1 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:05,133 - I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME A DAY EARLY, HONEY. 2 00:00:05,633 --> 00:00:07,433 - ME TOO, MOM. 3 00:00:07,433 --> 00:00:10,600 I'M ALMOST LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,233 [doorbell rings] 5 00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:16,033 - [flat] OH, GOOD. THEY'RE HERE. 6 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:21,933 - HELLO, HUSBAND. 7 00:00:21,933 --> 00:00:24,233 - HELLO, WIFE. 8 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,833 - I MISSED YOU. 9 00:00:25,833 --> 00:00:27,133 - OH, I MISSED YOU TOO. 10 00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:28,600 - HEY, IT'S WINTER OUT HERE. 11 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,000 - OOH! I'M SORRY. COME IN. 12 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,933 - HELLO. - WELL, WELCOME. 13 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:35,900 - HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 14 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:37,133 - HOW ARE YOU? - HELLO. 15 00:00:37,133 --> 00:00:38,567 - HOW WAS THE DRIVE? [door closes] 16 00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:39,833 - LONG. 17 00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:42,967 BUT--BUT FUN 'CAUSE WE'RE JUST, 18 00:00:42,967 --> 00:00:47,067 "PENNSYLVANIA! CAN'T WAIT!" 19 00:00:47,067 --> 00:00:51,200 - GOOD DAY, FAIR BARONES... 20 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,133 ON THIS FESTIVAL OF THANKS AND GIVINGNESS. 21 00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:01,033 - WELL, HERE, LET ME TAKE YOUR COATS. 22 00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:04,833 - DON'T GO TOO FAR WITH THOSE. 23 00:01:04,833 --> 00:01:08,033 - DAD, BE A PERSON. 24 00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,900 - SORRY WE'RE SO LATE. 25 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:12,833 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. DINNER'S ALMOST READY. 26 00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:14,833 - I BROUGHT PIES FOR AFTER. 27 00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:16,967 - OH, THANK YOU, MARIE. 28 00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:22,633 - I MADE TWO IN CASE PEOPLE DON'T FILL UP ON DINNER. 29 00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:30,667 - WELL, WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE HAVE A SEAT? 30 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:35,233 - JUST POINT US TO THE ROOM WITH THE TV. 31 00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:38,400 - OH, WE DON'T OWN A TV. 32 00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:47,867 - I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 33 00:01:47,867 --> 00:01:50,933 - YOU KNOW, IT'S FINE, FRANK. WE'LL JUST TALK. 34 00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:54,233 - OH. - OH. 35 00:01:54,233 --> 00:01:56,867 - YOU CAN WARM YOURSELVES UP WITH SOME HOT CIDER. 36 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,333 - IS IT SPIKED? 37 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:02,333 - THERE'S CINNAMON. 38 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,800 - SO I DROVE HERE FOR HOT JUICE. 39 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,733 - AND, CHILDREN, WE ALSO HAVE 40 00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:13,033 THE MACDOUGALL FAMILY THANKSGIVING PAGEANT. 41 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:20,367 - THE--THE MACDOUGALL... WHAT? 42 00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:21,900 - OH, DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT TO YOU GUYS? 43 00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,000 THIS IS FUN. LISTEN TO THIS. 44 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,967 THIS IS GREAT. 45 00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:27,467 - WHEN PETER AND I WERE KIDS, 46 00:02:27,467 --> 00:02:29,500 WE USED TO PUT ON A PLAY ABOUT THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. 47 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:32,300 AND WE THOUGHT THAT, SINCE ALLY AND THE BOYS 48 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,367 WERE COMING THIS YEAR, 49 00:02:33,367 --> 00:02:35,100 WE COULD TRY IT AGAIN. 50 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:38,400 - DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN, KIDS? 51 00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:47,267 - YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE, LIKE, A LITTLE EMERGENCY TV? 52 00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,400 - THE KIDS CAN PLAY MOST OF THE PARTS, 53 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,467 AND PETER WILL REPRISE HIS ROLE AS... 54 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:58,067 - SQUANTO. 55 00:03:01,533 --> 00:03:03,800 - ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN, IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME, 56 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:07,100 I HAVE COSTUMES AND DECORATIONS. 57 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:11,533 AND CANDY. - OKAY! 58 00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:15,200 - OH, THEY'LL BE SO CUTE DOING THE PLAY. 59 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,000 - THIS IS GREAT. DINNER AND A SHOW! 60 00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:27,400 - YOU HAVE A RADIO? - RAY. 61 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,567 - WHAT? 62 00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,700 WHAT IF--WHAT IF THE PRESIDENT COMES ON 63 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,333 TO SAY THANKSGIVING'S BEEN CANCELED? 