1 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,844 This is Paul Slippery. 2 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,163 He is 44 years old. 3 00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:55,978 His life is about to fall apart. 4 00:01:14,394 --> 00:01:15,585 What are you doing? 5 00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:19,334 I'm examining my upper arms. I'm not happy with my upper arms. 6 00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:21,970 No woman over 40 is happy with their upper arms. 7 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:24,365 No, I mean, why are you getting dressed? 8 00:01:24,603 --> 00:01:27,091 Why are you getting dressed so... fashionably? 9 00:01:27,339 --> 00:01:29,491 You're going somewhere. Where are you going? 10 00:01:29,492 --> 00:01:31,531 To work, Paul. I've got a job, remember? 11 00:01:33,811 --> 00:01:35,897 Course, of course, you've got a job. 12 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,957 - Something's to do with town planning. - Not even close. 13 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:50,909 What's the matter with me? Am I going senile? 14 00:01:51,677 --> 00:01:53,034 Yes, I think you probably are. 15 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,603 - Did you just say something? - What? 16 00:02:00,143 --> 00:02:01,771 Just then. Did you say something? 17 00:02:02,677 --> 00:02:03,465 No. 18 00:02:04,787 --> 00:02:06,934 But that didn't stop you hearing it, did it? 19 00:02:13,881 --> 00:02:15,306 Estelle! 20 00:02:16,082 --> 00:02:17,914 Estelle, I've just had a very... 21 00:02:19,563 --> 00:02:21,560 I'm feeling really weird. 22 00:02:22,146 --> 00:02:24,637 - Consult a doctor! - I am a doctor. 23 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,182 Good. Well done, stay with that. 24 00:02:27,832 --> 00:02:30,058 Now that thing behind you is the front door. 25 00:02:30,580 --> 00:02:33,007 Go through it, keep walking, until you reach the kitchen. 26 00:02:33,577 --> 00:02:37,400 In there you'll find food. Give it to your children! After that you're on your own. 27 00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:38,550 Public relations! 28 00:02:39,599 --> 00:02:41,767 Market research... market... market relations! 29 00:02:41,806 --> 00:02:43,000 Goodbye, Paul. 30 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:49,388 Well, good luck with... it. 31 00:03:02,114 --> 00:03:04,117 Rory! Are you in there? 32 00:03:04,677 --> 00:03:05,954 Are you... alone? 33 00:03:07,391 --> 00:03:10,868 - Edwin, is he in there? - Why don't you just go in? 34 00:03:11,294 --> 00:03:13,510 No fear. There could be naked women in there. 35 00:03:13,823 --> 00:03:14,505 Go in. 36 00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:16,517 I thought Laura stayed here last night. 37 00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:20,374 She stayed but she slept on the sofa. You know what I mean. 38 00:03:21,061 --> 00:03:22,345 No. 39 00:03:28,905 --> 00:03:30,315 You're going to Work Experience today? 40 00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:32,616 And if so, what work are you gonna experience? 41 00:03:34,874 --> 00:03:36,758 And why did Laura sleep downstairs last night? 42 00:03:36,997 --> 00:03:39,782 And what are the luxury seafood goujons doing in your room? 43 00:03:40,325 --> 00:03:42,504 I thought they were something else. 44 00:03:47,404 --> 00:03:49,784 - Olives, anyone? - Mom does beans. 45 00:03:50,046 --> 00:03:52,041 All right, there's no need to say it like that. 46 00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:55,132 Is Laura here? What's up with her and Rory? 47 00:03:55,557 --> 00:03:56,392 They had this row. 48 00:03:56,828 --> 00:03:58,181 Is that why she spent the night on the sofa? 49 00:03:58,766 --> 00:04:01,504 Because generally when she comes over the two of them are normally... 50 00:04:03,963 --> 00:04:05,827 That's great, dad. What is it that they do again? 51 00:04:05,959 --> 00:04:09,089 Oh, I can still remember. 24 hours a day, giving it... 52 00:04:10,308 --> 00:04:11,916 - Laura, hi! - Hi. 53 00:04:13,381 --> 00:04:15,340 I didn't see you standing there. 54 00:04:16,826 --> 00:04:19,860 So, what's all this about a row between you and Rory? 55 00:04:20,271 --> 00:04:23,567 - It was about Daniel. - Rory seems to think Laura's interested in me. 56 00:04:24,775 --> 00:04:28,044 - But you're going out with Laura's sister! - But she's in Thailand. 57 00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:31,894 So are you interested in Daniel? 58 00:04:33,257 --> 00:04:35,078 Daniel? Is she interested in you? 59 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,774 Where are the beans? 60 00:04:43,611 --> 00:04:44,526 Hello? 61 00:04:46,107 --> 00:04:47,743 Yeah, the beans are in the cupboard on the right. 62 00:04:48,743 --> 00:04:50,532 Well, put the handle back on... 63 00:04:51,364 --> 00:04:54,339 Darling, you don't need a tin opener. There's just that little thing you can pull. 64 00:04:54,850 --> 00:04:56,070 All right, be careful, it's very sharp. 65 00:04:56,559 --> 00:04:57,528 Okay, bye. 66 00:04:59,148 --> 00:05:00,176 How old is he? 67 00:05:01,283 --> 00:05:03,812 45, next birthday. 68 00:05:06,954 --> 00:05:08,546 Okay, time to go! 69 00:05:09,224 --> 00:05:10,639 You're staying here today, Daniel? 70 00:05:11,284 --> 00:05:14,383 You're a graduate now, shouldn't you be... taking over the world or something? 71 00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:16,475 He's gonna try to seduce my girlfriend. 72 00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:20,383 - Really? - I'm gonna chill, feel the vibe. 73 00:05:20,799 --> 00:05:24,202 I.e. yes, I am going to seduce Rory's girlfriend. 74 00:05:26,966 --> 00:05:28,376 Okay, let's go! 75 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,564 See that? 76 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:53,632 That is a fiftysomething kissing a thirtysomething. 77 00:05:53,967 --> 00:05:55,618 In public, at 8:49 in the morning. 78 00:05:56,811 --> 00:05:58,035 Doesn't it make you sick? 79 00:05:59,558 --> 00:06:01,267 Would you like a thirtysomething? 80 00:06:01,698 --> 00:06:05,681 Certainly not! I like your mother exactly the age she is. 81 00:06:06,789 --> 00:06:09,318 If she was any younger, everyone would want to get their hands on her. 82 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,120 Disgusting old man. 83 00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:17,287 Oh my God, it's Nobby! Nobby! 84 00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:19,183 - Paul! - Who's Nobby? 85 00:06:19,598 --> 00:06:22,244 Who's Nobby? Nobby's... Nobby's a legend! 86 00:06:23,586 --> 00:06:24,571 Paul! 87 00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:28,431 This is a very old friend of mine, darling. Paul Slippery. Who's also my doctor. 88 00:06:28,799 --> 00:06:29,933 - Hi. - Hi! 89 00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:32,478 You do! You're desperate for one! 90 00:06:32,872 --> 00:06:33,894 No, I am not de... 91 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,201 Did you just say something? 