1 00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:53,637 Uh... 2 00:02:05,283 --> 00:02:08,184 we're being way too loud? 3 00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:09,920 Yes, but this is regarding the rent. 4 00:02:09,987 --> 00:02:13,623 - Oh, we've paid our rent. - We've paid our rent. 5 00:02:13,724 --> 00:02:16,059 - You gave me a check. - We gave you that check. 6 00:02:16,127 --> 00:02:18,228 - Yeah. - Yeah, but I've been collecting the checks 7 00:02:18,296 --> 00:02:20,897 and I just went to the bank to deposit them 8 00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:23,300 and they're in the wrong currency. 9 00:02:23,401 --> 00:02:26,770 - What? - They're in new zealand dollars. 10 00:02:26,837 --> 00:02:28,572 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, they're probably... 11 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:31,174 - yeah, our checkbook is... - it's a new zealand account. 12 00:02:31,242 --> 00:02:34,477 - New zealand account. - Yeah, I need you to pay rent in American dollars. 13 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:37,480 - Okay. - Retroactively... 14 00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:39,482 and future actively. 15 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,218 Well, we can't do anything in the past. 16 00:02:41,285 --> 00:02:44,654 No, but you could pay me now for the mistakes of the past. 17 00:02:46,224 --> 00:02:47,824 - Yeah. - How much do we owe? 18 00:02:47,892 --> 00:02:50,227 Over the past two years, you've come up short 19 00:02:50,294 --> 00:02:54,598 and you owe me $7,727. 20 00:02:58,135 --> 00:03:01,004 - Yeah. - Is that American dollars or real dollars? 21 00:03:01,072 --> 00:03:04,608 - American. - that... we owe you that much? 22 00:03:04,675 --> 00:03:07,911 - Yeah, and for new zealand dollars, you would owe... 23 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,779 ...that much. 24 00:03:09,847 --> 00:03:12,082 Yeah. 25 00:03:12,149 --> 00:03:16,019 - $77,000. - Yeah. Yeah. 26 00:03:16,087 --> 00:03:19,356 - Can we give you an I.o. U? - No. No. 27 00:03:19,457 --> 00:03:22,292 - In American dollars, not in new zealand dollars. - Oh, no. 28 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,861 - No, I'm gonna need... I prefer the money. - The money. 29 00:03:24,929 --> 00:03:26,396 - Yeah. - Soon? 30 00:03:26,464 --> 00:03:28,498 - Yeah. Uh-huh. - Let me handle this, Bret. 31 00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:31,401 - Can I be honest with you? - Yes. 32 00:03:31,469 --> 00:03:33,737 We don't have any... anywhere near 33 00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:35,772 that amount of money. 34 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,675 When do you think you will have that amount of money? 35 00:03:38,743 --> 00:03:40,510 - May I? - Yes. 36 00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,414 Okay, here... here it is. Umm... 37 00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,850 - whoa. - Ooh. 38 00:03:46,918 --> 00:03:50,053 - Never. - I'm going to give you a month. 39 00:03:50,154 --> 00:03:52,389 You have a month to pay your rent, otherwise you have to leave. 40 00:03:52,456 --> 00:03:54,391 - Well... - can we choose which month? 41 00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:56,359 No. 42 00:03:58,429 --> 00:04:00,597 - Evicted? - Mmm. 43 00:04:00,665 --> 00:04:03,366 - By whose authority? - The landlord. 44 00:04:03,434 --> 00:04:05,368 - Why? - Just because we were paying 45 00:04:05,403 --> 00:04:07,571 with new zealand dollars instead of American dollars. 46 00:04:07,672 --> 00:04:10,173 Okay, so he's a racist and now you're homeless. 47 00:04:10,241 --> 00:04:13,176 - Yeah, it's really terrible. - Oh, Bret. 48 00:04:13,244 --> 00:04:15,579 - Present. - Jemaine. 49 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:18,615 - Present. - Well, Murray, present. 50 00:04:20,685 --> 00:04:22,619 I think it might be time, guys. 51 00:04:22,687 --> 00:04:25,488 - What for? - To stage your lives 52 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,257 as an off-broadway musical. 53 00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:28,959 - Oh. - Oh, yeah, of course. 54 00:04:29,026 --> 00:04:31,027 Is there a more practical solution? 55 00:04:31,095 --> 00:04:32,796 - No, just... - one that relates to our problem? 56 00:04:32,864 --> 00:04:34,731 Look at this. 57 00:04:34,799 --> 00:04:36,266 It's time to show you, okay? 58 00:04:36,334 --> 00:04:37,901 I've been writing this for two years... 59 00:04:37,969 --> 00:04:39,936 secretly, all right? 60 00:04:40,004 --> 00:04:41,571 It's a musical, like "mamma mia"... 61 00:04:41,639 --> 00:04:44,341 - "mamma mia"? ...but this is your musical. 62 00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:45,609 All right? It's your story. 