64 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:37,133 HOW ARE WE GOING TO HEAR THAT? 65 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,233 - HEY, THIS CHAIR AIN'T BAD. I TELL YOU SOMETHING. 66 00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:45,167 I COULD DO SOME SERIOUS NAPPING IN THIS THING. 67 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:46,933 - FRANK. - [snores] 68 00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:49,300 - COME ON, STOP IT. STOP IT. 69 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,700 - WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 70 00:03:57,033 --> 00:04:00,067 - DON'T GET MY DAD STARTED ON NAPS. 71 00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:04,367 - DON'T TELL ME-- HE'S MORALLY AGAINST 'EM. 72 00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:06,800 - OH, NO. HE LOVES NAPS. 73 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,100 RIGHT, DADDY? 74 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,633 - I DO. 75 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:10,967 BUT NEVER IN A CHAIR. 76 00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:14,733 I'M MORE OF A BED MAN. 77 00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:18,000 - INTERESTING. 78 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,333 LET ME ASK YOU, 79 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:22,267 DO YOU GO ALL THE WAY UNDER THE COVERS? 80 00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:23,900 - NO, NO. NO, NO, JUST ON TOP. 81 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,733 NOW, I MIGHT KICK OFF MY SHOES, 82 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:30,367 BUT THAT'S AS FAR AS IT GOES. 83 00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,100 - WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, IF I'M DOING A BED NAP, 84 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:38,500 I'M GETTING UNDER THE COVERS, BUT MY PANTS ARE NOT. 85 00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:42,100 - I'VE GOT PASTRY PUFFS. 86 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,533 - OH. - YEAH. 87 00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:47,867 - HEY, MOM, DAD AND FRANK ARE TALKING ABOUT NAPS. 88 00:04:47,867 --> 00:04:51,167 - OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL. 89 00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,367 - DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, HANK. 90 00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,300 TRY A NAP IN THE CHAIR SOMETIME. 91 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,933 - I MIGHT JUST DO THAT AFTER DINNER. 92 00:04:56,933 --> 00:05:01,100 - THERE YOU GO! 93 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,900 - WOULD YOU LIKE AN APPETIZER, MARIE? 94 00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:03,933 THEY'RE HOMEMADE. 95 00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:07,467 - OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 96 00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:09,600 - OH, BUT I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO TRY ONE. 97 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,633 EVERYONE SAYS YOU'RE THE BEST COOK THERE IS. 98 00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:20,700 - WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. 99 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:24,067 I'D LOVE TO TRY ONE. 100 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:30,033 MMM! I HAVE TO SAY, THAT'S MARVELOUS. 101 00:05:30,033 --> 00:05:31,700 - OH, THANK YOU. 102 00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:32,933 - SHE'S BEEN SO WORRIED 103 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,533 ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO THINK OF HER DINNER. 104 00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:39,367 - OH... WHO CARES WHAT I THINK? 105 00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:40,700 - MOM! 106 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,833 THE BOYS ARE PUTTING GLUE IN EACH OTHER'S HAIR. 107 00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:45,233 - OH, NO! 108 00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:47,600 - I'M SURPRISED IT TOOK THEM THIS LONG. 109 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,367 OKAY, SWEETIE, MOMMY WILL HELP YOU STICK 'EM TO THE WALL. 110 00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:53,033 - HOW GREAT IS THIS? ISN'T THIS GREAT? 111 00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:57,367 IT'S LIKE A FAMILY. 112 00:05:57,367 --> 00:06:00,000 - I HAVE MORE APPETIZERS IN THE KITCHEN. 113 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,500 - OH, I'LL COME WITH YOU. 114 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:05,333 I WANT TO SEE WHAT ELSE WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 115 00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:10,833 - DON'T PUT GLUE IN EACH OTHER'S HAIR. 116 00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:13,300 [thump] - WHAT WAS THAT? 117 00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:15,967 - SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING HIT THE HOUSE. 