1 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,129 Bret, you've been gone for hours. 2 00:00:39,197 --> 00:00:42,066 I've been waiting for the bread. Where have you been? 3 00:00:42,133 --> 00:00:46,770 ¶ I was wandering through the streets of the city ¶ 4 00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:49,773 ¶ rambling through the avenues of time ¶ 5 00:00:49,808 --> 00:00:53,143 ¶ when from nowhere my eyes fell onto a girl ¶ 6 00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:56,113 ¶ and by chance her eyes fell onto mine... ¶ 7 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,984 - oh. - ¶ so I sat and I acted all nonchalant ¶ 8 00:01:00,051 --> 00:01:03,254 ¶ she smoked her lavender cigarette ¶ 9 00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:07,091 ¶ reading the future that lay in my hands ¶ 10 00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:09,960 ¶ my shadow played a bass clarinet... ¶ 11 00:01:11,997 --> 00:01:13,797 where are you going with this, Bret? 12 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:17,001 ¶ we waltzed down a moonlit Boulevard ¶ 13 00:01:17,102 --> 00:01:20,204 ¶ just two silhouettes in the mist... ¶ 14 00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:24,241 - oh, yes. - ¶ days went by and years went by ¶ 15 00:01:24,309 --> 00:01:27,444 - ¶ moments went by when we kissed... ¶ - when was this? 16 00:01:27,512 --> 00:01:30,781 ¶ she said, "your beard is woven of heartache ¶ 17 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,884 ¶ and we'll drink for the lonely tonight ¶ 18 00:01:33,952 --> 00:01:37,488 ¶ and the moon is a horny old drunkard..." ¶ 19 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,891 uh, Bret, could you please move over to your right? 20 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:44,495 ¶ we drank dandelion wine and we reminisced ¶ 21 00:01:44,529 --> 00:01:48,132 - ¶ about the moment when we first met that day... ¶ - I'm trying to watch TV. 22 00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:51,535 ¶ then we reminisced about how we first reminisced... ¶ 23 00:01:51,603 --> 00:01:54,638 oh, yeah? Sounds a bit gay. 24 00:01:54,706 --> 00:01:58,008 ¶ she handed me a broken memory ¶ 25 00:01:58,043 --> 00:02:01,645 ¶ a keepsake to forevermore save ¶ 26 00:02:01,713 --> 00:02:05,249 ¶ for a brief taste of love is as sweet as any ¶ 27 00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:08,619 ¶ and with that she made her way. ¶ 28 00:02:08,653 --> 00:02:12,489 so did you... did you get the bread, or... 29 00:02:12,557 --> 00:02:15,526 - oh. No, I forgot. - 'Cause I've been waiting here 30 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,194 with all my sandwich fillings all ready. 31 00:02:17,229 --> 00:02:20,464 Yeah, I was just really busy thinking about this girl. 32 00:02:20,499 --> 00:02:22,867 What was her name? 33 00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:26,203 ¶ she said her name was a secret ¶ 34 00:02:26,238 --> 00:02:29,673 ¶ then she said her name was cheri... ¶ 35 00:02:29,741 --> 00:02:31,876 is her middle name cheri? 36 00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:34,578 So it's a secret cheri maybe? 37 00:02:34,646 --> 00:02:36,514 - ¶ mmm, maybe... ¶ - what she look like? 38 00:02:36,581 --> 00:02:39,250 ¶ she looked like a parisian river... ¶ 39 00:02:39,317 --> 00:02:42,620 - what, dirty? - ¶ she looked like a chocolate eclair... ¶ 40 00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:46,090 - that's rare. - ¶ her eyes were reflections of eyes... ¶ 41 00:02:46,157 --> 00:02:49,527 - oh, nice. - ¶ and the rainbows danced in her hair... ¶ 42 00:02:49,561 --> 00:02:52,496 - oh yeah. - ¶ she reminded me of a winter's morning... ¶ 43 00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:56,133 - oh, frigid. - ¶ her perfume was eau de toilette... ¶ 44 00:02:56,201 --> 00:02:59,703 - what does that mean? - ¶ she was comparable to cleopatra... ¶ 45 00:02:59,738 --> 00:03:02,873 - quite old. - ¶ she was like shakespeare's Juliet... ¶ 46 00:03:02,941 --> 00:03:07,044 - oh, 13? - ¶ the bohemians of soho did pirouette ¶ 47 00:03:07,112 --> 00:03:10,648 ¶ as we waltzed through the streets of Manhattan ¶ 48 00:03:10,715 --> 00:03:14,485 ¶ on rivers of ribbon and sailboats of song... ¶ 49 00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:17,521 Bret, did any of this actually happen? 50 00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:19,723 ¶ there's a girl I described ¶ 51 00:03:19,791 --> 00:03:21,392 ¶ she's as real as the wind ¶ 52 00:03:21,459 --> 00:03:23,961 ¶ it's true I saw her today ¶ 53 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:28,098 ¶ the other details are inventions ¶ 54 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,402 ¶ because I prefer her that way. ¶ 55 00:03:32,904 --> 00:03:34,772 so you're saying you made all of that up? 56 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,608 I made 95% of that up. 57 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,677 Which bit's true? 58 00:03:39,744 --> 00:03:42,379 I saw a girl. 59 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,949 Oh! So your excuse for not getting the bread 60 00:03:44,983 --> 00:03:47,051 is because you were on a fantasy date? 61 00:03:47,085 --> 00:03:48,953 Why don't you go on a real date? 62 00:03:48,987 --> 00:03:51,121 Because they're never as good as fantasy dates. 63 00:03:51,156 --> 00:03:52,423 Oh yeah. Where does she work, this girl? 64 00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:54,725 She works down at the cheap zoo. 65 00:03:54,759 --> 00:03:56,861 - The pet store? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 66 00:03:56,928 --> 00:04:01,031 - She's, um, one of the cat tamers. - Oh, yes. 67 00:04:01,099 --> 00:04:03,434 Every time I go in there I freeze up, I panic 68 00:04:03,502 --> 00:04:05,769 and I end up buying two goldfish I don't even want. 69 00:04:05,837 --> 00:04:08,472 - Why do you buy two then? - Well, if you get two, you get one free. 70 00:04:08,507 --> 00:04:10,274 But you don't even want any goldfish, Bret. 71 00:04:10,342 --> 00:04:13,410 - Why would you buy two? - Might as well get one free. 72 00:04:13,445 --> 00:04:15,579 Hey, Jemaine, I was wondering if you'd think about being my wingman... 73 00:04:15,647 --> 00:04:17,848 - oh! No. ...like in "top gun." 74 00:04:17,916 --> 00:04:20,217 No, Bret. Do I have to? 75 00:04:20,318 --> 00:04:22,152 Umm, uh, yes. 76 00:04:22,187 --> 00:04:25,222 - Okay. All right. - If you want to do it, there's a condition. 77 00:04:25,257 --> 00:04:26,690 - What? - You can't hit on her. 78 00:04:26,758 --> 00:04:28,359 What? Why... why would I hit on her? 79 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,195 - You always do that. - Oh! When? 80 00:04:31,296 --> 00:04:34,431 - Always. - Oh, okay. So you do something every time, 81 00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:36,100 and suddenly you've got a reputation. 82 00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:38,135 - You do it. - I do not. 83 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,970 - You do it. - I do not. 84 00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:41,639 Yes, you do. 85 00:04:41,673 --> 00:04:44,441 - What are you doing in here? - Fixing the shower. 86 00:04:44,509 --> 00:04:47,411 - It wasn't broken. - well, I'm sorry... I broke it. 87 00:04:47,479 --> 00:04:49,180 I'm sorry, but you're always... 88 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,682 you're always making moves on his girls. 89 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,084 Okay, I will not make a move on this girl. 90 00:04:54,152 --> 00:04:55,853 Yeah, you should remain hidden. 91 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,855 Yes, remain hidden. 92 00:05:03,895 --> 00:05:06,463 Take a photo of me in front of the budgebears. 93 00:05:06,498 --> 00:05:09,800 Bret, you're stalling. Just go and ask her out for a drink. 94 00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:11,769 Yeah, okay. 95 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,842 - Hello. - Oh, hi. 96 00:05:17,909 --> 00:05:20,010 Are you thirsty? 97 00:05:20,078 --> 00:05:21,445 What? 98 00:05:21,513 --> 00:05:23,747 Goldfish... one goldfish, please. 99 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,016 Umm, if you buy two, you. 100 00:05:27,485 --> 00:05:28,886 Okay. 101 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,455 What time do you feed the cats? 102 00:05:39,898 --> 00:05:42,700 Hey! What's up, guys? 103 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:45,569 - Hey, Dave. - What's with the fish, Bret? 104 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:48,739 - I've got a girlfriend. - No. 105 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,509 Uh, not... not completely a girlfriend. 106 00:05:51,543 --> 00:05:53,911 - She doesn't know I exist. - But you do... 107 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:56,614 - you do exist, don't you? - Yeah. I exist, yeah. 108 00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:01,185 'Cause you guys said you didn't exist before. 109 00:06:01,219 --> 00:06:03,687 - Yeah, we... we exist. - Yeah, I exist. 110 00:06:03,722 --> 00:06:06,524 - I fully exist. - Why did you tell me you were from never never land? 111 00:06:06,558 --> 00:06:08,125 - New zealand. - New zealand, man. 112 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,261 But you said you guys flew here. 113 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,763 On a plane. On a plane, Dave. 114 00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:16,100 Hey, Dave, do you have any of those miniature headphone microphone sets? 115 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,969 - 'Cause I want to put my wingman here in a van. - Yeah, sure. 116 00:06:19,037 --> 00:06:21,605 He's gonna give me advice while I go and see this girl. 117 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,307 He got an idea from a sitcom. 118 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,042 Jemaine's your wingman, huh? 119 00:06:25,076 --> 00:06:26,977 - Yes. - What the fuck does he know about women? 120 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,947 I know about brassieres. Do you know about those? 121 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,016 Guys, women like three things: 122 00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:34,051 Men in kilts, southern comfort, 123 00:06:34,119 --> 00:06:36,086 and Chris isaak's "wicked game." 124 00:06:36,154 --> 00:06:37,688 Whoa, he does know more than you. 125 00:06:37,756 --> 00:06:39,423 Yeah, I think you're oversimplifying women. 126 00:06:42,494 --> 00:06:45,129 - Okay, band meeting. - Uh, Murray? 127 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,264 Oh, greg, I'm just in the middle of something, please. 128 00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:50,134 - I'm sorry, Murray. - Shush now, okay? 129 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,902 - What's gotten into you? - It's just that... 130 00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:54,305 please! This won't take a minute. 