1 00:00:02,933 --> 00:00:04,233 - HEY. 2 00:00:04,233 --> 00:00:06,533 - HI, ROBERT. - HEY. 3 00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:08,167 - LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GOT ME ANYTHING 4 00:00:08,167 --> 00:00:09,600 FOR MY BIRTHDAY YET, BUT-- 5 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,300 - WELL, I WAS GONNA BUY YOU A HAT, 6 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,867 BUT EVERY TIME I TOLD THEM YOUR HEAD SIZE, 7 00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:15,500 THEY'D HANG UP ON ME. 8 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:22,200 - TERRIFIC. 9 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,467 NO, ALL I WANT THIS YEAR IS THE PEACE OF MIND 10 00:00:24,467 --> 00:00:28,100 OF KNOWING THAT YOU AND YOURS ARE SECURE IN YOUR OWN HOME. 11 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:29,400 - WHAT? 12 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,200 - YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE NEWEST SALES REP 13 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,867 FOR CASTLEDOOR HOME SECURITY SYSTEMS. 14 00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:37,267 I'M GONNA BE MOONLIGHTING A FEW HOURS A WEEK. 15 00:00:37,267 --> 00:00:39,000 - REALLY? - YEAH, I THOUGHT I'D TRY 16 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,500 TO BRING HOME A LITTLE EXTRA CASH. 17 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,333 - OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT, ROBERT. 18 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,900 - CASTLEDOOR-- THAT'S THE AD WITH THE... 19 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:47,400 THE KING SLAMMIN' THE GATE ON THE MASKED ROBBER? 20 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,633 - YEAH. KING SAFE-N-SOUND. 21 00:00:51,633 --> 00:00:55,600 SO, I, UH, COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICING THAT, UH, 22 00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:00,167 YOU GUYS DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM. 23 00:01:00,167 --> 00:01:01,300 - [groans] 24 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,133 UH-HUH, OKAY, HERE WE GO. 25 00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:05,433 - [clears throat] 26 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,033 IN TODAY'S WORLD, IT IS A SAD FACT 27 00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:14,133 THAT MOST LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT 28 00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,400 CAN'T SEEM TO RESPOND TO AN EMERGENCY 29 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,833 AS QUICKLY AS ONE WOULD HOPE... 30 00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:24,767 SOMETIMES...NOT AT ALL. 31 00:01:27,133 --> 00:01:30,400 - YOU DO KNOW YOU'RE A POLICEMAN, RIGHT? 32 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,233 - WELL, RESEARCH SHOWS THAT WHEN A WOULD-BE INTRUDER 33 00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:37,700 SEES THE CASTLEDOOR SIGN POSTED ON THE FRONT LAWN... 34 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,767 HE MOVES ON. 35 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:44,333 - SOLD. WE'LL TAKE ONE OF THOSE SIGNS. 36 00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:46,300 - IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. 37 00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:47,633 - WELL, BUT IF THE GUY DOESN'T LOOK-- 38 00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:50,533 - DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, RAYMOND! 39 00:01:53,567 --> 00:01:56,200 - LISTEN, ROBERT, I MEAN, I KNOW CRIME IS BAD, 40 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,367 BUT DO WE REALLY WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY, 41 00:01:58,367 --> 00:01:59,767 YOU KNOW, ALWAYS BEING AFRAID, 42 00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:01,500 HIDING BEHIND AN ALARM? 43 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:24,300 WE'LL TAKE THIS ONE. 44 00:02:25,533 --> 00:02:28,233 - OKAY, SO YOU COULD SET THE DOOR ALARMS, 45 00:02:28,233 --> 00:02:31,067 OR THE MOTION SENSORS, OR BOTH AT ONCE. 46 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,433 IT'S UP TO YOU. 47 00:02:32,433 --> 00:02:35,467 YOU SEE, WITH CASTLEDOOR, YOU'RE THE KING. 48 00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:39,000 - I DON'T NEED AN ALARM 49 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,067 TO SCARE AWAY CROOKS FROM MY HOME. 50 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:43,400 I KEEP AN OLD BAT FOR THAT. 51 00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:48,700 - YOU BETTER WATCH IT, FRANK. ROBERT'S VERY PERSUASIVE. 52 00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:49,667 THIS IS HIS FIFTH SALE, 53 00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,300 AND HE'S ONLY BEEN AT IT A WEEK. 54 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,667 - ACTUALLY, I HAD AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION 55 00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:55,067 WITH MY BOSS TODAY. 56 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:58,800 - KING SAFE-N-SOUND? 