92 00:06:37,781 --> 00:06:38,734 No. 93 00:06:43,508 --> 00:06:44,741 Well, we have to go. 94 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,281 - Goodbye, Nobby's friend. - Bye. 95 00:06:47,685 --> 00:06:49,975 And lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of love. 96 00:06:55,118 --> 00:06:57,631 Hey, baby! Give us some love! 97 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,579 Are you waiting for Ashley Ramp? 98 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:17,635 No, Colin Cross. 99 00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:22,417 He's been sent to Scotland. We're all going to be sent to Scotland. 100 00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:24,861 You're going to see Ashley Ramp. 101 00:07:27,598 --> 00:07:29,520 Jackson and Poole. 102 00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:35,678 What did you do with the tablets? 103 00:07:37,569 --> 00:07:39,278 The tablets! 104 00:07:42,952 --> 00:07:44,603 Mrs Neil has cancelled up on you. 105 00:07:44,982 --> 00:07:47,197 - Why? - She says she's not feeling well. 106 00:07:50,111 --> 00:07:51,086 Hi, Surinder! 107 00:07:51,373 --> 00:07:52,470 Paul, what are you doing here? 108 00:07:53,088 --> 00:07:56,430 What do you mean what am I doing here? I work here! I heal the sick! 109 00:07:56,748 --> 00:08:00,292 We discussed this! You don't work on Tuesdays, don't you remember? 110 00:08:02,995 --> 00:08:04,979 Surinder, I need to talk to you. 111 00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:09,771 I actually think I may be cracking up! 112 00:08:10,703 --> 00:08:13,517 I'm serious, I... I can't remember things. Anything at all. 113 00:08:13,552 --> 00:08:15,702 I can't even remember when we last had sex. 114 00:08:16,108 --> 00:08:19,002 We have never had sex, Paul. You're a happily married man! 115 00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:20,148 With Estelle! 116 00:08:20,638 --> 00:08:22,581 I can't remember when Estelle and I last had sex. 117 00:08:23,061 --> 00:08:24,775 About six months ago from the look of you. 118 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,049 - What did you just say? - Nothing. 119 00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,450 Well, there you are, you see, that's the other thing! 120 00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,159 I keep thinking that I can hear people's thoughts! 121 00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:34,450 I just heard you think that I looked as if I hadn't had it for six months! 122 00:08:34,871 --> 00:08:35,888 I wasn't thinking that. 123 00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:38,247 I was thinking you looked like you hadn't had it for a year. 124 00:08:38,523 --> 00:08:40,312 What's the matter with me? Is it Pilfrey? 125 00:08:40,956 --> 00:08:43,310 Why is Pilfrey getting to me? Why do I feel threatened by Pilfrey? 126 00:08:43,577 --> 00:08:45,078 You feel I invade your space. 127 00:08:45,393 --> 00:08:46,941 You feel I'm younger than you! And I am. 128 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,300 You're challenged by my ideas! 129 00:08:49,545 --> 00:08:51,089 Ideas! Do you have any ideas? 130 00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:56,073 What I have is the future, Paul. Roll up your Sasco wall plan and hang up your stapler! 131 00:08:56,446 --> 00:08:58,145 We're entering the digital realm. 132 00:08:58,390 --> 00:09:02,053 Online surgery, paperless medicine, digital disease, digital cure. 133 00:09:02,393 --> 00:09:05,535 This is year zero, people! Think digital! 134 00:09:08,899 --> 00:09:11,114 Ian Duncan to see Dr Pilfrey. 135 00:09:12,564 --> 00:09:15,507 That's Nobby! Nobby's my patient! 136 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:21,183 - Is Dr Slippery not available? - He's not here today, I'm afraid. 137 00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:23,228 See? You're not here today. 138 00:09:23,712 --> 00:09:26,795 Can I go into the consulting room with him and... you know... 139 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,282 - It's all right. You wait here, darling. - Okay. 140 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,211 Lots and lots and lots and lots of love! 141 00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:43,292 Go home, Paul. Enjoy the day! 142 00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:47,706 These people need me! 143 00:10:25,385 --> 00:10:27,706 What is this? You should be at school! 144 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,092 It's our art project! It's called "My Penis". 145 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,829 - You should be at work! - No, I should not be at work. 146 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,189 It's a Tuesday, and I should be at home, reconnecting with my family 147 00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:38,606 while Estelle fulfills her potential. 148 00:10:39,128 --> 00:10:41,439 Yeah, it scares the crap out of you, doesn't it? 149 00:10:41,753 --> 00:10:44,000 - No, it doesn't! - What? 150 00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:47,387 That'll be the fridges! 151 00:11:21,677 --> 00:11:25,445 - Did they offer you a coffee? - No, they didn't. 152 00:11:27,373 --> 00:11:29,960 Okay, listen, it's ding-ding, all change around here. 153 00:11:30,402 --> 00:11:33,514 Some people are off to Scotland, some people are going to Bristol, 154 00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:35,515 some people are going to be sent even further away. 155 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,363 It's a time of managerial change. 156 00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:42,303 Only last week I was made assistant head of human resources, 157 00:11:42,916 --> 00:11:45,759 but then next week I too may have to go to Scotland. 158 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,363 Sir, I don't think I could go to Scotland... 159 00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:54,237 Eventually I'd have to go to Scotland. Cause I don't fit in with the Annabelle Goodwin's lot. 160 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:57,996 I am now and always will be the man who „ordered the snails”. 161 00:11:59,205 --> 00:11:59,956 C'est la vie. 162 00:12:00,935 --> 00:12:02,182 Bristol. 163 00:12:02,548 --> 00:12:05,072 Do you want me to go to Bristol? I didn't know the job was in Bristol. 164 00:12:05,285 --> 00:12:07,299 - Oh no, you won't be sent to Bristol! - Oh, good. 165 00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:11,947 You won't be sent anywhere. You see, the job for which you applied has... 166 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,665 ...well, disappeared in management restructuring. 167 00:12:17,349 --> 00:12:19,840 - So I've been fired? - No! No, no, no, no, no! 168 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:24,021 For us to fire you we had to have taken you on in the first place. 169 00:12:24,484 --> 00:12:28,673 You see, essentially what we're doing is letting you go before taking you on. 170 00:12:32,091 --> 00:12:35,201 Sorry. Human resources. 171 00:12:35,739 --> 00:12:36,547 Yes. 172 00:12:40,525 --> 00:12:43,220 No, certainly, if you give me the paperwork, I can deal with the problem. 173 00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:50,286 Right. Well, it's probably going to be... Wednesday? 174 00:12:57,865 --> 00:12:59,165 Sign here, please! 175 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,178 No, I will not sign! I will not sign because I didn't order these fridges! 