131 00:06:54,339 --> 00:06:57,007 Now, where was I, Jemaine? 132 00:06:57,108 --> 00:06:59,109 Uh... yeah, you were at "Jemaine." 133 00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:01,679 - Okay. Present. - Yes, present. 134 00:07:01,746 --> 00:07:03,681 - Bret. - Mm-hmm. 135 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,050 Okay, and Murray... present. 136 00:07:06,084 --> 00:07:08,252 That wasn't too hard, was it? 137 00:07:08,286 --> 00:07:10,120 - Now what's the problem? - Helen's on the line. 138 00:07:10,188 --> 00:07:13,524 Well, why didn't you say?! What does she want? 139 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,860 She says she's in a meeting with the Chinese ambassador. 140 00:07:15,961 --> 00:07:18,496 There's 16 people there, but there's only 12 sandwiches. 141 00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:21,999 Oh no. I only ordered 12. 142 00:07:23,768 --> 00:07:28,005 - On line one. - Sorry, guys, official business. 143 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,040 Hey, helen. 144 00:07:30,141 --> 00:07:31,609 Yes. 145 00:07:31,643 --> 00:07:34,078 Yup, 16 people. I heard. 146 00:07:34,145 --> 00:07:37,348 Yeah, only 12 sandwiches. I know. It's terrible. 147 00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:38,983 Yeah. 148 00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:40,851 Why? 149 00:07:40,886 --> 00:07:42,753 Oh, um... 150 00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:46,423 uh, to be honest with you, at the end of the day, um... 151 00:07:46,458 --> 00:07:51,095 actually, I think greg could be responsible. 152 00:07:51,163 --> 00:07:54,532 I was walking past his desk 153 00:07:54,566 --> 00:07:57,568 and I saw in his wastepaper bin 154 00:07:57,636 --> 00:08:01,338 some wrappers which I think were from sandwiches. 155 00:08:01,406 --> 00:08:04,408 And just looking at his face earlier, 156 00:08:04,476 --> 00:08:07,311 I did notice he had some crumbs just around his mouth... 157 00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,346 just on each side. I think they were sandwich crumbs. 158 00:08:09,414 --> 00:08:11,415 I'm not pointing any fingers, 159 00:08:11,483 --> 00:08:12,950 but I think if I was you, 160 00:08:13,018 --> 00:08:17,054 I would probably look at the third suspect being greg. 161 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,690 Yeah, I understand. I'll tell him. 162 00:08:21,726 --> 00:08:25,796 Um, helen's disappointed that you ate four of them, 163 00:08:25,864 --> 00:08:28,933 so... sorry about that. 164 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,402 That's okay, Murray. 165 00:08:31,436 --> 00:08:33,537 Thank you. 166 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,906 I think he heard the whole thing, didn't he? 167 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,209 - Probably. He was just standing there. - Yeah. 168 00:08:38,276 --> 00:08:39,844 I've never seen him that angry. 169 00:08:39,878 --> 00:08:42,513 Murray, do we have any gigs or anything? 170 00:08:42,581 --> 00:08:44,815 - Because I've got to go. - Got something on, have you? 171 00:08:48,587 --> 00:08:50,621 - Yeah. - what do you mean? Hing - I've put "nothing" here. Ook. 172 00:08:50,689 --> 00:08:52,923 - "No need to come in." - Well, why have you called us in? 173 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,558 - I don't know. - You wrote that down? 174 00:08:54,593 --> 00:08:56,961 - Yeah, I wrote "nothing." - But you called us up 175 00:08:57,028 --> 00:08:59,029 and told us to come in 176 00:08:59,064 --> 00:09:00,865 to tell us there's no need to come in? 177 00:09:00,932 --> 00:09:02,633 - That's weird, isn't it? - Why'd you call us? 178 00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:05,836 Well, it's like... it's kind of like a habit. 179 00:09:05,937 --> 00:09:07,938 You know, we sort of fall into these patterns. 180 00:09:07,973 --> 00:09:10,774 Day after day, we end up doing the same sort of thing. 181 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,744 It's a bit like shelley and I, actually, 182 00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:15,479 looking back. 183 00:09:15,547 --> 00:09:18,549 I think that's where the cracks started to show... 184 00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:20,985 just getting used to each other so much, 185 00:09:21,052 --> 00:09:23,053 taking each other for granted 186 00:09:23,154 --> 00:09:25,756 like a pair of old sneakers... they're always there. 187 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,159 Put them on, same thing day after day. 188 00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:37,134 Oh, I'll get us some cake. 189 00:09:37,169 --> 00:09:40,171 Greg, is there any of that orange cake left? 190 00:09:40,238 --> 00:09:42,640 It's Murray. 191 00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:47,111 Oh no. He is angry. 192 00:09:47,179 --> 00:09:50,915 Sorry, guys. I'm gonna have to calm the storm. 193 00:09:57,255 --> 00:10:00,291 Uh, can you hear me, Bret? 194 00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,526 Chicken torso. 195 00:10:02,627 --> 00:10:04,361 Chicken torso, can you hear me? 196 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:06,864 Chicken torso, raise a hand if you can hear me. 197 00:10:06,932 --> 00:10:08,933 - Yeah. - There you go. 198 00:10:08,967 --> 00:10:11,168 - Cool. - Now be brave, Bret. 199 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,304 Stop shaking, Bret. Stop shaking. 