57 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,267 - NO, HIS SON RICKY. 58 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:03,500 AND HE SAID HE'S LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY FULL-TIME, 59 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,733 AND HE WOULD LOVE FOR ME TO COME ABOARD. 60 00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:06,900 - REALLY? - YEAH. 61 00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:08,167 AND I BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT. 62 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:11,400 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 63 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,667 - YOU MEAN RETIRE FROM THE FORCE? 64 00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:16,067 - OH! WONDERFUL! 65 00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:18,300 OH, ROBBIE. 66 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:20,133 HOW LONG HAVE I WANTED TO GET YOU INTO 67 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,533 A SAFE, NORMAL JOB, HONEY? 68 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:23,833 HOW LONG? 69 00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:25,433 - OH, A LONG TIME, MA. 70 00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:27,400 - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? 71 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,133 I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BIRTHDAY AT OUR HOUSE THIS YEAR. 72 00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:33,667 I'LL MAKE A BIG PARTY. - WAIT, MARIE. 73 00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:35,167 ROBERT, I'M A LITTLE SURPRISED 74 00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,567 TO HEAR YOU TALKING ABOUT RETIREMENT. 75 00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:38,467 - WHY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 76 00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:41,267 - MARIE, I KNOW THE JOB CAN BE DANGEROUS. 77 00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:42,467 I WANT HIM TO BE SAFE. 78 00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:44,600 BUT I ALSO WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. 79 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,400 ROBERT, YOU LOVE BEING A POLICE OFFICER. 80 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,333 - WELL, SURE, I DO, SWEETIE. YOU KNOW THAT. 81 00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:52,033 IT'S JUST... 82 00:03:52,033 --> 00:03:54,033 WHAT DOES EVERYBODY ELSE THINK? 83 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,800 - I THINK YOU SHOULD RETIRE NOW. 84 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,900 I MEAN, WE CAN'T HAVE POLICEMEN RUNNING AROUND 85 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,500 THAT ARE FRANK'S AGE. 86 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:03,667 - I'LL FIGHT ANY ONE OF YOU NOW. 87 00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:10,933 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 88 00:04:10,933 --> 00:04:12,333 I THINK IT'S A BIG DECISION, 89 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:15,800 AND YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND MAKE IT YOURSELF. 90 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:20,133 - YEAH, HEY, MAYBE EVERYBODY SHOULD GO HOME. 91 00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:24,233 - ROBERT, YOU'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT WEARING THAT UNIFORM 92 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,400 GIVES YOU SUCH SELF-CONFIDENCE. 93 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,900 YOU KNOW HOW EVERY DAY YOU PUT ON THAT BADGE 94 00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:33,567 AND SQUAT DOWN TO LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR. 95 00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:36,733 - BUT HE'S SUCH A GREAT ALARM SALESMAN. 96 00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:40,233 YOU HEARD WHAT RICKY SAFE-N-SOUND SAID. 97 00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:41,933 - MARIE, PLEASE. 98 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:44,467 - I'M JUST TALKING. 99 00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:46,233 SINCE WHEN IS THERE A LAW 100 00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:48,533 AGAINST ME EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS? 101 00:04:48,533 --> 00:04:53,567 - I'VE BEEN TRYING TO PASS THAT LEGISLATION FOR YEARS. 102 00:04:56,733 --> 00:04:59,700 - MARIE, YOU CAN SAY HOW YOU FEEL, 103 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,300 BUT I'M ALSO SAYING HOW I FEEL. 104 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:05,100 - AND YOU FEEL THAT ROBERT SHOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME. 105 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,667 - ROBERT HAS BEEN LISTENING TO YOU. 106 00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:08,433 I THINK MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE'S TALKING ABOUT 107 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,800 RETIRING SO EARLY-- TO MAKEYOUHAPPY. 108 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,133 - THAT IS NOT TRUE. 109 00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:14,333 IS THAT TRUE, ROBBIE? 