1
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,635
Can't get the monkey off your back?

2
00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:15,180
Then put it in your mouth...

3
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,266
...with Monkeyshine Beer!

4
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,104
Wow.

5
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:27,985
Monkeyshine Beer.

6
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,487
Because it's a jungle out there!

7
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,282
That commercial always
makes me so sad.

8
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:36,702
Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer
and girls run at him...

9
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,912
...so everything works out okay.

10
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,332
I meant because the monkey in it
reminds me of Marcel.

11
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,709
I can see that.

12
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:48,505
Because they both have those big
brown eyes and the little pouty chin.

13
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,383
And the fact that
they're both monkeys?

14
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,970
I wonder if I did the right thing,
giving him away.

15
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:59,475
Ross, you had to. He was
humping everything in sight.

16
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:03,562
I mean, I have a Malibu Barbie who will
no longer be wearing white to her wedding.

17
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,400
Remember when he'd borrow your hat...

18
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,362
...and when you got it back,
there'd be little monkey raisins in it?

19
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,825
When he did it, it was funny.
When I did it to my boss's hat...

20
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,455
All of a sudden, I had
this big "attitude problem. "

21
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:11,839
Hey. Hey.

22
00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:14,675
- Check it out! Guess what I got?
- Rhythm?

23
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,886
No. My first fan mail!

24
00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,471
Check it out.

25
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,473
"Dear Dr. Ramoray:

26
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,810
Know that I love you and
would do anything to have you. "

27
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,021
My gosh! "Your not-so-secret
admirer, Erika Ford. "

28
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,732
Oh, wait.

29
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:35,404
"P.S. Enclosed, please find
14 of my eyelashes. "

30
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,992
You know, in Crazy World,
that means you're married.

31
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,873
It's not addressed to Days Of Our Lives.
This came to your apartment.

32
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,667
There's no stamp on it.
This woman was in our building.

33
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,252
Oh, my God.

34
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,005
I got my very own stalker!

35
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,675
- Hey, guys.
Hey.

36
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,177
Hey.
Ooh.

37
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,428
Where are you off to?

38
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,306
There's this paleontology
conference in L.A.

39
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,560
So I figured I'd go and drive down
to the zoo and surprise Marcel.

40
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:10,105
I think he will be surprised.
Till he realizes he's a monkey...

41
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,484
...and, uh, you know,
isn't capable of that emotion.

42
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:19,281
Oh, Phoebe? That really cute guy
is here again.

43
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:20,574
Oh? Oh.

44
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,909
Okay, so everyone, ahem...

45
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:25,454
...pretend I'm telling you a story
and it's really funny.

46
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,039
So everyone just laugh. Now!

47
00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,501
I know, I know! Oh.

48
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:32,920
- Hello.
- Hi.

49
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,463
Oh.

50
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:35,839
I'm Rob Donan.

51
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,132
Hi, Rob Donan.

52
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:41,595
I don't know anything about music,
but I think you're really great.

53
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,431
Oh, wow. Ha, ha.

54
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:48,393
Anyway, I schedule performers
for children's libraries.

55
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:53,315
And I was thinking, have you thought
about playing your songs for kids?

56
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,108
Oh, I would love to have kids...

57
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:02,366
...hear me play the songs
that I will write for them.

58
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,620
What do you wanna do for dinner?

59
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,830
We could stay in and cook for ourselves.

60
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,922
- Hello.
It's Erika.

61
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,840
Oh, my God. The stalker!

62
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,259
Never mind. It's open.

63
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,302
Aah! Aah!

64
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,347
Yes, hitting her with a frying pan
is a good idea.

65
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:29,351
We might wanna have a backup plan,
though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.

66
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,187
Let's get out of here!

67
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,858
The one time they're not home!

68
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,694
Okay. Okay.

69
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,779
We'll leave.
When we pass her...

70
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,699
...she won't know me,
because we never met!