200 00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:16,073 Stand with your feet apart like your balls are on fire. 201 00:10:16,141 --> 00:10:19,910 Don't do the accompanying face, though... just the stance. 202 00:10:19,945 --> 00:10:22,847 Go up to her. Just approach her. 203 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,715 - Back up, back up. - Good work, Bret. 204 00:10:24,783 --> 00:10:27,084 Now say hell turn. 205 00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:29,820 No no, stay facing away from her. It makes you seem different. 206 00:10:29,888 --> 00:10:32,189 Half ignore her and half pay attention to her. 207 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:35,159 - Hello. - Hi, do you need help? 208 00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:37,394 - Turn side on. - Say somethin you assho! 209 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,064 - Um... - say hello. 210 00:10:40,131 --> 00:10:42,299 - Hello. - Hi, can I help you? 211 00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:45,302 - Compliment her hair. - Ask her what's up with her face. 212 00:10:45,337 --> 00:10:47,571 - What's up with your face? - What? 213 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,207 You shouldn't have said that. It's too early. 214 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,577 Is that a walkie-talkie on your kilt? 215 00:10:53,645 --> 00:10:55,646 Tell her it's an ipod. 216 00:10:55,714 --> 00:10:58,315 - No, this is just... - an old ipod. 217 00:10:58,383 --> 00:11:00,818 - It's an old ipod. - Okay. 218 00:11:00,886 --> 00:11:03,888 - Good work. Now tell her you're freaky. - Don't tell her that. 219 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:07,224 - Tell her you're a freak. - Why would you tell her that he's freaky? 220 00:11:07,259 --> 00:11:10,561 - How's he gonna get into her pants if he doesn't... - 221 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:13,898 can I help you with something? 222 00:11:13,932 --> 00:11:16,467 I'll just... I'll just get a goldfish, please. 223 00:11:22,073 --> 00:11:25,476 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Mel. 224 00:11:25,544 --> 00:11:27,711 Hey, why have you been standing here for so long? 225 00:11:27,746 --> 00:11:29,346 It's been, like, hours... 226 00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:32,449 like, three... and a half hours. 227 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,718 - Just hanging out. - Just... just... 228 00:11:34,786 --> 00:11:37,021 are you gonna steal this car? 229 00:11:37,055 --> 00:11:39,390 - Oh, no, we're just spying on someone... - no no. 230 00:11:39,424 --> 00:11:40,858 - Who? ...for Bret. 231 00:11:40,926 --> 00:11:42,660 - No one. No. - No one. 232 00:11:42,727 --> 00:11:45,196 Oh my God, is it me? 233 00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:47,464 - No. No. - It's me, isn't it? 234 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,466 - No. - You've been watching me. 235 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:52,069 That is... so creepy, you guys. 236 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:54,205 That is an invasion of my personal space. 237 00:11:54,239 --> 00:11:56,540 Why would you do that? Why would you watch me? 238 00:11:56,608 --> 00:11:59,777 Have you been watching me? What did you see? 239 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:02,279 What have I been doing? I don't even know what I. 240 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,281 - Mel, it wasn't... we weren't watching you. - It wasn't you, Mel. 241 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,450 It's the girl over at the pet shop. 242 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:07,918 - You're following her? - No. 243 00:12:07,986 --> 00:12:09,553 Bret's in love with her. 244 00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:11,288 - No, I'm not. I'm not. - Bret! 245 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,057 - Why? - Well... I'm not. 246 00:12:13,091 --> 00:12:14,758 Bret, if you really love someone, 247 00:12:14,826 --> 00:12:16,494 you have to get to know them as a person. 248 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,662 You can't just watch them from afar. 249 00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:23,501 You know, you have to learn what they are like on the inside. 250 00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,604 Get closer. Find the key to their heart. 251 00:12:26,671 --> 00:12:31,041 I like to find useful information in bills, letters. 252 00:12:31,109 --> 00:12:33,043 Sometimes I collect nail clippings, 253 00:12:33,111 --> 00:12:34,745 but that's just me. 254 00:12:34,779 --> 00:12:37,348 Bret, does she run an indian food takeaway? 255 00:12:37,415 --> 00:12:40,784 - No. - Here, use these. It's easier. 256 00:12:40,852 --> 00:12:43,320 Oh, thanks. Why do you have those? 257 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,056 - Yeah. No reason. - Bret, she loves eggs. 258 00:12:46,091 --> 00:12:50,561 - Make her an omelet. - Oh, is her name savannah? Does she work at petland? 