1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,100 - HEY, DEBRA, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 2 00:00:03,967 --> 00:00:05,733 TOMORROW, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, 3 00:00:05,733 --> 00:00:08,567 IS AMY'S AND MY THREE-MONTH ANNIVERSARY. 4 00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:12,167 - OH! WHAT TIME'S THE PARADE? 5 00:00:12,167 --> 00:00:16,333 - AND WE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOU-- DEBRA-- 6 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:20,033 OVER TO CELEBRATE, AND YOU CAN BRING SOMEBODY. 7 00:00:21,867 --> 00:00:23,167 - OH, THAT'S SWEET. 8 00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:24,600 - CAN'T MAKE IT. - WE'LL BE THERE. 9 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:25,767 - NOPE. - YUP. 10 00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,433 DO THE LAUNDRY. 11 00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:31,433 - HOW 'BOUT I SHRINK YOUR UNDERWEAR 12 00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:33,633 AND MAKE YOU THINK YOUR BUTT'S GOING FAT? 13 00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:42,100 - TROUBLE IN PARADISE? 14 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:46,033 - NO, JUST WEDNESDAY IN PARADISE. 15 00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,867 - CARE FOR SOME ADVICE? 16 00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:51,600 - NO. 17 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,300 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'VE FOUND 18 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,667 TO BE THE KEY TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE. 19 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:58,333 - SAYS THE MAN WHO MARRIED A STRIPPER, 20 00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:00,000 THEN DIVORCED A STRIPPER, 21 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,667 THEN MARRIED A REGULAR PERSON 22 00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:06,600 AND--AND HUNG IN THERE A WHOLE THREE MONTHS. 23 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,700 - WANT A HAPPY MARRIAGE? 24 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,333 HOLD HANDS. 25 00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:14,467 - HOLD HANDS? - HOLD HANDS. 26 00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:17,533 - YOU'RE A STUPID PERSON. 27 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,133 - I'M SERIOUS. 28 00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:21,600 SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS HOLDING HANDS 29 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,700 COULD GIVE SOMEONE A SENSE OF TOGETHERNESS. 30 00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:30,167 - STOP IT! 31 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,700 - YOU ARE SO AFRAID OF AFFECTION. 32 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:36,300 - YOU DON'T TOUCH ME. 33 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:37,767 - RAYMOND, RAYMOND, RAYMOND, 34 00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:39,333 YOU'RE SO CLOSED OFF. 35 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,033 HOLDING YOUR WIFE'S HAND COULD BE PLEASURABLE FOR YOU, 36 00:01:42,033 --> 00:01:43,533 AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, 37 00:01:43,533 --> 00:01:48,333 IT MIGHT ALLOW HER TO FEEL WANTED AND LOVED BY YOU. 38 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,600 - HOW DOES THAT GET ME OUT OF LAUNDRY? 39 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,033 - IF YOU COULD CONNECT WITH YOUR WIFE EMOTIONALLY, 40 00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:58,067 THEN PERHAPS YOU WOULDN'T SEE DOING LAUNDRY AS A CHORE. 41 00:01:58,067 --> 00:01:59,533 YOU MIGHT DO IT WILLINGLY, 42 00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:03,733 FOR HER, AS A GESTURE OF LOVE. 43 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:09,767 - YOU ARE AN IDIOT WRAPPED IN A MORON. 44 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,233 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M WRAPPED IN-- 45 00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,633 A GOOD AND HEALTHY MARRIAGE. 46 00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:19,100 - YEAH, WELL, WRAP IT UP TO GO. 47 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,200 - YEAH, WELL, FINE. 48 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,233 I FOUND SOMETHING THAT WORKS, 49 00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:23,833 I'M TRYING TO PASS IT ON, 50 00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:27,433 BUT, HEY, IF YOU'RE HAPPY WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE... 51 00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:34,800 WHAT'S THIS FOR? 52 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,533 - YOU'RE A BOOB. 53 00:02:57,533 --> 00:03:01,433 - I'M SORRY, RAY. I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. 54 00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:04,867 - I JUST--JUST WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND. 55 00:03:04,867 --> 00:03:07,167 - WHY? 56 00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:08,867 - I GOT TO HAVE A REASON? 57 00:03:08,867 --> 00:03:11,367 I WANTED TO HOLD YOUR HAND, SO I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND. 58 00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:13,500 - OH. 59 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,700 OKAY. 60 00:03:30,033 --> 00:03:32,533 I NEED TO TURN THE PAGE. 61 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:39,700 - STUPID ROBERT. - WHAT? 62 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:42,667 - HE GAVE ME ADVICE: "HOLD HANDS." 