1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:03,402 Just here is good, Murray. - Yeah, just here. 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,005 We're a block away. I'll take you right to the door. Don't be silly. 3 00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:08,107 - Just here! - I don't even want to go nightclubbing. 4 00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,375 You've got to go nightclubbing, Bret. 5 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,210 Look at Jemaine. He wants to nightclub. 6 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,612 Can we watch a video instead? 7 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,146 Yeah, I want to go home and have a sleep. 8 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,249 - Just here is good. - You're not getting out of it again. 9 00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:19,051 - Keep going. - Here we go. I just want you to go inside. 10 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:22,021 Listen to the music they play. It's called dancing music. 11 00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:24,023 - Keep going. Just keep going, Murray. - Keep going. 12 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:26,459 - Keep driving. - Look, there's David. 13 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,394 - Dave! - What? 14 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:31,430 - Hold on, I'm coming back. What's up? - Hey, man. 15 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,599 Hi, David. Can you look after these two, please? 16 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,302 - Sure thing, Murray. - Make sure they have a cocktail each, okay? 17 00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:38,871 Here's $20. I don't trust it with them. 18 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:41,207 Last time I gave them $20 they went away and spent it. 19 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,142 Bought a magazine and a giant beach ball. 20 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:46,245 - You can count on me, Murray. - Make sure they don't run away, okay? 21 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,182 - Right. Out you get, guys. - We might not get in, Murray. 22 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,584 - Not cool enough. - You two? 23 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,687 - Yes, we're not that cool. - Yeah, everyone looks pretty cool. 24 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,255 - Hang on. - They're cooler than us. 25 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,191 Excuse me, sir. Hi. 26 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,194 I've got a couple of very cool looking guys in the back of my car. 27 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,130 I don't know whether you're keen to have them in your club. 28 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,632 He's not coming in. 29 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,002 Right, good. Off you go. 30 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:13,072 I'll wait in the car here till you're finished nightclubbing, okay? 31 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,708 Good luck, guys. 32 00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:52,345 Hey, guys, too many dicks. 33 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,746 What? 34 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,915 - Too many dicks. - What's that, man? 35 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,350 - How many? - Too many. 36 00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,186 You guys are dorking up my vibe with all the dicks. 37 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,922 We need to spread the dicks out a little bit, 38 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,591 create some lady space. Come on, move apart, guys. 39 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,959 Spread 'em out. 40 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,262 This isn't the riverdance anymore. 41 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,596 Over there now. 42 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,099 There's too many dicks on the dance floor. 43 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,135 ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor ¶ 44 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:20,206 - ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor ¶ - ¶ too many dicks ¶ 45 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,543 - ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor ¶ - ¶ too many dicks ¶ 46 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:27,313 - ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor ¶ - ¶ too many dicks ¶ 47 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:30,116 ¶ going to the party, sipping on bacardi ¶ 48 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,653 ¶ want to meet a hottie, but there's Adam, Steve and Marty ¶ 49 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:37,256 ¶ there's Billy, todd and Tommy, they're on leave from the army ¶ 50 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:40,626 ¶ the only boobs I see tonight will beade of origami ¶ 51 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,528 ¶ tell the fellas, make it understood ¶ 52 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,197 ¶ it ain't no good if there's too much wood ¶ 53 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:47,166 ¶ make sure you know before you go, the bro-to-ho ratio ¶ 54 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,670 ¶ five to one is a brodeo, tell Steve and Mark it's time to go ¶ 55 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:54,140 ¶ wait outside all night to find 20 dudes in a conga line ¶ 56 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,977 - ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor ¶ - ¶ easy to fix ¶ 57 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,147 - ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor ¶ - ¶ spread out the dicks ¶ 58 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,849 ¶ too many dudes with too many dicks ¶ 59 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,383 ¶ too close to my shit, too hard to meet chicks ¶ 60 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,419 ¶ I need better odds, more broads, less rods ¶ 61 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,421 ¶ I came to do battle, skedaddle with the cattle prods ¶ 62 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:11,023 ¶ too many men, too many boys, too many misters, noenough sisters ¶ 63 00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,992 ¶ too much time on too many hands ¶ 64 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,228 ¶ not enough ladies, too many men ¶ 65 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,206 ¶ too many dicks, too many dongs ¶ 66 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,841 ¶ too many schlongs as I sing this song. ¶ 67 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,016 hello. Bret speaking. 68 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,518 Bret, it's Jemaine speaking. 69 00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,887 Hey, man. Where are you? Did you run away? 70 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,622 No, I went home with a girl. 71 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,457 What? 72 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,593 Bret, I think she might be Australian. 73 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,361 Are you sure she's Australian? 74 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:58,331 Either she's Australian or she really likes Australia. 75 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,267 Oh, you've got to get out of there. Just get out of there. 76 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,836 I'm... I'm... I'm locked in. She's trapped me. 77 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,438 I'm not surprised. 78 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,107 Okay, um, keep calm. 79 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,642 Jump out the window. 80 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,143 Good idea. 81 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,448 Oh, it's too high. 82 00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,084 Okay, well, do one of those dive rolls when you land. 83 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,785 Okay, I'll try. 84 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,021 G'day. 85 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,124 Oh, hey. 86 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,026 Jesus, got a tongue like a badger's asshole. 87 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,594 What you doing there, big j? 88 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,596 Um, just talking to a friend of mine. 89 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,732 - Hey. - Don't talk to her. She's definitely Australian. 90 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,467 I'm not sure I got your name. 91 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,835 Keitha. 92 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,705 - Pardon? - Keitha. 93 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,407 Keitha? 94 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,743 Yeah, it's like Keith but with an "a" at the end. 95 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,478 I was named after me dad. 96 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,146 She's got a man's name. 97 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,414 Keitha, that's a lovely name. 98 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,916 So how about we go back to bed? 99 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,985 - Um... - definitely don't do that. 100 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,521 No, I can't. 101 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,658 - Oh. - Would you be able to unlock the door? 102 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,129 Thanks for coming. 103 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,565 - How do you feel? - Fine. 104 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,166 Just ashamed. 105 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,768 How could you not know she was Australian? 106 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,037 I don't know. It was loud in the nightclub. 107 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,739 - Does she look australiany? - Not particularly, no. 108 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:17,610 I mean the face, I suppose, but not bodily, not at all. 109 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,712 Does she sound Australian? Australian accent? 110 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,614 Yes. Yes. 111 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,282 What did it sound like? 112 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,518 Kind of like an evil version of our accent. 113 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,020 - Did she mock your accent? - Not that I remember. 114 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,790 She may have subtly mocked your accent and you didn't notice. 115 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,559 She may have subtly been mocking me. 116 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,863 Did you use protection? 117 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,467 Yes, but only on my penis. 118 00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:44,370 - What's that? - What? What? 119 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,773 - What's that red Mark on your lip? - What? Where? 120 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,575 That's all red. 121 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,177 - That's lipstick. - It's crabs. 