118 00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:18,733 [door opens] 119 00:06:18,733 --> 00:06:20,600 OH, IT'S A BIRD. 120 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,500 - IT MUST'VE FLOWN INTO THE WINDOW. 121 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,433 - OH. 122 00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:25,133 - OH, MAN. IT'S HURT. 123 00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:26,400 - OH, WHAT DO WE DO? 124 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,433 - DON'T SQUEEZE IT. BE CAREFUL. 125 00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:30,233 - UH, DON'T WORRY. I GOT IT. 126 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,467 - DON'T HOLD IT TOO TIGHT. 127 00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:33,867 I KNOW BIRDS. I BUILD BIRDHOUSES. 128 00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:35,133 - MAY I SEE IT? 129 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,933 [door shuts] 130 00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:38,733 OH, MY. 131 00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:41,567 LET ME HELP YOU. 132 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,800 - AW, POOR THING. 133 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,000 - HE MUST'VE GOTTEN CONFUSED OR SOMETHING. 134 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,833 - HEY, HEY, REMEMBER TWEETY? 135 00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:49,400 - YEAH. 136 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,067 - YEAH, WHEN WE WERE KIDS, 137 00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,600 WE HAD A COCKATIEL NAMED TWEETY. 138 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,600 - I TRAINED HIM SO WHEN I OPENED HIS CAGE, 139 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,833 HE'D FLY RIGHT UP ONTO MY SHOULDER. 140 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,767 HE THOUGHT I WAS A TREE. 141 00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:06,500 - HERE WE GO. - OH, HOW'S THE BIRD? 142 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,200 - OH, I TOOK CARE OF IT. 143 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,467 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 144 00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:10,300 - YOU KNOW-- 145 00:07:24,233 --> 00:07:25,133 - YOU KILLED THE BIRD? 146 00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:29,233 - I HAD TO PUT IT OUT OF ITS MISERY. 147 00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:32,833 - YOU MEAN, YOU ACTUALLY PUT IT TO DEATH? 148 00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,833 - IT WAS VERY QUICK. 149 00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:36,233 - HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? 150 00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:41,033 - OH, SHE'S VERY GOOD AT IT. 151 00:07:41,033 --> 00:07:43,200 - YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE? 152 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,600 - SURE. ALL THE TIME. 153 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,700 - WELL, ONLY WHEN THEY HIT THE HOUSE. 154 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,400 - I THINK, IF BIRDS KEEP FLYING INTO YOUR HOUSE, 155 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,433 YOU GOT TO WARN THEM SOMEHOW. 156 00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,867 - MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST COVER THE HOUSE WITH MATTRESSES, 157 00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:59,333 SO THE BIRDS BOUNCE OFF. 158 00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:08,067 - ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME, COCOA PUFFS? 159 00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:09,600 - OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 160 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,267 LET'S ALL TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND TRY TO REMEMBER 161 00:08:12,267 --> 00:08:15,133 THAT THE BIRD IS IN A BETTER PLACE. 162 00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:16,300 BIRDIE HEAVEN, 163 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,300 WHERE THE SEED IS FREE, 164 00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,967 AND EVERY BIRD GETS A WORM-- 165 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:24,400 NOT JUST THE EARLY ONES. 166 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:28,033 - SHE SHOULD TAKE YOU INTO THE KITCHEN. 167 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:34,033 - [stammers] EXCUSE ME, 168 00:08:34,033 --> 00:08:35,967 BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD COULDN'T BE SAVED? 169 00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:37,567 I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT A VETERINARIAN. 170 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:42,500 - NO, BUT I HAVE LIVED IN THE COUNTRY MY WHOLE LIFE. 171 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,367 - MOM GREW UP ON A FARM. 172 00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:48,067 - I BET THE CHICKENS SLEPT WITH ONE EYE OPEN. 173 00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:57,233 - IT'S FUNNY, ISN'T IT, MOTHER, 174 00:08:57,233 --> 00:08:59,233 HOW CITY FOLK REACT TO THIS TYPE OF THING? 175 00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:02,600 - THAT POOR BIRD WAS INNOCENTLY FLYING AROUND, 176 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,267 YOU KILL IT, YOU DON'T EVEN SEEM TO CARE. 177 00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:08,100 - IT'S NOT THAT WE DON'T CARE, MARIE. 