THINK MAYBE YOU WERE DOING IT FOR YOU, 463 00:23:24,033 --> 00:23:25,500 AND YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING 464 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,467 ABOUT WHAT YOU NEEDED TO EXPRESS, 465 00:23:27,467 --> 00:23:29,333 YOU WEREN'T THINKING ABOUT ANYONE ELSE, 466 00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:31,667 INCLUDING YOUR SON. 467 00:23:31,667 --> 00:23:35,233 I THINK THAT'S CALLED NARCISSISM. 468 00:23:43,967 --> 00:23:45,133 - ALL RIGHT. 469 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:46,633 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. 470 00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:49,733 CAN I SPEAK TO YOU IN PRIVATE, PLEASE, MRS. MACDOUGALL? 471 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:57,567 NOBODY'S EVER SAID THAT TO HER BEFORE. 472 00:24:02,767 --> 00:24:06,467 YOU'RE COOL. 473 00:24:06,467 --> 00:24:11,200 - THANK YOU, RAY, BUT I DON'T FEEL COOL. 474 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,033 I FEEL LIKE I JUST CONTRIBUTED 475 00:24:13,033 --> 00:24:14,933 TO THE WHOLE TONE OF THE WEDDING, 476 00:24:14,933 --> 00:24:17,867 WHICH IS BAD. 477 00:24:17,867 --> 00:24:19,267 IT'S RUINED, 478 00:24:19,267 --> 00:24:20,967 AND THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANTED TO DO 479 00:24:20,967 --> 00:24:24,033 FOR MY DAUGHTER AND HER NEW HUSBAND. 480 00:24:27,267 --> 00:24:29,533 - WHY DO I TALK TO PEOPLE? 481 00:24:31,233 --> 00:24:32,833 LISTEN-- - OKAY, EVERYBODY. 482 00:24:32,833 --> 00:24:35,300 IT'S TIME FOR THE TOAST FROM THE BEST MAN. 483 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:38,267 LET'S GIVE A BIG BARONE-MACDOUGALL WELCOME 484 00:24:38,267 --> 00:24:39,767 TO LITTLE BROTHER RAYMOND. 485 00:24:39,767 --> 00:24:42,133 COME ON, EVERYBODY, BRING HIM UP HERE! 486 00:24:42,133 --> 00:24:45,267 [applause] 487 00:24:50,067 --> 00:24:52,500 - HEY. 488 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:53,567 UH... 489 00:24:53,567 --> 00:24:55,133 [clears throat] 490 00:24:55,133 --> 00:24:56,600 WELL, I GOT TO BE HONEST. 491 00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,500 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY TODAY. 492 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,633 UH... 493 00:25:02,633 --> 00:25:04,233 I WANTED TO DO A NICE TOAST, 494 00:25:04,233 --> 00:25:06,167 BUT EVERYBODY DOES A NICE TOAST. 495 00:25:06,167 --> 00:25:08,833 BUT I WANTED IT TO BE SPECIAL, 496 00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,267 'CAUSE IT'S A SPECIAL DAY FOR MY BROTHER, ROBERT, 497 00:25:11,267 --> 00:25:14,200 AND HIS NEW WIFE, AMY. 498 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,367 SO, UH... 499 00:25:16,367 --> 00:25:18,700 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY. 500 00:25:22,433 --> 00:25:27,700 BUT THEN SOMETIMES MATERIAL 501 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:29,700 PRESENTS ITSELF. 502 00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:37,200 LIKE TODAY, FOR EXAMPLE-- 503 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,567 A LOT TO TALK ABOUT. 504 00:25:39,567 --> 00:25:41,767 BUT I THINK I CAN PUT A GOOD SPIN ON IT. 505 00:25:41,767 --> 00:25:43,400 I THINK, UH... 506 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,433 I THINK THERE'S ONE THING THAT CAN MAKE IT ALL BETTER: 507 00:25:47,433 --> 00:25:49,533 EDITING. 508 00:25:51,467 --> 00:25:54,400 YES, I THINK THERE'S A PORTION OF TODAY'S CEREMONY 509 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,733 THAT WE WON'T NEED TO SAVE ON THE VIDEOTAPE. 510 00:25:59,533 --> 00:26:01,233 EDITING. 511 00:26:01,233 --> 00:26:03,467 YOU KNOW, ROBERT AND I, 512 00:26:03,467 --> 00:26:05,200 WHEN WE REMEMBER OUR CHILDHOOD, 513 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,633 WE KIND OF USE THAT TECHNOLOGY 514 00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:10,333 IN OUR HEADS. 515 00:26:10,333 --> 00:26:13,000 YOU KNOW, WE ONLY REMEMBER THE GOOD STUFF, 516 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,633 LIKE THE FOOD. 517 00:26:14,633 --> 00:26:16,733 YEAH, WE DON'T REMEMBER WHEN MOM WOULD YELL AT DAD 518 00:26:16,733 --> 00:26:19,833 NOT TO SCRATCH HIS REAR END WITH A SPATULA... 