63 00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:48,879 - A musical? - Yeah, about your lives. 64 00:04:48,946 --> 00:04:50,714 We haven't got anywhere to live, and you're saying 65 00:04:50,781 --> 00:04:53,049 we should put on... maybe we should put on a musical? 66 00:04:53,117 --> 00:04:55,352 I think so. The opportunity has arisen 67 00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:57,854 to present this to you, okay? 68 00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,524 It's about a couple of deadbeat guys from new zealand 69 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,226 - who have got nothing going on. - Wait, who are those characters? 70 00:05:03,294 --> 00:05:06,096 Jemaine and Bret. It's... it's based on you, 71 00:05:06,163 --> 00:05:08,798 - and you come to America with a dream. - How insulting. 72 00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:11,401 - It says "two hopeless losers." - Yup, that's you. 73 00:05:11,469 --> 00:05:14,471 You're down and out. At the beginning you've got nothing 74 00:05:14,539 --> 00:05:18,008 and you start at the bottom, but with a bit of hard work 75 00:05:18,075 --> 00:05:21,077 and the help of a savvy manager who shows you the light... 76 00:05:21,145 --> 00:05:23,313 - who's that? - Oh, that's a character 77 00:05:23,381 --> 00:05:25,081 who's based on me, loosely based on me... 78 00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:26,316 you make it to the top. 79 00:05:26,384 --> 00:05:28,985 Our story is the story of two guys 80 00:05:29,053 --> 00:05:31,888 who start at the bottom and with a lot of hard work 81 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,557 continue along the bottom 82 00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:35,258 and finally end up at the bottom. 83 00:05:35,326 --> 00:05:37,093 Oh yeah, that's an intriguing scenario. 84 00:05:37,161 --> 00:05:39,329 - Yeah, it's a rags- to-rags story. - Yeah, imagine it. 85 00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:41,665 Yeah, did you see the one about the guys who started at the bottom, 86 00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:44,134 stayed at the bottom and at the end they were still at the bottom? 87 00:05:44,202 --> 00:05:46,970 - Oh. Yes, that's our lives. - So inspirational. 88 00:05:47,038 --> 00:05:49,573 - Who'd go and see that? - L... I think I'd see that. 89 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,441 - I would go see that. - It's more realistic. 90 00:05:51,509 --> 00:05:54,177 You're thinking that you're at the end of your tether now, 91 00:05:54,278 --> 00:05:56,112 but what if this is just the beginning of your story? 92 00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,014 Then it's a slow start, isn't it? 93 00:05:58,082 --> 00:05:59,749 This is good stuff, okay? 94 00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:02,352 I was writing this and at the same time I was reading it. 95 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:03,954 I couldn't put it down. 96 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:06,223 - Take a look at the end. - What happens at the end? 97 00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:09,559 At the end you end up staging yourselves a big broadway musical 98 00:06:09,627 --> 00:06:12,729 - and it's a great success. - Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's gonna happen like that. 99 00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:16,333 Well, everything so far has turned out, Bret, okay? 100 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,301 Yeah, but that's because it's based on truth... this is our story... 101 00:06:18,369 --> 00:06:20,170 and then you just made up the end with a musical. 102 00:06:20,238 --> 00:06:22,372 Some of it's in the future. But look at this scene. 103 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,341 Iook, you come into my office 104 00:06:24,375 --> 00:06:27,043 and I tell you about the musical I've written. It's just like now. 105 00:06:27,144 --> 00:06:28,378 - Really? - Yeah. 106 00:06:28,479 --> 00:06:30,213 - Oh yeah, you say "really?" - There you go. 107 00:06:30,281 --> 00:06:32,349 You've got "really?" here. I knew you'd say that. 108 00:06:32,416 --> 00:06:35,318 - The thing is... - oh, we're supposed to be singing. 109 00:06:35,386 --> 00:06:38,021 Yeah, when I tell you the news, and here you love it 110 00:06:38,055 --> 00:06:39,890 and you get up on your chairs and sing, but... 111 00:06:39,991 --> 00:06:42,225 - that's not gonna happen. - Trust me, guys, 112 00:06:42,326 --> 00:06:45,495 this is gonna be great. This is our last resort. 113 00:06:45,563 --> 00:06:47,898 It sure is. 114 00:06:47,999 --> 00:06:49,566 Can we stay at your place tonight, Murray? 