178 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:10,033 IT'S JUST, OUT HERE, 179 00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:11,633 THERE ARE ANIMALS ALL AROUND US, 180 00:09:11,633 --> 00:09:13,967 AND SOMETIMES YOU DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE. 181 00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:17,433 - YES, LIKE WHEN A RODENT GETS INTO THE ROOT CELLAR, 182 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:21,000 YOU DON'T WANT TO BANG IT WITH A SHOVEL... 183 00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:29,500 BUT YOU DO. 184 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:33,267 - BONG! 185 00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:34,767 - YOU GOT NO RIGHT TO GO AROUND 186 00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:36,667 BUMPING OFF GOD'S CREATURES WILLY-NILLY. 187 00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:39,667 - WELL, LET'S REMEMBER, FRANK, GOD DID SAY, 188 00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:42,767 "LET MAN HAVE DOMINION OVER THE FISH OF THE SEA, 189 00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,267 "AND THE FOWL OF THE AIR, 190 00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:49,667 AND EVERY CREEPING THING THAT CREEPETH UPON THE EARTH." 191 00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:56,533 - YOU CREEPETH ME OUT. 192 00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:05,300 - YOU KNOW, FRANK, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING TO YOU. 193 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:09,367 IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU CARE MORE ABOUT ANIMALS 194 00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,233 THAN YOU DO ABOUT PEOPLE. 195 00:10:11,233 --> 00:10:12,900 - WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 196 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:15,367 - WELL, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU SHOW AS MUCH COMPASSION 197 00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:16,700 FOR ANY HUMAN BEING 198 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,800 AS YOU'VE JUST SHOWN FOR THAT BIRD. 199 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:22,267 AND EVEN THE WAY YOU TREAT EACH OTHER IS APPALLING. 200 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,733 - HEY, I THINK I KNOW A COUPLE OF FELLAS 201 00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:30,333 WHO COULD USE A NAP. 202 00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:35,567 - LISTEN, PAL, WE TELL IT LIKE IT IS. 203 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,600 SOMEBODY'S BOTHERING ME, I LET 'EM KNOW. 204 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,900 AND, YEAH, MAYBE THAT'S WHY I LIKE ANIMALS. 205 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,867 THEY TELL IT LIKE IT IS. 206 00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:46,100 WOOF! MOO! QUACK! 207 00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,367 THAT'S STRAIGHT SHOOTING. 208 00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:52,633 - SO YOU'RE LIKE AN ANIMAL. 209 00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:57,133 - [laughs] YES. 210 00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:58,467 - I'M HONEST. 211 00:10:58,467 --> 00:11:00,300 YOU DON'T LOVE YOUR FELLOW MAN. 212 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:01,500 YOU JUST PRETEND TO BE ALL NICEY-NICE, 213 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,467 SO YOU CAN GET A TICKET UPSTAIRS. 214 00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:06,300 - OH! 215 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:10,067 - OKAY, NOW IT'S A HOLIDAY. 216 00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:15,267 - WE WOULD NEVER PRETEND LIKE THAT. 217 00:11:15,267 --> 00:11:19,533 WE ALWAYS TRY TO SEE THE GOODNESS IN PEOPLE. 218 00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:23,133 EVEN WHEN IT'S VERY, VERY HARD. 219 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,433 - I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH MY HUSBAND. 220 00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:26,733 YOU CAN'T JUST PUT ON A SMILE 221 00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:28,533 AND PRETEND THAT PEOPLE ARE WONDERFUL. 222 00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:32,800 - YEAH, NOBODY REALLY-- - I'M TALKING NOW, FRANK. 223 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,300 I HAVE ALWAYS FELT 224 00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,400 THAT IF I'M GOING TO BE A LOVING HUMAN BEING, 225 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,700 I ALSO HAD TO BE COURAGEOUS ENOUGH 226 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,833 TO BE HONEST WITH PEOPLE. 227 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:44,233 BEING FAKE HELPS NO ONE. 228 00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:48,567 [stammers] WHAT IS THAT LOOK? 229 00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:50,633 - IT'S JUST-- WELL, I WAS THINKING 230 00:11:50,633 --> 00:11:52,467 ABOUT WHEN YOU SAID YOU MADE TWO PIES 231 00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:56,600 IN CASE PEOPLE DIDN'T FILL UP ON DINNER. 232 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,100 I DON'T THINK YOU WERE HAPPY 233 00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,567 TO BE SPENDING THANKSGIVING WITH US, 234 00:11:59,567 --> 00:12:01,700 BUT YOU COVERED YOUR TRUE FEELINGS 235 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:05,133 WITH A VEILED INSULT ABOUT MY COOKING. 