259 00:12:50,629 --> 00:12:53,130 - Works at petland, yeah. - Oh. 260 00:12:53,198 --> 00:12:57,368 - Half an avocado. - She has $145 on her electric Bill. 261 00:12:57,435 --> 00:12:59,537 - Tea bags, yogurt. - That's great, Mel. 262 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,739 You know, Bret, when you love someone, 263 00:13:01,806 --> 00:13:04,508 you need all the ammunition you can get to take them down. 264 00:13:04,543 --> 00:13:06,310 - Right. - Look at me and Doug. 265 00:13:06,378 --> 00:13:09,046 He resisted at first. In the end he cracked 266 00:13:09,114 --> 00:13:12,082 and look at us today... we couldn't be happier. 267 00:13:12,117 --> 00:13:15,886 Mel, this dumpster is definitely from a different building. 268 00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:18,022 Keep looking, Doug. - Bret... 269 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,990 I think she has man's feet. 270 00:13:20,058 --> 00:13:21,892 Man feet, Bret. 271 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,128 Ah. Motorcycle magazines. 272 00:13:24,229 --> 00:13:26,931 - She must like tough guys. - Tough guys? 273 00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:28,532 Yeah. 274 00:13:31,903 --> 00:13:34,171 Jemaine, come and look at this. 275 00:13:34,239 --> 00:13:36,674 - There's greg, see? - Yeah. 276 00:13:36,741 --> 00:13:39,109 - Look how sad he looks. - He looks normal. 277 00:13:39,177 --> 00:13:40,644 Who's that he's talking to? 278 00:13:40,745 --> 00:13:42,546 Might be a businessman, do you think? 279 00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,515 - I don't know. - Jemaine. 280 00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,917 I want you to be my wingman. 281 00:13:46,985 --> 00:13:49,253 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 282 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:52,122 Distract his mate while I apologize to greg. 283 00:13:52,157 --> 00:13:54,492 - Come on. - I don't know what to say to a businessman. 284 00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:58,128 - Business stuff... you know, stock exchange, calculators. 285 00:13:58,196 --> 00:14:00,931 Hey. Hey, guys. 286 00:14:00,999 --> 00:14:02,600 - Hey, guys. - Mind if we join you? 287 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,568 Actually, we're in the middle of a meeting, Murray. 288 00:14:04,603 --> 00:14:06,837 Oh, like that, is it, greg? 289 00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:08,873 No no, it's ne. Please sit down. 290 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:12,443 Hi there. 291 00:14:12,511 --> 00:14:16,080 - Well... hi, greg. - I like your tie. 292 00:14:16,114 --> 00:14:18,415 Well, greg, I just wanted to say sorry 293 00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:21,218 you know, for telling helen that you ate those sandwiches. 294 00:14:21,286 --> 00:14:24,588 I know everyone's been talking about it. 295 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,391 I just wanted you to know that I know you're innocent. 296 00:14:27,459 --> 00:14:30,561 And... oh, I got you some chocolates from my desk. 297 00:14:33,031 --> 00:14:35,065 They're a bit squashed, but... 298 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,234 thank you, Murray. 299 00:14:37,302 --> 00:14:39,837 No breaking through that wall of ice, is there? 300 00:14:39,905 --> 00:14:42,673 Another chocolate. 301 00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:46,076 Thank you. 302 00:14:47,646 --> 00:14:50,414 - Come on, Jemaine, let's go. ...2- 3-6. 303 00:14:50,482 --> 00:14:52,716 - Jemaine. - This is a fun game. Do you ever play it online? 304 00:14:52,784 --> 00:14:55,452 - Uh... - no, Jemaine doesn't go online. 305 00:14:55,487 --> 00:14:58,589 - Come on, let's... - okay. Sorry, sven, I have to go. 306 00:14:58,657 --> 00:15:00,491 - It was nice to meet you. - Good to meet you. 307 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:08,966 Bret, I don't want to be your wingman anymore. 308 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:12,136 - What? Why not? - It's tiring. 309 00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:13,637 - I'm exhausted. - One last thing. 310 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,239 - No. - I bump into savannah tonight, 311 00:15:15,307 --> 00:15:18,108 you mug us and I beat you up a little bit. 312 00:15:18,176 --> 00:15:20,010 - Okay. - Yeah? 313 00:15:20,078 --> 00:15:23,280 - Where'd you get this idea? - I saw it on a sitcom. 314 00:15:23,348 --> 00:15:26,851 - Did it work on the sitcom? - Not completely, no, 315 00:15:26,952 --> 00:15:29,420 but this is real, so I think we've got a better chance. 316 00:15:41,032 --> 00:15:44,068 - Hey. - Hi. 317 00:15:44,135 --> 00:15:45,803 - Who... - the goldfish guy... 318 00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:48,772 - oh. ...like, "can I get a goldfish?" 319 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,508 - Okay, yeah, I kinda... - yeah? 320 00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:52,142 Yeah, you look kind of familiar. 321 00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:54,979 Yeah, I've bought, like, 63 goldfish off you. 322 00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:57,548 - Oh, that's a lot. - Yeah. Yeah. 323 00:15:57,616 --> 00:16:00,851 - Do you want me to walk you home? - Oka... all right. Okay. 324 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,420 I'm happy to be your bodyguard. This is a dangerous corner. 