1 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,910 - Hi, Murray. - Hey. I'll say hello in a minute, guys. 2 00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:46,079 It looks busy out there. It's like an office. 3 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:49,015 Guys, I'll have to be quick today I'm afraid. Here we are. 4 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,084 Band meeting. Brett, present. 5 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,386 - Jemaine, present. Murray... - Why didn't you let us say present? 6 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,288 I'm trying to save time here, Jemaine. 7 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,823 That wouldn't have saved much time. 8 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:59,125 I can't have time wastage, all right? I'm stressed out. 9 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,294 - Do you want to know why? - No. 10 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,929 All right, I'll tell you. The prime minister 11 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,597 of new zealand is coming to new York... 12 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:05,932 - Really? - Yeah? 13 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,667 ...and I've been appointed his aide. 14 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,537 - Oh, wow. Congratulations. - We might even go to Washington 15 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,539 and meet the president of America. 16 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,674 Oh, really? Will the queen be there? 17 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:17,644 No, it's not a big do. It's just a small party. 18 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:21,681 Actually... greg, has the president of America returned my call? 19 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,484 - No, Murray. - Oh, you're there, greg, lurking. 20 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,419 How long have you been lurking there? 21 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:29,456 Doesn't matter. Can you call the white house again, please? 22 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,958 - Sure. - Okay. Dismissed. 23 00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,294 Likes to lurk there, doesn't he? 24 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,696 Oh, I've got you a gig. 25 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,331 - Great. - Oh, yeah? 26 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:41,234 Here we go. There's some clothes for you, Jemaine. 27 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:44,537 - Oh, thanks. - And here's a nice coat for you, Bret. 28 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,674 - Thank you. - Oh, and also... 29 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,443 here's a wig. You could wear that. 30 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,413 - A wig? What does Bret need a... - Yeah. It's for the gig, okay? 31 00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,081 - What, a wig for the gig? - Mm-hmm. 32 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:56,549 - I have to wear this? - Yeah, that's your one. 33 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,352 The only thing you'll need is... 34 00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,155 are you familiar with the songs of simon & garfunkel? 35 00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:06,159 You've booked us a gig as a simon & garfunkel tribute act? 36 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,961 - Ah. - Haven't you? 37 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,396 - You're onto it. - You're trying to disguise it. 38 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,632 I tried disguise it as a gift, okay? 39 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,001 - I'll admit it. - Murray, we don't sing other people's songs. 40 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,836 Oh, I know, Bret, but here's the thing: 41 00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:18,438 I listened to some of their songs, 42 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,873 and they're actually better than your songs. 43 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,808 And this is a great opportunity to do them. 44 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,843 You do their songs, you can look like them. 45 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:25,245 But they've already done their songs. 46 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,880 Well, it's better than your last gig. 47 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:28,581 It was barely a gig, wasn't it? 48 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,750 We went into a karaoke bar and you put our names on the list. 49 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,385 - Exactly. - That's not a gig. 50 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,754 - Yeah, it was. It was a bad gig. - It's not a gig. 51 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,757 - It wasn't even a gig. - It's not a bad gig. That's just a karaoke night. 52 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,926 You don't need a manager, 'cause you don't gepaid. 53 00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:42,328 - You just have to put your name on the list. - Well, we know that now. 54 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,531 We're still in a learning phase, aren't we? 55 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,299 You've been managing us for two years. 56 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:49,736 Yeah, I know, but that's the first time I've been to that karaoke bar. 57 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:53,339 My point is, guys, this gig I'm giving you now is a legitimate gig. 58 00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,842 It's from an agency that books lookalikes. 59 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,911 Well, we don't look like simon & garfunkel. 