That is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
You should know, you bought like a billion of them.
You didn't get one.
- Tonight's the big night. - How will you ask her?
It'll be perfect. We'll go to her favorite restaurant.
I'll get her a bottle of the champagne she really loves, therefore knows how expensive it is.
Then, when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast, I'll propose.
- Aw. - Sounds perfect!
You'll mess up. Let me do it.
I won't mess up.
If she says no, can I have the ring?
- She won't say no. - If?
- Hey. ROSS: Hey.
[MUMBLES] Hey, Monica.
- Give it. - It's gone.
Phoebe.
- Hey. - [MUMBLES] Hey, Monica!
We're practically kissing.
- Hey. - Hey.
Anyone free tonight? My boss is hosting a charity event for kids.
And the more people I bring, the better I look.
So Monica, Chandler?
We can't go. We're going to dinner. Remember?
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. - What's the big deal?
I just get mad when Rachel doesn't remember where we're going.
Where are you going?
- How about you guys? - Open bar?
- I think so. - I can do that for the kids.
I'll come. I'm making money now. It's time I give some back.
You could give back the money you owe me.
Okay. Have a benefit.
Ross, can you come to a charity event tonight?
Oh. No, I have plans with Elizabeth.
Oh. You're already doing your part for the kids.
It's our last night together before she leaves for camp. To be a counselor.
I have a question. All jokes aside. Where is this relationship going?
Wait a minute. All jokes aside? I didn't agree to that.
- Do you see this as long-term thing? - I don't know.
You are 12 years older than her.
Wait a minute. Does everyone feel this way?
- Yeah. - Yeah, sort of.
Uh, wow. Uh, I thought you were making jokes. I had no idea.
You guys are wrong. Yes, there is a chronological age difference.
But I never notice it, because she is very mature.
It doesn't matter what you guys think. I'm dating Elizabeth, not you.
Not what she said last night.
See, now he could date her.
Will you marry me?
Hey, you marry me.
What's going on, little elves?
It's the big night. We wanted to wish you luck.
- Yeah. Have the ring? - In my pocket.
Oh.
- Pheebs. - Oh. Ha, ha.
Will you guys get out of here? I want this to be a surprise, and she's gonna know.
Yeah, guys. Get out of here.
Hey. Hi, guys.
- You look beautiful. - Aww. Thank you.
What's going on?
We're just really...
...excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
- Here. - Thank you.
So what's going on here?
Well, uh, this is a silent auction.
They lay the stuff here. You write down your offer.
The highest bid gets it.
No. I know what a silent auction is. What's going on with your hair?
- Uh, why? - No, it's nice.
Nice to see you. So glad you brought someone.
Someone? I brought people.
This is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson.
- He's the head of my department. - Oh, hi.
- And I also brought my friend Joey. - Ohh! Shrimp toast!
You know, I don't know where he is.
I hope you're gonna bid.
Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
- Nice choice. - Yeah.
- Good luck. - Thank you.
Ha.
Okay, $20.00.
Shut the door! Shut the door!
What's going on?
Guys across the hall are throwing water balloons.
Call the police. That's what I did to kids in my building.
No, it's a water balloon fight. We started it.
Oh. Hmm.
Um, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight.
Um, it's excellent. The director is...
- Who drank all the kamikazes? - Nobody. We put them in here!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
- You want some? - No, I... Okay, okay.
- Could I talk to you for a second? - Yeah, sure.
Um, so this play, um, what do you think?
- It's gotten great reviews. - Attack!
[SCREAMING]
- Put your balloons down! - You put your balloons down!
Everybody put their balloons down!
Now, this is a nice suit!
Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris.
It goes to Emil Alexander with a high bid of $2300.
Oh! So close!
Hey, you guys, look. Got me some drinks.
- What are you doing? - Open bar.
THOMPSON: Finally, our biggest item of the night.
The 22-foot Gentleman's Daysailer sailboat.
The winning bid was a whopping $20,000.
I won!
