1
00:01:07,183 --> 00:01:09,299
Oh, come on now, lads.
2
00:01:09,343 --> 00:01:12,140
Quixiquoddal,
the Volcano God is angry.
3
00:01:12,182 --> 00:01:14,173
We must appease his wrath!
4
00:01:14,222 --> 00:01:17,055
Volcano God!
What kind of nonsense is that?
5
00:01:17,102 --> 00:01:20,731
I'll ask you one more time,
will you not give Catholicism a try?
6
00:01:20,782 --> 00:01:23,090
(Irish accent) It wouldn't catch on.
7
00:01:23,141 --> 00:01:26,292
We don't agree with the Pope's line
on contraception.
8
00:01:26,341 --> 00:01:28,332
It's the '90s for God's sake!
9
00:01:28,381 --> 00:01:30,372
(Ted screaming)
10
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,691
Cup of tea, Father?
11
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:41,054
Father? Cup of tea?
12
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:45,297
Father, what's the matter with you?
You're a million miles away.
13
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,807
Hmm? Oh, sorry, Mrs Doyle.
14
00:01:47,859 --> 00:01:50,578
I was just thinking about
my next parish.
15
00:01:50,619 --> 00:01:54,611
Bishop Brennan is always threatening
to send me somewhere unpleasant
16
00:01:54,658 --> 00:01:58,173
and this time I think he just might
go through with it. You see...
17
00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,254
I'm going to kick him up the arse.
18
00:02:01,377 --> 00:02:04,289
Oh, that!
I don't think he'd mind that.
19
00:02:04,337 --> 00:02:08,569
I'd say he'd love a good,
big, hard kick up the arse.
20
00:02:09,617 --> 00:02:13,450
Ted! Clint Eastwood has been arrested
for a crime he didn't...
21
00:02:13,496 --> 00:02:15,487
Oh, wait, no, it's a film.
22
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,489
Do you really have
to kick him up the arse?
23
00:02:21,535 --> 00:02:25,323
I lost the bet, Dougal.
I have to do my forfeit.
24
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:28,572
Do you remember when Dick Byrne
lost the darts tournament
25
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:32,766
and he had to say "Bollocks" very
loudly in front of Mary Robinson?
26
00:02:32,814 --> 00:02:35,203
He's not gonna let me away
with this one.
27
00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:38,166
You're right.
There's a code of honour involved.
28
00:02:39,214 --> 00:02:40,805
You could lie to him.
29
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:45,728
No, he's insisted that
you take a photograph as proof.
30
00:02:45,773 --> 00:02:48,162
Oh, God, Dougal, what can I do?
31
00:02:48,213 --> 00:02:50,521
- I like this parish.
- Do you?!
32
00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:53,086
Well, no.
33
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,850
Look at it this way.
34
00:02:54,892 --> 00:02:58,441
Bishop Brennan has only visited us
twice in the last three years.
35
00:02:58,492 --> 00:03:02,120
He hates us. He thinks we're
all eejits. Especially you, Ted.
36
00:03:02,171 --> 00:03:04,844
He thinks you're
the biggest eejit of them all.
37
00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:07,166
Head honcho eejit number one!
38
00:03:07,211 --> 00:03:09,361
He may never come here again.
39
00:03:09,411 --> 00:03:11,401
(Phone )
40
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:21,843
Hello, Bishop Brennan.
41
00:03:21,889 --> 00:03:23,880
Yes. Ok.
42
00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:30,277
- He's coming tomorrow.
- Oh, no. Why?
43
00:03:30,328 --> 00:03:32,922
What I gather
is that Father Dick Byrne
44
00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:35,926
has told Bishop Brennan
of a miraculous image
45
00:03:35,968 --> 00:03:40,040
that's been appearing in the
skirting boards of the house here.
46
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,885
He told Bishop Brennan
that in the wood grain
47
00:03:43,927 --> 00:03:48,159
you can see what appears to be a
perfect likeness of...Bishop Brennan.