122 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,346 - It's not crabs. - It's crabs. 123 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,448 It's lipstick. Iook, that's not... 124 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,383 it's not crabs. 125 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,885 Got your wallet? She didn't steal your wallet? 126 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,386 No, I've actually got my wallet. 127 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,188 She probably tried to steal your wallet. 128 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,790 Don't touch anything. 129 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,162 Well, good news. Your biscuits arrived. 130 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,664 Eh? 131 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,133 They've been approved from the wellington office. 132 00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:17,436 - From the government? - Yup. There we go. 133 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,971 Oh, great. 134 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,641 - Ginger nuts. - Oh, nice. 135 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,276 I got a rejected form. 136 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,611 Oh, Jemaine, rejected. Let's have a look. 137 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,613 "Did not fill out the form correctly. 138 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,248 Purpose for the biscuits..." 139 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,350 you put "NA." What is "NA"? 140 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,152 Not applicable. 141 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,655 - There's no purpose for your biscuits? - No, I just wanted them. 142 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,457 Well, they're hardly gonna send you biscuits if there's no purpose. 143 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,526 Think about it. Fill out your forms properly. 144 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,628 Well, I probably would have eaten them, I suppose. 145 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,197 What did you put on your form? 146 00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:45,865 I think I put I was gonna eat them. 147 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:49,035 There you go. Okay, simple as that. 148 00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,870 Tell you what, you could probably have... 149 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,639 Bret, could he have one of yours until I get this sorted? 150 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,175 Would that be all right? 151 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,813 That's the boy. That's good. Nice. 152 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,582 Right, let's move on. 153 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:05,451 Next, nightclubbing experiences. 154 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,787 Anything to report back? 155 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,789 - Nothing? - Uh... 156 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,158 did you dance? 157 00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,961 I didn't want to go to the nightclub, Murray. 158 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,630 What's happened? 159 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,332 - Nothing. - Bret? 160 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,033 Something happened to Jemaine? 161 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,569 - Jemaine slept with an Australian. - What?! 162 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,338 - Bret. - Jemaine slept with an Australian. 163 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,674 No, I heard you. I said "what" as in I heard you 164 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,810 but I can't believe what I'm hearing. 165 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,311 Is this true, Jemaine? 166 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,413 - Shh. - I know, shh. 167 00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:37,183 - This is true. - Yeah? Really? 168 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,318 I accidently slept with an Australian. 169 00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,420 How do you accidently sleep with one? 170 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,489 What, did she get you naked and you tripped over and fell on her? 171 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,892 - Is that what happened? - No, it wasn't exactly like that. 172 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,694 - Look, close the door, please, Bret. - Close the door, Bret. 173 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,097 - I didn't... - I don't want to hear it, okay? 174 00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,865 I'm talking to Bret now. 175 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:56,135 Jemaine, don't listen. Turn away. 176 00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:59,205 Bret, come in a bit. 177 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,874 Do you think he's listening? Let's test it. 178 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,442 Jemaine's a good-looking guy, isn't he? 179 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,879 - There he goes. - Yeah, he's listening. 180 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,248 Right, now this is serious. Maybe we should 181 00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,184 banish him, you know, from the group. 182 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,452 Cast him off, you know? 183 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,455 Never speak of him again, just for a couple of days. 184 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,191 - That seems a bit full-on. - Does it? 185 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,459 It does, doesn't it? Lock him up. 186 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,296 Just lock him up. Don't listen. 