1
00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:04,517
(opening theme music)
2
00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:32,647
...and he loves pecans
and walnuts,
3
00:00:32,647 --> 00:00:36,047
and he simply adores
those little cheese footballs,
4
00:00:36,047 --> 00:00:38,727
don't you, my darling?
5
00:00:38,727 --> 00:00:41,527
Oh, isn't he beautiful?
6
00:00:41,527 --> 00:00:44,807
Very attractive little fellow.
What is he?
7
00:00:44,807 --> 00:00:46,047
He's a little Shih-Tzu.
8
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,447
Is he really?
9
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,447
Oh, dear,
what breed is it?
10
00:00:49,447 --> 00:00:54,367
They're lap-dogs,
aren't they?
11
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:55,367
A lap-dog?
12
00:00:55,367 --> 00:00:58,607
Hard to imagine him stalking
a reindeer, what?
13
00:00:58,607 --> 00:00:59,847
Major, can I get you
another one?
14
00:00:59,847 --> 00:01:01,527
Why not?
Why not?
15
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:02,527
For you, Mrs. Chase?
16
00:01:02,527 --> 00:01:03,927
Nothing for me,
thank you.
17
00:01:03,927 --> 00:01:06,687
But Prince would like
a little saucer of warm milk.
18
00:01:06,687 --> 00:01:09,087
- It's nearly our bedtime and...
- Yes, Manuel!
19
00:01:09,087 --> 00:01:11,447
Manuel will attend
to its heart's desires.
20
00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:13,287
I'm afraid I'm with
the people tonight.
21
00:01:13,287 --> 00:01:17,200
Manuel, por favor,
el perro microscopico.
22
00:01:18,207 --> 00:01:19,487
Good evening,
Dr. Price.
23
00:01:19,487 --> 00:01:20,487
Good evening.
24
00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:21,727
What can I get you?
25
00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:22,887
Scotch, please.
26
00:01:22,887 --> 00:01:25,087
I suppose it's too late to get
anything to eat? I missed dinner.
27
00:01:25,087 --> 00:01:26,807
What did you
have in mind?
28
00:01:26,807 --> 00:01:28,927
I rather fancy
some sausages.
29
00:01:28,927 --> 00:01:31,647
I'm afraid chef would have
locked them away.
30
00:01:31,647 --> 00:01:34,767
We could do you sandwiches...
ham, cheese, tomato?
31
00:01:34,767 --> 00:01:36,207
Ham, thank you.
32
00:01:36,207 --> 00:01:38,487
I'll just arrange it
for you.
33
00:01:38,487 --> 00:01:41,527
- Basil?
- Dear?
34
00:01:41,527 --> 00:01:42,927
Could you make
some ham sandwiches?
35
00:01:42,927 --> 00:01:44,687
- Look, I'm...
- For Dr. Price.
36
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,927
Of course, yes,
one moment, Doctor.
37
00:01:46,927 --> 00:01:48,847
There we are, Major.
38
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,047
- (telephone ringing)
- Excuse me. Phone.
39
00:01:50,047 --> 00:01:52,007
Found another draft,
have we?
40
00:01:52,007 --> 00:01:54,127
We have to be very careful,
Mr. Fawlty,
41
00:01:54,127 --> 00:01:55,487
he's not very strong.
42
00:01:55,487 --> 00:01:57,487
Indeed, yes.
A rapid movement of air
43
00:01:57,487 --> 00:01:58,847
could damage him
irreparably.
44
00:01:58,847 --> 00:02:02,127
If only one could keep them
in airtight containers.
45
00:02:02,127 --> 00:02:04,367
Wouldn't be able to breathe,
would he, Fawlty?
46
00:02:04,367 --> 00:02:05,887
He could try, Major,
he could try.
47
00:02:05,887 --> 00:02:07,687
Anything else
for you?
48
00:02:07,687 --> 00:02:10,647
No, thank you, no, it's a bit late.
We'd better get upstairs.
49
00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:11,841
Quite, quite.
50
00:02:13,047 --> 00:02:14,847
Sorry to have kept you.
51
00:02:14,847 --> 00:02:16,727
Doctor,
one round, two?
52
00:02:16,727 --> 00:02:17,727
Just one, please.
53
00:02:17,727 --> 00:02:19,126
My pleasure.
54
00:02:20,327 --> 00:02:24,367
No, she was the one
he had with him the third time.
55
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:26,007
The first one
was the dowdy one,
56
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:28,927
then his wife, then her,
and now this red...
57
00:02:28,927 --> 00:02:31,887
oh, yes, that must have
been lovely.
58
00:02:31,887 --> 00:02:34,481
Number 12?
Let's see.
59
00:02:36,047 --> 00:02:37,887
Thank you.
60
00:02:37,887 --> 00:02:41,163
How very lovely...
yes, that was them.
61
00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:45,647
Not much, they get less fussy
as they get older.
62
00:02:45,647 --> 00:02:46,647
Sorry about this.
63
00:02:46,647 --> 00:02:48,647
It couldn't matter less.
We're meeting in the morning anyway.
64
00:02:48,647 --> 00:02:51,047
- You've had a long journey.
- Get a good night's sleep.
65
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:52,167
You're sure
you're feeling all right?
66
00:02:52,167 --> 00:02:53,567
Fine, fine,
just a little...
67
00:02:53,567 --> 00:02:54,927
Oh yes, of course.
68
00:02:54,927 --> 00:02:57,487
You get straight to bed,
we'll pick you up here at 9:30.
69
00:02:57,487 --> 00:02:59,567
We'll have coffee,
and go in to the M.D. At 10: 00.
70
00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,767
Fine, thanks.
Okay, good night.
71
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,127
- Sleep well.
- Good night.
72
00:03:03,127 --> 00:03:04,807
- Bye.
- See you in the morning.
73
00:03:04,807 --> 00:03:06,687
See you at 9:30 then.
74
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,127
Sorry.
75
00:03:08,127 --> 00:03:11,007
Harris? Oh, no,
on his own again.
76
00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:12,887
Oh, no, I wouldn't
have thought so.
77
00:03:12,887 --> 00:03:14,007
He watches the football.
78
00:03:14,007 --> 00:03:16,316
- Number 8, isn't it?
- Thank you.
79
00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:20,447
Are you feeling
all right?
80
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:21,807
Not too good, no.
81
00:03:21,807 --> 00:03:23,687
Would you like
a little hot something?
82
00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:24,967
No, fine, thank you.
83
00:03:24,967 --> 00:03:27,167
- Well, If there's anything you need...
- Thank you.
84
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:29,447
That wasn't him,
that was a new one.
85
00:03:29,447 --> 00:03:30,880
Good night.
86
00:03:32,127 --> 00:03:33,567
I said, "Good night."
87
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:34,967
Oh, good night.
88
00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:36,161
Didn't hurt, did it?
89
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:39,247
- Basil.
- Good manners cost nothing.
90
00:03:39,247 --> 00:03:41,247
He's not feeling
very well, Basil.
91
00:03:41,247 --> 00:03:43,847
He only had to say "Good night."
It's not the Gettysburg Address.
92
00:03:43,847 --> 00:03:45,887
Basil, when you're
not feeling well...
