1
00:00:34,306 --> 00:00:35,830
Okay, band meeting.
2
00:00:35,874 --> 00:00:38,569
- Murray, present. Bret, present.
- Mm-hmm.
3
00:00:38,609 --> 00:00:40,473
Jemaine, present.
All right,
4
00:00:40,510 --> 00:00:42,068
I haven't got time
for your time wasting.
5
00:00:42,112 --> 00:00:43,942
Today I've got to
move fast.
6
00:00:43,979 --> 00:00:45,469
We've got some
really good news.
7
00:00:45,514 --> 00:00:47,743
We've got our
biggest gig ever.
8
00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:49,249
Is it
the Grand Canyon one?
9
00:00:49,284 --> 00:00:51,513
No, there's no gigs
at the Grand Canyon.
10
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,486
Wouldn't have to be that big to be our
biggest gig ever.
11
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,352
Okay, enough guesses.
I'm gonna tell you.
12
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,447
- You ready?
- Mm-hmm.
13
00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:01,754
Ah... Central Park.
14
00:01:01,792 --> 00:01:02,816
- Central Park?
- Yes.
15
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,828
- Really?
- Confirmed this morning.
16
00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:06,988
- Headlining.
- Headlining at Central Park?
17
00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:08,258
- Yes.
- Us?
18
00:01:08,298 --> 00:01:09,924
- Yes.
- Me and Bret?
19
00:01:09,965 --> 00:01:11,626
- Yes!
- Bret as well?
20
00:01:11,667 --> 00:01:12,928
Yes, the two of you.
21
00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:15,128
As... as you are,
okay?
22
00:01:15,169 --> 00:01:17,227
I mean, you've got to be
on the top of your game,
23
00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:20,534
which is why I've booked
us into a warm-up tour.
24
00:01:20,573 --> 00:01:22,871
Here's your itineraries.
25
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,239
Murray, you said we couldn't afford
to go on tour.
26
00:01:27,277 --> 00:01:29,541
Well, I've said a lot
of things in my time, Bret.
27
00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:32,571
Not all of it's
worth listening to,
28
00:01:32,615 --> 00:01:35,412
but let's just say
this time around, it is.
29
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:39,385
I've dipped into the Flight of the
Conchords emergency fund.
30
00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:40,887
What emergency fund?
31
00:01:40,921 --> 00:01:42,888
Well, I'm not really
at liberty to say,
32
00:01:42,922 --> 00:01:44,287
but...
33
00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:46,120
okay?
34
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:50,158
- Where'd you get that from, Murray?
- Don't worry about it.
35
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:52,162
- Well, whose money is it?
- I'm not at liberty to say.
36
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,425
Just, don't worry
about it.
37
00:01:54,464 --> 00:01:57,330
Murray, have you
organized a tour before?
38
00:01:57,366 --> 00:02:00,163
Yes, of course I have.
What do you think this is?
39
00:02:00,201 --> 00:02:02,226
Was it a band tour?
40
00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:04,066
A rugby tour...
41
00:02:04,104 --> 00:02:05,662
I've organized.
Same thing.
42
00:02:05,706 --> 00:02:07,502
- Not really.
- Yes.
43
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:10,509
Players play the game,
you guys play the guitar.
44
00:02:10,543 --> 00:02:14,171
Don't they? They kick the ball,
you kick the... jams.
45
00:02:14,212 --> 00:02:16,645
So we have to get up
at 7:00 in the morning
46
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,510
and do 200 squat-thrusts?
47
00:02:18,548 --> 00:02:21,574
Oh no, some of these
won't, um, apply to you.
48
00:02:21,618 --> 00:02:23,812
Just look for the ones I've...
I've crossed out there,
49
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:27,912
and I've put red pen.
Look for the red pen instructions.
50
00:02:33,626 --> 00:02:36,117
How big's the bus
gonna be? The tour bus?
51
00:02:36,161 --> 00:02:37,957
This is the tour bus,
Jemaine.
52
00:02:37,996 --> 00:02:40,055
This isn't a tour bus.
53
00:02:40,098 --> 00:02:41,962
It says here we're
gonna have a tour bus.
54
00:02:41,999 --> 00:02:44,466
No, that's the rugby
itinerary, isn't it?
55
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,297
All right,
there's only two of you.
56
00:02:46,335 --> 00:02:48,461
You're not a big rugby team,
you don't need a bus.
57
00:02:48,503 --> 00:02:50,528
Oh, I thought we were
getting a tour bus.
58
00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:53,768
No, that's the rugby itinerary, Bret.
All right?
59
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,070
You can see there I've
crossed out "bus," haven't I?
60
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,702
Yeah, you crossed out "bus,"
and you wrote "bus."
61
00:02:58,744 --> 00:03:01,577
Yeah, I got confused there.
I didn't know what to do.
62
00:03:01,613 --> 00:03:03,671
"Honda Accord" was too big
to fit in the gap there,
63
00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:05,579
so I put "bus" back in.
64
00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:09,051
I knew as soon as I wrote it, there'd be
some sort of controversy.
65
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,780
Let me tell you
a little secret, Bret.
66
00:03:17,824 --> 00:03:20,088
You'll like this.
67
00:03:20,127 --> 00:03:23,220
Sometimes late at night
when I'm driving alone,
68
00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:25,855
I imagine
this is a bus.
69
00:03:25,897 --> 00:03:28,660
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
70
00:03:28,699 --> 00:03:30,394
Is that... a bit silly,
is it, Bret?
71
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,458
- No, that's cool.
- Is it?