519 00:26:19,833 --> 00:26:23,067 [laughter] 520 00:26:23,067 --> 00:26:26,367 IN THE BAKERY. 521 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,133 EDITING. 522 00:26:31,133 --> 00:26:32,267 YEAH, YOU KNOW, 523 00:26:32,267 --> 00:26:33,767 ANYBODY WHO KNOWS OUR FAMILY 524 00:26:33,767 --> 00:26:36,567 PROBABLY WASN'T SURPRISED BY WHAT HAPPENED TODAY. 525 00:26:36,567 --> 00:26:38,567 I MEAN, AMY KNEW WHAT SHE WAS GETTING INTO 526 00:26:38,567 --> 00:26:40,600 WHEN SHE MARRIED INTO THIS FAMILY, 527 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,333 AND THAT'S WHY I GOT HER A WEDDING GIFT 528 00:26:42,333 --> 00:26:44,033 I KNOW SHE CAN USE: 529 00:26:44,033 --> 00:26:46,233 CYANIDE. 530 00:26:51,533 --> 00:26:52,767 YEAH. 531 00:26:52,767 --> 00:26:54,000 AND BY THE WAY, ROBERT, 532 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,267 IF YOU THINK IT WAS ANNOYING TODAY 533 00:26:55,267 --> 00:26:57,333 WHEN MOM INTERRUPTED THE CEREMONY, 534 00:26:57,333 --> 00:27:01,300 WAIT TILL SHE INTERRUPTS TONIGHT, YEAH. 535 00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:04,033 YEAH, "I GOT TO SAY, ROBERT, 536 00:27:04,033 --> 00:27:06,300 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE DOING THAT CORRECTLY." 537 00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:10,933 SHE'S INVOLVED, OUR MOM. 538 00:27:10,933 --> 00:27:14,333 I LIKED IT TODAY WHEN MY MOM SAID, 539 00:27:14,333 --> 00:27:15,667 "I'M A MOTHER. 540 00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:16,733 YOU ARE MY BUSINESS." 541 00:27:16,733 --> 00:27:18,300 YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE WAITING FOR, MA? 542 00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:20,567 YOUR "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS" SALE. 543 00:27:25,733 --> 00:27:27,000 BUT I THINK AMY UNDERSTANDS 544 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,400 THAT THAT'S WHAT MARRIAGE IS ABOUT. 545 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,233 I MEAN, SHE'S NOT ONLY GETTING A HUSBAND; 546 00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:33,400 SHE'S GETTING AN ENTIRE MENTAL HOSPITAL. 547 00:27:36,433 --> 00:27:37,900 MY WIFE, DEB, LIKES THAT, RIGHT? 548 00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:38,967 THAT'S MY WIFE OVER THERE, 549 00:27:38,967 --> 00:27:40,433 THE DRUNK ONE. 550 00:27:40,433 --> 00:27:41,300 YEAH. 551 00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:43,100 I'M JUST PLAYING. 552 00:27:43,100 --> 00:27:44,533 SHE COULDN'T BE DRUNK HERE 553 00:27:44,533 --> 00:27:46,700 UNLESS SHE TOOK OUT A LOAN FOR A WHISKEY SOUR. 554 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,200 I WANT TO THANK AMY'S FAMILY-- HANK AND PAT-- 555 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,933 FOR THROWING A WONDERFUL PARTY. 556 00:27:55,933 --> 00:27:57,767 THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO THROW ONE, YEAH. 557 00:27:57,767 --> 00:27:59,100 YEAH, YOU KNOW-- 558 00:27:59,100 --> 00:28:00,900 YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANTED MY MOM TO BE SPEECHLESS, 559 00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:04,600 YOU SHOULD'VE SHOWN HER THE BUFFET BEFORE THE CEREMONY. 560 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:08,400 BUT I KID. 561 00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:12,500 I KID THE MACDOUGALLS. 562 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,167 WE GET ALONG GREAT WITH THEM, 563 00:28:14,167 --> 00:28:15,500 ESPECIALLY WITH PETER, 564 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:20,000 WHO, BY THE WAY, LADIES, IS STILL SINGLE. 565 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,000 YEAH. 566 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,933 STILL SINGLE. 567 00:28:22,933 --> 00:28:26,200 BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M SURE THERE'S SOMEBODY FOR HIM OUT THERE, 568 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:30,133 AND SHE'D BETTER BE REALLY OUT THERE. 569 00:28:35,967 --> 00:28:39,400 YEAH. YEAH. 570 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,567 AND, YOU KNOW, ONE MORE THING 571 00:28:41,567 --> 00:28:43,067 ABOUT THE EDITING. 572 00:28:43,067 --> 00:28:44,867 I, UH... 573 00:28:44,867 --> 00:28:47,467 I THINK YOU'RE GONNA REMEMBER ABOUT TODAY 574 00:28:47,467 --> 00:28:49,700 WHAT YOU WANT TO REMEMBER. 