63 00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:45,200 OKAY, SO I TRIED. YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T LIKE IT. 64 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,433 STUPID ROBERT. 65 00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:48,800 - ROBERT GAVE YOU ADVICE? 66 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,767 - YEAH, MARRIAGE ADVICE... 67 00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:51,967 TO ME... 68 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:54,067 ABOUT MARRIAGE... 69 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,400 ADVICE... 70 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,867 TO ME. 71 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:01,867 - SO THAT WAS ROBERT'S ADVICE YOU WERE TRYING? 72 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,633 - YEAH, YEAH, "HOLD HANDS." 73 00:04:03,633 --> 00:04:06,067 HE'S MARRIED THREE MONTHS; HE'S ON THE LECTURE CIRCUIT. 74 00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:11,133 - SO YOU WERE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING FOR OUR MARRIAGE? 75 00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:12,600 - YUP. YOU KNOW WHAT, 76 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,833 I'M GONNA CALL HIM AND TELL HIM HOW IT WENT. 77 00:04:13,833 --> 00:04:15,100 - NO, NO, NO. 78 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,233 LISTEN, I-I DIDN'T REALIZE. 79 00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:19,767 COME ON. LET'S TRY AGAIN. 80 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:20,833 - WHAT? 81 00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:23,033 - YEAH, COME ON. WHY NOT? 82 00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:30,933 I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE SEX OR SOMETHING, 83 00:04:30,933 --> 00:04:32,633 BUT THIS IS NICE. 84 00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:38,300 - YEAH? - YEAH. 85 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,733 - YEAH, AND THIS I CAN DO A LONG TIME. 86 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,100 JUST, UH, ONE THING. 87 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,600 WOULD YOU MIND NOT SCRUNCHING IT? 88 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,900 - WHAT? 89 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,400 - YEAH, I FORGOT. 90 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,033 YOU HAVE THIS WAY OF, LIKE, LINING UP MY KNUCKLES 91 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,800 AND KINDA GRINDING THEM. 92 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,700 - OH. SORRY. 93 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:04,967 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 94 00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:07,800 THAT'S PROBABLY WHY I DON'T HOLD HANDS MORE. 95 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,333 - THAT'S NOT WHY. 96 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,233 - YES, YES, IT IS. THAT'S WHY-- 97 00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:14,333 THE TERRIBLE PAIN. 98 00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:18,100 - WELL, I MEAN, GIVE ME SOMETHING. 99 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,200 YOUR HAND'S JUST LAYING THERE. 100 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,200 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "JUST LAYING THERE"? 101 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,367 - WELL, THIS IS NOT HOLDING HANDS. 102 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,367 THIS IS LAYING IT ON THERE. 103 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:30,033 - MAYBE MY HAND'S AFRAID OF YOU, SO IT'S PLAYING DEAD. 104 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,800 - WELL, IF ANYTHING, I'M TRYING TO GIVE IT CPR, 105 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,500 MR. CADAVER HAND. 106 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,700 - ALL RIGHT, SEE? SEE? I KNEW THIS WOULDN'T WORK. 107 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,133 THERE'S NO POINT IN DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 108 00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:40,433 YOU KNOW WHY? 109 00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:42,800 BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY LIKE BEING MAD AT ME. 110 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,033 - WHAT? - YES, YOU DO. 111 00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:46,367 IT'S FUN FOR YOU OR SOMETHING. 112 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:47,700 YOU ACTUALLY PREFER IT THAT WAY. 113 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:50,000 - OH, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! - SEE? 114 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,767 YOU'RE MAD, JUST LIKE YOU LIKE. 115 00:05:52,767 --> 00:05:56,433 - RAY, IF I'M MAD, IT'S NOT BECAUSE I ENJOY IT. 116 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,633 - WELL, WHY, THEN? - BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME 117 00:05:58,633 --> 00:06:00,600 IN TEN YEARS, YOU HOLD MY HAND, BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE 118 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,100 YOU WANT TO PROVE YOUR BROTHER WRONG, 119 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,800 AND THEN YOU SAY I'M GRINDING IT UP 120 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,100 BECAUSE I ENJOY BEING MAD. 121 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:09,533 OKAY. FORGET IT. FORGET IT. 122 00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:11,733 EVERYTHING IS FINE, AND YOU ARE PERFECT. 