71
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,703
That's how radio stars
escape stalkers!

72
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,206
She's coming!

73
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,297
It's me.
- Aah!

74
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:02,092
Uh, this is it.
This is how we're gonna die.

75
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,054
- You ready?
- Wait, wait, wait!

76
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,563
Hi.

77
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,690
Erika!

78
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,534
Mr. Geller?
- Yes, hi.

79
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,495
Hi. Dean Lipson, zoo administrator.

80
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,456
I was told you had a question.

81
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:37,336
I, uh... I can't find the monkey I donated
last year. He's a capuchin...

82
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,129
...answers to the name Marcel?

83
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,924
Ah. I'm afraid I have some bad news.

84
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,594
Marcel has passed on.

85
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,931
Oh, my God. What happened?

86
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,726
Well, he got sick,
and then he got sicker...

87
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,978
...and then he got a little better.

88
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,147
But then he died.

89
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,109
I can't believe this!

90
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:06,114
I'm sorry, Mr. Geller.
But you know, there's an old saying:

91
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,950
"Sometimes monkeys die. "

92
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,954
It's not a great saying...

93
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,333
...but it certainly is fitting today.

94
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,461
- Someone should've called me.
I'm sorry.

95
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,089
Look, I know this can't
bring him back...

96
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:24,716
...but here, it's just a gesture.

97
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,844
Zoo dollars?

98
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:32,349
Yes, and come see the bird show
at 4. The macaws wear hats.

99
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:37,020
Well, it's a lot cuter
if your monkey hasn't just died.

100
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,069
Ooh.

101
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,779
I know.

102
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,950
I can't believe Joey's having
lunch with his stalker.

103
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,701
What is she like?

104
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,371
- Well, you remember Kathy Bates in Misery?
Mm-hm.

105
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:57,707
Well, she looks
the exact opposite of that.

106
00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,918
And she's not crazy?

107
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,712
Oh, no, no.
She's a total wack job.

108
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,676
Yeah. She thinks that Joey is
actually Dr. Drake Ramoray.

109
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,261
Oh, my God!

110
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,555
Oh. And he's going out with her?

111
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,432
He cannot pursue this.

112
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:17,269
Just because this woman thinks she can
see Joey through the magical box...

113
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,021
...in her living room
doesn't mean she's not a person.

114
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:23,650
Does she not deserve happiness?
Does she not deserve love?

115
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:28,947
What are you looking at me for?
He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.

116
00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,116
Are you okay?

117
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,452
No, uh-uh. I'm just nervous.

118
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,955
Maybe if I just picture them all
in their underwear...

119
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,083
That's not a good idea. That's
the reason the last guy got fired.

120
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,710
Oh.

121
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,130
Yeah.

122
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,591
I'm used to playing for grownups.

123
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:51,303
Grownups drink their coffee
and do their grownup thing, you know.

124
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,596
And kids...

125
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,055
...listen.

126
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,059
It's just a huge responsibility.

127
00:07:58,227 --> 00:07:59,394
What?

128
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,480
Are you gonna kiss me?

129
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:03,940
I was thinking about it.

130
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,485
Okay.

131
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,615
Yeah, okay. Alrighty. Let's play some tunes!

132
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,952
Hi, everybody. I'm Phoebe.

133
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,497
Hi, Phoebe!

134
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,999
Ha, ha. Okay. Um...

135
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:25,212
...I'm gonna play, um, some songs
about grandparents, okay?

136
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,926
Now Grandma's a person
Who everyone likes

137
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:34,179
She bought you a train
And a bright shiny bike

138
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,432
But lately she hasn't
Been coming to dinner

139
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,936
And last time you saw her
She looked so much thinner

140
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:45,482
Now your mom and your dad said
She moved to Peru

141
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,985
But the truth is she died
And someday you will too

142
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:58,161
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la

143
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:02,916
- Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing?
- Yeah, it is.