93
00:03:45,887 --> 00:03:47,207
Basil:
Just two little words, dear,
94
00:03:47,207 --> 00:03:49,247
that bring a little happiness
into the world.
95
00:03:49,247 --> 00:03:50,367
Excuse me?
96
00:03:50,367 --> 00:03:52,247
Yes, Mr. Leeman,
what can I do for you?
97
00:03:52,247 --> 00:03:53,687
Do you think I might have
breakfast in bed in the morning?
98
00:03:53,687 --> 00:03:55,567
- In bed?
- Yes.
99
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:58,087
- Of course, Mr. Leeman.
- Yes, we can manage that.
100
00:03:58,087 --> 00:03:59,087
Yes, we can.
I'll call you back.
101
00:03:59,087 --> 00:04:00,647
I'm sorry?
102
00:04:00,647 --> 00:04:02,558
Most of our guests manage
to struggle down in the morning.
103
00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:06,767
A full breakfast
or the continental?
104
00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:07,927
Oh, I don't...
105
00:04:07,927 --> 00:04:09,807
Our chef does a very good
full breakfast,
106
00:04:09,807 --> 00:04:12,687
eggs, bacon, sausages,
tomato, fried bread...
107
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,047
The continental.
108
00:04:14,047 --> 00:04:15,047
You wouldn't care
for kippers?
109
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,567
Fine, kippers,
thank you.
110
00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:18,007
Toast,
butter, marmalade?
111
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,007
Thank you.
112
00:04:19,007 --> 00:04:21,167
- Tea or coffee?
- Tea, thank you.
113
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:22,247
Newspaper?
114
00:04:22,247 --> 00:04:24,636
- The Telegraph.
- Thank you, good night.
115
00:04:26,687 --> 00:04:28,279
Rosewood,
mahogany, teak?
116
00:04:30,367 --> 00:04:31,687
I beg your pardon?
117
00:04:31,687 --> 00:04:33,564
What would you like
your breakfast tray made out of?
118
00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:35,927
I don't really mind.
119
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,287
Are you sure?
Fine, you go along,
120
00:04:37,287 --> 00:04:39,047
and have a really good
night's sleep, then.
121
00:04:39,047 --> 00:04:41,047
I'm hoping to get
a couple of hours myself.
122
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,167
I'll be up in good time
123
00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:43,647
to serve you
your breakfast in bed.
124
00:04:43,647 --> 00:04:45,527
If you can remember to sleep
with your mouth open,
125
00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:46,887
you won't even have to wake up.
126
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,687
I'll drop in small pieces
of lightly buttered kipper
127
00:04:49,687 --> 00:04:50,847
when you're breathing
in the right direction,
128
00:04:50,847 --> 00:04:52,883
if that doesn't
put you out!
129
00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:55,836
Basil!
130
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,167
- Sausages, please.
- Just sausages?
131
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,647
Hmm, just sausages.
132
00:05:02,647 --> 00:05:04,527
- Tea or coffee?
- Coffee, please.
133
00:05:04,527 --> 00:05:06,967
- But is...
- No, not a saucer.
134
00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:08,687
- Cómo?
- I said a bowl.
135
00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:09,687
A ball?
136
00:05:09,687 --> 00:05:11,127
Yes, and not cold like that.
137
00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:13,647
That's too cold.
I said tepid, didn't I?
138
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,927
Mas grande, Manuel.
De agua caliente.
139
00:05:16,927 --> 00:05:18,287
He could catch pneumonia
from that.
140
00:05:18,287 --> 00:05:20,167
And bring another cushion.
141
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:21,680
- He's not quite high enough.
- (dog barking)
142
00:05:23,007 --> 00:05:24,647
Sausages on six, Terry.
143
00:05:24,647 --> 00:05:26,927
- Coming up.
- Mas grande, Manuel.
144
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,167
Another car strike.
Would you believe it?
145
00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:30,047
Put these kippers back,
would you, Basil?
146
00:05:30,047 --> 00:05:32,117
We ought to get Butlin's
to run our car factories.
147
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:33,839
In the fridge.
148
00:05:33,887 --> 00:05:35,923
These should have been eaten by...
when was the sixth?
149
00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:36,967
Oh, that's all right.
150
00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:38,207
It says
on the packet, Sybil.
151
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,607
They're all right,
Mr. Fawlty.
152
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,607
The sixth?
153
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:41,927
That's just
to cover themselves.
154
00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,246
Eggs and sausages, Poll.
155
00:05:49,287 --> 00:05:51,278
On the table,
on the table.
156
00:05:52,287 --> 00:05:54,005
No!
157
00:05:55,007 --> 00:05:56,440
That!
158
00:05:57,447 --> 00:05:59,836
Now, put that
under him.
159
00:06:01,887 --> 00:06:03,767
The cushion!
The cushion!
160
00:06:03,767 --> 00:06:05,687
Si.
161
00:06:05,687 --> 00:06:06,756
- (dog yelps)
- Manuel: Ow!
162
00:06:08,927 --> 00:06:09,967
He bite me!
163
00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:11,607
You frightened him.
164
00:06:11,607 --> 00:06:12,647
Qué?
165
00:06:12,647 --> 00:06:14,007
You make sudden
movements like that,
166
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,327
of course he's
going to bite.
167
00:06:15,327 --> 00:06:17,602
Don't you have dogs
in Calcutta?
168
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:23,007
Excuse me,
but I have an order
169
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,207
for eggs and sausages
for this table.
170
00:06:25,207 --> 00:06:26,927
Yes, the sausages
are for him.
171
00:06:26,927 --> 00:06:28,927
(groaning)
172
00:06:28,927 --> 00:06:30,127
What's the matter,
Manuel?
173
00:06:30,127 --> 00:06:31,767
He bite me.
174
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,883
Cut them up
into little pieces.
175
00:06:36,847 --> 00:06:39,847
No, not my eggs.
The sausages.
176
00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:41,167
Oh, sorry.
177
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,247
Polly: Oh!
178
00:06:42,247 --> 00:06:44,327
He bite Polly, too.
You see?
179
00:06:44,327 --> 00:06:46,727
If dogs are allowed
in the dining room,
180
00:06:46,727 --> 00:06:48,847
at least the staff should know
how to handle them.
181
00:06:48,847 --> 00:06:51,047
I'll cut them up
in the kitchen, Mrs. Chase.
182
00:06:51,047 --> 00:06:52,321
Little pieces.
183
00:06:55,007 --> 00:06:56,047
Kippers ready.
184
00:06:56,047 --> 00:06:57,967
He hurt you, Polly?
185
00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,607
Basil, what
are you doing?
186
00:06:59,607 --> 00:07:00,967
Do you know
when the sixth was?
187
00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:02,887
Will you just
take it upstairs?
188
00:07:02,887 --> 00:07:04,327
They're all right,
Mr. Fawlty.
189
00:07:04,327 --> 00:07:05,847
Are they supposed
to be that color?
190
00:07:05,847 --> 00:07:08,447
Basil, will you just take it up?
What's the matter, Manuel?
191
00:07:08,447 --> 00:07:10,207
That hairy mosquito
just bit us both.
192
00:07:10,207 --> 00:07:11,447
What?
193
00:07:11,447 --> 00:07:12,847
It's not right
in dining room like that.
