1 00:00:01,933 --> 00:00:03,000 - HEY! 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,400 HEY! HOW WAS THE GAME? 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,667 - OH, IT WAS GOOD, YEAH. KNICKS FINALLY WON. 4 00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:07,700 THE TWINS LOVED IT. 5 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:10,233 OH, AND THEIR NEW BUDDY CHRIS THERE-- 6 00:00:10,233 --> 00:00:12,467 HE'S MY NEW FAVORITE OF THEIR FRIENDS, YEAH. 7 00:00:12,467 --> 00:00:16,100 HELLO, CHRIS. GOOD-BYE, SPENCER. 8 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,067 - THAT'S GREAT. SO WHERE ARE THE BOYS? 9 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:21,133 - OH, THEY'RE GONNA HITCHHIKE HOME FROM THE STRIP CLUB. 10 00:00:25,867 --> 00:00:29,300 NO, THEY TOOK CHRIS NEXT DOOR. THEY'RE SHOOTIN' HOOPS. 11 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,033 - WHO IS THIS CHRIS? HAVE I MET HIM? 12 00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:33,567 - OH, HE'S ADORABLE. HIS DAD WORKS AT THE SCHOOL. 13 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,433 - OH, YEAH? WHAT SUBJECT DOES HE TEACH? 14 00:00:35,433 --> 00:00:38,200 - HE'S NOT A TEACHER. ACTUALLY, HE'S THE CUSTODIAN. 15 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,233 - OH, REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 16 00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,700 AH, THAT'S FUNNY. 17 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:42,733 - WHY? 18 00:00:42,733 --> 00:00:44,267 - NO, NO, 'CAUSE, UH... 19 00:00:44,267 --> 00:00:46,300 WE WERE EATING PEANUTS, AND I LOOKED DOWN, 20 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,000 AND LITTLE CHRIS HAD ALL THE SHELLS ON HIS LAP, 21 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,400 AND I SAID, "HEY, CHRIS, YOU CAN THROW THOSE ON THE FLOOR. 22 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,067 THAT'S WHAT THEY PAY THE JANITOR FOR." 23 00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:54,267 [all gasp] 24 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:56,300 - OH, MY GOD! 25 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,533 RAYMOND, HOW COULD YOU? 26 00:00:58,533 --> 00:00:59,700 - WHAT? 27 00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:01,300 - OH, MY GOD, RAY, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? 28 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,633 THAT POOR BOY MUST BE DEVASTATED. 29 00:01:03,633 --> 00:01:05,933 [all talking at once] 30 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,200 - NO, NO! WAIT A MINUTE! 31 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,267 WAIT A MINUTE. EVERYBODY CALM DOWN. 32 00:01:09,267 --> 00:01:10,633 I DIDN'T DEVASTATE ANYBODY. 33 00:01:10,633 --> 00:01:12,967 IT WAS TOTALLY FINE. IT WAS A JOKE. 34 00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:15,967 THE KID LAUGHED, HE--HE THREW HIS SHELLS ON THE FLOOR, 35 00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:17,167 AND THEN WE WATCHED THE GAME, 36 00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:19,300 AND WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 37 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:22,133 - RAYMOND, YOU'RE A LOVELY BOY. 38 00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:25,033 BUT THIS IS WHY SOMETIMES WHEN YOU TALK, 39 00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:28,600 MY HEART GOES INTO MY THROAT. 40 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,167 - I AGREE 100%, MA, 41 00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:33,033 EXCEPT FOR THE "LOVELY BOY" PART. 42 00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:34,533 - I TRIED TO TEACH YOU. 43 00:01:34,533 --> 00:01:37,700 I MEAN, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT WORDS CAN HURT PEOPLE. 44 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,167 - THAT'S RIGHT, RAYMOND! 45 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:42,233 - NO ONE'S TALKING TO YOU, ROBERT. 46 00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:46,267 YOU'RE SUCH A BUSYBODY. 47 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,367 - I'M TELLING YOU THE KID WAS FINE. 48 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:55,033 MOM'S OUT OF HER MIND. 49 00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:59,300 - YEAH, WELL BE THAT AS IT MAY, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN. 50 00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:01,967 MY HEART GOES OUT TO THE BOY. 51 00:02:01,967 --> 00:02:03,200 - WILL YOU STOP IT? 52 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,867 I WAS JUST BEING FUNNY. 53 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:06,633 - I BEG TO DIFFER. 54 00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:12,133 YOU SAY THINGS THAT NOBODY LIKES. 55 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,567 JUST LIKE THAT TIME WITH YOUR PARENTS? 56 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,633 - WHEN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 57 00:02:15,633 --> 00:02:18,967 - WELL, REMEMBER HOW YOU SAW THE LITTLE JESUS FIGURINE 58 00:02:18,967 --> 00:02:20,667 ON THEIR DASHBOARD? 