187 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,731 - What did you hear? - Nothing. 188 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,203 Okay, let's get back into the group. 189 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,339 Okay, come back, Jemaine. Thank you. 190 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,709 We can't come to a decision as to what to do. 191 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,078 Um... 192 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,715 now this girl, did she make fun of you? 193 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,318 We think she might have slightly mocked his accent. 194 00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,720 She may have mocked my accent subtly. 195 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,556 I bet she did. They're tricky. 196 00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,758 You know, guys, in the old days 197 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,627 the sailors used to fall for them. 198 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,495 Yeah, they hadn't seen a woman for weeks 199 00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:59,832 and the australians would lure them to the bottom of the sea and they'd drown. 200 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,968 - Oh, that's mermaids. - That's mermaids you're thinking of. 201 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,269 - Is it? - That's not australians. 202 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:06,005 Yeah, but the Australian ones were the worst. 203 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,840 That's what I'm trying to say. 204 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,342 If you're into those sorts of things, 205 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,743 watch out for the Australian ones. 206 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,212 She didn't seem that bad, you know? 207 00:10:13,247 --> 00:10:15,281 - Eh? - Jemaine. 208 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,351 - Do you have feelings for this girl? - No. 209 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,453 Only negative ones. 210 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:23,456 Good. Have you got your wallet? 211 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,292 - Yes, I've got my wallet. - Good. 212 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,931 - Oh, hi, big j. - Hi, keitha. Do you have my wallet? 213 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,100 Yeah. Yeah, I've got it right here. 214 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:41,874 - Thank you. - So you gonna come in for a cuppa or what? 215 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,776 Oh, come on, you big mung. 216 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,394 Milk? 217 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,162 Um, yes please. 218 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,365 - Say when. - When. 219 00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,438 Thank you. 220 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,275 Mmm, delicious tea. 221 00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:18,578 Thanks. It's me mom's recipe. 222 00:11:18,579 --> 00:11:20,913 Oh, is your mom Australian? 223 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,782 Yeah yeah, she's a panel beater. 224 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,651 What about your dad? You said he's an Australian still? 225 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,354 Yeah yeah, me dad's so Australian he's in prison. 226 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,157 Mmm, what about his father? Was he Australian? 227 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,625 - My grandpa? - Yeah. 228 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,293 Yeah. Yeah. 229 00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,629 What about your mom's mother? Was she an immigrant? 230 00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:41,267 Listen, big j, you couldn't get more Australian than me. 231 00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:43,603 My great-great-grandpa was a renown rapist. 232 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,205 And they shipped him out to Australia 233 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,242 and that's where he met my great-great-grandma. 234 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:52,345 She was a prostitute. I mean, I said met, but he raped her. 235 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,615 Hmm. Do you think there's any chance you were adopted? 236 00:11:55,649 --> 00:11:59,085 Look, big j. You got two options. 237 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,754 Sit around here asking me stupid questions, 238 00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:04,757 get in that bedroom and root me again. 239 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,560 They're both good options. 240 00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:14,367 ¶ do australians feel love? ¶ 241 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,271 ¶ are they capable of love? ¶ 242 00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:21,941 ¶ do they even know what we're speaking of? ¶ 243 00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:28,147 Bret. Bret. 244 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,083 Bret! Bret. 245 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,252 What? 246 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,721 Can I ask you a hypothetical question? 247 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,423 Can it wait till the morning? 