176 00:13:02,179 --> 00:13:04,883 - Dad, can I borrow a tenner? - What would I want with 30 fridges? 177 00:13:05,138 --> 00:13:07,908 - 32. - 32... No, no, don't put that there! 178 00:13:08,659 --> 00:13:11,236 - Please, take them away! - Cheers. 179 00:13:12,889 --> 00:13:13,845 Did you just... 180 00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:17,715 Oh, my... I need Estelle! Where does Estelle work? 181 00:13:17,988 --> 00:13:20,675 - She left the number on the fridge! - Which fridge? 182 00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:22,775 Good morning, I'm sorry to bother you. 183 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,518 - I wonder if you had a moment to talk about... - Hello, sorry to bother you. 184 00:13:26,811 --> 00:13:28,531 I wondered if you had a moment to talk about... 185 00:13:31,028 --> 00:13:33,717 - So, you're the new work experience. - Yeah. 186 00:13:34,015 --> 00:13:35,362 Do you have any experience? 187 00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:38,712 - Of... work experience? - Of work. 188 00:13:39,415 --> 00:13:42,374 Well, you know, I mean... I read about it, seen it in films... 189 00:13:43,307 --> 00:13:49,948 Two rules of selling. Stay polite, make the customer feel they're in charge. 190 00:13:50,688 --> 00:13:53,841 - Jesus! - Three rules. No personal calls. 191 00:13:54,135 --> 00:13:57,744 It's not a call, it's a text. My younger brother is actually going to shag my girlfriend. 192 00:13:57,745 --> 00:13:59,000 I have to leave. 193 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,505 That may be a record. 194 00:14:06,798 --> 00:14:11,523 Slippery! Estelle Slippery! She started this morning! 195 00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:15,239 No, I've spoken to them, and they've put me through to you. 196 00:14:16,192 --> 00:14:17,289 I've spoken to them. 197 00:14:17,848 --> 00:14:18,950 And them. 198 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,051 Yes, I'm absolutely sure. Look, she's my wife, I should know! 199 00:14:23,647 --> 00:14:26,810 She left me this number, Jackson and Poole, please, I need my wife! 200 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,722 You should be at school! 201 00:14:30,792 --> 00:14:32,661 No, I wasn't talking... yes, actually, I was talking to you! 202 00:14:33,019 --> 00:14:35,494 You should be at school! You should be at "finding my wife"-school! 203 00:14:37,123 --> 00:14:41,064 Oh, I see, so you're... you're saying she just made the whole thing up! 204 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:47,156 Thank you. 205 00:14:48,992 --> 00:14:50,436 Look, who ordered these fridges? 206 00:14:50,437 --> 00:14:51,948 - Edwin. - Daniel did. 207 00:14:52,171 --> 00:14:53,710 - Daniel! What are you up to? - Chill, be cool. 208 00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:55,345 No, I will not be cool! 209 00:14:55,579 --> 00:14:57,907 Estelle is just lying to me about where she is, 210 00:14:58,092 --> 00:15:00,328 I have these voices in my head, there are fridges, 211 00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:02,479 and I can't remember things! 212 00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:03,789 What sort of things? 213 00:15:03,992 --> 00:15:06,484 Well, obviously I can't remember the things I can't remember, can I? 214 00:15:06,691 --> 00:15:11,201 All right! Things. Things like... 215 00:15:12,362 --> 00:15:16,366 ...it's your 20th wedding anniversary today? Those kind of things? 216 00:15:44,329 --> 00:15:45,324 Lovely dog. 217 00:15:46,065 --> 00:15:49,541 - You think? - Yes. 218 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,146 I thought it was hideous, actually. 219 00:16:05,588 --> 00:16:09,954 So, what brings you to this bench? 220 00:16:13,075 --> 00:16:15,573 I had this rather odd experience. 221 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:20,226 I was due to start my first... my first job for some time and... 222 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:24,065 when I got there, it... it had gone. 223 00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:28,809 Oh, sorry to hear that. 224 00:16:31,214 --> 00:16:34,743 I just lost my entire workforce. 225 00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:36,118 Oh God, really? 226 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,014 She was called Carol. 227 00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:43,992 Not an easy person, mind you. Even more than I am. 228 00:16:45,979 --> 00:16:47,411 I suppose I... 229 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:52,076 I suppose I'd better ring my family. Tell them what happened. 230 00:16:56,298 --> 00:16:57,571 Rory, darling, it's me. 231 00:16:58,146 --> 00:17:00,717 I'm in the park, talking to a very nice lady, 232 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,259 and I've had a bit of a life-changing morning. Can you call me? 233 00:17:05,376 --> 00:17:07,730 - Is that your husband? - No, Rory's my eldest. 234 00:17:08,634 --> 00:17:11,339 So it really was your first day back? 235 00:17:11,771 --> 00:17:14,645 You spent years being a housewife, a mother. 236 00:17:15,247 --> 00:17:16,776 Oh God, is it that obvious? 237 00:17:17,042 --> 00:17:22,650 The husband wears the wife on his linen, the wife wears the husband on her face. 238 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,893 I bet your husband looks very smart. 239 00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:29,613 Oh God, no, Paul's an absolute mess! 240 00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:35,086 I think I'll just walk around and think about it. 241 00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:37,699 - Nice to meet you. - Bye. 242 00:17:50,712 --> 00:17:55,035 Listen, I want you both to talk it through. Violence accomplishes nothing. 243 00:17:55,036 --> 00:17:59,758 - I disagree. - Remember, I'm the master of Ten Chao Wai. 244 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,282 Ten Chao Wai is a restaurant, Daniel. 245 00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:06,222 - Now, look, you're both responsible adults... - Come on, dad, smack their bottoms, 246 00:18:06,398 --> 00:18:08,267 - you know you want it! - You should be at school! 247 00:18:08,512 --> 00:18:09,971 Come on, come on, come on. 248 00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:13,900 In this house we are calm. We are reasonable. 249 00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:16,733 - Mom just rang. - Give me that. Give me that! 250 00:18:16,978 --> 00:18:18,608 - She's my mother! - She's MY mother! 251 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,881 I mean, she's my wife. 252 00:18:20,104 --> 00:18:22,277 - You and me, we should talk. - My room. Okay? 253 00:18:26,729 --> 00:18:27,688 What are you lot doing? 254 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,269 Coming to listen to you guys talk about your relationship! 255 00:18:30,429 --> 00:18:32,245 You should be at school! 256 00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:36,462 Can you just keep it down, please? I'm trying to listen to this. Fridges! 