110 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:15,833 TELL HER IT'S NOT TRUE. 111 00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,933 TELL HER RIGHT NOW. 112 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:20,167 TELL HER. 113 00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:21,333 - I DON'T KNOW. 114 00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:23,033 IT'S--IT'S, UH... 115 00:05:23,033 --> 00:05:26,333 WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? 116 00:05:26,333 --> 00:05:31,500 - ROBERT, IF YOU WANT TO RETIRE, RETIRE. 117 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:35,067 I WANT YOU TO DO WHATEVER MAKESYOUHAPPY. 118 00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:37,533 - I THINK RETIRING WOULD MAKE HIM HAPPY. 119 00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:39,567 YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME 120 00:05:39,567 --> 00:05:42,633 WHEN PEOPLE CARED ABOUT WHAT I THINK. 121 00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:51,000 - YOU KNOW, ROBERT, I THINK I WANT TO HAVE 122 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,167 YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY AT OUR PLACE. 123 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:04,367 - UM... 124 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:06,767 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 125 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,500 WE'LL HAVE TWO PARTIES-- 126 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:13,000 THAT ONE AND THE OFFICIAL ONE. 127 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:19,333 - IS THAT OKAY? 128 00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,167 - MARIE, WITH ALL THE TENSION, 129 00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:22,667 I THINK WE'VE LOST SIGHT OF THE FACT 130 00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:25,700 THAT IT'S GETTING VERY CLOSE TO MY DINNERTIME. 131 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,800 - OKAY. FINE. 132 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:32,333 I'M NOT FEELING VERY COMFORTABLE HERE ANYWAY. 133 00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:35,200 OH, ROBERT, I JUST WANT TO SAY, 134 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,933 YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TRUST 135 00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:39,067 THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD. 136 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:43,367 IS YOUR LITTLE VOICE SAYING, "RETIRE," 137 00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:48,833 OR IS IT SAYING, "DON'T RETIRE"? 138 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,733 LISTEN CAREFULLY. 139 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,867 - A LONG TIME AGO, MY LITTLE VOICE 140 00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:03,100 TOLD ME NOT TO DO SOMETHING... 141 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,667 BUT I DID IT ANYWAY. 142 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:10,733 NOW I'M STUCK WITH A GREAT BIG VOICE. 143 00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:23,067 - WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR AFTER-MARIE LIQUOR? 144 00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,433 - WE DON'T HAVE ANY LIQUOR; WE DON'T-- 145 00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:30,567 - TOP CABINET, BEHIND THE CREAM OF WHEAT. 146 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,900 [alarm beeping] 147 00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:40,033 - OH, STUPID IDIOT. 148 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,500 [beeping stops] 149 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,567 - WELL, WHAT SET IT OFF THIS TIME? 150 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,633 - I DON'T KNOW. 151 00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:53,833 I THINK I PUT MY SOCKS ON TOO LOUD. 152 00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:56,433 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU AGREED TO THROW A BIRTHDAY PARTY 153 00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:58,200 FOR THE GUY WHO'S RUINING OUR LIVES. 154 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,667 [door opens] 155 00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,100 - HI. - HEY. 156 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:04,367 [alarm wailing] - UGH! 157 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:09,067 IT'S STILL DOING IT, ROBERT, 158 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,133 MOTION SENSORS STILL GOING OFF 159 00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:11,433 FOR NO REASON AT ALL. 160 00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,867 - YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THE EXCALIBUR 2000 161 00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:15,200 CAN BE A LITTLE BUGGY. 162 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,833 YOU KNOW, FOR JUST AN EXTRA $24.99 A MONTH, 163 00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:19,500 I COULD INSTALL AN UPGRADE. 