194
00:07:12,847 --> 00:07:14,527
She pays extra
for the dog.
195
00:07:14,527 --> 00:07:15,967
Basil, it's after 8:00.
196
00:07:15,967 --> 00:07:17,967
Poisoning is still an offense
in this country.
197
00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:19,967
Do get a move on,
we've got a busy day.
198
00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:21,087
I've got the laundrymen coming.
199
00:07:21,087 --> 00:07:22,967
The laundrymen.
My God!
200
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,844
A woman's work
is never delegated, is it?
201
00:07:26,087 --> 00:07:27,087
What are you doing, Polly?
202
00:07:27,087 --> 00:07:29,847
Just preparing
some sausages.
203
00:07:29,847 --> 00:07:32,441
Bangers a la bang.
204
00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:38,206
Good morning, breakfast.
205
00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:42,920
Breakfast.
206
00:07:46,847 --> 00:07:49,887
Here we are. Another car strike.
Marvelous, isn't it?
207
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,247
Taxpayers pay 'em
millions each year,
208
00:07:51,247 --> 00:07:54,967
they get the money, go on strike.
It's called socialism.
209
00:07:54,967 --> 00:07:56,167
If they don't like
making cars,
210
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:57,727
why don't they get themselves
another bloody job
211
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,407
designing cathedrals
or composing violin concertos?
212
00:08:00,407 --> 00:08:03,607
The British Leyland Concerto,
in four movements, all of 'em slow,
213
00:08:03,607 --> 00:08:05,167
with a four-hour
tea break in between.
214
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:07,447
I'll tell you why,
'cause they're not interested in anything,
215
00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:09,767
except lounging about on conveyor belts
stuffing themselves with my money.
216
00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,207
You don't mind if
I turn the light off?
217
00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:13,004
Well, enjoy
your breakfast.
218
00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:17,724
I'm sorry,
I didn't catch that.
219
00:08:19,327 --> 00:08:21,318
Not at all, thank you
for mentioning it.
220
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:25,127
Unbelievable.
Un-be-lievable.
221
00:08:25,127 --> 00:08:27,800
Not a single bloody word.
222
00:08:28,887 --> 00:08:30,887
You get up at 5:30
in the morning
223
00:08:30,887 --> 00:08:32,687
so they can lounge around
in bed till midday
224
00:08:32,687 --> 00:08:33,767
and do you get so much
as a word of thanks?
225
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:34,887
- What's that?
- Forgot the milk.
226
00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:37,727
Don't get talking to him,
you'll never get away.
227
00:08:37,727 --> 00:08:38,927
Would you believe it?
228
00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:41,247
I get him his breakfast,
I take it all the way upstairs,
229
00:08:41,247 --> 00:08:43,607
I lay it in front of him,
hand him his newspaper,
230
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:46,485
I tidy the room, draw the curtains,
guess what he says?
231
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:49,807
I said,
"Guess what he says?"
232
00:08:49,807 --> 00:08:50,967
Sybil:
Hmmm?
233
00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,400
Nothing!
234
00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:55,963
Your friend! The one in eight.
Nothing, not a word.
235
00:08:56,967 --> 00:09:00,847
Are you listening?
Hello, can anybody hear me?
236
00:09:00,847 --> 00:09:03,047
Have I ceased to exist?
Have I suddenly become invisible?
237
00:09:03,047 --> 00:09:04,727
Sybil, Sybil, Sybil,
can you see me?
238
00:09:04,727 --> 00:09:05,887
No.
239
00:09:05,887 --> 00:09:07,967
Good, I'll go
and lie down then.
240
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:10,607
No I won't, I'll go
and hit some guests.
241
00:09:10,607 --> 00:09:14,567
- (dog whimpering)
- Poor little toma-woma-boy.
242
00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:15,636
Oh, let me...
243
00:09:16,687 --> 00:09:18,837
Dr. Price's sausages.
244
00:09:22,047 --> 00:09:23,607
What is it, Polly?
245
00:09:23,607 --> 00:09:24,927
He's dead.
246
00:09:24,927 --> 00:09:27,407
- Dead, who?
- Number eight.
247
00:09:27,407 --> 00:09:30,847
Leeman?
But Basil just took him his breakfast.
248
00:09:30,847 --> 00:09:31,927
He's cold.
249
00:09:31,927 --> 00:09:32,996
Oh, no.
250
00:09:37,007 --> 00:09:38,847
What's the matter
with that dog?
251
00:09:38,847 --> 00:09:41,007
He is dead.
252
00:09:41,007 --> 00:09:42,887
He's certainly struggling
for life at the moment.
253
00:09:42,887 --> 00:09:44,487
A dead dog in
the breakfast room.
254
00:09:44,487 --> 00:09:46,767
Egon Ronay would knock off
a star for that.
255
00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:48,598
No, no,
Mr. Leeman dead.
256
00:09:49,847 --> 00:09:51,007
Well, that would
explain a lot.
257
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,927
No, Mr. Fawlty.
258
00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:54,767
Really.
Poll just said so.
259
00:09:54,767 --> 00:09:57,727
What are you on about?
I just took him his kippers.
260
00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:58,842
Oh, my God!
261
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:03,925
Leeman's dead,
I'm getting Dr. Price.
262
00:10:06,247 --> 00:10:09,007
I just put the milk down
on the tray...
263
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:10,367
What are you doing?
264
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,127
What are you doing?
265
00:10:12,127 --> 00:10:14,287
I told her. I told her the sixth.
We could get 20 years for this.
266
00:10:14,287 --> 00:10:15,487
What?
267
00:10:15,487 --> 00:10:17,727
The kippers, the kippers!
Oh, my God!
268
00:10:17,727 --> 00:10:19,687
Mr. Fawlty, he's been dead
for hours.
269
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:23,047
M. Fawlty, he's cold.
He's been dead for hours.
270
00:10:23,047 --> 00:10:25,247
He must have died
in his sleep.
271
00:10:25,247 --> 00:10:26,247
Mr. Fawlty!
272
00:10:26,247 --> 00:10:27,247
What? What?
273
00:10:27,247 --> 00:10:31,240
He hasn't touched those kippers.
Well, look! Feel him.
274
00:10:32,247 --> 00:10:34,556
- What?
- Feel him.
275
00:10:38,087 --> 00:10:40,282
- He's stone cold.
- Yes.
276
00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:45,127
Oh, joy!
Thank you, God.
277
00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:48,358
Oh, isn't it wonderful?
I'm so happy! Hooray!
278
00:10:49,647 --> 00:10:51,717
Sad, isn't it?
279
00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:57,527
May I ask who...?
280
00:10:57,527 --> 00:11:00,325
Bit stuffy, isn't it?
I'll open a window.
281
00:11:01,407 --> 00:11:02,999
Who...?
282
00:11:05,087 --> 00:11:05,887
- Who found the body?
- Polly did.
283
00:11:05,887 --> 00:11:07,567
I was bringing him
up the milk,
284
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,927
we'd forgotten it.
285
00:11:08,927 --> 00:11:10,967
You brought the milk
with the breakfast?
286
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:13,356
No, the breakfast
was already up.
287
00:11:14,647 --> 00:11:15,647
Who brought
the breakfast?
288
00:11:15,647 --> 00:11:17,239
Who found him?