59 00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,533 AND YOU SAID TO THEM, 60 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:26,300 "I GUESS THIS MUST BE A HARD CAR TO MAKE OUT IN?" 61 00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:35,033 - WELL, I MEAN... 62 00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:38,733 THE GUY'S LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU. 63 00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:41,900 - RAY, IT CAN'T ALWAYS BE THE OTHER PERSON'S FAULT 64 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,500 WHEN THEY DON'T GET YOU. 65 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,067 - THIS THING WITH THE KID WAS FUNNY! 66 00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:47,267 I'M TELLING YOU, HE LAUGHED. 67 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,300 - YEAH, YEAH. 68 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,933 YOU SEE, IF HE LAUGHED, 69 00:02:49,933 --> 00:02:55,033 IT WAS THE UNEASY CHUCKLE OF A TERRIFIED YOUNG CHILD 70 00:02:55,033 --> 00:02:57,067 HAVING TO SPEND THE AFTERNOON 71 00:02:57,067 --> 00:03:01,433 WITH A VERY MEAN AND UNFUNNY MAN. 72 00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:03,533 - I BET WHEN YOU MAKE OUT IN THE CAR, 73 00:03:03,533 --> 00:03:05,767 THE JESUS WEEPS. 74 00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:10,267 [door opens] 75 00:03:10,267 --> 00:03:13,633 - HI, KIDS! HEY, CHRIS! HI! 76 00:03:13,633 --> 00:03:16,900 CHRIS, I WANT YOU TO MEET THE BOYS' UNCLE ROBERT 77 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,400 AND AUNT AMY. 78 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,333 - [sympathetically] HI, CHRIS. 79 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,433 - [sympathetically] HOW YA DOIN', BUDDY? 80 00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:29,633 - GOOD. 81 00:03:29,633 --> 00:03:32,733 - LET'S GO UPSTAIRS, YOU GUYS! - YEAH! 82 00:03:32,733 --> 00:03:34,167 YOU GUYS GO HAVE FUN. 83 00:03:34,167 --> 00:03:35,867 I MEAN--I MEAN GO HAVE MORE FUN, 84 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:39,200 'CAUSE WE HAD A LOT OF FUN TODAY, DIDN'T WE, GUYS? 85 00:03:40,967 --> 00:03:42,367 - OBVIOUSLY TRAUMATIZED. 86 00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:45,167 - OH! STOP IT, HUH? LOOK AT HIM. 87 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:47,267 - OH, HOW SOON YOU FORGET YOUR OWN PAST, RAYMOND. 88 00:03:47,267 --> 00:03:48,767 HOW ABOUT ALL THE TIME 89 00:03:48,767 --> 00:03:51,733 WE HAD TO LAUGH AT DAD'S HORRIBLE PUBERTY JOKES? 90 00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,000 - HE HAD TO MAKE JOKES. 91 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,000 YOU WENT THROUGH PUBERTY AT SIX. 92 00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:59,767 - YOU STOLE THAT LINE FROM DAD! 93 00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:02,400 COME ON, AMY, WE'RE GETTING THE PAPER 94 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:07,033 AND MOVING FAR, FAR AWAY FROM JACKASS LANE! 95 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,300 - I'LL STILL VISIT. 96 00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:18,733 - WHAT? 97 00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:20,000 DON'T LOOK AT ME. 98 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,333 [doorbell rings] 99 00:04:21,333 --> 00:04:22,767 THINK I DID SOMETHING WRONG, 100 00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:25,167 AND THEY GOT TO BRING JESUS INTO IT, RIGHT? 101 00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,367 HEY. 102 00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:31,233 - HI, I'M CHRIS' DAD, GEORGE BUCKNER. 103 00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:33,633 - OH! OH, HEY, I'M RAY. I'M RAY. HOW YOU DOING? 104 00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:35,133 - HI, HI, HI! HI! 105 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,533 COME ON IN. 106 00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:39,133 - I KNOW I'M A LITTLE EARLY, 107 00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:41,433 BUT I FIGURED YOU PROBABLY HAD ENOUGH OF HIM. 108 00:04:41,433 --> 00:04:43,300 - OH, NEVER! HE WAS A PLEASURE. 109 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:45,300 IN FACT, WE'LL KEEP HIM. - [laughs] 110 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,667 - OKAY, BUT NO GIVESIES-BACKSIES. 111 00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:49,300 [all chuckling] 112 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,267 HEY, HOW WAS THE GAME? 113 00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:52,600 - OH, THEY HAD A BLAST, YEAH. 114 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,233 - YEAH, IT WAS A REAL TREAT FOR CHRIS. 115 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,467 THIS WAS HIS FIRST KNICK GAME. - YEAH, GOOD. 116 00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:58,667 - RAY, WHY DON'T YOU GO UP AND TELL CHRIS HIS DAD IS HERE? 117 00:04:58,667 --> 00:04:59,867 CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? 118 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,700 - NO, I'LL GET HIM SOMETHING TO DRINK. 119 00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:02,633 YOU CAN GO UPSTAIRS, YEAH. 120 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:04,533 YEAH, GO AHEAD. IT'S OKAY. 121 00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:05,733 I CAN DO THINGS. 