72
00:03:32,502 --> 00:03:34,732
- Mmm.
- I thought you'd like that.
73
00:03:34,771 --> 00:03:36,294
- So you're the bus driver?
- Yeah.
74
00:03:36,338 --> 00:03:38,033
That's cool.
75
00:03:39,106 --> 00:03:40,403
Oh.
76
00:03:41,809 --> 00:03:44,436
- Shelly.
- Oh, how's Shelly?
77
00:03:44,477 --> 00:03:46,307
I thought
you were separated.
78
00:03:46,345 --> 00:03:48,176
No, we're back
together, remember?
79
00:03:48,213 --> 00:03:49,839
You asked me
why I was crying.
80
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:52,611
I said it was the happiest day
of my life.
81
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,412
You don't remember that?
82
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:56,282
Mmm, no.
83
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,115
Hey, sweetheart.
How are you?
84
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,382
What?
85
00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:02,481
Uh, no, it was
an emergency.
86
00:04:02,524 --> 00:04:06,186
Look, it's a temporary withdrawal
from the checking fund, all right?
87
00:04:06,226 --> 00:04:09,194
The savings
should be okay.
88
00:04:09,228 --> 00:04:11,991
Right. No, yeah,
okay, so I...
89
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:14,555
I transferred most of the savings into
the checking account.
90
00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:16,259
But look, it's just
temporary, all right?
91
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,961
We'll get it back.
Don't worry.
92
00:04:18,002 --> 00:04:20,196
We'II... we will.
We will get it back.
93
00:04:20,236 --> 00:04:22,397
We'll get it back, okay?
94
00:04:22,439 --> 00:04:24,201
We will!
95
00:04:24,239 --> 00:04:25,706
Say hi from me.
96
00:04:27,408 --> 00:04:29,239
What? No.
97
00:04:29,277 --> 00:04:31,642
Look, Shelly,
98
00:04:31,678 --> 00:04:35,135
those two effing idiots are good friends
of mine, okay?
99
00:04:35,181 --> 00:04:37,842
And no, they're not... it's nothing to do
with them, okay?
100
00:04:37,882 --> 00:04:40,715
I'm not even
managing them anymore.
101
00:04:40,752 --> 00:04:43,515
Look, I've got to go.
Bret says hi.
102
00:04:43,554 --> 00:04:46,021
I mean, ages ago
when I last saw him.
103
00:04:46,055 --> 00:04:48,784
All right?
All right, bye-bye.
104
00:04:48,824 --> 00:04:50,257
Is everything
all right, Murray?
105
00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:52,191
Absolutely, yeah.
106
00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:53,659
That reminds me...
Jemaine?
107
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,658
Jemaine?
108
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:59,028
Are your immigration papers
up to date?
109
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:01,191
Well, that's your job to
check our immigration papers.
110
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:03,200
- I don't know.
- Yeah, right, well anyway...
111
00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:05,225
I'm just wondering 'cause there's been
a car tailing us
112
00:05:05,269 --> 00:05:06,701
for the last hour.
113
00:05:06,737 --> 00:05:09,763
It's probably Mel
stalking us.
114
00:05:11,207 --> 00:05:12,936
Well, hey, guys!
115
00:05:12,975 --> 00:05:14,999
What a coincidence!
116
00:05:15,043 --> 00:05:17,374
Ha ha!
117
00:05:17,411 --> 00:05:19,242
Hey, Mel.
118
00:05:45,632 --> 00:05:48,259
What time
do we take off?
119
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,426
- What do you mean?
- What time's our flight?
120
00:05:50,468 --> 00:05:52,698
We're not flying anywhere.
121
00:05:52,737 --> 00:05:54,465
Why are we
at an airport?
122
00:05:54,505 --> 00:05:55,904
That's where
the gig is, Jemaine.
123
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,769
- It's at the airport.
- At the airport?
124
00:05:57,807 --> 00:06:00,173
Yeah, well here,
at the hotel...
125
00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:01,937
in the lounge.
126
00:06:01,977 --> 00:06:04,172
Come on, it's time
for the gig. Let's go.
127
00:06:04,212 --> 00:06:06,179
# Who likes to rock the party? #
128
00:06:06,213 --> 00:06:08,443
# We like to rock
the party #
129
00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:14,315
Um, well thank you
very much,
130
00:06:14,353 --> 00:06:18,584
um, to the La Guardia
Hotel lobby...
131
00:06:18,623 --> 00:06:20,180
- um...
- Shut up, Bret.
132
00:06:20,223 --> 00:06:22,691
Uh, thank you for having us.
It's been a real treat.
133
00:06:22,726 --> 00:06:24,750
And thank you
just for being here...
134
00:06:24,794 --> 00:06:26,455
Don't... don't do your
embarrassing speeches.
135
00:06:26,495 --> 00:06:28,052
We're Flight
of the Conchords,
136
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,859
and thank you again.
137
00:06:29,898 --> 00:06:32,866
Thank you. CDs and T-shirts are
for sale at the desk there.
138
00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:37,629
- Well?
- Brilliant.
139
00:06:37,669 --> 00:06:39,432
- Yeah?
- Yeah, as always.
140
00:06:39,471 --> 00:06:41,063
Really good.
Good speech too, Bret.
141
00:06:41,106 --> 00:06:43,767
- Thanks, it was all right.
- Yeah. What a night, eh?
142
00:06:43,808 --> 00:06:45,934
Well, it's only the middle
of the afternoon, though.
143
00:06:45,975 --> 00:06:49,102
- So? You know, it's a hot venue.
- Oh, yeah yeah.
