1 00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:37,517 'And it's Divorce Referendum in the lead, followed by Glory Be To God. 2 00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,718 'Glory Be To God creeps ahead of Divorce Referendum.' 3 00:00:40,801 --> 00:00:43,951 Come on, Divorce Referendum! Come on! 4 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,554 'Divorce Referendum is way in front. 5 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,756 'Divorce Referendum is speeding towards victory.' 6 00:00:50,838 --> 00:00:52,396 - Yes, yes! - 'Oh, no!' 7 00:00:52,478 --> 00:00:54,514 'Disaster for Divorce Referendum 8 00:00:54,598 --> 00:00:56,872 'as he turns in the opposite direction 9 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,947 'and simply runs off the course.' 10 00:00:59,716 --> 00:01:01,832 Oh, flip! 11 00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:04,475 You flipping, flipping flipper! 12 00:01:04,555 --> 00:01:07,671 Oh, it's the knacker's yard for you, pal! 13 00:01:07,754 --> 00:01:09,107 (Door bangs ) 14 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:12,469 (Man on radio ) 'So what role do you see the Church assuming?' 15 00:01:12,553 --> 00:01:14,941 Hello, Ted. What are you listening to? 16 00:01:15,032 --> 00:01:20,025 Oh, it's just a programme about the Church and God and so on. 17 00:01:20,111 --> 00:01:22,067 Oh, right. Right. 18 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:27,619 Where's Father Jack, Dougal? 19 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:30,939 - Where's Father Jack? - Yes. 20 00:01:31,028 --> 00:01:33,542 Father Jack, where is he? 21 00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:35,618 He's in his... Oh. 22 00:01:35,707 --> 00:01:39,494 - Erm... - You've lost him again, right? 23 00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:41,895 I have, Ted, yeah. 24 00:01:41,986 --> 00:01:47,013 You took him out for a walk and you lost him...again. 25 00:01:47,104 --> 00:01:49,618 That must've been what happened all right. 26 00:01:49,704 --> 00:01:52,342 So what have you got to say for yourself? 27 00:01:52,423 --> 00:01:55,573 Well, like I said the last time, it won't happen again. 28 00:01:55,662 --> 00:01:58,335 Dougal, are you not going to go and look for him? 29 00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:01,697 Ted, he'll come back. What's the worst that can happen? 30 00:02:01,781 --> 00:02:04,135 He could have an accident and be killed. 31 00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:06,097 Oh. 32 00:02:07,899 --> 00:02:11,368 Er, wait a second, Ted. Is that not Jack there? 33 00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:13,210 (Snoring) 34 00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:16,926 Ah, Dougal. You didn't even get him out the door, did you? 35 00:02:17,017 --> 00:02:21,248 I thought the wheelchair felt a bit lighter today all right. 36 00:02:22,416 --> 00:02:24,326 Come on, help me get him up. 37 00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:26,485 (Groaning) 38 00:02:28,654 --> 00:02:31,043 (Jack muttering) 39 00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:34,205 - Dougal, take off his gloves. - Right so, Ted. 40 00:02:36,212 --> 00:02:37,691 - Ted. - Hmm? 41 00:02:37,772 --> 00:02:39,285 Ted, they're not gloves. 42 00:02:41,851 --> 00:02:46,207 God, they're very hairy hands altogether, aren't they? 43 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,041 - What's wrong? - I don't know. 44 00:02:48,129 --> 00:02:51,564 Do you remember the time his head went septic? 45 00:02:51,648 --> 00:02:55,799 Yes. I mean, I didn't think a whole head could go septic. 46 00:02:55,887 --> 00:02:58,037 I mean, a whole head, you know? 47 00:02:58,127 --> 00:03:01,596 But that's Jack for you. I'd better look in the book. 48 00:03:07,644 --> 00:03:08,997 Right. 49 00:03:11,084 --> 00:03:13,199 Hold his hand up there, Dougal. 50 00:03:14,323 --> 00:03:18,474 Well, he got up to stage four after drinking that brake fluid. 51 00:03:18,562 --> 00:03:20,791 I think this could be a stage six. 52 00:03:20,881 --> 00:03:23,917 - Hello to the lot of yous. - Hello, Mrs Doyle. 