123 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,433 WHO'S ROBERT TO GIVE YOU ADVICE? 124 00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:16,700 YOU DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM ANYBODY. 125 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,200 - DEB... - I SAID FORGET IT. 126 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:28,167 - NO, LOOK. LOOK, I'M SORRY, OKAY? 127 00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:29,367 THAT WASN'T THE ONLY REASON I DID IT, 128 00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,100 JUST TO PROVE ROBERT WRONG. 129 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,767 I-I ALSO DID IT... 130 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:36,300 TO HELP OUR MARRIAGE. 131 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:39,800 OKAY? 'CAUSE WE--WE HAVE A GOOD, HEALTHY MARRIAGE 132 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,733 THAT I'M VERY MUCH INTO. 133 00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:45,333 VERY MUCH. 134 00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,733 - YOU CAN STOP NOW. 135 00:06:47,733 --> 00:06:49,667 - OH, COME ON. 136 00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:50,933 COME ON. 137 00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:55,567 YOU KNOW YOU STILL LOVE MR. CADAVER MCFLOPPYHAND. 138 00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:56,800 - STOP IT. 139 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,900 - COME ON. 140 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,500 COME ON. HOLD MY FLIPPER. 141 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,133 - DO YOU CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL? 142 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,900 - WHAT? YES, OF COURSE I CARE ABOUT YOU. 143 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,733 IT'S ROBERT, OKAY? 144 00:07:07,733 --> 00:07:09,333 I DON'T NEED ROBERT SEEING YOU LIKE THIS TOMORROW 145 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,333 AT HIS-- AT HIS THREE-MONTH JUBILEE 146 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:14,267 GOING, "TROUBLE IN PARADISE?" 147 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,800 - NO, THIS IS NOT ROBERT'S FAULT. 148 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,433 THIS IS YOUR FAULT, 149 00:07:17,433 --> 00:07:19,400 BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING. 150 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,867 IT'S THE SAME OLD STORY. 151 00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:22,733 - NO, STOP, WAIT A MINUTE. LET ME SAY ONE THING. 152 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:26,900 OKAY, JUST, COULD WE MAKE UP FOR TOMORROW NIGHT? 153 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:29,000 - WHY? 154 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,533 - BECAUSE ROBERT THINKS HE HAS A BETTER MARRIAGE THAN ME. 155 00:07:33,533 --> 00:07:36,267 - SO WHY DON'T YOU WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE? 156 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:38,100 - OKAY, BUT THIS THING IS TOMORROW NIGHT, 157 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:41,867 AND I'M GOLFING IN THE MORNING, SO JUST... 158 00:07:41,867 --> 00:07:43,600 LOOK... 159 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,367 PLEASE... 160 00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:46,700 FOR NOW, JUST FOR NOW, 161 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,733 COULD WE JUST PRETEND THAT WE MADE UP? 162 00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:52,367 YOU KNOW, MY MOTHER'S GONNA BE THERE. 163 00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:54,233 - SO? 164 00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:57,533 - SO... COMPARING YOU TO AMY, 165 00:07:57,533 --> 00:08:01,967 COMPARING YOUR MARRIAGE TO AMY'S MARRIAGE, 166 00:08:01,967 --> 00:08:06,200 COMPARING THE NEW WIFE TO THE... 167 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,133 YOUR MARRIAGE. 168 00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:14,300 DOING A WIFE-TO-WIFE COMPARISON. 169 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:17,633 YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT. 170 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,033 - YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. 171 00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:45,667 - FEELS PERFECTLY FINE. 172 00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:47,500 WE DON'T NEED HER. 173 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,433 DEB, LISTEN. 174 00:08:56,433 --> 00:09:00,000 LOOK, I KNOW-- I KNOW THIS IS GONNA SOUND-- 175 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,233 WHATEVER. I'M--I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT, OKAY? 176 00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:04,400 I SCREWED UP. 177 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,133 I JUST-- IT WAS TOTALLY MY FAULT, 178 00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:09,333 AND YOU WERE RIGHT TO FEEL WHATEVER YOU FEEL. 179 00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:14,167 AND JUST I'M SORRY, HONEY. I LOVE YOU. 180 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:15,700 - NICE TRY. 181 00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:21,067 [doorbell rings] 182 00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:24,200 - HEY. COME ON IN. 183 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,567 - HEY. HI, HEY, WE'RE HERE. 184 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,800 HOW WE DOING, POOPS? - STOP IT. 185 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,400 - OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME YOUR JACKET? 