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Welcome to a Fawlty Towers
exclusive.

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30 years after the doors finally
shut

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on the world-famous Torquay hotel,
we're checking in once more

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to reveal the ten best bits,

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as chosen by the show's star
and creator, John Cleese,

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now sunning himself in Southern
California.

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If someone stood me against the wall
and said they were going to shoot me

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if I didn't say what was my
absolutely favourite moment,

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I would actually say...
Uh-uh, not yet!

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You're a naughty boy, Fawlty!

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Along the way, as John picks Basil's
Best Bits,

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we'll be revisiting the shows
episode by episode,

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to find out why Fawlty Towers has
stood the test of time.

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Fawlty Towers survives because it's

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immaculately performed, precision
comedy.

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If this was in the States, I
wouldn't board my dog here.

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Fussy, is he? Poodle?

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It was beautifully written and
beautifully directed

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and John, Connie and Andrew are
wonderful people to work with.

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You're only single once.

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Twice can be arranged.

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We'll also be talking to cast and
crew about their favourite moments.

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If you asked anybody,

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and it certainly is one of mine, is
The Germans.

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I'll do the funny walk.

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I don't think you can beat that
moment, "Would you care for a rat?"

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Would you care for a rat, or...?

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Not rat, filigree Siberian hamster.

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Of course it's a rat! You have rats
in Spain, don't you?

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Or did Franco have them all shot?

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My favourite line of all, "I am a
doctor and I want my sausages."

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I don't know why I think it's so
funny.

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Look, I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor and
I want my sausages.

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I tell you, is finish.

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It's extraordinary that people still
say it.

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I mean, everybody loves sausages.
Maybe it's that simple.

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And a cavalcade of very special
celebrity fans

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celebrates the bits they love the
best.

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Go away.
'I do like the Lord Melbury one'

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because it exposes Basil for what he
is.

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I think it is him

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waking up in hospital and looking at
the nurse and going...

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My God, you're ugly, aren't you?

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"Don't mention ze war!"

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Serving a trifle for a duck.

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He puts his hands in and separates
this whole cake out.

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Favourite moment has to be...

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giving the car a damn good thrashing.

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So, without further ado, let's begin
at the very beginning.

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the first ever episode of Fawlty
Towers arrived on our screens

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on 1975 and opened with Basil
battling an unhung picture

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and a hotel full of riff-raff.

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Have you seen the people in room
six?

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They've never even sat on chairs
before, they're commoners.

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The day isn't going well for our
hapless hotel manager,

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but then a certain Lord Melbury
checks in.

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Yes? A single room... Your name
please, could I have your name?

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PHONE RINGS
Melbury. One second please. Hello?

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Ah yes, Mr O'Reilly, it's perfectly
simple.

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When I asked you to build me a wall,

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I was rather hoping that instead of
just dumping the bricks in a pile,

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you might have found time to cement
them together, you know...

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Fawlty is talking to the builder and
then he notices that the guest

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who's signing in has only signed his
surname.

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Would you put both your names,
please?

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You don't have a first name?

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No, I am Lord Melbury,
so I simply sign Melbury.

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Go away. I'm so sorry to have kept
you waiting, Your Lordship...

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I do apologise, so please accept my
forgiveness.

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Now, is there something, something,

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anything that I can do for you?
Anything?

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That's excruciatingly well done.

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Basil trying to be nice to people,
being impressed by people.

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Well, I have filled this in.

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Please, don't bother with that.

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Now a special room, a single? A
double? A suite?

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It was almost too embarrassing to
watch Basil's snobbery.

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He always is falling over people who
have a Sir or a Lord or a...

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in front of their names.

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Just a single. Absolutely, how very
wise if I may say so, Your Honour.

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Yes, with a bath.
Oh, naturally, naturally.

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Naturellement.
HE LAUGHS HEARTILY

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It's this bizarre snobbery,

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that is so perverted and it's very
British and he's so dazzling at it.

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I shall be staying for one or two
nights... Oh, please, please.

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HE RINGS BELL
Manuel.

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'That's one of my favourite
episodes.

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'Just says, "This is this bloke'

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"you're going to be seeing quite a
lot of and this is what he's like,"

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and it was just caught in a second.

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Our next moment from the first
episode is when Polly the maid

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reveals that Basil's lord and master
isn't all he's cracked up to be.

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He showed me identification.

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They're watching Melbury, he's a
confidence trickster. I see.

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What do you mean, you see? Let's
have a look at these valuables.

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What are you doing? I forbid you to
open that safe.

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Sybil, I forbid you to take that
case out.

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Sybil, do not open that case, I
forbid it. I have forbidden this.

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I think one of my favourite bits

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is the moment that Basil discovers
the bricks

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in Lord Melbury's briefcase.

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'John just looks at the bricks,

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'and then he picks one up, and that
gets a laugh.'

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Takes the other one, and he smells it
or something,

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which is such a strange thing to do
and then he bangs them together.

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And then in the end, he just makes a
noise.

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HE GRUNTS

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'Like "Take it away".'

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That's beautiful, it takes it out of
standard sitcom area.

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'It's a cruel moment and it's so
funny and yet it's so poignant.'

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You feel so sorry for John.

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It's a wonderful moment.

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Cue the first recorded explosion
of Basil's simmering rage,

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Well, how are you, Lord Melbury?

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How are you, then? All right, mate?

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How's me old mucker?

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People get really, really angry when
they're cross with themselves,

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and it's one of those simple truths

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that Basil of course exhibits all the
time.

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When he realises that Lord Melbury is
not what he seemed to be,

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he gets very, very cross because he
has been humiliated.

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He, Basil, has been humiliated.

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Any valuables to deposit, Sir
Richard? Any bricks or...? Oh, no!

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I do apologise. You bastard!

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And I remember watching this with my
parents. He just shouts "Bastard!"

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really loudly. Twice, I think.

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Hello, Lord Melbury.

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Bastard!

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It was one of those, "How will my
parents react?" moments.

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Do please excuse me one moment.

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'I suppose the bit where he's kicking
Lord Melbury...'

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That's a typical John moment, I
think,

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when John's showing through Basil
Fawlty.

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Just one. Sorry, Mr Fawlty. Just
one. Please!

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This is another feature of the Fawlty
Towers episodes,

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there comes a moment when Basil just
cracks.

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That's why he gets so cross, he's
cracking up.

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That's what happens when people just
lose control.

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Coming up, more great moments from
series one and we find out

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what moment John Cleese has selected
as the first of Basil's Best Bits.

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Go away. Welcome back to this Fawlty
Towers exclusive.

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John Cleese had refused a Radio
Times front cover

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to promote the first episode

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because he wanted people to discover
it for themselves.

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Less than two million did.

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But that changed as the series
slowly grew a strong audience,

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Friday nights on BBC Two.

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We used to laugh quite a lot.

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Yes, but not at the same time, Basil.

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Coming up, the creative genius
behind the show, John Cleese,

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will be revealing the first of his
very favourite moments,

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so keep your eye out for Basil's
Best Bits.

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Argh!

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In the second episode to be
screened, the Fawltys take a trip

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to Paignton, leaving the staff in
charge.

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Manuel Towers, how are you?

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Is nice today. Good. Goodbye.

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Whilst Basil and Sybil are gone,

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some Irish builders arrive with
predictably catastrophic results.

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Polly's been put in charge of
overseeing some building alterations

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but she falls asleep and during the
period she's having a brief nap,

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and my God, that woman is so
overworked,

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the hapless builder bricks over the
entrance into the dining room.

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Polly, what have you done
with my hotel?

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Polly, what have you done to my
hotel? What? Look!

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Oh, it's nice, I like it there.
Ouch!

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What have you done with my dining
room door? Where is it?

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Basil treats women so badly, not just
by his general incompetence

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but he actually is prepared to fight
them, physically fight them.

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Well, I mean, is that acceptable?

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I just think he's a...

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misanthrope generally.

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I mean men, women, what have you,
there's so much rage in him.

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Oh, of course, there I was thinking
it was your fault

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because you'd been left in charge or
Manuel's fault for not waking you,

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and all the time it was my fault!

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Oh, it's so obvious now, I've seen
the light!

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Well, I must be punished then,
mustn't I?

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You're a naughty boy, Fawlty.

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Don't do it... What am I going to
do?!

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She's going to be back at lunchtime.

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Now, wait. I'm a dead man.
Do you realise? Easy...

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You're dead too, we're all dead!

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Don't panic. What else is there to
do?!

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HE MOANS MANICALLY

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Shhh. We've got to call O'Reilly.

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He made this mess, he can come in
and clear it up.

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Oh, just pull yourself together!

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Come on!

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00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,320
I think when he threatens to hit
Polly

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is one of my favourite moments
because it's so unexpected.

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He's taking it out on anything
or anybody except himself.

193
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Again!

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00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,080
But then he realised, no, it's
worked, slap me again!

195
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,600
And then he's telling her off for not
hitting him hard enough.

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Harder!

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00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,240
Right, I'll call O'Reilly.

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00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:38,600
Such a wonderful complexity of stuff
going on there.

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Matters get worse for Basil

200
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,160
when Sybil returns to find her hotel
rearranged.

201
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,040
I'm sick to death of you.

202
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,120
You never learn, do you? You never,
ever learn.

203
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'I'm in the bar having a quiet
drink,'

204
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and I come in and I'm waiting to be
complimented, I suppose,

205
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:59,600
by this dishy lady on the beautiful
work I'd done,

206
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and she suddenly turns nasty.

207
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,040
He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a
liar and incompetent,

208
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,080
he's lazy, he's a half-witted thick
Irish joke.

209
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,520
Oh, hello O'Reilly, funny, we were
just talking about you

210
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and then we got on to another Irish
builder we used to know.

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00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,560
Oh, God, he was awful!

212
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,120
I was talking about you, Mr O'Reilly.

213
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,160
Were you, dear? I thought you were
talking...

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00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,920
David Kelly played the Irish cowboy
builder

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00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,880
and he played it with a mixture of
cowardice

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00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,960
and hopelessness and drunkenness,
which was quite appropriate.

217
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:36,160
I like a woman with spirit, I do, I
do.

218
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You think I'm joking, don't you?

219
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:39,840
Oh, don't smile.

220
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,960
Why are you smiling, Mr O'Reilly?

221
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:47,040
Well, to be perfectly honest, Mrs
Fawlty, I like a woman with spirit.

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00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,160
Oh, do you? Is that what you like?

223
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,440
I do, I do. Oh, good.

224
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,680
I liked bashing him over the head.
What did I bash him with?

225
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:56,920
Now Sybil, that's enough.

226
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,000
She beat us up with an umbrella.

227
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,440
Come on, then, give us a smile.

228
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:09,160
Nice to be able to let go and have a
bash, literally!

229
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,520
Now collect your things and get out.
Argh!

230
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,200
I shouldn't bring it up because poor
Pru,

231
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she wouldn't have intended to do so,

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00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:31,680
but she did really clobber us and
it was worth suffering for the art.

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00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,200
In the third episode,

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00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:38,160
an amorous French lady is visiting
Devon in search of antiques.

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00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:43,320
Ah, Mr Fawlty, you're so charming.
Well, one does one's best.

236
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:47,440
And meanwhile, a party of excitable
wedding guests checks in

237
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,160
and Basil becomes increasingly
agitated,

238
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,880
seeing sexual intent everywhere.

239
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,040
SHE SHRIEKS AND LAUGHS

240
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,680
Are we ready? I think we are, yes.

241
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,040
Well, may I have your name please?
Yes, it's Bruce.

242
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,840
Mr and Mrs Bruce. That's right.

243
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,360
Is it a double bed?
I beg your pardon?

244
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,640
Has our room got a double bed?

245
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,920
A double bed? Yes.

246
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,080
We've only got one double bed, do
you want that?

247
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,760
Oh, very much indeed, yes.

248
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,280
Well, I'll have to put you
in number 12 then. All right.

249
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,160
'Basil is horrified, of course,'

250
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,480
because this young couple arrive

251
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:32,600
They are part of this new, modern,
promiscuous society

252
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,640
which should not be tolerated at all.

253
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,960
And therefore he has no way

254
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,040
that he is going to put them in a
double room.

255
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,560
I think there's a letter for me.

256
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,520
What? There's a letter for me there.
No there isn't. Yes. Jean Wilson.

257
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,240
Jean Wilson, is this you? Mmm-hmm.

258
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,680
Now what's going on here?

259
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,680
Well, I can't give you a double room
then.

260
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,600
Oh, look... It's against the law.

261
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,120
What law? The law of England, nothing
to do with me.

262
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,120
Nothing at all. I can give you two
singles if you like.

263
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,120
Right in front of him, this
promiscuous behaviour,

264
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,440
it's not correct, it's not proper.

265
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,400
The best thing in the episode about
sex,

266
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,320
which demonstrates how Basil still

267
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,200
sees filth and depravity in
everything around him

268
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,080
is that this guy comes to reception
and asks if any chemists are open.

269
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,600
Do you know if there's a chemist
still open?

270
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,560
I beg your pardon?

271
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,560
Do you know if there's a chemist
still open?

272
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,720
I suppose you think this is funny,
do you?

273
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,200
Funny? Ha, ha, ha.

274
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,920
I don't. So far as I know, the
chemists are shut.

275
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,760
You'll have to wait till tomorrow.
Sorry.

276
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,440
Well, in those days, chemists had
only one meaning

277
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,120
and that was, you are going to have
sex tonight,

278
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,600
and that's why you want to go to a
chemist.

279
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,920
I don't suppose you've got a...
Now look!

280
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,960
Just don't push your luck. I have a
breaking point, you know.

281
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,440
I don't believe it. What?

282
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,440
Batteries, eh? You know something?

283
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,280
You disgust me.

284
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,680
I know what people like you get up
to and I think it's disgusting.

285
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,760
What are you talking about?

286
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,320
It's for my electric razor. I want to
shave. Oh, yes?

287
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,360
I haven't shaved today. Look, see?

288
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,240
Electric razor, huh? Right.

289
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,200
Well, that's what I was referring
to.

290
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,440
It is of course disgusting
that you haven't shaved,

291
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,960
but understandable. Sometimes I
don't shave either,

292
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,480
that's disgusting too so I'll have a
razor sent up.

293
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,160
Thank you so much. Goodnight.

294
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,800
And it's in the wedding party that
we find

295
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,840
the first of Basil's Best Bits,

296
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,600
the favourite moments personally
chosen by John Cleese himself.

297
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,920
Once Connie and I had observed what
Pru was doing with Sybil,

298
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,080
we took great pleasure in writing
just little bits of dialogue

299
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,400
where she could go on being Sybil.

300
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,480
Basil would be in the background,
of course, becoming exasperated

301
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,600
and I'm very fond of this very quiet
little scene.

302
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,480
SYBIL LAUGHS

303
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,520
Sybil wasn't based on anyone.

304
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,280
That was something that we
discovered as we went along.

305
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,960
You write a character, after a time
you say a line

306
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,680
You say another line, that doesn't
feel right.

307
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,040
PHONE RINGS

308
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,840
Hello?

309
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,040
Audrey, any news?

310
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,840
Oh, dear, he hasn't.

311
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,880
Oh, I know.

312
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,600
He doesn't deserve you, Audrey, he
really doesn't.

313
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,680
Exactly. I know you have.

314
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,360
I know, I know.

315
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,040
Oh, I know.

316
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,840
Are you going to go on like that
all night?

317
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,240
What was that, Audrey?

318
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,800
Oh, I know.

319
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,560
I know. Why's she telling you, then?

320
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,840
I understand, dear, I really do.

321
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,800
I can't stand it any more. I'll go
and clear the roof or something.

322
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,000
DOORBELL RINGS
Ah, there's the front door bell,
somebody's back late.

323
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,600
Yes, yes. I expect they forgot
to get their pass key.

324
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,720
I know. Somebody better go and let
them in.

325
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,240
Yes. I'll go then, shall I?

326
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,320
Mmm. Yes, I agree, right, I'll go
then.

327
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,520
You know who that is, don't you?
That's your pair.

328
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,080
The Kama Sutra set.

329
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,520
"Good evening, welcome to Basil
Fawlty Knocking Shops Ltd".

330
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,080
No, dear, it's only Basil.

331
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,640
Our next celebrated scene from this
episode

332
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,800
and it's when Basil finds himself

333
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,440
the focus of a flirtatious French
guest.

334
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,080
French, hmm, so what does that mean,
French?

335
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,240
My goodness me, that means all sorts
of wickedness.

336
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,800
That means a lady of ill virtue,
almost certainly.

337
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,440
She's that rapacious, predatory...

338
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:06,040
French woman that brings out all of
the English neuroses about sex.

339
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,880
I shall sleep au naturelle tonight.

340
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,360
Good idea. Right.

341
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:13,840
Only it's not so much fun on your
own.