248 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,592 I suppose so. 249 00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:46,866 Bret. Bret. 250 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,569 Bret. Bret. 251 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,605 - Bret. - What's the question you want to ask me? 252 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,341 What would you think if I did do out with that... 253 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,077 - Australian? - Eh? 254 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,447 I'm just saying that if you were to go out with an Australian... 255 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,850 well, I would never go out with an Australian. 256 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,586 If you were to, I would be fine with it. 257 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,588 I mean, when I first met you, you tried to have me deported 258 00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,356 from new zealand 'cause you thought I was an Australian. 259 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,658 That was a misunderstanding. You were wearing a vest top. 260 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:16,195 A my mom gave me that. She thought it made me look like bruce willis. 261 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,531 Well, it didn't. It made you look like an Australian. 262 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,867 You can't go out with that girl. 263 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:24,504 Hey, she'd never be my girlfriend. 264 00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,641 Murray, Bret, 265 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,477 this is my girlfriend keitha. 266 00:13:31,512 --> 00:13:34,146 - What are you doing, Jemaine? - What is that you're wearing? 267 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,748 - What are you wearing? - Where'd you get that? 268 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:38,885 Hi, guys. You can call me Keith, by the way. 269 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,820 - That's a man's name. - It's a female name. 270 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,054 It's got an "a" on the end. 271 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,423 Got quite the accent, don't you, kevina? 272 00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:46,959 Yeah, I've got a real aussie accent. 273 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:50,329 Except it's not as strong as it used to be since I've lived here, 274 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,398 'cause every time I'm on the phone with my mom 275 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,267 she says I sound like marilyn monroe. 276 00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:57,236 - Did you catch that? - What are you deaf? Marilyn monroe. 277 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,071 - Oh, marilyn monroe. - Yeah. 278 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,474 - What about her? - I talk like her now. 279 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,743 - She sounds like her. - She does sound a bit like her. 280 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,444 Yeah, I suppose if you squint your ears. 281 00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:07,413 Told ya. 282 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,449 Keitha, do you mind not listening for a moment, please? 283 00:14:10,484 --> 00:14:12,451 Jemaine, come in a bit. 284 00:14:12,486 --> 00:14:14,220 What did you bring her here for? 285 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,255 Don't talk about her. She's right there. 286 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:19,158 - She's not listening, is she? - She's so close... 287 00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:20,693 you know what? I'm gonna go to the dunny. 288 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:23,396 - Got to murder a Brown snake, you know - oh my God. 289 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:26,032 Muzza, Bret, sweetcocks. 290 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,434 Jemaine, you can't be serious about this. 291 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,837 - I am serious. - Have you thought about your future? 292 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,272 - No, it's not gonna work, man. - What do you mean? 293 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,675 And your children, what about them? What would become of them? 294 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,777 They'll be aberrations, won't they? 295 00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:39,412 It's pronounced aborigines. 296 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:43,049 Well, think of them. They'll be neither here nor there, 297 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,786 forced to move from city to city looking for the perfect wave. 298 00:14:46,787 --> 00:14:49,722 - What are you gonna tell your mom? - I won't tell my mom. 299 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:53,626 - What about Christmas, eh? - She can't come to Christmas. 300 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,228 She's gonna ridicule us at Christmas. 301 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,996 Maybe I will go to her house for Christmas. 302 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,131 - I don't have to do everything you say. - Keep your voice down. 303 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,267 - Sorry. - And sit up straight. You're slouching terribly. 304 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,969 No, don't stand up, just sit up. 305 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,837 Let's go before we get ridiculed. 