236 00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:08,033 ISN'T THAT FAKE? 237 00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:14,700 - YOU KILLED A BIRD! 238 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:20,100 - MARIE, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST LET THE BIRD THING GO. 239 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,367 - WHOA, WHOA, AMY, LOOK, 240 00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:22,967 LET'S NOT GET SUCKED INTO THIS, OKAY? 241 00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:27,200 I MEAN, I'M NOT TAKING MY FAMILY'S SIDE. 242 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:32,100 - WELL, OF COURSE NOT. THEY'RE ACTING ALL NUTS. 243 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,267 - THEY'RE NUTS? 244 00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:35,933 - WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT 245 00:12:35,933 --> 00:12:39,367 WHEN A MAN BARKS AND QUACKS AT YOU? 246 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:42,200 - MY FATHER WAS BARKING AND QUACKING 247 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,033 BECAUSE HE WAS UPSET 248 00:12:44,033 --> 00:12:46,367 ABOUT THE PATH OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION 249 00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:50,467 THAT YOUR PARENTS HAVE CUT THROUGH THE ANIMAL COMMUNITY! 250 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,233 - THAT'S MY BOY! 251 00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:04,367 - THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN IF YOU HAVE A TV. 252 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,667 - THEN YOU MUST THINK I'M A MURDERER TOO. 253 00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,200 WHEN I WAS A KID, I USED TO CATCH FIELD MICE 254 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,200 TO FEED TO PETER'S PET SNAKE. 255 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,367 - [chomps ferociously] 256 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:17,033 - YOU CRAZY BASTARD. 257 00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,800 THEY'RE ALL KILLERS. 258 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,100 IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY. 259 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,200 - I WISH WE STILL HAD THAT SNAKE. 260 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,767 - FRANK! THEY WANT TO FEED US TO THE SNAKES! 261 00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:26,900 - ALL RIGHT. 262 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:28,033 JUST RELAX, YOU TWO, OKAY? 263 00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:32,133 NO SNAKE IS THAT HUNGRY. 264 00:13:33,933 --> 00:13:36,667 [kids imitate war whooping] - HEY, EVERYBODY! 265 00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,200 HERE THEY COME! 266 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,300 - WHAT'S THIS? - ISN'T THIS GREAT? 267 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,467 THERE'S A PART FOR EVERYBODY IN THE PLAY. 268 00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,467 - NOT ME. FORGET IT. 269 00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:47,400 - BUT, GRANDPA, YOU'RE THE INDIAN CHIEF. 270 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,233 - I SEE NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN OUR PLAY. 271 00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:54,033 - OH, YOU DON'T WANT ME IN YOUR PLAY? 272 00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:02,733 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 273 00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:03,833 WHAT'S HAPPENING? 274 00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:05,733 - NO TV. 275 00:14:05,733 --> 00:14:07,333 - DADDY, WE WANT YOU TO BE SQUANTO. 276 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:08,733 - WHAT? - YEAH, SQUANTO. 277 00:14:08,733 --> 00:14:09,867 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NO. 278 00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:11,233 [laughing] HOLD ON A SECOND. 279 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:15,033 NO, NO. I AM ALWAYS SQUANTO. 280 00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:18,600 OKAY? 281 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,500 - BUT WE WANT DADDY TO DO IT. 282 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:21,667 - YEAH, DADDY. 283 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:22,933 - KID, I ALWAYS DO IT. LET ME HAVE THE FEATHER. 284 00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:24,533 COME ON, LET ME HAVE THE FEATHER. 285 00:14:24,533 --> 00:14:26,600 - HEY, HEY, LEAVE THE KID. - LET ME HAVE THE FEATHER. 286 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,200 - HEY! 287 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,500 I'M SQUANTO! 288 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,733 YEAH. 289 00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:47,833 FEELS GOOD. 290 00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:50,967 HEAP GOOD. 291 00:14:50,967 --> 00:14:54,333 - FINE. 292 00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:58,633 I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR INTERPRETATION. 293 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:15,600 - MARIE, UH, WE THOUGHT YOU'D BE A PILGRIM. 