53 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,992 Ah, would you look at him there with his hairy hands? 54 00:03:28,079 --> 00:03:31,628 Yes, and we're going to have to call Dr Sinnot. 55 00:03:31,718 --> 00:03:34,596 He's good. I had to go myself a couple of weeks ago. 56 00:03:34,678 --> 00:03:37,669 Really? I didn't know you were ill. What was the trouble? 57 00:03:37,757 --> 00:03:40,953 A bit of a woman's problem. I was having a bit of trouble... 58 00:03:41,036 --> 00:03:43,630 I'd better ring him before it's too late! 59 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,113 (Phone buzzes ) 60 00:03:50,994 --> 00:03:53,826 - So it's the hairy hands. - Yes. 61 00:03:53,913 --> 00:03:56,426 - A stage six? - It looks like it, yeah. 62 00:03:56,512 --> 00:03:58,468 I'll get ready upstairs. 63 00:03:59,392 --> 00:04:01,541 Ted, why is Jack so scared of doctors? 64 00:04:01,631 --> 00:04:06,101 They remind him of illness and his own mortality. 65 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:07,986 He hated visiting the sick. 66 00:04:08,069 --> 00:04:11,823 Oh, God, he hates the sick. And the poor as well. 67 00:04:11,908 --> 00:04:14,547 - The poor really got on his nerves. - And the needy. 68 00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:16,345 (Sighing) Them as well. 69 00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:19,578 What was it he used to say? He had a term for them. 70 00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:22,226 - A shower of bastards. - That was it. 71 00:04:22,306 --> 00:04:25,217 When we bring the doctor in, just behave normal. 72 00:04:25,305 --> 00:04:27,614 Just pretend he's a normal visitor. 73 00:04:27,705 --> 00:04:29,979 We don't want Jack to suspect anything. 74 00:04:30,064 --> 00:04:31,622 Doctor? Ready? 75 00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:34,661 All right, in you go. Remember... 76 00:04:34,743 --> 00:04:36,653 completely normal. 77 00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,850 So it's off to St Clabbert's again, Doctor? 78 00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:44,498 Yes. 79 00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:46,810 It's more for your sake than for his. 80 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,811 That hair thing can be very contagious. 81 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:53,810 - How long will they have him? - Hard to say. 82 00:04:53,898 --> 00:04:57,890 Could be for a while. Actually, you should be prepared. 83 00:04:57,977 --> 00:05:01,446 It might be better for his own sake if he doesn't come back. 84 00:05:01,536 --> 00:05:03,492 Great! I mean, oh, no. 85 00:05:04,775 --> 00:05:07,653 We'll just have to grin and bear it, I suppose. 86 00:05:07,735 --> 00:05:11,044 I'll try and break it to him gently. Thanks, Doctor. 87 00:05:17,292 --> 00:05:20,045 Yes! Wahey! 88 00:05:28,569 --> 00:05:30,446 Father Jack? 89 00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:34,362 Do you remember that great time you had at St Clabbert's? 90 00:05:36,887 --> 00:05:41,084 Remember the fun you had with those nuns fussing about you? 91 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:45,716 Dr Sinnot thinks another spell there would do a world of good. 92 00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:49,194 Ok, it might mean giving up the odd glass of sherry or two, 93 00:05:49,284 --> 00:05:51,161 but that's all for your own good. 94 00:05:51,244 --> 00:05:52,995 You'll have a fantastic time, 95 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:56,597 it'll be one big laugh with all those nuns fussing all the... 96 00:05:56,682 --> 00:05:58,115 Father? Father? 97 00:05:58,202 --> 00:06:00,999 Where's he gone? 98 00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:02,400 (Motor chugging) 99 00:06:11,799 --> 00:06:15,393 God, Ted, how did the sergeant catch Father Jack at all? 100 00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:17,035 Well, Dougal... 101 00:06:17,117 --> 00:06:21,632 He's an elderly priest driving a Flymo around a small island. 