1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:05,717 There's nothing worse than corpsing when you're an actor. 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,039 And you were... Shit. 3 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:14,194 To the uninitiated, corpsing is when you unintentionally laugh and ruin a scene. 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,193 - Have you brushed your teeth today? - Yeah. 5 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,113 And it's an absolute nightmare, and you can't stop yourself laughing. 6 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,750 It's a real extreme form of hysteria in your body. 7 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,196 Well, listen, we should get a cup of tea or something sometime... 8 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,791 Well, listen, we... Well, listen, we should... 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,315 Well, listen, we should get a cup of tea... 10 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,754 (SQUEALING) 11 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,915 Well, listen, we should get a cup of tea or something sometime... Oh! 12 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,437 By the time you're laughing during the sixth take, no one else is laughing any more. 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,272 Oh, it's awful quiet. 14 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,478 The difference on this programme is that everybody corpses. 15 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,074 And there's nobody worse than Ricky. 16 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,038 Morning, campers. 17 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,195 Andy. 18 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,637 When you're acting, you're not caught up in the moment. 19 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,633 Anything can put you off. You're never not aware of your surroundings. 20 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,509 So suddenly, one little thing will bring out the absurdity... 21 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,273 - Of what you're doing, exactly. -...of what you're doing. 22 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,590 And you just go... You just... It's impossible. 23 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,350 Personally, I like to think of myself as a consummate pro. 24 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,273 - GOBBLER: I don't get it. - You don't get it? 25 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:41,518 I don't laugh or anything like that. I'm very hard to get going. 26 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,514 - Action. - I don't get it. 27 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,950 GERVAIS: (LAUGHING) Oh, God! 28 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,872 I'm not even watching! 29 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,439 (ALL LAUGHING) 30 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:57,399 From the outside, it looks like you're indulging yourselves. 31 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,993 - Yeah. - Because you're laughing. 32 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,798 And, of course, laughing is the one thing you associate 33 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,871 with being irresponsible or joking around. 34 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,669 And it's not. It's just this uncontrollable reaction. 35 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,273 I don't get it. 36 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,635 No. 37 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,309 - I don't get it. - You don't get it? 38 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,199 I've been without a man so long... 39 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,874 - I don't get it. - You don't... 40 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,076 (GERVAIS LAUGHING) 41 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:35,351 I just couldn't say anything. Oh, it was hard, that. And I felt ashamed. 42 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,678 I'm sweating like you can't believe. 43 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,589 You don't get it? I've been without a man so long, 44 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:48,197 - I think I'd say yes if Ray asked me. - GERVAIS: I'm not coming in to that. 45 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,200 Corpsing's one of the most bizarre sensations. 46 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,352 You can't really explain it until you've experienced it. 47 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,956 - You got my pen? - Yes, take it. 48 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,951 - Don't know why it's in here. - I didn't know... 49 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,111 - Having a wank? - Yeah. 50 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,315 It's all over the place! Let's go again. I'm so sorry. 51 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:16,917 I've never found a scene so hard to perform as the one in which 52 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,799 Andy Millman catches the agent masturbating. 53 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,791 Were you having a wank? 54 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,032 I dread to think how many takes it took 55 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,159 and in the end we were all gripped with, like, a hysteria. 56 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,913 And you really didn't know when it was gonna end. 57 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,231 Luckily, I think we nailed the scene in under a couple of hours, which was good going. 58 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,596 When I wasn't really acting, in The Office, 59 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:40,036 and I used to watch Ricky crack-up during scenes with other actors, it frustrated me. 60 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,793 I didn't understand why you couldn't just stop it. 61 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,190 It was like they were having a laugh. They were indulging themselves. 62 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,351 They were being children. And it's not till you're there 63 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,193 and the cameras are switched on and something is said 64 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,590 and it sets you off and you can't stop. 65 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,671 You having a wank? 66 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,911 - You got my pen? - Yes, take your pen, please. 67 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,877 Were you having a wank? 68 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,909 - Have you got my pen? - Yes, take it. Have it. 69 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,479 Having a wank? 70 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,714 - Right. - Hello. 