115 00:06:49,634 --> 00:06:51,902 Yeah, sure, 116 00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:54,137 but I've only got one bed 117 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,974 and I grope people in my sleep. 118 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,709 It's a condition. 119 00:06:59,777 --> 00:07:01,411 It's one of the reasons 120 00:07:01,479 --> 00:07:03,146 I had to leave the new zealand army. 121 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,448 We'll just stay on the co... on the floor. 122 00:07:05,516 --> 00:07:07,417 I'll probably find you there. 123 00:07:07,485 --> 00:07:10,220 I tend to... I really reach out. 124 00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:13,690 - I'll sleep in the kitchen. - Mmm, okay. 125 00:07:15,526 --> 00:07:17,093 Mmm, never mind. 126 00:07:17,161 --> 00:07:19,029 - No? - We'll find somewhere. 127 00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:20,564 Yeah, don't worry about it. 128 00:07:20,598 --> 00:07:22,999 That's actually better for the story, if you're homeless. 129 00:07:24,802 --> 00:07:27,771 "Two homeless deadbeats go out onto the streets." 130 00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:30,807 Wow, this is great stuff. 131 00:07:34,879 --> 00:07:36,746 I'm sorry I can't help you guys out, 132 00:07:36,781 --> 00:07:40,550 but I think the other guy living in my apartment is a dangerous drug dealer. 133 00:07:40,618 --> 00:07:42,886 - Your dad? - Yeah. 134 00:07:42,954 --> 00:07:45,889 I can't have you at my apartment. What if some crazy shit goes down? 135 00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:49,426 - Yeah. - And I'm not allowed to have friends over on weeknights, 136 00:07:49,493 --> 00:07:53,163 - but this place is good. - Hey, guys. 137 00:07:53,231 --> 00:07:54,931 Hi, we'd like to inquire about a room. 138 00:07:54,999 --> 00:07:56,833 Mm-hmm, sure. 139 00:07:56,901 --> 00:07:59,469 But we only have $51 American. 140 00:07:59,537 --> 00:08:03,039 We only have one room that you can get for $51... 141 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,809 - room 204. - That sounds good. 142 00:08:05,877 --> 00:08:09,179 Well, the thing about room 204 is that a terrible murder happened there... 143 00:08:09,247 --> 00:08:11,281 a woman killed her husband. 144 00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:13,083 It was the most gruesome thing I ever heard of. 145 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:14,618 What do you mean? What... what happened? 146 00:08:14,685 --> 00:08:16,953 She decapitated him, 147 00:08:16,988 --> 00:08:19,256 castrated him, defanged him. 148 00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:21,625 She removed his hands and feet. 149 00:08:21,692 --> 00:08:23,994 - Right. - I'll always remember the day 150 00:08:24,095 --> 00:08:27,497 of that most horrible murder... the 1St of november. 151 00:08:27,565 --> 00:08:29,599 - Oh, that's today's date. - Weird. 152 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,768 Yeah, it's today's date. It happened earlier today. 153 00:08:31,836 --> 00:08:33,303 - Eh? - Shit. 154 00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:34,938 And the police psychologist said 155 00:08:35,006 --> 00:08:36,473 she would return to the scene... 156 00:08:36,507 --> 00:08:38,108 to kill again. 157 00:08:38,175 --> 00:08:39,676 - Hey, guys. - Oh! Shit. 158 00:08:39,777 --> 00:08:41,177 - Hey, Mel. - Where's Doug? 159 00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:43,346 - Oh, he's just there. - Hey, guys. 160 00:08:43,414 --> 00:08:45,015 - Oh! Shit. - Hey. 161 00:08:45,082 --> 00:08:48,351 I heard you don't have a place to stay. 162 00:08:48,452 --> 00:08:50,487 - Yeah. - I would love it 163 00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:52,656 if you'd stay with us. 164 00:08:52,723 --> 00:08:54,591 Oh, we're okay. We just got a room. 165 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,459 Oh. 166 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:01,097 Thanks for the offer, though. 167 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,699 Yeah. 168 00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:04,534 Hmm. 169 00:09:04,602 --> 00:09:06,102 Actually, maybe that would be quite good. 170 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,871 Thank u, Mel. Thank you, Doug. 171 00:09:07,939 --> 00:09:11,041 - Of course! - Eh? 172 00:09:13,277 --> 00:09:16,012 Okay, so another rule: 173 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,181 There will be no bringing girls back to the house. 