342
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,040
Oh, well, one can always pretend.

343
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,000
Oh, twinge from the old leg. Better
go and lie down. Goodnight.

344
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,960
Goodnight! Damn shrapnel.

345
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,920
When Mrs Peignoir could seemingly be
offering him

346
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:29,160
some sort of sexual lifeline, he
doesn't really know what to do.

347
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,280
He's flattered by it and he's
certainly,

348
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,200
I think, enthusiastic about the idea,

349
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,760
but the moment it looks like possibly
becoming a reality,

350
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,640
he's shaken to the core.

351
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,000
I think you've forgotten something.

352
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,960
Did I? Damn, well, there you go.

353
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,680
Your recorder. Oh, thank you.

354
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,960
I think she was very funny in it and
I mean, she's very good,

355
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,040
she dredged up that fantastic French
accent.

356
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,400
You left it in my room so you could
come and get it, didn't you?

357
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:05,000
The accent that I had, I sometimes
think sounds slightly Hungarian,

358
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,760
but there you are, I'm quite
critical of my work.

359
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,440
IN FRENCH ACCENT: But of course, it's

360
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:14,240
very like that, "You're a very
naughty man, Mr Fawlty."

361
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,440
I'm not having you knocking on my
door in the middle of the night.

362
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,880
LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

363
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,640
I should cocoa! You naughty man!

364
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,880
Goodnight. Goodnight.

365
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,320
'The tension's building because Mrs
Peignoir's flirting with him.

366
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:34,560
'Sybil arrives and knocks on the
door and Basil panics,'

367
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,880
and thinks it's Mrs Peignoir who's
come back for him,

368
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,680
and he tells her to go away.

369
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,360
Let me in, Basil. You'll meet
somebody else sooner or later.

370
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,200
Basil! Try to control yourself.
Where do you think you are? Paris?

371
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,800
Then he clocks it, that it's Sybil,

372
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,640
and this transition, how were we
going to make that moment work?

373
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,000
Go away! My wife will hear us!

374
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,360
This is your wife.

375
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,040
Oh, what a terrible dream.

376
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,560
"Oh, what a terrible dream."

377
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,440
And that was brilliant because it
was so Basil.

378
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,440
John's chosen just one favourite
moment

379
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,480
which, by my calculation, means
there are nine more to go.

380
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,920
What? So what else will he pick?

381
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,520
I think he'll pick the moment

382
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,440
when he's in the kitchen and he's in
effect beating himself up.

383
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:39,000
What do you Mr and Mrs Hamilton
would think?

384
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,840
I think the moose, probably, the
talking moose.

385
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,080
How are you, sir?

386
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,080
I don't know. I don't know what John
will pick.

387
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,750
That'll be interesting.

388
00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:54,470
Welcome back to this Fawlty Towers
exclusive.

389
00:21:54,710 --> 00:21:58,510
Creators John Cleese and Connie
Booth wrote their high farce sitcom

390
00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:01,270
to include a unique parade of
British talent

391
00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:05,710
who'd check into the hotel each week
to play against the regular cast.

392
00:22:05,870 --> 00:22:08,590
Cheers. Up yours, Basil.

393
00:22:08,830 --> 00:22:10,790
The next episode is a classic
example,

394
00:22:10,950 --> 00:22:12,590
with the great Bernard Cribbins

395
00:22:12,870 --> 00:22:15,470
starring as an overly officious
guest,

396
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:18,830
who just happens to check in on a
day when Basil and Sybil

397
00:22:19,110 --> 00:22:21,950
are on high alert for hotel
inspectors.

398
00:22:23,310 --> 00:22:25,470
Is it possible for me to reserve the
BBC Two Channel

399
00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:27,950
for the duration of this televisual
feast?

400
00:22:28,110 --> 00:22:29,670
Why don't you talk properly?

401
00:22:29,910 --> 00:22:32,630
Basil is convinced that he's an
undercover inspector

402
00:22:32,870 --> 00:22:37,310
and is enraged to find out that he's
just a humble purveyor of spoons.

403
00:22:38,950 --> 00:22:41,670
Spoons, eh?

404
00:22:41,870 --> 00:22:43,230
I'm sorry?

405
00:22:43,390 --> 00:22:46,390
Sp...oons.

406
00:22:46,630 --> 00:22:50,030
It's this little misunderstanding
which gives us our second

407
00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:54,550
Basil's Best Bit, as carefully
chosen by John Cleese.

408
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:57,990
Another very favourite moment of
mine is a scene

409
00:22:58,230 --> 00:23:01,550
between me and Connie and Bernard
Cribbins.

410
00:23:01,790 --> 00:23:05,790
Bernard's always been a huge, huge
favourite of mine,

411
00:23:09,230 --> 00:23:12,550
I was so happy that he was able to
be in the Hotel Inspectors episode.

412
00:23:12,830 --> 00:23:15,510
In this I'm just about to be rude to
him

413
00:23:16,070 --> 00:23:19,390
and then Polly, as usual, covers for
me absolutely brilliantly.

414
00:23:19,670 --> 00:23:22,030
I love the bit of acting that goes
on

415
00:23:22,190 --> 00:23:24,430
about not necessarily having to look

416
00:23:24,710 --> 00:23:26,350
at someone when you're talking to
them.

417
00:23:28,190 --> 00:23:31,510
and I think it's the best bit of
comedy acting in Fawlty Towers.

418
00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:33,990
I've changed my mind, I do not want
the cheese salad,

419
00:23:34,150 --> 00:23:35,150
I wish to cancel it.

420
00:23:35,390 --> 00:23:37,070
I'm not used to being spoken to like
that,

421
00:23:37,310 --> 00:23:39,670
and I've no wish to continue my
luncheon.

422
00:23:39,910 --> 00:23:42,070
I do apologise if what I said seemed
a trifle brusque.

423
00:23:42,350 --> 00:23:44,510
Brusque? It was rude, Mr Fawlty,
rude!

424
00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:46,790
Well, I'm deeply sorry if it came
over like that.

425
00:23:46,990 --> 00:23:49,670
Nothing could have been further from
my mind. You told me to shut up.

426
00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:51,790
No, no, he told me to shut up.

427
00:23:55,070 --> 00:23:57,190
but I was talking to Polly, wasn't
I, Polly? Oh, yes.

428
00:23:57,430 --> 00:24:00,150
Did you notice that I was looking at
you but talking to her?

429
00:24:00,390 --> 00:24:03,070
What? He was looking at you but
talking to me, wasn't he?

430
00:24:03,310 --> 00:24:05,830
Wasn't I? What? So you weren't
being rude, were you?

431
00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:08,390
Absolutely not, you see? Me?

432
00:24:08,630 --> 00:24:10,230
Yes. But if you say shut up to
somebody,

433
00:24:10,390 --> 00:24:12,350
that's the one you want to shut up!

434
00:24:15,710 --> 00:24:17,950
You see how easily these
misunderstandings occur?

435
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:20,510
Yes, I do. So one cheese salad,
Polly.

436
00:24:20,670 --> 00:24:21,910
Certainly, Mr Hutchinson.

437
00:24:22,150 --> 00:24:28,270
If there's anything else, please
don't hesitate to ask.

438
00:24:28,430 --> 00:24:30,590
The climax to the same scene,

439
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:33,750
where Basil finally loses his rag
with the salesman,

440
00:24:33,910 --> 00:24:35,750
provides our next moment.

441
00:24:35,910 --> 00:24:37,270
Oh, yes. Ah!

442
00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:40,070
You get the confrontation of Bernie
Cribbins and Basil Fawlty,

443
00:24:40,350 --> 00:24:43,830
which is the irresistible force
meeting the unmoveable object.

444
00:24:44,070 --> 00:24:46,630
He was a bit a pain as Basil was,
basically,

445
00:24:46,790 --> 00:24:49,070
and the little clash was inevitable.

446
00:24:49,310 --> 00:24:51,670
I'm sorry, I do not want the
omelette.

447
00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:54,750
It's nice. I don't want it, I've
sent it back once.

448
00:24:54,990 --> 00:24:57,350
Yes, give it to me. Yes, I fail to
see how this can happen.

449
00:24:57,590 --> 00:25:00,070
I've torn it up, you'll never see it
again.

450
00:25:00,310 --> 00:25:03,070
'There's this manic moment when
everything explodes'

451
00:25:03,310 --> 00:25:06,150
and he clamps his hands over my
face.

452
00:25:06,390 --> 00:25:09,590
I disappeared under his armpit at
one point, I think,

453
00:25:09,830 --> 00:25:13,430
and then of course you've got to
knock me out and...

454
00:25:13,670 --> 00:25:16,590
certainly I had to ask him to slow
up a bit on the karate chop.

455
00:25:16,830 --> 00:25:19,190
He's a big lad and he was knocking
lumps off me.

456
00:25:19,350 --> 00:25:21,190
All I wanted was a cheese salad.

457
00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:23,630
It wasn't as though I'd ordered an
elephant's ear on a bun!

458
00:25:24,030 --> 00:25:26,430
I mean, the whole thing is
ridiculous.

459
00:25:26,590 --> 00:25:27,670
I'm glad we sorted...

460
00:25:27,910 --> 00:25:29,910
For a man who's supposed to be
running a hotel...

461
00:25:30,150 --> 00:25:32,590
your behaviour, your behaviour is
totally...

462
00:25:36,030 --> 00:25:38,630
Is there anything else that I can
get you? I can't breathe. Argh!

463
00:25:38,790 --> 00:25:40,230
Cheese salad?

464
00:25:40,470 --> 00:25:43,470
I can't breathe! It's all right,
he's only choking!

465
00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:46,150
Don't worry. A bit of cheese went
the wrong way.

466
00:25:50,470 --> 00:25:51,830
Never mind, he's fainted.

467
00:25:51,990 --> 00:25:54,670
Manuel! Poor chap. Bit of cheese.

468
00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:56,230
Yes, please.

469
00:25:56,470 --> 00:25:59,190
It was the interplay between the two
of them, that's what I loved,

470
00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:01,510
the sheer timing and the speed of it.

471
00:26:01,670 --> 00:26:03,310
There's not a line wasted, but the

472
00:26:03,550 --> 00:26:05,790
way they bounced off each other was
superb.

473
00:26:10,230 --> 00:26:13,030
I wouldn't call it physical comedy,
I'd call it pure violence.

474
00:26:13,270 --> 00:26:15,550
Would you like to go in there and
discuss it?

475
00:26:15,790 --> 00:26:17,550
No, I'd prefer to come in here and
discuss it.

476
00:26:17,790 --> 00:26:21,070
Oh, fine. I'm afraid it's a bit of a
mess...

477
00:26:21,310 --> 00:26:25,870
'Physical comedy is one of the most
satisfying things to do, I think,

478
00:26:26,110 --> 00:26:28,710
'if you get it right and I thought
we did it very well, actually.'

479
00:26:28,950 --> 00:26:32,910
John's a very good recipient of a
knee in the crotch, I will say that,

480
00:26:33,150 --> 00:26:36,070
although I had to lift my knee
very high. He's very tall.

481
00:26:37,230 --> 00:26:38,750
Ohhh!

482
00:26:41,390 --> 00:26:43,230
I'm not a violent man, Mr Fawlty.

483
00:26:44,910 --> 00:26:46,270
Yes, you are! No, I'm not.

484
00:26:46,510 --> 00:26:48,190
The reaction of the audience on the
night,

485
00:26:48,430 --> 00:26:51,870
when he finally got the pay-off with
the custard pie, woof.

486
00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:55,430
Ah, please, senor, Mr Fawlty want to
say adios.

487
00:26:55,590 --> 00:26:58,910
He wants to what? Ah, ah, oh!

488
00:26:59,150 --> 00:27:01,830
You think he's going to get it
in the face and smack in the crotch.

489
00:27:02,070 --> 00:27:04,670
That was the one. Oh! I can still
feel it.

490
00:27:07,550 --> 00:27:09,310
Papers arrived, Fawlty?

491
00:27:09,550 --> 00:27:12,990
Then John takes the bag and puts it
there and squeezed it.

492
00:27:13,230 --> 00:27:14,750
I never thought he squeezed it
enough,

493
00:27:14,990 --> 00:27:18,230
I wanted to see it spurting out
again, but that didn't happen.

494
00:27:26,790 --> 00:27:28,710
Gourmet Night at Fawlty Towers was

495
00:27:28,950 --> 00:27:32,070
the first episode to get over three
million viewers.

496
00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:34,150
I should never have let you write
that advert.

497
00:27:34,310 --> 00:27:36,190
Fancy putting "No riff raff"!

498
00:27:36,470 --> 00:27:39,270
But, predictably, all does not go to
plan,

499
00:27:39,510 --> 00:27:42,790
when a combination of drunken chefs,
stalled cars

500
00:27:43,030 --> 00:27:46,710
and rejected condiments conspire
against him.

501
00:27:46,950 --> 00:27:51,150
The thing about Basil Fawlty is that
he doesn't care whether

502
00:27:51,390 --> 00:27:55,790
the person he's having a fight with
is elderly, dead,

503
00:27:56,030 --> 00:27:59,910
a hotel inspector or a tiny child,
he just doesn't care.

504
00:28:00,150 --> 00:28:02,670
Is there something we can get you
instead, sonny?

505
00:28:02,830 --> 00:28:04,710
I'd like some bread and salad cream.

506
00:28:04,950 --> 00:28:08,190
To eat? Well, there's the bread
and there's the mayonnaise.

507
00:28:08,350 --> 00:28:10,310
I said salad cream, stupid.

508
00:28:10,550 --> 00:28:12,870
It's not unreasonable to ask for
salad cream,

509
00:28:13,110 --> 00:28:17,030
but as it happens, the level of
pretension that Fawlty

510
00:28:17,270 --> 00:28:21,110
is operating at that point is that
he's moved beyond salad cream

511
00:28:21,350 --> 00:28:24,670
into the superior stuff of
mayonnaise.

512
00:28:24,910 --> 00:28:27,870
May I ask why you don't have salad
cream? I mean, most...

513
00:28:28,270 --> 00:28:31,630
Well, the chef usually buys it only
on special occasions, you know,

514
00:28:31,870 --> 00:28:34,270
gourmet nights and so on, but when
he's got a bottle,

515
00:28:34,430 --> 00:28:36,350
oh, he's a genius with it.

516
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:40,110
He can unscrew the cap like Robert
Carrier, it's a treat to watch,

517
00:28:40,270 --> 00:28:42,390
and then...right on the plate.

518
00:28:42,630 --> 00:28:45,630
He thinks of this boy as common
for wanting salad cream.

519
00:28:45,870 --> 00:28:47,310
I'll tell him to get some salad
cream.

520
00:28:47,550 --> 00:28:50,630
You never know when Henry
Kissinger's going to drop in.

521
00:28:50,790 --> 00:28:52,790
Oh, sorry, sorry about that.

522
00:28:52,950 --> 00:28:54,590
We always had salad cream, I think.

523
00:28:54,830 --> 00:28:56,630
I was slightly offended by that
episode.

524
00:28:59,870 --> 00:29:03,430
Basil hopes to restore some decorum
later in the evening,

525
00:29:03,670 --> 00:29:05,830
welcoming his more distinguished
guests

526
00:29:05,990 --> 00:29:08,350
for his inaugural gourmet night.

527
00:29:08,590 --> 00:29:11,350
My favourite moment on the gourmet
night,

528
00:29:11,590 --> 00:29:15,150
when they're all meeting before they
go in to the meal,

529
00:29:15,390 --> 00:29:18,150
he's got the names wrong and he can't
deal with it,

530
00:29:18,350 --> 00:29:21,950
and he's just digging himself deeper
and deeper into this pit.

531
00:29:22,190 --> 00:29:25,990
There is one man who turns up and
he's Twitchen.

532
00:29:26,230 --> 00:29:29,110
'The problem is there's another
person who'd come before

533
00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:31,470
'who does have a twitch.'
Ah, good.

534
00:29:31,630 --> 00:29:34,310
Colonel. Colonel and Mrs Hall?

535
00:29:34,470 --> 00:29:37,070
May I introduce Mr and Mrs...

536
00:29:42,190 --> 00:29:44,030
Have you met? No, no, we haven't.

537
00:29:44,270 --> 00:29:46,670
Have you? No. Oh, good. Well, what
would you like to drink then?

538
00:29:46,910 --> 00:29:49,550
He realises at that second he can't
say what he's about to say.

539
00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:53,750
If he had, Colonel Hall would have
been introduced to Mr Twitchens,

540
00:29:53,910 --> 00:29:54,950
all would have been well.

541
00:29:55,390 --> 00:29:56,630
No, no, we still don't know the
name.

542
00:29:56,870 --> 00:29:58,790
Oh, Fawlty, Basil Fawlty.
Yes... No, no! Theirs.