144
00:06:49,144 --> 00:06:51,135
Yeah? This is good.
Listen to the crowd.
145
00:06:52,647 --> 00:06:53,944
There's hardly
anyone here.
146
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,448
Yeah, it's subsided now.
A lot of people have...
147
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,916
gone to get their flights,
148
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,248
but it's really good.
Oh, before I forget.
149
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,880
Uh, I've got
your per diems, okay?
150
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,287
So, here we go.
151
00:07:05,323 --> 00:07:06,483
- Jemaine.
- Oh great.
152
00:07:06,524 --> 00:07:08,388
Yeah. Bret.
153
00:07:08,425 --> 00:07:10,484
Okay?
Off you go.
154
00:07:10,527 --> 00:07:12,153
I'll see you in
an hour for dinner.
155
00:07:12,195 --> 00:07:14,287
- Thanks, Murray.
- Have fun.
156
00:07:17,532 --> 00:07:19,897
And the point of a per diem, as I think
I made quite clear,
157
00:07:19,934 --> 00:07:22,834
is that it's to be spent on food
and necessary items, all right?
158
00:07:22,869 --> 00:07:25,769
Not leather suits.
It's a total waste of money.
159
00:07:25,804 --> 00:07:27,431
It's necessary for...
160
00:07:27,472 --> 00:07:30,065
Now you've got
no money for food...
161
00:07:30,107 --> 00:07:32,007
or necessary items.
162
00:07:35,779 --> 00:07:38,975
Perhaps you could give us an advance
on tomorrow's per diem?
163
00:07:39,014 --> 00:07:40,537
You've spent
tomorrow's per diem.
164
00:07:40,582 --> 00:07:42,641
The per diem I gave you
for was for the week.
165
00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:44,674
Could I have some of your chips
please, Murray?
166
00:07:44,718 --> 00:07:46,276
You can have
a few of them.
167
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,150
"Per diem" means
for the day, though. See?
168
00:07:48,187 --> 00:07:49,779
Well, I don't
know Latin.
169
00:07:49,822 --> 00:07:51,482
Well, you should have
said..."per weekem,"
170
00:07:51,523 --> 00:07:53,684
- would be the correct term.
- Regardless, Jemaine.
171
00:07:53,725 --> 00:07:56,352
Per diem, per weekem, you don't go
spending it on bloody leather suits.
172
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,952
- Don't you?
- No.
173
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:02,452
Can I have some of the chips that
you said Bret could have?
174
00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:05,295
Bret!
175
00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:07,597
- Oh, do you want some of my chips?
- Oh, forget it now.
176
00:08:07,635 --> 00:08:09,659
They're yours now.
177
00:08:09,703 --> 00:08:11,330
Hey, Murray, do you want
to see what else we got?
178
00:08:11,371 --> 00:08:12,667
No, I don't, Bret,
actually.
179
00:08:12,705 --> 00:08:14,673
I don't want to see anything
you've got there
180
00:08:14,707 --> 00:08:16,503
unless it's food
or necessary items.
181
00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:19,442
I'm so livid
with you turkeys.
182
00:08:19,477 --> 00:08:23,935
You're like a couple
of cool-Iooking idiots.
183
00:08:27,916 --> 00:08:30,077
We'll get it back. We will get it back,
all right?
184
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:32,085
Just call me tomorrow,
but don't call me at work.
185
00:08:32,119 --> 00:08:34,087
Do not call me
at work, all right?
186
00:08:34,121 --> 00:08:37,283
I don't want them asking silly questions
as to why I'm not at work, okay?
187
00:08:37,323 --> 00:08:39,449
It's just
gonna get like...
188
00:08:39,491 --> 00:08:41,789
hello? Hello?
189
00:08:43,594 --> 00:08:46,687
Okay, love you too!
Bye-bye!
190
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,721
- Hey, Bret.
- That Shelly?
191
00:08:48,765 --> 00:08:49,958
Yeah yeah.
192
00:08:49,999 --> 00:08:51,967
- She good?
- Yeah, it's all good.
193
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,627
Jemaine said you wanted
to have a meeting?
194
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:58,968
Um, nothing's scheduled.
195
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,632
Is it about
leather suits?
196
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,641
I don't blame you
for the leather suits, Bret.
197
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,505
- That's a classic rock 'n' roll move.
- Thank you.
198
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:06,032
- Really good.
- Thanks.
199
00:09:06,077 --> 00:09:07,737
Which is why I know
Jemaine came up with it.
200
00:09:07,778 --> 00:09:08,802
- No.
- Yeah.
201
00:09:08,846 --> 00:09:10,575
You must have
followed him, did you?
202
00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:12,911
What, don't you think I'm capable
of a classic rock 'n' roll move?
203
00:09:12,949 --> 00:09:14,644
No, you're not like that.
That's Jemaine all over it.
204
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,173
That reminds me,
205
00:09:16,218 --> 00:09:18,186
just, you know, keep
an eye on Jemaine, okay?
206
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:21,188
We're on tour now. Brings out
the crazier side of someone like him.
207
00:09:21,222 --> 00:09:23,348
- Okay.
- Okay, just watch him.
208
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:25,085
All right, well he's
having a sleep.
209
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:26,352
- Oh, is he?
- Yeah.
210
00:09:26,392 --> 00:09:28,724
Probably not his bed,
though? Eh?
211
00:09:28,761 --> 00:09:30,387
- Yes, his bed.
- Is it?
212
00:09:30,428 --> 00:09:32,396
- Yeah.
- He'd be lying on top of it, though.