48
00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:52,438
- You found out all that just there?
- Yes, he's very excited about it.
49
00:03:52,486 --> 00:03:56,798
Images appearing on skirting boards.
That's a bit wacky, isn't it?
50
00:03:56,846 --> 00:03:58,757
It's strange all right.
51
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,922
It's like the Turin Shroud
or that woman in Sligo.
52
00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:04,684
Padre Pio keeps appearing
in her teabags.
53
00:04:04,725 --> 00:04:08,513
Or the time I saw God's face
in that painting. That was strange.
54
00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:13,076
It wasn't that strange,
it was a painting of God.
55
00:04:13,124 --> 00:04:16,639
Have you heard about
the mystery of the Mud Angel?
56
00:04:16,684 --> 00:04:19,675
- The mystery of the Mud Angel?
- God, it's weird.
57
00:04:19,723 --> 00:04:22,681
Every week in the mud
outside O'Leary's pub,
58
00:04:22,723 --> 00:04:25,920
there's a perfect outline of a man -
the Mud Angel.
59
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,158
Mystery solved.
60
00:04:37,202 --> 00:04:40,398
Still, visions and apparitions,
it is a bit odd.
61
00:04:40,441 --> 00:04:44,639
It's one of those areas of
Catholicism that's frankly a bit mad.
62
00:04:44,681 --> 00:04:47,718
The whole Catholic thing's
a bit of a puzzler, isn't it?
63
00:04:47,761 --> 00:04:49,557
Careful, Dougal.
64
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,557
- I'm a bit afraid of Len, though.
- Join the club.
65
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,354
I won't worry about it. The worst
thing is to keep thinking about it
66
00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:01,836
and become so anxious and obsessed
that you can't sleep. That's just...
67
00:05:01,879 --> 00:05:05,189
Dougal? Dougal!
68
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:09,231
Wh-What! What? God that was weird.
What happened there?
69
00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:14,951
The last thing I remember
is feeling very drowsy and tired...
70
00:05:14,998 --> 00:05:18,592
then I can't remember
anything at all after that.
71
00:05:20,317 --> 00:05:23,389
Yes, Dougal.
It's called "falling asleep".
72
00:05:23,437 --> 00:05:25,428
You do it every night.
73
00:05:25,477 --> 00:05:28,309
I don't know why you're finding it
so easy to drop off.
74
00:05:28,356 --> 00:05:31,234
Today you're going to be taking
a photograph of me
75
00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:34,427
kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse,
and he won't like that.
76
00:05:34,476 --> 00:05:38,104
Imagine someone taking a photo of you
being kicked up the arse.
77
00:05:45,755 --> 00:05:49,588
- I wouldn't like that at all!
- No, I thought you wouldn't.
78
00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:54,424
And his PA is coming, Father Jessup,
the most sarcastic priest in Ireland.
79
00:05:54,474 --> 00:05:57,670
- When Len comes around...
- Hold it right there.
80
00:05:57,713 --> 00:05:59,749
Don't call Len "Len," he's a bishop.
81
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,990
- What are you not to call him?
- Len.
82
00:06:03,913 --> 00:06:06,063
Very good. Now, just remember that.
83
00:06:06,113 --> 00:06:08,580
Len, Len, Len, Len,
Len, Len, Len, Len,
84
00:06:08,632 --> 00:06:11,100
Len, Len, Len, Len,
Len, Len, Len, Len.
85
00:06:11,152 --> 00:06:13,950
Ok, now let's get
a good night's sleep.
86
00:06:21,471 --> 00:06:24,508
It's morning.
We must have talked all night.
87
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,701
At least we have a few hours
before...
88
00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:29,025
(Alarm clock rings )
89
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:31,789
I set it early so we'll have
plenty of time before...
90
00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:32,819
(Doorbell)
91
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:38,179
Mrs Doyle, stall him
for a few seconds. Come on, Dougal.