325 00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:07,892 Okay, when they come past, we have to jump on them. 326 00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:09,493 - Yeah yeah, I know. - You got it? 327 00:16:09,561 --> 00:16:11,795 Yeah, I've got it. I've done this before. I know what to do. 328 00:16:11,830 --> 00:16:14,465 And Bret is going to beat us up a little bit. 329 00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:17,134 Yeah, if he does that, I'll fucking kill him. 330 00:16:17,235 --> 00:16:19,503 No. No no no no. Don't kill him. 331 00:16:19,571 --> 00:16:22,072 If that piece of shit lays a finger on me, 332 00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:24,642 - I will fuck him up. - No, we've got to let him beat us, 333 00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:26,544 and then savannah will be impressed that... 334 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,646 right right. No, that's right, that's right. 335 00:16:28,747 --> 00:16:30,648 - You told me that. - He thinks she likes macho guys. 336 00:16:30,715 --> 00:16:32,116 Right, and then he looks good. I've got it. Okay. 337 00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:34,585 But the money... the money, 50-50, right down the middle. 338 00:16:34,686 --> 00:16:37,488 - Okay? I'm not gonna do... - no, we have to let them keep the purse. 339 00:16:37,522 --> 00:16:39,924 - What? What? - We have to let them keep the purse. 340 00:16:39,991 --> 00:16:41,492 I told you... did I not explain that? 341 00:16:41,526 --> 00:16:42,960 - You know, this is bullshit. - I should've explained that. 342 00:16:43,028 --> 00:16:44,428 No, Jemaine, this is bullshit. 343 00:16:44,496 --> 00:16:46,263 I didn't come out here to do pro Bono work. 344 00:16:46,331 --> 00:16:48,332 I do this for a living. This is my profession. 345 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,202 You can't take advantage of our friendship like this. 346 00:16:51,269 --> 00:16:53,204 Well, I hope it doesn't come across that way. 347 00:16:53,271 --> 00:16:57,041 - I just love fish. Do you love fish? - Yeah. Yeah. 348 00:16:57,108 --> 00:16:59,310 - Yeah, I thought you'd love fish. - I think so. 349 00:16:59,377 --> 00:17:02,847 - Man, fish are great. I wish I was a fish. - Hey, I was gonn... I... 350 00:17:02,881 --> 00:17:06,584 I was just gonna get some sushi right down the block. 351 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,854 I don't know if you've eaten dinner. Would you want to come with me? 352 00:17:09,921 --> 00:17:12,423 - Yeah. Yeah. - Oh, good, okay. 353 00:17:12,457 --> 00:17:15,726 - Cool, so... - should we go that way and go around the block? 354 00:17:15,794 --> 00:17:18,562 I'm doing pretend muggings. 355 00:17:18,630 --> 00:17:21,365 - How's this look? - What the fuck is on your face? 356 00:17:21,399 --> 00:17:23,234 I just thought it would make me look more criminal. 357 00:17:23,301 --> 00:17:24,835 Take it off. You're like the hamburglar. 358 00:17:24,870 --> 00:17:26,871 That guy fucking scares me. Take that off. 359 00:17:26,938 --> 00:17:29,039 - You're creeping me out. - Oh, here they come. Here they come. 360 00:17:29,107 --> 00:17:31,141 - Let's fuck 'em up! - No, John... no, John! 361 00:17:31,209 --> 00:17:33,477 - Down... ooh. - Hey, give me that! 362 00:17:33,545 --> 00:17:35,479 - Hey! Hey, you! Hey, leave her alone! - No, let go of my bag! 363 00:17:35,547 --> 00:17:37,481 - Oh my... oh my God! - Give me that! 364 00:17:37,549 --> 00:17:39,517 Give me that! Let go of... 365 00:17:39,618 --> 00:17:42,753 - oh my God! Oh my God! No, give me my purse! - Oh! Oh no. 366 00:17:42,787 --> 00:17:45,055 - Let go! - Okay okay okay okay! 367 00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:47,925 - Oh my... police! Hello? - Oh! Ow. 368 00:17:47,993 --> 00:17:50,361 Someone help! Police! 369 00:17:50,428 --> 00:17:53,797 - What did you bring him for? - He's the only mugger I know, isn't he? 370 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:57,034 - Oh, he just busted my nose. - Help! 371 00:17:57,068 --> 00:17:58,936 Go away! Go away! 372 00:17:59,004 --> 00:18:01,805 - Get... get out of here, you freaking mugger! 373 00:18:03,808 --> 00:18:05,809 - Oh my gosh, are you okay? 374 00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:08,512 Are you... oh my God! 375 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:11,482 That was ridiculous! 376 00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:15,286 - Are you all right? - Yeah. Thank God I was here. 377 00:18:15,353 --> 00:18:17,855 Well, yeah, I guess, except that they took my purse and my... 378 00:18:17,923 --> 00:18:19,623 - they stole your bag? - Yes, they stole... 379 00:18:19,691 --> 00:18:21,125 - yeah, they stole my bag. - They're not supposed to do that. 380 00:18:21,193 --> 00:18:23,027 Well, yeah, I know they're not supposed to, 381 00:18:23,094 --> 00:18:24,728 but they di... of course... what? 382 00:18:24,763 --> 00:18:26,964 Would you still like to get a little bit of sushi? 383 00:18:27,032 --> 00:18:28,966 - Okay. - Yeah? 384 00:18:29,034 --> 00:18:31,268 Is your nose okay? 385 00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:32,670 It's okay, yeah. 386 00:18:32,704 --> 00:18:35,239 I'm just so glad I was here to save you. 387 00:18:35,307 --> 00:18:38,342 - Let's get the sushi. - Huh. All right. Okay. 388 00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:41,478 Oh, it worked. They're walking away together. 389 00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:43,981 I know. 390 00:18:44,049 --> 00:18:46,350 Hey, you weren't maced. Why are you crying? 391 00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:49,453 I'm not fucking crying. 392 00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:54,825 Did... have you still got that purse? 