102 00:06:21,716 --> 00:06:23,468 How hard could it be? 103 00:06:23,556 --> 00:06:26,388 Anyway, he's up there in St Clabbert's now. 104 00:06:26,475 --> 00:06:29,147 It's weird the way you get used to something. 105 00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:32,510 Seems like only yesterday he was here drinking his head off. 106 00:06:36,712 --> 00:06:38,782 Dougal, it was yesterday. 107 00:06:38,872 --> 00:06:42,341 Yeah, but that's why I said it SEEMED like yesterday. 108 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,700 Right, because it WAS yesterday. 109 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:49,941 Yeah. What time are Father Rory and Father k en coming on Wednesday? 110 00:06:50,029 --> 00:06:51,667 About six. 111 00:06:51,749 --> 00:06:53,704 Six o'clock? 112 00:06:56,228 --> 00:06:58,900 - Yes. - Right. Good, good. 113 00:06:58,987 --> 00:07:01,819 Actually, it's just as well Jack's not here. 114 00:07:01,906 --> 00:07:04,466 He can get very irritable around strangers. 115 00:07:04,546 --> 00:07:06,900 Jack was very bad around strangers. 116 00:07:06,985 --> 00:07:09,179 And people he knew. 117 00:07:10,584 --> 00:07:13,541 Yes, very bad around strangers and people he knew. 118 00:07:14,623 --> 00:07:17,534 - Anyway, night, Dougal. - Night, Ted. 119 00:07:19,822 --> 00:07:21,777 (Ted) Aw, damn! 120 00:07:31,019 --> 00:07:32,532 (Whistling) 121 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,770 No, Dougal, it's not morning. I forgot to wind the clock. 122 00:07:36,858 --> 00:07:39,576 Oh, right. Sorry about that, Ted. 123 00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:08,922 Hello there, Father... 124 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,204 Father... Who are you? 125 00:08:11,289 --> 00:08:12,563 Who are you? 126 00:08:12,649 --> 00:08:15,765 Father Ted Crilly. Very pleased to meet you. 127 00:08:15,848 --> 00:08:17,997 Oh. What's this? 128 00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:22,562 Oh, I see. It's from the Bishop. 129 00:08:22,646 --> 00:08:25,001 You're taking Father Jack's place. 130 00:08:25,086 --> 00:08:28,202 This is a surprise. Has Mrs Doyle shown you around? 131 00:08:30,764 --> 00:08:32,880 Well, anyway, welcome to Craggy Island. 132 00:08:32,964 --> 00:08:35,921 The meals are at 11, one, half-two, three, 133 00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:37,674 five, seven and nine. 134 00:08:37,762 --> 00:08:41,470 And if you ever want a snack, you can ask Mrs Doyle. 135 00:08:42,961 --> 00:08:46,111 No, er... No, actually, that's actually mine. 136 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:50,512 Well, you go ahead there and have it anyway. 137 00:08:52,119 --> 00:08:54,188 Dougal, this is Father Fintan Stack. 138 00:08:54,278 --> 00:08:56,109 He'll be staying with us now. 139 00:08:56,198 --> 00:08:58,074 Oh, right, yeah. 140 00:08:58,157 --> 00:09:00,432 This is the brains of the operation. 141 00:09:00,517 --> 00:09:02,268 Ah, no, that'd be Ted. 142 00:09:03,636 --> 00:09:05,467 I wanna listen to some music. 143 00:09:05,555 --> 00:09:07,034 Oh, go ahead, there. 144 00:09:07,115 --> 00:09:09,787 I wasn't asking for permission. 145 00:09:11,674 --> 00:09:13,629 ( # Jungle music) 146 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:28,547 ( # Muffled thumping music) 147 00:09:35,148 --> 00:09:37,945 So, erm... What do you think of Father Stack? 148 00:09:38,027 --> 00:09:39,619 Well, erm... 149 00:09:39,707 --> 00:09:44,734 It says in his note that they never found a suitable parish for him. 150 00:09:46,465 --> 00:09:50,252 - He's not a very nice man, is he? - I've never met anyone like him. 151 00:09:50,344 --> 00:09:53,780 Who would he be like? Hitler or one of those mad fellows? 152 00:09:55,143 --> 00:09:56,622 Oh, worse than Hitler. 153 00:09:56,703 --> 00:10:00,900 You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at three in the morning. 154 00:10:00,982 --> 00:10:03,620 God, he almost makes Jack seem normal. 