174 00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:21,151 I know how you guys are. 175 00:09:21,219 --> 00:09:23,019 Actually, Mel, I don't see any reason 176 00:09:23,087 --> 00:09:25,488 why they can't bring girls back here to visit if they want. 177 00:09:25,556 --> 00:09:28,658 Uh, do you want to bring some girls home too, Doug? 178 00:09:28,726 --> 00:09:31,695 - No, but I don't see any reason why they can't. - No, that's fine. 179 00:09:31,729 --> 00:09:33,563 Yeah, maybe I'll bring some girls home too, 180 00:09:33,631 --> 00:09:35,565 just find some real authentic sluts 181 00:09:35,633 --> 00:09:38,635 and just turn this house into a whorehome. 182 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,504 - Is that what you'd like, Doug? - No, it's not, but... 183 00:09:41,572 --> 00:09:44,574 there will be no smoking, drinking or drugs, no partying. 184 00:09:44,642 --> 00:09:47,477 - We don't party. - I know, that's for Doug. 185 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:50,847 Ahem. He struggled with addiction. 186 00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:53,783 Okay, number 8: 187 00:09:53,851 --> 00:09:56,319 You must not leave the house. 188 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,755 - When? - What, never? 189 00:09:58,823 --> 00:10:00,757 Well, not after 11:30 P.M. 190 00:10:00,825 --> 00:10:04,094 And preferably never. 191 00:10:04,161 --> 00:10:06,530 Umm, I think that's... 192 00:10:06,597 --> 00:10:09,966 so other than those rules, there are no rules. 193 00:10:10,034 --> 00:10:12,369 Now before we turn in, I would just love it 194 00:10:12,436 --> 00:10:14,938 if you guys could play a song for me. 195 00:10:15,039 --> 00:10:18,742 The thing is Bret is overtired 196 00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:21,878 and there's a risk of throat polyps. 197 00:10:21,946 --> 00:10:23,547 - Oh. - What are they? 198 00:10:23,614 --> 00:10:26,516 Why don't I play a little something for all of us on the harp? 199 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:30,287 Oh, Doug! No. 200 00:10:30,354 --> 00:10:31,988 That is such a womanly instrument. 201 00:10:32,056 --> 00:10:34,324 Have you ever heard of a man playing a harp? 202 00:10:34,392 --> 00:10:36,393 - My dad plays the harp. - I've never heard... 203 00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:38,295 I've never seen a man play a harp. 204 00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:44,067 There you go, Bret... 205 00:10:44,135 --> 00:10:46,736 - nice and tucked in. - Thank you, Mel. 206 00:10:46,804 --> 00:10:49,306 - Keep you... - it's very tight. I can't really move. 207 00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:52,809 - Okay, sweet dreams. - Thank you. 208 00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:55,812 Mel, I was wondering if we could have the heat turned down. 209 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,480 - It's quite hot in here. - Yes, very hot. 210 00:10:57,548 --> 00:11:00,483 - Oh, the heater's broken. - But I saw you turning it... 211 00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:02,986 yocould always push these back a little bit. 212 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,456 - That's okay. - Okay. 213 00:11:06,524 --> 00:11:11,094 Okay. Well, I am going to lock the door 214 00:11:11,162 --> 00:11:14,598 - for security, so... - would you be able to leave that open? 215 00:11:14,665 --> 00:11:17,801 No, it's a very dangerous neighborhood. 216 00:11:17,869 --> 00:11:20,270 I sometimes go to the toilet in the middle of the night. 217 00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:22,305 Mm-hmm. I know. 218 00:11:22,373 --> 00:11:24,341 You guys are so cute. 219 00:11:24,408 --> 00:11:25,942 I could just eat you up. 220 00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:27,644 Good night. 221 00:11:54,805 --> 00:11:57,874 ¶ petrov, yelyena and me ¶ 222 00:11:57,942 --> 00:12:01,311 ¶ lost but happy at sea ¶ 223 00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:04,281 ¶ petrov and yelyena said to me... ¶ 224 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,450 shouldn't we have something to eat? 225 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:11,288 ¶ I say there are plenty of fish in the sea ¶ 226 00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:14,424 ¶ but all they can see is me ¶ 227 00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:17,594 - ¶ they said... ¶ - any last requests? 228 00:12:17,662 --> 00:12:21,131 ¶ biding my time, I said, "yes ¶ 229 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:24,568 ¶ I want to party, just we three ¶ 230 00:12:24,635 --> 00:12:27,904 ¶ lost but happy at sea" ¶ 231 00:12:29,473 --> 00:12:32,375 ¶ so we drank all night from the keg ¶ 232 00:12:32,443 --> 00:12:36,479 ¶ I passed out and I woke with one leg, I said... ¶ 233 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:39,683 "petrov, have you seen my leg?" ¶ he said... ¶ 234 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,452 - no. - ¶ and he went back to bed ¶ 235 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,689 ¶ but he looked suspiciously well-fed ¶ 236 00:12:45,756 --> 00:12:49,626 ¶ three days later, they're hungry again ¶ 237 00:12:49,694 --> 00:12:53,430 - ¶ they said... ¶ - any last requests, my friend, again? 