1
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,910
- Hi, Murray.
- Hey. I'll say hello in a minute, guys.
2
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:46,079
It looks busy out there.
It's like an office.
3
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:49,015
Guys, I'll have to be quick
today I'm afraid. Here we are.
4
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,084
Band meeting.
Brett, present.
5
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,386
- Jemaine, present. Murray...
- Why didn't you let us say present?
6
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,288
I'm trying to save
time here, Jemaine.
7
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,823
That wouldn't have
saved much time.
8
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:59,125
I can't have time wastage,
all right? I'm stressed out.
9
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,294
- Do you want to know why?
- No.
10
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,929
All right, I'll tell you.
The prime minister
11
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,597
of new zealand is
coming to new York...
12
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:05,932
- Really?
- Yeah?
13
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,667
...and I've been
appointed his aide.
14
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,537
- Oh, wow. Congratulations.
- We might even go to Washington
15
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,539
and meet
the president of America.
16
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,674
Oh, really?
Will the queen be there?
17
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:17,644
No, it's not a big do.
It's just a small party.
18
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:21,681
Actually... greg, has the president
of America returned my call?
19
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,484
- No, Murray.
- Oh, you're there, greg, lurking.
20
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,419
How long have
you been lurking there?
21
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:29,456
Doesn't matter. Can you call
the white house again, please?
22
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,958
- Sure.
- Okay. Dismissed.
23
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,294
Likes to lurk there,
doesn't he?
24
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,696
Oh, I've got you a gig.
25
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,331
- Great.
- Oh, yeah?
26
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:41,234
Here we go. There's some
clothes for you, Jemaine.
27
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:44,537
- Oh, thanks.
- And here's a nice coat for you, Bret.
28
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,674
- Thank you.
- Oh, and also...
29
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,443
here's a wig.
You could wear that.
30
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,413
- A wig? What does Bret need a...
- Yeah. It's for the gig, okay?
31
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,081
- What, a wig for the gig?
- Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,549
- I have to wear this?
- Yeah, that's your one.
33
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,352
The only thing
you'll need is...
34
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,155
are you familiar with the
songs of simon & garfunkel?
35
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:06,159
You've booked us a gig as a
simon & garfunkel tribute act?
36
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,961
- Ah.
- Haven't you?
37
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,396
- You're onto it.
- You're trying to disguise it.
38
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,632
I tried disguise it
as a gift, okay?
39
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,001
- I'll admit it.
- Murray, we don't sing other people's songs.
40
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,836
Oh, I know, Bret,
but here's the thing:
41
00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:18,438
I listened
to some of their songs,
42
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,873
and they're actually better
than your songs.
43
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,808
And this is a great
opportunity to do them.
44
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,843
You do their songs,
you can look like them.
45
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,245
But they've already
done their songs.
46
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,880
Well, it's better
than your last gig.
47
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,581
It was barely
a gig, wasn't it?
48
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,750
We went into a karaoke bar and
you put our names on the list.
49
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,385
- Exactly.
- That's not a gig.
50
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,754
- Yeah, it was. It was a bad gig.
- It's not a gig.
51
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,757
- It wasn't even a gig.
- It's not a bad gig. That's just a karaoke night.
52
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,926
You don't need a manager,
'cause you don't gepaid.
53
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,328
- You just have to put your name on the list.
- Well, we know that now.
54
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,531
We're still in a
learning phase, aren't we?
55
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,299
You've been managing us
for two years.
56
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:49,736
Yeah, I know, but that's the first
time I've been to that karaoke bar.
57
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:53,339
My point is, guys, this gig I'm
giving you now is a legitimate gig.
58
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,842
It's from an agency
that books lookalikes.
59
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,911
Well, we don't look
like simon & garfunkel.
60
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:01,448
Well, here's the thing... the actual
lookalikes don't look anything alike,
61
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,184
and they don't look like the guys
they're supposed to look like,
62
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,820
and they're busy.
So I went in there
63
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,655
and you know what? You
look just like they do.
64
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,224
So we look like some simon
& garfunkel lookalikes
65
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,426
who don't look like
simon & garfunkel?
66
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,829
That's right.
What a blessing.
67
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,131
- So, you happy to do it?
- No, clearly not.
68
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:21,601
- No, we're not doing it.
- Okay. Well, I'll have to put that $50 back then.
69
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,670
- $50?
- $50 each.
70
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:28,641
¶ have her make me
a cambric shirt ¶
71
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,877
¶ I need a shirt ¶
72
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:35,615
¶ parsley, sage,
rosemary and thyme ¶
73
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,817
¶ and thyme ¶
74
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:43,389
¶ without a seam
nor fine needle... ¶
75
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,760
look at that, man.