257 00:18:38,341 --> 00:18:39,646 Rory, darling, it's me. 258 00:18:39,865 --> 00:18:42,863 I'm in the park, talking to a very nice lady, 259 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:46,397 I've had a bit of a life-changing morning. Can you call me? 260 00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:59,374 - Hello? - Hi. 261 00:18:59,933 --> 00:19:02,500 Are you... the nice lady? 262 00:19:02,744 --> 00:19:07,052 Well, I try. My name is Gwendolen Hartley. 263 00:19:07,339 --> 00:19:10,854 - But you're on my wife's phone. - That's right. 264 00:19:11,876 --> 00:19:14,666 Well, can I speak to my wife, please? 265 00:19:15,184 --> 00:19:19,795 I'm afraid she's not here at the moment. She went for a little walk. 266 00:19:20,065 --> 00:19:24,400 For a little walk? Why? She's supposed to be at Jackson and Poole! 267 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,365 Can you explain why this is not the case? 268 00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:31,433 - There's no need to be alarmed, Paul. - Paul? What's with the Paul? 269 00:19:31,726 --> 00:19:33,840 You've got my wife's phone, you know my name, 270 00:19:34,026 --> 00:19:35,661 how did we get so intimate all of a sudden? 271 00:19:35,822 --> 00:19:37,525 Look, I'll tell her you called. 272 00:19:38,206 --> 00:19:40,176 Well, thanks, Gwen. 273 00:19:44,024 --> 00:19:46,409 I feel... left out. 274 00:19:46,883 --> 00:19:49,568 Like, you know, something's been decided. 275 00:19:49,987 --> 00:19:50,988 Rory! 276 00:19:53,384 --> 00:19:54,450 Rory! 277 00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:58,321 Rory, I need to speak to you! Your mother's met a nice lady! 278 00:19:58,805 --> 00:20:02,372 - He's so doing drugs. - That's all they did in the '70s, take drugs. 279 00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:06,611 - My dad says alcohol is the worst drug of all. - Let's face it, parents are drug addicts. 280 00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:08,863 I heard that! And I resent it! 281 00:20:09,019 --> 00:20:12,457 The only heroin I've had was Valerie Singleton, and now can I please speak to Rory? 282 00:20:12,681 --> 00:20:14,581 We are discussing my relationship! 283 00:20:14,763 --> 00:20:17,271 Well, I need to speak about my relationship with your wife! 284 00:20:17,558 --> 00:20:18,857 I mean, with your mother! 285 00:20:19,059 --> 00:20:21,599 If I don't sort this out, there won't be a relationship. 286 00:20:21,892 --> 00:20:25,385 I'll have to sell this house and move into bungaloos or something. 287 00:20:25,529 --> 00:20:26,503 What are you talking about? 288 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,550 She's met a woman who's changed her life, apparently. 289 00:20:31,551 --> 00:20:33,256 I've just spoken to her on the phone, she knows my name. 290 00:20:33,405 --> 00:20:34,448 - They're obviously... - Close. 291 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:35,580 - Yes! - Very close. 292 00:20:35,615 --> 00:20:38,340 - Yes. - It starts to make sense! 293 00:20:39,373 --> 00:20:40,098 What does? 294 00:20:42,935 --> 00:20:45,411 Oh my God! Oh my God! 295 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,722 - Look, call her, will you? - Paul, that was a joke. 296 00:20:47,908 --> 00:20:49,623 No, no, it wasn't! This happens! 297 00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:52,828 There was that MP whose wife... Just talk to her, will you? 298 00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:54,436 Tell her I want my wife back! 299 00:20:55,102 --> 00:20:56,672 Oh, I should never have grown that beard. 300 00:20:56,992 --> 00:20:59,660 - Hi. - Hello, this is Estelle Slippery's son. 301 00:20:59,937 --> 00:21:01,449 I understand you've got my mum's mobile phone. 302 00:21:01,656 --> 00:21:04,894 Hello, you must be Rory. 303 00:21:05,101 --> 00:21:07,492 - She knows my name. - What is she, some kind of a witch? 304 00:21:07,764 --> 00:21:11,288 Her voice does have a gruff quality to it. Do you know where my mum is? 305 00:21:11,501 --> 00:21:16,635 I told your father, she went for a walk. To think about things. 306 00:21:17,135 --> 00:21:20,367 I think she may be feeding some ducks at the moment. 307 00:21:20,564 --> 00:21:25,872 Ducks, great job! She's gone for a walk to think about things... apparently. 308 00:21:26,090 --> 00:21:27,697 - They do that a lot, you know. - Who? Lesbians? 309 00:21:27,883 --> 00:21:30,210 - Could you just ask her to give us a call when she gets back? - Or ducks? 310 00:21:30,412 --> 00:21:31,956 We're a bit worried about her, that's all. 311 00:21:32,266 --> 00:21:34,230 Sure. Sure. 312 00:21:34,731 --> 00:21:38,575 - My God, that woman sounds like a serious... - Oh God, God, God! 313 00:21:38,825 --> 00:21:43,070 No, my wife is in a park with a lesbian! And ducks! 314 00:21:43,271 --> 00:21:45,658 - Look, this is your problem, I have to deal with my... - No, listen. 315 00:21:46,051 --> 00:21:48,963 If your mother's in a park with a lesbian, it is very much your problem! 316 00:21:49,151 --> 00:21:51,945 I have no problems with my mum's being in a park with a lesbian! 317 00:21:52,264 --> 00:21:54,602 This house could do with a few more women around the place. 318 00:22:06,946 --> 00:22:09,981 - Hello, Paul. - Stella, Allison, hi. 319 00:22:10,263 --> 00:22:12,302 - Can't stop, I'm afraid, bit of a... - Is Estelle in? 320 00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:15,459 No, she's not, I'm just trying to... What do you want her for? 321 00:22:15,716 --> 00:22:17,786 We just thought she might like to go out and play. 322 00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:23,117 Oh God, they're everywhere! Does Brian know? 323 00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:25,006 - Know what? - Hi. 324 00:22:25,230 --> 00:22:27,035 - Hello, is that Gwendolen? - It is. 325 00:22:27,216 --> 00:22:28,467 Hi, Paul Slippery here. 326 00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:32,557 Sorry, if we got off on the wrong foot earlier, but I've not been feeling a 100%. 327 00:22:32,759 --> 00:22:35,208 - You need your wife. - Yes. No, I... 328 00:22:35,618 --> 00:22:38,675 Look, Gwen, you know, I'm a broad minded man, 329 00:22:38,866 --> 00:22:40,650 and some of my best friends are lesbians. 330 00:22:40,991 --> 00:22:43,249 They're not actually, but if I met a lesbian, 331 00:22:43,478 --> 00:22:45,032 which I did as a matter of fact, on a plane to... 332 00:22:47,401 --> 00:22:49,979 Hold on a second. Surinder, what are you doing here? 333 00:22:50,150 --> 00:22:51,344 Trying to get ahold of Nobby! 334 00:22:51,529 --> 00:22:54,851 - Why, what's wrong with him? - When he left the surgery he was looking terribly white! 335 00:22:55,138 --> 00:22:56,923 Surinder, people are allowed to be white! 336 00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:01,911 You know, we live in a multicultural society and practice positive discrimination, 337 00:23:02,151 --> 00:23:04,696 - and you're black, which is great... - Paul, white as in too pale. 338 00:23:05,814 --> 00:23:07,172 Right, gotcha. 339 00:23:07,342 --> 00:23:09,686 So I dug up his notes. You've had him on nitrates, haven't you? 340 00:23:09,861 --> 00:23:12,901 Yeah, for the last year. He's got angina, high blood pressure. What's the problem? 341 00:23:13,061 --> 00:23:16,703 - Pilfrey just gave him a prescription for Viagra! - Oh my God! 342 00:23:26,904 --> 00:23:29,726 Thank you! That's incredibly kind. 343 00:23:29,923 --> 00:23:31,323 You left it on the bench. 344 00:23:34,375 --> 00:23:37,809 I've been talking, rather listening to your husband. 