238 00:12:53,497 --> 00:12:57,000 So I said, "do you know any rolling stones?" 239 00:12:57,068 --> 00:13:00,537 It was a hilarious moment in a very bleak bleak time of my life. 240 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:04,341 ¶ so we danced all night to the rolling stones ¶ 241 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:07,644 ¶ when I awoke, they were chewing on bones ¶ 242 00:13:07,712 --> 00:13:10,714 ¶ yelyena was supping blood from a cup... ¶ 243 00:13:10,781 --> 00:13:13,383 that's when I knew that something was up. 244 00:13:13,451 --> 00:13:16,119 Hey, petrov, what is that you are eating? 245 00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:18,622 - It's fish. - How come it looks so much like my arm 246 00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,624 which has been hacked off at the elbow last night? 247 00:13:20,691 --> 00:13:22,626 Oh, it's an arm fish. 248 00:13:22,693 --> 00:13:25,929 ¶ later that night, while they were asleep ¶ 249 00:13:25,997 --> 00:13:29,232 ¶ I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meat ¶ 250 00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:32,569 ¶ I was very ill, but revenge is so sweet ¶ 251 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:36,306 ¶ unlike the last meal my comrades would eat ¶ 252 00:13:44,048 --> 00:13:47,450 ¶ when I awoke, they were already dead ¶ 253 00:13:47,518 --> 00:13:50,720 ¶ all that was left of me was my head ¶ 254 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:54,124 ¶ no, not dead, just a head ¶ 255 00:13:54,158 --> 00:13:58,328 ¶ lost but so lonely ¶ 256 00:13:58,396 --> 00:14:01,965 ¶ at sea. ¶ 257 00:14:08,506 --> 00:14:11,174 okay, now in this scene 258 00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:13,109 you're back in new zealand, you're on your farm, 259 00:14:13,177 --> 00:14:15,011 you're frustrated with your uncle and auntie 260 00:14:15,079 --> 00:14:17,514 because they won't let you go into town to play your music. 261 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:20,083 Ready? Go. 262 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,185 "I just want to play guitar with my friends." 263 00:14:22,253 --> 00:14:24,487 We need you back on the farm, Bret, 264 00:14:24,555 --> 00:14:27,524 - just for one more season. - But that's a whole another year away. 265 00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:29,259 Listen to your uncle, Bret! 266 00:14:30,261 --> 00:14:31,828 Murray, who's she? 267 00:14:31,863 --> 00:14:33,930 Don't look at me. I'm not here, Bret. 268 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,466 You're in your world, okay? 269 00:14:36,534 --> 00:14:38,735 - Where'd you get this stuff from? - You're talking to me now? 270 00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:41,371 Just... if we... can we stop rehearsal for a second? 271 00:14:41,472 --> 00:14:43,139 Stop there. Okay, stop there. 272 00:14:43,207 --> 00:14:46,343 This seems very similar to "star wars." 273 00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:49,379 I've mixed you up with... what's his name? 274 00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:51,514 - Luke skywalker. ...luke skywalker. 275 00:14:51,582 --> 00:14:53,416 Damn it. 276 00:14:53,484 --> 00:14:57,053 - Yeah. - Sorry, guys, you won't be needed for this scene. 277 00:14:57,121 --> 00:14:59,656 So you've got a dad and a mom instead of an auntie and uncle. 278 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:01,825 - Other than that it's the same. - So the house is the same? 279 00:15:01,893 --> 00:15:05,061 - This still looks... - houses look kind of different. 280 00:15:05,129 --> 00:15:08,632 - You were a farmer, though, weren't you? - No, I was never a farmer. 281 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,500 - You weren't? - Who told you I was a farmer? 282 00:15:10,568 --> 00:15:12,636 - I thought you were a farmer... - never ever a farmer. 283 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:16,172 ...back in new zealand. - No, not at all. I was a shepherd. 284 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,642 - A shepherd? - He was ahepherd, not a farmer. 285 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,411 - Oh, here's me... - I can't imagine this guy farming. 286 00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:24,114 - I wouldn't know what to do. - I don't know where I got that idea. 287 00:15:24,181 --> 00:15:25,982 And what about you? You're a farmer. 