They've got apples.
76
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:52,198
- Oh, really?
- Guys. Bloody brilliant, all right?
77
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:55,235
- Thanks, elton.
- It's so good to see someone else up there
78
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,937
just... like me, just kind
of doing my thing, you know?
79
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,672
You're doing elton John's
thing really, though.
80
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,809
I'm doing my thing which is
doing elton John's thing.
81
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,345
- Oh yeah? What's he doing then?
- He's doing his thing.
82
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,846
- His thing, which is the same thing.
- I'm doing... I...
83
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,982
my thing, though,
is to do elton John's thing
84
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,984
which is why I said
I'm doing my thing...
85
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,119
- doesn't he go into the thi...
- Maybe you didn't hear the first thing I said.
86
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,789
Whatever, but...
all right, look.
87
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,223
Right there.
88
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,893
They booked another elton
John act same night as me,
89
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,463
dressed exactly like me...
1973 "honky chateau" outfit.
90
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,799
There is a guy who is
not doing his own thing.
91
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,268
There's a guy who doesn't have a
single original idea in his head.
92
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,537
- He's dressed... he's doing elton John's thing.
- He looks like you.
93
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,373
- Yeah. No, he's doing my thing when I'm doing...
- Hey, John.
94
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,876
Oh, hold me closer,
tiny dancer.
95
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,611
- Hello.
- Did you see elton #2?
96
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,681
Oh, eh, yes.
Well, let me introduce you
97
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,550
to two very talented
young men.
98
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,453
This is parsley
and this is sage.
99
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,121
- Hello, sage.
- Hi.
100
00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:50,657
They filled in for the
guys from troubled waters.
101
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,859
One of them had
a bladder infection.
102
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,128
Oh, that's too bad.
103
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,363
You were wonderful.
104
00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:59,032
I feel honored
to meet you.
105
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,668
- Oh.
- Ooh.
106
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,570
Can you feel
some love tonight?
107
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,072
Hey, want to see a guy who
looks just like Bono from U2?
108
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,308
- Oh yeah yeah?
- Yeah, but real muscular. Come here.
109
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,210
Cool.
110
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,712
- You look great.
- Oh.
111
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,614
I usually look
better than this.
112
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:18,084
- I like your height.
- I'm usually this height.
113
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,320
Do you like
bubble baths?
114
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,256
Sorry, I'm getting
ahead of myself.
115
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,425
Would you like to go to
dinner with me tomorrow night?
116
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,927
Uh, I'll just see
if I'm available. Yes.
117
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,997
Bret, this girl
asked me out.
118
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,571
- Oh, the prime minis...
- shh shh.
119
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:42,075
- The prime minister.
- Yes, he's terribly jet-lagged.
120
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,677
He thinks it's tomorrow.
Don't wake him.
121
00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,479
Hey, can you take
a photo of me with him?
122
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,815
Yeah, okay.
Get in, Bret.
123
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:51,284
- Can you move just...
- He's waking up. Get out. Go on, go.
124
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,286
- Ah.
- He's seen you. Come back, he's seen you.
125
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:56,890
Sorry about that, Murray.
Dropped off there. Bloody jet lag.
126
00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:00,393
- What day is it, yesterday?
- No, it's today, sir.
127
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,195
Oh, yes.
Of course it is.
128
00:06:02,263 --> 00:06:04,731
Oh, well, let me introduce
you, prime minister.
129
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,199
These are two
of the leading lights
130
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,501
of the new zealand/new York
artistic community.
131
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,104
Oh, yeah?
Artists, are you?
132
00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:14,107
Good on you. What sort
of thing do you paint?
133
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,543
- Nudes?
- No, we're a band, your honor.
134
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,945
Well, I'm Brian, the prime
minister of new zealand.
135
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,914
- Yes, we know that.
- It's very nice to meet you, my lord.
136
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:24,384
You're gonna have to excuse me. I'm just
a bit jetlagged. Christ, what a flight.
137
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,619
I watched a couple of films
on the way over though,
138
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,621
but my screen broke
halfway through "cars."
139
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:32,125
Have you seen the film "cars," Murray?
Do you know what happens at the end?
140
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,561
Let me just...
greg, the prime minister
141
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,330
wants to know what happens at
the end of the movie "cars."
142
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:40,233
- Okay.
- Specifically, I'd like to know
143
00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:43,169
what happens between the
main car and the girl car.
144
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:46,806
The prime minister
wants to know
145
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,342
specifically between the
main car and the girl car...
146
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,612
- do they get together at the end?
- Yes, I believe they do.
147
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:57,050
- Oh. They do get together.