122 00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:09,767 YEAH. COME ON. COME ON IN. 123 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,900 - HEY, CAN I GIVE YOU SOMETHING FOR TODAY? 124 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:14,000 - OH, NO, NO, NO. I GET THE TICKETS FOR FREE. 125 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,300 - OH, IT'S OKAY, BUT I'VE BEEN TO THE MOVIES WITH HIM, 126 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,700 HE CAN EAT 40 BUCKS' WORTH OF CANDY. 127 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:22,200 - NO, WELL, CONSIDER HIS STOMACHACHE MY GIFT. 128 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,967 [both laughing] 129 00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:26,033 - THAT'S FUNNY. 130 00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:28,867 - YEAH. YEAH, FUNNY, RIGHT? 131 00:05:28,867 --> 00:05:30,100 YEAH, YEAH. 132 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,567 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUNNY? 133 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,600 - NO. - YEAH. 134 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,233 YOU KNOW, UH, UH... 135 00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:38,533 AT ONE POINT, CHRIS STARTED EATING PEANUTS, 136 00:05:38,533 --> 00:05:41,333 AND I LOOKED DOWN, AND HE'S NOT THROWING THE SHELLS AWAY. 137 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,667 HE'S GOT ALL OF THEM ON HIS LAP. 138 00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:44,100 SO I JUST SAY TO HIM, 139 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:45,600 "HEY, CHRIS, YOU CAN THROW THOSE ON THE FLOOR. 140 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,267 THAT'S WHAT THEY PAY THE JANITOR FOR." 141 00:05:47,267 --> 00:05:48,900 [laughs] YEAH, YEAH. 142 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:51,200 AND THEN HE LAUGHED. OH, HE KIND OF LAUGHED HARD. 143 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,833 YEAH, AND THEN HE TOOK HIS SHELLS-- 144 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:55,800 TOOK HIS SHELLS, AND HE PUT THEM ON THE FLOOR REAL GENTLY. 145 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,367 SO I GUESS YOU GOT HIM TRAINED REALLY GOOD AT HOME. 146 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:00,467 [laughs] 147 00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:02,767 UH, IT WAS JUST KIND OF A... 148 00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:04,767 A--A SIMPLE REMARK, YOU KNOW, 149 00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:07,233 A "HEY, THROW YOUR NUTS ON THE FLOOR! HA-HA!" REMARK. 150 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,000 YEAH...YEAH. 151 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,333 IT WAS FUNNY. IT WAS FUNNY. 152 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:11,767 HE'S FUNNY--CHRIS. 153 00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:17,900 YOU KNOW, HE'S MY FAVORITE FRIEND OF THE KIDS'. 154 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:20,333 - OKAY. - YEAH. 155 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:22,433 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUNNY? 156 00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:25,000 I DIDN'T KNOW--I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THAT WAS YOUR... 157 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,367 THAT--THAT--THAT'S YOUR... 158 00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:29,367 CRAFT. 159 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,300 - HI, DAD. - HEY, BUDDY. LET'S GO. 160 00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,233 - LISTEN, CHRIS. IT WAS GREAT HAVING YOU. 161 00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:37,467 WE'LL HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME. 162 00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:38,900 - THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 163 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,900 - AH, THAT'S A POLITE KID. YEAH, YEAH. 164 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,167 ANYTIME, CHRIS. 165 00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:43,533 TAKE IT EASY. 166 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:46,533 YEAH, AND IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU... 167 00:06:46,533 --> 00:06:47,933 MISTER! 168 00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:49,367 HUH? 169 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,933 I'LL SEE YOU, CHRIS! 170 00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:54,767 YOU'RE MY NEW FAVORITE FRIEND OF THE KIDS'! 171 00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,233 NEXT TIME BEFORE I TAKE A KID TO A GAME, 172 00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:06,633 WOULD IT KILL YOU TO TELL ME 173 00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:08,433 WHAT HIS FATHER DOES FOR A LIVING? 174 00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:15,267 - WHAT DID YOU DO? 175 00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:24,700 - EITHER I'M NOT TELLIN' THAT CHRIS STORY PERFECTLY, 176 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:28,600 OR...OR HIS FATHER'S A LITTLE SENSITIVE. 