71 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,393 I haven't got... 72 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,434 It's already absurd because I'm on my knees and he has to ask me the question, 73 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,273 "Are you masturbating?" Which is always gonna be tricky. 74 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,318 Two grown men, one of whom is asking the other that question. 75 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,198 Were you masturbating? 76 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,074 Ask me again? 77 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,590 Oh. 78 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,352 Were you masturbating? 79 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,833 It's the silence as well. Because we knew that we had to leave, like... 80 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:06,359 And I love those pauses, I love doing it longer than you normally would. 81 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,272 And, of course, all the time, Steve's thinking, 82 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:12,069 "Any second now he's gonna say, 'Were you masturbating?“ 83 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,754 Were you... 84 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,592 Were you masturbating before I came in, then? 85 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,712 Were you masturbating? 86 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,878 Oh, God almighty. 87 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,557 I was one second away there. I was one second away. 88 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,511 Well, I should have locked the door, but I didn't think ahead, 89 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,672 and the moment took me and I just went berserk. 90 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,637 - This is what I'm talking about. - We haven't talked about this. 91 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,279 - No. I didn't think I had to. - No. 92 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,432 But... Can you look me in the eye? 93 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,678 Almost certainly not. 94 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,518 (ALL LAUGHING) 95 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,714 Never have I laughed out of place, ever. 96 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:17,879 Until today. 97 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,154 Wizard... 98 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,433 Wizard, your... 99 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,515 GERVAIS: Okay. 100 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,510 You cannot handle this script. 101 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:42,673 You'll learn the words and you will speak them as if 102 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,795 - you were saying them for the very first time. - Yeah. 103 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,554 And you were... Shit. 104 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,554 Bollocks! 105 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,510 Have you still got that catsuit from The Avengers? 106 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,318 I was a model of professionalism. 107 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,993 Go away, Daniel. 108 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,075 - GERVAIS: Oh, he laughed. - Sorry, sorry. 109 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:08,517 There was one moment when I was doing the film sequence 110 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:14,353 with Warwick Davis playing a wood-elf, and I went up to him and I had to say... 111 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,915 Wood-elf, why do you cry? 112 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,590 Blow as I might, my flute makes no sound. 113 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,440 And he's doing this little voice, and every time he said the word "flute", 114 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,990 it suddenly became incredibly funny. 115 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,550 Blow as I might, my flute makes no sound. 116 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,077 Can't you see I'm upset? 117 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,840 (SOBBING) 118 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:42,670 Wood-elf. Sorry, I'm laughing. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 119 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,399 (SOBBING) 120 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,757 My flute makes no sound. 121 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:58,597 And without my music, the birds cannot sing their morning song. 122 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,433 This is serious. 123 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,029 You try everything to put yourself off. You don't look at each other. 124 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,394 You try to think about other stuff. 125 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,040 Ashley at one point, I remember, just started running around the set. 126 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,511 As if she was going to run off this laughter that she had. 127 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,314 Well, listen, we should get a cup of tea or something sometime... 128 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,279 Oh, right, hold on. Wait a minute. Hold on. 129 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,671 GERVAIS: This is all good. What the fuck is she doing? 130 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,191 I'm trying to cure... 131 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,112 I thought I'd learnt not to corpse. 132 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,238 Especially on live TV, with some of the things that I've seen. 133 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,470 But here was absolutely ridiculous. 134 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,911 (WHISPERING) Sometimes... 135 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,515 I don't know who's talking to who. 136 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,511 And then he starts corpsing. It's the worst thing for me, ever. 137 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,271 (WHISPERING) Sometimes... 138 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,800 I've just done the most unprofessional job in my entire career. 139 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,759 I've done nothing but laugh through the whole day. 140 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,477 Men have knobs, women have fannies. 141 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,271 Pop knob in fanny. 142 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,595 I do this little scene with my finger, and this being an orifice. 143 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:17,117 And keep poking, like this. And I can't tell you, I was sweating buckets. 144 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,878 A man has a knob, a woman... 