164 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,433 - YEAH, HOW ABOUT I INSTALL MY FOOT RIGHT UP YOUR-- 165 00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:25,733 - RAY! 166 00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:36,567 both: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNCLE ROBERT. 167 00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:41,567 - THEY FIGURED OUT HOW TO DODGE THE MOTION SENSORS. 168 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,733 - SO, DEBRA... 169 00:08:43,733 --> 00:08:46,167 I DIDN'T GET TO HEAR YOUR OPINION YESTERDAY. 170 00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:47,700 DO YOU THINK I SHOULD RETIRE? 171 00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:48,967 - ROBERT. 172 00:08:48,967 --> 00:08:51,333 HE'S BEEN ASKING EVERYONE WHAT HE SHOULD DO. 173 00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:53,733 HE TALKED TO ANDY AND GIANNI, HIS PARTNER JUDY, 174 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:58,567 THE GUY SHE WAS HANDCUFFING. 175 00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:05,467 - I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S AN IMPORTANT DECISION, 176 00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:07,967 AND EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT OPINION. 177 00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,567 - YOU'RE ONLY ASKING EVERYONE 178 00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:12,100 'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO BE MAD AT YOU! 179 00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:16,000 - YEAH, HOW'S THAT GOIN'? 180 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,500 - THIS IS RIDICULOUS. - WELL, I AGREE. 181 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,833 AND I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. 182 00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:22,667 I DON'T THINK ROBERT SHOULD RETIRE. 183 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:26,133 - SEE? SHE AGREES WITH ME, AND SHE'S THE NORMAL BARONE. 184 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,433 - UH, TECHNICALLY, I'M NOT A BARONE. 185 00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:32,200 - HOW ABOUT YOU, RAY? CARE TO WEIGH IN? 186 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,133 - YEAH, I-I THINK YOU STINK AT EVERYTHING. 187 00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:37,100 FIX MY ALARM! 188 00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,167 - LET'S JUST DO THIS, FRANK. 189 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:42,600 - WHY DOESN'T THE ALARM GO OFFNOW? 190 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:43,933 - HELLO. - HELLO. 191 00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,700 - YOUR MOTHER WOULDN'T WRAP YOUR PRESENT, 192 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,767 SO I PUT IT IN A COAT. 193 00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,933 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 194 00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:53,433 YOU DON'T GET THE COAT. 195 00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:56,933 - LISTEN, MA AND AMY, I WANT TO THANK YOU 196 00:09:56,933 --> 00:09:58,533 FOR COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY, 197 00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:00,600 AND I HOPE WE CAN HAVE A GOOD DAY. 198 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,767 MAYBE A DAY TO RELAX AND REMEMBER-- 199 00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:04,800 [alarm beeping] 200 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,233 - HOLY CRAP! - COME ON! 201 00:10:06,233 --> 00:10:08,800 WE'RE NOT ROBBERS! WE LIVE HERE! 202 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,200 WE-- 203 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,433 OKAY, LOOK, JUST SHUT IT DOWN. 204 00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:15,400 SHUT THE WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM DOWN. 205 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,633 - ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 206 00:10:16,633 --> 00:10:18,700 I'LL PUT IN AN OVERRIDE CODE. 207 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:21,867 NOBODY LOOK. 208 00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:25,800 - FRANK, DON'T YOU WANT TO TELL ROBERT SOMETHING? 209 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,200 - OH, YEAH. 210 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,667 I THINK YOU SHOULD RETIRE. 211 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,767 - COME ON, FRANK. 212 00:10:31,767 --> 00:10:35,433 - I'M SORRY, BUT MARIE IS MY WIFE, 213 00:10:35,433 --> 00:10:37,733 AND IF I CAN'T SUPPORT HER IN THIS, 214 00:10:37,733 --> 00:10:38,967 THEN SHE'LL BE LIKE 215 00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:43,733 AN ICE-PICK IN MY EAR UNTIL I DIE. 216 00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:51,733 [doorbell rings] 217 00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:52,900 - CAREFUL. 