177 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,000 - YOU TOLD HIM WHAT YOU SAID? 178 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,900 WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT? 179 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:37,300 - TO SHOW--TO SHOW YOU THAT IT'S JUST A FUNNY STORY 180 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,033 AND THAT ANYBODY WOULD BE FINE WITH IT. 181 00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,633 - AND IS HE FINE WITH IT? 182 00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:45,933 - NOT ALWAYS RIGHT! 183 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,300 - GOD, RAY, I WAS WORRIED THAT CHRIS WOULD TELL HIM. 184 00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:54,100 I NEVER THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD GO AND COMMIT HARI-KARI! 185 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,100 - WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT. 186 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,867 HE'S SENSITIVE. YOU'D THINK A JANITOR WOULD BE TOUGHER. 187 00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,900 - STOP! STOP! STOP! 188 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,833 STOP SAYING THAT! 189 00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,400 LISTEN, YOU HAVE TO REALIZE YOU SAID A HORRIBLE THING, 190 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,233 AND YOU ARE NOT A FUNNY PERSON! 191 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,567 - I KNOW! 192 00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,200 - GOOD! GOOD! 193 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,233 WHEN YOU TAKE THE KIDS TO SCHOOL TOMORROW, 194 00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,300 YOU'LL GO DOWN TO THAT FURNACE ROOM 195 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:26,700 AND APOLOGIZE TO CHRIS' DAD. 196 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,233 - ALL RIGHT. 197 00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:29,667 [doorbell rings] - JEEZ. 198 00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,033 HI! 199 00:08:35,033 --> 00:08:37,567 - I THINK CHRIS LEFT HIS RETAINER HERE. 200 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,533 - OH, YOU KNOW, I'M SURE IT'S UPSTAIRS. 201 00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:40,533 GO ON UP, CHRIS. 202 00:08:40,533 --> 00:08:43,167 COME ON IN. COME. COME IN. 203 00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:44,800 CAN I--CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? 204 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,700 MAYBE, UH, SOME GINGER ALE 205 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,533 OR PRETZELS? 206 00:08:48,533 --> 00:08:49,600 - NO, THANKS. 207 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,167 - LISTEN... 208 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:57,200 I HOPE YOU DIDN'T GET UPSET OR... 209 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,900 OR...OR ANGRY 210 00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:01,067 ABOUT THE THING I SAID BEFORE 211 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:04,367 ABOUT THE THING I SAID... AT THE GAME. 212 00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:06,133 - LET'S JUST FORGET IT. 213 00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:07,767 - 'CAUSE HE WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING 214 00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:10,367 TO HURT YOURS OR CHRIS' OR ANYBODY'S FEELINGS. 215 00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:13,033 - HEY, I'M DOING IT! 216 00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:21,300 - IT'S OKAY. 217 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,833 - NO, IT'S NOT OKAY. IT'S NOT. 218 00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:24,233 COME HERE. COME HERE. 219 00:09:24,233 --> 00:09:25,667 JUST--PLEASE, JUST SIT DOWN FOR ONE MINUTE. 220 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,367 ONE MINUTE, PLEASE. NO, GO AHEAD. 221 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,900 GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. JUST--JUST SIT DOWN, PLEASE. 222 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,567 PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. 223 00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:33,000 YOU KNOW... 224 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,067 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? 225 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,867 I--I WASN'T THINKIN'. 226 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:40,300 SO--SO I'M SORRY THAT I WAS A LITTLE INSENSITIVE. 227 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,800 I THINK MAYBE I SAID WHAT I SAID 228 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,300 BECAUSE I'M NOT, YOU KNOW, A JANITOR. 229 00:09:48,733 --> 00:09:50,767 - WELL, ACTUALLY, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, 230 00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:52,800 WE PREFER THE TERM "CUSTODIAN." 231 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,267 - CUSTODIAN! RIGHT. 232 00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:56,967 CUSTODIAN! I MEANT CUSTODIAN. 233 00:09:56,967 --> 00:09:59,167 - I ALWAYS SAY CUSTODIAN. 234 00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:02,300 - I'VE SAID CUSTODIAN! 235 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,900 - IT--IT'S OKAY, REALLY. I--I'D BETTER GET GOING. 