289
00:11:18,847 --> 00:11:20,405
Oh, I brought
the breakfast.
290
00:11:21,727 --> 00:11:24,327
- What's that?
- That's a bit of it.
291
00:11:24,327 --> 00:11:26,636
- Bit of what?
- A bit of the breakfast.
292
00:11:28,407 --> 00:11:29,407
You brought him
his breakfast?
293
00:11:29,407 --> 00:11:30,407
Yes.
294
00:11:30,407 --> 00:11:31,607
So you told her
he was dead?
295
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:32,596
Yes.
296
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:35,918
Then why did
you bring him...
297
00:11:38,607 --> 00:11:39,927
Why did you bring him
the milk then?
298
00:11:39,927 --> 00:11:42,327
- Why?
- Yes, why?
299
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,407
When he said
"Mr. Leeman was dead,"
300
00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:47,527
I thought he said,
"He's still in bed."
301
00:11:47,527 --> 00:11:49,927
He didn't exactly say
he was dead, Doctor.
302
00:11:49,927 --> 00:11:51,007
I said he was pretty quiet.
303
00:11:51,007 --> 00:11:52,487
- Quiet?
- Exactly.
304
00:11:52,487 --> 00:11:55,887
What were you talking to him about?
Car strikes, was it?
305
00:11:55,887 --> 00:11:58,567
Thank you, Sybil.
306
00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:00,967
I don't understand.
He's been dead about 10 hours.
307
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,007
It's so final, isn't it?
308
00:12:02,007 --> 00:12:03,007
Basil!
309
00:12:03,007 --> 00:12:05,647
Wouldn't you say it was final?
I'd say it was pretty bloody final.
310
00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:08,807
Do you mean to tell me
you didn't realize this man was dead?
311
00:12:08,807 --> 00:12:11,607
People don't talk that much in the morning.
I'm just delivering a tray, right?
312
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:12,847
If the guest isn't singing,
313
00:12:12,847 --> 00:12:14,887
"Oh, what a beautiful morning,"
I don't immediately think,
314
00:12:14,887 --> 00:12:16,487
"There's another one
snuffed it in the night.
315
00:12:16,487 --> 00:12:18,927
Another name in the Fawlty Towers
Book of Remembrance."
316
00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:21,047
I mean, this is a hotel,
not a Burma railway.
317
00:12:21,047 --> 00:12:22,127
Basil!
318
00:12:22,127 --> 00:12:25,567
It does actually say "Hotel" outside.
Perhaps I should be more specific.
319
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:28,247
"Hotel for people who have
a better than 50% chance
320
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,726
of making it
through the night."
321
00:12:30,727 --> 00:12:32,922
What are you looking
at me like that for?
322
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:37,007
Basil...
323
00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,567
there's a kipper
sticking out of your jumper.
324
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:44,567
There it is.
I've been looking for that.
325
00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:45,556
That's the other one.
326
00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:48,847
We'll be downstairs, Doctor.
327
00:12:48,847 --> 00:12:49,847
Shall I ring
the undertaker?
328
00:12:49,847 --> 00:12:51,167
Would you, Polly?
329
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:52,839
Basil: I've been up since 5:30,
you know?
330
00:12:56,127 --> 00:12:58,767
He was leaving today.
Some people are coming at lunchtime.
331
00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:01,327
- We'll put them in another room.
- We're full tonight.
332
00:13:01,327 --> 00:13:02,760
Oh, do put that away!
333
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,647
Get the body into the office
until the undertakers come.
334
00:13:06,647 --> 00:13:07,647
Now?
335
00:13:07,647 --> 00:13:08,682
When the doctor's finished.
336
00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:15,647
- What are you doing?
- Making up his bill.
337
00:13:15,647 --> 00:13:16,647
Who are you going
to give it to?
338
00:13:16,647 --> 00:13:18,727
We'll leave it in his wallet,
they're bound to look there.
339
00:13:18,727 --> 00:13:20,718
Better not charge him
for breakfast.
340
00:13:22,367 --> 00:13:24,647
Mr. Simkins?
Fawlty Towers here.
341
00:13:24,647 --> 00:13:26,847
I'm afraid somebody's died
during the night.
342
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:29,607
- When could you collect the body?
- (rings)
343
00:13:29,607 --> 00:13:31,487
Somebody, anybody, really.
344
00:13:31,487 --> 00:13:32,487
Good morning,
good morning.
345
00:13:32,487 --> 00:13:35,287
You're very cheerful
this morning.
346
00:13:35,287 --> 00:13:36,925
Well, one of the guests
has just died.
347
00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:40,439
You are wicked.
348
00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:42,960
Manuel, Manuel!
349
00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:47,087
Manuel,
we go and get the body.
350
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,727
Polly! Polly!
351
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:49,807
Yes, if you can.
352
00:13:49,807 --> 00:13:51,206
Would it be all right
to move the...
353
00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:57,527
Could I use the phone, please?
I have to call the coroner.
354
00:13:57,527 --> 00:13:58,647
The coroner?!
355
00:13:58,647 --> 00:14:00,847
I can't give him his death certificate,
I'm not his doctor.
356
00:14:00,847 --> 00:14:02,127
I have to report his death
to the coroner.
357
00:14:02,127 --> 00:14:04,118
I see, of course.
Come this way, Doctor.
358
00:14:05,487 --> 00:14:07,447
- All clear?
- All clear.
359
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,807
Manuel:
Is heavy.
360
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,081
Basil:
Come on, come on!
361
00:14:11,247 --> 00:14:12,287
Good morning, Manuel.
362
00:14:12,287 --> 00:14:14,367
- Oh, good morning.
- Oh!
363
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:16,407
It's all right, leave it.
It's heavy.
364
00:14:16,407 --> 00:14:17,887
It's quite all right.
I'll put them like that.
365
00:14:17,887 --> 00:14:19,607
- Don't bother. We can manage.
- It's no bother.
366
00:14:19,607 --> 00:14:20,887
No, no, leave it alone.
367
00:14:20,887 --> 00:14:22,327
I know,
if I fold them like this...
368
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:23,327
Yes, go away.
Move, Manuel!
369
00:14:23,327 --> 00:14:24,806
Move, move, move.
370
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:28,687
- I'll do it, Miss Tibbs.
- No, it's all right.
371
00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:30,927
(screaming)
He's dead!
372
00:14:30,927 --> 00:14:32,567
- Serves you right.
- Shh! Shh!
373
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:35,127
- O-oh, my God!
- It's all right, Miss Tibbs.
374
00:14:35,127 --> 00:14:37,167
- Shut up, shut up!
- Oh, my God!
375
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,927
Slap her!
She's hysterical.
376
00:14:39,927 --> 00:14:41,565
- Murder! Murder!
- Slap her!
377
00:14:45,647 --> 00:14:48,047
Oh, spiffing!
Absolutely spiffing.
378
00:14:48,047 --> 00:14:52,927
Well done.
Two dead, 25 to go.
379
00:14:52,927 --> 00:14:54,042
Quick, Polly, Polly!
380
00:15:02,247 --> 00:15:03,607
I just dropped my ring.
381
00:15:03,607 --> 00:15:05,287
Oh, there it is.
382
00:15:05,287 --> 00:15:08,247
Oh, sorry,
I'm in your way.