288 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,717 - No, I was a shepherd too. - Yeah, Jemaine's a shepherd. 289 00:15:27,785 --> 00:15:29,286 - Both shepherds? - We were both shepherds. 290 00:15:29,353 --> 00:15:31,388 - That's how we know each other. - We met each other one time 291 00:15:31,422 --> 00:15:33,657 when Jemaine lost a couple of his sheep and I found them. 292 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,259 They had wandered over to Bret's paddock. 293 00:15:36,327 --> 00:15:39,596 What about the wise old guy that you had to find 294 00:15:39,697 --> 00:15:41,431 and then he taught you to fight your father? 295 00:15:41,532 --> 00:15:42,866 I think that's "star wars." 296 00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:44,701 All right, scratch that character. 297 00:15:48,839 --> 00:15:50,640 Yeah, no, we won't be needing that, greg. 298 00:15:50,708 --> 00:15:52,943 Thanks, though. 299 00:15:57,315 --> 00:15:59,115 We need to talk. 300 00:15:59,183 --> 00:16:01,284 We had to leave because we had rehearsal, 301 00:16:01,352 --> 00:16:03,119 - and we snuck out. - It's not that. It's not that. 302 00:16:03,221 --> 00:16:05,422 We had to be there by 2:30, so... 303 00:16:05,489 --> 00:16:08,925 Doug and I have something very important to talk to you about. 304 00:16:08,993 --> 00:16:13,496 We have decided to spend some time apart. 305 00:16:13,564 --> 00:16:15,065 - What? - Oh. 306 00:16:15,132 --> 00:16:17,901 And I know this is gonna be hard on you two, 307 00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:20,604 okay, but we want you to know that we both love you 308 00:16:20,671 --> 00:16:23,740 very very very very very much. 309 00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:25,275 But where will we live? 310 00:16:25,343 --> 00:16:27,777 Well, just because Doug and I don't wanna 311 00:16:27,845 --> 00:16:31,915 be together anymore doesn't mean that we don't want to be with you. 312 00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:36,753 - This isn't about you. - Well, actually, Mel, it is about them. 313 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:39,890 Do not say that in front of them, Doug. It's damaging. 314 00:16:41,492 --> 00:16:43,093 Now we've talked about it 315 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,629 and we've decided that, 316 00:16:45,696 --> 00:16:49,099 Bret, you will stay with me 317 00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:52,068 and, Jemaine, you will stay with Doug. 318 00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,304 But I will fight you, Doug, 319 00:16:54,372 --> 00:16:55,772 and I will get you back, Jemaine. 320 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,208 Why can't we all just stay together? 321 00:16:58,276 --> 00:17:02,379 Oh, Bret, you'll understand when you're older, okay? 322 00:17:02,446 --> 00:17:05,949 - You're so young. - I'm 32. 323 00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:09,719 Now, Jemaine, don't worry. You'll still see a lot of me. 324 00:17:09,787 --> 00:17:12,589 Mmm, um, yeah, probably. 325 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,624 And Bret, you can still see Doug. 326 00:17:14,692 --> 00:17:16,660 - Mel... - mm-hmm. 327 00:17:16,727 --> 00:17:19,629 ...are you wearing my shirt? 328 00:17:19,697 --> 00:17:22,165 Yes, I am. 329 00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:14,718 Okay, cast meeting. Bret as Bret. 330 00:18:14,785 --> 00:18:16,786 - Yup. - Jemaine as Jemaine. 331 00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:18,755 - Yes. - Writer, director, producer 332 00:18:18,823 --> 00:18:20,891 Murray hewitt present. 333 00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:22,659 - Oh, hello, greg. That looks good. - Hey. 334 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:24,628 - Sheep. - Good one. 335 00:18:24,695 --> 00:18:27,864 All right, now we've got some industry types in tonight, 336 00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:29,933 - so just be aware of that. - Recording industry? 337 00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:32,402 No, the embassy industry. 338 00:18:32,470 --> 00:18:34,437 What, some of your mates from embassies? 339 00:18:34,505 --> 00:18:36,406 Yeah, different embassies. 340 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,442 Right, "lines." okay, how are you going to know your lines? 341 00:18:39,544 --> 00:18:41,511 - Well, we've memorized them. - Yeah, memorized them. 342 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:44,381 - Who told you to do that? - I thought that's what you were supposed to do. 343 00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:45,916 No, you've gotta write your lines down. 344 00:18:45,983 --> 00:18:48,218 - Where are we gonna write them? - All the professional actors 345 00:18:48,286 --> 00:18:50,020 write their lines down on each other's clothing. 