- Good. It was touch and go there for a while.
148
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,686
- Thank you for that, Murray. That was well done.
- That's all right.
149
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,122
That's the sort of thing we
should be doing in new zealand.
150
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,023
- I'll make a note of it, prime minister.
- Yeah, do make a note of that.
151
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:07,293
"Talking cars." I'll put you down
as one of the creators, though,
152
00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:09,696
- 'cause you came up with this concept here.
- I think so. Yeah.
153
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,031
- Put me down as a creator.
- Okay. Do you mind
154
00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:14,067
if I put my name on there as
well, prime minister? Just as...
155
00:07:14,135 --> 00:07:17,871
- put it down "Murray,
co-creator." - Oh, thanks very much.
156
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,839
Okay, well, we'll be
seeing you around, guys.
157
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,309
Oh, did Murray tell you I'm meeting
the president? When is that, Murray?
158
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,179
Uh, well, I'm still sort of
ironing out the finer details,
159
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:29,949
but at the moment it's
scheduled in for this Friday.
160
00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:31,718
What have I got booked
until then, Murray?
161
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,354
Well, I thought you could
go on a guided tour
162
00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:36,556
of the cultural sights
of new York city.
163
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,558
Perhaps these two guys
could guide you.
164
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,794
Oh, great.
Good on you.
165
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,396
I'll look forward
to it. Oh, well.
166
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:49,102
- What a great man.
- Murray, you should be taking him on the tour of new York.
167
00:07:49,170 --> 00:07:51,538
I'm sorry, guys, okay?
I'm in real trouble here,
168
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,706
all right? I haven't organized
the meeting with the president
169
00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,141
and the prime minister
doesn't know.
170
00:07:55,176 --> 00:07:57,477
But, Murray, we can't take
the prime minister around.
171
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,079
- We don't know how to do that.
- Yes, you can. It's easy.
172
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,414
- Doesn't he need a bodyguard?
- He's the prime minister.
173
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,383
- A bodyguard?
- Yeah.
174
00:08:03,451 --> 00:08:05,618
- Well, there you go... Bret.
What, me?
175
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,886
Yeah, you can
offer protection.
176
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:08,421
Well, is there
a new zealand government gun?
177
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,623
Yeah, but the army's
got that.
178
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,259
You could just pretend
you've got a gun,
179
00:08:13,294 --> 00:08:15,795
so just put your hand
in your jacket like that.
180
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:19,632
- Don't move.
- Don't pull that out, 'cause that's obviously not a gun.
181
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:23,303
- Oh, yeah yeah.
- When you pull it out, just go "it's still in there."
182
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,472
- Okay?
- Okay, all right.
183
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,874
Anything else?
184
00:08:31,412 --> 00:08:32,979
Hello, is that warrick?
185
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:35,014
Is that warrick?
Yeah, hi, it's Brian.
186
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,950
These are...
these are FBI style.
187
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,853
These have actually been worn
by the FBI on several occasions.
188
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,622
How's the country going?
No, seriously, how's it going?
189
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,625
- Who is that guy?
- He's the prime minister of new zealand.
190
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:48,528
- What language is he talking?
- English.
191
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,331
Yeah, now look,
how's the environment going?
192
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:54,134
- Well, can we clean it up a bit?
- Yeah, maybe.
193
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,703
Well, I don't know. Just get
some of your cousins together
194
00:08:56,771 --> 00:08:58,104
and just clean
it up a bit.
195
00:08:58,139 --> 00:09:00,540
Dave, I'm going on a date
with a woman tonight.
196
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:04,210
- Gonna bang her?
- She didn't mention that. She mentioned dinner.
197
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:07,380
Oh. Well, let me know
how it goes.
198
00:09:07,448 --> 00:09:09,649
- Okay.
- I thought so.
199
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,152
Hey, where'd you get
"the matrix"?
200
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,053
This has just come out
in new zealand.
201
00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:17,891
Hello. Yes.
202
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,460
Could I please speak
to the president, please?
203
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:22,262
How do you know
I called before?
204
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,231
Oh, right, the number came
up. Well, yes. Yes, it is me,
205
00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:28,101
um, but this time I've got
my prime minister here.
206
00:09:28,169 --> 00:09:30,136
He wasn't here before,
but he's actually here now
207
00:09:30,171 --> 00:09:32,272
and it's really become
an urgent matter
208
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,541
that I organize
the two great men to meet.
209
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,543
He's come all the way
from new zealand.
210
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,344
New zealand.
211
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,281
It is a country!
Yes, it is!
212
00:09:41,382 --> 00:09:43,249
All right.
Thank you.
213
00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:44,918
I'm busy as well.