92
00:06:41,269 --> 00:06:43,863
Hello.
93
00:06:43,909 --> 00:06:46,298
This is the housekeeper.
94
00:06:46,349 --> 00:06:49,784
Your Grace.
Is that a...a hat you're wearing?
95
00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:51,625
It's called a biretta.
96
00:06:51,668 --> 00:06:53,659
- Is it?
- Yes!
97
00:06:57,587 --> 00:07:00,579
Well, that's enough stalling.
In you go.
98
00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:02,822
(Ted) That's very true, Dougal.
99
00:07:02,867 --> 00:07:05,506
You see the importance
of the Eucharist in the Mass
100
00:07:05,547 --> 00:07:07,537
from what St Paul says here.
101
00:07:07,586 --> 00:07:09,338
The way I see it...
102
00:07:09,386 --> 00:07:12,219
Pretending to talk about religion.
Crilly!
103
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,621
Ah!
104
00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:16,656
Hello, Len.
105
00:07:18,145 --> 00:07:23,219
Don't call me Len, you little prick!
I'm a bishop!
106
00:07:23,265 --> 00:07:25,779
Oh, right. Well done.
107
00:07:28,184 --> 00:07:30,937
You know,
this type of thing 24 hours a day.
108
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:35,023
Crilly, I'll make this short.
Show me the likeness and I'll be off.
109
00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:38,453
I have to be off to Rome
for an audience with the Pope.
110
00:07:38,503 --> 00:07:43,054
I love those programmes. Have you
seen the one with Elton John?
111
00:07:44,223 --> 00:07:45,860
Shut up!
112
00:07:48,182 --> 00:07:51,094
Hello, Father Jessup.
Helping Bishop Brennan, then?
113
00:07:51,142 --> 00:07:55,215
No, I'm up in space
doing important work for NASA.
114
00:07:57,341 --> 00:07:59,218
Now, show me this thing.
115
00:08:00,261 --> 00:08:02,252
It's very like you, Your Grace.
116
00:08:02,301 --> 00:08:06,578
- Oh, really?
- You're better looking, of course.
117
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,896
I don't mean that in an intimate way.
118
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:13,012
Er... Nasty day.
Did you come by the new road?
119
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:16,415
No, we went round by Southern Yemen.
120
00:08:18,459 --> 00:08:20,893
Anyway, before we look at
the skirting board
121
00:08:20,939 --> 00:08:24,329
do you mind if Father McGuire
takes a few photographs?
122
00:08:35,897 --> 00:08:38,286
Oh, this is nothing! Nothing.
123
00:08:42,977 --> 00:08:47,288
I, um, I suppose...
I suppose we better go.
124
00:08:56,575 --> 00:08:58,805
Ah, now, this is a new one.
125
00:09:02,255 --> 00:09:05,530
B-B-Before we look at it,
perhaps we should say a prayer.
126
00:09:05,574 --> 00:09:08,884
No, I don't want...
All right, then. Carry on.
127
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:12,131
Oh, Lord, at this time of great joy
for Bishop Brennan,
128
00:09:12,174 --> 00:09:14,482
when you have seen fit
to put his face
129
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:16,842
into the skirting board of our house,
130
00:09:16,893 --> 00:09:21,125
we ask you to consider
the gift of forgiveness.
131
00:09:21,173 --> 00:09:24,801
You, who are the most forgiving
of all gods...
132
00:09:24,852 --> 00:09:27,412
Of all gods?
What other gods are there?
133
00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:31,243
Er...false gods.
134
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,486
Oh, Lord, heap blessings
upon wise Bishop Brennan,
135
00:09:36,531 --> 00:09:39,443
the best bishop in the world
by miles.
136
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:43,200
For he endureth without spite, amen.
137
00:09:44,410 --> 00:09:47,766
There it is, Your Grace, have a look,
it's under the window.
138
00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:49,209
Well...