346 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,088 - Do they? - Yes, of course they do. 347 00:18:52,156 --> 00:18:53,957 - Really? - If you get stuck on a line, 348 00:18:54,025 --> 00:18:56,393 you go in like this. "Oh yeah, that's right." 349 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:58,461 "Yes, we're supposed to go there." 350 00:18:58,529 --> 00:19:00,463 We've got 300 pages of lines. 351 00:19:00,531 --> 00:19:02,732 The longer the play, the bigger the shirt. 352 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,902 You'll always notice that... big costumes. Why do they always go like this? 353 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,804 There's lines covered in all the clothing. 354 00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:09,773 - Well, we've memorized it, so we don't need it. - Okay. I know, 355 00:19:09,807 --> 00:19:12,275 but it's too late now. I hope you can remember them. 356 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:15,579 Now, "breathing." Bret, you've got to remember to keep breathing, okay? 357 00:19:15,646 --> 00:19:17,047 - The whole time. - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 358 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,249 Yesterday's rehearsal you got yourself worked up, 359 00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:21,051 you stopped breathing and you fainted. 360 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:22,352 - No, I didn't. - You were on the ground there for a while, 361 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,354 - about five minutes. - Yeah, about five minutes. 362 00:19:24,422 --> 00:19:27,290 - I really got bored of that bit. - Unconscious for five minutes? 363 00:19:27,325 --> 00:19:29,693 Mm-hmm. Okay, and finally, 364 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,162 Jemaine, just a little point with your acting. 365 00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:35,165 I've noticed your acting tends to be a bit boring. 366 00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,934 It's okay for the first minute, then I kind of drift off. 367 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:40,003 So kind of... if you can try and stop that, that'd be great. 368 00:19:40,071 --> 00:19:42,472 - Hey, malcolm. - Hey. 369 00:19:42,506 --> 00:19:44,574 Have a good one tonight. You're my favorite actor. 370 00:19:46,277 --> 00:19:47,844 All right, this is it! 371 00:19:47,945 --> 00:19:49,846 Onto stage. Off you go. 372 00:19:49,914 --> 00:19:52,115 Hang on! You haven't got your costumes on! What are you wearing? 373 00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:54,351 Quickly, get your costumes on! Down that way! 374 00:19:58,089 --> 00:20:01,892 Jemaine, nobody wants to listen to the music of a couple of shepherds. 375 00:20:01,959 --> 00:20:04,828 I know of a place... 376 00:20:08,466 --> 00:20:10,934 somewhere we can play music every day 377 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:12,836 without having to shepherd. 378 00:20:12,904 --> 00:20:15,438 A place called... 379 00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:20,844 ¶ America ¶ 380 00:20:22,547 --> 00:20:24,648 ¶ I've been shepherding day and night ¶ 381 00:20:24,715 --> 00:20:27,350 ¶ saving for the flight to America ¶ 382 00:20:27,418 --> 00:20:29,152 ¶ America... ¶ 383 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:32,055 - don't go there! - They're crazy! 384 00:20:32,156 --> 00:20:34,090 ¶ in the paddock every day ¶ 385 00:20:34,158 --> 00:20:36,860 ¶ trying to work my way to America... ¶ 386 00:20:36,928 --> 00:20:40,030 - they'll kill youse! - They have guns! 387 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:50,674 Bret, look. There she is. 388 00:20:52,410 --> 00:20:54,744 It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen 389 00:20:54,812 --> 00:20:59,583 ¶ welcome to the land of opportunity ¶ 390 00:20:59,684 --> 00:21:03,887 ¶ I am the statue of liberty... ¶ 391 00:21:03,955 --> 00:21:06,790 welcome. Welcome. 392 00:21:06,857 --> 00:21:09,059 Forget about it. 393 00:21:10,761 --> 00:21:13,396 ¶ my head's stuck in this chair ¶ 394 00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:19,402 ¶ gotta get my head out of this chair... ¶ 395 00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:26,943 - Jemaine! - Hey, there, man, would you... 396 00:21:28,379 --> 00:21:30,780 miss, would you be interested in... 397 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:37,420 ¶ I'm selling myself on the street ¶ 398 00:21:37,488 --> 00:21:41,424 ¶ just trying to make ends meet ¶ 399 00:21:43,027 --> 00:21:45,061 ¶ who will buy ¶ 400 00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:47,397 ¶ my body? ¶ 401 00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:50,867 ¶ my body. ¶ 402 00:21:52,870 --> 00:21:55,372 - is there a problem with our rent? - Yeah, there's a problem. 