60 00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:01,448 Well, here's the thing... the actual lookalikes don't look anything alike, 61 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,184 and they don't look like the guys they're supposed to look like, 62 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,820 and they're busy. So I went in there 63 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,655 and you know what? You look just like they do. 64 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,224 So we look like some simon & garfunkel lookalikes 65 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,426 who don't look like simon & garfunkel? 66 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,829 That's right. What a blessing. 67 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,131 - So, you happy to do it? - No, clearly not. 68 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:21,601 - No, we're not doing it. - Okay. Well, I'll have to put that $50 back then. 69 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,670 - $50? - $50 each. 70 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:28,641 ¶ have her make me a cambric shirt ¶ 71 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,877 ¶ I need a shirt ¶ 72 00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:35,615 ¶ parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme ¶ 73 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,817 ¶ and thyme ¶ 74 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:43,389 ¶ without a seam nor fine needle... ¶ 75 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,760 look at that, man. They've got apples. 76 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:52,198 - Oh, really? - Guys. Bloody brilliant, all right? 77 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:55,235 - Thanks, elton. - It's so good to see someone else up there 78 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,937 just... like me, just kind of doing my thing, you know? 79 00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,672 You're doing elton John's thing really, though. 80 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,809 I'm doing my thing which is doing elton John's thing. 81 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,345 - Oh yeah? What's he doing then? - He's doing his thing. 82 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,846 - His thing, which is the same thing. - I'm doing... I... 83 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,982 my thing, though, is to do elton John's thing 84 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,984 which is why I said I'm doing my thing... 85 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,119 - doesn't he go into the thi... - Maybe you didn't hear the first thing I said. 86 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,789 Whatever, but... all right, look. 87 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,223 Right there. 88 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,893 They booked another elton John act same night as me, 89 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,463 dressed exactly like me... 1973 "honky chateau" outfit. 90 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,799 There is a guy who is not doing his own thing. 91 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,268 There's a guy who doesn't have a single original idea in his head. 92 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,537 - He's dressed... he's doing elton John's thing. - He looks like you. 93 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,373 - Yeah. No, he's doing my thing when I'm doing... - Hey, John. 94 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,876 Oh, hold me closer, tiny dancer. 95 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,611 - Hello. - Did you see elton #2? 96 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,681 Oh, eh, yes. Well, let me introduce you 97 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,550 to two very talented young men. 98 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,453 This is parsley and this is sage. 99 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,121 - Hello, sage. - Hi. 100 00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:50,657 They filled in for the guys from troubled waters. 101 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,859 One of them had a bladder infection. 102 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,128 Oh, that's too bad. 103 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,363 You were wonderful. 104 00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:59,032 I feel honored to meet you. 105 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,668 - Oh. - Ooh. 106 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,570 Can you feel some love tonight? 107 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,072 Hey, want to see a guy who looks just like Bono from U2? 108 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,308 - Oh yeah yeah? - Yeah, but real muscular. Come here. 109 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,210 Cool. 110 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,712 - You look great. - Oh. 111 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,614 I usually look better than this. 112 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:18,084 - I like your height. - I'm usually this height. 113 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,320 Do you like bubble baths? 114 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,256 Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. 115 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,425 Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night? 116 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,927 Uh, I'll just see if I'm available. Yes. 117 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,997 Bret, this girl asked me out. 118 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,571 - Oh, the prime minis... - shh shh. 119 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:42,075 - The prime minister. - Yes, he's terribly jet-lagged. 