543
00:29:59,030 --> 00:30:01,150
Oh, theirs. I'm so sorry, I thought
you meant yours...

544
00:30:01,310 --> 00:30:03,750
HE CACKLES

545
00:30:03,990 --> 00:30:06,510
Warm, isn't it? I could do with
a drink too, so another sherry?

546
00:30:06,750 --> 00:30:09,390
Aren't you going to introduce us?
Didn't I? No. Oh, sorry.

547
00:30:09,670 --> 00:30:12,070
This is Mr and Mrs...
HE MUMBLES

548
00:30:12,230 --> 00:30:13,750
What?

549
00:30:13,910 --> 00:30:15,350
Mr and Mrs...

550
00:30:16,550 --> 00:30:17,670
Ah!

551
00:30:19,390 --> 00:30:24,710
John's falls throughout Fawlty Towers
are absolutely wonderful.

552
00:30:24,950 --> 00:30:26,950
He goes down like a tree that's been
felled,

553
00:30:27,190 --> 00:30:30,390
and it's his way of getting out of
having to deal with a situation.

554
00:30:30,550 --> 00:30:32,110
It's absolutely hysterical.

555
00:30:32,350 --> 00:30:36,230
Instead of just saying, "I've got to
leave the room," he just collapses.

556
00:30:39,510 --> 00:30:41,790
With his Gourmet Night falling
apart,

557
00:30:41,950 --> 00:30:43,950
Basil tries to salvage the evening

558
00:30:44,110 --> 00:30:45,910
by driving to a local restaurant for

559
00:30:46,150 --> 00:30:49,670
supplies after his own chef is too
drunk to cook.

560
00:30:49,910 --> 00:30:52,350
All the ingredients for a classic
comedy moment,

561
00:30:52,550 --> 00:30:55,950
adding up to a delicious portion of
TV history.

562
00:30:56,110 --> 00:30:59,790
Come on. Come on!

563
00:31:00,030 --> 00:31:01,910
It's probably everyone's favourite
moment,

564
00:31:02,150 --> 00:31:04,230
but it has to be Basil beating the
car up.

565
00:31:04,390 --> 00:31:05,950
Cars can be a nuisance.

566
00:31:06,150 --> 00:31:10,950
Start, you vicious bastard, come on!

567
00:31:11,190 --> 00:31:15,270
Oh, my God! I'm warning you, if you
don't start...

568
00:31:15,510 --> 00:31:17,990
I don't think it can mean as much to
young people now.

569
00:31:18,150 --> 00:31:19,910
I mean, cars now all work.

570
00:31:20,150 --> 00:31:22,710
20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, cars
didn't work,

571
00:31:22,950 --> 00:31:26,670
and you had one chance in 50 or 30,
or whatever it was,

572
00:31:26,910 --> 00:31:29,510
that that morning, the bloody thing
won't start.

573
00:31:29,670 --> 00:31:32,670
Right, that's it! I've had enough!

574
00:31:32,910 --> 00:31:35,630
You've tried it on just once too
often! Right...

575
00:31:35,870 --> 00:31:38,470
That really made me laugh a lot.
It was the way he disappeared

576
00:31:38,710 --> 00:31:41,910
and they held the shot for quite a
long time,

577
00:31:42,150 --> 00:31:46,150
just long enough, really, to think,
"Where the Dickens has he gone?"

578
00:31:46,390 --> 00:31:48,910
Well, don't say I haven't warned
you!

579
00:31:49,150 --> 00:31:51,830
I've laid it on the line to you
time and time again!

580
00:31:51,990 --> 00:31:53,990
Right, well, this is it!

581
00:31:54,230 --> 00:31:56,470
I'm going to give you a damn good
thrashing!

582
00:31:58,550 --> 00:32:02,430
I figured, like everybody else, I'm
sure, that he was running home,

583
00:32:02,590 --> 00:32:04,390
and instead he comes back on screen.

584
00:32:04,630 --> 00:32:07,750
And he was obviously snapping off
a branch to whack it with.

585
00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:16,670
And it's just a sort of pathetic
attempt

586
00:32:16,910 --> 00:32:22,510
to sort of deal with technology, by
hitting it with a tree!

587
00:32:23,870 --> 00:32:26,630
How do you top a moment like that?

588
00:32:26,870 --> 00:32:29,030
Well, like this, according to John
Cleese,

589
00:32:29,270 --> 00:32:32,390
as he picks the third of his
personal favourites.

590
00:32:32,630 --> 00:32:36,950
I guess that the next little scene
is my personal favourite

591
00:32:37,190 --> 00:32:40,630
from the point of view of J Cleese,
brackets, actor,

592
00:32:40,870 --> 00:32:46,670
and it's a moment of great hope for
all of us,

593
00:32:46,830 --> 00:32:48,510
when Basil discovers

594
00:32:48,750 --> 00:32:51,230
that what he's got under the lid
is not duck,

595
00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:55,590
but he thinks there might be some
duck there anyway.

596
00:33:00,910 --> 00:33:03,910
So Uncle Ted comes in with his crate
of Brown Ale and...

597
00:33:04,070 --> 00:33:07,110
SHE CACKLES

598
00:33:07,350 --> 00:33:11,070
..and mother says, "Oh, Ted, look
who's here," and he says...

599
00:33:11,230 --> 00:33:13,310
SHE CACKLES AGAIN

600
00:33:13,470 --> 00:33:14,910
OK, Polly. OK.

601
00:33:15,070 --> 00:33:16,870
Got the sauces? Got them. Right.

602
00:33:17,110 --> 00:33:20,750
When someone has a moment of utter
disaster coming up,

603
00:33:21,310 --> 00:33:23,070
and the more puffed up they are
before it,

604
00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:26,350
the further they have to fall, and
it's terribly simple,

605
00:33:26,590 --> 00:33:29,310
it's almost mechanics, but it always
works.

606
00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:34,790
Ah! Ladies and gentlemen...so sorry
to have kept you waiting.

607
00:33:49,590 --> 00:33:51,710
You take the top off,

608
00:33:51,870 --> 00:33:55,190
realise, and then put it down again,

609
00:33:55,430 --> 00:33:57,750
as though that might somehow change
things.

610
00:34:09,510 --> 00:34:11,910
Well, who's for trifle?

611
00:34:13,110 --> 00:34:16,270
What? Trifle for you, Mrs Hall?

612
00:34:16,470 --> 00:34:19,230
What about the duck, Fawlty?

613
00:34:23,430 --> 00:34:25,110
Duck's off, sorry.

614
00:34:25,270 --> 00:34:26,670
I love the optimism,

615
00:34:26,910 --> 00:34:29,470
the fact there's just a chance that
we might...

616
00:34:29,710 --> 00:34:32,310
the fact that there might just be a
duck

617
00:34:32,590 --> 00:34:34,910
hidden in this horrible pink
blancmange,

618
00:34:35,070 --> 00:34:36,510
if only they looked carefully.

619
00:34:36,750 --> 00:34:40,150
That's all it is, it's the... it's
the hope.

620
00:34:41,430 --> 00:34:43,150
I can speak English...

621
00:34:43,430 --> 00:34:45,670
After the break, more of Basil's
Best Bits,

622
00:34:45,910 --> 00:34:49,910
as mein host welcomes some very
special European guests.

623
00:34:50,190 --> 00:34:53,390
Oh, German! I'm sorry, I thought
there was something wrong with you!

624
00:34:58,290 --> 00:35:00,210
Welcome back to Basil's Best Bits,

625
00:35:00,450 --> 00:35:04,330
as John Cleese picks his favourite
Fawlty Towers moments.

626
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,850
to watch the next episode when it
went out.

627
00:35:11,010 --> 00:35:12,330
It's up.

628
00:35:14,850 --> 00:35:16,050
It's down again.

629
00:35:16,290 --> 00:35:18,250
An incalculable number of fans
across the globe

630
00:35:18,490 --> 00:35:21,530
have since revelled in this little
piece of TV history.

631
00:35:23,930 --> 00:35:26,770
The episode opens with Sybil finding
herself in hospital

632
00:35:26,930 --> 00:35:29,370
for an ingrowing toenail operation.

633
00:35:29,610 --> 00:35:32,130
BASIL: Oh, yes, how is the old
toenail?

634
00:35:32,370 --> 00:35:35,610
Still growing in, hmm? Still
burrowing its way down to the bone?

635
00:35:35,810 --> 00:35:37,970
Still macheteing its way through the
nerve, eh?

636
00:35:38,130 --> 00:35:39,770
Basil is left to get on with the

637
00:35:40,250 --> 00:35:42,210
serious business of running the
hotel.

638
00:35:42,450 --> 00:35:44,690
On the agenda, testing the fire
drill,

639
00:35:44,850 --> 00:35:46,690
welcoming a party of Germans

640
00:35:46,970 --> 00:35:49,930
and hanging a certain decorative
hunting trophy.

641
00:35:51,610 --> 00:35:53,250
How are you, sir?

642
00:35:53,410 --> 00:35:55,570
You see, I speak English well.

643
00:35:55,730 --> 00:35:57,730
I learn it from a book.

644
00:35:57,970 --> 00:36:01,130
I liked the scene with the moose,
it's a nice sort...

645
00:36:01,290 --> 00:36:03,850
It's a clumsy prop.

646
00:36:04,090 --> 00:36:06,530
But it was a lovely idea for the
Major

647
00:36:06,770 --> 00:36:09,410
to think he's really got the DTs
now.

648
00:36:09,570 --> 00:36:11,570
How are you, sir?

649
00:36:14,290 --> 00:36:17,090
I can speak English.

650
00:36:17,370 --> 00:36:19,490
The Major can't see Manuel but he
can see the moose,

651
00:36:19,730 --> 00:36:21,610
so he thinks the moose is talking to
him,

652
00:36:21,850 --> 00:36:27,770
and it's just...a fantastically
funny scene.

653
00:36:27,930 --> 00:36:30,770
MANUEL: It's a beautiful day today.

654
00:36:30,970 --> 00:36:32,490
Is it? Oh, all right.

655
00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:33,930
Yes, yes, I suppose it is.

656
00:36:34,130 --> 00:36:35,930
Yes. I can speak English.

657
00:36:38,210 --> 00:36:39,810
I learn it from a book.

658
00:36:40,010 --> 00:36:42,290
Did you? Did you really?

659
00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:44,490
It shouldn't work. It's too silly.

660
00:36:44,730 --> 00:36:47,570
But the great thing about Fawlty
Towers is they know that this

661
00:36:47,810 --> 00:36:51,730
is an impossible scene but they
think if they act it really well,

662
00:36:55,570 --> 00:36:58,290
and, of course, that's the
confidence of the show.

663
00:37:03,090 --> 00:37:06,170
Andy should get a medal for what
he went through in Fawlty Towers.

664
00:37:06,410 --> 00:37:08,970
He was attacked, set on fire,
abused and everything.

665
00:37:09,210 --> 00:37:13,330
Andrew Sachs? No, no, never damaged
him at all, never, never.

666
00:37:13,570 --> 00:37:16,130
No. Health and safety looked after
him very well.

667
00:37:17,290 --> 00:37:19,050
Ah!

668
00:37:19,210 --> 00:37:21,370
Oh, no, no, no, no, please.

669
00:37:21,530 --> 00:37:23,170
No, no, no, no. Ah!

670
00:37:23,410 --> 00:37:26,570
It is quite an alarming sight,
Manuel in the kitchen catching fire.

671
00:37:26,810 --> 00:37:28,530
You think, "Well, so much for
realism,

672
00:37:28,770 --> 00:37:30,810
"but, you know, this is getting a
bit, you know...

673
00:37:31,050 --> 00:37:33,850
"This is over the top. Manuel is on
fire!"

674
00:37:34,010 --> 00:37:36,650
Fuego! Ah!

675
00:37:36,810 --> 00:37:39,930
HE SHRIEKS

676
00:37:40,170 --> 00:37:42,530
Properly rehearsed, it shouldn't
hurt at all,

677
00:37:42,930 --> 00:37:45,890
and normally it didn't.

678
00:37:46,050 --> 00:37:48,210
There were one or two exceptions.

679
00:37:50,490 --> 00:37:51,890
No, no! Yes!

680
00:37:52,130 --> 00:37:54,530
Si! Si! No, look, will you get back
in there?

681
00:37:54,770 --> 00:37:57,610
When I appear outside the kitchen
with my jacket smoking,

682
00:37:57,850 --> 00:38:02,090
that smoke was created with the use
of two chemicals on each other,

683
00:38:02,250 --> 00:38:03,890
and they create the smoke.

684
00:38:04,170 --> 00:38:05,610
ALARM RINGS
Mr Fawlty, it's fire!

685
00:38:05,850 --> 00:38:07,770
Did you hear what I said?
No, but it's fire!

686
00:38:07,930 --> 00:38:09,530
Is no fire. Is only drill!

687
00:38:11,130 --> 00:38:13,770
and I thought, "This can't
be right," but I carried on.

688
00:38:14,010 --> 00:38:16,610
Then it got a bit too hot, and I
said, "I've got to stop, sorry.

689
00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:19,770
"Can we just take my jacket off?"

690
00:38:20,010 --> 00:38:21,690
Took the jacket off and it was red
raw,

691
00:38:21,890 --> 00:38:24,050
acid burns I had on my shoulder.

692
00:38:26,530 --> 00:38:27,690
You save me.

693
00:38:31,170 --> 00:38:32,210
And that hurt.

694
00:38:32,370 --> 00:38:34,850
So if you ever see that episode,

695
00:38:35,010 --> 00:38:36,610
be sympathetic to my pain.

696
00:38:40,250 --> 00:38:43,290
After a knock on the head and a
quick trip to the hospital,

697
00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:46,290
Basil deals with a party
of European tourists.

698
00:38:46,530 --> 00:38:50,330
Cue one of the most famous scenes in
sitcom history.

699
00:38:50,490 --> 00:38:53,530
HE SPEAKS GERMAN

700
00:38:53,770 --> 00:38:57,130
I'm sorry, could you say that again?
Do you speak German?

701
00:38:57,370 --> 00:39:00,890
Oh, German! I'm sorry, I thought
there was something wrong with you!

702
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:05,690
There's a lot of times in Fawlty
Towers where John Cleese,

703
00:39:05,930 --> 00:39:09,530
through Basil Fawlty, will push it
further than most people would go.

704
00:39:10,130 --> 00:39:12,530
Basil hit on the head can go even
further than that.

705
00:39:12,770 --> 00:39:15,370
Here's the plan. I'll stand there
and ask them

706
00:39:15,610 --> 00:39:18,210
if they want something to drink
before the war.

707
00:39:18,450 --> 00:39:21,010
Before their lunch!
Before their lunch.

708
00:39:21,170 --> 00:39:24,090
Don't mention the war!

709
00:39:24,330 --> 00:39:30,530
He's trying so hard to be the
gracious host,

710
00:39:35,610 --> 00:39:39,210
is so ingrained in him that he can't.

711
00:39:39,450 --> 00:39:42,170
You can see in his mind, he's
thinking,

712
00:39:42,330 --> 00:39:44,090
"I must not talk about the war,"

713
00:39:44,330 --> 00:39:48,130
but it's almost as if the more he
tells himself he mustn't do it,

714
00:39:48,370 --> 00:39:51,650
the more he does, and it has got
some great jokes in it.

715
00:39:51,930 --> 00:39:56,490
I am the owner of Fawlty Towers,
and may I welcome your war...

716
00:39:56,690 --> 00:39:59,490
Your war, you all, you all, you all,

717
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,010
and hope that your stay will be a
happy one.

718
00:40:02,170 --> 00:40:03,770
Now, would you like to eat first

719
00:40:04,010 --> 00:40:06,330
or would you like a drink
before the war?

720
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:10,690
Meaning that trespassers will be
tied up with piano wire.

721
00:40:10,850 --> 00:40:12,450
Sorry! Sorry!

722
00:40:12,690 --> 00:40:15,450
It manages to do something that's
very, very hard to do,

723
00:40:15,690 --> 00:40:18,570
because it's politically incorrect
to mention anything about the war,

724
00:40:18,810 --> 00:40:22,850
and so it's a kind of Tourette thing,
whatever you shouldn't say comes out.

725
00:40:23,010 --> 00:40:24,450
Listen, don't mention the war.

726
00:40:24,690 --> 00:40:27,250
I mentioned it once, but I think
I got away with it.

727
00:40:27,490 --> 00:40:30,890
So, it's all forgotten now and let's
hear no more about it,

728
00:40:31,050 --> 00:40:32,690
so that's two egg mayonnaise,

729
00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:36,130
a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering
and four Colditz salads.

730
00:40:36,370 --> 00:40:39,570
There's no halfways about it, this is
very heavy,

731
00:40:39,810 --> 00:40:42,610
very, very heavy rudeness of an
enormous kind,

732
00:40:42,770 --> 00:40:44,690
and inescapable, that's the thing.