403 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:58,408 - Your money ain't good here! - But wel be out on the streets. 404 00:21:58,476 --> 00:22:00,744 - We've got nothing. - We'll have nowhere to live. 405 00:22:00,811 --> 00:22:04,147 You're in America now. You pay with American dollars. 406 00:22:04,215 --> 00:22:07,617 Now scram, you filthy illegal immigrants. 407 00:22:10,221 --> 00:22:12,022 You've got one month! 408 00:22:12,089 --> 00:22:15,292 Illegal immigrants, illegal immigrants... 409 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,994 ¶ we've overstayed our welcome, we've overstayed our visas ¶ 410 00:22:18,062 --> 00:22:20,964 ¶ nobody cares, nobody needs us! ¶ 411 00:22:20,998 --> 00:22:24,167 ¶ nobody needs us! ¶ 412 00:22:26,270 --> 00:22:28,972 well, guys, I've got an idea. 413 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,941 We need more than ideas. We need money. 414 00:22:31,008 --> 00:22:34,778 - Wait wait, hear him out. - ¶ we'll put on a musical! ¶ 415 00:22:34,845 --> 00:22:37,047 - it's genius! - It's marvelous! 416 00:22:37,114 --> 00:22:39,950 ¶ a wonderful musical... ¶ 417 00:22:45,756 --> 00:22:47,190 yes! 418 00:23:04,809 --> 00:23:06,309 Murray was right. 419 00:23:06,377 --> 00:23:09,145 It was a great idea to put on a musical. 420 00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:11,047 Murray's the greatest. 421 00:23:11,115 --> 00:23:13,750 Jemaine, I think we've made it in America. 422 00:23:13,818 --> 00:23:16,720 Yeah, but we mustn't forget where we came from. 423 00:23:16,787 --> 00:23:18,855 I remember. 424 00:23:24,795 --> 00:23:26,796 Oh, Doug. 425 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,536 Whoo! Look at the harp player! 426 00:23:33,938 --> 00:23:36,706 It is manly. 427 00:23:36,774 --> 00:23:38,842 Oh! 428 00:23:38,910 --> 00:23:41,177 - Hey. - Well done. 429 00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:43,079 - Bravo! - Good harping. 430 00:23:43,147 --> 00:23:45,015 Bravo, guys. 431 00:23:45,082 --> 00:23:48,552 - Is it a hit? - Well, it depends how you define "hit." 432 00:23:48,619 --> 00:23:50,253 - You know, did people... - did people like it? 433 00:23:50,321 --> 00:23:53,189 No, I don't think it was that sort of hit. 434 00:23:53,257 --> 00:23:55,926 - No, I didn't think so. - But you enjoyed yourselves, right? 435 00:23:55,993 --> 00:23:57,861 Well, that's what it's about. 436 00:23:57,929 --> 00:23:59,930 Jemaine, your acting... really good. 437 00:23:59,997 --> 00:24:01,598 - Thank you. - Okay, you're still a bit boring. 438 00:24:01,666 --> 00:24:05,602 And Bret, great cover on the fainting. 439 00:24:05,670 --> 00:24:09,072 I've got lots of news... uh, good news, 440 00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:11,875 got some... just a little bit of terrible news there, 441 00:24:11,943 --> 00:24:15,011 - but, umm... - well, let's start with the good news. 442 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:17,581 - Okay. Well, "we did it." - "We did it." 443 00:24:17,648 --> 00:24:19,583 I've written that there. That's good. 444 00:24:19,650 --> 00:24:21,618 - "We did it." that's the good news? - That's it? 445 00:24:21,686 --> 00:24:24,054 Yeah, we did it! So that's something to be proud of. 446 00:24:24,121 --> 00:24:26,957 - What's the terrible news? - Just a bit of terrible news. 447 00:24:27,024 --> 00:24:29,659 Umm... 448 00:24:29,727 --> 00:24:33,230 remember I invited some embassy officials to see the show? 449 00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:36,566 - Well, that was good. - Unfortunately the play Drew 450 00:24:36,634 --> 00:24:38,635 a lot of attention to your illegal immigrant status. 451 00:24:38,703 --> 00:24:40,270 Well, that's what it's about, isn't it? 452 00:24:40,338 --> 00:24:43,807 Exactly. And the dance number "illegal immigrants." 453 00:24:43,875 --> 00:24:45,609 - It was a good number. - A great number... 454 00:24:45,643 --> 00:24:49,312 - ah. ...but not great to perform in front of these people. 455 00:24:49,413 --> 00:24:51,815 So overall great, yes, 456 00:24:51,916 --> 00:24:55,652 - but also not great. - So average? 457 00:24:55,753 --> 00:24:57,487 Uh... 458 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:01,791 - oh, do they want to meet us? - They want to see you, yeah. 459 00:25:01,859 --> 00:25:05,662 So in addition to the good news and the terrible news, 460 00:25:05,730 --> 00:25:07,831 there's also some... 461 00:25:07,932 --> 00:25:10,500 truly awful news. 462 00:25:23,881 --> 00:25:26,983 Good shepherding today, guys! 463 00:25:27,051 --> 00:25:29,019 Thanks, Murray! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net