I'm gonna go.
214
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,619
I'm going to have to
call you back, actually.
215
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:49,055
Thank you.
216
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,662
I mean, how do we know
that we're actually here
217
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,664
in America and not part of the matrix?
218
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,100
I mean, everything
in your experience...
219
00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:04,170
are we really here or are we
just part of a giant battery?
220
00:10:04,205 --> 00:10:07,040
I don't really believe
in the matrix, your honor.
221
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,609
- No, neither do I.
- No, I don't believe in it either.
222
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:12,879
- No, of course not.
- It's just an interesting idea that is open for discussion.
223
00:10:12,947 --> 00:10:15,949
- I believe in the matrix, your majesty.
- I knew it. So do I.
224
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,852
You know why, Dave?
Have you ever had deja vu?
225
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,888
All the time. You know
what that is, don't you?
226
00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:24,224
Glitch in the matrix.
227
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,059
Fuckin' a.
228
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:32,232
So, sage, are you the hugest
simon & garfunkel fan or what?
229
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,567
Uh, yeah, I like
some of their songs,
230
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,737
like the one
about the fair, and...
231
00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,472
"scarborough fair"-
parenthesis-"canticle."
232
00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:40,807
Yeah, is that the one
with the shopping list...
233
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:43,476
one guy has a shopping list
for another guy
234
00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:45,545
with some herbs
and spices...
235
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:47,580
parsley, sage,
rosemary and thyme?
236
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,583
- Yes. Actually...
- Excuse me, ma'am. There's a phonecall for you.
237
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,652
Really?
Be right back.
238
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:58,324
Jemaine. Jemaine.
239
00:10:58,359 --> 00:11:00,360
Mel, what are you doing?
How did you get there?
240
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,696
Jemaine, she is crazy,
dangerous.
241
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,231
I'm just trying
to be a good friend.
242
00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:07,267
Would you please leave?
I'm trying to have a date.
243
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,336
I am warning you, Jemaine,
she is psycho.
244
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,005
I have been
watching you guys
245
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:15,275
and I have never seen that kind
of psychosis in my life.
246
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,410
Get out.
Get out of here, please.
247
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,584
There was no one there.
248
00:11:24,652 --> 00:11:26,753
- That's weird.
- Mmm. That's... that's strange.
249
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:28,755
So can I ask you
a question?
250
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,090
- Mm-hmm.
- What did you do to your hair?
251
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:35,595
Nothing. I... I put a little bit
more water in it than I usually do.
252
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:38,631
- It was really different the other night.
- That was a wig.
253
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,266
It was a big,
orange afro wig.
254
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,135
You wouldn't mind
going home and changing
255
00:11:42,236 --> 00:11:44,170
into what you were wearing
the other night, would you?
256
00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:48,942
I was really attracted
to that, and now this.
257
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,479
Uh, yeah, I supp...
I suppose I could change.
258
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,647
Please. Now.
259
00:11:57,418 --> 00:11:59,586
- Okay.
- Great. Thanks.
260
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:05,058
I'm just gonna make it
a little darker in here.
261
00:12:05,126 --> 00:12:08,061
Um, are you sure that
I really need to wear...
262
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,663
- just a little bit darker.
...the wig?
263
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:13,399
- A little bit darker.
- It's really dark in here.
264
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:16,236
Just a little bit...
and climb up here.
265
00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:18,805
- Umm...
- I just need you to put your legs over
266
00:12:18,873 --> 00:12:21,841
and block that light
with your head.
267
00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:23,977
- I usually...
- It's kind of the right height
268
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,912
if you just...
could you just... yeah...
269
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:28,515
- take off your glasses?
- Oh, I like to keep my glasses on
270
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,750
- because I like to see if...
- Take them off.
271
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:33,052
I usually like
to see the details.
272
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,721
Do you always talk
with the accent?
273
00:12:34,789 --> 00:12:37,157
- Yeah.
- Don't talk.
274
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,293
- Sing.
- Pardon?
275
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,061
Sing "bright eyes."
276
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,097
- I don't think that...
- Sing it.
277
00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:48,268
- ¶ somewhere there are... ¶
- Don't sing.
278
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,936
Don't talk.
279
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,806
Oh, perfect.