218 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:55,333 - UH, AM I ALLOWED TO OPEN IT? 219 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:58,067 - THE DRAWBRIDGE IS DOWN. 220 00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:02,467 - HELLO. - OH, HEY, HI. 221 00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:05,300 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROBERT. 222 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,000 - HI, MOM AND DAD. 223 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,633 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 224 00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:11,167 - I INVITED THEM BECAUSE I WANTED THEM 225 00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:13,267 TO BE HERE FOR ROBERT'S PARTY. 226 00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,167 - IS SOMETHING WRONG? 227 00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:25,700 - NO. IT'S A PARTY. 228 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:34,200 - ALL RIGHT, ACTUALLY, I'M-- I'M TRYING TO DECIDE 229 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,533 WHETHER I SHOULD RETIRE FROM THE FORCE OR NOT. 230 00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:38,133 YOU KNOW, AND EVERYBODY, OF COURSE, 231 00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:40,400 HAS ALL SORTS OF OPINIONS, AND, YOU KNOW-- 232 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,700 WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO? 233 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:44,900 - YOU'RE INVOLVING THEM IN YOUR DECISION? 234 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,233 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? 235 00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:48,533 I THINK THEY COULD BRING A FRESH PERSPECTIVE. 236 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,300 - I THINK HE SHOULD RETIRE. 237 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,767 - WHAT? NO. MOM! 238 00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:55,133 HE'S ONLY THINKING OF RETIRING 239 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,333 BECAUSE IT'S WHAT SHE WANTS HIM TO DO. 240 00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:59,300 - OH, BUT, HONEY, BEING A POLICE OFFICER 241 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:00,867 IS SUCH A DANGEROUS JOB. 242 00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:04,300 I WOULD THINK YOU WOULD WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM. 243 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:10,000 - THAT'S A LOVELY BLOUSE, PAT. 244 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,400 - I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. 245 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,767 MOM, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SAFETY. 246 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,633 IT'S ABOUT WHAT ROBERT WANTS TO DO-- 247 00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:18,033 - SWEETIE, YOU'RE RAISING YOUR VOICE. 248 00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:21,633 WE DON'T DO THAT. 249 00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:27,333 - TOO LATE, LADY. SHE'S ONE OF US NOW. 250 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,567 - WELL, YOU KNOW, WHAT I THINK-- 251 00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:35,967 [alarm beeping] OH, SOMEONE, HELP! 252 00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:37,100 - PIECE OF JUNK! 253 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,567 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 254 00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:41,933 IT'S--IT'S NOT ACCEPTING MY OVERRIDE CODE! 255 00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:44,067 I PUT IN THE CODE... IT'S... 256 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,200 [beeping stops] 257 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,133 - WHERE'S THAT IN THE MANUAL? 258 00:12:56,133 --> 00:13:00,133 - YOU MIGHT WANT TO CALL TECH SUPPORT. 259 00:13:00,133 --> 00:13:02,900 AND MAYBE GET ME A BUCKET OF ICE. 260 00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:06,900 - I DIDN'T GET ROBBED TILL I GOT AN ALARM. 261 00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:09,867 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT, NOW, UNTIL TECH SUPPORT GETS HERE, 262 00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:12,400 I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK EVERYBODY NOT TO MOVE AT ALL. 263 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,467 FREEZE! 264 00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:19,900 - I WAS GOING TO SAY, 265 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:24,933 BEFORE THAT ALARM SET MY HEART INTO ARRHYTHMIA... 266 00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:28,167 THAT I DON'T THINK ROBERT SHOULD RETIRE. 267 00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:29,767 - THANK YOU, DADDY. 268 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,100 - NO MOVING, PLEASE! 269 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:36,167 - YOU SEE, I RESPECT WHAT YOU DO, ROBERT. 270 00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:38,100 - OH. THANK YOU, SIR. 271 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:39,300 - AND I ENJOY TELLING PEOPLE 272 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,333 THAT MY SON-IN-LAW IS A POLICEMAN, 273 00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:43,767 BUT IF YOU WERE TO RETIRE... 