383
00:15:08,247 --> 00:15:09,999
That's quite all right.
384
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,007
- Oh, is this your room?
- Yes.
385
00:15:15,007 --> 00:15:16,087
It's lovely, isn't it?
386
00:15:16,087 --> 00:15:17,607
Yes.
387
00:15:17,607 --> 00:15:18,847
Did you enjoy
your breakfast?
388
00:15:18,847 --> 00:15:20,927
Yes, thank you.
Excuse us,
389
00:15:20,927 --> 00:15:22,247
do you think we could
go inside and get our...
390
00:15:22,247 --> 00:15:24,247
Not really.
391
00:15:24,247 --> 00:15:25,487
Pardon?
392
00:15:25,487 --> 00:15:27,567
Well, it's being cleaned,
Mr. Fawlty's doing it.
393
00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:28,887
But we want
to get our things.
394
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,007
We're going out,
you see?
395
00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:31,607
Lt'll only take
a couple of minutes.
396
00:15:31,607 --> 00:15:33,767
We're a little late,
excuse me.
397
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,407
Excuse me.
Mr. Fawlty?
398
00:15:36,407 --> 00:15:37,887
- Mr. Fawlty?
- Basil: All clear?
399
00:15:37,887 --> 00:15:40,767
- Mr. Fawlty?
- Anybody about?
400
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:43,887
Mr. And Mrs. White
want to come into their room.
401
00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:45,479
Basil: Oh...
402
00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:49,124
Basil:
Wait a minute!
403
00:15:50,127 --> 00:15:51,407
Hello.
404
00:15:51,407 --> 00:15:54,127
Can we come in?
405
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,807
I was explaining that you
were doing the room.
406
00:15:56,807 --> 00:15:57,847
Yes, won't be five minutes.
407
00:15:57,847 --> 00:16:01,207
- Couldn't you do it later?
- (thumping within)
408
00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:03,887
Pick that ashtray up,
will you, Manuel, please?
409
00:16:03,887 --> 00:16:06,087
The big one.
Could we do it later?
410
00:16:06,087 --> 00:16:07,607
When we've got our things.
411
00:16:07,607 --> 00:16:08,967
It'll only be
a couple of minutes.
412
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:11,207
Look, Fawlty,
we want our things!
413
00:16:11,207 --> 00:16:13,960
Right, yes,
thank you so much.
414
00:16:15,847 --> 00:16:17,367
He's locked it.
415
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,358
That's just a precaution.
416
00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:22,087
(knocking)
Have you locked this?
417
00:16:22,087 --> 00:16:24,078
Basil: Only slightly.
418
00:16:25,847 --> 00:16:28,236
- Will you let us in?
- In a minute.
419
00:16:30,607 --> 00:16:31,926
Get the coats,
get the coats.
420
00:16:34,207 --> 00:16:35,247
What's going on?
421
00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:37,556
He's a bit
of a perfectionist.
422
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,927
Ready!
423
00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:43,207
What's been
going on in here?
424
00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:45,367
We tried rearranging
the furniture,
425
00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:47,487
but it didn't really work.
Manuel has your coats.
426
00:16:47,487 --> 00:16:48,887
Miss Tibbs:
Oh-hh...
427
00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:50,367
Oh-hh...
428
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:51,927
(singing)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
429
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:54,647
(Basil and Polly sing)
430
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,847
It's all right,
he's from Barcelona.
431
00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:57,327
Miss Tibbs:
Oh-hh!
432
00:16:57,327 --> 00:16:58,407
What's that noise?
433
00:16:58,407 --> 00:16:59,847
Oh, it's just my back.
434
00:16:59,847 --> 00:17:01,007
No, no,
that moaning.
435
00:17:01,007 --> 00:17:02,287
Miss Tibbs:
Oh-hh...
436
00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:04,007
Oh, yes. That's odd.
437
00:17:04,007 --> 00:17:05,607
No, no, it's coming
from the cupboard.
438
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:06,887
Well, we'll get
some oil.
439
00:17:06,887 --> 00:17:08,527
- Have a nice day.
- There's someone in there.
440
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,967
- What?
- Yes, listen.
441
00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:10,967
No, no, no.
442
00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:13,287
(banging within)
Oh, please...!
443
00:17:13,287 --> 00:17:14,807
Good Lord, so there is.
444
00:17:14,807 --> 00:17:15,927
- Let them out!
- Good idea.
445
00:17:15,927 --> 00:17:17,767
- Right, well, um...
- Well, go on.
446
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,247
We're going to.
It's the next thing on the list.
447
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,567
If you do get a chance
to visit the museum...
448
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,167
Open it now, will you?
449
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,919
All right.
Yes, right.
450
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:29,087
Oh, it's locked.
Oh, damn.
451
00:17:29,087 --> 00:17:30,647
- Where's the key?
- Yes, where is the key?
452
00:17:30,647 --> 00:17:32,007
Do you have any idea,
Polly, Manuel?
453
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:33,567
I expect we've left it
downstairs somewhere.
454
00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:34,607
Qué?
455
00:17:34,607 --> 00:17:36,086
- Where's the key?
- Key's in your pocket.
456
00:17:36,127 --> 00:17:37,276
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.
457
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:41,447
(knocking continues)
458
00:17:41,447 --> 00:17:43,847
Well done, Manuel.
Thank you very much.
459
00:17:43,847 --> 00:17:45,647
Right, well,
we've got it now.
460
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,927
- Give it to me...
- All right, all right, I will. I will.
461
00:17:47,927 --> 00:17:50,647
Oh, Miss Tibbs!
462
00:17:50,647 --> 00:17:52,638
(sobbing)
463
00:17:57,647 --> 00:17:59,207
Now, I've warned you
about this before.
464
00:17:59,207 --> 00:18:00,487
You can hide
in your own cupboard
465
00:18:00,487 --> 00:18:01,927
but not in other people's!
466
00:18:01,927 --> 00:18:03,527
I'm sorry about this,
you can't really blame her.
467
00:18:03,527 --> 00:18:05,767
She doesn't have much in her life.
She has to make her own entertainment.
468
00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:07,367
She has trouble
with her arm.
469
00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:09,367
That's why she goes
in the cupboard.
470
00:18:09,367 --> 00:18:10,847
- Exactly.
- Are you feeling better?
471
00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:13,007
Her arm gets stuck there.
472
00:18:13,007 --> 00:18:14,167
It's always
happening to her.
473
00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:15,767
He's dead.
474
00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:16,927
It's her husband.
She hasn't got over it.
475
00:18:16,927 --> 00:18:18,047
Died 30 years ago.
476
00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:20,847
She doesn't
mean any arm.
477
00:18:20,847 --> 00:18:22,767
In the cupboard!
478
00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,567
No more today,
you've had enough!
479
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:25,841
Oh, my God, look at that!
480
00:18:39,287 --> 00:18:41,807
Thank you, Manuel.
Manuel, thank you.
481
00:18:41,807 --> 00:18:43,847
That's enough.
Thank you.
482
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:45,883
Anything else
we can do for you?
483
00:18:48,967 --> 00:18:50,727
It was so horrible,
Mrs. Fawlty.
484
00:18:50,727 --> 00:18:53,567
- You've no idea.