280
00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:05,285
¶ demon woman ¶
281
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,220
¶ demon woman ¶
282
00:13:08,689 --> 00:13:10,657
¶ demon woman,
your hair is like silk ¶
283
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:14,461
¶ but you're curdling my milk,
I know not of what ilk thou art ¶
284
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:16,596
¶ demon woman,
woman demon ¶
285
00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:19,532
¶ demon woman,
you sit on a rock ¶
286
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,000
¶ looking nice
in your frock ¶
287
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,103
¶ but you're scaring
my livestock ¶
288
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,072
¶ demon woman,
woman demon ¶
289
00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:28,475
¶ demon woman,
you're making me moan ¶
290
00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:31,377
¶ turn my bone into stone
and you're taking me home ¶
291
00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:34,114
¶ to meet your familiars ¶
292
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:37,917
¶ nice to meet you,
you cast your spell ¶
293
00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:42,122
- ¶ very well ¶
- ¶ demon woman ¶
294
00:13:46,694 --> 00:13:49,195
¶ demon woman,
woman demon ¶
295
00:14:04,545 --> 00:14:07,080
¶ demon woman,
you cut puppies' toes off ¶
296
00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:10,316
¶ pull an animal's nose off,
how'd you magic my clothes off? ¶
297
00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:12,519
¶ demon woman,
take me back to your room ¶
298
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:14,187
¶ make me howl
at the moon ¶
299
00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:16,322
¶ make me pray
to the temple of womb ¶
300
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:18,758
¶ demon woman,
woman demon ¶
301
00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:23,129
¶ your breasts are
balls of flame ¶
302
00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:26,533
¶ and I'm burning my hands
playing these ballgames ¶
303
00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:29,135
¶ demon woman ¶
304
00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:32,071
¶ demon woman ¶
305
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,408
¶ demon woman,
woman demon. ¶
306
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,466
take a spoonful of cereal so it
looks like we're having breakfast.
307
00:15:01,302 --> 00:15:03,036
- Hi, Jemaine.
- Hey, man.
308
00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:06,473
- Hey.
- How come you've been away for three days?
309
00:15:06,507 --> 00:15:09,008
I was on that date
with that woman.
310
00:15:10,611 --> 00:15:13,179
Why are you wearing
your art garfunkel costume?
311
00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:17,617
I don't know. She just
prefers me to wear it.
312
00:15:17,685 --> 00:15:20,720
- Hmm.
- Just one more photo, okay? Just one more.
313
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,789
It's not weird.
314
00:15:27,128 --> 00:15:29,596
- Yeah, it's weird.
- I didn't say it was weird.
315
00:15:29,630 --> 00:15:32,198
- But it is, though. It is... it's weird.
- No no, it's really weird.
316
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:34,601
- Dave's right.
- But it's also the coolest fucking thing
317
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,636
- I've ever heard in my whole life.
- Thank you.
318
00:15:36,704 --> 00:15:40,173
No. You know what?
Go for it. Go for it.
319
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:43,343
Reap the benefits that being
in a tribute band bring.
320
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,645
I mean I've... I've
had women come up to me
321
00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:48,515
and they say,
"oh, elton, I love you.
322
00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:50,316
Please have my baby."
323
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,586
And I've had 11 children,
you know, all elton babies.
324
00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:56,756
- Elton John's gay though.
- Yeah, and so am I when I'm in character.
325
00:15:56,791 --> 00:16:00,260
- Jemaine, how long can you keep this up?
- I don't know.
326
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,096
A couple of years.
327
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:09,536
Yeah. No, the taxi fare
was outrageous.
328
00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:11,704
It was 1,000
new zealand dollars.
329
00:16:11,739 --> 00:16:14,073
Yeah, but you're running the country
at the moment. Try to get it up.
330
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,209
Sir, there are no cell
phones allowed on this tour.
331
00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:17,744
Listen, I've got to go. I'm
meeting with the president.
332
00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:19,979
- Yeah, now.
- Sir, no cell phones.
333
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,715
- God, it's strict here.
- I know.
334
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,385
Good day. I'm Brian, the prime
minister of new zealand. How are you?
335
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:28,521
What are you two meeting
the president about?
336
00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:31,391
- Sir, did you have a question?
- You ask.
337
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:37,230
Yes, when could
we meet with, you know...
338
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:40,767
- I think we're scheduled to see...
- El presidente.
339
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:44,003
- Excuse me, sir.
- Look, I'm sorry. I'm Murray hewitt.
340
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,672
This is the prime minister
of new zealand.
341
00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,841
Yeah. Hi, I'm Brian, the
prime minister of new zealand.
342
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:49,509
Just a sec.
I've got a card somewhere.
343
00:16:49,577 --> 00:16:51,144
This is greg.
He's on photographs.
344
00:16:51,212 --> 00:16:54,013
And Bret here, he's a
bodyguard. Aren't you, Bret?
345
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,315
Here you go.
346
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,319
- This says "John."
- Yes, I know it says "John."
347
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,154
That was
the last prime minister.
348
00:17:01,222 --> 00:17:03,189
We had 3,000 of those printed.