733
00:40:44,930 --> 00:40:47,690
Sorry, I got confused cos everyone
keeps mentioning the war.

734
00:40:47,970 --> 00:40:49,930
That's what's so wonderful about
Basil Fawlty,

735
00:40:50,090 --> 00:40:51,290
he's barely under control.

736
00:40:51,570 --> 00:40:54,290
He's constantly trying to tramp it
down.

737
00:40:54,570 --> 00:40:57,290
Would you stop talking about the
war? Me? You started it.

738
00:40:57,490 --> 00:40:59,010
We did not start it.

739
00:40:59,170 --> 00:41:00,930
Yes, you did, you invaded Poland.

740
00:41:03,210 --> 00:41:08,490
I guess The Germans is a pretty good
example of the sort of script

741
00:41:08,730 --> 00:41:11,010
which probably wouldn't be
anything like as funny

742
00:41:11,250 --> 00:41:13,130
if it weren't performed
by John Cleese,

743
00:41:13,370 --> 00:41:16,570
and that's certainly true of the
goose-stepping moment.

744
00:41:16,770 --> 00:41:18,930
Here, watch. Who's this then?

745
00:41:19,090 --> 00:41:23,250
SCREAMS IN GERMAN

746
00:41:23,370 --> 00:41:24,850
I'll do the funny walk!

747
00:41:25,010 --> 00:41:29,930
SHOUTS IN GERMAN

748
00:41:32,050 --> 00:41:35,650
That's the moment where he's
wonderful, because he's free

749
00:41:35,890 --> 00:41:38,650
and lots of people, mentally,
that's where they want to be,

750
00:41:38,810 --> 00:41:40,570
they want to just say things.

751
00:41:43,050 --> 00:41:47,810
Stop it! I'm trying to cheer her up,
you stupid Kraut!

752
00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:51,450
Cut through all the cleverness of the
scenario and depth of the character,

753
00:41:51,690 --> 00:41:54,930
it's John Cleese doing a funny walk,
and it doesn't get better than that.

754
00:41:55,210 --> 00:41:57,810
We may think that was one of
the funniest scenes ever,

755
00:41:58,010 --> 00:42:00,290
but John Cleese begs to differ.

756
00:42:00,530 --> 00:42:02,410
In fact, he's picked something
totally different

757
00:42:02,610 --> 00:42:04,490
as his fourth best bit.

758
00:42:04,650 --> 00:42:06,170
Most alarming.

759
00:42:06,410 --> 00:42:09,370
Everyone will think of Basil's silly
walking or goose-stepping around,

760
00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:12,250
and that's not what I've chosen
because I know that's funny,

761
00:42:12,490 --> 00:42:16,250
but it's just physical humour,
which is not hard to write.

762
00:42:16,490 --> 00:42:18,730
It may be good to perform,
but not hard to write.

763
00:42:18,970 --> 00:42:21,690
So I'm going to choose what is the
best bit for me of that episode,

764
00:42:21,930 --> 00:42:24,530
which comes before the Germans
come on the scene,

765
00:42:24,650 --> 00:42:26,650
and it's called the fire drill.

766
00:42:26,810 --> 00:42:28,570
ALARM RINGS

767
00:42:28,810 --> 00:42:31,050
Well, what's she put that on...
Oh, I might have guessed.

768
00:42:31,290 --> 00:42:34,450
Sorry, Major, only the burglar
alarm, sorry. What?

769
00:42:34,850 --> 00:42:36,130
Sorry, Miss Tibbs. What?

770
00:42:36,370 --> 00:42:39,210
That was the burglar alarm, fire
drill's not for a couple of minutes.

771
00:42:39,450 --> 00:42:42,570
Excuse me. Burglars, Fawlty?
No, my wife left the...

772
00:42:42,730 --> 00:42:44,090
Excuse me? Yes?

773
00:42:44,330 --> 00:42:47,330
That wasn't the fire bell. That was
the... I thought there was a drill.

774
00:42:47,570 --> 00:42:50,290
Yes, at 12 o'clock, but not yet.
But it is 12 o'clock.

775
00:42:50,530 --> 00:42:53,650
Not quite. Thank you. Excuse me.
Yes? Well, I make it 12 o'clock.

776
00:42:53,810 --> 00:42:55,250
I'm afraid that wasn't...

777
00:42:57,770 --> 00:43:00,690
It doesn't matter what time he
makes it, it hasn't started. What?

778
00:43:02,570 --> 00:43:04,210
But that was the bell, wasn't it?
No.

779
00:43:04,450 --> 00:43:07,890
I do love ensemble acting, when a
whole lot of funny people are there,

780
00:43:08,130 --> 00:43:10,010
because the quality of the humour
changes

781
00:43:10,250 --> 00:43:12,970
depending on the person who's
actually speaking,

782
00:43:13,210 --> 00:43:16,250
where the focus is, and it gives
a richness to it.

783
00:43:16,490 --> 00:43:20,090
That was the burglar alarm. See?
The burglar alarm? Yes!

784
00:43:20,250 --> 00:43:22,130
Are there burglars? Evidently.

785
00:43:22,330 --> 00:43:24,530
No, look, it's perfectly simple!

786
00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:27,290
We have the fire drill when I ring
the fire bell!

787
00:43:27,490 --> 00:43:29,170
That wasn't the fire bell, right?!

788
00:43:29,330 --> 00:43:30,850
How were we supposed to know that?

789
00:43:31,210 --> 00:43:34,010
It doesn't sound like the fire bell!
It did.

790
00:43:34,210 --> 00:43:35,650
It didn't! It did!

791
00:43:35,890 --> 00:43:39,050
No, it didn't! The fire bell is a
different... It's a semitone higher!

792
00:43:39,330 --> 00:43:42,130
What I loved about that particular
scene was Basil's attempt

793
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:46,130
to use logic to explain the
situation that had arisen,

794
00:43:46,610 --> 00:43:49,450
which, you know, there are a lot
of coincidences in it,

795
00:43:49,730 --> 00:43:51,970
and his utter failure to get across
to people.

796
00:43:52,250 --> 00:43:55,810
Then you run into this problem about
fire drills,

797
00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:59,050
when they announce that they will be
at a certain time.

798
00:43:59,290 --> 00:44:02,410
Anyway, the fire drill doesn't start
till 12 o'clock!

799
00:44:02,570 --> 00:44:05,170
It is 12 o'clock! Well, it is now,

800
00:44:08,170 --> 00:44:12,250
Look! How on earth can you expect
us to tell which bell is which? Oh.

801
00:44:12,410 --> 00:44:14,530
We haven't heard them yet, have we?

802
00:44:18,090 --> 00:44:20,210
Ought we to catch them first?
There aren't any!

803
00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:24,530
Then why does the alarm keep going?
All right, got that? Right.

804
00:44:26,050 --> 00:44:28,170
ALARM STOPS
Now, here is the fire bell.

805
00:44:28,530 --> 00:44:31,410
ALARM RINGS
It's a completely different sound,
listen.

806
00:44:34,250 --> 00:44:37,050
Well, where are you all going?!
Well, there is a drill, isn't there?

807
00:44:37,330 --> 00:44:40,450
No, no, no, no, no, no, this is
so that you can hear the bell

808
00:44:40,690 --> 00:44:43,090
so you know in a moment when I ring
the bell!

809
00:44:43,330 --> 00:44:45,610
What are you doing?! Will you come
back?!

810
00:44:45,770 --> 00:44:47,930
I just love the chaos that ensues,

811
00:44:48,170 --> 00:44:50,690
and there's a logical tightness
to it that pleases me.

812
00:44:50,930 --> 00:44:52,330
Now...
PHONE RINGS

813
00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:54,290
We're having it!!

814
00:44:54,530 --> 00:44:57,610
And John has some more surprises
in store after the break.

815
00:45:02,350 --> 00:45:04,150
After a hiatus of nearly four years,

816
00:45:04,390 --> 00:45:08,390
Fawlty Towers returned for a second
series in 1979.

817
00:45:08,550 --> 00:45:10,470
Despite divorcing during the break,

818
00:45:10,710 --> 00:45:14,350
writing team John Cleese and Connie
Booth delivered an even bigger hit,

819
00:45:14,590 --> 00:45:19,190
with viewing figures consistently
reaching ten million and beyond.

820
00:45:19,350 --> 00:45:20,550
Hot dog.

821
00:45:20,790 --> 00:45:23,790
Coming up, the man behind the show's
success, John Cleese,

822
00:45:24,030 --> 00:45:26,790
will be remembering his personal
favourite moments,

823
00:45:27,030 --> 00:45:29,830
so keep your eye out for more of
Basil's Best Bits.

824
00:45:31,510 --> 00:45:33,750
Is this a piece of your brain?

825
00:45:33,990 --> 00:45:37,030
It's business as usual at the start
of the second series,

826
00:45:37,270 --> 00:45:39,670
with Basil trying to prevent Sybil
finding out

827
00:45:39,830 --> 00:45:41,670
that he's had a bet on a horse,

828
00:45:41,910 --> 00:45:46,830
whilst a deaf and extremely fussy
old lady checks into the hotel.

829
00:45:47,070 --> 00:45:50,030
LADY: I specifically asked for a sea
view in my written confirmation,

830
00:45:50,190 --> 00:45:51,870
so please make sure I have it.

831
00:45:52,030 --> 00:45:53,190
MANUEL: Que?

832
00:45:53,430 --> 00:45:56,670
Soon, the grumpy Mrs Richards causes
havoc at Fawlty Towers.

833
00:46:00,070 --> 00:46:02,590
Some of the best moments, it becomes
clear,

834
00:46:02,830 --> 00:46:05,830
is when Basil meets somebody
as aggressive as him,

835
00:46:06,110 --> 00:46:08,070
when he's got a really worthy
opponent,

836
00:46:08,230 --> 00:46:10,070
not somebody he can browbeat.

837
00:46:10,310 --> 00:46:12,750
When I book a room with a bath,
I expect to get a bath.

838
00:46:12,910 --> 00:46:14,110
You've got a bath.

839
00:46:14,350 --> 00:46:18,950
I'm not paying £7.20 per night,
plus VAT, for a room without a bath.

840
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:20,110
There is your bath.

841
00:46:21,950 --> 00:46:24,830
You call that a bath? It's not
big enough to drown a mouse.

842
00:46:25,030 --> 00:46:26,750
It's disgraceful.

843
00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:28,910
I wish you were a mouse.

844
00:46:29,150 --> 00:46:31,790
For once, we're on Basil's side
she's a horrible old trout,

845
00:46:32,030 --> 00:46:36,470
and we really enjoy his sarcasm, and
no-one does sarcasm like John Cleese.

846
00:46:36,630 --> 00:46:39,230
I asked for a room with a view.

847
00:46:39,350 --> 00:46:40,470
Deaf, mad and blind.

848
00:46:40,710 --> 00:46:44,430
This is the view, as far
as I can remember, madam.

849
00:46:46,590 --> 00:46:47,950
When I pay for a view,

850
00:46:48,230 --> 00:46:50,830
I expect something more interesting
than that.

851
00:46:51,070 --> 00:46:53,230
That is Torquay, madam.
It's not good enough.

852
00:46:53,470 --> 00:46:56,670
Of course, this triggers the great
speech by Fawlty.

853
00:46:56,910 --> 00:47:01,150
This is almost, monologue-wise,
this is "to be or not to be".

854
00:47:01,310 --> 00:47:02,990
Well, may I ask what you were

855
00:47:03,230 --> 00:47:05,910
expecting to see out of a Torquay
hotel bedroom window?

856
00:47:06,070 --> 00:47:08,110
Sydney Opera House, perhaps?

857
00:47:08,270 --> 00:47:10,110
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?

858
00:47:10,350 --> 00:47:13,750
Herds of wildebeest sweeping
majestically... Don't be silly.

859
00:47:13,910 --> 00:47:15,870
I expect to be able to see the sea.

860
00:47:16,110 --> 00:47:19,590
You can see the sea. It's over
there, between the land and the sky.

861
00:47:21,110 --> 00:47:22,430
I need a telescope to see that.

862
00:47:22,670 --> 00:47:26,870
Well, may I suggest you consider
moving to a hotel closer to the sea?

863
00:47:27,030 --> 00:47:28,110
Or preferably in it.

864
00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:33,550
Things get worse for Basil when

865
00:47:33,790 --> 00:47:37,550
Sybil nearly finds out that he's won
money on a horse.

866
00:47:37,790 --> 00:47:41,030
Cue some quick thinking
by the staff.

867
00:47:43,030 --> 00:47:45,830
because she is the voice of sanity,

868
00:47:46,070 --> 00:47:49,070
the still calm around which the
madness happens,

869
00:47:49,310 --> 00:47:53,550
and yet she does try to get Basil out
of holes!

870
00:47:53,710 --> 00:47:55,750
The money in the office?

871
00:47:55,990 --> 00:47:58,310
You were counting it. Did someone
hand it in?

872
00:47:58,470 --> 00:48:01,070
Oh, no. No, it's mine.

873
00:48:01,190 --> 00:48:02,510
Yours?

874
00:48:02,670 --> 00:48:03,950
I won it.

875
00:48:04,190 --> 00:48:07,350
Sybil then asks Polly what the name
of the horse was

876
00:48:07,590 --> 00:48:10,470
and Polly doesn't know because
she's not put the bet on,

877
00:48:10,710 --> 00:48:13,510
so there's then the scene where Basil
has to

878
00:48:13,750 --> 00:48:15,950
kind of mime the name of the horse to
Polly

879
00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:17,910
while Sybil isn't looking,

880
00:48:18,070 --> 00:48:20,910
and gets it completely...

881
00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:23,750
It's like a big game of charades
really.

882
00:48:23,910 --> 00:48:27,350
The name? Oh... I've gone blank.

883
00:48:31,590 --> 00:48:34,470
Birdbrain. No, no, no, that came in
third.

884
00:48:34,710 --> 00:48:37,350
CONNIE BOOTH: Polly almost loses it,
because she's not getting it,

885
00:48:37,590 --> 00:48:41,950
she wants to rescue Basil, and she's
reaching for something,

886
00:48:42,350 --> 00:48:47,710
so we see her as slightly tentative,
and she may lose it.

887
00:48:47,870 --> 00:48:50,750
Fishwife. What?

888
00:48:50,910 --> 00:48:53,470
No. No, not... Small...

889
00:48:53,630 --> 00:48:55,790
Fly. Fly!

890
00:48:57,190 --> 00:49:00,350
You know Sybil sort of knows that
Fawlty's there and he's doing it,

891
00:49:00,590 --> 00:49:02,710
and for some reason
Sybil doesn't turn round,

892
00:49:05,870 --> 00:49:10,230
so she's going to actually drive
this game of mime to its conclusion.

893
00:49:10,390 --> 00:49:11,470
Flying Tart.

894
00:49:14,230 --> 00:49:15,870
No! No, no,

895
00:49:16,110 --> 00:49:21,270
it got off to a flying start,
and its name...was Dragonfly.

896
00:49:21,430 --> 00:49:23,190
Thank you, Polly.

897
00:49:24,950 --> 00:49:28,230
We have a sure-fire winner
for you now.

898
00:49:32,110 --> 00:49:35,350
by John Cleese
as his personal favourites.

899
00:49:35,590 --> 00:49:38,670
It's funny because
people are fond of Basil,

900
00:49:42,150 --> 00:49:45,510
If you had to spend five minutes
sitting next to Basil at dinner,

901
00:49:45,750 --> 00:49:49,950
you would hate him, but he makes
us laugh, so we forgive him,

902
00:49:50,110 --> 00:49:52,270
and here he is at his most hateful,

903
00:49:52,550 --> 00:49:55,910
taking advantage of a woman
with hearing problems.

904
00:49:56,150 --> 00:49:59,910
Mrs Richards, how very nice to see
you! Are you enjoying your stay?!

905
00:50:00,150 --> 00:50:02,870
There's no need to shout.
I have my hearing aid on.

906
00:50:03,110 --> 00:50:05,270
Oh. Mrs Richards, I've explained
to my husband...

907
00:50:05,430 --> 00:50:07,430
I've just been up to my room.

908
00:50:07,590 --> 00:50:09,390
£85 has been taken from my bag,

909
00:50:09,630 --> 00:50:11,950
which I had hidden
under the mattress.

910
00:50:12,110 --> 00:50:14,070
Oh, yes? It's a disgrace.

911
00:50:14,310 --> 00:50:16,910
I haven't been here a day.
What sort of staff do you employ?

912
00:50:17,150 --> 00:50:19,950
Mrs Richards... If you knew anything
about running a hotel,

913
00:50:20,190 --> 00:50:23,630
this sort of thing wouldn't happen.
Well, what have you got to say?

