GERVAIS: Here we are, then. ROSS: Gentlemen, your work here is done.
In an E-type Jag, me and Jonathan Ross, off the telly.
I bet you can't believe it. You never thought this moment would come.
You must have dreamed of this when you were a young fella.
Now, I've driven with Jonathan Ross before and you should never show a weakness.
I told him I don't like, you know, going fast and I'm nervous of roads.
So he'd just rev up at any point, you know. And he's laughing, he's cackling.
He sounds like Sid James when he laughs.
If I'm a little bit scared, he finds it the funniest thing in the world.
GERVAIS: Can I just say, the reason that I insisted on a low-loader,
which takes ten times the amount of time...
- 'Cause you're scared of my driving. - Yeah, because you're an idiot.
- I'm not a fucking idiot. - You rev up and you...
I'm an excellent driver.
You're like a child in a big toy.
You know why? You are like a baby. You can't deal with anything over...
You can't... You know what you are? You are a law-abider. And I...
- What an insult! - I can't abide an abider.
You're still so punk, aren't you? OBE.
I knew that he'd tease me, so I thought, "Why don't I put it on a low-loader?"
Which is a truck that's dragged behind.
But there was one point we needed an up-and-pass
where you actually have to drive and overtake the camera and whizz off.
And, of course, he frightened me.
Why are we on the motorway? This isn't the loop.
Right, okay, I'm serious now.
I thought an E-type Jag was a lovely car, but it ruined the experience for me.
You are genuinely petrified of going over about 25 miles an hour, aren't you?
It's bizarre. I've never known an adult man as nervous as you are in a car.
Have you seen the damage that you can do at only 25 miles an hour? Slow down.
(WOULDN'T IT BE GOOD PLAYING)
Oh! You bastard!
Today, we've been filming, well, kind of the end point of the relationship
I have with Andy in the episode, where we become very close friends.
We're hanging out together, just as guys would. Uh...
I think it is probably going to be seen as quite a homoerotic scene
but, you know, I think that's... It's in the eye of the beholder, really.
There is a chemistry between us, obviously,
but I think at the same time, it's kind of... It's there if you want to see it.
You don't have to see it. You don't have to...
You don't have to be what we call a gay to enjoy it.
You can be a straight as well. Either way, you'd get what you want from it.
A gay would probably get a bit more from it.
But a straight, if he's watching it with his partner, maybe warm her up
and then everyone's happy. That's what we're really aiming for.
Oh, it's lovely.
ROSS: It's close to our real life relationship, to be honest with you.
If anything, we're probably a little bit closer in real life than we are here.
I mean, here there's a scene where we're lying around
and we're playing tennis together, which we do quite a lot,
and we eat together, which we do quite a lot, it's a barrier-breaking kind of thing.
Often, if it was at my house in a normal situation,
we may well swim together, we'll steam together...
Yes, maybe... We're kind of like, um, ancient Greeks
in that intimacy between men doesn't mean anything other than friendship.
And if a man wants to dry another man off after a shower, what about it?
What about it? If a man wants to touch another man's body,
and himself derive pleasure from that, it doesn't make him a bad person,
it doesn't make him a gay. It makes him someone who's just open.
If a man was to wank another...
(GERVAIS LAUGHING)
I'm on the set of GBH, I'm in my trailer, knock on the door, guess who it is?
- Go on, guess. - Mmm...
Alan Bleasdale.
- I don't know who that is. - Oh, fuck off!
LINDSAY: They have a style that is unique to themselves.
Kid's a waste of space.
You've got to tune into it very quickly.
Now, it took me a while, but I found it.
People associate him with things like My Family,
and they perhaps forget that he's also done some great, quite heavy drama
and things like GBH, where he did extraordinary work
and he's got that amazing kind of little edge to him. There's a little bit of darkness.
But his timing's brilliant.
- He doesn't want to see you, Robert. - Yes, he does.