213
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:34,693
He won't be... won't be in it.
He'll be on top...
214
00:09:34,731 --> 00:09:36,392
No, he's tucked in.
It's boring.
215
00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:38,059
- Oh, is he?
- Yeah.
216
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:40,863
Probably, uh, he's having a rest.
Getting ready for tonight.
217
00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:43,462
He was watching TV. He wanted to see
what the weather was gonna be like.
218
00:09:43,505 --> 00:09:44,994
Oh, wow.
219
00:09:45,039 --> 00:09:47,507
Probably looking for some thunderstorms
to rock out in.
220
00:09:47,541 --> 00:09:49,940
You watch him,
all right?
221
00:09:49,976 --> 00:09:52,205
Oh, it's hilarious.
222
00:09:52,244 --> 00:09:55,542
Oh, you've got to see this,
Bret, it's so... so funny.
223
00:09:55,579 --> 00:09:57,103
What's happening?
224
00:09:57,148 --> 00:09:59,547
Uh, well the guys with the suits
are putting on this big show now,
225
00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:00,947
and everyone's
just loving it.
226
00:10:00,984 --> 00:10:02,951
No, don't move it,
don't move it.
227
00:10:02,985 --> 00:10:05,215
Gotta be in exactly
the right place.
228
00:10:05,254 --> 00:10:07,915
It's your turn to hold it, man.
My arms are sore.
229
00:10:07,956 --> 00:10:09,752
I can't hold it. I'm in the middle
of a movie.
230
00:10:09,790 --> 00:10:11,417
This is
a critical point.
231
00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:13,448
Aw. You ruined
the reception.
232
00:10:13,492 --> 00:10:15,153
Do you want anything
from the minibar?
233
00:10:15,194 --> 00:10:16,252
- No.
- No?
234
00:10:16,295 --> 00:10:18,194
We're not allowed stuff
from the minibar.
235
00:10:18,229 --> 00:10:20,526
- Yeah, I know, but...
- Do not get anything from the minibar.
236
00:10:20,564 --> 00:10:22,259
- Just getting some nuts...
- Don't get anything.
237
00:10:22,299 --> 00:10:25,290
I'll just get some mixed nuts.
It's all right. I've already taken...
238
00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:27,530
Oh! Oh!
239
00:10:34,475 --> 00:10:36,305
Room fee, check.
240
00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:38,708
Lodging tax, check.
241
00:10:38,744 --> 00:10:42,702
Well, somebody had a bit of fun
last night, didn't they, Jemaine?
242
00:10:42,747 --> 00:10:45,341
- What?
- $8 can of mixed nuts.
243
00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,213
They must have
been pretty good.
244
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:50,548
Got so much buzz out of them that you
chucked a television out the window.
245
00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:52,986
- Actually, Murray, that was me.
- Don't cover for him, Bret.
246
00:10:53,022 --> 00:10:55,819
I know how rock 'n' roll he thinks
he is... Mr. Keith Moon.
247
00:10:55,857 --> 00:10:57,619
- It wasn't Jemaine, it was me.
- Really?
248
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:00,388
- Yes.
- I see what you're doing.
249
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,690
You're watching Jemaine
with his rock 'n' roll moves,
250
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,958
buying the leather suits,
getting the mixed nuts,
251
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,591
jumping on the bed. And you thought,
"Oh, how can I equal this?"
252
00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:10,259
- Is that what it is?
- No.
253
00:11:13,303 --> 00:11:15,236
Would you like
some mixed nuts?
254
00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:16,999
Have you got
any cashews in there?
255
00:11:17,039 --> 00:11:19,632
- No, I picked them out.
- Typical.
256
00:11:26,079 --> 00:11:28,171
One, two, check.
257
00:11:28,214 --> 00:11:30,010
Check.
258
00:11:47,795 --> 00:11:50,763
Hi, I'm Murray Hewitt from
Murray Hewitt Productions.
259
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,957
- Hi, Murray.
- I've got Flight of the Conchords.
260
00:11:52,998 --> 00:11:54,488
We're just on
a warm-up tour.
261
00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,898
Really looking forward
to doing a gig here tonight.
262
00:11:56,934 --> 00:11:59,663
These are the guys that destroyed
all that equipment the other night
263
00:11:59,703 --> 00:12:01,830
- in Passaic!
- Yeah.
264
00:12:01,872 --> 00:12:03,839
Yeah, um...
265
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,397
I paid it back!
266
00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:07,203
We reimb...
267
00:12:11,178 --> 00:12:14,704
Guys, I just need
a moment alone, all right?
268
00:12:18,483 --> 00:12:20,917
Hey, has your suit
snugged up a little bit?
269
00:12:20,951 --> 00:12:23,351
In certain areas, yes.
270
00:12:23,387 --> 00:12:25,684
And in other areas,
also yes.
271
00:12:25,722 --> 00:12:28,747
Hey, I was wondering if you guys
could settle a bet for me?
272
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,258
What sort of bet?
273
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,020
Are you guys
in a band?
274
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:34,290
Yes. Is it that obvious?
275
00:12:34,328 --> 00:12:36,955
I knew it, I totally
knew it. They are!
276
00:12:36,997 --> 00:12:39,022
See? 'Cause the...
the second I saw
277
00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:41,533
the cool leather suits,
I just knew it.
278
00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,830
They're a dead giveaway,
aren't they? Just...
279
00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:44,994
- Totally.
- Mmm.