236 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,433 - NO, NO, NO, NO! 237 00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:08,067 NOW I FEEL LIKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO GO. 238 00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:09,467 BUT PLEASE. I'M NOT LIKE THAT. 239 00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,100 - I KNOW. - NO, NO. PLEASE, WAIT. WAIT. 240 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:14,167 - RAY, LET HIM GO! I'M SORRY, GEORGE. 241 00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:16,700 - HEY, DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR ME! 242 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,333 - HEY, CAN I USE YOUR PHONE TO CALL REAL ESTATE AGENTS? 243 00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:20,800 - YEAH, YEAH, SURE. 244 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,633 - EVERY TIME I TRY TO CALL ONE FROM OVER THERE, 245 00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:24,733 I HEAR MOM BREATHING ON THE UPSTAIRS LINE. 246 00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,433 - HEY, ROBERT, ROBERT! 247 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:30,167 YOU REMEMBER THE TWINS' WONDERFUL FRIEND CHRIS? 248 00:10:30,167 --> 00:10:31,933 WELL, THIS IS HIS WONDERFUL DAD, GEORGE. 249 00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:34,133 - OH. - GEORGE. 250 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,267 - I THINK CHRIS IS WONDERFUL. 251 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:41,233 A SPLENDID LAD. 252 00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:44,300 - THIS IS MY BROTHER, ROBERT. 253 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,233 YEAH. HE'S A COP. 254 00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:49,067 HE'S A COP, JUST A REGULAR COP. 255 00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:50,567 WORKIN' JOE. 256 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,167 MY BROTHER. 257 00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:57,700 [all chattering] 258 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,933 - HEY, YOU READY, CHRIS? YOU GOT YOUR RETAINER? 259 00:10:59,933 --> 00:11:02,067 - NOT YET. WE'RE GONNA GO PLAY ON THE COMPUTER. 260 00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:04,367 - YEAH, BUT WE REALLY HAVE TO-- 261 00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:05,500 GREAT. 262 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,667 - LET HIM STAY, YOU KNOW? 263 00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,500 HE SHOULD STAY. THEY'RE HAVING A FANTASTIC TIME. 264 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,333 IN FACT, THIS IS BETTER, 'CAUSE YOU GUYS 265 00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:17,400 CAN JUST SIT DOWN AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER. 266 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,567 YEAH, YEAH. JUST SIT. SIT. SIT. SIT. 267 00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:20,667 SIT! SIT! 268 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:23,067 SIT! 269 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:25,200 SIT...DOWN! DOWN! 270 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,600 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 271 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,167 - NO, THEY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON, THESE GUYS. 272 00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:30,967 - WE DO? - SURE! SURE. 273 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:33,500 I JUST THINK IT'S SO INTERESTING, YOU KNOW? 274 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,000 ONE OF YOU KEEPS THE SCHOOLS CLEAN, 275 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,667 AND ONE OF YOU KEEPS THE STREETS CLEAN. 276 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,233 YOU KNOW? 277 00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:49,033 METAPHORICALLY. 278 00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:51,200 BUT THE MAIN THING IS... 279 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,700 SHOULD ONE OF YOU START TO SLACK OFF... 280 00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,967 WOW! 281 00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:57,133 THERE'S A MESS! 282 00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:00,867 - RAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 283 00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:04,300 - I'M TALKIN' TO THE BACKBONE OF AMERICA. 284 00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:08,267 - YOU HAVE TO STOP! 285 00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:11,933 GEORGE, RAY IS SORRY FOR HIS FAUX PAS, 286 00:12:11,933 --> 00:12:14,333 AND I'M SORRY FOR ALL OF THIS. 287 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:15,867 - "FAUX PAS! FAUX PAS!" 288 00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:18,000 OH, YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, RIGHT? 