294 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,733 SO IF YOU'LL JUST TAKE THE HAT... 295 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,867 - MAYBE THE PAGEANT ISN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA TODAY. 296 00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:33,000 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT'S THANKSGIVING! 297 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,467 - NO. LET'S JUST FORGET IT. 298 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,933 - NO! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, 299 00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:38,467 BUT CERTAIN PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM 300 00:15:38,467 --> 00:15:40,900 ARE VERY EXCITED ABOUT DOING THIS PLAY, OKAY? 301 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,600 SO WE'RE GOING TO DO IT. 302 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,067 - OH, DEBRA, DON'T YOU-- - DIT-DIT-DIT-DIT! 303 00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:48,567 WE'RE DOING THE PLAY. 304 00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:52,367 KIDS, LET'S GO. ALLY, SWEETIE. 305 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:58,333 - "THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. 306 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,067 "THE PILGRIMS LANDED AT PLYMOUTH ROCK 307 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,333 "IN THE WINTER OF 1620, 308 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,633 "LOOKING FOR FREEDOM AND A NEW LIFE. 309 00:16:03,633 --> 00:16:06,733 BUT THINGS WERE NOT EASY FOR THEM." 310 00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:11,433 - "THE WINTER IS SO VERY HARD. 311 00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:15,100 MANY OF OUR PEOPLE ARE DYING FROM COLD AND HUNGER." 312 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,500 - "BUT WE CAN'T FIND ANY FOOD." 313 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,800 - "WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CATCH FISH. 314 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,567 WHAT EVER WILL WE DO?" 315 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:27,400 - SHE SHOULD TRY STRANGLING A COUPLE OF BIRDS. 316 00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:41,267 - DID ANYONE HEAR SOME SAVAGES TALKING? 317 00:16:44,033 --> 00:16:45,400 - "A NATIVE AMERICAN NAMED SQUANTO 318 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,567 CAME TO THE PILGRIM VILLAGE." 319 00:16:52,933 --> 00:16:54,967 - "MY NAME IS SQUANTO"-- 320 00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:58,267 - OOH! RIVETING! 321 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,767 - "MY NAME IS SQUANTO. I COME IN PEACE." 322 00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:06,067 - "HELLO." - HEY. OH. 323 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,433 "HEY. HI. 324 00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:09,867 I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO LIVE OFF THIS LAND." 325 00:17:09,867 --> 00:17:14,500 - "SQUANTO TAUGHT THE PILGRIMS HOW TO CATCH FISH." 326 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,367 - [scoffs] 327 00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:34,033 IS ANYBODY BUYING THIS GUY AS SQUANTO? 328 00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:35,467 - YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE. 329 00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:39,267 HE HASN'T HAD A CHANCE TO EXERCISE LATELY. 330 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,433 - "CAN YOU ALSO TEACH US 331 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:49,033 TO PLANT CORN AND FORAGE FOR BERRIES?" 332 00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:52,667 - "YES, I CAN." 333 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,200 OH. EH. 334 00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,567 - "SQUANTO AND THE PILGRIMS BECAME FRIENDS, 335 00:18:09,567 --> 00:18:11,933 BUT SQUANTO'S TRIBE DID NOT LIKE THE SETTLERS." 336 00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:15,567 - THIS IS AN EXCELLENT PLAY. 337 00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:21,700 - "I THINK WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS WITH THE PILGRIMS 338 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,067 AND SIGN A PEACE TREATY." 339 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:25,100 - "YES, WE PROMISE TO PROTECT YOUR PEOPLE 340 00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,433 AND TREAT YOU WITH KINDNESS." 341 00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:31,233 - LIES. THEY'RE GOING TO SCREW US. 342 00:18:39,733 --> 00:18:43,933 - "THE PILGRIMS INVITED SQUANTO'S TRIBE TO A BIG FEAST. 343 00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:46,667 EVERYONE WAS HAPPY WHEN THE INDIAN CHIEF ARRIVED." 344 00:18:49,033 --> 00:18:53,767 - [flat] "WE'RE SO HAPPY." 345 00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,233 - "THEY EXCHANGED GIFTS, 346 00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:57,733 AND THE INDIAN CHIEF EMBRACED THE PILGRIM GOVERNOR." 347 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,700 [whispers] GRANDPA, EMBRACE HIM. 348 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:09,633 - LOOK, ALLY, SWEETIE, THIS WAS CUTE AND EVERYTHING, 349 00:19:09,633 --> 00:19:12,700 BUT NOW IT STINKS. 350 00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:13,867 - IT DOESN'T STINK! 