See, I'm definitely putting my foot down. This isn't happening any more.
No, it won't happen any more. Keep watching.
This series he's really stepped it up a gear. I mean, I thought series one was pretty bad.
And I thought he'd done it. I thought he'd got it all out of his system.
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
I thought I was safe on series two, but, I mean, this has been unbelievable.
I'm Nigel Williams. I'm the editor on Extras, The Office,
I've done a lot of Ricky's stand-up.
(GROANING)
Nearly. He's strong.
WILLIAMS: He started off as quite an amenable kind of guy, really.
There were little things like drawings of me on holiday in a thong,
stuff like that, which was a bit weird, but nothing really out of the ordinary.
Hang on, I think...
- I think I'll go and do this somewhere else. - All right, see you later.
(GROANING) I've got an idea.
It was when he discovered tape that things really kicked up a gear.
MERCHANT: Can you explain what's happening, Rick?
- I'm just doing the edit. - Right, what are you working on?
- Breakfast Boy. - Okay, is that a scene for Extras or...
No, no, it's... Nige.
This is Breakfast Boy.
It's got... You've got the cereal there,
which also features there... He loves his little Nut Crunch.
He loves his little... You love your little nuts, don't you?
Tea bags. Everyone likes a cup of tea at breakfast.
And there's the spoon, which is... It also vibrates a little bit.
That's just stuff that was lying around.
I don't know, I think he's fascinating.
I just think he's fascinating. He's very versatile.
He's very versatile. Aren't you?
- I was told this wasn't gonna happen again. - No, you weren't. No, you weren't.
Charlie said. The producer.
When did he say that?
When I first agreed to it,
- when I signed the contract. - So he lied to you.
So the producer lied to him, which is one thing I never do.
So who do you like more, then? Me, who's honest.
And I'm telling you now, this is gonna happen every day,
and it's gonna get worse, okay?
It starts off as quite small
and then before you know it, bang, it's there, you can't move.
You're taped up. He's sitting on me.
So, yeah. It's... Often you don't have a lot of choice.
(GRUNTING)
Okay. Hands off, hands off.
I did try stopping him once, and he did sit on me.
GERVAIS: Oh, God.
Oh, he's digging his little paws in.
I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air.
And, you know, he's heavier than he looks, which is saying something.
And it knocks... That elbow's protected there.
It's a little bit uncomfortable.
WILLIAMS: The worst moment for me was definitely the cage incident.
Ricky came in and said do I wanna look at the sitcom set.
I thought, "Yeah, that's nice, sort of interesting."
So I went down there. The crew were all at lunch,
and I was looking around the set, it all looked very interesting.
I turn round and Ricky's got a mop head in his hand,
and I think, "Hang on, what's going on here?"
WILLIAMS: Before I know it, I'm in a cage staring out,
there's 20 crew members all looking puzzled,
with Ricky doubled up in pain.
- Right, Nige... - Yeah?
- ...is this the worst one yet? - Definitely, yeah.
'Cause there's probably 200 people watching.
- Oh, God. - Normally it's in the privacy of our own room.
I can't help but feel I'm partly responsible.
Have you got enough footage? That's the question.
Have you got enough footage now? Are we done?
I'm thinking, "What the hell?" That wasn't my proudest moment.
GERVAIS: Nige, where are you going? Come here. Let me help you take it off.
WILLIAMS: Got any scissors?
GERVAIS: Look at Ashley's face.
WILLIAMS: Hi, Ashley. How are you?
I haven't seen you for a year. How's it going? You all right?
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
ASHLEY: He's got... He's got a wife. WOMAN: That's amazing.
And kids.
You are lovely. You're the first person who's ever come to the rescue.
Here you are.
Being humiliated in front of 20 crew members.
Bullying. Physical abuse.
I don't know. Is it bullying?
Do you wanna see how hard I can punch Nigel in the stomach
without making him sick?
(LAUGHING)
- You hold his arms behind his back. - I've never met him before.
You hold Nigel's arms behind his back. I will see how hard I can punch him.
'Cause I know how hard to punch someone to make him sick,
if I put all my weight, but if I take about 20% off it,
it won't make him sick, it will just spoil his day.
I'm up for it.
Jonathan Ross came in to view something that Ricky had done.
Is it like a scrum?
Somehow we ending up having a massive bundle, and I cricked my neck.
Ow! Oh, God.
For a week afterwards, I was in serious pain.
I told Ricky about it, and he found it really funny.
Wait, no, there it is. There it is, Jonathan. There it is.
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
GERVAIS: Fucking hell.
See, this is what annoys me, okay?
Nigel, there, he moans. He goes, "Oh, don't tie me up."
Or, "Don't jump on me," don't do this, don't do that.