139
00:09:52,810 --> 00:09:54,447
I don't see anything.
140
00:10:03,928 --> 00:10:05,919
What happened there?
141
00:10:06,728 --> 00:10:10,641
Crilly just...
jumped through the window.
142
00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:13,281
Crilly! Crilly, are you out there?
143
00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:16,319
What's going on?
Why did he jump through the window?
144
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:19,757
An Audience With Lily Savage,
that was good as well.
145
00:10:23,007 --> 00:10:27,045
- The Pope, that'll be just great.
- Why'd you jump through the window?
146
00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:28,963
I didn't jump through the window.
147
00:10:29,006 --> 00:10:31,474
You did.
You jumped through the window.
148
00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:36,041
Right... It was because of shock.
I saw your face, did you not see it?
149
00:10:36,085 --> 00:10:38,280
- No, I did not.
- Did you not?
150
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:40,919
- Did you see it, Dougal?
- No.
151
00:10:42,205 --> 00:10:44,195
God, it was extraordinary.
152
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,963
Do you not notice
the holy smell in the room?
153
00:10:48,004 --> 00:10:50,154
That might be Jack's
underpants hamper.
154
00:10:51,804 --> 00:10:54,442
I'll put it back in his room.
155
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:02,760
Look, it's uncanny. I'm surprised
you don't appear on more things.
156
00:11:02,802 --> 00:11:05,077
You're such
a top-of-the-range bishop.
157
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:08,717
Crilly, it is just
an indistinct squiggle.
158
00:11:08,762 --> 00:11:11,151
Come on, Jessup, we're leaving.
159
00:11:16,321 --> 00:11:18,277
Crilly, where is my cloak?
160
00:11:18,321 --> 00:11:22,359
Your Grace. Father Crilly,
I've just heard on the news
161
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,960
that they've taken the roads in.
162
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,708
- They've taken the roads in?
- Yes. When the rain is bad,
163
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,876
they store them in a warehouse
on the east of the island.
164
00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:38,071
What?! I have to be in Rome tomorrow
for an audience with the holy father!
165
00:11:38,119 --> 00:11:40,952
Don't worry, Len,
they repeat the shows all the time.
166
00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:45,351
They'll have the roads
back out by tomorrow.
167
00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:47,753
So we have to spend the night?
168
00:11:47,798 --> 00:11:49,311
Yes.
169
00:11:49,358 --> 00:11:51,588
Oh, bollocks.
170
00:11:51,638 --> 00:11:54,310
Will I make up the beds
in the spare room?
171
00:11:54,357 --> 00:11:57,235
No, we'll sleep outside in a ditch.
172
00:11:59,757 --> 00:12:01,508
Ok, so.
173
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:06,868
- Would you like a cup of tea?
- No, we'd rather die of thirst.
174
00:12:06,916 --> 00:12:08,508
Ok, so.
175
00:12:09,316 --> 00:12:14,548
Mrs Doyle, I think Father Jessup
was being a bit, er, sarcastic.
176
00:12:14,595 --> 00:12:17,951
What? Were you being sarcastic,
Father Jessup?
177
00:12:17,995 --> 00:12:20,145
No, we want to die of thirst.
178
00:12:21,794 --> 00:12:27,027
I know it's confusing but just do the
opposite of what Father Jessup says.
179
00:12:27,074 --> 00:12:28,268
Ok.
180
00:12:29,354 --> 00:12:35,189
So...you really do want...
a cup of tea?
181
00:12:37,953 --> 00:12:39,944
Yes.
182
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,790
(Snorting, muttering)
183
00:12:53,831 --> 00:12:57,619
Ah, the kraken awakes.
Did we disturb you, Father Hackett?
184
00:12:57,671 --> 00:12:59,468
Arse! Biscuits!
185
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:05,305
What?! How dare you speak to
His Grace like that.
186
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,147
Apologise immediately!
187
00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:18,666
(High-pitched voice )
I'm so, so, sorry.