186 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,200 - NO. - YOUR HAIR LOOKS NICE. 187 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,567 - NO, IT DOESN'T. 188 00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:37,667 - HI. WE'RE ALMOST READY. - OH, GREAT. 189 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:40,333 - YOU TWO ARE LATE. PEOPLE ARE HUNGRY. 190 00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:42,133 - SORRY. IT'S KIND OF HARD 191 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,900 TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW, THE KIDS. 192 00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,433 - BECAUSE OF THAT BABYSITTER, ISN'T IT? 193 00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:49,267 I MEAN, THE ONE WHO WEARS THOSE ROCK AND ROLL T-SHIRTS. 194 00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:52,733 I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE WITH HER. 195 00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:56,267 - SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. 196 00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,067 - CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND THERE, LITTLE LADY? 197 00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:00,433 - OH. 198 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,033 - SHE HAS ONE OF THOSE "KISS THE COOK" APRONS, 199 00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:04,233 BUT SHE DOESN'T NEED IT. 200 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,867 - OH, THAT WAS SO SWEET: 201 00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:36,700 YOU TWO CELEBRATING YOUR ANNIVERSARY LIKE THIS. 202 00:10:38,067 --> 00:10:41,400 WE USED TO BE HAPPY. REMEMBER, FRANK? 203 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:45,733 - THEN THE METEOR HIT AND KILLED ALL THE DINOSAURS. 204 00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:51,267 EXCEPT FOR ONE. 205 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,100 - AHEM. HELLO. 206 00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,500 - OH, EXCUSE ME. 207 00:10:57,500 --> 00:11:00,100 I WAS JUST GETTING A LITTLE DESSERT. 208 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,667 - [giggling] ROBERT. 209 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,533 - I CAN'T HELP IT! 210 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:13,600 - OH, THIS IS EXCITING. THREE MONTHS! 211 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,600 - I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE SILLY TO CELEBRATE THREE MONTHS. 212 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:21,633 - NO, NO, IT'S WONDERFUL. ENJOY IT. IT'S NICE. 213 00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:24,800 - WELL, YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT'S BEEN GETTING HERE, 214 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:29,500 AND THE WEDDING WAS A LITTLE BUMPY, BUT... 215 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,367 IT'S BEEN EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR. 216 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:32,733 - AWW. 217 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,933 - YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. 218 00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:36,333 - WHAT DID I DO? 219 00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,567 - YOU INTRODUCED ME TO ROBERT. 220 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,033 AND THEN YOU HELPED ME GET OVER HIM 221 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,533 AND GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM, 222 00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:43,500 GET OVER HIM AGAIN, AND THEN MARRY HIM. 223 00:11:45,433 --> 00:11:46,867 AND SO NOW I WANT TO HELP YOU. 224 00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:48,900 - WITH WHAT? 225 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,933 - YOUR MARRIAGE. 226 00:11:51,933 --> 00:11:55,100 HERE. I READ THIS GREAT BOOK. 227 00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,467 I THOUGHT OF YOU THE WHOLE TIME. 228 00:11:56,467 --> 00:12:01,367 - "MARRIAGE IS AN AMUSEMENT PARK." 229 00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:03,000 - ISN'T THAT A GOOD ANALOGY? 230 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,667 - OH, WELL, I THINK I GET IT-- 231 00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,700 THE UPS AND DOWNS, LIKE A ROLLER COASTER. 232 00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,800 - YEAH. BUT THAT'S JUST ONE CHAPTER. 233 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,967 THERE'S "HAUNTED HOUSE," "THE HALL OF MIRRORS," 234 00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:15,133 "RIDE MAINTENANCE." 235 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:20,533 - HOW ABOUT THE RIDES THAT MAKE YOU THROW UP? 236 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,300 - THAT'S GREAT. 237 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:26,233 BUT THEY'RE ALL IN HERE, AND THE POINT IS... 238 00:12:26,233 --> 00:12:28,300 YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE ALL THE ATTRACTIONS, 239 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:31,300 BUT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE WHOLE PARK. 240 00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:38,367 THIS IS THE COUPLE THAT WROTE IT. 241 00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:40,867 THEY'RE BOTH LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKERS, 242 00:12:40,867 --> 00:12:44,067 BUT THEY'RE FUNNY TOO. 243 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,333 - YEAH, THEY LOOK FUNNY. 