914
00:50:23,790 --> 00:50:25,910
HE MIMES SPEECH

915
00:50:30,550 --> 00:50:31,950
What?

916
00:50:32,110 --> 00:50:34,070
HE CONTINUES TO MIME

917
00:50:35,590 --> 00:50:36,510
(Basil!)

918
00:50:38,030 --> 00:50:41,190
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I haven't got it turned up enough.

919
00:50:41,350 --> 00:50:42,230
Basil!

920
00:50:42,390 --> 00:50:43,750
I SAID...

921
00:50:43,910 --> 00:50:47,150
Oh, oh, my head, my head.

922
00:50:47,310 --> 00:50:48,390
Has it come away?

923
00:50:48,630 --> 00:50:51,990
People love that scene,
and it is extraordinarily savage

924
00:50:52,270 --> 00:50:57,390
to take advantage of
someone's handicap in that way.

925
00:50:57,590 --> 00:51:00,870
Did you bang your head? Yes, yes.

926
00:51:01,150 --> 00:51:06,670
But you can do it because Mrs
Richards comes over as so unpleasant

927
00:51:06,830 --> 00:51:09,190
and so bossy and unsympathetic,

928
00:51:09,430 --> 00:51:11,550
it's OK, but
you have to establish that first,

929
00:51:11,790 --> 00:51:13,550
then it's all right
to have a go at her.

930
00:51:13,790 --> 00:51:17,310
My money's been taken. Yes, yes,
I know, try not to speak.

931
00:51:17,510 --> 00:51:19,150
Is this a piece of your brain?

932
00:51:21,230 --> 00:51:23,470
Is this a piece of your brain?

933
00:51:23,630 --> 00:51:26,510
Right, OK, great gag.

934
00:51:26,710 --> 00:51:28,430
So we're doing this in rehearsals

935
00:51:28,670 --> 00:51:30,790
and I noticed
that he didn't do that gag.

936
00:51:31,110 --> 00:51:33,870
He didn't pick it out.
They'd decided not to do it,

937
00:51:34,110 --> 00:51:37,470
and I said to him afterwards,
I said, "Why did you lose that?"

938
00:51:37,710 --> 00:51:40,870
and he said,
"Well, we didn't like it very much."

939
00:51:41,270 --> 00:51:43,230
I said, "You're mad,
you've got to do it,"

940
00:51:43,550 --> 00:51:47,270
and he actually put it back.
It's my one contribution
to rescuing the script.

941
00:51:51,070 --> 00:51:52,790
At the end of the episode,

942
00:51:53,070 --> 00:51:56,830
a mix-up with some money gives Basil
another taste of victory.

943
00:51:56,950 --> 00:51:58,430
But can it last?

944
00:52:00,350 --> 00:52:03,470
When he thinks he's won,
when he thinks, once,

945
00:52:03,710 --> 00:52:06,470
for once, the fates are kind
to Basil Fawlty,

946
00:52:06,670 --> 00:52:12,710
the glee, it's so profound.

947
00:52:12,870 --> 00:52:15,710
I'm £10 up on the deal. £10 up?

948
00:52:15,950 --> 00:52:19,430
Yes, yes, it's 95. Even if
I give her ten, I'm still ten up.

949
00:52:19,670 --> 00:52:23,350
Polly, for the first time in
my life, I'm ahead, I'm winning!

950
00:52:23,510 --> 00:52:25,470
HE LAUGHS GLEEFULLY

951
00:52:25,710 --> 00:52:28,470
Could it be that, as ludicrous
as these situations are,

952
00:52:28,710 --> 00:52:31,750
just once in a while Basil makes
a couple of quid on the side?

953
00:52:31,910 --> 00:52:34,150
No, of course not.

954
00:52:34,310 --> 00:52:36,430
What's that?

955
00:52:36,590 --> 00:52:39,070
This is mine.

956
00:52:39,230 --> 00:52:40,390
What's that, Basil?

957
00:52:40,550 --> 00:52:42,310
HE YELPS

958
00:52:42,510 --> 00:52:44,630
It's mine. What?

959
00:52:44,790 --> 00:52:46,550
It's the money I won on the horse.

960
00:52:46,790 --> 00:52:50,030
Oh, that's right, dear, Polly asked
me to put it in the safe for her.

961
00:52:54,150 --> 00:52:55,990
So that's all sorted out.

962
00:52:56,150 --> 00:52:58,350
This is your money, Polly.

963
00:53:00,630 --> 00:53:03,310
Fawlty, you did give me that money.

964
00:53:03,430 --> 00:53:04,870
You won it on that horse.

965
00:53:05,030 --> 00:53:06,590
Ah! Ah!

966
00:53:06,750 --> 00:53:07,630
SMASHING

967
00:53:09,230 --> 00:53:12,590
That cost £75.

968
00:53:14,990 --> 00:53:18,910
I remember doing the maths on this
and I think he's still ten quid up.

969
00:53:19,150 --> 00:53:21,830
Not that I was an obsessive schoolboy
or anything,

970
00:53:22,070 --> 00:53:24,870
but I think I worked out
that he was actually still up,

971
00:53:25,110 --> 00:53:27,430
not as much as he was,
but ten quid, that's a lot,

972
00:53:27,590 --> 00:53:29,150
nearly £1,000 in today's money.

973
00:53:30,390 --> 00:53:33,030
Basil's a lot happier
in the next episode,

974
00:53:33,270 --> 00:53:36,710
when he finds out that
a couple checking in are doctors.

975
00:53:36,870 --> 00:53:38,390
You're two doctors? Yes.

976
00:53:38,950 --> 00:53:40,750
Well, how did you become
two doctors? Hmm?

977
00:53:40,910 --> 00:53:42,670
I mean, did you take the exam twice?

978
00:53:42,950 --> 00:53:45,750
When one of them turns out
to be a psychiatrist,

979
00:53:45,910 --> 00:53:47,430
Basil becomes paranoid.

980
00:53:49,790 --> 00:53:51,950
The question,
"how often do you manage it?"

981
00:53:52,110 --> 00:53:54,630
in the world of British comedy

982
00:53:56,630 --> 00:53:59,070
it will always be understood
as to be the word "it"

983
00:53:59,350 --> 00:54:03,150
always refers to sex. That's
just a convention of British life.

984
00:54:03,430 --> 00:54:06,790
So somehow the fact that they were
talking about being in Torquay

985
00:54:07,070 --> 00:54:10,190
for a weekend and
where do you go for your holiday,

986
00:54:10,430 --> 00:54:13,110
holiday sex,
it worked out very nicely.

987
00:54:13,350 --> 00:54:15,590
If you would just sign that.
Thank you so much.

988
00:54:15,830 --> 00:54:18,790
Yes. We were just speculating
how people in your profession

989
00:54:19,030 --> 00:54:21,790
arrange their holidays,
how often you can get away.

990
00:54:23,910 --> 00:54:25,870
Hmm? How often do you manage it?

991
00:54:27,790 --> 00:54:28,790
Beg your pardon?

992
00:54:29,030 --> 00:54:31,150
How often can you and your wife
manage it?

993
00:54:34,430 --> 00:54:37,270
We're talking about, "Do you
get away often for holidays?""

994
00:54:37,550 --> 00:54:40,710
then he thinks we're talking
about sex and, you know,

995
00:54:40,950 --> 00:54:47,110
the vision of the two of them having
sex is quite a nerve-racking idea.

996
00:54:47,350 --> 00:54:50,830
About average, since you ask.
Average?

997
00:54:54,550 --> 00:54:56,430
Well, you tell me.

998
00:54:56,590 --> 00:54:59,430
Well, a couple of times a year?

999
00:54:59,590 --> 00:55:01,830
What?

1000
00:55:02,070 --> 00:55:05,470
I think probably they do
do it, from time to time,

1001
00:55:05,710 --> 00:55:08,390
and they don't discuss it
too much.

1002
00:55:08,550 --> 00:55:10,750
Well, we knew it must be difficult.

1003
00:55:11,030 --> 00:55:14,190
My wife didn't see how you
could manage it at all, you know.

1004
00:55:17,310 --> 00:55:20,310
Well, as you've asked, two or
three times a week, actually.

1005
00:55:21,550 --> 00:55:23,350
A week?
Yes, pretty normal, isn't it?

1006
00:55:23,590 --> 00:55:26,790
We're quite normal down here
in Torquay, you know.

1007
00:55:30,910 --> 00:55:34,390
The best gag
in the psychiatrist episode

1008
00:55:34,630 --> 00:55:37,390
is where the busty woman arrives
and she's really fit,

1009
00:55:37,550 --> 00:55:39,110
wearing a tight green T-shirt.

1010
00:55:39,350 --> 00:55:42,310
Here we are, this is your room.
I hope it's to your liking.

1011
00:55:42,550 --> 00:55:45,390
View of the English Riviera
down there behind the trees.

1012
00:55:45,550 --> 00:55:48,470
This is your bathroom, here we are.

1013
00:55:48,710 --> 00:55:51,350
Oh, light's not working.
I'll just fix it.

1014
00:55:51,590 --> 00:55:56,710
John Cleese has to fix the bulb in
the bathroom and the light switch

1015
00:56:00,710 --> 00:56:05,110
wants to do her stretches
on that particular wall.

1016
00:56:05,270 --> 00:56:06,790
Is there a restaurant near here?

1017
00:56:07,110 --> 00:56:11,110
There's an awfully good
little Welsh place, Leek House,
about five minutes walk.

1018
00:56:11,350 --> 00:56:14,110
You'd have to go straight away.
Oh, that'll do fine.

1019
00:56:14,350 --> 00:56:18,870
Just turn left out of the gate and
straight on, and it's on your right.

1020
00:56:24,030 --> 00:56:27,310
And he always has to explain.

1021
00:56:27,590 --> 00:56:31,630
"You don't understand,
this is not what it seems."

1022
00:56:31,910 --> 00:56:34,230
I didn't know she was there,
I was trying the switch.

1023
00:56:34,550 --> 00:56:38,350
It's pathetic, Basil. Look, Sybil,
I was reaching round for the switch.
Don't bother.

1024
00:56:38,590 --> 00:56:40,270
The lights weren't working
in the bathroom,

1025
00:56:40,510 --> 00:56:42,550
so I went in, checked
the fitting, which was loose.

1026
00:56:45,790 --> 00:56:50,150
Oh, and one word of advice,
if you're going to grope a girl,

1027
00:56:50,470 --> 00:56:53,910
have the gallantry to stay in the
room with her while you're doing it,
hmm?

1028
00:56:59,270 --> 00:57:01,710
Later in the episode,
a suspicious Basil becomes obsessed

1029
00:57:02,030 --> 00:57:06,710
with finding the girl
that a leather-trousered lothario
has sneaked into his bedroom.

1030
00:57:06,950 --> 00:57:10,750
You are aware of our rule
about visitors, are you?

1031
00:57:10,990 --> 00:57:14,550
Hmm? No visitors in guests' rooms
after ten o'clock.

1032
00:57:14,710 --> 00:57:17,470
Oh. Of the opposite...sex.

1033
00:57:17,630 --> 00:57:20,670
No, I wasn't. Ah. But I am now.

1034
00:57:20,910 --> 00:57:23,350
So you'll send up the champagne,
will you? What?

1035
00:57:23,510 --> 00:57:25,430
'There's this long haired bloke'

1036
00:57:25,670 --> 00:57:29,270
wearing a yellow
chamois leather shirt,

1037
00:57:29,430 --> 00:57:31,990
and tight brown leather trousers

1038
00:57:32,190 --> 00:57:33,870
and a medallion,

1039
00:57:34,110 --> 00:57:37,190
which I'm ashamed to say
all belonged to me.

1040
00:57:37,350 --> 00:57:38,870
Very well,

1041
00:57:39,030 --> 00:57:40,830
one bottle of champagne for one.

1042
00:57:40,990 --> 00:57:42,790
Thank you. And one glass.

1043
00:57:43,030 --> 00:57:44,990
That's all I'll need,
unless you'd care to join me?

1044
00:57:45,310 --> 00:57:48,070
No, thank you,
not while I'm on the job.
That's when I enjoy it the most.

1045
00:57:48,310 --> 00:57:52,190
Mr Johnson is obviously
sexually successful

1046
00:57:52,430 --> 00:57:55,230
and he knows he's hidden
a girl in his room.

1047
00:57:55,470 --> 00:57:58,830
He then becomes completely paranoid
because he can't find this girl.

1048
00:58:05,150 --> 00:58:09,030
This wall, we had some
complaints from downstairs,
so I'm just giving it a check.

1049
00:58:09,190 --> 00:58:11,670
OK, yes, I think that's fine.

1050
00:58:13,310 --> 00:58:15,510
No, no, we're all right.

1051
00:58:15,750 --> 00:58:17,910
Fine, well, sorry to disturb you.
Goodnight.

1052
00:58:18,070 --> 00:58:20,110
Goodnight. Goodnight. Night.

1053
00:58:20,350 --> 00:58:25,270
He doesn't care at all
about the privacy of his guests.

1054
00:58:25,510 --> 00:58:30,070
That's the amazing thing about
Basil Fawlty, that as a hotelier,

1055
00:58:30,190 --> 00:58:31,870
the guests are an irritation,

1056
00:58:32,190 --> 00:58:37,230
basically, and he goes in
and out of all their rooms,
tapping, he's tapping on doors.

1057
00:58:41,950 --> 00:58:43,070
Can I help you?

1058
00:58:43,310 --> 00:58:45,430
The bathroom.
Yes, second on the left.

1059
00:58:45,670 --> 00:58:49,950
And it's just wonderful because
it's so Basil, it's so pernickety

1060
00:58:50,390 --> 00:58:54,550
and detailed and so completely
pointless and senseless as well.

1061
00:58:54,790 --> 00:58:56,630
I just came in to check the walls.
Do you mind? Sorry.

1062
00:58:56,950 --> 00:59:01,390
And one of the wonderful moments
that the public remember is when he
climbs up a ladder to look through

1063
00:59:01,630 --> 00:59:05,950
the window of what he thinks is
a couple doing naughty things,

1064
00:59:28,910 --> 00:59:31,790
Mr Cleese didn't choose
any of these.

1065
00:59:32,030 --> 00:59:36,710
His next best bit is this
subtle scene from the same episode.

1066
00:59:36,870 --> 00:59:38,510
Another favourite moment of mine

1067
00:59:38,750 --> 00:59:41,990
is in the episode that Connie and
I wrote about the psychiatrist

1068
00:59:42,310 --> 00:59:47,990
being in the hotel and this very,
very sexy girl, because of course
Basil has all the disapproval

1069
00:59:48,150 --> 00:59:49,750
'of any sexual activity

1070
00:59:49,990 --> 00:59:53,630
'that anyone who's not getting
enough sex always shares.'

1071
00:59:53,790 --> 00:59:54,670
Very nice.

1072
00:59:54,830 --> 00:59:56,430
In this particular episode,

1073
00:59:56,670 --> 01:00:00,030
Basil gets caught in really
quite innocent circumstances

1074
01:00:00,350 --> 01:00:05,270
as he goes to apologise to the
very attractive Australian girl
for something that happened earlier.

1075
01:00:05,510 --> 01:00:08,790
Excuse me, I do apologise but I'm
afraid I shall have to ask you to...

1076
01:00:14,150 --> 01:00:16,590
KNOCK ON DOOR

1077
01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:18,190
Come in.

1078
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:23,270
Sorry to bother you,
I thought I'd better apologise
for my husband's behaviour.

1079
01:00:23,390 --> 01:00:24,950
No, please, really, Mrs Fawlty.

1080
01:00:25,190 --> 01:00:27,870
He's going through rather
a disturbed time at the moment.

1081
01:00:30,110 --> 01:00:33,950
he does seem a bit worked up
about something but I'm sure
there's an innocent explanation.

1082
01:00:37,270 --> 01:00:41,990
'I love the shot
of the finger round the door.'

1083
01:00:42,230 --> 01:00:44,350
You don't really see it
at the beginning.

1084
01:00:44,670 --> 01:00:50,750
It's just that that's the elephant
in the room as far as the audience
is concerned.

1085
01:00:50,990 --> 01:00:54,870
Are they going to notice it?
Are they not going to notice it?

1086
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:57,350
Because he could have got away
with it, you know.

1087
01:00:57,670 --> 01:01:01,430
If Sybil had gone out,
she'd gone back in the bathroom,
he could have been out of there.

1088
01:01:01,670 --> 01:01:04,750
You know, it was just was
the finger going to be seen?

1089
01:01:04,910 --> 01:01:06,030
Basil.

1090
01:01:10,990 --> 01:01:12,830
Hello, dear,
just checking the doors.

1091
01:01:15,630 --> 01:01:17,350
All right, what's going on?

1092
01:01:17,510 --> 01:01:18,870
I was in the bathroom.