We couldn't just throw them away.
349
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,991
Still the same phone number,
isn't it, Murray?
350
00:17:05,059 --> 00:17:08,161
Same phone number. Basically, when you
call up, just ask for Brian, not John.
351
00:17:08,229 --> 00:17:10,964
- It changes every three years.
- The thing is, we've got a meeting
352
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,533
with the big guy,
the Chief. Chief to Chief.
353
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:16,302
I can't allow you
into the oval office.
354
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,171
But we have
a meeting scheduled.
355
00:17:18,239 --> 00:17:21,174
- You have a scheduled meeting?
- Yeah, that's basically what I just said.
356
00:17:21,242 --> 00:17:22,909
A meeting scheduled,
scheduled meeting.
357
00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:25,879
- Isn't that right, Murray?
- Yeah. Well, you know,
358
00:17:25,946 --> 00:17:28,915
there's scheduled meetings and
then there's chance meetings.
359
00:17:28,983 --> 00:17:31,484
What I've done is I've
scheduled a chance meeting.
360
00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:34,287
Iook, I've got a 20 here,
an American 20.
361
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,323
We have a situation here
in the president's hallway.
362
00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:43,129
- Jemaine, what's wrong? Are you okay?
- Hi, Mel.
363
00:17:43,164 --> 00:17:45,632
Are you upset about something?
Is it that crazy bitch?
364
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,901
- My girlfriend, yes.
- Did she slap you around?
365
00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:50,103
- No.
- Did she sleep around on you?
366
00:17:50,171 --> 00:17:51,738
- No.
- Did she leave you?
367
00:17:51,806 --> 00:17:53,740
- N-no.
- Oh.
368
00:17:53,774 --> 00:17:55,842
Mel, can I tell you
something quite personal?
369
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,278
Yes. Oh, you can
tell me anything.
370
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:01,481
Please. You can trust me.
I am here for you.
371
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:06,019
She makes me dress up as art
garfunkel and have sex with her.
372
00:18:07,822 --> 00:18:10,623
What? That is sick.
373
00:18:10,691 --> 00:18:13,193
That is sickening.
That is disgusting.
374
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,863
What kind of desperate freak goes
along with something like that?
375
00:18:16,931 --> 00:18:18,631
Well, I go along with it.
376
00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:21,901
She calls it
garfunkeling.
377
00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:24,604
- Oh. - I think I've
got low self-esteem.
378
00:18:24,672 --> 00:18:27,240
I'm sorry. I'm just...
I was just so disgusted
379
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:30,910
by what you did, I can't even
focus on what you're saying anymore.
380
00:18:30,945 --> 00:18:34,547
I was just saying I have
quite low self-esteem now.
381
00:18:38,319 --> 00:18:40,186
Do you wanna...
382
00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,623
rest your head
on my bosoms?
383
00:18:43,691 --> 00:18:45,792
That's fine, Mel.
Thank you.
384
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:25,024
Emergency new zealand
government meeting.
385
00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:28,528
What's the story, Murray?
386
00:20:28,596 --> 00:20:31,898
Well, sir, you were supposed
to meet the president
387
00:20:31,966 --> 00:20:33,767
and I was supposed
to organize it,
388
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:36,436
but greg and I failed
to do so.
389
00:20:36,504 --> 00:20:38,371
Murray, you lied to me.
390
00:20:38,439 --> 00:20:40,406
I'm feeling that feeling
where you go...
391
00:20:42,176 --> 00:20:44,711
- angry?
- No, more than that. One up from that.
392
00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:47,447
- Oh, livid.
- I'm just so livid with you, hewitt.
393
00:20:47,515 --> 00:20:50,083
I really wanted
to meet the president.
394
00:20:50,184 --> 00:20:51,951
I'm just so disappointed.
395
00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:54,988
I told everyone back in new zealand
that I was gonna meet the president.
396
00:20:55,022 --> 00:20:56,923
I told my mom I was
gonna meet the president.
397
00:20:56,957 --> 00:20:58,691
What am I gonna tell her
when I get back there
398
00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:00,360
and say that I couldn't
meet the president?
399
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,796
I'm going to look like a
complete and Utter turkey.
400
00:21:02,863 --> 00:21:04,798
You're not
the turkey, sir.
401
00:21:04,899 --> 00:21:06,866
Greg and I are
the turkeys.
402
00:21:08,636 --> 00:21:11,037
I'm sorry.
403
00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:13,740
Was that
an official apology?
404
00:21:13,808 --> 00:21:15,308
Yes, sir.
405
00:21:15,376 --> 00:21:20,280
"Official apology made
by Murray hewitt.