289 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,300 - THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME! 290 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,467 - I KNOW, SO STAY OUT OF IT! 291 00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:22,000 I DON'T GO APOLOGIZING FOR YOU 292 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,167 WHEN YOU DO ONE OF YOUR FAUX PAS! 293 00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:25,567 - YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT? 294 00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:27,333 NEXT TIME I MAKE A FAUX PAS LIKE YOU, 295 00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:28,667 PLEASE SAY SOMETHING! 296 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:29,733 - I WILL. I WILL. 297 00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:31,533 - CHRIS! 298 00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:37,567 [kids chattering] 299 00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,533 GO GET YOUR RETAINER. YOU GOT TO STOP TAKING IT OUT! 300 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,567 - ROBERT, PUT THAT PHONE DOWN. 301 00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:55,167 OH, HELLO. 302 00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:58,033 - MARIE, THIS IS OUR FRIEND GEORGE, 303 00:12:58,033 --> 00:12:59,433 CHRIS' DAD. 304 00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:00,833 THIS IS RAY'S MOM, MARIE. 305 00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:02,033 - HI. 306 00:13:03,133 --> 00:13:04,900 - WAIT. YOU'RE THE JANITOR? 307 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:07,300 - CUSTODIAN. CUSTODIAN. 308 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,567 - OH... CAUSE I THOUGHT-- 309 00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:11,533 - MARIE, WHAT'S THE STORY WITH THE CANNELLONI? 310 00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,333 - IT'S READY. LET'S GO. 311 00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:14,967 - WHO'S THIS? 312 00:13:14,967 --> 00:13:17,033 - THIS IS CHRIS' DAD, GEORGE. 313 00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,467 - THE JANITOR? 314 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,833 MARIE, YOU SAID HE WAS BLACK! 315 00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:26,367 [all gasp] 316 00:13:28,533 --> 00:13:29,700 - NO, I DIDN'T! 317 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,233 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU SAID-- 318 00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:33,100 - NO, I SAID HE WAS AFRICAN-AMERICAN! 319 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,733 [all groan] 320 00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,833 - OKAY, THEN. WHAT ARE YOU ARGUING FOR? 321 00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:39,300 - I APOLOGIZE, GEORGE. 322 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,633 IT'S JUST, WELL-- 323 00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:43,100 I--YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL 324 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,367 THAT ANYONE CAN BE A JANITOR NOW. 325 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,433 - GEORGE, PLEASE... 326 00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:54,200 - NO, IT'S OKAY. I--I REALLY HAVE TO GO. 327 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,800 - I WANT TO ASSURE YOU 328 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,100 THAT MARIE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ALL OF US. 329 00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:59,667 - SHE JUST SPEAKS MORE THAN ALL OF US. 330 00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:03,300 WHO ARE YOU TO TALK? YOU CAME IN SAYING, "BLACK"! 331 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,400 - OH, MY GOD! - OH, JEEZ! 332 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,833 - GEORGE, LISTEN, I-- 333 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:10,867 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE WITH THIS MAN. 334 00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:15,267 I MEAN, HE--HE'S A CONSTANT EMBARRASSMENT. 335 00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:18,233 - I'M JUST WAITIN' FOR A RETAINER. 336 00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:25,033 - WHAT ABOUT THE TIME YOU WORKED FOR THE PELK ACCOUNTING? 337 00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:27,233 - OH, YEAH, THAT WAS FUNNY. YEAH. 338 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,467 HEY, I WALK INTO WORK ONE MORNING, 339 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,533 AND THERE'S THIS HUGE LADY SITTING 340 00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:33,267 AT ONE OF THE OTHER GUYS' DESK, WORKING THE PHONES. 341 00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,733 SO I GO OVER TO IRV LEBROTTE, AND I SAY, 342 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:40,067 "HEY, WHO'S THAT BIG, FAT MOOSE OVER THERE?" 343 00:14:41,767 --> 00:14:43,667 HE SMILES AT ME AND SAYS, 344 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:46,433 "THAT'S MY MOM." 345 00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:49,633 - OH, MY GOD, FRANK, WHAT DID YOU SAY? 346 00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,567 - WELL, I WAS PRETTY QUICK ON MY FEET BACK THEN, 347 00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:54,400 SO I SAID, UH, "WHAT DO YOU FEED HER?" 348 00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:08,000 AND I WALKED AWAY. 349 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,867 - YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE, FRANK! 