120 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,677 He thinks it's tomorrow. Don't wake him. 121 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,479 Hey, can you take a photo of me with him? 122 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,815 Yeah, okay. Get in, Bret. 123 00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:51,284 - Can you move just... - He's waking up. Get out. Go on, go. 124 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,286 - Ah. - He's seen you. Come back, he's seen you. 125 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:56,890 Sorry about that, Murray. Dropped off there. Bloody jet lag. 126 00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:00,393 - What day is it, yesterday? - No, it's today, sir. 127 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,195 Oh, yes. Of course it is. 128 00:06:02,263 --> 00:06:04,731 Oh, well, let me introduce you, prime minister. 129 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,199 These are two of the leading lights 130 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,501 of the new zealand/new York artistic community. 131 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,104 Oh, yeah? Artists, are you? 132 00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:14,107 Good on you. What sort of thing do you paint? 133 00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,543 - Nudes? - No, we're a band, your honor. 134 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,945 Well, I'm Brian, the prime minister of new zealand. 135 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,914 - Yes, we know that. - It's very nice to meet you, my lord. 136 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:24,384 You're gonna have to excuse me. I'm just a bit jetlagged. Christ, what a flight. 137 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,619 I watched a couple of films on the way over though, 138 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,621 but my screen broke halfway through "cars." 139 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:32,125 Have you seen the film "cars," Murray? Do you know what happens at the end? 140 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,561 Let me just... greg, the prime minister 141 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,330 wants to know what happens at the end of the movie "cars." 142 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:40,233 - Okay. - Specifically, I'd like to know 143 00:06:40,301 --> 00:06:43,169 what happens between the main car and the girl car. 144 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:46,806 The prime minister wants to know 145 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,342 specifically between the main car and the girl car... 146 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,612 - do they get together at the end? - Yes, I believe they do. 147 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:57,050 - Oh. They do get together. - Good. It was touch and go there for a while. 148 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,686 - Thank you for that, Murray. That was well done. - That's all right. 149 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,122 That's the sort of thing we should be doing in new zealand. 150 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,023 - I'll make a note of it, prime minister. - Yeah, do make a note of that. 151 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:07,293 "Talking cars." I'll put you down as one of the creators, though, 152 00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:09,696 - 'cause you came up with this concept here. - I think so. Yeah. 153 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,031 - Put me down as a creator. - Okay. Do you mind 154 00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:14,067 if I put my name on there as well, prime minister? Just as... 155 00:07:14,135 --> 00:07:17,871 - put it down "Murray, co-creator." - Oh, thanks very much. 156 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,839 Okay, well, we'll be seeing you around, guys. 157 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,309 Oh, did Murray tell you I'm meeting the president? When is that, Murray? 158 00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,179 Uh, well, I'm still sort of ironing out the finer details, 159 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:29,949 but at the moment it's scheduled in for this Friday. 160 00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:31,718 What have I got booked until then, Murray? 161 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,354 Well, I thought you could go on a guided tour 162 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:36,556 of the cultural sights of new York city. 163 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,558 Perhaps these two guys could guide you. 164 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,794 Oh, great. Good on you. 165 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,396 I'll look forward to it. Oh, well. 166 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:49,102 - What a great man. - Murray, you should be taking him on the tour of new York. 167 00:07:49,170 --> 00:07:51,538 I'm sorry, guys, okay? I'm in real trouble here, 168 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,706 all right? I haven't organized the meeting with the president 169 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,141 and the prime minister doesn't know. 170 00:07:55,176 --> 00:07:57,477 But, Murray, we can't take the prime minister around. 171 00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,079 - We don't know how to do that. - Yes, you can. It's easy. 172 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,414 - Doesn't he need a bodyguard? - He's the prime minister. 173 00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,383 - A bodyguard? - Yeah. 174 00:08:03,451 --> 00:08:05,618 - Well, there you go... Bret. What, me? 175 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,886 Yeah, you can offer protection. 