345 00:23:38,086 --> 00:23:39,981 Oh, how... how was he? 346 00:23:40,259 --> 00:23:44,949 - Well, he sounded rather stressed. - Yes, that's Paul. 347 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:47,425 Your son sounded delightful. 348 00:23:48,101 --> 00:23:50,939 No, he is! I mean, they're all delightful, really. 349 00:23:52,494 --> 00:23:54,248 Look... 350 00:23:55,305 --> 00:24:00,092 Why don't you pay me a visit? 351 00:24:02,754 --> 00:24:06,045 - Executive Recruitment Consultant? - It means headhunter. 352 00:24:06,658 --> 00:24:10,672 - So you want me to... - Yes, I do. 353 00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:23,908 I mean it's in his notes, for God's sake! Doesn't Pilfrey ever read anyone else's notes? 354 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:25,809 He's too busy transferring them to disc. 355 00:24:25,963 --> 00:24:28,141 Great, meanwhile Nobby has a digital heart attack. 356 00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:33,296 - So how long he's lived on the river? - Since Sheila left him. 357 00:24:33,626 --> 00:24:36,208 Said he was gonna sail around the world and dive for sponges. 358 00:24:36,432 --> 00:24:38,216 I think he once got as far as Teddington. 359 00:24:39,866 --> 00:24:41,580 What are you lot doing? 360 00:24:41,905 --> 00:24:42,917 Nothing. 361 00:24:43,108 --> 00:24:44,924 But you mind doing it somewhere else? 362 00:24:45,148 --> 00:24:46,442 They're shagging. 363 00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:50,468 Look, shouldn't you lot be off nicking car stereos or something? 364 00:24:50,643 --> 00:24:53,194 - Paul... - It's all right, Surinder, I speak boy. 365 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:58,263 We have a medical emergency here. Now bugger off, will you? Go on! 366 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,591 Nobby? Nobby! 367 00:25:10,439 --> 00:25:11,201 Nobby? 368 00:25:12,415 --> 00:25:13,464 Nobby! 369 00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:17,353 We've got to get them to stop. If Nobby's blood pressure goes up... 370 00:25:18,333 --> 00:25:19,941 Sounds like it's already up, Surinder. 371 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:24,610 But what do we do? Sing a hymn? Read out some share prices? Cough? 372 00:25:24,935 --> 00:25:25,969 I've got it. 373 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:30,005 Nobby, as your doctor, I instruct you to stop! 374 00:25:30,910 --> 00:25:33,104 Stop having sex, Nobby! Stop it at once! 375 00:25:33,551 --> 00:25:34,983 Paul! 376 00:25:38,061 --> 00:25:39,131 Right. 377 00:25:39,349 --> 00:25:43,088 Right, Surinder, throw out the anchor and fasten the mainsail. 378 00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:50,803 - Paul, what's up? - There's a weir, Nobby! There's a bloody weir! 379 00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:54,482 - Paul, what are you doing here? - Trying to stop you from having sex! 380 00:25:54,812 --> 00:25:58,250 - Paul, let go of that rope! - You little bastards! 381 00:25:58,251 --> 00:26:00,626 - Have you taken the tablet, Nobby? - What tablet? 382 00:26:00,797 --> 00:26:03,635 - The Viagra! Don't take the Viagra! - I didn't take the bloody Viagra! 383 00:26:03,832 --> 00:26:08,364 Nobby, don't have sex, everyone remain calm inspite of the bloody weir! 384 00:26:08,730 --> 00:26:10,435 Paul, let go of that rope! 385 00:26:14,937 --> 00:26:16,311 Paul, are you all right? 386 00:26:17,136 --> 00:26:21,406 Just give me lots and lots and lots of love, and I'll be fine. 387 00:26:31,857 --> 00:26:33,177 You're just feeling threatened. 388 00:26:33,645 --> 00:26:36,899 Estelle's always been there for you, now she just wants some time for herself. 389 00:26:37,990 --> 00:26:40,205 To fulfill her lesbian urges. 390 00:26:42,079 --> 00:26:43,783 Who are you there for, Surinder? 391 00:26:44,630 --> 00:26:45,940 You, of course. 392 00:26:47,244 --> 00:26:51,333 Now did I hear what you thought there or did you just say that out loud? 393 00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:55,364 I said it. But don't get any ideas. 394 00:26:56,322 --> 00:26:59,134 Now go inside. Call Estelle. 395 00:26:59,655 --> 00:27:02,271 And I promise to sort out Nobby's notes for you. 396 00:27:05,891 --> 00:27:06,999 You're a pal. 397 00:27:22,769 --> 00:27:25,458 Excuse me, does a Mr Slippery live here? 398 00:27:25,852 --> 00:27:28,775 That depends. Are you delivering parking tickets? 399 00:27:29,041 --> 00:27:31,598 I'm not on duty at the moment. 400 00:27:31,843 --> 00:27:33,893 But I would point out that that Peugeot is positioned 401 00:27:33,895 --> 00:27:37,476 at an incorrect angle to the curb. Selfish parking. 402 00:27:37,477 --> 00:27:41,959 We're after Mr Daniel Slippery. We've had no response to the ringing of the doorbell. 403 00:27:42,364 --> 00:27:46,006 Well, if I saw you ringing my doorbell, I'd probably hide under the bed 404 00:27:46,007 --> 00:27:48,846 and call the police. And I have, and you are, so I will. Goodbye. 405 00:27:53,546 --> 00:27:57,646 Oh, for crying out loud. Daniel! 406 00:27:58,231 --> 00:27:59,594 Where are you? Daniel! 407 00:28:01,602 --> 00:28:05,590 I demand to know! Is this the Slippery household? 408 00:28:05,771 --> 00:28:07,863 No, it's an electrical appliance wholesalers! 409 00:28:08,135 --> 00:28:10,888 Now bugger off and torment some mortuaries, can't you? 410 00:28:11,729 --> 00:28:12,640 Daniel! 411 00:28:13,620 --> 00:28:16,442 - Oh, thank god, I thought you were Rory. - Will you get... 412 00:28:16,974 --> 00:28:18,800 What do you mean? Why shouldn't I be Rory? 413 00:28:19,711 --> 00:28:20,824 Hi, Paul. 414 00:28:20,825 --> 00:28:25,328 - How's your day? - Fine. So where is Rory? 415 00:28:25,525 --> 00:28:27,517 - He went out. - Was he okay? 416 00:28:27,740 --> 00:28:30,605 He's fine. He was crying, but he was fine. 417 00:28:31,591 --> 00:28:33,368 That was a joke, father. 418 00:28:34,226 --> 00:28:36,121 So... we're just gonna... 419 00:28:36,483 --> 00:28:40,120 like, chill... have a little lie down. 420 00:28:42,378 --> 00:28:46,414 Does that mean sex? You're gonna have sex now, are you? 421 00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:47,979 I'm so very happy for you. 422 00:28:48,171 --> 00:28:51,305 Dad, if you're gonna go clothes shopping, please take me with you. 423 00:28:51,306 --> 00:28:53,449 - What are you doing here? Where are the lads? - Cross country run. 424 00:28:53,614 --> 00:28:56,197 Well, you should be doing a cross country run! You should be at school! 425 00:28:56,383 --> 00:28:57,528 You certainly shouldn't be here! 426 00:28:57,831 --> 00:29:00,589 Now go and get into whatever it is you wear when you run across countries. 427 00:29:00,818 --> 00:29:02,815 Oh, leather. Lovely leather. 428 00:29:05,323 --> 00:29:06,457 Blimey, you don't give up, do you? 429 00:29:06,611 --> 00:29:08,640 We are the parents of Laura Proek. 430 00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:10,281 Well, congratulations. 431 00:29:10,450 --> 00:29:12,532 You adopted her, did you? Bought her on the internet, or something? 432 00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:15,301 Laura Proek is currently seeing your son, Rory. 433 00:29:16,696 --> 00:29:17,596 What, that Laura? 434 00:29:17,745 --> 00:29:18,895 Is she here now? 435 00:29:19,051 --> 00:29:20,173 No. 436 00:29:20,482 --> 00:29:22,116 Then why are you pointing? 