That was my guess!
What? What? What?
I guessed $20,000.
Joey, it is an auction. You don't guess. You buy!
What?
I don't have $20,000.
Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani.
[ALL APPLAUDING]
Joey, sit down.
Forget her. You enjoy this. Whoo!
[SIGHS]
What are you doing?
"One nation...
...under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
Ha, ha. I remembered it. The champagne is here.
- Are you okay? - Yes. Yes.
I'm good. Are you good?
Are you perfect?
Yeah. I'm okay.
I'm a little cold. Can I have your jacket?
Oh. Yeah.
Uh, no, you can't have my jacket.
Because then I would be cold.
If you thought you'd be cold, you should have brought a jacket.
Uh, other than that, are you okay?
Are you sure you're okay?
Yes. I'm fine.
In fact, I've been fine for a long time now and I think...
...the reason is you.
That's sweet.
Okay. Um.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Before I met you, I had really little life.
And I couldn't imagine growing old...
Oh, my God.
- I know. But let me say it. - Oh, my God. Richard.
What? I'm Chandler.
Oh, that's Richard.
Maybe he won't see us. Richard!
- Monica. Chandler. CHANDLER: Hey.
I don't know why I did that.
- It's good to see you. - You too. You let your hair grow.
Yeah. Oh, that's right, you always wanted me to.
I see your mustache is back.
Well, my nose got lonely.
And you don't have a mustache, which is good. Ha, ha.
I'm Chandler. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.
I'm sorry. Lisa, Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Richard! No one's supposed to know about us!
See, I did it again.
- Chandler, sit down. - I'll sit down.
MONICA: Good to see you.
Your table is ready, sir.
- Oh. Good to see you guys. - Yes.
If you prefer, this table's available.
That might be fun.
What were you thinking?
I didn't know it was an auction.
I figured I'd take a guess.
Help a charity. Free boat!
Why would a charity give away a free boat?
- I don't know. Charity? - Oh!
Well, just buy the damn boat.
Phoebe, don't you think you've had enough to drink?
I'm just helping the kids.
How is you drinking helping the kids?
Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Mr. Tribbiani. Your contribution brings us...
...a big step closer to building the youth center.
Just out of curiosity, how much is that boat worth?
I think it was valued at 19,000.
Hey, I was pretty close.
Uh, so, bad news.
Um, I can't buy the boat. I don't have any money.
[SNORTS]
Joey! Joey, good one!
[LAUGHING]
Good! Very good!
- So, uh, I think I'm gonna take off now. - You can't leave, Joey!
You agreed to buy that boat. It is a contract.
Plus, if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me.
Well, what am I gonna do, Rach? I don't have that kind of money.
I know. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
This is what we'll do.
We'll go to the next highest bidder, and we'll let them buy it.
Then you're just gonna pay the difference.
Okay.
I don't know why the kids need a youth center anyway.
They should just watch TV after school like I did. And I turned out fine.
Not great.
So we're hiding in the bathroom...
Then I sneak out. But before Monica can, her parents come in.
I hid in the shower, next thing you know...
...they're going at it on the floor.
Oh, my God!
I got a good one.
I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
It's so great seeing you guys again. I'd like to make a toast.
Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship...
...let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures...
...for in the dew of little things...
...the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
Aw.
What?
Oh, my God! You guys!
Before you say anything, have we got a story for you. Guess who we bumped into?
- Who? - Richard!
Oh. Oh.
I thought you were going out with Elizabeth.
I was. Uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Sometimes grownups have commitments they can't get out of.
Maybe she is too young for me.
When I was over there, I felt like I was a babysitter.
I finally see what you were talking about. I don't know what to do.
Just weigh the good stuff about the relationship against the bad.
That's what I did when I first started weighing stuff.
Okay, um, bad stuff. I'm 12 years older than she is.
If school finds out, you're fired.
- She's leaving for three months. - For camp.
Okay, good stuff. Um...
Well, she's sweet and pretty and...