280
00:12:45,036 --> 00:12:46,832
Becky thought you guys
were probably just
281
00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:49,338
a couple of magicians, and Kathy, Lisa,
Tawny and Tracy
282
00:12:49,373 --> 00:12:51,135
thought you were probably
just a couple of gays.
283
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:53,506
Looks like Becky
and Kathy were wrong.
284
00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:56,204
And Lisa and Tawny
and Tracy... what was it?
285
00:12:56,244 --> 00:12:58,677
You guys want to join us
for some drinks or something?
286
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:01,078
Uh, we just got
two fresh waters, so...
287
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,342
We'd be delighted.
288
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,941
Hey, why are you all
dressed the same?
289
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:07,110
- Are you guys a band?
- Are you sexy nurses?
290
00:13:07,152 --> 00:13:11,417
What? No, we're the North Jersey
University Women's Water Polo team.
291
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:14,424
N-J-U-W-W-P-T!
292
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:16,448
Whoo!
293
00:13:16,492 --> 00:13:18,483
All right,
come on, then.
294
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:30,932
Do you guys have
water polo in New Zealand?
295
00:13:30,969 --> 00:13:32,994
Do we? Pfft.
296
00:13:33,038 --> 00:13:34,834
- Do we?
- Yeah, it's... everyone plays it.
297
00:13:34,872 --> 00:13:36,840
- It's our national sport.
- Yeah, it's our national sport.
298
00:13:36,874 --> 00:13:38,841
- Every single person plays it, yeah.
- Yeah.
299
00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:40,843
- Bret's mom plays it.
- Really?
300
00:13:40,877 --> 00:13:43,140
- It's a beautiful game.
- That's perfect.
301
00:13:43,178 --> 00:13:44,475
That is perfect.
302
00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:46,412
I am totally
gonna save this autograph
303
00:13:46,447 --> 00:13:47,914
for when
you guys are huge.
304
00:13:47,949 --> 00:13:49,916
Then I will be able
to say that I knew...
305
00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:52,145
- Bret?
- Yeah. Bret.
306
00:13:52,185 --> 00:13:55,153
- Brit? Brit?
- Bret. Bret.
307
00:13:55,187 --> 00:13:56,414
- Brit.
- Bret.
308
00:13:56,454 --> 00:13:58,684
- Bret!
- Yeah yeah.
309
00:13:58,723 --> 00:14:00,883
Sorry. What...
what's your last name?
310
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:01,913
Bret.
311
00:14:01,959 --> 00:14:03,323
Bret Bret?
312
00:14:03,359 --> 00:14:05,725
No, just joking.
It's McKenzie.
313
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,523
- Oh!
- Just joking.
314
00:14:07,562 --> 00:14:09,894
He's got a great sense of humor.
Don't joke, please.
315
00:14:09,931 --> 00:14:11,864
- Yeah, sorry about that.
- Don't joke, Bret...
316
00:14:11,899 --> 00:14:13,457
- Sorry, I shouldn't have...
...it's confusing when you joke.
317
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,331
- That's my name, that's...
- I love your accent.
318
00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:17,563
- Thank you.
- I have the same.
319
00:14:17,604 --> 00:14:19,662
Say, "Throw another shrimp
on the barbie."
320
00:14:19,705 --> 00:14:21,604
Oh, that's... that's an Australian
saying. New Zealand...
321
00:14:21,639 --> 00:14:23,834
Throw another shrimp
on the barbie.
322
00:14:23,875 --> 00:14:25,899
Crikey! Wha!
323
00:14:25,942 --> 00:14:29,877
What do you guys say
we take this party upstairs?
324
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:33,574
Ho. I'd say... yes.
325
00:14:33,615 --> 00:14:36,344
Uh well, what room
are you guys in?
326
00:14:36,383 --> 00:14:39,011
- Um, 12...
- 1206.
327
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,019
- 1206.
- 12-zero-6. Write it down, Bret.
328
00:14:41,053 --> 00:14:43,112
- 1206...
- Be... be tidy about it.
329
00:14:43,156 --> 00:14:46,613
I like your "2."
It's nice.
330
00:14:46,658 --> 00:14:48,750
So what is water polo?
331
00:14:48,792 --> 00:14:51,419
It's like polo
but in the water.
332
00:14:51,461 --> 00:14:52,985
On sea horses?
333
00:14:53,029 --> 00:14:54,859
No, just swimming.
334
00:14:54,897 --> 00:14:57,331
Oh, okay. Beautiful
swimming ladies.
335
00:14:57,366 --> 00:14:59,492
Yeah, swimming
in the water,
336
00:14:59,534 --> 00:15:01,831
- beautiful ladies.
- Wow.
337
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,961
Like mermaids.
338
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,632
Yes. Like mermaids.
339
00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:20,373
# Mermaids #
340
00:15:20,415 --> 00:15:23,043
# Mermaid #
341
00:15:23,084 --> 00:15:25,210
# Mermaid #
342
00:15:25,252 --> 00:15:27,811
# Mermaid #
343
00:15:27,854 --> 00:15:30,345
- # Mermaid #
- # Mermaid #
344
00:15:30,390 --> 00:15:32,584
- # Mermaid #
- # Mermaid #
345
00:15:32,624 --> 00:15:35,091
# Mermaid, mermaid #
346
00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:37,617
- # Mermaid #
- # Mermaid #
347
00:15:37,662 --> 00:15:39,288
# Mermaid murmur #
348
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:42,195
# Into my ear #
349
00:15:42,231 --> 00:15:44,529
# The answers
to questions #
350
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:47,501
# I'm longing
to hear #
351
00:15:47,535 --> 00:15:51,026
# Does it relax you to hear
the sound of the land? #
352
00:15:52,439 --> 00:15:55,965
# Do you, oh mermaid,
have slightly webbed hands? #
353
00:15:56,008 --> 00:15:57,998
- Eww.