155 00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:05,373 You know, he nearly does. 156 00:10:05,461 --> 00:10:07,132 (Howling) 157 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,333 Right, carry on. 158 00:10:11,419 --> 00:10:14,216 I was going to say you'd almost miss Father Jack. 159 00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:16,175 He had his funny little ways. 160 00:10:16,258 --> 00:10:19,966 But whenever he'd hit you, he'd never do it out of spite. 161 00:10:20,057 --> 00:10:21,570 He'd only do it because... 162 00:10:21,657 --> 00:10:23,965 he thought it was funny or whatever. 163 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:27,206 I suppose when you think about it now, it was funny. 164 00:10:28,455 --> 00:10:31,969 Remember that time he gave you a big kick up the b-o-t-t-y? 165 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:37,050 And do you remember when you were bending over him, 166 00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:42,569 and he held your nose so tight that you had to open your mouth 167 00:10:42,651 --> 00:10:45,006 and then he dropped a big spider in it? 168 00:10:47,050 --> 00:10:49,006 No, that wasn't funny, Dougal. 169 00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:51,523 It was funny when he kicked you up the arse. 170 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,486 It wasn't funny when he put the spider in my mouth. 171 00:10:54,568 --> 00:10:57,958 - It was, Ted. - No, it wasn't, Dougal! 172 00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:00,163 - Ah, Ted. - Dougal! 173 00:11:00,247 --> 00:11:02,396 Anyway, he's gone now. 174 00:11:03,806 --> 00:11:06,683 It's funny how you miss someone's little ways. 175 00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:08,244 (Sighing) 176 00:11:20,242 --> 00:11:21,721 (Sighing) 177 00:11:23,761 --> 00:11:25,035 (Screaming) 178 00:11:47,115 --> 00:11:49,345 ( # Muffled jungle continues ) 179 00:11:50,914 --> 00:11:53,030 God, I've had enough. 180 00:11:53,114 --> 00:11:56,583 It sounds like someone drilling holes in a wall or something. 181 00:11:56,673 --> 00:11:58,628 - I'll have a word. - Careful. 182 00:12:11,669 --> 00:12:12,943 Come on, I think he's out. 183 00:12:13,029 --> 00:12:15,496 - What's up, Ted? - Ted's gone mad. 184 00:12:15,588 --> 00:12:17,738 - Lead on, MacTed! - Shh. 185 00:12:20,227 --> 00:12:23,457 - Right, the coast is clear. - Father Jack's not here? 186 00:12:23,546 --> 00:12:26,742 No, he has the hair thing again. He's in Jurassic Park. 187 00:12:26,825 --> 00:12:31,614 Oh, right. St Clabbert's. Father Walton's up there, I hear. 188 00:12:31,704 --> 00:12:33,660 - Sherry all right? - Lovely. 189 00:12:33,744 --> 00:12:36,177 Did you know Father Coogan at all, Ted? 190 00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:40,653 Hmm... Oh, yes. Father Tom Coogan. Wasn't he in Africa? 191 00:12:40,742 --> 00:12:43,380 He was, with Father Shortall and that load. 192 00:12:43,461 --> 00:12:45,179 Then he was back in Wicklow. 193 00:12:45,261 --> 00:12:48,332 I think Windy Shepherd Henderson was his priest there. 194 00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:51,172 Windy Shepherd Henderson that was in Tralee? 195 00:12:51,259 --> 00:12:53,534 No, a different Windy Shepherd Henderson. 196 00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:55,768 - There's four of them. - At least. 197 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:58,691 One of them was with Father Daley in Chicago. 198 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:03,247 Wasn't he the first man on the scene when Malcom X was assassinated? 199 00:13:03,336 --> 00:13:05,054 No, that was Father Burke. 200 00:13:05,136 --> 00:13:08,525 Father Daley had the lump on his head in the shape of Connaught. 201 00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:12,812 Like Father Caroline - he lost the use of his ears in an accident. 202 00:13:12,894 --> 00:13:16,010 - He's deaf? - No, just lost the use of his ears. 203 00:13:16,093 --> 00:13:18,129 He used to be able to wiggle them. 204 00:13:18,213 --> 00:13:20,851 Remember Father O'Reilly? He's in Clare. 205 00:13:20,932 --> 00:13:24,560 They moved him after he owned up to that OJ Simpson thing. 206 00:13:25,451 --> 00:13:28,283 Father Bigley from Ardee did his wedding, I think. 