176 00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:08,421 Well, is there a new zealand government gun? 177 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,623 Yeah, but the army's got that. 178 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,259 You could just pretend you've got a gun, 179 00:08:13,294 --> 00:08:15,795 so just put your hand in your jacket like that. 180 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:19,632 - Don't move. - Don't pull that out, 'cause that's obviously not a gun. 181 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:23,303 - Oh, yeah yeah. - When you pull it out, just go "it's still in there." 182 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,472 - Okay? - Okay, all right. 183 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,874 Anything else? 184 00:08:31,412 --> 00:08:32,979 Hello, is that warrick? 185 00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:35,014 Is that warrick? Yeah, hi, it's Brian. 186 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,950 These are... these are FBI style. 187 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,853 These have actually been worn by the FBI on several occasions. 188 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,622 How's the country going? No, seriously, how's it going? 189 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,625 - Who is that guy? - He's the prime minister of new zealand. 190 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:48,528 - What language is he talking? - English. 191 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,331 Yeah, now look, how's the environment going? 192 00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:54,134 - Well, can we clean it up a bit? - Yeah, maybe. 193 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,703 Well, I don't know. Just get some of your cousins together 194 00:08:56,771 --> 00:08:58,104 and just clean it up a bit. 195 00:08:58,139 --> 00:09:00,540 Dave, I'm going on a date with a woman tonight. 196 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:04,210 - Gonna bang her? - She didn't mention that. She mentioned dinner. 197 00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:07,380 Oh. Well, let me know how it goes. 198 00:09:07,448 --> 00:09:09,649 - Okay. - I thought so. 199 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,152 Hey, where'd you get "the matrix"? 200 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,053 This has just come out in new zealand. 201 00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:17,891 Hello. Yes. 202 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,460 Could I please speak to the president, please? 203 00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:22,262 How do you know I called before? 204 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,231 Oh, right, the number came up. Well, yes. Yes, it is me, 205 00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:28,101 um, but this time I've got my prime minister here. 206 00:09:28,169 --> 00:09:30,136 He wasn't here before, but he's actually here now 207 00:09:30,171 --> 00:09:32,272 and it's really become an urgent matter 208 00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,541 that I organize the two great men to meet. 209 00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,543 He's come all the way from new zealand. 210 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,344 New zealand. 211 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,281 It is a country! Yes, it is! 212 00:09:41,382 --> 00:09:43,249 All right. Thank you. 213 00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:44,918 I'm busy as well. I'm gonna go. 214 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,619 I'm going to have to call you back, actually. 215 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:49,055 Thank you. 216 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,662 I mean, how do we know that we're actually here 217 00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,664 in America and not part of the matrix? 218 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,100 I mean, everything in your experience... 219 00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:04,170 are we really here or are we just part of a giant battery? 220 00:10:04,205 --> 00:10:07,040 I don't really believe in the matrix, your honor. 221 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,609 - No, neither do I. - No, I don't believe in it either. 222 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:12,879 - No, of course not. - It's just an interesting idea that is open for discussion. 223 00:10:12,947 --> 00:10:15,949 - I believe in the matrix, your majesty. - I knew it. So do I. 224 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,852 You know why, Dave? Have you ever had deja vu? 225 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,888 All the time. You know what that is, don't you? 226 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:24,224 Glitch in the matrix. 227 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,059 Fuckin' a. 228 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:32,232 So, sage, are you the hugest simon & garfunkel fan or what? 229 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,567 Uh, yeah, I like some of their songs, 230 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,737 like the one about the fair, and... 231 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,472 "scarborough fair"- parenthesis-"canticle." 232 00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:40,807 Yeah, is that the one with the shopping list... 233 00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:43,476 one guy has a shopping list for another guy 234 00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:45,545 with some herbs and spices... 235 00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:47,580 parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme? 236 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,583 - Yes. Actually... - Excuse me, ma'am. There's a phonecall for you. 237 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,652 Really? Be right back. 238 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:58,324 Jemaine. Jemaine. 