- # Ahh #
354
00:15:58,043 --> 00:16:00,374
# Is it normal for a guy
to wear SCUBA apparatus #
355
00:16:00,411 --> 00:16:03,209
- # When he makes love in the sea? #
- # Make love to me #
356
00:16:03,247 --> 00:16:05,009
# Would it
be weird for you #
357
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:08,414
# If I touch your fishy half?
I know it would be for me #
358
00:16:18,524 --> 00:16:20,424
# Do you have
mermaid parties #
359
00:16:20,459 --> 00:16:23,018
- # Beneath the sea? #
- # Am I invited? #
360
00:16:23,061 --> 00:16:25,961
# At these mermaid parties,
do you smoke seaweed? #
361
00:16:25,996 --> 00:16:28,157
# If so, then how
do you light it? #
362
00:16:28,198 --> 00:16:31,064
# Are you the answer to a drunken
sailor's Ionely wish? #
363
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:32,863
# Wish wish wish wish #
364
00:16:32,902 --> 00:16:35,233
# Or are you an optical
illusion caused by #
365
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:38,796
# A woman sitting on a rock
holding half a fish? #
366
00:16:38,839 --> 00:16:40,533
# Half a sexy fish. #
367
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,240
What's the time?
368
00:16:56,785 --> 00:16:59,651
It's 4:35.
369
00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:02,849
Mmm. You did tell them
room 1206, right?
370
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,789
Yeah, you were there.
I wrote it down.
371
00:17:04,825 --> 00:17:06,587
Ah. Hmm.
372
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:09,151
Bret, do you
think maybe...
373
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,821
they're not coming,
maybe?
374
00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:13,159
- What?
- Well...
375
00:17:13,197 --> 00:17:15,529
we've been waiting
for five hours.
376
00:17:15,566 --> 00:17:18,728
Hmm, maybe.
377
00:17:18,768 --> 00:17:21,395
Do you feel like
a sparkling water?
378
00:17:21,436 --> 00:17:24,030
Yeah, I'd love one.
I wanted one three hours ago,
379
00:17:24,071 --> 00:17:26,369
but you said
Murray wouldn't let us.
380
00:17:26,407 --> 00:17:28,704
Hang on a minute.
381
00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:33,838
Murray?
382
00:17:33,879 --> 00:17:35,573
- What?
- Are you sleeping?
383
00:17:35,613 --> 00:17:39,139
Oh, I was, Bret.
Trying to, anyway.
384
00:17:39,182 --> 00:17:41,047
- You comfortable?
- No.
385
00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:43,051
- How's your party?
- Mmm, it's all right.
386
00:17:43,085 --> 00:17:45,212
It's just Jemaine and me.
The girls didn't show up.
387
00:17:45,254 --> 00:17:47,380
Aw. Never mind, eh?
388
00:17:47,422 --> 00:17:49,855
Jemaine and I were wondering if we could
have a sparkling water.
389
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:50,982
- No.
- We really need it.
390
00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:52,287
- No!
- Please?
391
00:17:52,326 --> 00:17:53,451
- Not from the minibar.
- Please.
392
00:17:53,493 --> 00:17:54,892
- No.
- Please.
393
00:17:54,927 --> 00:17:57,087
Look, just pour some tap water
and blow some bubbles in it.
394
00:17:57,129 --> 00:17:59,222
Mmm, it's not the same.
395
00:17:59,264 --> 00:18:01,356
Come on, I want to
come out there.
396
00:18:01,399 --> 00:18:04,129
Mmm, well the girls
still might show up.
397
00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:06,067
Okay.
398
00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:09,403
- Good night.
- Night night.
399
00:18:17,077 --> 00:18:19,544
Okay, hang on a minute, guys.
I haven't settled the bill yet.
400
00:18:19,578 --> 00:18:20,909
Just a few questions.
401
00:18:20,946 --> 00:18:22,970
We didn't have anything
from the minibar.
402
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:26,847
No, I can see that, Bret.
"Minibar charge, 0.00."
403
00:18:26,884 --> 00:18:31,582
Right here after "Drinks charged
to the room from hotel bar, $352."
404
00:18:31,621 --> 00:18:33,554
How much was that water?
405
00:18:33,588 --> 00:18:35,385
- The water was free.
- Hang on, mates!
406
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:36,982
Someone wants me
to move my car.
407
00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:38,685
- Band meeting! I'm just...
- Waters were about $175.
408
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,626
I'm doing a...
409
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,151
- Here we are, two waters.
- Is that your signature?
410
00:18:43,196 --> 00:18:44,719
- Mmm?
- Right there?
411
00:18:44,763 --> 00:18:46,287
Oh no,
that's my autograph.
412
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,959
Yup, same... that's what
a signature is.
413
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,398
Okay, and there's
the room number.
414
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:50,662
- Uh...
- Oh is that...
415
00:18:50,702 --> 00:18:52,669
Hang on, mate!
416
00:18:52,703 --> 00:18:54,193
- Okay.
- Look, do us a favor and move the car.
417
00:18:54,237 --> 00:18:55,498
- Go on, quickly.
- Oh, that's...
418
00:18:55,538 --> 00:18:57,301
Go! Move the car.
419
00:18:59,641 --> 00:19:01,472
This is your doing,
isn't it, Rod Stewart?
420
00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:02,805
- You can tell.
- It wasn't me, actually.
