1
00:00:06,056 --> 00:00:08,093
- Do you like jokes?
- Love them.

2
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,928
My brother told me one the other day.

3
00:00:10,016 --> 00:00:13,532
There's this bloke, right,
and he joins the Foreign Legion.

4
00:00:13,616 --> 00:00:16,574
On the first day the sergeant is, like,
showing him the ropes.

5
00:00:16,656 --> 00:00:20,615
And the bloke says, "You must get quite
lonely out here in the middle of the desert.

6
00:00:20,696 --> 00:00:22,812
"What do you do if you need a shag?"

7
00:00:22,896 --> 00:00:26,014
And the sergeant just points to this camel
that's tied to this tree.

8
00:00:26,096 --> 00:00:27,450
And the bloke thinks, "Oh, God, right."

9
00:00:27,536 --> 00:00:30,050
So anyway, a couple of weeks later,
this bloke's desperate.

10
00:00:30,136 --> 00:00:33,174
So one night he creeps out
and he starts shagging this camel.

11
00:00:33,256 --> 00:00:36,806
And this camel starts, sort of, spitting
and trying to kick him and stuff

12
00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:38,216
and wakes all the men up.

13
00:00:38,296 --> 00:00:40,731
So all the men run out
and they see him shagging this camel.

14
00:00:40,816 --> 00:00:43,535
The sergeant looks at him and goes,
"Oh, that's interesting.

15
00:00:43,616 --> 00:00:46,495
"We normally just ride it into town
to find a prostitute."

16
00:00:47,696 --> 00:00:51,052
Oh, no.
Well, why didn't the sergeant make it clearer?

17
00:00:51,136 --> 00:00:52,171
What?

18
00:00:52,256 --> 00:00:55,089
To be fair to the bloke, I mean,
I would have made the same mistake.

19
00:00:55,176 --> 00:00:58,487
I thought the camel was there
to have sex with, from the way you said it.

20
00:00:58,576 --> 00:01:00,487
Yeah, well, you're meant to.

21
00:01:00,576 --> 00:01:03,409
Well, why are you having a go at the bloke
for misunderstanding, then?

22
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:05,885
- I am not having a go at him.
- No.

23
00:01:09,256 --> 00:01:11,611
- I'm just gonna pop into the...
- Okay.

24
00:01:17,176 --> 00:01:22,615
If Vinnie Jones comes near me
looking for a fight, I will unleash hell.

25
00:01:25,256 --> 00:01:26,326
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)

26
00:01:26,416 --> 00:01:29,056
Oh, saved by the bell. Not saved. Hello?

27
00:01:29,336 --> 00:01:31,486
- It's me. Can you talk?
- What is it?

28
00:01:31,576 --> 00:01:32,930
- I need a joke.
- What?

29
00:01:33,016 --> 00:01:34,006
I need a joke.

30
00:01:34,096 --> 00:01:36,929
He's just told me this big long joke,
and I didn't understand it,

31
00:01:37,016 --> 00:01:39,405
and now he thinks I'm a tit. I need a joke.

32
00:01:39,496 --> 00:01:42,773
Can you just text me it?
Send me a naughty joke.

33
00:01:42,856 --> 00:01:45,245
- All right.
- Thanks. He's coming back. Bye.

34
00:01:48,696 --> 00:01:52,291
- Anything you fancy?
- Possibly.

35
00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:55,212
- I meant on the menu.
- Yeah, I know.

36
00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:03,649
(MOBILE PHONE BEEPING)

37
00:02:07,136 --> 00:02:10,731
Oh, I've just remembered,
I've got a joke for you.

38
00:02:10,816 --> 00:02:11,806
Okay.

39
00:02:11,896 --> 00:02:14,615
This is a particular favourite of mine.

40
00:02:14,856 --> 00:02:17,086
Let me just think. What is it?

41
00:02:19,536 --> 00:02:21,573
Why do seagulls have wings?

42
00:02:21,656 --> 00:02:23,886
I don't know. Why do seagulls have wings?

43
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:27,692
To beat the gypos to the tip.

44
00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:34,250
And that's it.

45
00:02:36,336 --> 00:02:38,088
To beat the what to the tip?

46
00:02:38,896 --> 00:02:41,456
- Gypos.
- Right.

47
00:02:41,976 --> 00:02:44,775
You know "gypo" is an offensive term, right?

48
00:02:44,856 --> 00:02:47,689
It's like saying "yid" or "wop" or something.

49
00:02:48,096 --> 00:02:50,610
That joke was quite racist.

50
00:02:50,696 --> 00:02:52,812
No, no. I didn't... No, it's not racist.

51
00:02:52,896 --> 00:02:56,605
I think, I mean, if it's ridiculing anyone,
it's ridiculing the seagull.

52
00:02:56,896 --> 00:02:58,569
- How's that?
- Well, think about it.

53
00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:02,047
Gypsies, they can see something,
"I'll have a bit of that, sell it on."

54
00:03:02,136 --> 00:03:03,615
They're all right, they're laughing.

55
00:03:03,696 --> 00:03:06,290
What's a seagull gonna do
when it gets to the tip?

56
00:03:06,376 --> 00:03:09,812
It's not got hands. It's got...
It's got its wings, doesn't it?

57
00:03:10,976 --> 00:03:14,606
You are aware Gypsies are a race.
They're an ethnic group.

58
00:03:14,696 --> 00:03:17,370
And historically,
they've been persecuted much like the Jews.

59
00:03:17,456 --> 00:03:20,494
No, no. I'm not talking about those old ones.

60
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,169
I'm not talking about that sort.

61
00:03:22,256 --> 00:03:26,454
I'm talking about, like, the dodgy ones,
the grimy ones that work at fairgrounds.

62
00:03:26,536 --> 00:03:29,130
God, me? I love Gypsies. I do.

63
00:03:29,216 --> 00:03:32,208
I mean, I think I actually have got
a bit of Gypsy blood in me.

64
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,731
Like, you know, I like travelling.

65
00:03:35,336 --> 00:03:37,612
I don't like paying taxes.