1093
01:01:19,230 --> 01:01:22,670
Yes, she was, dear, so I popped in
to have a look at these hinges,
the ones we've been...

1094
01:01:22,870 --> 01:01:26,510
Do you really imagine
even in your wildest dreams

1095
01:01:26,670 --> 01:01:28,990
that a girl like this could possibly

1096
01:01:29,150 --> 01:01:34,950
be interested in an ageing
Brilliantine stick insect like you?

1097
01:01:35,110 --> 01:01:36,070
A girl like who, dear?

1098
01:01:36,350 --> 01:01:39,670
This one, Basil, the one you've
been chasing ever since she arrived.

1099
01:01:39,910 --> 01:01:45,190
When he was younger, I think he was
probably a little bit of a lad

1100
01:01:45,470 --> 01:01:51,470
and then I think the relationship
with Sybil, probably after a
reasonable start, went a bit south.

1101
01:01:51,790 --> 01:01:57,430
And I suspect there hasn't been too
much carnal knowledge involved in
that relationship for some time

1102
01:01:57,750 --> 01:02:02,510
and I think at that point people get
very embarrassed about it, because
not only do you have Basil's natural

1103
01:02:02,750 --> 01:02:05,150
embarrassment as lower middle
class English, but of course

1104
01:02:10,430 --> 01:02:11,430
What are you doing in there?

1105
01:02:11,670 --> 01:02:13,750
You know the trouble we've been
having with these hinges.

1106
01:02:14,070 --> 01:02:16,950
All right, I came in to apologise
for the incident just now,
when I thought

1107
01:02:17,230 --> 01:02:20,750
she was the girl in Johnson's
room, you remember when I
put my hand on the...

1108
01:02:21,110 --> 01:02:24,150
Any kind of sexuality is
out of bounds, which is why
he's so punitive

1109
01:02:24,310 --> 01:02:26,550
towards anyone else who looks

1110
01:02:26,790 --> 01:02:30,710
as though they might be
having an enjoyable time.

1111
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:38,430
Six down, four more of Basil's Best
Bits to go. Join us after the break.

1112
01:02:38,670 --> 01:02:42,110
Basil, there's a kipper
sticking out of your jumper.

1113
01:02:46,390 --> 01:02:50,750
Now a huge success with viewers and
critics alike, John and Connie added

1114
01:02:51,030 --> 01:02:54,550
a brand-new face to the regular cast
for the second series -

1115
01:02:54,790 --> 01:02:57,310
cheeky chef Terry,
played by Brian Hall.

1116
01:02:57,470 --> 01:02:59,150
Terry, this kitchen is filthy.

1117
01:02:59,550 --> 01:03:00,710
Filthy Towers, eh?

1118
01:03:00,870 --> 01:03:02,590
Tonight, for the first time,

1119
01:03:02,830 --> 01:03:06,710
John Cleese is sharing his all-time
favourite Fawlty moments.

1120
01:03:06,990 --> 01:03:10,150
We've discovered six so far,
the rest are soon to be revealed.

1121
01:03:10,310 --> 01:03:11,830
Oink, oink.

1122
01:03:13,830 --> 01:03:19,150
In the third episode,
an irascible American checks in late
and demands a meal.

1123
01:03:19,390 --> 01:03:21,030
What the hell's wrong
with this country?

1124
01:03:21,350 --> 01:03:24,470
You can't get a drink after three,
you can't eat after nine,
is the war still on?

1125
01:03:24,790 --> 01:03:30,830
But Terry the chef refuses to work
after nine o'clock, leaving Basil
to take on kitchen duties himself.

1126
01:03:33,270 --> 01:03:35,430
Anybody who's been to America knows

1127
01:03:35,670 --> 01:03:37,990
that there they have
a service culture,

1128
01:03:38,110 --> 01:03:39,630
that the notion is

1129
01:03:39,870 --> 01:03:42,870
if you have a job, you do that job
to the best of your ability.

1130
01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:44,310
It's widely acknowledged

1131
01:03:44,590 --> 01:03:47,390
that is not the same culture
that we have in this country.

1132
01:03:47,710 --> 01:03:51,710
Are you telling me that you can't
stay open a few minutes longer
so that we can eat properly?

1133
01:03:51,950 --> 01:03:53,750
Well, we can do you sandwiches.
Ham? Cheese?

1134
01:03:53,990 --> 01:03:56,350
We want something hot. Toasted
sandwiches? You're joking!

1135
01:03:56,510 --> 01:03:57,590
He says he wants some food,

1136
01:03:57,830 --> 01:03:59,910
he pays Basil money, you know,
"Get me some food",

1137
01:04:00,150 --> 01:04:03,510
then he asks for something
not terribly complicated.

1138
01:04:03,670 --> 01:04:06,630
Could you make me a Waldorf salad?

1139
01:04:07,950 --> 01:04:10,350
Oh, a...? Waldorf salad.

1140
01:04:10,590 --> 01:04:12,710
Well, I think
we're just out of Waldorfs.

1141
01:04:14,670 --> 01:04:16,510
He asks for a Waldorf salad.

1142
01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:20,670
Basil has absolutely no idea
what a Waldorf salad is.

1143
01:04:20,910 --> 01:04:23,590
It's just walnuts, isn't it?
Fantastic, it's a lovely salad.

1144
01:04:23,830 --> 01:04:28,630
It's apples, walnuts,
grapes, mayonnaise, celery.

1145
01:04:28,950 --> 01:04:32,990
What the hell's going on here?
It says hotel outside,
now is this a hotel or isn't it?

1146
01:04:33,230 --> 01:04:35,470
Well, within reason.
You know something, fella?

1147
01:04:35,710 --> 01:04:38,030
If this was back in the States,
I wouldn't board my dog here.

1148
01:04:38,190 --> 01:04:39,790
Fussy, is he? Poodle?

1149
01:04:39,950 --> 01:04:43,150
Poodle?

1150
01:04:43,310 --> 01:04:45,110
I'm not getting through to you, am I?

1151
01:04:45,270 --> 01:04:47,270
He was a no-nonsense man

1152
01:04:47,510 --> 01:04:52,470
and so for him to go after Basil
in the way he did was...

1153
01:04:52,630 --> 01:04:55,950
and Basil takes it, doesn't he?

1154
01:04:57,270 --> 01:05:01,350
And that leads us neatly into
number seven of Basil's Best Bits,

1155
01:05:01,550 --> 01:05:03,870
as lovingly picked by John Cleese.

1156
01:05:04,110 --> 01:05:09,070
This particular moment occurs after
the American has given Basil £20

1157
01:05:09,230 --> 01:05:11,470
to keep the chef on because they

1158
01:05:11,790 --> 01:05:17,030
arrived a little late and the chef
was about to leave, but Basil was
unable to do a deal with Terry.

1159
01:05:17,270 --> 01:05:20,710
So in fact Basil has to pretend
that Terry is in the kitchen,

1160
01:05:20,870 --> 01:05:22,030
when in fact he isn't

1161
01:05:22,270 --> 01:05:25,150
and just before he emerges,
he's been hit on the head,

1162
01:05:25,310 --> 01:05:26,590
which explains the hat.

1163
01:05:26,750 --> 01:05:28,070
Thank you. Incidentally,

1164
01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:32,470
Apparently, he thought
he'd already got...

1165
01:05:32,710 --> 01:05:33,790
That's very nice, thank you.

1166
01:05:34,150 --> 01:05:38,710
Thank you. ..got two orders for
Waldorf salad, you see, and in
fact he had the ingredients but...

1167
01:05:38,870 --> 01:05:40,870
No, that's fine, doesn't matter.

1168
01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:43,630
..he didn't realise he didn't
have enough for the second one...

1169
01:05:43,990 --> 01:05:47,590
Look, don't let it bother you.
Anyway, this will explain
everything.

1170
01:05:47,750 --> 01:05:49,630
What's that?

1171
01:05:49,870 --> 01:05:51,790
A letter. A letter.
A letter from the chef.

1172
01:05:52,030 --> 01:05:54,190
It explains everything.
A letter from the chef?

1173
01:05:54,510 --> 01:05:58,110
Yes. He wanted to apologise
personally but I didn't want him
wasting your time so I thought...

1174
01:05:58,470 --> 01:06:01,190
Just forget about it, will you?
I'll read it for you.
I want my steak.

1175
01:06:01,430 --> 01:06:04,670
Oh, won't be a moment. "Dear Mr and
Mrs Hamilton, I hope you are well.

1176
01:06:04,910 --> 01:06:08,270
"This is just a brief note to say
that I take full responsibility

1177
01:06:08,430 --> 01:06:10,310
"for the dreadful mess-ups tonight.

1178
01:06:10,630 --> 01:06:14,670
"If I'd only listened to Mr Fawlty,
none of this fiasco would have
occurred.

1179
01:06:14,790 --> 01:06:16,230
"I'd just like to tell you that

1180
01:06:16,470 --> 01:06:19,790
"such a cock-up has never occurred
in my career before and that now

1181
01:06:20,070 --> 01:06:24,270
"everything has been sorted out,
I'll be back to my very best form.
Signed, Ter..."

1182
01:06:32,350 --> 01:06:35,910
He's stuck in this ridiculous
position where everything's
going wrong

1183
01:06:36,150 --> 01:06:38,430
and of course he hates
to take the blame himself,

1184
01:06:38,670 --> 01:06:41,790
so he has to blame a person
who isn't even there

1185
01:06:41,950 --> 01:06:43,710
and I think that is a very,

1186
01:06:43,950 --> 01:06:47,550
very, very funny moment, when
he's shouting at the pretend Terry

1187
01:06:47,710 --> 01:06:49,710
and playing Terry's voice as well.

1188
01:06:51,910 --> 01:06:53,990
I've had just about enough of this.

1189
01:06:54,150 --> 01:06:56,630
Harry. How could you forget about it?

1190
01:06:56,870 --> 01:07:01,070
"I was making another Waldorf..."
Making another Waldorf salad?

1191
01:07:01,310 --> 01:07:03,710
What are you making another
Waldorf salad for?

1192
01:07:03,870 --> 01:07:06,430
"Careful, Mr Fawlty."

1193
01:07:06,670 --> 01:07:09,470
What do you think Mr and Mrs
Hamilton would think?

1194
01:07:16,030 --> 01:07:18,470
Mr Hamilton,
may I introduce Terry, who...

1195
01:07:21,670 --> 01:07:23,790
Where did he go?

1196
01:07:23,990 --> 01:07:25,550
Where's he gone, did you see him?

1197
01:07:25,790 --> 01:07:28,790
Maybe he went to get
something to eat.

1198
01:07:28,950 --> 01:07:30,030
"Where did he go?"

1199
01:07:30,230 --> 01:07:31,910
That's what I love about Basil.

1200
01:07:32,070 --> 01:07:34,590
His excuses are terrible.

1201
01:07:34,830 --> 01:07:37,350
They're not going to fool anyone,
but at least they're quick.

1202
01:07:41,870 --> 01:07:43,350
Come on, honey. What is it, Harry?

1203
01:07:43,590 --> 01:07:45,110
We're leaving.
Well, what's happened?

1204
01:07:45,430 --> 01:07:51,510
Eventually, the American has enough
and leaves, threatening to take
the rest of the guests with him.

1205
01:07:57,110 --> 01:08:01,750
are quite a lot of things wrong with
this hotel and with the proprietor in
general, and they start voicing it.

1206
01:08:02,070 --> 01:08:06,150
Of course, if this little hotel is
not to your taste, then you are free
to say so, that is your privilege

1207
01:08:06,470 --> 01:08:10,030
and I shall of course refund your
money, I know how important
it is to you Americans.

1208
01:08:10,350 --> 01:08:14,830
But you must remember that here in
Britain there are things that we
value more, things that perhaps in

1209
01:08:15,150 --> 01:08:20,030
America you've rather forgotten
about but which to we British
are far, far more important.

1210
01:08:20,190 --> 01:08:22,830
I'm not satisfied. The... what?

1211
01:08:23,070 --> 01:08:25,710
I'm not satisfied.
No, we're not satisfied.

1212
01:08:25,950 --> 01:08:28,310
Well, people like you
never are, are you? What? What?

1213
01:08:28,550 --> 01:08:32,390
One of my favourite bits
is the moment

1214
01:08:32,550 --> 01:08:34,430
where Basil sort of

1215
01:08:34,590 --> 01:08:38,070
reaches the nadir of hotel keeping

1216
01:08:38,350 --> 01:08:43,070
when he orders all the guests
out of his hotel.

1217
01:08:43,390 --> 01:08:49,230
You ponce in here, expecting to be
waited on hand and foot. Well,
I'm trying to run a hotel here.

1218
01:08:49,470 --> 01:08:53,390
Have you any idea of how much there
is to do? Do you ever think of that?

1219
01:08:53,590 --> 01:08:56,190
And it's this fact that
he cannot see the connection

1220
01:08:56,430 --> 01:08:59,550
between waiting on people
hand and foot and running a hotel.

1221
01:08:59,790 --> 01:09:03,190
Well, I've had 15 years
of pandering to the likes of you

1222
01:09:05,350 --> 01:09:09,110
Come on, pack your bags and get out.
They're packed.

1223
01:09:09,350 --> 01:09:12,310
Order ten taxis, will you,
I'll pay for them. Come on, come on.

1224
01:09:12,630 --> 01:09:17,070
What? What? Out, everybody out,
come on, upstairs, pack your bags.
Adios! Out!

1225
01:09:17,390 --> 01:09:24,110
The stakes are raised in the next
episode, when a sickly guest checks
out during the night, permanently.

1226
01:09:24,270 --> 01:09:26,630
He's dead. Dead? Who?

1227
01:09:26,790 --> 01:09:28,790
Number eight.

1228
01:09:31,470 --> 01:09:33,350
This presents a problem for Basil,

1229
01:09:33,590 --> 01:09:36,910
who thinks his out-of-date kippers
may have been responsible.

1230
01:09:39,150 --> 01:09:41,670
It's always a test of comedy
how far you're prepared to go.

1231
01:09:41,910 --> 01:09:45,230
Well, having someone die
in the hotel, bit risky?

1232
01:09:45,470 --> 01:09:49,110
No, handle it easily,
but having the man die

1233
01:09:49,350 --> 01:09:52,390
and then served breakfast, that gives
it, of course, a tremendous power.

1234
01:09:52,630 --> 01:09:55,270
But I'd le... What are you doing?
What are you doing?

1235
01:09:55,510 --> 01:09:59,390
I told her, I told her!
I could get 20 years for this.

1236
01:09:59,630 --> 01:10:01,990
What? The kippers,
the kippers, oh, my God.

1237
01:10:02,110 --> 01:10:04,590
Mr Fawlty, he's been dead for hours.

1238
01:10:07,150 --> 01:10:08,590
he must have died in his sleep.

1239
01:10:08,910 --> 01:10:14,150
The moment I love in this is this
coincidence where Fawlty finds out
there was nothing wrong

1240
01:10:14,390 --> 01:10:17,190
with the kipper and says,
"Oh, joy, joy",

1241
01:10:17,430 --> 01:10:20,870
just as the doctor comes in
to see the dead guest.

1242
01:10:21,030 --> 01:10:22,790
He's stone cold. Yes.

1243
01:10:24,310 --> 01:10:25,750
Oh, joy.

1244
01:10:25,910 --> 01:10:28,190
Oh, thank you, God.

1245
01:10:28,430 --> 01:10:30,990
Oh, isn't it wonderful?
I'm so happy. Hooray.

1246
01:10:38,750 --> 01:10:40,910
May I ask who...

1247
01:10:41,150 --> 01:10:43,390
Bit stuffy, isn't it?
I'll open a window.

1248
01:10:43,630 --> 01:10:45,590
The doctor is there,
there's a dead body there,

1249
01:10:45,790 --> 01:10:47,910
there's a madman
at the window, Basil,

1250
01:10:48,110 --> 01:10:50,790
and it's all going on

1251
01:10:54,150 --> 01:10:59,430
than Geoffrey, that face trying to
glean exactly what is going on.

1252
01:10:59,670 --> 01:11:01,950
Well, who brought the breakfast?
Who found him?

1253
01:11:04,110 --> 01:11:05,710
Oh. I brought the breakfast.

1254
01:11:05,870 --> 01:11:09,070
What's that? That's a bit of it.

1255
01:11:09,270 --> 01:11:10,870
A bit of what?

1256
01:11:11,030 --> 01:11:13,230
A bit of the breakfast.

1257
01:11:13,470 --> 01:11:18,670
I think my favourite moment
from the episode is the kipper...

1258
01:11:20,310 --> 01:11:22,350
..sticking out here
and what goes with it.

1259
01:11:22,590 --> 01:11:25,470
What are you looking at me
like that for?

1260
01:11:27,630 --> 01:11:31,150
Basil, there's a kipper
sticking out of your jumper.