421
00:19:02,843 --> 00:19:04,674
The dead giveaway.
Look at all that money.
422
00:19:04,712 --> 00:19:07,077
It was a women's
water polo team.
423
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,013
Okay, right,
that makes sense.
424
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,844
I'll tell them that.
"Yeah, sorry,
425
00:19:10,882 --> 00:19:12,713
it was polo players."
426
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:14,308
Must happen
all the time, does it?
427
00:19:14,352 --> 00:19:16,343
Well, I doubt if they're
gonna listen to you.
428
00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:17,614
Is this a joke,
Jemaine?
429
00:19:17,654 --> 00:19:20,885
- No.
- A big joke? $352 water polo joke?
430
00:19:20,923 --> 00:19:23,858
- No.
- Let me just go and fix it, shall I?
431
00:19:23,892 --> 00:19:25,188
Give me the keys.
432
00:19:25,226 --> 00:19:27,126
Oh, they're in the car.
433
00:19:27,161 --> 00:19:28,650
Idiot.
434
00:19:28,695 --> 00:19:31,391
- Um, did you put the hand brake on?
- Is it...
435
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,864
Oh, flub.
436
00:19:35,034 --> 00:19:36,660
I just don't understand
what happened.
437
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,259
I put the hand brake on.
438
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,497
Well that's what happened.
The Amer... on American cars,
439
00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:42,027
the hand brake's
on this side.
440
00:19:42,072 --> 00:19:43,834
Oh, I must have just
adjusted the seat.
441
00:19:43,873 --> 00:19:45,932
Oh, very rock 'n' roll,
Bret.
442
00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:47,532
More rock 'n' roll
than Jemaine.
443
00:19:47,576 --> 00:19:49,544
That's what you were
going for, wasn't it?
444
00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:52,102
Well, well done.
Mission accomplished.
445
00:19:52,146 --> 00:19:55,273
First Jemaine
with the mixed nuts,
446
00:19:55,315 --> 00:19:57,646
then the TV.
447
00:19:57,683 --> 00:20:01,709
And finally, Bret, you drive my Honda
into the pool!
448
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,887
Personally, I prefer
the mixed nuts caper.
449
00:20:04,921 --> 00:20:07,014
- At least that was original.
- Thank you.
450
00:20:07,057 --> 00:20:09,547
Murray, I didn't actually
mean to put your car
451
00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:10,889
into the swimming pool.
452
00:20:10,926 --> 00:20:12,654
I didn't... I didn't mean
to buy those nuts.
453
00:20:12,694 --> 00:20:15,356
Well, I didn't mean
to put all my efforts
454
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:17,421
into looking after a couple
of leather-clad lunatics
455
00:20:17,464 --> 00:20:20,261
who don't give a damn about anyone
but themselves.
456
00:20:20,299 --> 00:20:22,028
That's my mistake.
457
00:20:22,068 --> 00:20:24,831
Well, we all... we've all
made a mistake each,
458
00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:27,064
so it sort of
evens out.
459
00:20:27,104 --> 00:20:29,004
No!
Okay, guys?
460
00:20:29,039 --> 00:20:31,632
Look, the strategic union
of Flight of the Conchords
461
00:20:31,674 --> 00:20:34,198
and Murray Hewitt Productions
is terminated.
462
00:20:34,243 --> 00:20:35,710
- What are you talking about?
- What?
463
00:20:35,744 --> 00:20:37,075
You know what I'm talking about.
I'm quitting!
464
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,705
You can't quit the band.
Bret usually quits the band.
465
00:20:39,747 --> 00:20:41,236
Well, this is
my turn, okay?
466
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:42,908
I've had it
with you guys!
467
00:20:42,949 --> 00:20:44,541
I'm so angry
I feel like swearing.
468
00:20:44,584 --> 00:20:46,551
Oh Murray,
you wouldn't swear at us.
469
00:20:46,585 --> 00:20:48,950
Go fuck yourself, Bret!
470
00:20:52,456 --> 00:20:55,289
N-J-U-W-W-P-T!
Whoo!
471
00:20:55,325 --> 00:20:56,518
Whoo!
472
00:20:59,828 --> 00:21:02,058
Do you have
any money for a bus?
473
00:21:02,097 --> 00:21:03,620
No, do you?
474
00:21:03,664 --> 00:21:05,495
No, none.
475
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,927
I guess there's
no choice, really.
476
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:13,369
So, uh, have you
and Mel been...
477
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:15,838
following us
through this whole...
478
00:21:15,873 --> 00:21:19,239
during this whole tour...
tour, Doug?
479
00:21:19,276 --> 00:21:20,834
Uh, it seems like it.
480
00:21:20,877 --> 00:21:22,844
Mel's in charge
of the itinerary.
481
00:21:22,878 --> 00:21:25,971
She said she just wanted
to get away on a road trip,
482
00:21:26,014 --> 00:21:27,447
get away from it all.
483
00:21:27,482 --> 00:21:29,005
That him?
484
00:21:29,049 --> 00:21:31,711
Uh, no that's just
some homeless guy.
485
00:21:31,752 --> 00:21:34,618
Oh no, that is him!
Slow down, Doug.
486
00:21:37,789 --> 00:21:39,654
We're very sorry,
Murray.
487
00:21:39,690 --> 00:21:41,214
I'm not talking
to you guys.
488
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:42,520
Just give this to him.
489
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,550
Bret says just
give this to you.
490
00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:46,459
Oh, what's that?
A bag of stolen clock radios
491
00:21:46,496 --> 00:21:48,087
from the hotels
we stayed at?