And yet he gets a free meal every day. That's totally free.
Right? He gets a pudding if he wants it. We pay him.
Which is really...
- So I will tie you up any time I want. - Everyone else gets free food.
- Yes, I know. - You don't tie them up.
No, but I don't want to tie them up
because they haven't got stupid little Pob type faces, have they?
Well, that's your opinion.
That is not my opinion. All my friends are slightly freakish.
Robin lnce with his little thumbs. Karl Pilkington with a perfectly round head.
- Steve Merchant, goggle-eyed freak. - MERCHANT: All right.
- MERCHANT: Hang on a minute. - And you look like fucking Pob.
Okay? You are the one I wanna squeeze and crush the most, really.
You mentioned all those people, but I know I'm the best looking out of all of them.
- Right. I'm not being funny... - I'm secure in myself.
Look at his little ears. He hasn't even got lobes, the twat.
Look at him, look at that. Fucking haircut like Tintin. Look.
Oh, yeah, 'cause you're amazing. Look at you.
Come on, all right, let's have a go.
I love it when he fights back. You are in fucking trouble now, Nigel.
(GRUNTING)
It's the... It's the head that's the problem, 'cause it's kind of bringing...
Bringing it...
(GRUNTING)
Yeah, it's... This is the best.
(GERVAIS CACKLING)
I still can't get out of it.
I can honestly say that I haven't been bullied before.
I wasn't bullied at school, and I'm not bullied by anyone else.
I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of wriggling around.
GERVAIS: (GIGGLING) You've shown me.
I mean, maybe when people see this, they might start having a pop,
but at the moment, it's only Ricky
that somehow sees this face and wants to tape it up.
I'm getting so bored with this now. You're obviously not.
I don't think so because at one point,
when you were wriggling around there and talking,
I thought I was gonna burst through laughing so much.
So I don't think I am getting bored with this, no.
But you're laughing with me, aren't you? Not at me.
As many people know, he's got quite a low attention span.
And 10 minutes in an edit suite is enough for him, and he starts getting twitchy.
Suddenly, he's looking around for things to do.
All right. See, now that's gone over my eyes.
You said you were gonna make holes in my eyes.
I know. I'll do it with a fork in a minute.
Tissue paper, tape, anything that's around, he'll steam in there.
He's like a rollercoaster. You can't You really can't stop it.
Steve, you've got to give me this. Look at this one.
Nigel, look up.
I can't see anything.
GERVAIS: (LAUGHING) It's good, isn't it? Tell them what's happened today.
You can see it's the usual. Ricky's surpassed himself.
Apparently. I can't see anything.
This is... It must be one of his better ones 'cause it's really hurting.
My eyes are really pushing back into their sockets.
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
I've got a headache. My mouth is dry.
I can't breathe.
Do you want a drink of water? See if you can.
- All right... - Right, see if you can drink it.
Just have a go.
Good. Come on.
MERCHANT: Nigel, over here.
Look up. Over here.
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
I'm not being funny, Steve, but if I put your glasses on him...
All right, hang on.
I've insulted two people in one fell swoop.
That's great!
- Oh, trust me, Nige, you look brilliant. - Really?
To be honest, part of me is quite proud to be a part of these creations.
I mean, it is a partnership. You know, Ricky thinks these things up.
If he didn't have me, who would he... Who would he do it to?
So part of me is quite proud of, yeah, of people seeing it,
'cause he wouldn't have an outlet otherwise.
I tell you what we should do. We should do skydiving.
- How can I? - Come here, come here.
You're asking for trouble 'cause I can't see were your testicles are.
- Okay, right, wait a minute. - Are you sure?
- Yeah, yeah. - If I fall over, though...
- If I fall, am I gonna hit anything? - No.
- You sure? - No, I'm not gonna let you down, right?
Okay, okay.
MERCHANT: Brilliant.
Steve, are you getting this? Get it from a high angle, eh?
'Cause this is hilarious. Right, okay.
Okay, all right, okay.
Too many... I'm gonna fucking burst!
Oi, don't jump on. Oh, fuck me. Right.
Steve, do you wanna come round here? Right, okay. Right, okay.
(LAUGHING) Just be careful!
Just be careful, right? Don't leap, don't leap.
- All right, all right. - Okay. Right, okay.
Okay, right. Okay, right.
- Okay. Don't let go, it's too dangerous. - All right.
- I have no intention of letting go. - Okay.
- Okay, now just look up for a minute. - Oh, that's amazing. Oh.
Okay?
Oh, God.
He's also quite cunning the way he does it.
So, you know, he can start off with doodling tattoos on my arm, a big man's cock,
and then before I know it, he's taping up my air hole so I can't breathe,
he's sitting on me. He has been known to fart on my head.