437 00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:25,838 What, this? This isn't a point. 438 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,001 No, this is... this is pointless. 439 00:29:30,067 --> 00:29:31,807 Look, why don't you come in? 440 00:29:37,063 --> 00:29:38,261 So, what's the problem? 441 00:29:38,404 --> 00:29:40,534 The problem is your other son, Daniel. 442 00:29:40,673 --> 00:29:44,539 We have grown very fond of Rory, Rory is a gentleman. But Daniel... 443 00:29:44,683 --> 00:29:47,473 We think he may be toying with Laura's affections. 444 00:29:47,659 --> 00:29:49,949 Oh, I doubt that very much. 445 00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:53,686 What's that noise? 446 00:29:54,751 --> 00:29:59,209 Hot water pipes. Bloody nuisance. Why don't we go through to the kitchen? 447 00:30:03,532 --> 00:30:06,530 - Monster shag in progress. - Oh, Edwin! 448 00:30:07,376 --> 00:30:11,572 And there as well! There's some seriously deep dicking going on here, dad. 449 00:30:11,839 --> 00:30:13,649 That little Proek is a piece of work! 450 00:30:13,650 --> 00:30:15,991 - Edwin, what are you doing? - You told me to go for a run! 451 00:30:16,317 --> 00:30:18,585 This is the one time you actually do what I tell you? 452 00:30:18,803 --> 00:30:23,233 Not really, I just had to get away from Laura. Empress of shag. 453 00:30:23,424 --> 00:30:25,277 I'm trying to revise and she just up there going: 454 00:30:25,506 --> 00:30:29,526 „Oh, yes, please, Daniel, give me some more!” 455 00:30:29,750 --> 00:30:32,764 Edwin, do you know Mr and Mrs Proek? Laura's parents? 456 00:30:35,154 --> 00:30:36,501 Hello, Mrs. 457 00:30:38,908 --> 00:30:42,098 - Doesn't sound like pipes. - What, you're a plumber as well, are you? 458 00:30:42,284 --> 00:30:46,400 Please, go into the kitchen, I just need a moment to throttle this boy. 459 00:30:49,564 --> 00:30:52,242 What is going on in this house? I am fed up with it! 460 00:30:52,402 --> 00:30:54,920 Me too! I've gotta do the Franco-Prussian war! 461 00:30:55,075 --> 00:30:57,982 Daniel is completely out of control, he's utterly obsessed by sex! 462 00:30:58,233 --> 00:30:59,414 Wonder where he gets that from. 463 00:30:59,596 --> 00:31:02,077 Well I'm not gonna tolerate it! I'm being driven insane by this! 464 00:31:02,226 --> 00:31:05,000 - Daniel! - Oh, now, who's that? 465 00:31:05,001 --> 00:31:06,959 Probably one of the neighbours, wants to join in. 466 00:31:08,639 --> 00:31:11,610 - Whoa, whoa, Rory old son, what's up? - Listen to this! 467 00:31:13,069 --> 00:31:15,672 He's doing it on purpose! I'm gonna kill him! 468 00:31:15,838 --> 00:31:19,769 - No, no, no! - Rory! 469 00:31:26,090 --> 00:31:28,152 Mrs Proek. 470 00:31:28,529 --> 00:31:29,855 - Rory! - Mr Proek! 471 00:31:30,376 --> 00:31:32,357 Now, get upstairs and stop them! 472 00:31:32,554 --> 00:31:34,999 No way! Get between those and you could lose an arm! 473 00:31:35,627 --> 00:31:38,923 - I knitted you a lovely hat! - Oh, thank you. 474 00:31:40,318 --> 00:31:42,267 That, that is a really nice hat. 475 00:31:42,432 --> 00:31:43,747 We've talked to your father, 476 00:31:43,748 --> 00:31:46,378 we've told him that we do not approve of Daniel's behaviour. 477 00:31:46,379 --> 00:31:50,078 Hold on a second, what are you, some kind of outreach social worker? 478 00:31:50,079 --> 00:31:53,433 I'm a rodent control operative, and I'm also Laura's father! 479 00:31:53,434 --> 00:31:55,653 Yeah, well Laura's an adult! They're all adults! 480 00:31:55,654 --> 00:31:57,241 They don't need you poking your nose in. 481 00:31:57,367 --> 00:32:00,031 - Now listen to me, Sonny Jim... - No, you listen! 482 00:32:00,317 --> 00:32:03,743 I can't control my own children's behaviour, I don't see why the hell you should! 483 00:32:03,744 --> 00:32:05,195 I can't even control my own behaviour! 484 00:32:05,196 --> 00:32:08,789 I clean forgot that today was my 20th wedding anniversary! 485 00:32:09,168 --> 00:32:12,351 - You did what? - Oh, how could you? 486 00:32:12,506 --> 00:32:15,168 Yeah dad, how could you? 487 00:32:18,986 --> 00:32:24,257 Oh, suffering Judith... Edwin, would you please take the Proeks to the kitchen, 488 00:32:24,401 --> 00:32:27,079 and play them that new CD. Incredibly loud! 489 00:32:27,448 --> 00:32:29,240 I can't believe this! 490 00:32:55,066 --> 00:32:58,602 It's good, though, isn't it? I mean, I prefer their early stuff... 491 00:33:05,172 --> 00:33:06,754 Well, thanks so much for dropping by, 492 00:33:06,919 --> 00:33:08,671 and if Laura turns up, we'll send her over to you! 493 00:33:11,306 --> 00:33:13,011 God, I thought they'd never go. 494 00:33:13,899 --> 00:33:16,078 Do you think they really are fans of garage rock, 495 00:33:16,079 --> 00:33:18,048 or they just don't like listening to their daughter being reduced 496 00:33:18,049 --> 00:33:21,141 - to a quivering heap of jelly by your brother? - Well I bloody don't! 497 00:33:21,545 --> 00:33:23,691 Yeah, sorry. Things aren't good, are they? 498 00:33:23,867 --> 00:33:26,774 You could talk. You're even worse shit than me! 499 00:33:26,950 --> 00:33:31,465 Yeah. If Estelle's a lesbian, it's your own fault, man. Wedding anniversary. 500 00:33:31,604 --> 00:33:35,277 You should be at school! And turn this bloody music off! 501 00:33:35,735 --> 00:33:37,413 Lesbians don't forget their wedding anniversaries. 502 00:33:37,573 --> 00:33:39,958 Cause they don't get married. Logical. 503 00:33:41,885 --> 00:33:48,008 Ah, marriage. My marriage is in ruins. What am I gonna do? 504 00:33:48,205 --> 00:33:50,181 Why don't you organise a party? 505 00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:52,838 That way when she comes back from work all her friends will be here. 506 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,081 - You know, Stella Bee, Allison... - They're lesbians! 507 00:33:56,272 --> 00:34:00,223 Julia, Mrs Link from her crafts class, and that woman who had a nervous breakdown 508 00:34:00,224 --> 00:34:02,300 when her husband hit her across the head with the electric frier. 509 00:34:02,481 --> 00:34:04,749 Valerie Hogan. Not a lesbian, in spite of that. 510 00:34:06,009 --> 00:34:08,789 - All right. - Oh, no, Rory! Rory! 511 00:34:10,765 --> 00:34:13,767 - Daniel! - Rory! No, Rory! Rory! 512 00:34:14,620 --> 00:34:16,249 - Daniel! - Stop it, stop it! 513 00:34:16,457 --> 00:34:18,235 Rory! Go to your room! 514 00:34:21,035 --> 00:34:22,989 Blimey, that still works. 515 00:34:23,241 --> 00:34:24,677 - Case all over. - You reckon? 516 00:34:24,901 --> 00:34:28,740 - It has to be over, 38 minutes. - Wow. 517 00:34:28,954 --> 00:34:31,940 - How long does it take you? - Well, about... it's none of your business! 518 00:34:34,235 --> 00:34:35,572 Dr Slippery! 519 00:34:36,412 --> 00:34:38,547 No, Rory, put that axe down! 520 00:34:40,911 --> 00:34:42,043 Can I help you? 521 00:34:42,044 --> 00:34:43,989 - Daniel? - Rosie, hi. 522 00:34:45,205 --> 00:34:46,284 What? 523 00:34:49,267 --> 00:34:50,650 - How is he? - Nobby's fine. 524 00:34:50,842 --> 00:34:52,455 We think he's fine. He's in with Pilfrey now. 525 00:34:52,956 --> 00:34:56,204 He had a sort of pain in his chest and a sort of pain in his arm. 526 00:34:56,358 --> 00:34:58,222 And he couldn't sort of breathe. 