274 00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:49,433 WELL, I GUESS I COULD STILL TALK ABOUT YOUR UNUSUAL HEIGHT. 275 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,100 - [sighs] 276 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,767 - WHAT'S THAT, MOTHER? 277 00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,867 - NOTHING. 278 00:13:57,867 --> 00:14:00,367 IT'S JUST THAT YOU HEARD HOW CONCERNED I WAS 279 00:14:00,367 --> 00:14:02,933 ABOUT HOW HIS DECISION WOULD AFFECT AMY, 280 00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:06,067 AND I DON'T SEE WHY YOU COULDN'T JUST SUPPORT ME. 281 00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:08,733 - WE'LL DISCUSS THIS LATER. 282 00:14:08,733 --> 00:14:09,900 - OKAY. 283 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:14,300 BUT WE WON'T. 284 00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:18,033 - SO I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO GO ALONG WITH YOU, 285 00:14:18,033 --> 00:14:20,967 NO MATTER HOW I FEEL? 286 00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:24,567 - I DO IT FOR YOU. 287 00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:26,333 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - STOP IT! 288 00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:34,233 - WELL, I DON'T ALWAYS LIKE THE VACATIONS WE HAVE TO TAKE. 289 00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:38,967 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG? 290 00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:41,033 - WE GO THERE EVERY YEAR. 291 00:14:41,033 --> 00:14:45,433 THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING NEW. 292 00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:51,100 AND I HATE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU, 293 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:55,433 THERE NEVER WILL BE. 294 00:14:57,733 --> 00:15:00,133 - THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO GRAND. 295 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,967 - YES, FOR YOU. 296 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:05,900 AND I GO ALONG WITH WHAT YOU WANT AND I NEVER SAY A WORD. 297 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:11,433 - TAKE NOTES, MARIE. 298 00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:13,533 - MY HUSBAND IS AS STUBBORN AS AN OX TOO. 299 00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:14,967 BUT AT LEAST ON THIS ISSUE, 300 00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:20,100 HE KNEW ENOUGH TO STAY IN LINE. 301 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,067 - "STAY IN LINE"? 302 00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:23,900 HEY, I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. 303 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,133 - OF COURSE YOU DO, FRANK. 304 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,167 - THAT'S IT! 305 00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:30,200 ROBERT, YOU SHOULD STAY A COP! 306 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,967 IN FACT, YOU SHOULD BE A MOTORCYCLE COP. 307 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,833 WITH NO HELMET. 308 00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:41,233 IN FACT, YOU SHOULD RIDE AN EVEL KNIEVEL ROCKET-CYCLE. 309 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,667 - STOP IT, FRANK! 310 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,833 YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO CAUSE TROUBLE. 311 00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:46,267 THAT'S ALL YOU EVER DO. 312 00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:49,400 [alarm beeping] OH! OH, MY... 313 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,067 - JEEZALOO! I'M SORRY! 314 00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:53,600 THIS ONE SOUNDS JUST LIKE MARIE! 315 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,867 - OH. 316 00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,267 - YEAH, I SPOKE TO TECH SUPPORT. 317 00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:58,767 THEY SAID I SHOULD SLAM YOUR HEAD INTO IT! 318 00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,700 - WHO DID YOU GET OVER THERE? 319 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,233 - NEVER MIND THAT, ROBERT! 320 00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,900 THE POINT IS THAT MOST OF US 321 00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,433 THINK YOU SHOULD RETIRE. 322 00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:07,200 - THAT'S NOT TRUE, MARIE! I NEVER SAID THAT-- 323 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,433 - OH, GREAT. NOW SHE'S GOIN' OFF. 324 00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:10,000 - RAY, THIS IS IMPORTANT! 325 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,433 - IT'S NOT FOR US TO DECIDE. 326 00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:13,267 ROBERT'S WOMEN GOT HIM SCREWED UP ENOUGH. 