239 00:10:58,359 --> 00:11:00,360 Mel, what are you doing? How did you get there? 240 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,696 Jemaine, she is crazy, dangerous. 241 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,231 I'm just trying to be a good friend. 242 00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:07,267 Would you please leave? I'm trying to have a date. 243 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,336 I am warning you, Jemaine, she is psycho. 244 00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,005 I have been watching you guys 245 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:15,275 and I have never seen that kind of psychosis in my life. 246 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,410 Get out. Get out of here, please. 247 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,584 There was no one there. 248 00:11:24,652 --> 00:11:26,753 - That's weird. - Mmm. That's... that's strange. 249 00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:28,755 So can I ask you a question? 250 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,090 - Mm-hmm. - What did you do to your hair? 251 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:35,595 Nothing. I... I put a little bit more water in it than I usually do. 252 00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:38,631 - It was really different the other night. - That was a wig. 253 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,266 It was a big, orange afro wig. 254 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,135 You wouldn't mind going home and changing 255 00:11:42,236 --> 00:11:44,170 into what you were wearing the other night, would you? 256 00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:48,942 I was really attracted to that, and now this. 257 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,479 Uh, yeah, I supp... I suppose I could change. 258 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,647 Please. Now. 259 00:11:57,418 --> 00:11:59,586 - Okay. - Great. Thanks. 260 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:05,058 I'm just gonna make it a little darker in here. 261 00:12:05,126 --> 00:12:08,061 Um, are you sure that I really need to wear... 262 00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:10,663 - just a little bit darker. ...the wig? 263 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:13,399 - A little bit darker. - It's really dark in here. 264 00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:16,236 Just a little bit... and climb up here. 265 00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:18,805 - Umm... - I just need you to put your legs over 266 00:12:18,873 --> 00:12:21,841 and block that light with your head. 267 00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:23,977 - I usually... - It's kind of the right height 268 00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,912 if you just... could you just... yeah... 269 00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:28,515 - take off your glasses? - Oh, I like to keep my glasses on 270 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,750 - because I like to see if... - Take them off. 271 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:33,052 I usually like to see the details. 272 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,721 Do you always talk with the accent? 273 00:12:34,789 --> 00:12:37,157 - Yeah. - Don't talk. 274 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,293 - Sing. - Pardon? 275 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,061 Sing "bright eyes." 276 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,097 - I don't think that... - Sing it. 277 00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:48,268 - ¶ somewhere there are... ¶ - Don't sing. 278 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,936 Don't talk. 279 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,806 Oh, perfect. 280 00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:05,285 ¶ demon woman ¶ 281 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,220 ¶ demon woman ¶ 282 00:13:08,689 --> 00:13:10,657 ¶ demon woman, your hair is like silk ¶ 283 00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:14,461 ¶ but you're curdling my milk, I know not of what ilk thou art ¶ 284 00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:16,596 ¶ demon woman, woman demon ¶ 285 00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:19,532 ¶ demon woman, you sit on a rock ¶ 286 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,000 ¶ looking nice in your frock ¶ 287 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,103 ¶ but you're scaring my livestock ¶ 288 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,072 ¶ demon woman, woman demon ¶ 289 00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:28,475 ¶ demon woman, you're making me moan ¶ 290 00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:31,377 ¶ turn my bone into stone and you're taking me home ¶ 291 00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:34,114 ¶ to meet your familiars ¶ 292 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:37,917 ¶ nice to meet you, you cast your spell ¶ 293 00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:42,122 - ¶ very well ¶ - ¶ demon woman ¶ 294 00:13:46,694 --> 00:13:49,195 ¶ demon woman, woman demon ¶ 295 00:14:04,545 --> 00:14:07,080 ¶ demon woman, you cut puppies' toes off ¶ 296 00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:10,316 ¶ pull an animal's nose off, how'd you magic my clothes off? ¶ 297 00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:12,519 ¶ demon woman, take me back to your room ¶ 298 00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:14,187 ¶ make me howl at the moon ¶ 299 00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:16,322 ¶ make me pray to the temple of womb ¶ 300 00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:18,758 ¶ demon woman, woman demon ¶ 301 00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:23,129 ¶ your breasts are balls of flame ¶ 302 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:26,533 ¶ and I'm burning my hands playing these ballgames ¶ 303 00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:29,135 ¶ demon woman ¶ 304 00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:32,071 ¶ demon woman ¶ 305 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,408 ¶ demon woman, woman demon. ¶ 306 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,466 take a spoonful of cereal so it looks like we're having breakfast. 