He does because I've brought DVDs of My Family.
- Come on, everyone likes this. - I don't.
- I prefer that edgier stuff on BBC Two. - What are you, a critic?
I enjoyed it, and I didn't think I was going to enjoy it.
No, she probably saw me and thought, "I'd love to ask him first,
"being one of Britain's best loved and most popular actors.
"And let's not forget, he can sing and he can dance.
"And he has won awards on Broadway."
Sorry, he went as well!
No, I didn't! I was laughing at your laughing! Don't blame me!
It's your fault. You're ruining it for him.
- How many Emmys have they got? - This is so pathetic!
I'm ashamed that you have to see us like this.
Oh, God.
I actually did a show with Robert, Parkinson, and he did a song-and-dance thing.
I thought the show... It was lacking a little bit of, you know, entertainment.
So I just burst into song.
And I could see he was either impressed or shocked.
We thought that would be funny
because a 10-year-old would not know these references.
# Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh
# Don't you know that the world wants to laugh
# My dad said "Be an actor, my son, but be a comical one"
MERCHANT: It's too much gusto to give in a small hospital room.
You can't put on that much of a show. It's just embarrassing.
A couple of gags, maybe some card tricks, but...
And all the time, this being balanced with this kid that's on morphine
'cause he's in pain because he's, you know... He's very, very ill.
What I didn't do was limber up, warm myself up, and get myself in...
And this is what I ended up with, you know, a sprained knee,
doing the whole of Singing In The Rain.
One of the most bizarre moments in the entire filming process
was where we were filming a scene with Ashley
where she's playing Operation with the sick kid, and she has to say the line,
"From what I've heard, your tumour's massive."
I hope the surgeon working on me is better than you.
Well, it's a tiny little thing here I'm trying to pull out.
From what I've overheard...
- Sorry. - Try it again straightaway.
We just thought she'd fumbled the lines, whatever. That's fine. So we started it again.
This is a tiny little thing I'm trying to get out here. From what I... Pants.
Well, this is a tiny little thing I'm trying to get out here. From what I...
Oh, that was good up to then.
From what I've overheard. From what I've overheard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. This is the one.
Well, look, I'm trying to get this tiny little thing out here. From whom haf...
Okay.
It became almost a nervous tick. Is that how you describe it?
Well, yeah, you learn the mistake. Once you said it, it's like muscle memory.
Building up to it, you'll always go wrong in the same place, in the same way.
Well, this is just a tiny little thing I'm trying to get out here. From whum...
What is wrong with me?
- From whom wha... - Oh!
From whom whum...
From whom wh... Hold on, wait a minute. I'm having a wee sweat here.
Take after take after take, and she's still not able to do it.
And we're not angry, we're just... What can anyone do?
But this is a tiny little thing I'm trying to get out here. From whum...
GERVAIS: Have you got a bee sting? What's the matter with you?
- Have you eaten peanuts you shouldn't? - From what I...
Whu... Whu... Whum... I mean...
Well, this is a wee tiny thing I'm trying to get out here. From wum...
GERVAIS: Oh, for fuck's sake! Fucking hell.
I don't think we'll ever do this, will we?
Then she couldn't even say it when we were just trying to run the lines
before the cameras turned over. I mean, that's even more bizarre.
- It became a speech impediment. - It actually started talking
like the teachers in Peanuts.
(BOTH MIMICKING SOUND)
This is just a wee tiny thing I'm trying to get out here. From whum...
I know!
GERVAIS: Oh dear, it's kicked in.
And, of course, the pressure was on her. She went, "Okay, this time."
She went, "Oh... From whum..."
From whum...
GERVAIS: Good night, everybody. See you later.
You know now you're more stupid than the character.
You've actually tipped over into a whole new category. Unbelievable.
- What can I say? - Nothing!
The words! The right words is what you can say!
I hope the surgeon working on me is better than you.
Well, this is just a wee tiny thing I'm trying to get out here. From whum...