393 00:18:54,893 --> 00:18:56,827 Yeah, I'm sorry. It's force of habit. 394 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,967 - It was us. - Put your hands down, asshole. 395 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,139 Well, officer, it's quite simple. 396 00:19:09,174 --> 00:19:11,742 There's been a misunderstanding. You see, Jemaine here is 397 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,477 a member of the new zealand consulate staff, 398 00:19:13,545 --> 00:19:16,046 so therefore he's subject to diplomatic immunity. 399 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,015 Do you have any identification for yourself 400 00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:19,817 or the gentleman in question? 401 00:19:19,851 --> 00:19:22,653 Okay, there's a card. 402 00:19:22,687 --> 00:19:25,256 "Jemaine clemaine, new zealand diplomat." 403 00:19:26,491 --> 00:19:28,259 This looks like it was made 404 00:19:28,326 --> 00:19:29,894 on one of those machines you find at kinko's. 405 00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,529 That's right. Yeah, we've got an account there. 406 00:19:31,563 --> 00:19:34,999 We get them all done there. And here's my one. 407 00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:37,902 You can get 1,000 done for $10. 408 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,370 Where do you get your cards done? 409 00:19:39,404 --> 00:19:41,105 You've got badges, have you? I suppose. 410 00:19:41,206 --> 00:19:42,840 - Do you get those at kinko's? - I'm sorry. You are? 411 00:19:42,908 --> 00:19:44,642 I'm Murray hewitt. 412 00:19:44,709 --> 00:19:46,744 I'm the deputy cultural attache for the new zealand government, 413 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:49,113 and this is my assistant greg. 414 00:19:49,181 --> 00:19:51,315 - Hello. - Hi. 415 00:19:51,383 --> 00:19:53,617 He's actually angry with me about something, 416 00:19:53,685 --> 00:19:55,686 so I've brought him in here as a treat. 417 00:19:55,754 --> 00:19:59,089 We don't really need him, but it's good to get him out of the office. 418 00:19:59,124 --> 00:20:02,259 Iook, the diplomat in question was guilty of assault. 419 00:20:02,294 --> 00:20:04,862 Typical. Yeah, I understand. 420 00:20:04,896 --> 00:20:07,565 He's sort of a bit of a renegade, but... 421 00:20:07,632 --> 00:20:11,769 - okay, you can just take him with you - thank you. 422 00:20:11,837 --> 00:20:14,305 Can we get my friend John out as well? 423 00:20:14,372 --> 00:20:15,906 - No. - My friend John... 424 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,209 all right. Okay, greg? Friends again? 425 00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:20,544 - Uh, sure, Murray. - Come here. 426 00:20:20,612 --> 00:20:23,047 All right. I knew bringing you here was a good thing. 427 00:20:23,114 --> 00:20:25,749 - Sorry about the sandwiches, okay? - Mm-hmm. Sure. 428 00:20:25,817 --> 00:20:28,219 - It's good to have the vibe back to what we had. - You know what? 429 00:20:28,286 --> 00:20:30,287 Gentlemen, I'm actually quite busy at the moment, 430 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,790 so if you could maybe do this some other time, maybe? 431 00:20:32,824 --> 00:20:35,826 Sorry, officer. Yeah. Thank you. 432 00:20:35,894 --> 00:20:38,429 Thank you for having me, officer. 433 00:20:40,499 --> 00:20:42,299 Hey, what's up? It's Dave. 434 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,668 Remember... tell her you're freaky, Bret. 435 00:20:44,736 --> 00:20:47,338 Would you like peanut butter or a jam sushi? 436 00:20:47,405 --> 00:20:50,174 Tell her you're freaky, Bret. Tell her you're freaky. 437 00:20:50,242 --> 00:20:53,177 - Um, I would love neither... - and Jemaine says can you come and get him out of jail. 438 00:20:53,245 --> 00:20:55,646 ...if that's okay with you. - Okay. 439 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,849 - Who was that? - Um, uh... pfft. 440 00:20:58,917 --> 00:21:01,752 - I'm freaky. - Uh, what? 441 00:21:01,853 --> 00:21:04,722 Did I mention that I'm one of those sort of freaky guys? 442 00:21:04,789 --> 00:21:07,258 I don't think that you mentioned that. 443 00:21:07,292 --> 00:21:09,360 Yeah, I'm freaky. - 444 00:21:09,427 --> 00:21:13,864 ¶ girl, I'm gonna take the month of august off ¶ 445 00:21:13,932 --> 00:21:16,467 ¶ just to get you off ¶ 446 00:21:16,535 --> 00:21:19,136 ¶ I'm freaky ¶ 447 00:21:19,204 --> 00:21:21,605 ¶ I'm gonna clear the tabletop ¶ 448 00:21:21,673 --> 00:21:23,073 ¶ we're gonna need a mop ¶ 449 00:21:23,141 --> 00:21:25,476 ¶ I'm freaky ¶ 450 00:21:25,510 --> 00:21:28,679 ¶ let's take a photo of a goat in a boat ¶ 451 00:21:28,780 --> 00:21:30,981 ¶ then we can float in the moat ¶ 452 00:21:31,016 --> 00:21:34,218 - ¶ and be freaky ¶ - ¶ freaky ¶ 453 00:21:34,286 --> 00:21:37,955 ¶ let's take my body and we II cover it with honey ¶ 454 00:21:38,023 --> 00:21:40,257 ¶ stick some money to the honey ¶ 455 00:21:40,325 --> 00:21:42,493 ¶ now I'm covered in money, honey ¶ 456 00:21:42,561 --> 00:21:45,629 ¶ I go outside onto the ledge ¶ 457 00:21:45,697 --> 00:21:47,765 ¶ and push my ass against the glass ¶ 458 00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,634 ¶ you can act like you don't know me ¶ 459 00:21:52,237 --> 00:21:55,372 ¶ I take a cup and then I put it on my head ¶ 460 00:21:55,473 --> 00:21:57,875 ¶ and I just stand there being freaky ¶ 461 00:21:57,943 --> 00:22:00,311 ¶ with a cup on my head ¶ 462 00:22:00,378 --> 00:22:03,647 ¶ I told you I was freaky ¶ 463 00:22:03,715 --> 