307 00:15:01,302 --> 00:15:03,036 - Hi, Jemaine. - Hey, man. 308 00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:06,473 - Hey. - How come you've been away for three days? 309 00:15:06,507 --> 00:15:09,008 I was on that date with that woman. 310 00:15:10,611 --> 00:15:13,179 Why are you wearing your art garfunkel costume? 311 00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:17,617 I don't know. She just prefers me to wear it. 312 00:15:17,685 --> 00:15:20,720 - Hmm. - Just one more photo, okay? Just one more. 313 00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,789 It's not weird. 314 00:15:27,128 --> 00:15:29,596 - Yeah, it's weird. - I didn't say it was weird. 315 00:15:29,630 --> 00:15:32,198 - But it is, though. It is... it's weird. - No no, it's really weird. 316 00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:34,601 - Dave's right. - But it's also the coolest fucking thing 317 00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,636 - I've ever heard in my whole life. - Thank you. 318 00:15:36,704 --> 00:15:40,173 No. You know what? Go for it. Go for it. 319 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:43,343 Reap the benefits that being in a tribute band bring. 320 00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,645 I mean I've... I've had women come up to me 321 00:15:45,713 --> 00:15:48,515 and they say, "oh, elton, I love you. 322 00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:50,316 Please have my baby." 323 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,586 And I've had 11 children, you know, all elton babies. 324 00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:56,756 - Elton John's gay though. - Yeah, and so am I when I'm in character. 325 00:15:56,791 --> 00:16:00,260 - Jemaine, how long can you keep this up? - I don't know. 326 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,096 A couple of years. 327 00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:09,536 Yeah. No, the taxi fare was outrageous. 328 00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:11,704 It was 1,000 new zealand dollars. 329 00:16:11,739 --> 00:16:14,073 Yeah, but you're running the country at the moment. Try to get it up. 330 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,209 Sir, there are no cell phones allowed on this tour. 331 00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:17,744 Listen, I've got to go. I'm meeting with the president. 332 00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:19,979 - Yeah, now. - Sir, no cell phones. 333 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,715 - God, it's strict here. - I know. 334 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,385 Good day. I'm Brian, the prime minister of new zealand. How are you? 335 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:28,521 What are you two meeting the president about? 336 00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:31,391 - Sir, did you have a question? - You ask. 337 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:37,230 Yes, when could we meet with, you know... 338 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:40,767 - I think we're scheduled to see... - El presidente. 339 00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:44,003 - Excuse me, sir. - Look, I'm sorry. I'm Murray hewitt. 340 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,672 This is the prime minister of new zealand. 341 00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,841 Yeah. Hi, I'm Brian, the prime minister of new zealand. 342 00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:49,509 Just a sec. I've got a card somewhere. 343 00:16:49,577 --> 00:16:51,144 This is greg. He's on photographs. 344 00:16:51,212 --> 00:16:54,013 And Bret here, he's a bodyguard. Aren't you, Bret? 345 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,315 Here you go. 346 00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,319 - This says "John." - Yes, I know it says "John." 347 00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,154 That was the last prime minister. 348 00:17:01,222 --> 00:17:03,189 We had 3,000 of those printed. We couldn't just throw them away. 349 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,991 Still the same phone number, isn't it, Murray? 350 00:17:05,059 --> 00:17:08,161 Same phone number. Basically, when you call up, just ask for Brian, not John. 351 00:17:08,229 --> 00:17:10,964 - It changes every three years. - The thing is, we've got a meeting 352 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,533 with the big guy, the Chief. Chief to Chief. 353 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:16,302 I can't allow you into the oval office. 354 00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,171 But we have a meeting scheduled. 355 00:17:18,239 --> 00:17:21,174 - You have a scheduled meeting? - Yeah, that's basically what I just said. 356 00:17:21,242 --> 00:17:22,909 A meeting scheduled, scheduled meeting. 357 00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:25,879 - Isn't that right, Murray? - Yeah. Well, you know, 358 00:17:25,946 --> 00:17:28,915 there's scheduled meetings and then there's chance meetings. 359 00:17:28,983 --> 00:17:31,484 What I've done is I've scheduled a chance meeting. 360 00:17:31,552 --> 00:17:34,287 Iook, I've got a 20 here, an American 20. 361 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,323 We have a situation here in the president's hallway. 362 00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:43,129 - Jemaine, what's wrong? Are you okay? - Hi, Mel. 363 00:17:43,164 --> 00:17:45,632 Are you upset about something? Is it that crazy bitch? 364 00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,901 - My girlfriend, yes. - Did she slap you around? 