144
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,253
What?

145
00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,714
Well, here we sit, devil-may-care...

146
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:14,302
...and just a little while ago you were
reattaching Simone's spinal cord.

147
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,804
Yeah, that was a tricky one.

148
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,723
In reality...

149
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:23,061
...that operation takes over 10 hours,
but they only showed it for two minutes.

150
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:24,854
Who's "they"?

151
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,400
No one.

152
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:34,656
Oh, Drake, you are so talented.
Let me see those hands.

153
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,284
- Oh, these hands, these beautiful hands.
- Ha, ha.

154
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,245
Ha, ha. Oh, I could just eat them.

155
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,746
- But I won't.
Ha, ha.

156
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,124
Good.
Otherwise my watch would fall off.

157
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,007
No, seriously.

158
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,676
These hands...

159
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,429
...these miracle, magical,
life-giving hands.

160
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,725
Oh, just to be near them, touch them,
maybe even lick one?

161
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:05,270
- All right. Ha, ha. Just one.
- Ha-ha-ha.

162
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,154
Wow.

163
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:15,739
You're good at that.

164
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,327
Oh, my God! Someone!
He's choking!

165
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,579
Is anyone here a doctor?

166
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,830
Oh, yes.

167
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,832
Yes, the best doctor in Salem!

168
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,126
Dr. Drake Ramoray!

169
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:47,604
Meet me in the nocturnal
house in 15 minutes.

170
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:54,903
Uh, hey, look. I don't really enjoy
being with other men that way.

171
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:57,947
But, um, zoo dollars?

172
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,576
It's about your monkey.

173
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,745
It's alive.

174
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,127
I don't understand.
Why didn't you help that man?

175
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,631
Uh, because, uh,
I'm a neurosurgeon...

176
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,718
...and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh...

177
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:20,095
..."foodal chokage. "

178
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,847
You know.

179
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,061
- I gotta tell you something...
- No, no, no.

180
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,105
You don't have to tell me anything.

181
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,649
You don't have
to explain yourself to me. Oh!

182
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,944
Who am I to question
the great Dr. Drake Ramoray?

183
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,196
- That's...
- I should be happy to be near you.

184
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,489
Hey, I...

185
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,911
"Hey" what?

186
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,497
That's it. Just hey!

187
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,625
Like at the end of a dance. Hey!

188
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,255
Hey. Ha-ha-ha.

189
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,340
Hey.

190
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,218
There'll be times when you get older

191
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,053
When you'll want to sleep with people

192
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,515
Just to make them like you
But don't

193
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:07,851
'Cause

194
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:11,479
That's another thing
That you don't wanna do

195
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,647
Everybody!

196
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:17,694
That's another thing
That you don't wanna do

197
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,030
- Excellent!
- Very informative!

198
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,033
Not at all inappropriate!

199
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:28,163
Thank you for coming, everybody.
There are cookies in the back.

200
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,082
That was great.

201
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,500
The kids loved you.

202
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,254
Yay! I rock!

203
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,340
And you know why?
Because you told the truth.

204
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,676
Nobody ever tells kids the truth.

205
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,553
You were incredible!

206
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,889
Ha, ha. But?

207
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,809
- How did you know there was a "but"?
- I sense these things.

208
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,145
It was either "but" or "butter. "

209
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,357
The thing is, I think
some of the parents...

210
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,234
...they were hoping that...

211
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:01,362
...you'd play more songs
about barnyard animals.

212
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,822
I can do that.

213
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,115
- Really?
- Yeah.

214
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,577
- Because that would be fantastic.
- Oh.

215
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,705
What? You wanna kiss me?

216
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,582
I'm thinking about it.

217
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,586
Ah, the bat.

218
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,297
Ambassador of darkness.

219
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:23,593
Flitting out of his cave
like a winged messenger.

220
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:27,263
Sightless specter of the macabre.

221
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,766
Buddy, my monkey?