492
00:21:48,130 --> 00:21:50,189
- No.
- Tell him to look inside.
493
00:21:50,232 --> 00:21:52,961
Bret says, "Just tell him
to look in it."
494
00:22:04,742 --> 00:22:08,108
- Oh, wow.
- Whoa.
495
00:22:08,145 --> 00:22:11,238
- Huh?
- It's a little big.
496
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,747
But get it wet and it
snugs up, it'll shrink...
497
00:22:13,782 --> 00:22:14,976
shrink to fit.
498
00:22:15,016 --> 00:22:17,142
Yeah, I can't even
get mine off.
499
00:22:18,552 --> 00:22:20,849
You know, I've...
I've done a lot of thinking
500
00:22:20,887 --> 00:22:23,787
that last 40 minutes when I was
walking along the side of the road
501
00:22:23,822 --> 00:22:27,188
like a bum.
I kind of realized
502
00:22:27,225 --> 00:22:29,625
I'm not a very
good manager.
503
00:22:29,660 --> 00:22:32,093
Ah. So? I mean,
that's not true.
504
00:22:32,128 --> 00:22:34,255
Thanks, Jemaine.
505
00:22:34,297 --> 00:22:35,820
But it is.
506
00:22:35,865 --> 00:22:38,594
There there.
507
00:22:40,835 --> 00:22:43,268
There there there
there there there.
508
00:22:45,038 --> 00:22:47,471
Friends again?
Back in the band?
509
00:22:47,507 --> 00:22:49,770
If you'll have me.
510
00:22:49,808 --> 00:22:51,503
We will.
We do.
511
00:22:51,543 --> 00:22:53,806
What about you, Jemaine?
Will you have me?
512
00:22:53,844 --> 00:22:56,278
Yeah. Yeah.
513
00:22:56,313 --> 00:22:57,472
Yup.
514
00:23:00,048 --> 00:23:02,039
- What's...
- Then you put your...
515
00:23:02,084 --> 00:23:03,346
- Potato?
- You...
516
00:23:03,385 --> 00:23:05,511
- One potato, two...
- No, just leave it.
517
00:23:05,553 --> 00:23:07,918
Come on, we've got a gig.
We've got a gig to get to.
518
00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:09,922
Let's go!
519
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:12,549
Did you miss me?
520
00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:15,385
- Little bit.
- Little bit, eh?
521
00:23:15,426 --> 00:23:16,552
Yeah.
522
00:23:16,594 --> 00:23:17,822
- Jemaine?
- What?
523
00:23:17,862 --> 00:23:19,590
- Miss me?
- Oh...
524
00:23:23,332 --> 00:23:25,629
This isn't Central Park.
525
00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:27,157
Yes it is.
It's a central park.
526
00:23:27,202 --> 00:23:29,170
It's not
Central Park, though.
527
00:23:29,204 --> 00:23:30,602
But it is
a central park.
528
00:23:30,638 --> 00:23:32,196
But you said Central Park,
New York.
529
00:23:32,239 --> 00:23:34,570
I said a central park
in Newark...
530
00:23:34,607 --> 00:23:36,438
- New Jersey.
- You did?
531
00:23:36,476 --> 00:23:39,672
- No, you didn't. You didn't.
- Yes, I said, "A central park
532
00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:42,611
- in Newark."
- So you were tricking us.
533
00:23:42,647 --> 00:23:45,615
No. Well, look. If I'd have said it was
a central park in Newark,
534
00:23:45,649 --> 00:23:48,242
- you wouldn't have done the gig.
- Yes, we would have.
535
00:23:48,284 --> 00:23:50,081
Well, what are you
worried about, then?
536
00:23:54,489 --> 00:23:57,787
Hello, Shelly? Oh look, I can't
actually talk right now.
537
00:23:57,824 --> 00:24:02,055
Why? Because I'm in
the middle of doing something.
538
00:24:02,093 --> 00:24:04,061
Managing a band, actually,
539
00:24:04,095 --> 00:24:06,756
a little band called
Flight of the Conchords.
540
00:24:06,797 --> 00:24:08,355
Yeah yeah.
541
00:24:08,399 --> 00:24:10,332
'Cause that's what
I do, all right?
542
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:12,561
Got it? Good.
543
00:24:17,438 --> 00:24:20,372
Sorry, Shel, I didn't mean to...
544
00:24:20,407 --> 00:24:22,341
oh, yes, sir. Yes.
545
00:24:22,375 --> 00:24:25,775
Yes. Listen, um, the reason I haven't
been at work all week
546
00:24:25,811 --> 00:24:28,142
is, uh... well, it's funny really.
547
00:24:28,179 --> 00:24:31,080
I tripped over, and both of my leg...
548
00:24:31,115 --> 00:24:34,379
uh, muscles have...
well, they contracted
549
00:24:34,418 --> 00:24:37,250
and I didn't know what... no. No.
550
00:24:37,286 --> 00:24:38,980
I don't manage a band.
551
00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,510
It has nothing to do with a band.
552
00:24:40,555 --> 00:24:42,182
Honestly, it's my legs.
553
00:24:42,223 --> 00:24:46,021
I think I've broken a piece of them.
554
00:24:46,059 --> 00:24:48,186
Yes.
555
00:24:48,227 --> 00:24:49,353
No, there's nothing
556
00:24:49,395 --> 00:24:50,486
going on in the background.
557
00:24:50,529 --> 00:24:52,929
Okay.
558
00:24:55,032 --> 00:24:56,999
Yes. I'll be in first thing.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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