188
00:13:23,148 --> 00:13:25,139
Now, that's sarcasm.
189
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:41,509
Dougal, there's no way I'll be able
to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse.
190
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:45,950
He's just too scary. I'd rather
take my chances in another parish.
191
00:13:52,438 --> 00:13:54,235
Oh, my God.
192
00:13:54,278 --> 00:13:58,509
I might have a way you can kick him
up the arse and get away with it.
193
00:13:58,557 --> 00:14:03,233
If you did, that would make you the
most intelligent person in the world.
194
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:06,872
- Do you think that's likely?
- I wouldn't go that far!
195
00:14:06,917 --> 00:14:10,511
I'm no Jeffrey Archer,
I don't care what anyone says.
196
00:14:12,796 --> 00:14:16,755
Why don't you just kick him up the
arse and act like nothing happened?
197
00:14:17,476 --> 00:14:19,306
Brilliant, Dougal(!)
198
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:23,348
No, Ted, seriously.
Look, how scared are you of Len?
199
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:25,431
Very scared.
200
00:14:25,475 --> 00:14:29,387
Exactly. So how likely would it be
for you to kick him up the arse?
201
00:14:32,514 --> 00:14:35,267
- Well...not likely at all.
- Exactly!
202
00:14:35,314 --> 00:14:38,988
So when you kick him up the arse,
carry on like nothing happened.
203
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:43,470
He'd never believe that you'd be
brave enough to kick him up the arse.
204
00:14:43,513 --> 00:14:46,311
He'd think he'd just imagined it.
205
00:14:47,792 --> 00:14:52,070
My God! That... That might work.
206
00:14:53,472 --> 00:14:55,463
That might well work.
207
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,701
I'm gonna do it! I'm ready!
As God is my witness,
208
00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:02,629
I will kick Bishop Brennan
up the arse!
209
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:04,662
(Bishop ) Crilly!
210
00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:08,019
k eep the noise down in there!
211
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:15,105
It's worth just taking one more look.
212
00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:17,982
This has been
a complete waste of my time.
213
00:15:18,029 --> 00:15:21,908
- Well, things might pick up.
- All right, let's see. Come on.
214
00:15:23,349 --> 00:15:28,183
Wait. That's not yours, it belongs...
Don't you look at me like that!
215
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,947
Give that back
or there'll be trouble.
216
00:15:31,988 --> 00:15:36,503
Come back here. Give it... Oh, help!
217
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,662
(Screaming)
218
00:15:42,707 --> 00:15:44,538
What was that?
219
00:15:44,587 --> 00:15:47,100
Mice or something.
220
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:49,614
- Can you see anything?
- No, I can't.
221
00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:51,418
Oh, wait a minute.
222
00:15:51,466 --> 00:15:56,220
There seems to be...a very crude
water colour painting...
223
00:15:57,265 --> 00:15:59,938
of a man in a bishop's hat.
224
00:15:59,985 --> 00:16:01,338
Really?
225
00:16:09,384 --> 00:16:11,773
Let me see.
226
00:16:11,824 --> 00:16:15,373
Ah, you're right!
Tell you what must have happened,
227
00:16:15,424 --> 00:16:18,733
Dougal probably didn't want you
to be disappointed
228
00:16:18,783 --> 00:16:22,412
so he must have drawn that himself.
Ah, he meant well.
229
00:16:24,143 --> 00:16:27,612
Anyway, I'm sure you want to be off,
catch that ferry, huh?
230
00:16:27,662 --> 00:16:29,653
We'll order you a taxi.
231
00:16:35,901 --> 00:16:39,416
So, off to see the Pope?
I bet you're looking forward to that.
232
00:16:39,461 --> 00:16:42,851
- Did you see anything?
- No, nothing there at all, sadly.
233
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:46,176
It was a wild goose chase.
Where's Father Jessup?
234
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:50,498
- Maybe he went on ahead.