406
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,817
Apology accepted."
407
00:21:23,884 --> 00:21:26,519
- Thank you, sir.
- Good.
408
00:21:26,554 --> 00:21:29,389
Well, we've still got the
barbeque to look forward to.
409
00:21:29,457 --> 00:21:31,157
You know, I was
thinking about that, Murray.
410
00:21:31,192 --> 00:21:33,193
A barbeque is a bit
old-fashioned, don't you think?
411
00:21:33,227 --> 00:21:35,161
What about
a fondue party instead?
412
00:21:35,229 --> 00:21:36,729
- Yes.
- Yes.
413
00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:39,566
I mean, I've got
the cheese covered.
414
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,402
All right.
- And what could you bring, Murray?
415
00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:44,471
- The salads, perhaps?
- Definitely.
416
00:21:44,505 --> 00:21:47,407
- Bret, what can you bring?
- I can make half a dozen croutons.
417
00:21:47,475 --> 00:21:49,542
Half a dozen. Do you think you
can go higher than half a dozen?
418
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:52,045
- 900?
- They'd be very small,
419
00:21:52,113 --> 00:21:54,247
- almost like crumbs.
- 900... I think that's too many.
420
00:21:54,315 --> 00:21:55,915
Try and split
the difference.
421
00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:57,951
Try and come down from 900
but up from six or seven.
422
00:21:58,018 --> 00:22:00,620
I could probably make
15 croutons if you like.
423
00:22:00,688 --> 00:22:02,288
Excellent.
Excellent idea.
424
00:22:02,356 --> 00:22:04,457
You're showing promise,
young man.
425
00:22:04,525 --> 00:22:07,794
- All right.
- "Brett's shown promise.
426
00:22:07,862 --> 00:22:09,696
P.M."
427
00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:11,498
Well.
428
00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:17,871
Who could that be?
Would you get that?
429
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,041
Mel?
430
00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:29,949
- Hello.
- Oh. Hello, art garfunkel.
431
00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:31,785
Sorry, is... is Karen in?
432
00:22:33,954 --> 00:22:36,623
Karen, uh...
433
00:22:37,758 --> 00:22:40,260
art garfunkel is
at the door.
434
00:22:40,294 --> 00:22:42,862
Oh, God! I'll be
there in a minute.
435
00:22:50,037 --> 00:22:52,972
- Hi, Karen.
- Art, what are you doing here?
436
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,508
Karen, how long are you
going to keep doing this?
437
00:22:55,576 --> 00:22:57,210
Doing what? I don't know
what you're talking about.
438
00:22:57,278 --> 00:23:00,113
Come on, I know you
still have feelings for me.
439
00:23:00,214 --> 00:23:03,616
Wow. You are
really self-obsessed.
440
00:23:03,651 --> 00:23:05,885
It's all "me me me,"
isn't it?
441
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,155
Well, this is my boyfriend sage. We
have a very healthy relationship.
442
00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:11,057
- You can't stand that, can you?
- Come on.
443
00:23:11,158 --> 00:23:13,259
Another art garfunkel
impersonator?
444
00:23:13,327 --> 00:23:15,662
- Um, I should go.
- No no no.
445
00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:17,831
You know, if you thought a
little bit less about yourself
446
00:23:17,865 --> 00:23:19,799
and a little bit more about me,
then I wouldn't have to do this.
447
00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:22,335
I think of nothing
other than you
448
00:23:22,436 --> 00:23:24,838
and I know
you still think about me.
449
00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:27,040
- Is that true?
- Yeah.
450
00:23:27,108 --> 00:23:29,576
- Oh.
- So...
451
00:23:29,643 --> 00:23:32,679
- I don't understand.
- Don't do that to me anymore.
452
00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:36,182
- I... I will go.
- I missed you.
453
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:40,520
- This is like the 12th one?
- I just...
454
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:46,793
hello? Don't...
455
00:23:46,861 --> 00:23:48,828
greg, just turn down...
down the gain.
456
00:23:48,863 --> 00:23:50,463
Sorry.
Hello, everyone.
457
00:23:50,531 --> 00:23:52,532
Welcome to the prime
minister's fondue party.
458
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,467
Now just to let you know,
459
00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:56,503
there's over four different
kinds of cheeses to try tonight
460
00:23:56,537 --> 00:23:59,005
and they've all been brought
all the way from new zealand
461
00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:01,241
by our very own
prime minister.
462
00:24:05,679 --> 00:24:09,749
Now the prime minister, he came
to the U.S. To meet the president.
463
00:24:09,817 --> 00:24:14,187
Unfortunately, events
transpired or didn't transpire.