- Oh, I know.
485
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:54,967
It was pitch black in there,
486
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,887
and that thing...
with its hand.
487
00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,843
Oh, I know.
488
00:19:01,087 --> 00:19:02,567
Now you have
a little rest
489
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,087
and try to think
of something else.
490
00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:05,767
But anything
could have happened.
491
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:07,487
Well, he was dead, dear.
492
00:19:07,487 --> 00:19:09,447
A man is a man,
Mrs. Fawlty.
493
00:19:09,447 --> 00:19:11,887
Oh, I know.
494
00:19:11,887 --> 00:19:13,087
I shall speak
to him about it.
495
00:19:13,087 --> 00:19:14,207
Speak to him?
496
00:19:14,207 --> 00:19:15,367
To Mr. Fawlty.
497
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,847
We're his oldest residents.
498
00:19:16,847 --> 00:19:18,567
Have a little rest first.
499
00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:19,967
Frightening me like that.
500
00:19:19,967 --> 00:19:21,847
I shall speak to him.
501
00:19:21,847 --> 00:19:23,687
Have a word with him
in a little while
502
00:19:23,687 --> 00:19:26,287
when you're feeling better,
hmm?
503
00:19:26,287 --> 00:19:28,127
I see, yes, thank you.
504
00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:30,847
It's all right, dear.
They've got rooms at the Seaview.
505
00:19:30,847 --> 00:19:31,927
- Tonight?
- Yes.
506
00:19:31,927 --> 00:19:33,167
Well, let's have a look at it.
507
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:34,367
Yes, and if that's no good,
508
00:19:34,367 --> 00:19:36,801
we'll try the one up by
the Prophylactic Emporium.
509
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:39,962
Okay.
510
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:44,527
(Manuel grunting)
511
00:19:44,527 --> 00:19:46,199
Is... very heavy.
512
00:19:50,847 --> 00:19:52,047
Morning, Fawlty.
513
00:19:52,047 --> 00:19:53,047
Hello, Major.
514
00:19:53,047 --> 00:19:54,927
Any sign of the papers?
515
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,927
You've got it, Major.
516
00:19:56,927 --> 00:19:59,527
Have I?
Oh, yes, so I have.
517
00:19:59,527 --> 00:20:01,887
Oh, I say, Fawlty,
he doesn't look...
518
00:20:01,887 --> 00:20:03,287
he doesn't look
quite the ticket.
519
00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,767
Well, Major,
520
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:07,847
don't say anything to anybody,
but he's dead.
521
00:20:07,847 --> 00:20:09,997
Ah.
Shot, was he?
522
00:20:11,847 --> 00:20:12,967
No, no,
died in his sleep.
523
00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:13,967
In his sleep?
524
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:16,007
Ah, well, you're off
your guard, you see.
525
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,407
Yes, yes.
526
00:20:17,407 --> 00:20:19,327
Oh, Fawlty...
527
00:20:19,327 --> 00:20:20,847
I shouldn't let him
lie around here.
528
00:20:20,847 --> 00:20:22,407
No, the undertakers
are coming to get him.
529
00:20:22,407 --> 00:20:25,126
Ah, 'cause they attract
the flies, you see.
530
00:20:28,407 --> 00:20:29,887
Look, I've been waiting
in there.
531
00:20:29,887 --> 00:20:32,007
- What?
- I haven't had any breakfast yet.
532
00:20:32,007 --> 00:20:34,646
Oh, right, sorry.
Coming, coming.
533
00:20:35,887 --> 00:20:37,479
It's only sausages.
534
00:20:40,927 --> 00:20:44,007
(ringing bell)
Mr. Fawlty! Mr. Fawlty!
535
00:20:44,007 --> 00:20:45,767
I want a word
with you, please.
536
00:20:45,767 --> 00:20:47,439
(rings)
537
00:20:52,527 --> 00:20:53,967
Sorry about the delay, Doctor,
538
00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:56,447
normal service has been
resumed as soon as possible.
539
00:20:56,447 --> 00:20:58,007
(Miss Tibbs hollers)
540
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,407
More coffee?
541
00:20:59,407 --> 00:21:00,965
(hollering continues)
542
00:21:01,967 --> 00:21:02,967
Tea? Tea?
543
00:21:02,967 --> 00:21:04,559
I'll turn the radio down.
544
00:21:10,887 --> 00:21:13,007
Oh!
545
00:21:13,007 --> 00:21:14,527
- Miss Tibbs.
- Oh, no.
546
00:21:14,527 --> 00:21:15,607
Would you believe it?
547
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,047
What did you put him
there for?
548
00:21:17,047 --> 00:21:19,167
He wouldn't fit in the safe
and all the drawers were full.
549
00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:20,395
Come on, Manuel.
550
00:21:21,407 --> 00:21:22,727
Wonderful, isn't it,
our guests?
551
00:21:22,727 --> 00:21:24,718
They give us trouble
even when they're dead.
552
00:21:26,887 --> 00:21:28,525
- Where are you taking him?
- Basil: Kitchen.
553
00:21:30,727 --> 00:21:32,877
- Sybil: Polly!
- Just a moment.
554
00:21:41,407 --> 00:21:42,556
Hello!
555
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:51,319
(crashing)
556
00:21:55,807 --> 00:21:57,087
He's seriously ill.
557
00:21:57,087 --> 00:21:58,207
Oh, dear.
558
00:21:58,207 --> 00:22:00,327
Don't just stand there.
Call a vet!
559
00:22:00,327 --> 00:22:01,647
Right.
560
00:22:01,647 --> 00:22:03,000
Mrs Chase:
He's been poisoned.
561
00:22:05,047 --> 00:22:06,526
On the table.
562
00:22:10,207 --> 00:22:12,402
(coughing)
563
00:22:14,527 --> 00:22:16,487
Sorry about that.
Bit overdone, I'm afraid.
564
00:22:16,487 --> 00:22:17,920
We'll send 'em down
the crematorium.
565
00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:21,647
You can't keep
a dead body in here,
566
00:22:21,647 --> 00:22:22,887
where there's food.
567
00:22:22,887 --> 00:22:24,407
- Can't we?
- Of course not.
568
00:22:24,407 --> 00:22:26,045
Oh, sorry.
Manuel.
569
00:22:27,287 --> 00:22:28,959
Put him in there,
in the basket.
570
00:22:30,127 --> 00:22:31,447
- Not in here.
- What?
571
00:22:31,447 --> 00:22:32,687
Not in the kitchen.
572
00:22:32,687 --> 00:22:34,567
Oh, right.
573
00:22:34,567 --> 00:22:36,523
(sobbing)
574
00:22:45,927 --> 00:22:47,487
Oh, um, Sybil!
575
00:22:47,487 --> 00:22:49,487
I'm looking after
Miss Tibbs, Basil.
576
00:22:49,487 --> 00:22:51,127
How are you feeling, dear?
577
00:22:51,127 --> 00:22:53,647
Won't be
two minutes, okay?
578
00:22:53,647 --> 00:22:54,967
Sorry about that, Doctor.
579
00:22:54,967 --> 00:22:56,887
Wash your hands
first, please.
580
00:22:56,887 --> 00:22:58,167
Oh, right.