244 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,100 - YEAH, THEY'RE FUNNY... 245 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:51,200 BUT THEY CAN HELP. 246 00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:55,667 - WELL, GREAT. 247 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,267 THANKS. 248 00:12:57,267 --> 00:13:00,467 OOH, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. THANKS. 249 00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:02,800 OKAY, WELL, I'M JUST GONNA GO... 250 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,767 OUT THERE. 251 00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:10,233 - IN THOSE DAYS, IT ONLY COST 50 CENTS 252 00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:11,533 TO SEE A MOVIE. 253 00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,300 - AND YOU GOT TWO MOVIES, A NEWSREEL, 254 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:14,633 AND A STAGE SHOW. 255 00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:18,367 YOUR MOTHER HAD TO KEEP IT SHUT FOR FIVE HOURS. 256 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:21,133 - AND YOU REMEMBER, THEY USED TO GIVE YOU PLATES? 257 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,233 YOU COULD MAKE A WHOLE SET. 258 00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:23,733 REMEMBER WE GOT THE GREEN ONES. 259 00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:25,433 WE DIDN'T LIKE 'EM, WE BROUGHT THEM BACK? 260 00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,633 - YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I GOT IN THE KITCHEN. 261 00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:29,167 - WHAT? 262 00:13:29,167 --> 00:13:31,367 - MARRIAGE ADVICE FROM AMY. 263 00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:36,767 - WELL, UNLESS THE ADVICE WAS MORE SEX, HOW DARE SHE? 264 00:13:36,767 --> 00:13:40,500 - SHE GAVE ME THIS BOOK BECAUSE SHE THINKS I NEED IT. 265 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:42,367 - WHO ARE THESE TWO IDIOTS? 266 00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:43,833 - CAN YOU BELIEVE AMY? 267 00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:46,300 I MEAN, SHE'S BEEN MARRIED FOR THREE MONTHS. 268 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,467 SHE PROBABLY STILL SHAVES HER LEGS. 269 00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:50,700 - [scoffs] 270 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,200 - GIVING YOU ADVICE. 271 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,400 - I KNOW! 272 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,633 - DON'T YOU THINK IT'S COOL 273 00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:58,133 HOW I'M NOT RUBBING YOUR FACE 274 00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:00,367 IN HOW OBVIOUSLY WRONG YOU WERE? 275 00:14:00,367 --> 00:14:01,800 - DINNER IS SERVED. 276 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,233 OKAY, LET'S ALL SIT DOWN. 277 00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,000 - OH, DOESN'T THAT LOOK NICE, AMY. 278 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,200 - OH, THANKS. 279 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,733 - ONE CHICKEN? 280 00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:15,033 - THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING. 281 00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:18,500 NOW I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST... 282 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,067 TO MY BRIDE. 283 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,667 - AWW. 284 00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:26,067 - 90 DAYS-- THAT IS WHAT WE HAVE SHARED. 285 00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,433 90 DAYS, 286 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:32,067 THE USUAL SENTENCE FOR VAGRANCY. 287 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,467 BUT I NEVER KNEW 288 00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:36,533 THAT SUCH A SHORT TIME COULD BE SO FULL OF JOY. 289 00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:40,400 - OH, ROBERT. 290 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,567 - AND YET THE TIME HAS ALSO GONE SO QUICKLY. 291 00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:46,400 90 DAYS. 292 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,700 - YEAH, HOW MANY DAYS IS THIS GONNA TAKE? 293 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:51,633 - RAYMOND. 294 00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:53,233 NO, NO, - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 295 00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:55,267 I DON'T WANT TO GET OVERLY SENTIMENTAL. 296 00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:57,400 I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I THINK WE ALL KNOW 297 00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,267 HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND TRUE LOVE IN THIS WORLD, 298 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,033 AND I THINK THAT I... 299 00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:04,300 WAS ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES. 300 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,167 SO, AMY, NO MATTER HOW LONG WE'RE TOGETHER, 301 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,633 YOU WILL ALWAYS BE... 302 00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:11,600 FOREVER MY LOVE. 303 00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:19,500 - PASS THE BEANS, WILL YA? - YEAH, HERE. 304 00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,400 - I GUESS I SHOULD REALLY 305 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,833 SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY HUSBAND NOW. 306 00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:25,933 - YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING. 307 00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:28,467 - FOR THE LOVE OF JOE. 308 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,800 - WHAT? 309 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,567 - NO, NOTHING. IT'S FINE. GO RIGHT AHEAD. 