365 00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:50,103 - No. - Did she sleep around on you? 366 00:17:50,171 --> 00:17:51,738 - No. - Did she leave you? 367 00:17:51,806 --> 00:17:53,740 - N-no. - Oh. 368 00:17:53,774 --> 00:17:55,842 Mel, can I tell you something quite personal? 369 00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,278 Yes. Oh, you can tell me anything. 370 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:01,481 Please. You can trust me. I am here for you. 371 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:06,019 She makes me dress up as art garfunkel and have sex with her. 372 00:18:07,822 --> 00:18:10,623 What? That is sick. 373 00:18:10,691 --> 00:18:13,193 That is sickening. That is disgusting. 374 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,863 What kind of desperate freak goes along with something like that? 375 00:18:16,931 --> 00:18:18,631 Well, I go along with it. 376 00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:21,901 She calls it garfunkeling. 377 00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:24,604 - Oh. - I think I've got low self-esteem. 378 00:18:24,672 --> 00:18:27,240 I'm sorry. I'm just... I was just so disgusted 379 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:30,910 by what you did, I can't even focus on what you're saying anymore. 380 00:18:30,945 --> 00:18:34,547 I was just saying I have quite low self-esteem now. 381 00:18:38,319 --> 00:18:40,186 Do you wanna... 382 00:18:41,455 --> 00:18:43,623 rest your head on my bosoms? 383 00:18:43,691 --> 00:18:45,792 That's fine, Mel. Thank you. 384 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:25,024 Emergency new zealand government meeting. 385 00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:28,528 What's the story, Murray? 386 00:20:28,596 --> 00:20:31,898 Well, sir, you were supposed to meet the president 387 00:20:31,966 --> 00:20:33,767 and I was supposed to organize it, 388 00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:36,436 but greg and I failed to do so. 389 00:20:36,504 --> 00:20:38,371 Murray, you lied to me. 390 00:20:38,439 --> 00:20:40,406 I'm feeling that feeling where you go... 391 00:20:42,176 --> 00:20:44,711 - angry? - No, more than that. One up from that. 392 00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:47,447 - Oh, livid. - I'm just so livid with you, hewitt. 393 00:20:47,515 --> 00:20:50,083 I really wanted to meet the president. 394 00:20:50,184 --> 00:20:51,951 I'm just so disappointed. 395 00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:54,988 I told everyone back in new zealand that I was gonna meet the president. 396 00:20:55,022 --> 00:20:56,923 I told my mom I was gonna meet the president. 397 00:20:56,957 --> 00:20:58,691 What am I gonna tell her when I get back there 398 00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:00,360 and say that I couldn't meet the president? 399 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,796 I'm going to look like a complete and Utter turkey. 400 00:21:02,863 --> 00:21:04,798 You're not the turkey, sir. 401 00:21:04,899 --> 00:21:06,866 Greg and I are the turkeys. 402 00:21:08,636 --> 00:21:11,037 I'm sorry. 403 00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:13,740 Was that an official apology? 404 00:21:13,808 --> 00:21:15,308 Yes, sir. 405 00:21:15,376 --> 00:21:20,280 "Official apology made by Murray hewitt. 406 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,817 Apology accepted." 407 00:21:23,884 --> 00:21:26,519 - Thank you, sir. - Good. 408 00:21:26,554 --> 00:21:29,389 Well, we've still got the barbeque to look forward to. 409 00:21:29,457 --> 00:21:31,157 You know, I was thinking about that, Murray. 410 00:21:31,192 --> 00:21:33,193 A barbeque is a bit old-fashioned, don't you think? 411 00:21:33,227 --> 00:21:35,161 What about a fondue party instead? 412 00:21:35,229 --> 00:21:36,729 - Yes. - Yes. 413 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:39,566 I mean, I've got the cheese covered. 414 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,402 All right. - And what could you bring, Murray? 415 00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:44,471 - The salads, perhaps? - Definitely. 416 00:21:44,505 --> 00:21:47,407 - Bret, what can you bring? - I can make half a dozen croutons. 417 00:21:47,475 --> 00:21:49,542 Half a dozen. Do you think you can go higher than half a dozen? 418 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:52,045 - 900? - They'd be very small, 419 00:21:52,113 --> 00:21:54,247 - almost like crumbs. - 900... I think that's too many. 420 00:21:54,315 --> 00:21:55,915 Try and split the difference. 421 00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:57,951 Try and come down from 900 but up from six or seven. 422 00:21:58,018 --> 00:22:00,620 I could probably make 15 croutons if you like. 423 00:22:00,688 --> 00:22:02,288 Excellent. Excellent idea. 424 00:22:02,356 --> 00:22:04,457 You're showing promise, young man. 425 00:22:04,525 --> 00:22:07,794 - All right. - "Brett's shown promise. 426 00:22:07,862 --> 00:22:09,696 P.M." 427 00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:11,498 Well. 428 00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:17,871 Who could that be? Would you get that? 429 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,041 Mel? 430 00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:29,949 - Hello. - Oh. Hello, art garfunkel. 431 00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:31,785 Sorry, is... is Karen in? 432 00:22:33,954 --> 00:22:36,623 Karen, uh... 433 00:22:37,758 --> 00:22:40,260 art garfunkel is at the door. 434 00:22:40,294 --> 00:22:42,862 Oh, God! I'll be there in a minute. 435 00:22:50,037 --> 00:22:52,972 - Hi, Karen. - Art, what are you doing here? 436 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,508 Karen, how long are you going to keep doing this? 437 00:22:55,576 --> 00:22:57,210 Doing what? I don't know what you're talking about. 438 00:22:57,278 --> 00:23:00,113 Come on, I know you still have feelings for me. 439 00:23:00,214 --> 00:23:03,616 Wow. You are really self-obsessed. 440 00:23:03,651 --> 00:23:05,885 It's all "me me me," isn't it? 441 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,155 Well, this is my boyfriend sage. We have a very healthy relationship. 