Oh, please! Not again.
(LAUGHING)
Reset, please. Reset.
We got ourselves into... And I'm going to use the word "pickle", really,
because... No, I'll tell you why. Because we...
No, it's a finger. It's just a finger. We got ourselves into something of a trifle
because we had... In our minds, we'd got this ending which involved Robert De Niro.
And Ricky had done a small bit in a film with Robert De Niro,
and for some reason this convinced us
that it would be possible to get De Niro for the show. I mean, you know...
I remember when, you know, a few days before,
Steve was going, "Are you gonna ask him to be in it?"
And I was going, "Yeah, yeah, but I'm just gonna play it cool."
And then I did a rehearsal with him and he goes, "How'd the rehearsal go?"
I went, "Fine." "Did you ask him?"
"No, not yet. Let me..." You know.
And so when I did this film with him, I was working, you know, all day,
and it was like eight hours of bravado. I was mucking around as well,
and putting him off, and got on well.
And then about a half hour before the end, I went over to him
and I went, "I think you're the best actor in the world. You're brilliant.
"I love you in The Godfather and... And Taxi Driver and all that.
"It's brilliant. Do you want to be in Extras?" He went, "Oh..."
We got interrupted. Okay...
And I went back again, "It's just a thing, uh... Extras...
"You probably wouldn't..." And he went,
"Um, I'll call you about that thing." And I went, "Huh?"
He went, "I'll call you about it." And I went, "Okay."
And I said to Steve, "He said he's gonna call me." Right?
One day, about three days later,
I get a missed call. And he goes, "Hi, it's Bob.
"Um, I'm calling about that thing." And I couldn't believe it!
So I called him back and I went, "Hello." He went, "Oh, hi."
And then I went, "I thought I told you never to fucking call me."
Luckily he laughed.
Robert De Niro is the greatest actor in the world
so I'd obviously like to work with him.
What we agreed was that we would find a time when we could do it
sort of between now and broadcast, and we took him on his word.
And the first scene we filmed for Extras was me on the Jonathan Ross show
where we mention getting De Niro.
Challenge accepted. De Niro. I will hook you up with De Niro.
- You can get me De Niro? - Yeah, but lose some weight first.
So if he couldn't have done it, I don't know where we'd have been.
- We had no plan B. - No, we had no plan B
and it was never confirmed.
So every time we were filming another scene which had a little mention to him,
we were just fingers crossed that he would sort of say definite yes
and give us a confirmation and a date.
And the whole time, we were just... It's like blindly going forward,
thinking, "Well, we're gonna have to broadcast this."
We were terrified that we would have to just reshoot one scene
with a mug in front of our face going, "Who's your hero again?"
"Um, Martin Freeman."
Kevin Bacon said that he could do it.
Look, I told you, Ant and Dec are making another film over here...
Fucking hell. Let's not laugh about it yet.
- So when we actually got him there... - That day...
That day after we'd filmed,
we had him for like 45 minutes and he was a joy.
- Yeah. - He was an absolute joy.
- Came in, boom. - We couldn't believe our luck.
We were giggling. We were going, "We got De Niro, then."
I came over at one point and went, "Oh, Steve, you might want to, um, uh..."
Summat or other, "Oh, yeah, fine. Yeah, great."
As I was walking back, Robert De Niro went, "How am I doing? Okay?"
I went, "Sorry?" He went, "How am I? Okay?"
I went, "Yeah, you're doing all right." And the crew laughed.
But he meant it genuinely. He thought, "Am I doing okay?"
I mean, just incredible. A man that has achieved what he's achieved
and is as good... I mean, he is the best actor in the world, I think.
- Hang on a minute. Don't do yourself down. - Oh, this has backfired.
Come on! How many awards? How many awards?
Well, that's nice that you do think that.
- That's not for me to say. - No, it's not for you to say.
- Oh, this is... - Do you need a few minutes?
Yeah.