310 00:15:37,567 --> 00:15:40,233 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT'S WRONG? 311 00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:42,100 - IT'S JUST THAT YOU TWO 312 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:43,700 ARE POURING IT ON A LITTLE THICK, 313 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,267 DON'T YOU THINK? 314 00:15:45,267 --> 00:15:46,467 - IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY. 315 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:50,067 - IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS. 316 00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:51,600 FOR GOD'S SAKE, I SPENT THREE MONTHS 317 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:56,067 JUST WAITING FOR HIM TO COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM. 318 00:15:59,067 --> 00:16:00,400 - I SPENT TEN MONTHS 319 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,767 JUST WAITING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS 320 00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:04,600 YELLING, "COME ON. YOUR HAIR LOOKS FINE." 321 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,233 - I'VE HAD 3 1/2 YEARS OF HIM JUST BURPING. 322 00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,567 - I'M BURPING YOUR FOOD. 323 00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,100 - YEAH, I SHOULD PROBABLY POISON YOURS. 324 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:11,267 - MAYBE THAT'D GIVE IT SOME FLAVOR. 325 00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:12,933 - HEY, YOU LISTEN HERE-- - HOLD IT. 326 00:16:12,933 --> 00:16:14,033 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 327 00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:16,667 - YES, THIS IS UNSEEMLY. 328 00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:27,800 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 329 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,033 DID WE OFFEND YOU SOMEHOW? 330 00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,133 - I THINK I CAN EXPLAIN, AMY. 331 00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:35,100 YOU SEE, THEY'RE JEALOUS. 332 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,167 - WHAT? WHY? 333 00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,367 - BECAUSE WE...ARE HAPPY. 334 00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:41,200 - OH, GIVE ME A BREAK. 335 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,767 - YEAH, AND DON'T GIVE US ANY MORE BOOKS 336 00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:47,100 LIKE "MARRIAGE IS A CIRCUS. EMBRACE YOUR CLOWN." 337 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,667 - I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU WITH THAT. 338 00:16:49,667 --> 00:16:51,000 - WHAT BOOK? 339 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,533 - IT'S A MARRIAGE GUIDE. 340 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,700 IN FACT, MARIE, I GOT YOU AND FRANK ONE. 341 00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,267 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 342 00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:13,300 WHY WOULD YOU GET US A MARRIAGE BOOK? 343 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,467 - YEAH, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THAT SUBJECT. 344 00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:23,033 - I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT FIND IT USEFUL. 345 00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:32,933 - YOU'RE GIVING US ADVICE ABOUT MARRIAGE? 346 00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:35,600 - THAT'S WHAT THEY DO, MA. 347 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,067 - I'M JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL. 348 00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:41,767 - THESE MAY NOT BE THE PEOPLE TO HELP. 349 00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:45,767 - I'M SORRY, EVERYBODY. 350 00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:49,100 I GUESS I JUST DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS. 351 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,100 - AMY, OUR MARRIAGE IS FINE. 352 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,633 DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A LITTLE PRESUMPTUOUS OF YOU 353 00:17:52,633 --> 00:17:54,033 TO THINK THAT YOURS IS BETTER? 354 00:17:54,033 --> 00:17:56,533 - HIGHLY PRESUMPTUOUS. 355 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,333 - I NEVER SAID IT WAS BETTER. 356 00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:04,333 IT'S JUST, YOU CAN'T HELP NOTICING THINGS. 357 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,867 - LIKE ALL THE YELLING. 358 00:18:06,867 --> 00:18:08,833 - OH, WHAT? SO YOU THINK YOU'RE NOT GONNA YELL? 359 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:11,233 - AMY, THERE'S GONNA BE SCREAMS COMIN' OUT OF YOU, 360 00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:15,467 AND THEY WON'T BE BECAUSE YOU'RE ON MR. TOAD'S WILD RIDE. 361 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:26,200 - THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, ROBERT. 