442 00:23:09,223 --> 00:23:11,057 - You can't stand that, can you? - Come on. 443 00:23:11,158 --> 00:23:13,259 Another art garfunkel impersonator? 444 00:23:13,327 --> 00:23:15,662 - Um, I should go. - No no no. 445 00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:17,831 You know, if you thought a little bit less about yourself 446 00:23:17,865 --> 00:23:19,799 and a little bit more about me, then I wouldn't have to do this. 447 00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:22,335 I think of nothing other than you 448 00:23:22,436 --> 00:23:24,838 and I know you still think about me. 449 00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:27,040 - Is that true? - Yeah. 450 00:23:27,108 --> 00:23:29,576 - Oh. - So... 451 00:23:29,643 --> 00:23:32,679 - I don't understand. - Don't do that to me anymore. 452 00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:36,182 - I... I will go. - I missed you. 453 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:40,520 - This is like the 12th one? - I just... 454 00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:46,793 hello? Don't... 455 00:23:46,861 --> 00:23:48,828 greg, just turn down... down the gain. 456 00:23:48,863 --> 00:23:50,463 Sorry. Hello, everyone. 457 00:23:50,531 --> 00:23:52,532 Welcome to the prime minister's fondue party. 458 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,467 Now just to let you know, 459 00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:56,503 there's over four different kinds of cheeses to try tonight 460 00:23:56,537 --> 00:23:59,005 and they've all been brought all the way from new zealand 461 00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:01,241 by our very own prime minister. 462 00:24:05,679 --> 00:24:09,749 Now the prime minister, he came to the U.S. To meet the president. 463 00:24:09,817 --> 00:24:14,187 Unfortunately, events transpired or didn't transpire. 464 00:24:14,221 --> 00:24:16,322 The white house... very hard to get ahold of 465 00:24:16,357 --> 00:24:18,191 and anyway, it didn't happen. 466 00:24:18,225 --> 00:24:21,561 So what I've done is I've managed to pull some strings myself 467 00:24:21,629 --> 00:24:24,097 - and I've got him here tonight. - What? 468 00:24:24,165 --> 00:24:25,632 Please put your hands together... 469 00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:28,034 the 44th president of the united states! 470 00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:48,988 Kiss me. Kiss me. 471 00:24:49,056 --> 00:24:51,791 Bret? 472 00:24:51,859 --> 00:24:53,793 - Oh, hey, Jemaine. - Oh. 473 00:24:53,861 --> 00:24:57,063 - Hello. - Oh, sorry. 474 00:24:57,131 --> 00:24:58,598 - I thought... - hi... hi, Jemaine. 475 00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:03,470 - Good night. - Okay, just drive. 476 00:25:03,537 --> 00:25:06,306 Just drive, Doug. Just drive. 477 00:25:06,373 --> 00:25:09,175 Mr. President, I'd like you to meet the man responsible 478 00:25:09,210 --> 00:25:11,377 for this historic occasion... Murray hewitt... 479 00:25:11,412 --> 00:25:14,380 who's the deputy cultural attache for new zealand here in new York. 480 00:25:14,448 --> 00:25:16,316 Oh, yeah, I met him back at the agency. 481 00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:19,119 I also do usher and sometimes will Smith. 482 00:25:19,186 --> 00:25:21,154 The agency? What's he talking about, Murray? 483 00:25:21,222 --> 00:25:25,125 The c.I.a. Would be the agency. 484 00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:28,361 Actually, he's probably talking about codewords... operation will Smith. 485 00:25:28,395 --> 00:25:30,163 - Well. - So, can I get a beer? 486 00:25:30,231 --> 00:25:32,899 Absolutely. Someone get the president of the u.s.a. A beer, please. 487 00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:34,567 Let's get him new zealand beer, greg. 488 00:25:34,635 --> 00:25:37,804 - We should get a photo. - Yeah, a photo would be great, actually. 489 00:25:37,905 --> 00:25:39,539 Greg, photo opportunities. 490 00:25:39,573 --> 00:25:41,541 Forget the beer. Let's do some photos. 491 00:25:41,609 --> 00:25:44,310 Actually, take autofocus off and stand back a bit. 492 00:25:44,378 --> 00:25:47,180 - All right. - Now could we get one 493 00:25:47,248 --> 00:25:49,582 where it makes it looks like you're taking my advice? 494 00:25:49,650 --> 00:25:53,119 This is probably the one we're gonna run in the paper, so... 495 00:25:53,187 --> 00:25:56,723 okay, now one where we're just eye to eye, like we're equals. 496 00:25:56,757 --> 00:25:58,625 Actually, if you could just pop down a bit... 497 00:25:58,692 --> 00:26:01,594 - just a little bit, yeah? - Go on tiptoes, Brian. 498 00:26:01,662 --> 00:26:03,863 That's great. Now one where we're shaking hands 499 00:26:03,931 --> 00:26:06,666 as if we've just done a really important trade deal. 500 00:26:06,734 --> 00:26:09,803 - Good deal, prime minister. - Yeah, good good. 501 00:26:09,837 --> 00:26:13,072 Okay, now let's get one of your "matrix" guys in 502 00:26:13,107 --> 00:26:15,542 and we'll make out like we've got guns. 503 00:26:15,609 --> 00:26:17,343 He has got a gun, hasn't he? 504 00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,379 Let's stand as if we're Charlie's angels. 505 00:26:19,447 --> 00:26:20,747 'Cause this one's for my kid's room. 506 00:26:20,815 --> 00:26:22,749 Really big "Charlie's angels" fan. Okay? 507 00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:27,787 Okay, that was great. 508 00:26:27,855 --> 00:26:29,989 Now let's get Bono and elton John in for the next one. 509 00:26:37,465 --> 00:26:40,300 I knew it... a bloody glitch. I knew it! 510 00:26:42,303 --> 00:26:44,537 He's going for the edge! Go and get him, greg! 511 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,448 Hey, Jemaine. 512 00:26:56,584 --> 00:26:59,052 You're home... early. 513 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:02,722 - Hey. - These are some of my new friends. 514 00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:08,561 Bret, are you rehearsing Paul simon's solo stuff? 515 00:27:10,731 --> 00:27:12,398 No. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net