207 00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:31,964 - Father Bigley? Is he not dead? - No, he just looked dead. 208 00:13:32,049 --> 00:13:34,722 Ted, did you say Father Larry Duff was coming? 209 00:13:34,809 --> 00:13:36,719 God, I'd better give him a call. 210 00:13:36,808 --> 00:13:40,197 I hope he can make it. Larry is tremendous fun. 211 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,321 (Mobile phone ) 212 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,436 Ahh! 213 00:13:55,164 --> 00:13:57,358 No, he must have it turned off. 214 00:13:58,723 --> 00:14:00,474 God, I wonder where Dougal is? 215 00:14:00,562 --> 00:14:03,837 Come on, Ted. Shall we watch the sports video? 216 00:14:03,921 --> 00:14:06,355 Oh, yes. Come on, Ted. 217 00:14:06,441 --> 00:14:09,432 Ah, here's the lads. And away they go! 218 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,837 Ah, look at your man at the back! 219 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,476 I remember this. 220 00:14:15,558 --> 00:14:18,356 (All cheering) 221 00:14:20,837 --> 00:14:23,555 (All) Look at Mrs Doyle! 222 00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:26,946 - She looks great on the telly! - She's wearing the hat for a bet! 223 00:14:27,036 --> 00:14:29,833 (Ted) I'd say so. Oh, here's Buckin' Bronco! 224 00:14:31,594 --> 00:14:33,550 Or Hopalong Cassidy. 225 00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:39,230 - Here's the champ. - Fair play. Fair play to him. 226 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,064 (Cheering) 227 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,421 What are we watching? 228 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,387 We're looking at the sports day. 229 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:52,506 Lots of young fellows running around in shorts. 230 00:14:52,589 --> 00:14:55,625 That's the kind of thing you like looking at. 231 00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:57,664 And I bet you like that, too. 232 00:14:57,748 --> 00:15:01,706 You're probably imagining what they'd look like without shorts. 233 00:15:01,787 --> 00:15:04,254 You're sitting there, imagining that, 234 00:15:04,346 --> 00:15:06,860 with a big smile on your face. 235 00:15:07,745 --> 00:15:09,701 You dirty fecker. 236 00:15:11,425 --> 00:15:14,575 If you're trying to embarrass us, you're not succeeding. 237 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,733 Yes, I am. 238 00:15:16,823 --> 00:15:20,610 Well, I have to say, I think that you're a very rude man. 239 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,455 If you ever say that to me again, 240 00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:26,214 I'll put your head through the wall. 241 00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:30,769 (Crashing) 242 00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:34,295 - Dougal, where did you go to? - Ted! How are you? 243 00:15:34,379 --> 00:15:36,812 - Dougal, what the...? - Yes? What, Ted? 244 00:15:36,898 --> 00:15:38,934 - What? - What? 245 00:15:39,018 --> 00:15:41,247 - Have you been drinking? - I have, Ted. 246 00:15:41,337 --> 00:15:43,487 I been drinking like a mad eejit. 247 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,084 No, no, wait. 248 00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:50,690 No, I haven't. 249 00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,651 Dougal, I'm ashamed of you. 250 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:56,282 Ted, Ted, Ted. Come here, Teddy, Teddy, Ted. 251 00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:00,604 You're my best friend. God, I love being a priest. 252 00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:03,889 We're all going to heaven, lads, wahey! 253 00:16:05,651 --> 00:16:07,209 Perhaps I should explain. 254 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:12,079 Your friend and I were enjoying a bottle of whisky I found upstairs. 255 00:16:12,169 --> 00:16:14,478 Well, that is the last straw. 