362 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,267 - HEY, LOOK, DON'T TALK ABOUT US, ALL RIGHT? 363 00:18:28,267 --> 00:18:29,567 WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, HUH? 364 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,233 WHY DON'T YOU TWO GO HOLD HANDS? 365 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,700 - YEAH, OVER EACH OTHER'S MOUTHS. 366 00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,133 - [laughs] 367 00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:37,600 YEAH, YEAH. GOOD ONE. 368 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,633 - YOU TRY TO HELP PEOPLE... 369 00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:40,467 - WELL, WHO ASKED YOU? 370 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,900 - JEALOUS! - YOU JERK. 371 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,567 - BAD HUSBAND! - YOU BIG BOOB! 372 00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:44,667 - WHOA! WHOA! 373 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:46,867 - NOT TODAY, MAN! THOSE DAYS ARE OVER! 374 00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:48,600 - MAKE IT TODAY! - THEY'RE OVER! 375 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,033 - LET'S MAKE IT TODAY. - THEY'RE OVER, BUDDY. 376 00:18:50,033 --> 00:18:55,833 - STOP IT! 377 00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:57,767 STOP IT! 378 00:18:57,767 --> 00:18:59,167 NOW SIT DOWN. 379 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,967 - [whispering] 380 00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,533 - SIT DOWN. 381 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,433 NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME. 382 00:19:08,433 --> 00:19:09,967 MAYBE YOU COULD ALL USE SOME ADVICE 383 00:19:09,967 --> 00:19:12,300 FROM SOMEONE WHO'S IN A POSITION TO GIVE IT. 384 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:14,600 - SEE WHAT YOU DID, AMY? 385 00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:19,200 - YOU THINK WE HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER? 386 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,467 WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 46 YEARS. 387 00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:24,833 WE'VE SEEN THE LOWS, AND WE'VE SEEN THE HIGHS. 388 00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:27,533 - WHAT DAY WAS THE HIGH? 389 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,200 - YOU TWO--YOU'RE NEWLYWEDS. YOU'RE IN LOVE. 390 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,467 GOD BLESS YOU, YOU KNOW NOTHING. 391 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,033 AND YOU TWO, YOU'RE ALWAYS FIGHTING, 392 00:19:45,033 --> 00:19:46,933 AND THE REASON YOU GET SO UPSET 393 00:19:46,933 --> 00:19:49,233 IS BECAUSE YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT. 394 00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:50,600 LOOK AT US. 395 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,467 THIS IS EXPERIENCE. THIS IS WISDOM. 396 00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:56,300 - THIS IS JUICY. 397 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,200 - YOU WANT SOME REAL MARRIAGE ADVICE? 398 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,200 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THE SECRET NOW. 399 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,933 THERE'S GONNA BE YELLING. 400 00:20:07,933 --> 00:20:10,333 THERE'S GONNA BE ANGER. 401 00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:13,300 DON'T FIGHT IT. ACCEPT IT. 402 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,200 YOU LOVE HIM. YOU HATE HIM. 403 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:19,267 HE DISGUSTS YOU. LOOK HOW HE EATS. 404 00:20:19,267 --> 00:20:24,333 YOU KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN, AND YOU PLOW THROUGH. 405 00:20:24,333 --> 00:20:26,467 - AMEN. 406 00:20:32,367 --> 00:20:34,633 - BUT, MARIE, YOU SAID "HATE." 407 00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:38,167 HOW CAN HATE HAVE ANY PLACE IN A MARRIAGE? 408 00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:41,333 - YOU MAKE ROOM. 409 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:44,167 THERE'S GONNA BE HATE. HATE IS REAL. 410 00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,333 MARRIAGE IS REAL. 411 00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,333 WE MIGHT FIGHT, BUT... 412 00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:50,700 WE'RE OKAY WITH EACH OTHER. 413 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:53,067 AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? WE'VE ENDURED. 414 00:20:53,067 --> 00:20:55,433 WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL, 415 00:20:55,433 --> 00:20:58,233 AND NOW... 416 00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:00,700 - WE'RE WAITING FOR DEATH. 417 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:11,167 - NOT THAT WE'RE IN A RUSH. 418 00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:12,300 - FAIR ENOUGH. 419 00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:15,333 - THAT'S A MARRIAGE. 420 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,800 - TO ROBERT AND AMY. 421 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,500 - TO RAY AND DEBRA. 422 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,100 - TO MARRIAGE. 423 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:33,300 - TILL DEATH DO US PART.