- Ok, so. See you soon, Your Grace.
235
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:56,089
Come back as soon as you can.
236
00:16:56,139 --> 00:16:58,130
(Car horn honks )
237
00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:03,017
(Both) Bye!
238
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:17,049
(Taxi driver) Your Grace?
Your Grace, are you all right?
239
00:17:18,297 --> 00:17:21,016
You were right!
He didn't notice a thing.
240
00:17:21,057 --> 00:17:23,366
You gave him a really hard
kick up the arse
241
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,976
and he didn't realise it at all!
242
00:17:26,016 --> 00:17:28,769
Maybe... Maybe I didn't
kick him up the arse?
243
00:17:28,816 --> 00:17:31,774
No, Ted, I took the photograph,
remember?
244
00:17:31,816 --> 00:17:34,727
Ha! You're right. I did do it!
245
00:17:34,775 --> 00:17:37,892
And I really went for it.
More sparkling wine?
246
00:17:37,935 --> 00:17:40,654
I need more sparkling wine!
247
00:17:40,695 --> 00:17:44,482
Did you pack this bag yourself,
Your Grace?
248
00:17:45,974 --> 00:17:48,807
- Your Grace?
- Uh...
249
00:17:51,494 --> 00:17:53,291
- Father.
- Arse.
250
00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,603
Help...help.
251
00:17:59,093 --> 00:18:01,084
Plea... Oh, thank God.
252
00:18:01,933 --> 00:18:04,400
Help me.
253
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:10,572
Father Jessup, what are you doing in
Father Hackett's underpants hamper?
254
00:18:10,612 --> 00:18:12,603
He locked me in here.
255
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:16,483
Dear God...the smell.
256
00:18:17,451 --> 00:18:20,568
Are you not terribly uncomfortable
in there?
257
00:18:20,611 --> 00:18:24,398
Of course I'm uncomfortable!
I want to get out.
258
00:18:30,290 --> 00:18:32,679
Fair enough, so!
259
00:18:33,609 --> 00:18:35,600
Where are going?! Help me!
260
00:18:35,649 --> 00:18:38,447
Have you finished your meal,
Your Grace?
261
00:18:38,489 --> 00:18:40,878
- Your Grace?
- Uh...
262
00:18:40,929 --> 00:18:43,362
- Have you finished your meal?
- No.
263
00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:50,205
(Drunkenly)
And this... This is what I did...
264
00:18:53,167 --> 00:18:57,558
First thing in the morning,
I want 200 copies for all my friends.
265
00:18:59,207 --> 00:19:03,199
And one for myself blown up,
ten-by-ten.
266
00:19:03,246 --> 00:19:05,555
You feckin' old... (Mumbling)
267
00:19:06,686 --> 00:19:08,677
Feck off!
268
00:19:14,765 --> 00:19:17,643
And from Ireland,
Bishop Leonard Brennan.
269
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,320
He did kick me up the arse. Argh!
270
00:19:24,884 --> 00:19:27,682
Get me on the first plane
back to Ireland.
271
00:19:27,724 --> 00:19:30,284
Now, goddamit!
272
00:19:30,324 --> 00:19:32,632
What are ye looking at, huh?
273
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,481
Ahh...
274
00:19:42,522 --> 00:19:44,513
Oh, Jesus...
275
00:19:47,162 --> 00:19:49,232
Oh, God...
276
00:19:52,082 --> 00:19:54,356
(Car approaching, horn honking)
277
00:19:58,321 --> 00:20:00,312
(Screaming)
278
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,276
Oh, no!
279
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,118
(Growling) Crilly!
280
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,310
(Pounding on door)
281
00:20:12,999 --> 00:20:14,990
Crilly!
282
00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:19,390
Crilly!
283
00:20:22,678 --> 00:20:26,671
Crilly! I know you're under the bed.
I can see you.
284
00:20:26,718 --> 00:20:30,996
Ah, Bishop Brennan, hello!