306 00:15:04,872 --> 00:15:08,107 She's probably in the toilet thinking of something to bring me down with. 307 00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,343 Come on. 308 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,713 See you later, big j. 309 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,848 Let's go, little b. 310 00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:18,985 - Okay, little m. - Medium m. 311 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:28,761 Jemaine, did you listen to the answer phone message? 312 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,897 I think there may be an answer phone message 313 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,632 for you on the answer phone. 314 00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:35,234 Yes, Bret, I listened to the answer phone message. 315 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,703 Oh, good news? Bad news? 316 00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:40,239 Uh, it's you putting on a woman's voice 317 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:43,075 pretending to be keitha breaking up with me. 318 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,144 - Don't think so. - It's clearly you, Bret. 319 00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:47,680 - I don't think so. - It's obviously you putting on a woman's voice. 320 00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:49,382 Listen. 321 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,417 - G'day, big j. - That's the one. 322 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,853 It's keitha here. I've got some bad news. 323 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,455 - It's keitha. - I'm moving back to wollongong. 324 00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:58,157 - She's not from wollongong. - Shh. 325 00:15:58,192 --> 00:16:00,092 - She's from wollamaloo. - It was nice going out with you. 326 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,562 - Shh. - But I'm never gonna see you again. Bye. 327 00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:05,364 - Oh no. - And I'm married. 328 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,968 - Who's on the phone, love? - That's her husband. 329 00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,737 Uh, nobody. I've got to go. 330 00:16:11,772 --> 00:16:14,240 Oh, that's terrible. 331 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:17,009 Jemaine, that's terrible. 332 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,111 That's just... 333 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,746 I'm going, Bret. 334 00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:23,282 Jemaine, did I show you my gloves that look like my hands? 335 00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:25,218 Get off. Get off. 336 00:16:25,219 --> 00:16:28,221 Let go of my glove. Ow, that's actually my hand. 337 00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,756 - That's actually my hand. - I'm going. 338 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,899 Yeah? 339 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,834 - I need to see keitha. - Who? 340 00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:44,003 Keitha. Keitha. 341 00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,806 Keitha. Keith with an "a" at the end. 342 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,608 No, you can't see her. 343 00:16:48,642 --> 00:16:51,744 W- well, I need to see her. 344 00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:53,613 Well, you can't 'cause she's moved back to Australia. 345 00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:55,748 - What's going on, kels? - What? 346 00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:57,683 Dr. Spectacles here is looking for keitha. 347 00:16:57,718 --> 00:16:59,752 Oh, she's gone, mate. She said you were a prick 348 00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:01,787 and then she got on the bus back to Australia for good. 349 00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:03,890 I don't believe you. That's her sweatshirt. 350 00:17:03,924 --> 00:17:06,993 She doesn't need a sweatshirt in Australia. It's hot. 351 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,294 Well, I can see her, actually. 352 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,463 - , mate. She's gone back to oz. - No, mate. 353 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,031 She's there. She's right there. 354 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,900 You don't need to really keep going, do you? 355 00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,435 No, mate, she's gone. She's in Australia like we said. 356 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,804 - Hey. - Hi, big j. 357 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,607 - Hi, keitha. - Bye. 358 00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:23,576 Bye. 359 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,211 Kelli bye, have fun. 360 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:28,014 Keitha, my friends think our love can never be. 361 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,348 Can never be what? 362 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,083 Well, you know, can never be. 363 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,452 Oh, well, my mates think that too. 364 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,289 Because I'm a new zealander and you're an Australian 365 00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:38,724 and they don't think we can be together? 366 00:17:38,759 --> 00:17:40,593 No, mostly it's 'cause they think you're a dick. 367 00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:42,261 You know, with the dickish glasses and that. 368 00:17:42,296 --> 00:17:44,830 No, it's mainly because they think 369 00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:46,532 our races shouldn't mix. 370 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:49,335 No, mostly it's 'cause they think I've rooted better-looking fellas 371 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,504 when I've been too drunk to speak. 