256 00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:18,038 I'm driving. I'm driving home, I'm perfectly capable. 257 00:16:18,128 --> 00:16:20,402 By the way, I got the keys of your car 258 00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:22,842 and I drove it into a big wall. 259 00:16:22,927 --> 00:16:25,565 If you don't like it, tough. 260 00:16:25,646 --> 00:16:29,001 I had my fun and that's all that matters. 261 00:16:29,085 --> 00:16:32,077 - Ted, I can see up your trousers. - Right. That's it. 262 00:16:32,164 --> 00:16:35,395 I thought giving alcohol to Dougal was the last straw, 263 00:16:35,484 --> 00:16:37,474 but it was the second last straw, 264 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,952 because this is definitely the last bit of straw in...the thing. 265 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,033 There is no more straw left! 266 00:16:43,122 --> 00:16:46,397 - Ted, it's a little late. - Yes, I think we should go. 267 00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:49,313 - No, you don't have to go. - I think we should. 268 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,550 Woooo! 269 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,595 Bye, girls! 270 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:54,953 Pair of wankers. 271 00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:59,634 Oh! Come on, Dougal, we've had enough of Father Stack for one evening. 272 00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:01,514 To the pub, Ted! 273 00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:03,315 ( # Jungle music) 274 00:17:37,228 --> 00:17:40,504 - Hey, Ted, what's going on? - We're going to kidnap Jack. 275 00:17:40,587 --> 00:17:43,624 kidnapping, wow! What will we get for him? 276 00:17:43,707 --> 00:17:46,982 - Shut up, Dougal. You ready? - I'm with you, Ted. 277 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,817 Right so, let's go, then. 278 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,860 (Doorbell) 279 00:17:55,424 --> 00:17:57,175 Hello? 280 00:18:03,742 --> 00:18:05,493 - This is a bit mad, Ted. - Shh! 281 00:18:05,581 --> 00:18:07,936 Why don't we ask the nuns to give him back? 282 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,898 Dr Sinnot said moving him might be dangerous. 283 00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,731 Anyway, I got a second opinion. 284 00:18:12,819 --> 00:18:15,014 - Who from? - Mrs Doyle. 285 00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:18,977 Ted, I'm not sure if this is a good idea. I mean, kidnapping! 286 00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:22,333 It's not kidnapping, it's bringing him back to where he belongs. 287 00:18:22,417 --> 00:18:26,250 It's like Lassie Come Home, with Father Jack as Lassie. 288 00:18:26,336 --> 00:18:29,725 - Who are we, then? - I don't konw. The other people. 289 00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:32,329 You're Roddy McDowell and I'm Liz Taylor. 290 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:36,043 Fine. I just wanted to get that straight in me head. 291 00:18:36,134 --> 00:18:38,089 - Right, let's go. - Right. 292 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:47,482 - Come on, Dougal. - (Shouting) Right behind you! 293 00:18:47,571 --> 00:18:49,162 Shut up! k eep it quiet. 294 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,003 Look around and see if there's a light switch. 295 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,045 (All shouting) 296 00:18:57,528 --> 00:18:58,927 (Silence ) 297 00:18:59,008 --> 00:19:02,556 - (Nun ) What's all that noise?! - Quick, Dougal, here. 298 00:19:09,085 --> 00:19:11,076 (Nun ) Calm down, all of you! 299 00:19:11,165 --> 00:19:13,917 Some people are trying to get some sleep! 300 00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:18,199 Arse! Feck! Oh! 301 00:19:35,479 --> 00:19:38,038 Dougal, that's not Father Jack. 302 00:19:41,078 --> 00:19:42,874 - Hello, Father Walton. - Feck off! 303 00:19:42,957 --> 00:19:47,313 - Will he not do, Ted? - No. I don't think so, no. 304 00:19:47,396 --> 00:19:50,705 A stage 12. I never thought I'd see one. 305 00:19:50,795 --> 00:19:53,308 Ah, Ted, can we not keep him? 306 00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:55,828 No. Come on, let's get Father Jack. 307 00:19:57,074 --> 00:19:59,792 - You got the torch, Dougal? - Yes. 308 00:19:59,873 --> 00:20:01,430 - Arse! - Feck! 309 00:20:01,512 --> 00:20:02,945 - Drink! - Girls! 