351 00:19:13,867 --> 00:19:16,333 THIS PLAY IS A MACDOUGALL FAMILY TRADITION. 352 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:18,167 - YES, AND WE'VE SEEN OTHER KINDS OF TRADITIONS 353 00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:20,400 YOUR FAMILY ENJOYS. 354 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,733 - MARIE, PLEASE STOP ALREADY. 355 00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:24,567 - NO, NO. THAT'S OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? 356 00:19:24,567 --> 00:19:26,467 IT'S IMPORTANT TO GET EVERYTHING OUT IN THE OPEN. 357 00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:27,600 SO TELL ME, AMY, 358 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,800 WHAT ELSE DID YOU FEED THAT SNAKE, HUH? 359 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,667 STRAY DOGS? HITCHHIKERS? 360 00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:37,133 - OH, MY GOD. 361 00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:41,100 - YOUR FAMILY SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME! 362 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,467 - OKAY. 363 00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:46,200 OKAY. OKAY, ENOUGH. 364 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,167 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 365 00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:50,600 WHEN I LEFT THE ROOM, 366 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,700 EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING, AND IT WAS WONDERFUL. 367 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:54,800 IT SHOWED ME THAT OUR FAMILY COULD REALLY GET ALONG. 368 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,300 WHAT HAPPENED? 369 00:19:56,300 --> 00:20:01,100 - PAT THE PSYCHO CHOKED A BIRD WITH HER BARE HANDS. 370 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,600 - WHAT? 371 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,367 - A BIRD FLEW INTO THE WINDOW, AND IT WAS REALLY HURT. 372 00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:06,533 - AND SHE MURDERED IT. 373 00:20:06,533 --> 00:20:08,233 - SHE PUT IT OUT OF ITS MISERY. 374 00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:11,700 - OH, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED. 375 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:12,567 SO? 376 00:20:12,567 --> 00:20:14,000 - SO? - WELL, THANK YOU! 377 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,567 [overlapping arguments] 378 00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:18,467 - THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING ABOUT? 379 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,133 I MEAN, WHAT WAS PAT SUPPOSED TO DO? 380 00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:24,033 PERFORM SURGERY? 381 00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:27,667 - YOU HAVE NEVER LIKED US. 382 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:35,167 YOU TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY YOU CAN 383 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,133 TO GO AGAINST THE FAMILY. 384 00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:38,700 - WELL, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, 385 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,400 I CAN KIND OF SEE DEBRA'S POINT. 386 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,733 I MEAN, THE BIRD WAS INJURED. 387 00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,333 - OH, NOW YOU THINK THAT? 388 00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:47,167 WHEN DEBRA SAYS IT, YOU LISTEN. BUT WITH ME, YOU JUST FIGHT. 389 00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:51,167 WHAT IS WITH YOU? 390 00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,667 - IT'S A CONFUSING ISSUE! 391 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,233 - YOU'RE OUT OF THE FAMILY. 392 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:02,000 YOU, WHAT'S WITH YOUR WIFE? 393 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,567 - HE'S RIGHT. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE ON OUR SIDE? 394 00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,367 - IT'S NOT ABOUT TAKING SIDES, RAY! 395 00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:07,900 IT'S VERY SAD WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT BIRD, 396 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,000 BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING! 397 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,100 - THAT BIRD WAS ONE OF GOD'S CREATURES! 398 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:17,067 THE GOD THESE PEOPLE SUPPOSEDLY WORK FOR. 399 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,367 BUT APPARENTLY, THAT LIFE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO THEM. 400 00:21:19,367 --> 00:21:21,700 IT WAS JUST A BIRD. 401 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,000 WELL, MAYBE SO, 402 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,433 BUT I HAPPEN TO THINK 403 00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:26,700 HE DESERVED A LOT BETTER THAN HE GOT. 404 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:30,400 - OKAY, EVERYONE! 405 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,533 DINNER. 406 00:21:31,533 --> 00:21:34,000 - ALL RIGHT! BREAK ME OFF A LEG THERE! 407 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:38,767 [overlapping chattering] 408 00:21:38,767 --> 00:21:42,533 [peaceful piano tune]