527 00:34:58,952 --> 00:35:00,948 I'm sure he'll be okay, Paul. 528 00:35:01,172 --> 00:35:02,510 I mean, I've only known him for three days, 529 00:35:02,511 --> 00:35:04,319 but I feel like I've known him for my whole life! 530 00:35:05,405 --> 00:35:06,619 And he is strong. 531 00:35:07,167 --> 00:35:11,416 What he needs now is lots and lots and lots and lots of love. 532 00:35:11,588 --> 00:35:14,532 Yeah, I'm sure. I better go and see what Pilfrey's up to. 533 00:35:16,225 --> 00:35:18,083 Dr Pilfrey's a good doctor, isn't he? 534 00:35:19,446 --> 00:35:22,316 He has a degree in medicine from Saint Catherine's hospital in London! 535 00:35:22,869 --> 00:35:25,564 He is one of the top three doctors in the practice. 536 00:35:26,491 --> 00:35:27,954 Pilfrey, open this door! 537 00:35:29,596 --> 00:35:32,560 Pilfrey, open this door before I break it down! 538 00:35:33,034 --> 00:35:35,627 - Yes. - I want to know how Nobby is. 539 00:35:35,856 --> 00:35:38,012 Ian Duncan, Nobby, yes. 540 00:35:38,183 --> 00:35:39,535 My friend, Nobby, yes. 541 00:35:39,706 --> 00:35:42,443 My patient, Ian Duncan, yes. 542 00:35:44,152 --> 00:35:46,841 Stress. Acute stress. 543 00:35:47,566 --> 00:35:51,090 You know as well as I do the importance of regular exercise and diet. 544 00:35:51,398 --> 00:35:53,428 The mediterranean diets, so on. 545 00:35:54,013 --> 00:35:55,839 Lots and lots of fruit and vegetables, 546 00:35:55,999 --> 00:35:58,613 and olive oil, lots and lots of sundried tomatoes. 547 00:35:58,827 --> 00:36:00,136 And how is he now? 548 00:36:00,301 --> 00:36:04,044 I consoled him about the stress. I talked to him about the stress. 549 00:36:04,220 --> 00:36:07,026 I talked about the relaxation types which are hugely beneficial. 550 00:36:07,180 --> 00:36:08,628 I played him the one with the flute. 551 00:36:08,629 --> 00:36:10,492 But how is he? How is my friend Nobby? 552 00:36:10,637 --> 00:36:11,386 He's... 553 00:36:12,105 --> 00:36:13,335 He's dead at the moment. 554 00:36:26,509 --> 00:36:28,021 What seems to be the problem? 555 00:36:28,282 --> 00:36:29,964 My problem is you. 556 00:36:31,135 --> 00:36:32,057 Lighten up! 557 00:36:32,434 --> 00:36:35,725 Lighten up. Lighten up? What do you mean, lighten up? 558 00:36:37,168 --> 00:36:38,802 Would you like a glass of water? 559 00:36:39,079 --> 00:36:41,710 No, thank you, Edwin. I'm going home now. 560 00:36:44,766 --> 00:36:47,227 - Rory? - Yes, Laura? 561 00:36:48,611 --> 00:36:49,633 Bye, doll. 562 00:36:55,242 --> 00:36:57,270 - Deathscape? - Deathscape. 563 00:37:00,171 --> 00:37:03,067 I've uh.... I've popped him off to the undertakers, okay? 564 00:37:17,815 --> 00:37:22,245 I think that I was probably a little bit... tactless back there. 565 00:37:22,564 --> 00:37:24,673 You know, about your chump's coronary. 566 00:37:25,173 --> 00:37:28,900 But we've all gotta go sometime, this sort of thing, you know... 567 00:37:30,615 --> 00:37:32,004 Anyway, it's for the best. 568 00:37:32,947 --> 00:37:34,661 If he lingered on, he probably would've been 569 00:37:34,662 --> 00:37:36,962 brain damaged or seriously disabled. 570 00:37:37,121 --> 00:37:41,221 And it's enormously expensive to keep people alive. 571 00:37:42,377 --> 00:37:43,852 At some times... 572 00:37:45,214 --> 00:37:46,753 sometimes it's easier... 573 00:37:48,308 --> 00:37:49,517 and better... 574 00:37:49,990 --> 00:37:55,629 and cheaper, talking as a doctor, just to... you know... 575 00:37:55,729 --> 00:37:56,820 let them... 576 00:38:00,335 --> 00:38:01,138 die. 577 00:38:04,127 --> 00:38:05,538 Thank you, Dr Pilfrey. 578 00:38:10,334 --> 00:38:13,145 - Haven't you heard of self control? - Yes, I have heard of it. 579 00:38:13,289 --> 00:38:15,521 But something takes over in me, 580 00:38:15,665 --> 00:38:17,485 and there is nothing I can do to stop it. 581 00:38:17,639 --> 00:38:19,423 Yes, it's called your penis. 582 00:38:20,062 --> 00:38:22,632 I can't believe this. It's exactly the same thing that happened 583 00:38:22,797 --> 00:38:24,820 on that French trip. While I wanted to go to karate, 584 00:38:24,959 --> 00:38:27,770 all you could think about doing was... Oh hi, Stella! 585 00:38:28,070 --> 00:38:30,375 Yeah, if you could come over to the house by about 8? 586 00:38:30,524 --> 00:38:32,553 - What's he doing? - He's phoning up Estelle's friends. 587 00:38:32,729 --> 00:38:36,839 If he doesn't sort out a party by tonight, we could be facing a divorce situation. 588 00:38:40,791 --> 00:38:43,756 Now then, let me give you the guided tour. 589 00:38:44,086 --> 00:38:46,045 Here we have the office. 590 00:38:50,028 --> 00:38:51,680 This was Carol, I take it. 591 00:38:51,993 --> 00:38:53,303 Indeed, it was. 592 00:38:53,632 --> 00:38:55,555 There's blood on the carpet. 593 00:38:55,725 --> 00:38:59,026 But the most of it was hers, I'm glad to say. 594 00:39:00,326 --> 00:39:04,064 Rupert, darling, can I call you back? 595 00:39:05,251 --> 00:39:08,067 She was a good woman as women go, 596 00:39:08,254 --> 00:39:10,101 and as women go, she went. 597 00:39:11,374 --> 00:39:13,526 I'll get you a new desk, obviously. 598 00:39:14,372 --> 00:39:16,453 - What? - If you came to work here. 599 00:39:18,061 --> 00:39:21,033 I don't usually throw things at my employees. 600 00:39:21,283 --> 00:39:24,036 Look, look, I'm very flattered, but... 601 00:39:24,818 --> 00:39:28,279 I really don't think I'm up to it... whatever it is that you do. 602 00:39:28,504 --> 00:39:31,181 Well, that's my problem, not yours, isn't it? 603 00:39:32,448 --> 00:39:36,246 But then again, maybe your husband wouldn't approve. 604 00:39:36,453 --> 00:39:38,024 What's he got to do with it? 605 00:39:38,248 --> 00:39:40,884 Well, he didn't seem to take to me on the phone. 606 00:39:41,048 --> 00:39:43,749 He seemed a bit... stressed. 607 00:39:43,971 --> 00:39:46,256 He kept going on about lesbians. 608 00:39:46,736 --> 00:39:49,883 I rather got the impression he thought I might be one. 609 00:39:50,155 --> 00:39:51,741 He does get these strange obsessions. 610 00:39:51,897 --> 00:39:53,876 I ask you, a lesbian! 611 00:39:54,101 --> 00:39:57,744 - Do I look like a lesbian? - You look nothing like a lesbian. 612 00:39:57,745 --> 00:39:59,614 I know! 613 00:39:59,740 --> 00:40:02,030 Although, as a matter of fact, I am one. 614 00:40:04,256 --> 00:40:06,599 What I'd like to do is to get some of his friends together 615 00:40:06,743 --> 00:40:10,390 and, you know, just talk about what Nobby meant to us. 616 00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,680 That's a lovely idea... 617 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,747 I'm afraid I don't know your name. 618 00:40:18,383 --> 00:40:21,643 We could... we could organise something on the boat! 619 00:40:23,021 --> 00:40:25,891 No. Not the boat. 620 00:40:26,104 --> 00:40:27,777 The boat has too many memories. 621 00:40:28,084 --> 00:40:31,487 The boat is where we... you know... 622 00:40:31,636 --> 00:40:32,718 I know. 623 00:40:33,580 --> 00:40:41,034 Oh, you are so kind! You are so kind and sweet and good. 624 00:40:41,217 --> 00:40:43,132 And you knew Nobby so well! 625 00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:45,912 I didn't know him that well... 626 00:40:46,093 --> 00:40:49,187 I've known him a long time... 15 years. 627 00:40:50,658 --> 00:40:55,907 But look, we could get everyone to meet at a pub, just talk about Nobby. 628 00:40:56,509 --> 00:41:01,625 - Like a party? - Indeed, yes. Yes. 629 00:41:01,955 --> 00:41:03,664 Have you met Nobby's friends? 