1261
01:11:34,310 --> 01:11:36,070
Ah, there is it.
I've been looking for that.

1262
01:11:36,430 --> 01:11:38,110
That's the other one.

1263
01:11:41,070 --> 01:11:43,790
Having dealt with the kippers,
Basil's next challenge

1264
01:11:44,070 --> 01:11:47,990
is to work out where to put
a dead body in a fully booked hotel.

1265
01:11:48,270 --> 01:11:50,110
Not only do you think,
"Oh, yes, that would be awful

1266
01:11:50,430 --> 01:11:54,990
"for Basil, for that to happen
to him", but you think, "Yes, well,
that must happen a lot in hotels".

1267
01:11:55,230 --> 01:11:57,990
Good morning, Manuel.
Oh, good morning. Oh!

1268
01:11:58,270 --> 01:12:01,790
You dropped this. Oh, it's all right,
leave it, no, leave it, it's heavy.

1269
01:12:02,230 --> 01:12:03,790
Oh, no, it's quite all right.
We can manage.

1270
01:12:04,030 --> 01:12:05,790
Oh, it's no bother.
No, no, leave it alone.

1271
01:12:06,070 --> 01:12:08,110
I know, if I just fold them
like this. Yes, go away.

1272
01:12:08,310 --> 01:12:11,590
Move, Manuel, move, move, move.

1273
01:12:11,830 --> 01:12:14,550
Carrying a dead body around
is a horrible thing in his pyjamas.

1274
01:12:14,790 --> 01:12:17,670
And Miss Tibbs is bound to see him,
you know, they're trying to cover

1275
01:12:17,830 --> 01:12:19,350
him up with linen and stuff and,

1276
01:12:19,590 --> 01:12:22,630
you know, there's a dead body
and she's nearest to death

1277
01:12:22,790 --> 01:12:25,270
out of all the characters,
so I'd imagine it's worse for her.

1278
01:12:25,510 --> 01:12:27,430
I'll do it, Miss Tibbs.
No, it's all right.

1279
01:12:27,750 --> 01:12:32,230
Ah! He's dead!

1280
01:12:32,470 --> 01:12:34,830
Oh, my God.
It's all right, Miss Tibbs.

1281
01:12:34,990 --> 01:12:36,550
Shut up, shut up! Oh, my God.

1282
01:12:36,710 --> 01:12:38,150
Slap her. Slap her. Slap her. What?

1283
01:12:38,390 --> 01:12:40,870
She's hysterical, slap her.
Murder! Slap her. Murder!

1284
01:12:41,030 --> 01:12:43,070
Slap her!

1285
01:12:45,110 --> 01:12:47,990
The audience, they did gasp
a little bit, didn't they?

1286
01:12:48,270 --> 01:12:50,190
That's true.

1287
01:12:50,430 --> 01:12:53,510
Yes, yes, I guess they did,
because she's so tiny,

1288
01:12:53,670 --> 01:12:55,070
but it had to be done.

1289
01:12:55,230 --> 01:12:58,750
Oh, spiffing. Absolutely spiffing.

1290
01:12:58,910 --> 01:13:01,670
Well done. Two dead, 25 to go.

1291
01:13:01,910 --> 01:13:05,870
It's a wonderfully choreographed,
increasingly desperate search for

1292
01:13:06,030 --> 01:13:07,870
somewhere to dump this damn body.

1293
01:13:08,030 --> 01:13:09,270
Right, in there. In there.

1294
01:13:09,510 --> 01:13:14,310
Oh, oh, my God. Oh, sorry, sorry,
coming in like that. Sorry.

1295
01:13:15,670 --> 01:13:20,150
The blow-up doll and then
in the kitchen and, I mean,
it's wonderful, wonderful stuff.

1296
01:13:20,310 --> 01:13:22,430
Hello, Sybil, how are you?

1297
01:13:22,670 --> 01:13:26,150
Coming up, John Cleese
picks Basil's very best bit.

1298
01:13:26,310 --> 01:13:29,670
Any ideas what that could be?

1299
01:13:29,950 --> 01:13:33,670
I don't know how to answer that.
I don't know what John would pick.

1300
01:13:33,910 --> 01:13:37,670
Would he choose something which
shows his great technical skill,

1301
01:13:37,910 --> 01:13:40,510
or will he choose a moment which
was just carefully written

1302
01:13:40,670 --> 01:13:41,710
by him and Connie Booth?

1303
01:13:41,950 --> 01:13:46,030
I'm going to guess
it's the conversation with the Major

1304
01:13:46,190 --> 01:13:48,510
where he's in the bar with a gun.

1305
01:13:48,750 --> 01:13:50,350
Do you need any help, Major?
Don't move.

1306
01:13:53,610 --> 01:13:55,410
I know nothing. No, no, no, no, no.

1307
01:13:55,650 --> 01:13:59,330
Nothing. Now a huge success
with viewers and critics alike,

1308
01:13:59,650 --> 01:14:05,770
the filming of the second series
of Fawlty Towers was disrupted by
the industrial disputes of 1979.

1309
01:14:06,010 --> 01:14:08,490
And fans had to wait
for the last two episodes,

1310
01:14:08,770 --> 01:14:12,690
which were delayed for a week
and a whole six months respectively.

1311
01:14:12,850 --> 01:14:14,770
Do you mind?

1312
01:14:14,930 --> 01:14:15,890
Que?

1313
01:14:17,130 --> 01:14:20,650
In the first of these delayed
episodes, Basil has arranged

1314
01:14:20,810 --> 01:14:22,850
a surprise party for Sybil,

1315
01:14:23,090 --> 01:14:26,890
but he's pretending
he's forgotten what day it is.

1316
01:14:27,050 --> 01:14:29,290
17th April, well, well, well.

1317
01:14:29,530 --> 01:14:34,010
Does that stir any memories
in you, Basil? Agincourt?

1318
01:14:34,330 --> 01:14:41,370
Sybil storms off, upset, so Basil
tells the party goers the ingenious
excuse that she is sick in bed.

1319
01:14:44,290 --> 01:14:45,850
The surprise party for Sybil

1320
01:14:46,090 --> 01:14:49,850
is another moment when it's, like,
heart-wrenching, really, and you

1321
01:14:50,090 --> 01:14:53,530
feel so awful for Basil
the moment he realises

1322
01:14:53,810 --> 01:14:58,330
that he's overstepped the mark
and he's actually convinced

1323
01:14:58,570 --> 01:15:01,930
Sybil that he doesn't know
it's their wedding anniversary.

1324
01:15:02,090 --> 01:15:03,210
Mrs Fawlty, she go.

1325
01:15:03,450 --> 01:15:06,890
What?
She leave, she leave, she go out.

1326
01:15:07,090 --> 01:15:08,490
What?

1327
01:15:08,650 --> 01:15:11,530
Sybil!

1328
01:15:11,770 --> 01:15:16,610
Oh, Sybil, Sybil, Sybil, no, no,
no, no! I remembered, Sybil.

1329
01:15:26,970 --> 01:15:29,090
This is Fawlty going beyond despair.

1330
01:15:29,370 --> 01:15:32,650
He's already in despair, he's
always in despair and then actually

1331
01:15:32,890 --> 01:15:36,850
the physical act of despair,
which is such a Cleese thing

1332
01:15:37,170 --> 01:15:42,890
to act it out so dramatically but
also in a very credible way, and then
of course the guests arrive.

1333
01:15:46,930 --> 01:15:48,770
Everything all right?

1334
01:15:50,530 --> 01:15:53,370
Bit of a bump,
just smoothing it out.

1335
01:15:53,610 --> 01:15:57,930
In Fawlty Towers,
there's almost always a witness.

1336
01:15:58,170 --> 01:16:02,090
I mean, there's no humiliation
unless someone sees it.

1337
01:16:06,090 --> 01:16:10,570
As Sybil's friends arrive to
celebrate the happy occasion,

1338
01:16:10,930 --> 01:16:13,050
Basil panics. Panics and lies.

1339
01:16:13,290 --> 01:16:16,170
Thank you, thank you, yes.
She's not well. Hmm? Sybil.

1340
01:16:17,970 --> 01:16:20,090
That's not like Sybil.

1341
01:16:20,250 --> 01:16:21,650
And she's lost her voice.

1342
01:16:21,850 --> 01:16:23,650
We were their saddo friends.

1343
01:16:23,930 --> 01:16:27,410
I mean, really,
did they have any friends? Really?

1344
01:16:33,090 --> 01:16:35,650
they'd rustled together
for this anniversary.

1345
01:16:35,890 --> 01:16:38,570
Where is Sybil? She's in bed.
Oh, dear.

1346
01:16:38,810 --> 01:16:41,130
Yes, she's not well, she really
mustn't see anybody. Now...

1347
01:16:41,370 --> 01:16:44,130
What, not at all? No. Can't we
just put our heads round the corner?

1348
01:16:44,450 --> 01:16:48,370
No, I'm afraid not. She mustn't
have any excitement. Oh, Basil.
What do you mean, "Oh, Basil"?

1349
01:16:48,610 --> 01:16:51,450
Well, we are her oldest friends, old
man, I mean it can only do her good,

1350
01:16:51,690 --> 01:16:53,170
and we have come over here
to see you both.

1351
01:16:53,410 --> 01:16:55,090
Well, I'm sorry
if you've been put out.

1352
01:16:55,330 --> 01:16:57,170
You'll have some drinks,
see your old friends,

1353
01:16:57,410 --> 01:16:59,810
have some laughs, but
if that isn't good enough,

1354
01:16:59,970 --> 01:17:01,610
I'll refund your petrol for you.

1355
01:17:01,970 --> 01:17:06,490
Why? Why can't he say "She went out,
she's not here, she's, you know,
coming"? I mean, it's just like...

1356
01:17:06,730 --> 01:17:09,410
He gets himself into these
incredible situations.

1357
01:17:09,650 --> 01:17:12,250
Where are you going?
I'm going to see her.

1358
01:17:12,490 --> 01:17:14,970
Basil, there is something
very peculiar about all this.

1359
01:17:15,210 --> 01:17:17,490
I'm not standing here
while an old friend like Sybil...

1360
01:17:17,730 --> 01:17:20,250
Look, look, it's perfectly Sybil.
Simple's not well.

1361
01:17:20,490 --> 01:17:22,130
She's lost her throat
and her voice hurt.

1362
01:17:22,370 --> 01:17:24,850
The doctor came and said it was
a bit serious, not a lot, a bit.

1363
01:17:25,090 --> 01:17:27,530
He went away, she started
to puff up, he's coming back

1364
01:17:27,770 --> 01:17:30,410
later this afternoon and it's
best for her to be on her own.

1365
01:17:30,530 --> 01:17:32,730
Now, what is so peculiar about that?

1366
01:17:32,970 --> 01:17:37,450
The episode's stand-out moment,
or should that be lie-down moment,

1367
01:17:37,690 --> 01:17:42,330
is the eighth of John Cleese's
personal favourite bits.

1368
01:17:42,650 --> 01:17:49,570
This is the scene where the guests
have finally insisted on seeing
Sybil, so he's got Polly in bed

1369
01:17:49,810 --> 01:17:54,450
dressed as Sybil and in the middle
of it something disastrous happens.

1370
01:17:58,690 --> 01:18:00,930
Sorry you're not well. Such a shame.

1371
01:18:01,210 --> 01:18:04,890
So we thought we'd come and wish you
happy anniversary. Yes, happy an..

1372
01:18:05,050 --> 01:18:06,530
Oh! What's the matter?

1373
01:18:06,810 --> 01:18:09,130
Reg has fallen over. Are you
all right, Reg? Done my ankle.

1374
01:18:09,410 --> 01:18:11,450
Oh, dear. You all right, Reg?
Careful!

1375
01:18:11,730 --> 01:18:15,010
I think it was bold to start
that scene almost in darkness

1376
01:18:15,250 --> 01:18:17,690
but I think
it was because I started in radio

1377
01:18:17,970 --> 01:18:20,810
and I know that there are
certain things that are funny,

1378
01:18:21,010 --> 01:18:22,690
certain sounds that are funny.

1379
01:18:23,010 --> 01:18:28,810
And for example the sound of
somebody kicking a metal
wastepaper basket is just funny.

1380
01:18:28,970 --> 01:18:29,930
CLANGING

1381
01:18:30,250 --> 01:18:32,530
Ah! Who's that? Me. It's Kitty.

1382
01:18:32,770 --> 01:18:35,490
Where are you, dear? Can't we
have some light in here, Basil?

1383
01:18:37,450 --> 01:18:39,370
Here we are.

1384
01:18:39,610 --> 01:18:42,850
OK? If we have the lights on,
we can see the screen.

1385
01:18:43,010 --> 01:18:44,730
Oh, dear. Are you all right, Kitty?

1386
01:18:44,890 --> 01:18:46,530
I think so. Oh!

1387
01:18:46,770 --> 01:18:48,690
You shouldn't have gone
to all this trouble, Baz.

1388
01:18:48,930 --> 01:18:51,250
Well, come on, come on up here.
OK, you both all right?

1389
01:18:51,530 --> 01:18:54,130
Come on, come on round there, OK?
You can see her from there.

1390
01:18:54,370 --> 01:18:58,210
There, everything all right, dear?
Here she is. Hello, Sybil.

1391
01:18:58,410 --> 01:18:59,770
Oh, yes, looks...

1392
01:19:00,050 --> 01:19:02,130
There's something there,
I can see her moving.

1393
01:19:02,370 --> 01:19:04,930
It's a bit dark, Basil. Yes,
well, her eyes are very sensitive.

1394
01:19:05,210 --> 01:19:07,810
She's got her glasses. Yes, well,
I'll just draw the curtains.

1395
01:19:07,970 --> 01:19:09,090
Yes, I know they are, dear.

1396
01:19:09,330 --> 01:19:11,970
It's all right, trust me,
trust me, dear, trust me.

1397
01:19:13,890 --> 01:19:15,650
There we are. Ah!

1398
01:19:15,890 --> 01:19:18,890
Is that better?
Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary.

1399
01:19:19,130 --> 01:19:22,330
When I watched it again,
I was astonished that

1400
01:19:25,810 --> 01:19:29,730
I couldn't quite believe that it
was true, but there's one particular

1401
01:19:29,970 --> 01:19:34,930
shot when she could almost pass for
her and I like the sheer absurdity

1402
01:19:35,250 --> 01:19:42,290
of Polly, who really does not want
to do this, and is just trying
"Mmm, mmm", to say "No, no".

1403
01:19:42,450 --> 01:19:44,050
We brought you a cake. Oh, yes, here.

1404
01:19:44,290 --> 01:19:48,490
Have a little bit dear. Oh, oh,
have a little bit, yes, go on.

1405
01:19:48,730 --> 01:19:52,890
Mmm, mmm.
Oh, yes. Well, 15 years, eh?

1406
01:19:53,210 --> 01:20:00,330
And then that terrible moment when
Basil looks down and the car comes
back and the whole thing collapses.

1407
01:20:00,490 --> 01:20:02,930
15 years, eh?

1408
01:20:04,610 --> 01:20:06,890
Aaah! What is it? What is it?

1409
01:20:07,210 --> 01:20:10,330
I just remembered something
downstairs. You stay here,
have a chat with Polly.

1410
01:20:10,490 --> 01:20:12,650
Sybil, Sybil. Shan't be a moment.

1411
01:20:16,290 --> 01:20:19,930
And you've forgotten, I think,
that Sybil could come back.

1412
01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:24,050
The final episode of Fawlty Towers
features a health inspector

1413
01:20:24,290 --> 01:20:26,930
who's less than satisfied
with the service.

1414
01:20:27,170 --> 01:20:31,490
The only gourmets you'll find
scavenging in this kitchen

1415
01:20:31,650 --> 01:20:33,370
will be kamikaze ones.

1416
01:20:33,610 --> 01:20:35,770
Thought we was in trouble
there for a minute.

1417
01:20:35,970 --> 01:20:39,410
Basil sets about rectifying
the situation, but is thwarted

1418
01:20:39,650 --> 01:20:44,250
by Manuel, who appears to have been
keeping his own guest at the hotel.

1419
01:20:47,250 --> 01:20:51,130
It was the first scene that
we ever got an insight into

1420
01:20:51,370 --> 01:20:55,530
background of Manuel and his tastes
and likes, which was rather sweet,

1421
01:20:55,770 --> 01:21:00,730
an escape from being harangued
by Basil.

1422
01:21:00,970 --> 01:21:06,330
# She may be the thing
I can't forget

1423
01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:10,130
# The pleasure or the price
I got to pay

1424
01:21:10,290 --> 01:21:12,050
# She may be the...#

1425
01:21:12,290 --> 01:21:15,010
Manuel, I'm sorry, this is
an emergency, important, si?