372 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,472 Is that how you feel? 373 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:56,442 50-50. I kinda like you. 374 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,312 I kinda like you too. 375 00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,153 ¶ Loretta broke my heart in a letter ¶ 376 00:18:07,221 --> 00:18:10,189 ¶ she told me she was leaving and her life would be better ¶ 377 00:18:10,224 --> 00:18:13,659 ¶ Joan, broke it off over the phone ¶ 378 00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:16,996 ¶ after the tone she left me alone ¶ 379 00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,966 ¶ Jen said she'd never ever see me again ¶ 380 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,835 ¶ when I saw her again she said it again ¶ 381 00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:26,706 ¶ jan met another man ¶ 382 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:30,042 ¶ liza got amnesia, just forgot who I am ¶ 383 00:18:30,077 --> 00:18:33,079 ¶ felicity saw there was no electricity ¶ 384 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:36,415 ¶ Emily, no chemistry ¶ 385 00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:39,619 ¶ fran ran, turned out to be a man ¶ 386 00:18:39,653 --> 00:18:42,922 ¶ flo had to go, I couldn't go with the flow ¶ 387 00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:46,792 ¶ carol Brown just took a bus out of town ¶ 388 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,130 ¶ but I'm hoping that you'll stick around ¶ 389 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,467 ¶ he doesn't cook or clean ¶ 390 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,936 ¶ he's not good boyfriend material ¶ 391 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,105 ¶ oo-whee and eats cereal ¶ 392 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:01,174 ¶ you'll lose interest fast ¶ 393 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,409 ¶ his relationships never last ¶ 394 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,211 ¶ shut up, girlfriends from the past ¶ 395 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,780 ¶ she says he'll do one thing ¶ 396 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,216 ¶ and then he goes and does another thing ¶ 397 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:14,053 ¶ oh, who organized all of my ex-girlfriends ¶ 398 00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:17,456 ¶ into a choir and got them to sing? ¶ 399 00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:21,360 ¶ who? Who? ¶ 400 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,664 ¶ mmm, shut up ¶ 401 00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,404 ¶ shut up, girlfriends from the past ¶ 402 00:19:36,777 --> 00:19:39,745 ¶ may, may will no longer see m¶ 403 00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:42,582 ¶ britney, britney hit me ¶ 404 00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:46,452 ¶ Paula, persephone, stella and stephanie ¶ 405 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,455 ¶ there must be 50 ways that lovers have left me ¶ 406 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:53,526 ¶ carol Brown just took a bus out of town ¶ 407 00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:58,264 ¶ love is a delicate thing ¶ 408 00:19:58,332 --> 00:20:00,066 ¶ it could just float away on the breeze ¶ 409 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,668 ¶ he said the same thing to me ¶ 410 00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,704 ¶ how can we ever know ¶ 411 00:20:04,738 --> 00:20:06,639 ¶ we've found the right person in this world? ¶ 412 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,141 ¶ he means he looks at other girls ¶ 413 00:20:09,176 --> 00:20:10,977 ¶ love is a mystery ¶ 414 00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:13,579 ¶ it does not follow a rule ¶ 415 00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,515 ¶ this guy is a fool ¶ 416 00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:17,750 ¶ he'll always be a boy ¶ 417 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,585 ¶ he's a man who never grew up ¶ 418 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,954 ¶ I thought I told you to shut up ¶ 419 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,393 ¶ lola, you told me you were in a coma ¶ 420 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:34,200 ¶ tiffany, you said that you had an epiphany ¶ 421 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:40,840 ¶ mmm, would you like a little cereal? ¶ 422 00:20:40,874 --> 00:20:43,242 ¶ who organized this choir of ex-girlfriends? ¶ 423 00:20:43,277 --> 00:20:46,913 ¶ was it you, carol Brown? Was it you, carol Brown? ¶ 424 00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:51,684 ¶ carol Brown just took a bus out of town ¶ 425 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,789 ¶ but I'm hoping that you'll stick around ¶ 426 00:20:58,225 --> 00:21:01,460 - ¶ stick around ¶ - ¶ do do do do do do ¶ 427 00:21:01,495 --> 00:21:04,664 - ¶ stick around ¶ - ¶ do do do do do do ¶ 428 00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,800 ¶ do do do do do do ¶ 429 00:21:07,868 --> 00:21:09,068 ¶ just stick around ¶ 430 00:21:09,136 --> 00:21:11,170 ¶ do do do do do do ¶ 431 00:21:11,205 --> 00:21:12,772 ¶ just stick around. ¶ 432 00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:15,007 - hey, Dave. - Oh, hey, guys. 433 00:21:15,042 --> 00:21:17,610 - You seen Jemaine? - Wait a second. 434 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:18,845 Which one are you? 435 00:21:18,846 --> 00:21:20,179 - This is Bret. - Bret. 436 00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,415 - Okay. - Yeah, not looking for me. 437 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:23,850 No, I haven't seen him. 438 00:21:26,186 --> 00:21:28,087 Well, we're looking for him. 439 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:31,023 He's missing, all right, David? We're looking for him. 440 00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:32,758 If you find him can you tell him that we're looking for him? 441 00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:35,494 - All right. - Thank you. Keep looking. 