327 00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:14,767 - OH. EXCUSE ME? 328 00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:16,033 - I'M NOT SCREWING HIM UP. 329 00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:18,033 - THIS IS PART OF BEING A FAMILY, RAY! 330 00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:19,867 - OH, MY GOD! ROBERT, COME WITH ME. 331 00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:21,033 YOU IDIOT, COME HERE. 332 00:16:21,033 --> 00:16:23,200 - OH, MY...OOH. 333 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,567 CAN'T SOMEBODY STOP IT? 334 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,233 - TAKE THIS WHOLE SYSTEM OUT. 335 00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:27,933 - NO, IT'S... 336 00:16:27,933 --> 00:16:30,500 IT GIVES YOU A HEADACHE. WOW. 337 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,433 [beeping stops] 338 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:41,800 - WOW. THAT WAS EASY. 339 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:46,200 I SHOULD'VE MARRIED THIS. 340 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,600 - OKAY, LOOK, YOU GOT TO MAKE A DECISION, ALL RIGHT? 341 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,867 'CAUSE YOU GOT EVERYBODY MAD AT EVERYBODY, 342 00:16:57,867 --> 00:16:59,933 AND INNOCENT BYSTANDERS ARE GETTING YELLED AT 343 00:16:59,933 --> 00:17:01,633 BY THEIR MEAN WIFE DEBRA. 344 00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:04,467 NOW, YOU--YOU GOT TO MAKE A DECISION. 345 00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:06,667 YOU...NOW. 346 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:09,733 - I CAN'T DO IT MYSELF, ALL RIGHT? 347 00:17:09,733 --> 00:17:11,467 MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE ALWAYS LET OTHER PEOPLE 348 00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:13,433 MAKE THE BIG DECISIONS FOR ME. 349 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,267 YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD, YEAH? 350 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,700 WELL, MINE JUST KEEPS GOING, 351 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,133 [high pitched] "WHAT'RE YOU ASKING ME FOR? 352 00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:21,833 WHAT'RE YOU ASKING ME FOR?" 353 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:27,500 - SO--SO YOUR LITTLE VOICE IS AN EFFEMINATE MOUSE? 354 00:17:29,233 --> 00:17:30,333 ALL RIGHT, COME ON. 355 00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:31,633 COME ON, YOU'VE... 356 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:34,033 YOU'VE MADE DECISIONS ON YOUR OWN. 357 00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:35,667 YOU HAVE. 358 00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:38,700 LIKE, OKAY, NOBODY KNEW YOU WERE GONNA ASK YOUR FIRST WIFE 359 00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,767 TO MARRY YOU, RIGHT? 360 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,133 - THAT'S TRUE. 361 00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:43,200 - I DECIDED ALL ON MY OWN TO MARRY A WOMAN 362 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,933 WHO THEN DUMPED ME FOR A GUY I ARRESTED. 363 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,133 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 364 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,300 I SHOULD TRUST MY KEEN INSTINCT. 365 00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,733 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT AMY? 366 00:17:51,733 --> 00:17:53,433 - OH, YEAH, I LOVE AMY, 367 00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:56,633 BUT I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN HAD THE GUTS TO ASK HER TO MARRY ME 368 00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:58,867 IF I DIDN'T FEEL THAT PRESSURE FROM EVERYONE ELSE. 369 00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:00,500 THERE'S NO WAY. 370 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:01,900 - WELL... 371 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:03,933 [sighs] 372 00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:06,767 MA, WE CAN SEE YOUR FEET. 373 00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:13,000 [door closes] 374 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,167 - GOD, SHE HAS BEEN ON ME SINCE THE DAY I SIGNED UP. 375 00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:17,700 [imitating Marie] "DON'T GO. 376 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:23,767 YOU'RE WAY TOO BIG A TARGET." 377 00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,267 - SO WAIT A MINUTE... 378 00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:27,033 DAD DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE A COP EITHER, RIGHT? 379 00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:28,533 - ARE YOU KIDDING? 380 00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,533 HE WANTED ME TO WORK AT THE CARVEL ICE CREAM STORE 381 00:18:30,533 --> 00:18:35,833 SO HE COULD GET FREE FUDGIE THE WHALES. 382 00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:40,667 - SO--SO YOU JOINED THE FORCE BY YOURSELF? 383 00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,567 - YEAH, I GUESS. 