222
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,935
Oh, yeah, right.

223
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,896
There was a break-in...

224
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,857
...a few months back. Inside job.

225
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,359
Your monkey was taken.

226
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,945
Oh, my God. The zoo told me
that my monkey was dead.

227
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,113
Pfft. The zoo!

228
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,825
You believe everything
the zoo tells you?

229
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:52,831
Uh, that's the only thing
the zoo's ever told me.

230
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,376
Of course they'll say he's dead.
They don't want the bad publicity.

231
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,002
It's all a great big cover-up.

232
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:02,090
Do you have any idea
how high up this thing goes?

233
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,008
That guy Lipson?

234
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,094
Lipson knows?

235
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:07,846
Hmm.

236
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,639
Lipson knows, huh?

237
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,058
Ah, hello, Mr. Possum.

238
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:16,020
Enigma of the trees,
upside-down denizen of the night.

239
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,315
- Taunting gravity...
- Buddy, my monkey. My monkey?

240
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,027
Word on the street...

241
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:27,532
Well, when I say "street," I mean
those little pretend streets here at the zoo.

242
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,117
Of course.

243
00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,454
Your monkey found a new career...

244
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:37,041
...in the entertainment field.
That's all I know.

245
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,919
This is unbelievable!

246
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:45,049
So, what is this information
worth to you, my friend?

247
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:48,595
Are you trying
to get me to bribe you?

248
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,305
Maybe.

249
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:54,183
But you already told me everything.

250
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:05,612
Check it out. He actually is
the Monkeyshine monkey.

251
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,822
Oh, wow. So, what are you gonna do?

252
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:11,326
I'm gonna call the beer company
and try to find out where he is.

253
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,454
That's what I did
when I lost my Clydesdales.

254
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,998
Okay, hi again!

255
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,876
Hi, Phoebe!

256
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:24,672
Today, we're gonna start with
some songs about barnyard animals.

257
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,635
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"

258
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,845
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"

259
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,514
Then the farmer hits him on the head
And grinds him up

260
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,808
And that's how we get hamburgers

261
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:42,065
Now chickens

262
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,401
You're the only one who can save her, Drake!

263
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,321
Damn it! I'm a doctor, I'm not God!

264
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,615
Well, there goes my whole belief system.

265
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,160
It's Erika.

266
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,870
Quick! Quick. Shut off the TV.

267
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,956
Wait, I wanna see what happens!

268
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,500
Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma
then we make out.

269
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,961
How can that be?
You were just kissing Sabrina.

270
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:07,090
Rachel, it's a world
where Joey is a neurosurgeon.

271
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,928
Hey, Erika. Come in.

272
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:15,390
How did you get here so fast?
I just saw you in Salem.

273
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,726
Right, they, uh, choppered me in.
Ha, ha.

274
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,353
What's up?

275
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,605
Oh, you're having a little party too.

276
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,149
- Is she here, huh, huh?
- Who?

277
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,485
Sabrina. I know about you two!

278
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,822
I saw you today, kissing
in the doctor's lounge.

279
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,075
It's not what you think.
That was...

280
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,327
You told me I was the only one!

281
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,208
All right, look. That's it.

282
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,419
We shouldn't see each other anymore.

283
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,546
I should have told you
a long time ago...

284
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,382
...but I am not Drake Ramoray, okay?

285
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:53,302
I'm not even a doctor. I'm an actor.
I just pretend to be a doctor.

286
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,723
Oh, my God. Do the people
at the hospital know about this?

287
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,395
Ha, ha.
Somebody wanna help me out here?

288
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,897
Oh, I know! I know!

289
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,733
Where am I?

290
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,609
University Hospital...

291
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,446
...the same place you've been
for the last 18 years.

292
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,615
How can you be here and there?

293
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,909
Ha, ha.
Because it's a television show.

294
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,370
Drake, what are you getting at?