God Almighty, what brings you back?
285
00:20:31,038 --> 00:20:32,755
Come out from there now.
286
00:20:33,997 --> 00:20:35,316
No.
287
00:20:35,357 --> 00:20:36,836
No?
288
00:20:36,877 --> 00:20:39,630
I will give you ten seconds, Crilly.
289
00:20:39,677 --> 00:20:44,272
(Whimpering) It's just that I can see
another vision of you, Your Grace.
290
00:20:45,316 --> 00:20:49,992
The bits of fluff are arranging
themselves into a bishop formation.
291
00:20:52,395 --> 00:20:54,590
Oh! H-Hello!
292
00:20:55,635 --> 00:20:58,866
Great to see you back.
What brings you here?
293
00:20:58,915 --> 00:21:01,109
Well, I suppose the company,
294
00:21:01,154 --> 00:21:05,113
the fresh air, the view from my
window of that great pile of sludge
295
00:21:05,154 --> 00:21:09,466
but number one on the list is the
matter of you kicking me up the arse.
296
00:21:09,514 --> 00:21:13,392
Yes, I think that is the one
I would prioritise. (Growling)
297
00:21:13,433 --> 00:21:17,221
Wh... kicking...
What? What did I kick? I mean...
298
00:21:17,273 --> 00:21:19,582
Don't try my patience, Crilly!
299
00:21:19,633 --> 00:21:21,748
You kicked me up the arse!
300
00:21:21,792 --> 00:21:25,421
Try to deny it
and I will have you fed to the dogs!
301
00:21:27,072 --> 00:21:29,984
Wh... Why would I do that?
You'd kill me.
302
00:21:30,032 --> 00:21:32,022
You're damn right I would.
303
00:21:33,831 --> 00:21:37,028
I would never ever
kick you up the arse.
304
00:21:37,071 --> 00:21:39,266
You're... I think you're great.
305
00:21:39,311 --> 00:21:41,585
Well, I... Huh?
306
00:21:41,630 --> 00:21:45,418
Are you sure you're not making
a...terrible mistake?
307
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:48,985
- Do you think that's possible?
- Of course it's not!
308
00:21:49,030 --> 00:21:52,738
Well, it did occur to me
that it was a bit unbelievable.
309
00:21:52,789 --> 00:21:56,623
Ye... It's unbelievable
because it didn't actually happen.
310
00:21:56,669 --> 00:22:00,104
I swear to you
on all that I hold dear -
311
00:22:00,148 --> 00:22:02,981
on my life, on my religion,
312
00:22:03,028 --> 00:22:06,065
on God, on all the saints
and angels in heaven...
313
00:22:07,108 --> 00:22:09,463
I did not kick you up the arse.
314
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:14,023
Well, you know, maybe...
Maybe I need a holiday.
315
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:18,140
Maybe I have been
sort of imagining things.
316
00:22:18,187 --> 00:22:21,178
You have been imagining things.
Have a holiday.
317
00:22:21,226 --> 00:22:24,184
- Shut up, Crilly!
- Okey-dokey.
318
00:22:24,986 --> 00:22:29,582
Bye, Bishop Brennan. Don't worry
about the door. Bye. Come back soon.
319
00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,502
Ted, I got those copies.
320
00:22:31,545 --> 00:22:33,581
Shut up, Dougal. Shut up!
321
00:22:34,785 --> 00:22:37,936
The one you wanted blown up,
where do you want that?
322
00:22:37,985 --> 00:22:40,896
What do you mean?
Bye, Bishop Brennan. We love you!
323
00:22:50,983 --> 00:22:52,780
Come here, Ted.
324
00:23:01,662 --> 00:23:03,653
Turn around.
325
00:23:10,221 --> 00:23:11,540
Arghh!
326
00:24:03,056 --> 00:00:05,000
(Father Jessup )
I'm really enjoying this.
327
00:00:05,000 --> 00:02:00,717
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00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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