I'm trying to explore the grotesque.
You know Nigel, we make him look like little pig boy, it looks quite fun and happy.
But I've tried to go for something a little more macabre.
I can tell this is a good one 'cause it really hurts.
Oh, let me see you try and eat a banana.
No, come on. Seriously, I'll peel it. Eat a banana.
Come on, eat it. Eat a banana.
Right, on your marks, get set, go.
- I just wanna sleep. - No, just get your banana.
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
- Go on, you've got to eat it all. - I can't eat it. It's too tight.
No, come on, eat a bit more. Let's see you chew.
- I can barely breathe. - Okay, eat the fucking banana, though.
Can't 'cause I can't breathe.
- Get out of my face. - Right, come on.
(GROANING)
- Oh. - Oh, he's ruined it.
You know I like to use found objects. That is my art.
And what I was working with today was dots.
And I've used these to represent make-up, jewellery, the like.
And I've made Nigel up to be a lovely lady just going out
just by using the dots. The blue is the eye shadow.
Red is the rouge, and he's got some lovely gold earrings on.
Nige, what do you think? Where would you be going looking like that?
What sort of establishments would you...
I don't know. I like this one 'cause it doesn't hurt.
It's not taping my ear down or squishing my nose,
so I could go out like this.
It feels quite comfortable.
And now we're gonna have to try and represent clothes with these.
So pop those clothes off, and we'll make you some underpants, or...
- This was never mentioned. - No, no, some stockings or something.
Lovely little bra. Lovely little brassiere.
I'm not keen on taking my clothes off. Sorry to disappoint you. It's just that...
It's just, I'm not really... I'm not really happy with that.
(GERVAIS CHUCKLING)
GERVAIS: All right, I can do the profile, you can see there it's sort of like little...
Little rosebud lips, the little weak chin, that little thing there, right?
But I can't get him front on. Front on, he always looks like
an evil little pixie. 'Cause look at this face, right? Look.
Look at that, right? Beady little eyes, right? Weak chin.
Look how he eats it.
These pixie little fucking ears and that haircut.
He's my little lesbian.
I am married. I'm not a lesbian.
I... My wife thinks it's... Well, certainly when it all started off,
she thought it was a bit odd. I mean, she was witness to the drawings.
She has seen it develop over the years.
But now the weird thing is that I am coming home with big cocks drawn on my arm,
and lumps of hair taken out of me, and limping,
and she's just like, "Good day with Ricky, dear?"
It's all kind of really normal to her now.
What I did today, I realised that Nigel looks exactly like a little rodent.
Like a little hamster or something. So that's Nigel as a little hamster.
And there's quite a likeness. Nige.
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
What?
- I do have a couple of children. - Oh, it's amazing.
And I was dropping them off at school,
and one of the dads had seen the extras from DVD one, series one,
and called me pig boy.
GERVAIS: Oh, look at little pig boy.
- (LAUGHING) Oh, God! - Pig boy.
I told Ricky about this, and he was doubled up laughing the next day.
He couldn't control himself. I thought he was gonna have a heart attack.
He likes that, doesn't he? He looks like a little pig boy. Look at the camera.
Look at little pig boy.
I think maybe that's what he's striving for.
He wants this kind of recognition of me being a pig boy.
- Can I dress you up as a slug? - No.
You say no...
- And I mean no. - Are you putting your foot down?
I say no and I mean no.
Right, so, just... Just lean on me. Lean on me.
All right, all right.
(GROANING) All right. Hang on.
WILLIAMS: All right, quickly.
(LAUGHING) Steve! Steve!
Right. You might have to go round there and get it.
Right, Nigel, lift your head up.
Right, Nigel, right.
Right. Now, lift your head up. Lift your head up.
- I am lifting my head up. - Right. Can you get down here, Steve?
- MERCHANT: Yeah, the battery's going. - Oh, fuck. Quick.
Lift him up. Nigel, right, look at the camera.
- You just strangled me. - Right, tell him what you are.
I'm a praterpillar.
Oh, God.
Wiggle around, then. Wiggle around like a praterpillar.
Six weeks before the boys come in, I do what is called a rough cut,
so the boys can see how the show's coming together.
I'd be sitting there in my edit suite watching takes, watching Ricky's performance.
MAN: And we're set. MAN 2: Same board, Nigel.
And suddenly he would break out of character and start mentioning my name...
He said, "Nigel," and that's put me off
'cause I'm thinking of his little fat cheeks, his little fat...
Big fat hamster cheeks. Calling my mates' names out.
You know, all that kind of stuff. It was really weird.
All right, Nige.
They were doing a scene in a theatre full of 200 extras,
and I'm editing this scene and at the end of the take,
all these 200 audience members turn round to camera...