581
00:22:58,167 --> 00:22:59,687
And make sure
this area is scrubbed
582
00:22:59,687 --> 00:23:01,207
before any more food
is prepared in here.
583
00:23:01,207 --> 00:23:02,527
Absolutely.
584
00:23:02,527 --> 00:23:03,647
Sausages excepted.
You may cook them immediately.
585
00:23:03,647 --> 00:23:04,687
I'll take the risk.
586
00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:06,040
But of course.
Toute suite.
587
00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:11,087
Leave it.
588
00:23:11,087 --> 00:23:12,927
- No, no, I take it.
- Leave it.
589
00:23:12,927 --> 00:23:14,967
Is no time, please.
No, no, no, please.
590
00:23:14,967 --> 00:23:15,967
I'm sitting here.
591
00:23:15,967 --> 00:23:17,207
Is no lunch till 12:00...
592
00:23:17,207 --> 00:23:18,367
I'm still having breakfast.
593
00:23:18,367 --> 00:23:22,087
Is finish, all gone,
breakfast kaput.
594
00:23:22,087 --> 00:23:23,367
I'm having sausages.
595
00:23:23,367 --> 00:23:25,367
Is not allowed.
596
00:23:25,367 --> 00:23:27,807
Put that back.
Look, I'm a doctor.
597
00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:29,207
I'm a doctor,
and I want my sausages.
598
00:23:29,207 --> 00:23:31,487
I tell you,
is finished.
599
00:23:31,487 --> 00:23:33,523
Bye, bye, please.
Bye, bye.
600
00:23:38,207 --> 00:23:39,607
Now look...
601
00:23:39,607 --> 00:23:40,767
Is finish.
602
00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:43,287
Give those to me.
Come on, come on.
603
00:23:43,287 --> 00:23:45,164
No, is no possible.
604
00:23:50,767 --> 00:23:52,847
- Is everything all right?
- He want to eat now.
605
00:23:52,847 --> 00:23:55,367
I've been trying to sit down
and he keeps moving things from my table.
606
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:56,607
I'm so sorry.
607
00:23:56,607 --> 00:23:58,287
He doesn't understand
that I haven't finished breakfast.
608
00:23:58,287 --> 00:23:59,436
Manuel...
609
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,687
Manuel,
let me explain.
610
00:24:03,687 --> 00:24:05,647
- Ow-ww!
- All right?
611
00:24:05,647 --> 00:24:07,167
You understand?
Good.
612
00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:09,078
They'll be ready
in just a couple of minutes.
613
00:24:11,847 --> 00:24:14,527
There we are, Mr. Ingrams,
number eight.
614
00:24:14,527 --> 00:24:16,047
Top of the stairs
on the right.
615
00:24:16,047 --> 00:24:17,567
Excuse me not
coming up with you,
616
00:24:17,567 --> 00:24:19,127
one of our guests
has been taken ill.
617
00:24:19,127 --> 00:24:20,116
Thank you.
618
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:29,047
- Man: Excuse me?
- In the office.
619
00:24:29,047 --> 00:24:31,087
- Excuse me?
- Yes?
620
00:24:31,087 --> 00:24:32,839
We have an appointment
with Mr. Leeman.
621
00:24:34,847 --> 00:24:36,207
Do you know
where he is?
622
00:24:36,207 --> 00:24:38,807
Where he is?
623
00:24:38,807 --> 00:24:39,876
Let me think.
624
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:43,519
Would he be
in the dining room?
625
00:24:44,967 --> 00:24:46,367
Might he be
in his room?
626
00:24:46,367 --> 00:24:49,200
Let me think.
Where is he?
627
00:24:50,727 --> 00:24:52,607
We've come
to collect him.
628
00:24:52,607 --> 00:24:54,887
- We're taking him...
- I'm sorry?
629
00:24:54,887 --> 00:24:55,887
We've come
to collect him.
630
00:24:55,887 --> 00:24:58,527
Oh, you've come
to collect him!
631
00:24:58,527 --> 00:24:59,607
Yes.
632
00:24:59,607 --> 00:25:01,967
I'm sorry,
I didn't realize.
633
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:04,207
- Modern dress.
- What?
634
00:25:04,207 --> 00:25:05,799
Your dress is very modern.
635
00:25:07,927 --> 00:25:09,327
I didn't realize
women did it.
636
00:25:09,327 --> 00:25:10,806
- Did what?
- Shh-hh.
637
00:25:12,767 --> 00:25:13,767
He's downstairs?
638
00:25:13,767 --> 00:25:15,359
No, no,
in the basket.
639
00:25:17,127 --> 00:25:18,367
I beg your pardon?
640
00:25:18,367 --> 00:25:19,767
He's in the basket.
641
00:25:19,767 --> 00:25:23,207
- In the basket?
- Yes. Hello.
642
00:25:23,207 --> 00:25:26,040
What's he doing
in the basket?
643
00:25:28,647 --> 00:25:30,444
Well, not much.
644
00:25:32,207 --> 00:25:33,847
What are you
talking about?
645
00:25:33,847 --> 00:25:35,439
Don't you believe...?
Look, look.
646
00:25:46,167 --> 00:25:47,207
Oh, my God, he's gone.
Where is he?
647
00:25:47,207 --> 00:25:50,563
- Polly: Fresh laundry.
- They've taken him!
648
00:25:53,007 --> 00:25:55,362
Stop! Stop!
649
00:26:03,927 --> 00:26:05,883
- (desk bell rings)
- Basil!
650
00:26:06,167 --> 00:26:08,687
If you could just hang on
a couple of minutes.
651
00:26:08,687 --> 00:26:09,676
Sorry to keep you.
652
00:26:11,847 --> 00:26:13,847
(winded)
It's all right. It's all right.
653
00:26:13,847 --> 00:26:16,600
We've sorted it out.
He's in this one.
654
00:26:18,847 --> 00:26:20,807
The doctor didn't want him
in the kitchen,
655
00:26:20,807 --> 00:26:23,167
- so we put him in the basket.
- It's more hygienic.
656
00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:24,998
- (hard ring)
- Sybil: Basil!
657
00:26:27,447 --> 00:26:29,287
- Yes?
- You do work here?
658
00:26:29,287 --> 00:26:30,447
Yes.
659
00:26:30,447 --> 00:26:32,007
We'd like to speak
to the manager.
660
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,804
I'm the manager.
Is there a problem?
661
00:26:35,847 --> 00:26:38,007
He is, really.
662
00:26:38,007 --> 00:26:40,807
There seems to be
some misunderstanding.
663
00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:43,087
We've come to collect
one of your guests,
664
00:26:43,087 --> 00:26:44,607
a Mr. Leeman,
665
00:26:44,607 --> 00:26:45,967
to take him into town
for a meeting.
666
00:26:45,967 --> 00:26:47,887
- Meeting?
- Yes, a meeting.
667
00:26:47,887 --> 00:26:49,764
With our managing director.
668
00:26:53,007 --> 00:26:54,967
Oh, I see.
Mr. Leeman.
669
00:26:54,967 --> 00:26:56,727
Yes.
670
00:26:56,727 --> 00:26:59,167
We thought you said...
the linen.
671
00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:00,600
Brilliant!
Sorry, sorry, that's it.
672
00:27:01,847 --> 00:27:04,287
- Sorry to keep you.