630 00:41:30,978 --> 00:41:32,587 Hi, could we...? 631 00:41:36,495 --> 00:41:38,503 They don't look very sad, do they? 632 00:41:38,854 --> 00:41:40,121 What did you tell them? 633 00:41:40,446 --> 00:41:42,310 Just that I wanted to sort of get together, 634 00:41:42,475 --> 00:41:44,589 you know, and talk about Nobby. 635 00:41:45,366 --> 00:41:46,655 Did you say he was dead? 636 00:41:47,583 --> 00:41:48,802 I'm not sure. 637 00:41:49,046 --> 00:41:50,947 I didn't think of him as dead, really. 638 00:41:52,294 --> 00:41:53,913 So maybe he isn't really. 639 00:41:55,574 --> 00:41:59,141 Not sure the second thought follows logically from the first, but... 640 00:41:59,142 --> 00:42:01,847 Would you like me to... you know...? 641 00:42:09,790 --> 00:42:11,675 I've got some important news! 642 00:42:14,088 --> 00:42:16,292 I've got some rather shocking news, everyone, 643 00:42:16,452 --> 00:42:20,036 and I'm not sure that everyone's taking this on board! 644 00:42:21,914 --> 00:42:23,928 Look, Nobby's dead! 645 00:42:24,177 --> 00:42:26,440 So can you all just shut it for a minute? 646 00:42:32,531 --> 00:42:34,603 Yeah. Anyway... 647 00:42:35,056 --> 00:42:37,930 Nobby died this afternoon. 648 00:42:38,968 --> 00:42:42,003 And so I just thought we ought to be a bit... you know... 649 00:42:45,224 --> 00:42:52,892 And.... here, she's now gonna say a few, you know... 650 00:42:53,203 --> 00:42:54,933 I'll drink to that! 651 00:42:57,851 --> 00:43:01,834 I just wanted to say that Nobby died of a heart attack 652 00:43:02,004 --> 00:43:03,873 at 3:15 this afternoon. 653 00:43:04,885 --> 00:43:06,626 I think it was 3:15. 654 00:43:06,860 --> 00:43:11,313 May have been 3:30 or even, you know, quarter to four. 655 00:43:11,314 --> 00:43:13,898 But time doesn't really matter, does it. 656 00:43:13,994 --> 00:43:15,336 No, it's irrelevant! 657 00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:19,569 In many ways I didn't really know Nobby very well, 658 00:43:19,692 --> 00:43:23,563 but I knew him in a very intense way, 659 00:43:23,669 --> 00:43:26,677 - and our relationship involved... - Loads of shagging. 660 00:43:27,817 --> 00:43:28,967 You know. 661 00:43:29,552 --> 00:43:33,287 When Nobby was taken from me, we were actually... 662 00:43:33,515 --> 00:43:36,448 - in the middle of... - Great deal of shagging. 663 00:43:37,955 --> 00:43:42,417 So I think we should all go somewhere more intimate 664 00:43:42,546 --> 00:43:46,428 and talk about Nobby and toast his memory. 665 00:43:46,998 --> 00:43:49,846 We could all go to... 666 00:43:50,698 --> 00:43:54,335 ...to Paul's house. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. 667 00:43:54,336 --> 00:43:56,700 - What? - Oh, what a wonderful idea! 668 00:43:56,701 --> 00:43:58,099 No, no, no, no, no! 669 00:43:58,100 --> 00:44:00,000 We're all going to Paul's place! We're all going to Paul's place! 670 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:05,267 No, look, see, no, no, no! 671 00:44:05,650 --> 00:44:10,394 Look, you see, the thing is, it's actually my anniversary today, 672 00:44:10,395 --> 00:44:12,093 and, and, and my wife... 673 00:44:12,231 --> 00:44:16,006 My wife wasn't totally a Nobby fan, to be honest with you. 674 00:44:17,103 --> 00:44:19,548 Jesus, Duncan Meat. 675 00:44:27,649 --> 00:44:30,405 Just keep the noise down, please, everyone! 676 00:44:30,976 --> 00:44:33,190 I do have neighbours, you know. 677 00:44:33,983 --> 00:44:35,495 Although my neighbours are here. 678 00:44:36,395 --> 00:44:39,652 Duncan, please, stop hitting that man, he's flesh and blood just like you. 679 00:44:39,653 --> 00:44:40,894 Look, everyone... 680 00:44:42,678 --> 00:44:43,502 Oh, sod it... 681 00:44:45,373 --> 00:44:47,779 Shut up! 682 00:44:50,993 --> 00:44:53,931 Well, thank you all for coming, uhm... 683 00:44:54,469 --> 00:44:57,764 I just wanted to say that my sons have organized this party 684 00:44:57,765 --> 00:45:00,423 and my wife doesn't know about it, so, you know... 685 00:45:00,598 --> 00:45:03,473 - I just want to keep this a surprise. - I'll surprise her! 686 00:45:05,007 --> 00:45:07,947 Duncan. This is my wedding anniversary. 687 00:45:08,707 --> 00:45:13,345 Never mind your wedding anniversary. A man has died. 688 00:45:14,458 --> 00:45:15,661 A good man. 689 00:45:16,646 --> 00:45:19,048 And a great friend of mine. 690 00:45:26,156 --> 00:45:28,653 Gotcha! You beauty! 691 00:45:38,673 --> 00:45:42,416 Right. Could somebody explain about the fridges? 692 00:45:50,398 --> 00:45:51,403 That's the last one gone. 693 00:45:52,671 --> 00:45:55,716 Daniel says he's cleared 200 quids. I made him pay for the booze. 694 00:45:56,030 --> 00:45:57,524 You know, it was quite a good party at the end. 695 00:45:58,336 --> 00:45:59,907 It damn well should've been. 696 00:46:00,231 --> 00:46:01,404 20 years of marriage. 697 00:46:02,909 --> 00:46:04,848 Can you really not remember when we last had sex? 698 00:46:05,205 --> 00:46:07,500 No, I can't. When did we last have sex? 699 00:46:07,718 --> 00:46:09,491 - I'm not gonna tell you. - Why not? 700 00:46:10,849 --> 00:46:12,803 Was it... you know... 701 00:46:13,070 --> 00:46:14,492 well below the national avarage? 702 00:46:14,635 --> 00:46:15,514 You want it now, don't you? 703 00:46:16,126 --> 00:46:17,260 How do you know I want it now? 704 00:46:17,446 --> 00:46:18,378 Because you're being nice to me, 705 00:46:18,591 --> 00:46:20,072 and you've got your hand on my leg which is the thing you do... 706 00:46:20,258 --> 00:46:21,387 And you're sticking your tounge out. 707 00:46:21,547 --> 00:46:22,973 You always do that when you want to have sex. 708 00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:26,536 No, I stick my tounge out lots of times when I don't want to have sex! 709 00:46:26,877 --> 00:46:28,790 - When? - Well... 710 00:46:28,991 --> 00:46:31,014 - When I'm inspecting it! - Oh God, you're so weird. 711 00:46:32,192 --> 00:46:33,958 I am not weird! 712 00:46:35,449 --> 00:46:40,198 Although, you know, sometimes I think I can hear people's thoughts. 713 00:46:40,402 --> 00:46:41,881 Oh, you probably can. 714 00:46:42,074 --> 00:46:44,085 You certainly ought to be able to read mine. 715 00:46:44,921 --> 00:46:46,966 We've been married an awfully long time. 716 00:46:48,266 --> 00:46:49,624 So how was your day? 717 00:46:50,389 --> 00:46:52,727 I must say I like the sound of this Gwen character. 718 00:46:52,924 --> 00:46:54,132 Gwendolen. 719 00:46:55,879 --> 00:46:57,721 It was... it was great. 720 00:46:58,803 --> 00:47:00,475 See? Now I don't know what you're thinking. 721 00:47:02,386 --> 00:47:05,463 Estelle, I just... I want to support you. 722 00:47:05,628 --> 00:47:07,822 I want to help you fulfill your potential. 723 00:47:08,132 --> 00:47:09,292 Thank you. 724 00:47:09,888 --> 00:47:12,550 And I'm gonna try not to be so obsessed with myself. 725 00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:14,344 Good. 726 00:47:17,944 --> 00:47:21,043 There's just so many questions, so many things. 727 00:47:21,784 --> 00:47:23,317 Not all of them are about me. 728 00:47:24,233 --> 00:47:26,246 Will Edwin ever go to school? 729 00:47:27,124 --> 00:47:30,542 Will Daniel stick with Laura? And who will Laura stick to? 730 00:47:31,219 --> 00:47:34,264 Will Rory kill Daniel before she decides? 731 00:47:35,973 --> 00:47:39,199 Will Duncan Meat ever go home? 732 00:47:50,839 --> 00:47:54,449 Will I ever be able to remember when I last had sex?