442 00:21:35,529 --> 00:21:37,396 Yeah, if you see him or his girlfriend... 443 00:21:37,431 --> 00:21:39,799 - or start looking. ...let us know. 444 00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:41,501 - I mean, keep looking. - Got it. 445 00:21:41,535 --> 00:21:43,135 - Thank you. - Forget about it. 446 00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:45,705 See you, Murray. See you, Jemaine. 447 00:21:45,706 --> 00:21:48,274 Oh, Bret, he said Jemaine. 448 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:50,543 They're gone. 449 00:21:50,544 --> 00:21:52,411 - Thank you, Dave. - Don't worry about it, guys. 450 00:21:52,446 --> 00:21:54,480 I just think it's really cool that you love each other 451 00:21:54,515 --> 00:21:56,349 even though you're from austria 452 00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,784 and you're from someplace no one's even fucking heard of. 453 00:21:58,819 --> 00:22:00,453 - Australia. - New zealand. 454 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,688 Exactly, because it shouldn't matter 455 00:22:02,723 --> 00:22:04,457 where you're from when love's involved. 456 00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:07,994 It's like that movie, "interracial hole stretchers 2." 457 00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,496 She was white and they were black, 458 00:22:10,531 --> 00:22:12,632 but it didn't matter in the end, did it? 459 00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:14,200 Because they were in love. 460 00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:17,103 I haven't seen that one. 461 00:22:17,137 --> 00:22:18,404 Well, it really affected me. 462 00:22:18,472 --> 00:22:21,474 I better get packed up. I'll see you at 4:00. 463 00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:23,309 I love you, big j. 464 00:22:24,878 --> 00:22:26,679 I love you too. 465 00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:30,316 So you're just gonna elope? Just leave the city and leave the band? 466 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:33,019 Yeah, I'm going to new Jersey. 467 00:22:33,053 --> 00:22:35,087 Wow. New Jersey, huh? 468 00:22:35,155 --> 00:22:37,156 I'd love to go there. 469 00:22:37,191 --> 00:22:41,227 But I got a lot of shit going on in the states right now. 470 00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:45,464 Bye, Dave. 471 00:22:45,499 --> 00:22:46,999 Don't drink the water. 472 00:23:13,026 --> 00:23:15,728 Excuse me. Have you seen an Australian girl around here? 473 00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:17,296 We're eloping to new Jersey. 474 00:23:17,331 --> 00:23:20,900 Sorry, pal. Haven't seen her. 475 00:23:20,934 --> 00:23:22,802 How much is it to new Jersey, by the way? 476 00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:25,805 I don't go to new Jersey. I only ride around the park. 477 00:23:25,806 --> 00:23:27,840 - That's weird. - Yeah. 478 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:31,143 She said she'd done it before. 479 00:23:33,447 --> 00:23:35,448 Oh no. 480 00:23:35,449 --> 00:23:37,517 Oh no. 481 00:23:41,955 --> 00:23:44,490 Take me to Chinatown and do not delay, sir. 482 00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,859 Iook, just around the park. 483 00:23:46,894 --> 00:23:48,427 Ah, yes, you said that. Yes. 484 00:23:48,462 --> 00:23:50,329 Yeah. 485 00:23:50,364 --> 00:23:52,565 Sorry. I'm so sorry. 486 00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:13,920 Jemaine. Where've you been? 487 00:24:15,255 --> 00:24:18,124 Bret, have you seen keitha? 488 00:24:18,158 --> 00:24:19,759 She robbed us. 489 00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:21,994 Her and her friends jumped me and taped me to the door. 490 00:24:22,029 --> 00:24:24,297 Did she mention me at all? 491 00:24:24,331 --> 00:24:26,365 No, sorry, man. 492 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,302 I'm not sure about her and me. 493 00:24:29,336 --> 00:24:31,037 Could you pass me my sandwich, please? 494 00:24:31,038 --> 00:24:33,105 Okay. 495 00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:34,674 Here's your sandwich. 496 00:24:34,675 --> 00:24:37,877 - Would you like a napkin? - No thanks. 497 00:24:37,878 --> 00:24:40,479 - Can I get a hug? - Huh? 498 00:24:40,514 --> 00:24:42,114 Can I get a hug? Hug? 499 00:24:42,149 --> 00:24:44,450 - No. No. - A hug? 500 00:24:48,455 --> 00:24:49,956 Unfair. 501 00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:52,024 I'm not participating in this hug. 502 00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:56,095 Sorry, man. 503 00:24:56,129 --> 00:24:57,930 It'll be okay. 504 00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:17,149 ¶ going to the party, sipping on bacardi ¶ 505 00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:20,553 ¶ want to meet a hottie, but there's Adam, Steve and Marty ¶ 506 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:24,023 ¶ there's Billy, todd and Tommy, they're on leave from the army ¶ 507 00:25:24,057 --> 00:25:27,493 ¶ the only boobs I see tonight will be made of origami ¶ 508 00:25:27,528 --> 00:25:29,295 ¶ tell the fellas, make it understood ¶ 509 00:25:29,329 --> 00:25:31,063 ¶ it ain't no good if there's too much wood ¶ 510 00:25:31,098 --> 00:25:34,400 ¶ make sure you know before you go, the bro-to-ho ratio ¶ 511 00:25:34,401 --> 00:25:37,603 ¶ five to one is a brodeo, tell Steve and Mark it's time to go ¶ 512 00:25:37,638 --> 00:25:41,340 ¶ wait outside all night to find 20 dudes in a conga line ¶ 513 00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:44,911 ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor ¶ 514 00:25:44,945 --> 00:25:48,381 ¶ too many dicks on the dance floor. ¶ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net