350 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,533 WHENEVER I TAKE HIM ANYWHERE, 351 00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:14,300 I WANT TO GIVE OUT CARDS THAT SAY, "I'M SORRY," ON THEM. 352 00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:19,133 - MY CARDS SAY, "WIFE FOR SALE." 353 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,367 PHONE AIN'T RINGIN'. 354 00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:26,767 - ALL RIGHT, WILL YOU TWO STOP? 355 00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:28,767 THIS IS WHY EVERYBODY THINKS THAT OUR FAMILY IS CRAZY! 356 00:15:28,767 --> 00:15:31,233 IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU TWO AND RAYMOND! 357 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,733 - HOW DARE YOU, 358 00:15:35,733 --> 00:15:39,067 TALKING ABOUT OUR FAMILY IN FRONT OF COMPANY? 359 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,067 I APOLOGIZE FOR MY SON. 360 00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,200 - OH, DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR ME! 361 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,667 YOU CAME IN HERE WITH THE BIGGEST FAUX PAS EVER, 362 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,600 NOT ME! - OH, YEAH? 363 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,833 WELL, HOW ABOUT THE TIME THAT YOU ARRESTED THE GUY 364 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:52,300 FOR FLASHING GANG SIGNS, HUH? 365 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,367 AND YOU STARTED READING HIM HIS RIGHTS, 366 00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:56,767 BUT HE JUST KEPT FLASHING GANG SIGNS, 367 00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,700 MAKING YOU MADDER AND MADDER. 368 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,500 HE WASN'T BREAKIN' THE LAW, WAS HE, ROBERT? 369 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,167 - NO. 370 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:13,067 - WHAT WAS HE DOIN'? 371 00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:16,200 - HE WAS BEING DEAF. 372 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:21,000 [laughter] 373 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,200 - HOLY CRAP! 374 00:16:28,967 --> 00:16:32,467 - FEE-FI-FAUX-PAS! 375 00:16:36,967 --> 00:16:38,833 - OH, GOD... 376 00:16:38,833 --> 00:16:40,800 I STILL REMEMBER. 377 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,867 I'M SO, SO... 378 00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:45,767 SORRY. 379 00:16:47,767 --> 00:16:49,333 - YEAH. 380 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,500 THAT'S WORSE THAN WHAT I DID, RIGHT, GEORGE? 381 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,700 - NO, NO, RAY, IT IS NOT WORSE, 382 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:56,600 BECAUSE AT LEAST HE APOLOGIZED AND THEN LEFT IT AT THAT. 383 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,433 YOU'VE GONE ON TO MAKE THIS EVEN MORE HUMILIATING 384 00:16:58,433 --> 00:16:59,867 BY WHAT YOU'RE DOING. 385 00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:00,833 - WHY? WHAT? WHAT AM I DOING? 386 00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:02,733 WHAT? GEORGE, WHAT? 387 00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:05,567 - YOU SAY THAT HORRIBLE THING TO POOR LITTLE CHRIS, 388 00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,667 AND THEN YOU GO AND SAY THE EXACT SAME THING 389 00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:09,667 TO THE MAN HIMSELF! 390 00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:12,267 AND THEN YOU INVITE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IN, 391 00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:15,633 THE FLYING FAUX PAS! 392 00:17:22,133 --> 00:17:26,000 WHO TREAT HIM TO AN AFTERNOON OF INSULTS! 393 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,167 - ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 394 00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:30,133 I'M SORRY. GEORGE, GEORGE. 395 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,067 I SAID SOMETHING STUPID, AND I'M SORRY. 396 00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:35,867 I AM. I'M VERY, VERY SORRY. 397 00:17:35,867 --> 00:17:37,500 - HEY, IT'S OKAY, MAN. 398 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,800 LET'S--LET'S REALLY JUST FORGET ABOUT IT. 399 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,033 PLEASE? 400 00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:44,567 - THANK YOU, GEORGE. 401 00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:47,033 NOW, RAY, GO UPSTAIRS AND HELP CHRIS FIND HIS RETAINER 402 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,433 SO GEORGE CAN GET OUT OF HERE. 403 00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:50,500 - OKAY. 404 00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:57,767 - BUT I'VE BEEN THINKIN' OF SOMETHIN', THOUGH... 405 00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:01,700 NO. NO, NO, NO. 406 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,767 BECAUSE MAYBE, YES, 407 00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:07,367 IT--IT SEEMS I WAS A LITTLE INSENSITIVE. 