00:22:05,883 ¶ I told you I was freaky, baby ¶ 464 00:22:05,951 --> 00:22:08,085 ¶ you did not believe me ¶ 465 00:22:08,153 --> 00:22:09,486 ¶ don't look at me ¶ 466 00:22:09,554 --> 00:22:12,556 ¶ I told yo I was freaky ¶ 467 00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:14,391 ¶ look at me ¶ 468 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:18,329 ¶ girl, let's get freaky ¶ 469 00:22:18,396 --> 00:22:22,032 ¶ let's make two life-size cardboard cutouts of our bodies ¶ 470 00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:27,171 ¶ and then pose them into sensual positions ¶ 471 00:22:27,239 --> 00:22:31,175 ¶ I'll paint the wallpaper pattern onto your naked skin ¶ 472 00:22:31,243 --> 00:22:36,046 ¶ stand against the wallpaper and get off like chameleons ¶ 473 00:22:36,081 --> 00:22:38,382 ¶ I'll flip some clips on my lips ¶ 474 00:22:38,450 --> 00:22:40,651 ¶ I'll clip some chips to your hips ¶ 475 00:22:40,719 --> 00:22:42,620 ¶ I'll nibble chips off your hips ¶ 476 00:22:42,687 --> 00:22:44,822 ¶ and watch the moon eclipse ¶ 477 00:22:44,890 --> 00:22:47,258 ¶ I'll go outside, get some leaves ¶ 478 00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:49,126 ¶ and pretend to be a tree ¶ 479 00:22:49,194 --> 00:22:51,028 ¶ you can be a squirrel ¶ 480 00:22:51,096 --> 00:22:53,731 ¶ and store my nuts for me ¶ 481 00:22:53,798 --> 00:22:56,233 ¶ I told you I was freaky ¶ 482 00:22:56,301 --> 00:22:58,369 ¶ he told you he was freaky, baby ¶ 483 00:22:58,436 --> 00:23:00,638 ¶ you didn't believe me ¶ 484 00:23:00,705 --> 00:23:02,573 ¶ take that off ¶ 485 00:23:02,641 --> 00:23:05,176 ¶ I told you I was freaky ¶ 486 00:23:05,243 --> 00:23:07,044 ¶ put this on ¶ 487 00:23:07,112 --> 00:23:10,314 ¶ girl, I do this shit wicked ¶ 488 00:23:12,951 --> 00:23:17,555 ¶ let's steal my roommate's pillow feathers ¶ 489 00:23:17,622 --> 00:23:20,491 ¶ and make some homemade wings ¶ 490 00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:25,563 ¶ gonna fly so high on makeshift pillow wings ¶ 491 00:23:26,765 --> 00:23:28,365 ¶ girl, could you believe ¶ 492 00:23:28,433 --> 00:23:33,103 ¶ we're flying on homemade pillow wings? ¶ 493 00:23:33,171 --> 00:23:34,905 ¶ oh! ¶ 494 00:23:45,517 --> 00:23:47,484 ¶ I told you I was freaky ¶ 495 00:23:50,222 --> 00:23:53,457 ¶ I told you I was freaky, baby. ¶ 496 00:23:57,829 --> 00:23:59,763 hey. Hey, Jemaine. 497 00:23:59,831 --> 00:24:03,701 - How was your night? - Uh, well, 498 00:24:03,768 --> 00:24:06,537 it was pretty exhausting, actually, Bret. 499 00:24:06,605 --> 00:24:08,305 I don't think... 500 00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:12,676 is that my honey? 501 00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:14,478 Maybe. 502 00:24:16,281 --> 00:24:17,681 Is that my money jar? 503 00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,650 Hey, Jemaine, did I introduce you to savannah? 504 00:24:19,718 --> 00:24:22,086 Oh, hey. 505 00:24:22,153 --> 00:24:24,321 - Oh, hi. - Hey. 506 00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:28,359 Uh, I'm gonna go get changed. 507 00:24:34,499 --> 00:24:36,300 I owe you $14. 508 00:24:38,770 --> 00:24:41,038 You know, how's it going with her? 509 00:24:41,072 --> 00:24:42,907 It's good. I think it's going pretty well. 510 00:24:42,974 --> 00:24:44,909 - Yeah? - Yeah. You know, it's just the first date. 511 00:24:44,976 --> 00:24:47,711 - Yeah, of course it is. - Hey. 512 00:24:47,779 --> 00:24:49,180 Hey. 513 00:24:49,247 --> 00:24:52,183 Wow, you look a lot like, uh, 514 00:24:52,217 --> 00:24:55,519 - that guy who mugged us. - Yeah, well, it was him. 515 00:24:55,554 --> 00:24:58,489 - Yeah, it was me. - I actually asked him to pretend to mug us 516 00:24:58,557 --> 00:25:01,158 so I could save you and impress you, so we could get to know each other better. 517 00:25:01,193 --> 00:25:03,060 Oh my... you what? But you stole my bag. 518 00:25:03,094 --> 00:25:05,563 - Uh, yeah, we did. - well, he wasn't supposed to take the bag, but... 519 00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:07,464 - but there was a miscommunication. - I know. I'm sorry, 520 00:25:07,532 --> 00:25:10,034 because I know you had the money to pay your electricity Bill in there probably. 521 00:25:10,101 --> 00:25:11,936 - You... - $145. 522 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:15,372 Don't worry, I paid that... well, I paid $10 off it. 523 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,241 How do you know about my electricity Bill? 524 00:25:17,309 --> 00:25:19,476 Well, I just went through your rubbish and I found your Bill. 525 00:25:19,544 --> 00:25:21,178 How do you even know where I live? 526 00:25:21,213 --> 00:25:23,380 - Common knowledge. - I followed you home. 527 00:25:23,448 --> 00:25:25,783 - Bret. - What? Well, we followed you home. 528 00:25:25,851 --> 00:25:28,319 - Oh my God. This is sick. - He... mostly him. 529 00:25:28,386 --> 00:25:31,889 - What? I'm not sick. - Please please don't come to the pet store again. 530 00:25:31,957 --> 00:25:33,824 A lot of these were his idea. Let me wa... 531 00:25:33,892 --> 00:25:35,326 - let me show you out. - No, that's okay. 532 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,328 - So you're single? - I'm fine, thank you. 533 00:25:37,395 --> 00:25:39,563 Goodbye. Thank you. 534 00:25:42,534 --> 00:25:45,836 - She's a bit crazy. - Do you want me to give you a hand breaking up with her? 535 00:25:47,572 --> 00:25:49,039 Yeah, that'd be good, actually. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net