The only question you need to ask is, do you see a future?
Do you see yourself marrying her?
My God. You did it already. You married her, didn't you?
No, I didn't do that. It's just...
Honestly, no, I don't see a big future with her.
Okay, I think that's your answer.
I gotta talk to her. I hate this part.
Forget Elizabeth. If you're not careful...
...you may not get married at all this year.
Rach, Rach.
- Next highest bidder is at table one. - Great.
The guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
You care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
It's a trip for two.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
- That was me. - Oh. Enchanté.
Uh, is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
- That's me. - Ah.
Hello. This is your lucky day, Mr. Bowmont.
The, uh, Gentleman Daysailer has become available again.
I believe you made a bid of $18,000?
You have to pay that. It's not just a guess.
I was actually relieved, uh, I didn't win the boat.
My wife would've killed me.
Are you kidding? She'll love this boat!
- What is your wife's name? - It's Pam.
It's Pam. Just imagine this. The Pam.
Aw.
I don't think she'd like that.
Okay. Uh, imagine this: The Mr. Bowmont.
Ooh.
I don't think so.
Okay, look. Let me paint you a little picture. All right.
You are setting sail up the Hudson. You've got the wind in your ha... Arms.
You get all that peace and quiet you've always wanted.
You get back to nature. You can go fishing.
You get one of those hats, people call you captain.
And then when you're old, Cappy.
What the hell. It's for a good cause. All right!
- No way! It's mine! - What?
The stuff you said, I want that!
But, Joey, you don't have $20,000!
Who cares? I'll make payments! I want the Mr. Bowmont!
Oh, my God! You're back!
Let me see your hand!
Why do you want to see my hand?
I want to see what's in your hand, the trash.
Ew, it's all dirty. You should throw this out.
Okay.
- What did you just do? - What happened?
- Richard was there. I couldn't do it. - Oh, no.
I was gonna do it tomorrow and surprise her. Now you've ruined it.
We didn't.
Who walks into a room and asks to see a person's hands?
A palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor.
- Glove salesman. - Good one!
This is terrible. What am I gonna do?
She only suspects something. So just throw her off the track.
I'll make her think, uh, marriage is the last thing on my mind.
Yeah. Convince her you're scared of commitment.
I can do that. I've had 30 years of practice.
Being you is finally gonna pay off!
Had to go to the basement...
...some idiot keeps stuffing the chute with pizza boxes.
That guy's still doing that?
Hey. My God, let me see your hand!
No, you're too late! She already took out the trash!
ROSS: Wow. I have never had such a healthy breakup.
She was such a grownup about it.
She didn't seem too immature for me.
Did I just make a huge mistake?
Ross? Wait!
Elizabeth, thank God. I was just thinking about...
You suck!
What?
Okay.
Breakup's still on.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Here she comes.
Do I look like a guy who doesn't want to get married?
Yeah.
And, also, a little like a French guy.
I never noticed that before.
- Hey, guys. JOEY: Hey.
What are you up to?
Just hanging out. Talking about, uh, web sites.
Ha.
Ahem. We saw this interesting website about marriage.
How unnecessary it is.
How it's a way for governments to keep tabs on you.
Yeah, Big Brother. Ha, ha.
That's a little crazy.
Although I am glad you're looking at other things on the Internet.
Got me thinking, why would anybody want to get married?
Why? To celebrate the relationship. To solidify the commitment.
To declare your love for one another to the world.
Eh.
Okay. Well, that's good to know.
[TRUCK BEEPING]
[GASPS]
The Mr. Bowmont's here!
A customer wants to compliment you. Shall I let him in?
Sure! I love this part!
- Come on in. - Hi.
Richard.
I'm not here to compliment the chef.
Oh. I hate when people come back to compliment the chef.
Like I've nothing better to do.
What's up?
It was great seeing you the other night.
Good to see you too.
Come down here to tell me that?
No. Came here to tell you something else.
Came here to tell you I still love you.
[English - US - SDH]