ALL: (MURMURING) Nigel Williams, Nigel Williams...
Sorry, sorry, what are you whispering, what are you murmuring?
I was just amazed. I was amazed at the effort that he went to
to get these 200 people to all do this act, you know.
Just the effort just to wind me up. Madness.
- Nigel Williams looks like a stupid hamster? - I know.
- But how do they know? - I don't know, I don't know.
He's got to eat three of them in one minute.
You were trying to smuggle in water as well, weren't you?
- Yeah. - He was holding water. Right, right.
Right, £50. Have you got the 50 on you? 'Cause I don't reckon you're gonna do this.
- Right, lay down. Lay down. - No. I'll write you a cheque.
- Why do I have to lie down to eat biscuits? - 'Cause it looks better, it's more visual.
Ricky, the night before, had watched Celebrity Love Island
involving eating cream crackers.
And I flippantly said, "Oh, I could do that, easy."
Five, four, three, two, one. Go!
Come on, Nige.
Eating the crackers was a lot harder than I thought.
GERVAIS: Five seconds.
- My mouth dried up after one. - GERVAIS: Come on.
I remember a lot of crumbs. It was quite unpleasant.
Come on. Come on.
Come on! You've got 20 seconds left.
You're never gonna do it. You've got to put that last one in.
Come on! You've got 15 seconds left, Nige.
(MUMBLING)
Get it in! You're never gonna do it, you idiot.
Right, you gotta swallow it. You gotta swallow everything.
Right, ten, nine, eight,
seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one.
He couldn't do it. It's all over. It's all over!
- How's that? - It's all over!
Look, he couldn't do it.
Oh, God. You owe me 50 quid.
I failed. And I think 50 quid was on it.
So, anyway, it was double or quits.
He said, "Okay, maybe you could eat a whole fruit bowl."
- What about that bowl of fruit? - Up the arse?
- What do you mean? - Well, um...
Well, okay. A bowl of fruit in... How long do you reckon it'd take?
So I thought, "Well, it's either 100 quid or quits.
"I reckon I could do that." And I think it was an apple,
an orange and a banana, or something like that.
Right. Two minutes on the clock. Ready? Three, two, one, go!
Right, he's going for the banana first, okay.
God, there it is, there it is. It's going in. Oh, this is astounding. This is very good.
That's only 10 seconds already, so I think he's done this quite easy.
It was quite unpleasant 'cause I remember necking a banana pretty quickly,
and, yeah, I felt quite ill after that.
Look at that, an eighth the way through.
Look at the ears. Get a load of the ears when he chews.
The ears! That looks like something you'd find in the fucking woods.
Doesn't it? He's bulging. Look at that. Oh, God, look at that.
Right, that's 45 seconds. This is gonna be easy, mate.
No, keep it on the chimp. Look. Look at that fucking chimp face!
Don't spit any or it doesn't count. Okay, you've got 45 seconds left.
Oh, come on, Nige. Come on.
Fucking hell!
No! Don't spit anything.
Right, you've got 30 seconds left. You've really got to go for it now!
You've got... Nigel! Come on, you've got 25 seconds.
Shove it in, or you're down 100 quid! You're down 100 fucking quid.
He came to work today. He can't go home!
She wants to know, "How was it?" He'd go, "Well, I'm full, but I've lost 100 fucking quid!"
Come on, Nige. Come on, Nige!
Five...
He's failed again, he's failed again! He owes me 100 quid!
(GERVAIS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
Oh, fucking hell. Oh.
Oh, fuck me.
- I could have done that. - Right.
We've got to give you an easy one to win your money back.
100 quid, fuck me.
Oh, I'm gonna burst. Oh.
Anyway, the last task was can I walk down the street with a box
taped to my front with Special K in it, I think it was, and milk?
You've got to go down to that Belisha beacon there.
When I say go, you've got two minutes to eat all that, get rid of all the milk
and get back into this door.
I don't know why he does it. I don't know why he does it.
Nige, ready?
Go!
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
It was pissing down with rain, but I thought, "I've got to do it
"cause I owe him 150 quid," or whatever it was.
It's not right. It's not right.
GERVAIS: I can't watch! I can't watch any more.
Tell him he's won. Tell him he's got his 100 quid back.
I walked to the end of the street and... Yeah, I did the bet, I did the challenge.
So who's laughing now, huh?
(PHONE RINGING)
Oh, fuck, I'm really sorry.
WOMAN: He's covered in milk!
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
Gotta be able to do that.
It's not bad.
That was all right.
All right? I'm done.
- You've won. You won. Well done. - There are some left, but...
- No, no, you've won. Well done. - WOMAN: He's gonna stink.
(ALL LAUGHING)