408 00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:10,533 BUT ACTUALLY, THAT THING AT THE GAME TODAY-- 409 00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:12,467 "HEY, YOU CAN THROW YOUR SHELLS ON THE FLOOR. 410 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,500 THAT'S WHAT THEY PAY THE JANITOR FOR." 411 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,267 I WAS JUST STATING A FACT, RIGHT? 412 00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:19,467 I MEAN, IT'S TRUE, ISN'T IT? 413 00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:20,900 IT'S LIKE THIS. IT'S LIKE THIS. 414 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,500 I'M A SPORTSWRITER, RIGHT? 415 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,900 SO THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE CLEANING UP SOMETHING 416 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,067 AND YOUR KIDS ARE WITH YOU 417 00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:29,967 AND A SPORTING EVENT GOES BY 418 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:33,667 AND ONE OF YOUR KIDS SAYS, "HEY, I SHOULD WRITE ABOUT THAT," 419 00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:36,967 WELL, THEN YOU CAN SAY, "NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 420 00:18:36,967 --> 00:18:41,767 THAT'S WHAT THEY PAY THE SPORTSWRITER FOR." 421 00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:46,700 YOU SEE? IT'S THE SAME THING. 422 00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:49,433 SPORTSWRITER, JANITOR. 423 00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:52,267 CUSTODIAN. 424 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,100 I'M VERY SORRY! 425 00:18:58,533 --> 00:18:59,467 - CHRIS! 426 00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,700 - I CAN'T FIND IT! 427 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,033 - IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOUR TEETH ARE STRAIGHT ENOUGH! 428 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:09,933 - I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAPPY. 429 00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:13,500 LISTEN, GEORGE, GEORGE... 430 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:17,000 I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. 431 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,867 AND I JUST HOPE THAT THE CHILDREN CAN STILL BE FRIENDS, 432 00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:22,933 BECAUSE THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, 433 00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:27,300 EVEN IF THE PARENTS CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ALONG. 434 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,033 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 435 00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:32,767 THANK YOU. 436 00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:34,433 - GREAT, GREAT. 437 00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:38,067 I JUST WANT MY KIDS TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYBODY. 438 00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,100 I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? 439 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,500 TOMORROW THEY MIGHT COME HOME 440 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,433 WITH SOME BOY WHOSE DAD WORKS IN THE SEWER. 441 00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:44,800 [all gasp] 442 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,300 NO--I--UH... 443 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,233 I DIDN'T-- 444 00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:52,333 I'M SORRY. 445 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,433 - DEBRA! 446 00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:14,533 - I FOUND IT. IT WAS IN THE FISH TANK. 447 00:20:14,533 --> 00:20:16,633 - OH. PUT IT IN, AND LET'S GO. 448 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,300 THANKS AGAIN FOR THE BALL GAME. 449 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,567 - OKAY. THANK YOU. 450 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:35,433 - WELL, WE'RE NEVER GONNA SEE THEM AGAIN. 451 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:38,767 - NO, I THINK HE'LL BE BACK. 452 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,767 HE FORGOT HIS KEYS. 453 00:20:49,267 --> 00:20:51,733 - I JUST FEEL HORRIBLE. 454 00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:55,233 FOR A CUSTODIAN TO SEE ALL THIS MESS. 455 00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:03,633 I THINK I'LL STRAIGHTEN UP. 456 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:08,900 - HEY. 457 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,167 CHRIS AND HIS DAD ARE OUTSIDE, 458 00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:11,900 AND HE ASKED ME TO GET HIS KEYS FOR HIM. 459 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:16,367 IT SEEMED LIKE HE DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK INSIDE. 460 00:21:16,367 --> 00:21:19,867 - I DON'T BLAME HIM. IT WAS KIND OF A NIGHTMARE. 461 00:21:19,867 --> 00:21:21,633 - OH, YEAH? 462 00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:24,567 DID YOUR MOTHER COME OVER AND MAKE THINGS WORSE AS USUAL? 463 00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:36,633 [door clicks shut]