575 00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:53,367 YOU KNOW, I GUESS OUR BRAINS ARE GOOD LIKE THAT. 576 00:28:53,367 --> 00:28:55,133 LIKE, I REMEMBER MY WEDDING DAY 577 00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:57,033 AS THE DAY THAT I GOT TO KISS 578 00:28:57,033 --> 00:28:59,400 THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD. 579 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,800 YEAH. 580 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:02,967 AND I THINK SHE REMEMBERS IT. 581 00:29:02,967 --> 00:29:04,733 AT LEAST, I HOPE SHE DOES. 582 00:29:04,733 --> 00:29:06,167 IT WAS A GOOD DAY, 583 00:29:06,167 --> 00:29:08,900 THE START OF A LOT OF GOOD MEMORIES. 584 00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:10,967 WE COMPLETELY BLOTTED OUT THE PART 585 00:29:10,967 --> 00:29:12,667 WHERE MOM WAS HANGING ON TO MY PANTS LEG, 586 00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:13,900 YELLING, "DON'T GO! 587 00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:15,767 DON'T GO!" 588 00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:21,367 YEAH, WE DIDN'T SAVE THOSE PICTURES, 589 00:29:21,367 --> 00:29:24,767 JUST THE GOOD ONES, 590 00:29:24,767 --> 00:29:26,500 JUST THE GOOD ONES. 591 00:29:28,567 --> 00:29:31,233 SO HERE'S TO MY BROTHER, ROBERT, 592 00:29:31,233 --> 00:29:33,833 AND THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM-- 593 00:29:33,833 --> 00:29:36,400 MY NEW SISTER, AMY. 594 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,800 YOU'LL KEEP THE GOOD ONES. 595 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,500 [cheers] 596 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:45,433 [applause] 597 00:30:00,433 --> 00:30:02,200 - OH! 598 00:30:04,033 --> 00:30:05,700 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS NOW TIME 599 00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:09,333 FOR ROBERT AND AMY'S FIRST DANCE AS HUSBAND AND WIFE 600 00:30:09,333 --> 00:30:10,633 TO A SONG THEY CHOSE 601 00:30:10,633 --> 00:30:12,600 ESPECIALLY FOR THE OCCASION. 602 00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:22,633 [Elvis Presley's "A Little Less Conversation" playing] 603 00:30:41,467 --> 00:30:43,167 - [singing] A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION 604 00:30:43,167 --> 00:30:45,667 A LITTLE MORE ACTION, PLEASE 605 00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:49,700 ALL THIS AGGRAVATION AIN'T SATISFACTIONING ME 606 00:30:49,700 --> 00:30:51,833 A LITTLE MORE BITE, A LITTLE LESS BARK 607 00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:53,967 A LITTLE LESS FIGHT AND A LITTLE MORE SPARK 608 00:30:53,967 --> 00:30:55,400 CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND OPEN UP YOUR HEART 609 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,833 AND, BABY, SATISFY ME 610 00:30:57,833 --> 00:31:00,367 SATISFY ME, BABY 611 00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:19,200 BABY, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC 612 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,933 DRIFTING THROUGH THE SUMMER BREEZE 613 00:31:20,933 --> 00:31:23,300 IT'S A GROOVY NIGHT, AND I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO USE IT 614 00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:25,367 COME ALONG WITH ME AND PUT YOUR MIND AT EASE 615 00:31:25,367 --> 00:31:26,933 A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION 616 00:31:26,933 --> 00:31:29,433 A LITTLE MORE ACTION, PLEASE 617 00:31:29,433 --> 00:31:33,533 ALL THIS AGGRAVATION AIN'T SATISFACTIONING ME 618 00:31:33,533 --> 00:31:35,600 A LITTLE MORE BITE, A LITTLE LESS BARK 619 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,567 A LITTLE LESS FIGHT AND A LITTLE MORE SPARK 620 00:31:37,567 --> 00:31:39,300 CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND OPEN UP YOUR HEART 621 00:31:39,300 --> 00:31:41,467 AND, BABY, SATISFY ME - SATISFY ME 622 00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:44,167 - SATISFY ME, BABY - SATISFY ME 623 00:31:44,167 --> 00:31:48,233 - COME ON, BABY, I'M TIRED OF TALKIN' 624 00:31:48,233 --> 00:31:52,367 GRAB YOUR COAT AND LET'S START WALKIN' 625 00:31:52,367 --> 00:31:54,633 COME ON, COME ON - COME ON, COME ON