- Hello, my sweet.
673
00:27:04,287 --> 00:27:06,527
- What are you doing, Basil?
- It's a bit involved, dear,
674
00:27:06,527 --> 00:27:08,247
but we thought that
these gentlemen thought
675
00:27:08,247 --> 00:27:10,207
- that we thought...
- No, no, no...
676
00:27:10,207 --> 00:27:12,807
No, they were coming
for Mr. Leeman,
677
00:27:12,807 --> 00:27:15,167
and we thought they
were coming to collect the linen.
678
00:27:15,167 --> 00:27:16,327
Mr. Leeman?
679
00:27:16,327 --> 00:27:18,607
So, if you just sort
that one out, dear,
680
00:27:18,607 --> 00:27:20,367
I'll take the linen
upstairs.
681
00:27:20,367 --> 00:27:21,967
I see.
Thank you, Basil.
682
00:27:21,967 --> 00:27:23,320
Not at all.
683
00:27:24,487 --> 00:27:26,682
(Manuel groaning)
684
00:27:27,687 --> 00:27:30,281
Would you mind coming
into the office for a moment?
685
00:27:36,927 --> 00:27:37,967
Another one, Fawlty?
686
00:27:37,967 --> 00:27:39,887
No, same one, Major.
687
00:27:39,887 --> 00:27:40,922
Ah.
688
00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:46,999
Oh, sorry, sorry.
689
00:27:48,967 --> 00:27:51,003
- They've gone into the town.
- In there.
690
00:27:56,527 --> 00:27:57,516
Oh!
691
00:28:01,367 --> 00:28:03,727
Sorry, wrong room.
692
00:28:03,727 --> 00:28:06,241
Estoy muy... cansado.
693
00:28:13,007 --> 00:28:14,807
- Back in the basket.
- I can't lift.
694
00:28:14,807 --> 00:28:16,727
- Come on, come on.
- No, too tired.
695
00:28:16,727 --> 00:28:17,967
There's somebody coming.
696
00:28:17,967 --> 00:28:20,647
Mr. Fawlty, I no want
to work here anymore.
697
00:28:20,647 --> 00:28:22,127
- Open the basket.
- No.
698
00:28:22,127 --> 00:28:23,355
Open the basket!
699
00:28:26,407 --> 00:28:27,806
Now, inside.
700
00:28:29,127 --> 00:28:30,527
Not you.
701
00:28:30,527 --> 00:28:31,567
- I quit.
- Get out!
702
00:28:31,567 --> 00:28:33,287
- I on strike.
- I'm warning you.
703
00:28:33,287 --> 00:28:34,481
I stay here, is nice.
704
00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:39,247
You see this? You're next!
(yelps)
705
00:28:39,247 --> 00:28:41,407
Really, I'm so sorry.
706
00:28:41,407 --> 00:28:42,847
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
707
00:28:42,847 --> 00:28:44,527
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
708
00:28:44,527 --> 00:28:47,047
- Basil: Goodbye.
- Man: Goodbye.
709
00:28:47,047 --> 00:28:48,196
Goodbye.
710
00:28:50,087 --> 00:28:52,601
- Yes?
- Could I get my hat?
711
00:28:54,167 --> 00:28:55,727
Your hat?
712
00:28:55,727 --> 00:28:57,047
Yes, it's just there.
713
00:28:57,047 --> 00:28:58,167
Yes, I'll have it sent on.
714
00:28:58,167 --> 00:29:01,727
Do you have a card with your address?
I'll send it on.
715
00:29:01,727 --> 00:29:03,527
Well, could I just get it?
716
00:29:03,527 --> 00:29:05,916
Do you have to have it now?
717
00:29:07,407 --> 00:29:08,567
Well, yes.
718
00:29:08,567 --> 00:29:10,647
Supposing you lose it?
It is windy today.
719
00:29:10,647 --> 00:29:12,160
I'd like to have it.
720
00:29:13,527 --> 00:29:15,327
Oh, right.
721
00:29:15,327 --> 00:29:19,047
- Manuel! Manuel!
- He's in the basket.
722
00:29:19,047 --> 00:29:20,887
Polly, would you
get Manuel
723
00:29:20,887 --> 00:29:21,887
out of the basket,
please?
724
00:29:21,887 --> 00:29:23,007
Manuel?
725
00:29:23,007 --> 00:29:24,287
Yes, come on, girl.
What's the matter?
726
00:29:24,287 --> 00:29:26,647
- He isn't in there.
- Yes, he is.
727
00:29:26,647 --> 00:29:29,647
- He isn't.
- He is. Look for him.
728
00:29:29,647 --> 00:29:30,647
Oh, sorry.
729
00:29:30,647 --> 00:29:32,927
You big scab.
730
00:29:32,927 --> 00:29:34,280
See?
731
00:29:36,287 --> 00:29:37,847
Manuel, will you get
this gentlemen his hat, please?
732
00:29:37,847 --> 00:29:39,407
- Where?
- There.
733
00:29:39,407 --> 00:29:41,287
- On the rack.
- (Manuel gasps)
734
00:29:41,287 --> 00:29:42,767
- Sorry. What color was it?
- Brown.
735
00:29:42,767 --> 00:29:44,407
- Brown.
- No, that's not it.
736
00:29:44,407 --> 00:29:46,167
Thank you.
737
00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:47,447
Mr. Fawlty,
738
00:29:47,447 --> 00:29:49,007
I want a word with you
in your office.
739
00:29:49,007 --> 00:29:50,447
When would be
convenient for you?
740
00:29:50,447 --> 00:29:52,567
I'm 79.
741
00:29:52,567 --> 00:29:54,167
What on earth
is going on here?
742
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:55,887
Sorry about the eiderdown.
It got a bit caught.
743
00:29:55,887 --> 00:29:59,607
My baby, my baby's dying.
They've poisoned him!
744
00:29:59,607 --> 00:30:00,647
Your baby?
745
00:30:00,647 --> 00:30:02,607
- Sybil!
- He said he'd call for a vet.
746
00:30:02,607 --> 00:30:04,047
- A vet?
- Sybil!
747
00:30:04,047 --> 00:30:07,007
I've just cooked these sausages myself
and they're off.
748
00:30:07,007 --> 00:30:08,647
They should have been eaten
by the third.
749
00:30:08,647 --> 00:30:10,767
There you are, dear.
You do look nice.
750
00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:13,687
Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen.
751
00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:15,647
Laundry's ready!
Ladies and gentlemen,
752
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,607
there have been a lot
of cock-ups this morning.
753
00:30:17,607 --> 00:30:20,127
You all deserve an explanation,
and I'm happy to say,
754
00:30:20,127 --> 00:30:22,327
that my wife will give it to you.
Thank you so much.
755
00:30:22,327 --> 00:30:24,318
(angry chatter)
756
00:30:33,847 --> 00:30:35,967
What's going on,
old boy?
757
00:30:35,967 --> 00:30:37,087
(screams)
758
00:30:37,087 --> 00:30:38,567
Basil!
759
00:30:38,567 --> 00:30:40,847
Basil! Basil!
760
00:30:40,847 --> 00:30:42,997
Basil! Basil!
761
00:30:44,647 --> 00:30:47,605
(closing theme music plays)