145 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,033 On the TV it takes about 30 seconds. 146 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,829 But here in the studio it's taken nearly four hours. 147 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,273 Pop knob in fanny. 148 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,878 This is madness. 149 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,593 Proximity is funny as well. 150 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,911 So if you're talking to someone, it's funnier if you're talking to them like that. 151 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,071 Straightaway you're going, "I'm never gonna get through this." 152 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,720 Because you can see every bit of fear in their eye. 153 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,394 You can see the slightest movement if they're gonna laugh. 154 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,233 If they do that with their mouth, and you're gone. 155 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:59,029 See, men have knobs, women have fannies. 156 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,673 Pop knob in fanny. 157 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:11,440 Oh, God, you fucking... Oh, God, you don't know how hard that is, Steve. 158 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,673 - MERCHANT: Well, I was losing it here. - Don't... Fuck me. 159 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,673 I defy anyone to sit there. 160 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:23,353 It gets earlier in the take, so if I know that that's coming, 161 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,000 I start laughing just slightly before that. 162 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,519 Pop knob in fanny. 163 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,349 Pop... 164 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,874 Men have knobs, women have fannies. 165 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,153 A man has a knob. 166 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,236 It's tiring. It's because you think, "Well, I'm never gonna get this now." 167 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,913 Pop knob in fanny. 168 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,070 You bastard. 169 00:10:58,680 --> 00:10:59,795 Okay. 170 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:04,076 Pop knob in fanny, not up your arse. 171 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,151 I looked straight at the camera. Fucking... 172 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:15,119 What could be more normal than shoving your cock up a man's arse? 173 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,519 - Okay. - Okay. 174 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,078 It's Keith Chegwin. 175 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,916 - Okay. - Cheggers plays cock. 176 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:30,229 Of course, sometimes you do deliberately try and make other people corpse. 177 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,197 - We should flag that up. - My favourite thing. 178 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:37,832 If I can put someone off, but without actually going wrong in the scene myself, 179 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,799 that's like a little game I just play in my own head. 180 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,553 - I'm actually having the drink. - All right. 181 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:43,755 Okay. 182 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,760 (GURGLING) 183 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,352 - And action. - None taken. 184 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,478 - MAN: Here we go. Very still. - None taken. 185 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,435 GERVAIS: What I do sometimes is say things just before a take. 186 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,638 There was one thing where I had to say, "I'm going to The Ivy." 187 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,473 Before action and out of sight of the camera, I just said to Ashley, 188 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:13,235 "Okay, I'm gonna stick a word on the end of Ivy." 189 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,073 So she thinks, "Oh, what stupid word is he gonna do to put me off?" 190 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,117 And what the word was, was just "restaurant". 191 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,797 - Do you wanna go for a quick pint? - I can't tonight. 192 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,837 - Why, what are you doing? - I'm going to The Ivy restaurant. 193 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:27,198 You know Vernon Kay and Tess Daly? Oh, don't laugh! 194 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,918 - Why are you laughing? - Cut! 195 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,676 She laughed because she knew that that was the joke, that it was a normal word. 196 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:37,072 I looked fine. I looked like I was just saying, "I'm going to The Ivy restaurant." 197 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,071 And it put her off. Every time. 198 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,476 - Do you wanna go for a quick pint? - I can't tonight. 199 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,631 - Why, what are you doing? - I'm going to The Ivy restaurant. 200 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,949 Oh, God! 201 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,797 - Do you wanna go for a quick pint? - I can't tonight. 202 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,350 - Why, what are you doing? - Going to The Ivy restaurant. 203 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,357 - Do you wanna go for a quick pint? - I can't tonight. 204 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,592 - Why, what are you doing? - Oh, for fuck's sake! 205 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:04,433 And you'll see in the scene that when she laughs, okay, because I've made her, I go... 206 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:05,715 (SIGHING) 207 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:09,350 Like that. So everyone around is going, "Oh, come on. Come on." 208 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,319 But bear in mind, this is his TV programme. 209 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,471 - Do you wanna go for a quick pint? - I can't tonight. 210 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,518 - Why, what are you doing? - Going to The Ivy restaurant. 211 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,795 Oh, God! 212 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,598 - Do you wanna go for a quick pint? - I can't tonight. 213 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:27,150 - Why, what are you doing? - Going to The Ivy restaurant. 214 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,270 - That was interesting. - Yeah.