464
00:24:14,221 --> 00:24:16,322
The white house...
very hard to get ahold of
465
00:24:16,357 --> 00:24:18,191
and anyway,
it didn't happen.
466
00:24:18,225 --> 00:24:21,561
So what I've done is I've managed
to pull some strings myself
467
00:24:21,629 --> 00:24:24,097
- and I've got him here tonight.
- What?
468
00:24:24,165 --> 00:24:25,632
Please put
your hands together...
469
00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:28,034
the 44th president
of the united states!
470
00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:48,988
Kiss me. Kiss me.
471
00:24:49,056 --> 00:24:51,791
Bret?
472
00:24:51,859 --> 00:24:53,793
- Oh, hey, Jemaine.
- Oh.
473
00:24:53,861 --> 00:24:57,063
- Hello.
- Oh, sorry.
474
00:24:57,131 --> 00:24:58,598
- I thought...
- hi... hi, Jemaine.
475
00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:03,470
- Good night.
- Okay, just drive.
476
00:25:03,537 --> 00:25:06,306
Just drive, Doug.
Just drive.
477
00:25:06,373 --> 00:25:09,175
Mr. President, I'd like you
to meet the man responsible
478
00:25:09,210 --> 00:25:11,377
for this historic
occasion... Murray hewitt...
479
00:25:11,412 --> 00:25:14,380
who's the deputy cultural attache
for new zealand here in new York.
480
00:25:14,448 --> 00:25:16,316
Oh, yeah, I met him back
at the agency.
481
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:19,119
I also do usher
and sometimes will Smith.
482
00:25:19,186 --> 00:25:21,154
The agency? What's he
talking about, Murray?
483
00:25:21,222 --> 00:25:25,125
The c.I.a. Would
be the agency.
484
00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:28,361
Actually, he's probably talking about
codewords... operation will Smith.
485
00:25:28,395 --> 00:25:30,163
- Well.
- So, can I get a beer?
486
00:25:30,231 --> 00:25:32,899
Absolutely. Someone get the president
of the u.s.a. A beer, please.
487
00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:34,567
Let's get him
new zealand beer, greg.
488
00:25:34,635 --> 00:25:37,804
- We should get a photo.
- Yeah, a photo would be great, actually.
489
00:25:37,905 --> 00:25:39,539
Greg,
photo opportunities.
490
00:25:39,573 --> 00:25:41,541
Forget the beer.
Let's do some photos.
491
00:25:41,609 --> 00:25:44,310
Actually, take autofocus
off and stand back a bit.
492
00:25:44,378 --> 00:25:47,180
- All right.
- Now could we get one
493
00:25:47,248 --> 00:25:49,582
where it makes it looks
like you're taking my advice?
494
00:25:49,650 --> 00:25:53,119
This is probably the one we're
gonna run in the paper, so...
495
00:25:53,187 --> 00:25:56,723
okay, now one where we're just
eye to eye, like we're equals.
496
00:25:56,757 --> 00:25:58,625
Actually, if you could
just pop down a bit...
497
00:25:58,692 --> 00:26:01,594
- just a little bit, yeah?
- Go on tiptoes, Brian.
498
00:26:01,662 --> 00:26:03,863
That's great. Now one
where we're shaking hands
499
00:26:03,931 --> 00:26:06,666
as if we've just done a
really important trade deal.
500
00:26:06,734 --> 00:26:09,803
- Good deal, prime minister.
- Yeah, good good.
501
00:26:09,837 --> 00:26:13,072
Okay, now let's get
one of your "matrix" guys in
502
00:26:13,107 --> 00:26:15,542
and we'll make out
like we've got guns.
503
00:26:15,609 --> 00:26:17,343
He has got a gun,
hasn't he?
504
00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,379
Let's stand as if
we're Charlie's angels.
505
00:26:19,447 --> 00:26:20,747
'Cause this one's
for my kid's room.
506
00:26:20,815 --> 00:26:22,749
Really big "Charlie's
angels" fan. Okay?
507
00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:27,787
Okay, that was great.
508
00:26:27,855 --> 00:26:29,989
Now let's get Bono and elton
John in for the next one.
509
00:26:37,465 --> 00:26:40,300
I knew it... a bloody
glitch. I knew it!
510
00:26:42,303 --> 00:26:44,537
He's going for the edge!
Go and get him, greg!
511
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,448
Hey, Jemaine.
512
00:26:56,584 --> 00:26:59,052
You're home...
early.
513
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:02,722
- Hey.
- These are some of my new friends.
514
00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:08,561
Bret, are you rehearsing
Paul simon's solo stuff?
515
00:27:10,731 --> 00:27:12,398
No.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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