310 00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:04,147 - Drink! - Feck! 311 00:20:04,232 --> 00:20:05,187 - Drink! - Feck! 312 00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:06,590 - Arse! - Girls! 313 00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:09,662 (Posh voice ) I really shouldn't be here. 314 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,024 - Drink! - Drink! 315 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,225 - Drink! - Drink! 316 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:15,381 Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls! 317 00:20:17,668 --> 00:20:20,182 (Jack) Drink! Drink! 318 00:20:21,707 --> 00:20:25,017 Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 319 00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:29,981 - All right, Father, all right. - Drink! Drink! 320 00:20:30,065 --> 00:20:31,657 Drink! 321 00:20:31,745 --> 00:20:36,260 Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 322 00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:40,302 - Drink! Drink! - Try upstairs, Father. 323 00:20:40,383 --> 00:20:42,179 (Jack whimpering) 324 00:20:45,542 --> 00:20:49,658 - Jumping on my picture again? - You got a problem with that? 325 00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:52,857 - None. Enjoy yourself. - What was all that noise? 326 00:20:52,940 --> 00:20:55,612 That's Father Jack, the fellow you replaced. 327 00:20:55,699 --> 00:20:58,132 Tell him to get lost. I'm here now. 328 00:20:58,218 --> 00:21:01,210 You might like the pleasure of telling him yourself. 329 00:21:01,298 --> 00:21:03,333 And what happened to his whisky. 330 00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:05,612 (Shattering glass, screaming) 331 00:21:05,696 --> 00:21:07,015 He'll fill you in. 332 00:21:07,096 --> 00:21:08,973 I'm supposed to be scared? 333 00:21:09,056 --> 00:21:10,283 Drink! 334 00:21:25,292 --> 00:21:28,681 - Listen to that, Dougal. - I don't hear anything. 335 00:21:28,771 --> 00:21:31,682 That's what I mean. The sound of silence. 336 00:21:31,770 --> 00:21:34,408 No, I still don't hear anything. 337 00:21:34,489 --> 00:21:39,243 I'm sorry I didn't disinfect Jack's chair like you told me. 338 00:21:39,328 --> 00:21:42,000 It's my fault that lad got the hair thing. 339 00:21:42,087 --> 00:21:45,841 Don't worry. I'm sure he's fine up in Jurassic Park. 340 00:21:45,926 --> 00:21:48,645 Best place for him. k eep him out of trouble. 341 00:21:48,726 --> 00:21:51,478 Anyway, how are we getting on in there, Father? 342 00:21:51,565 --> 00:21:53,795 It's a great invention, isn't it? 343 00:21:53,885 --> 00:21:55,681 And no more St Clabbert's. 344 00:21:55,764 --> 00:21:59,153 (Muffled) Drink! Drink! Drink! 345 00:21:59,243 --> 00:22:02,120 Anyway, time for bed. Come on, Dougal. 346 00:22:02,202 --> 00:22:07,070 (Muffled) Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 347 00:22:07,161 --> 00:22:12,234 Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 348 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,469 Drink! 349 00:22:18,278 --> 00:22:23,067 (Man on loudhailer) 'Fathers, please. Calm down. 350 00:22:23,157 --> 00:22:27,115 'Someone step in there, please. That really is not on. 351 00:22:27,196 --> 00:22:28,993 'You're ruining it. 352 00:22:29,076 --> 00:22:31,635 'Sister, if you could just step in there.' 353 00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:38,713 Break it up, break it up, Fathers. 354 00:22:38,793 --> 00:22:40,704 Break it up. 355 00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:41,942 Put that down. 356 00:22:44,032 --> 00:22:48,183 (Men ) Drink! Arse! Drink! Feck! Girls! Drink! Arse! 357 00:22:48,271 --> 00:22:50,420 (Nun ) Good night, Fathers! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net