295
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,207
I'm not Drake!

296
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,294
That's right. He's not Drake. He's...

297
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,255
...Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin!

298
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,887
Is this true?

299
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,223
Yes! Yes, it is true.

300
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,225
And I know this...

301
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,812
...because he pretended
to be Drake to sleep with me!

302
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,863
And then he told me
he would run away with me.

303
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,448
And he didn't!

304
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,827
And you left the toilet seat up,
you bastard!

305
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,335
Is all this true?

306
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,425
Yes, I'm afraid it is.

307
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,761
You deserve much better than me, Erika.

308
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:21,474
You deserve to be with the real Drake.
He's the one you fell in love with.

309
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,935
Go to Salem. Find him!

310
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,145
He's the guy for you.

311
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,897
Oh, Hans.

312
00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:31,943
Hans?

313
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,903
Hans!

314
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,697
Yo, evil twin!

315
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,450
Right. Uh, goodbye, Erika.

316
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,203
Good luck in Salem.

317
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,206
Take care.

318
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,000
I'll never forget you, Hans.

319
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:55,007
Ha, ha. All right.
The people who threw the water!

320
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,717
Helping you out!

321
00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:00,054
Fired? Why?

322
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,307
The library board has had
a lot of complaints from parents...

323
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,435
...about some of the stuff in your songs.
- I can't believe it!

324
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:10,606
Did you tell your board about how
the kids want to hear the truth?

325
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,442
No.

326
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:16,946
I see.

327
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:21,075
Maybe if you just played
some regular kiddie songs?

328
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,577
No.

329
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,704
What do you want me to be?
Like some...

330
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:28,916
...stupid, big,
like, purple dinosaur?

331
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:30,918
You don't have to be Barney.

332
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,171
- Who's Barney?
- Eh...

333
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:41,554
Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this:
He's healthy, he's happy...

334
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:45,766
...and he's here in New York filming
Outbreak 2: The Virus Takes Manhattan.

335
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,143
You're kidding!

336
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,353
- This is amazing.
- I know.

337
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:52,982
I finally get a part on TV,
and the monkey's making movies.

338
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,152
Okay. Rachel, I'm ready.

339
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,403
Okay.

340
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:04,285
Excuse me. Is this where the
singing lady is who tells the truth?

341
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:07,455
Um, yeah, I guess that's me.

342
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,291
She's here!

343
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,594
Sometimes men love women

344
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,430
And sometimes men love men

345
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,058
And then there are bisexuals

346
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,311
Though some just say
They're kidding themselves

347
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:34,607
La-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la

348
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,777
La-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la, la-la

349
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,032
This is exciting. I haven't
seen my monkey in a year.

350
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,701
What, you never
look down in the shower?

351
00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:50,665
Oh, please. I'm not allowed to make
one joke in the "monkey is penis" genre?

352
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,500
Back up, please.

353
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,210
Back up. Come on, come on.

354
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:57,004
Excuse me.
Uh, where can we find the monkey?

355
00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:58,673
I'm sorry. It's a closed set.

356
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,884
I'm sorry, you don't understand.
I'm a friend of his.

357
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,387
We, uh, used to live together.

358
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:07,807
Yeah. And I have a timeshare
in the Poconos with Flipper.

359
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:11,811
Ross, there he is!

360
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,188
Hey! Hey, buddy!

361
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,983
Marcel! Marcel!

362
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:29,829
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

363
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:39,630
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

364
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,619
They won't take you to the vet

365
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:14,332
You're obviously not
Their favorite pet

366
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:18,169
- Smelly cat, smelly cat
- Smelly cat, smelly cat

367
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:21,630
- It's not your fault
- It's not your fault

368
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,218
No

369
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,346
- Ha-ha-ha. I'm sorry.
- What?

370
00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:29,805
What's wrong with that?

371
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:34,226
Um, ahem, I think you might wanna,
like, pick a more masculine note. Heh.