384 00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:44,867 - WELL, I'D SAY THAT'S A PRETTY BIG DECISION, 385 00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:45,933 WOULDN'T YOU, HUH? 386 00:18:45,933 --> 00:18:47,733 I MEAN, JUST OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL. 387 00:18:47,733 --> 00:18:50,200 MOM DIDN'T WANT YOU TO JOIN, DAD DIDN'T WANT YOU TO JOIN. 388 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,067 I'M SURE I WAS NO HELP. 389 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:54,833 - YOU JUST KEPT ASKING ME IF I'D BE WORKING UNDERCOVER 390 00:18:54,833 --> 00:19:00,033 AS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST TRANSVESTITE. 391 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,067 - [chuckles] 392 00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:10,300 I SAID THAT? THAT'S FUNNY. 393 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,500 OKAY, BUT YOU DID IT ANYWAY, 394 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:17,000 AND I WOULD SAY THAT IT WORKED-- 395 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,700 25 YEARS. 396 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,067 - 27. 397 00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:21,300 - OKAY, SO... 398 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,867 - SO IF YOU CAN DECIDE TO BECOME A COP, 399 00:19:22,867 --> 00:19:25,333 WHY CAN'T YOU DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO STAY ONE, HUH? 400 00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:27,333 GOD, IT'S YOUR LIFE, MAN. 401 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:31,733 SO COME ON, WHAT DO YOU DEEP DOWN REALLY WANT TO DO? 402 00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:33,600 - OKAY. 403 00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:45,067 I WANT TO DANCE. 404 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,300 - WHAT? 405 00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:57,433 - DANCING. I'M A GOOD DANCER. 406 00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:59,300 - NO, NO, ROBERT, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE A DANCER. 407 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:00,533 - WELL, YOU SAID DEEP DOWN. 408 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,033 - OKAY, BUT YOU'RE IN YOUR 40s. 409 00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,167 IT'S TIME TO GO A LITTLE LESS DEEP. 410 00:20:04,167 --> 00:20:05,167 - CHOREOGRAPHER? 411 00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:06,500 - NO, ROBERT! COME ON! 412 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,367 STOP TRYING TO AVOID MAKING A DECISION! 413 00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:10,133 YOU WANT TO BE A COP, OR DO YOU WANT TO BE AN ALARM SALESMAN? 414 00:20:10,133 --> 00:20:11,567 - I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 415 00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:14,800 - NO! NO! 416 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,933 A COP... 417 00:20:16,933 --> 00:20:21,467 OR AN ALARM SALESMAN. 418 00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:22,967 - UM... 419 00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:26,433 - OKAY, LOOK, LOOK, JUST FINISH THIS SENTENCE-- 420 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,433 I'M A... 421 00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:31,700 - COP. 422 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:34,300 - OKAY. GOOD. 423 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,067 NOW, WHY'D YOU SAY, "I'M A COP"? 424 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:40,533 - BECAUSE YOU SAID, "I'M A"AND NOT, "I'M AN." 425 00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:49,467 - OKAY, ALL RIGHT, BUT... 426 00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:52,100 BUT YOU WANT TO BE A COP, RIGHT? 427 00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:53,600 - WELL, IT'S OBVIOUS YOU WANT ME TO. 428 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,233 WILL YOU--NO-- ALL RIGHT, LOOK, 429 00:20:55,233 --> 00:20:57,033 JUST FINISH THIS SENTENCE-- "MY OCCUPATION--" 430 00:20:57,033 --> 00:20:59,033 - TOO LATE. I'M A COP. 431 00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,033 - OKAY, BUT YOU DECIDED IT. 432 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,767 - YEAH. 433 00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:08,533 I'M A COP. 434 00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:11,000 - YES, YOU ARE. 435 00:21:15,633 --> 00:21:20,367 UH... 436 00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:23,700 OKAY. 437 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,267 - MA! 438 00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:32,133 MA, I'M GONNA STAY A COP. 439 00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,700 RAYMOND SAID I SHOULD. 440 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,233 [door shuts] 441 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:44,233 - OH, ALL RIGHT, JUST TAKE IT EASY. 442 00:21:44,233 --> 00:21:46,433 LISTEN, MA... 443 00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:48,133 JUST... 444 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:50,000 I STOPPED HIM FROM BEING A DANCER. 445 00:21:53,067 --> 00:21:55,667 ROBERT, TRIP THE ALARM!