1426
01:21:15,250 --> 01:21:18,090
The health inspector's just been,
things wrong with hotel.

1427
01:21:18,330 --> 01:21:23,410
It was nice to see him and I like
the idea of the dressing gown,

1428
01:21:23,650 --> 01:21:25,770
very Noel Coward in a way,
wasn't it?

1429
01:21:25,930 --> 01:21:27,730
Now, Manuel, go up to the roof.

1430
01:21:27,970 --> 01:21:30,370
The roof, si. Yes. No, no, come,
I haven't told you yet.

1431
01:21:30,610 --> 01:21:34,570
Manuel is there to be loved. I mean,
he is the classic little bloke

1432
01:21:36,050 --> 01:21:39,330
and doesn't even understand why
most of the time.

1433
01:21:39,690 --> 01:21:42,090
Two dead pigeons, water tank.

1434
01:21:44,850 --> 01:21:46,490
What is funny?

1435
01:21:46,730 --> 01:21:51,050
How they get up there?
How they? They flew up there.

1436
01:21:51,210 --> 01:21:53,010
That's right.

1437
01:21:53,170 --> 01:21:56,090
Oink, oink, oink. Stop it. Just...

1438
01:21:58,330 --> 01:22:00,290
Not pigs, pigeons.

1439
01:22:00,410 --> 01:22:02,290
Que?

1440
01:22:02,450 --> 01:22:05,690
Pigeon, pigeon. Like your English!

1441
01:22:06,010 --> 01:22:13,490
We knew that we needed a rat, but to
have a rat arrive when the inspector
arrived would be too contrived,

1442
01:22:13,810 --> 01:22:19,370
so I thought "Well,
Manuel might have a pet rat
that was sold to him as a hamster".

1443
01:22:19,530 --> 01:22:20,890
What is that?

1444
01:22:21,050 --> 01:22:23,170
Is my hamster. Pigeon.

1445
01:22:25,130 --> 01:22:27,450
A hamster?
Si, si. No, no, no, pigeon.

1446
01:22:27,610 --> 01:22:29,850
Manuel, it's a rat. Pigeon.

1447
01:22:30,010 --> 01:22:31,890
It's a rat. No, no, no, is hamster.

1448
01:22:32,130 --> 01:22:34,570
Well, of course it's a rat.
You have rats in Spain, don't you?

1449
01:22:34,730 --> 01:22:36,450
Or did Franco have them all shot?

1450
01:22:37,770 --> 01:22:39,410
Is hamster. It's a rat.

1451
01:22:39,570 --> 01:22:41,170
Well, I think so too. What?

1452
01:22:43,690 --> 01:22:49,370
He say "No, no, no, is a special kind
of hamster, is filigree Siberian
hamster, the only one in shop."

1453
01:22:49,610 --> 01:22:52,970
He make special price,
only five pound.

1454
01:22:53,290 --> 01:22:57,530
Have you ever heard of the bubonic
plague, Manuel? It was very
popular here at one time.

1455
01:22:57,770 --> 01:23:02,050
A lot of pedigree hamsters came over
on ships from Siberia. What you do?

1456
01:23:02,250 --> 01:23:03,650
I'm sorry Manuel, this is a rat.

1457
01:23:03,890 --> 01:23:07,130
No, is hamster. Is not hamster.
Hamsters are small and cuddly.

1458
01:23:07,410 --> 01:23:09,490
Cuddle this, you'd never
play the guitar again.

1459
01:23:13,410 --> 01:23:15,770
Stay where you are, old chap.

1460
01:23:16,010 --> 01:23:20,690
Needless to say, the rat later
escapes. Don't move.

1461
01:23:20,930 --> 01:23:23,810
Luckily,
there's a professional on hand.

1462
01:23:24,050 --> 01:23:26,770
Basil Fawlty realises
that he's seen the Major

1463
01:23:27,650 --> 01:23:30,770
with a gun through the corner of his
eye, through his peripheral vision.

1464
01:23:31,010 --> 01:23:33,530
'There's something about the Major,
everyone loves the Major.'

1465
01:23:33,850 --> 01:23:37,330
It's like of course
he's had this double barrelled
shotgun in his room the whole time.

1466
01:23:38,970 --> 01:23:39,930
Don't move.

1467
01:23:41,890 --> 01:23:42,810
Vermin.

1468
01:23:45,210 --> 01:23:48,290
Obviously, he's leading this quite
bizarre sheltered life now but he has

1469
01:23:48,490 --> 01:23:52,850
seen some action and he's going to
get a chance now to shoot something.

1470
01:23:53,090 --> 01:23:57,210
And the fact that Basil thinks
it's Germans rather than vermin

1471
01:23:57,490 --> 01:24:01,650
obviously is a wee extra layer of
comedy and xenophobia to play with.

1472
01:24:01,850 --> 01:24:03,530
We haven't got any this week, Major.

1473
01:24:03,770 --> 01:24:06,890
Hmm? No Germans staying
this week, Major. May I...

1474
01:24:07,050 --> 01:24:08,570
Going to shoot him, Fawlty.

1475
01:24:08,730 --> 01:24:10,330
Yes, Major... Hmm?

1476
01:24:10,570 --> 01:24:13,770
Not legal actually any more. Murder.
But they're animals, Fawlty.

1477
01:24:14,010 --> 01:24:17,450
Oh, yes, yes, still, forgive and
forget, eh? Well, pretend we do.

1478
01:24:17,610 --> 01:24:20,250
Eh? But they spread disease, Fawlty.

1479
01:24:20,490 --> 01:24:24,050
He was sitting there on that table,
eating the nuts, if you please.

1480
01:24:24,290 --> 01:24:29,410
He's really gone this time.
About that size. That with the tail.

1481
01:24:32,130 --> 01:24:35,810
The resultant frantic hunt
for the rat provides us with

1482
01:24:35,970 --> 01:24:38,010
Basil's penultimate best bit.

1483
01:24:38,370 --> 01:24:44,010
I've chosen this next scene
because it's not only probably my
favourite episode, Basil the Rat,

1484
01:24:47,010 --> 01:24:50,610
where Brian Hall as Terry
and Polly and Manuel and Basil

1485
01:24:50,770 --> 01:24:52,650
are in the same scene together

1486
01:24:52,890 --> 01:24:57,090
without anyone else getting in
the way of their brilliant acting.

1487
01:24:57,330 --> 01:24:59,250
And I do think
it's rather well done.

1488
01:24:59,370 --> 01:25:02,410
Basil? Treaties. Basil.

1489
01:25:02,570 --> 01:25:06,730
Yes? Here I am.

1490
01:25:06,970 --> 01:25:09,610
Oh.
Ah, that's for me, is it? Thank you.

1491
01:25:09,810 --> 01:25:14,290
The rat is loose and what
could be worse when you have

1492
01:25:14,770 --> 01:25:16,570
a health inspector than to
have a rat running around?

1493
01:25:16,810 --> 01:25:20,130
Shall I get you some more? There's
plenty... He's called Basil, is he?

1494
01:25:20,370 --> 01:25:23,090
Don't play dumb with me, I trusted
you, you're responsible for this.

1495
01:25:23,330 --> 01:25:26,450
"Oh, I've got a friend who'll
look after him, Mr Fawlty".

1496
01:25:31,010 --> 01:25:34,650
Come on. Come on out, come on.
Basil's here.

1497
01:25:34,810 --> 01:25:35,970
Have you got him?

1498
01:25:36,170 --> 01:25:37,250
He's under there.

1499
01:25:37,410 --> 01:25:38,770
Right, I'll get him.

1500
01:25:41,090 --> 01:25:44,410
Cleaning behind the fridge?
You've got a lot on your mind,
we didn't want to worry you.

1501
01:25:44,770 --> 01:25:47,650
What do you mean?
A public health inspector
coming after a 24-hour warning

1502
01:25:47,930 --> 01:25:49,930
and a rat loose in the hotel,
is that what you mean?

1503
01:25:50,170 --> 01:25:53,010
He must have escaped,
Mr Fawlty, and come back. Come back?

1504
01:25:53,170 --> 01:25:54,730
They home.

1505
01:25:56,370 --> 01:25:58,450
Oh, I see, he's a homing rat, is he?

1506
01:26:00,170 --> 01:26:04,250
Oh, yes, rats are amazing creatures,
Mr Fawlty. I read about one once.

1507
01:26:04,410 --> 01:26:06,410
His owner had gone down to Penzance.

1508
01:26:06,650 --> 01:26:09,850
I read about that. When the chef got
filleted with his own carving knife?

1509
01:26:10,010 --> 01:26:11,250
No, honest. Scout's honour.

1510
01:26:11,570 --> 01:26:15,690
We'll find him, Mr Fawlty. Well,
if you could, that would be lovely,
before they close us down, super.

1511
01:26:15,930 --> 01:26:17,410
Let's have a little Basil hunt,
shall we?

1512
01:26:17,690 --> 01:26:19,210
Then we'll deal with
the sackings later.

1513
01:26:19,490 --> 01:26:22,330
I'll do the cellar. I'll do this
floor. Manuel, you check your room.

1514
01:26:22,690 --> 01:26:25,090
Start in the bar, it was there
two minutes ago.
I'll do the kitchen.

1515
01:26:25,330 --> 01:26:27,930
There's just something about
the interplay between us

1516
01:26:28,090 --> 01:26:29,730
that I watch with great pleasure.

1517
01:26:30,050 --> 01:26:36,330
We're all doing it well and timing
well off each other and the ensemble
effect gives me great satisfaction.

1518
01:26:40,250 --> 01:26:42,010
And it's in the same setting

1519
01:26:42,250 --> 01:26:46,250
that our fugitive furry friend
takes refuge with the guests.

1520
01:26:46,410 --> 01:26:48,370
Manuel finds the rat under the table

1521
01:26:48,610 --> 01:26:53,090
and he obviously gets really
involved in this woman's legs

1522
01:26:53,250 --> 01:26:55,690
and she's got the posh boyfriend.

1523
01:27:00,210 --> 01:27:02,170
Do you mind?

1524
01:27:02,330 --> 01:27:03,170
Que?

1525
01:27:05,130 --> 01:27:07,970
We'll have one Windsor soup
and one pate, please.

1526
01:27:10,490 --> 01:27:11,650
One Windsor soup...

1527
01:27:11,810 --> 01:27:14,090
Shhh!

1528
01:27:14,370 --> 01:27:19,130
I was very young and I have to say
I was a bit wary when the box came

1529
01:27:19,370 --> 01:27:23,650
and the rat was let out, because
they look much bigger in real life.

1530
01:27:23,970 --> 01:27:27,130
But because it's a rat and the
legs, and people kept saying,
"Were they your legs?"

1531
01:27:27,450 --> 01:27:30,410
I said "Well, of course,
you're not going to film
somebody else's legs, are you?"

1532
01:27:30,730 --> 01:27:33,850
For God's sake, I didn't have
much to say, the least I could do
was give my legs.

1533
01:27:34,010 --> 01:27:35,890
I'm so sorry, what were you saying?

1534
01:27:36,130 --> 01:27:40,050
The waiter wasn't listening
when I was giving him our order.

1535
01:27:40,330 --> 01:27:42,890
He seemed more interested
in my fiancee's legs.

1536
01:27:50,010 --> 01:27:52,930
Yes, I don't think so.
In fact, I think there's
a bread roll down there.

1537
01:27:53,330 --> 01:27:55,610
May I give my order?
Oh, please, of course.

1538
01:27:55,850 --> 01:27:58,410
We'd like one Windsor soup
and one pate and then I...

1539
01:28:00,610 --> 01:28:04,530
As a young starting off actress,
wasn't, you know, that aware, just
thought "What a lovely job"

1540
01:28:04,770 --> 01:28:07,210
and "This is going to be successful,
I can't wait to see this,"

1541
01:28:07,450 --> 01:28:10,570
and "There'll be more of them".
You know, you didn't realise that,

1542
01:28:10,730 --> 01:28:14,290
not sounding precious but,

1543
01:28:14,610 --> 01:28:17,290
you know, you were going
to be a very small part of

1544
01:28:17,530 --> 01:28:21,050
television history, really, which
is what Fawlty Towers has become.

1545
01:28:21,410 --> 01:28:26,730
Which brings us to the last
chapter in this TV history, the
moment we've all been waiting for.

1546
01:28:26,890 --> 01:28:29,490
The very best of Basil's Best Bits.

1547
01:28:29,850 --> 01:28:34,850
We asked John Cleese to revisit
Fawlty Towers to choose his ten
favourite moments.

1548
01:28:37,290 --> 01:28:40,730
We've seen him pick out nine
that he looks back at with fondness

1549
01:28:41,050 --> 01:28:45,370
and still tickle his fancy,
which means that there's just
one left to reveal.

1550
01:28:45,610 --> 01:28:49,770
And this just happens to be
his favourite one of them all.

1551
01:28:51,570 --> 01:28:53,530
If someone stood me against the wall

1552
01:28:53,850 --> 01:28:58,570
and said they were going to shoot me
if I didn't say what was my
absolutely favourite moment,

1553
01:28:58,730 --> 01:29:00,450
I would actually say the moment

1554
01:29:00,690 --> 01:29:03,050
when the rat is revealed
in the biscuit tin.

1555
01:29:03,370 --> 01:29:08,090
And if you watch what's going on at
the back, you see exactly how the
tin is moved around in such a way

1556
01:29:08,410 --> 01:29:13,250
it can be presented reasonably
to the health inspector
right at the crucial moment.

1557
01:29:13,410 --> 01:29:14,690
Waiter.

1558
01:29:14,850 --> 01:29:17,290
One momentito.

1559
01:29:21,770 --> 01:29:22,850
Si?

1560
01:29:23,090 --> 01:29:25,690
Some cheese and biscuits
and a coffee, please.

1561
01:29:32,650 --> 01:29:36,170
Anything to follow?
I've ordered some cheese
and a coffee. Certainly.

1562
01:29:36,330 --> 01:29:38,330
Coffee, please, Sybil.

1563
01:29:38,490 --> 01:29:40,250
There we are, Mr Carnegie.

1564
01:29:40,570 --> 01:29:44,490
Polly, would you get
the biscuits, please?
Here they are, Fawlty. Oh.

1565
01:29:44,730 --> 01:29:47,650
Cheddar? Danish Blue? Edam?
A little Danish Blue, please.

1566
01:29:47,810 --> 01:29:48,770
Certainly.

1567
01:29:54,930 --> 01:29:56,770
Edam? No, thank you.

1568
01:29:56,930 --> 01:29:58,890
Biscuits?

1569
01:30:06,130 --> 01:30:09,290
What I love about it
was that the props department

1570
01:30:09,530 --> 01:30:12,490
did give us the best
possible rat and I actually

1571
01:30:12,730 --> 01:30:15,690
had it afterwards and I had it for
years, I don't know where it is now.

1572
01:30:16,010 --> 01:30:20,690
And there was a screw going down
through the rat's body to
the bottom of the box and Connie

1573
01:30:20,930 --> 01:30:25,530
was actually turning the rat's head
by manoeuvring the screw like that.

1574
01:30:25,850 --> 01:30:29,010
Which is how it could actually
look at the inspector
in the way that it did.

1575
01:30:29,170 --> 01:30:31,890
Would you care for a rat, or..?

1576
01:30:33,450 --> 01:30:37,370
Just the biscuits then, please,
Polly.

1577
01:30:47,050 --> 01:30:49,330
Black or white? Hmm?

1578
01:30:51,050 --> 01:30:52,290
Black or white?

1579
01:30:52,610 --> 01:30:54,610
Black, please. Was that a...

1580
01:30:54,770 --> 01:30:57,890
There we are. Here are the biscuits.

1581
01:30:59,770 --> 01:31:01,610
Cream crackers, digestives, Ryvita.

1582
01:31:01,850 --> 01:31:05,610
When they then put the lid back on
and then the rat's gone, he opens it

1583
01:31:05,850 --> 01:31:09,770
up again and he looks and the rat
isn't there, and he did imagine it.

1584
01:31:10,090 --> 01:31:14,930
I think that's a great moment and
there's no other moment quite like
that, I think, in Fawlty Towers.

1585
01:31:15,170 --> 01:31:18,210
I'm afraid
it's started to rain again.

1586
01:31:23,570 --> 01:31:26,610
Those are my favourite moments
and now I've had a chance to watch
them again,

1587
01:31:26,770 --> 01:31:28,010
I agree, they're not very good.

1588
01:31:28,250 --> 01:31:30,010
It's a bit of a disappointment,
really.

1589
01:31:30,170 --> 01:31:31,850
Shouldn't have done the programme.

1590
01:31:32,090 --> 01:31:34,370
Still, in this recession,
we all need money.

1591
01:31:34,530 --> 01:31:35,850
I hope you'll forgive me.

1592
01:31:44,930 --> 01:31:50,370
Subtitles by Ericsson