1
00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:03,752
So thanks for coming by, guys.

2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,172
We wanted to bounce some ideas off
of you about the wedding ceremony.

3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,799
Oh.

4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,011
- What's the matter? Are you okay?
- Yeah, it's just...

5
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,722
Monica said "wedding."

6
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:18,642
Uh, so we wanted to know if one of you
would like to read something.

7
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:22,438
Okay, yeah, I guess I can do that too.

8
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,357
Too?

9
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,486
Yeah, I kind of, ahem, have something else
planned for you guys.

10
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,573
- Do you mind telling us what it is?
- Sorry.

11
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,993
I'm kind of keeping this one
on the QT.

12
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,829
Well, whatever it is,
I hope it involves winking.

13
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,750
- Hey.
ALL: Hey.

14
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,044
So I talked to one of the DOOL writers...

15
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,296
- What is DOOL?
- Days Of Our Lives.

16
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:53,177
You're not gonna believe it.
My character is coming out of his coma!

17
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,012
- That's wonderful.
- Wow, Joey.

18
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:59,266
And not only that.
I'm getting a new brain!

19
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:04,480
So great things are happening at work
and in your personal life.

20
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,274
What do you mean
you're getting a new brain?

21
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,360
They're killing off one of the characters,
and when she dies...

22
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:13,322
...and her brain is being transplanted
into my body.

23
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,702
Heh, what? A brain transplant?

24
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,496
It's ridiculous.

25
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:24,208
I think it's ridiculous that you haven't
had sex in three and a half months.

26
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:32,382
It's winter.
There are fewer people on the street.

27
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,135
Who are they killing off?

28
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,805
Uh, Cecilia Monroe.
She plays Jessica Lockhart.

29
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,765
- No!
- No!

30
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,811
She is so good at throwing drinks
in people's faces.

31
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,730
I don't think I've ever seen
her finish a beverage.

32
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:49,650
The way she slaps people.
Wouldn't you love to do that?

33
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,276
Don't do it.

34
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,987
And she's been on the show forever.

35
00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:56,949
- It's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.
- Yeah.

36
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,575
Help me out here. When you...

37
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:03,247
When you come out
of the "brain transplant"...

38
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:06,166
...you are going to be her?

39
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:09,253
Yes, but in Drake Ramoray's body.

40
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,005
[STAMMERS]

41
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,759
Why is this so hard for you to get?
I thought you were a scientist.

42
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,508
Rach, so that guy there:

43
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:57,843
Straight or gay?

44
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,554
RACHEL:
Oh.

45
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,682
Oh, yeah, he's too cute
to be straight. Ha, ha.

46
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,227
Ooh, Knockers will help us
figure it out.

47
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,651
All right, straight.

48
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,654
And not subtle.

49
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,450
- He left his cell phone.
- Oh?

50
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,369
We could hand it to Gunther,
he'll put it in lost and found.

51
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:28,081
Or we could use it to call China,
see how those guys are doing.

52
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:32,794
What if, uh, he calls his own cell phone
to find out who found it, and I answer...

53
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,589
...and we start talking
and we fell in love?

54
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,966
Wouldn't that be a great story?

55
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,720
- Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
- Yeah.

56
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,056
That does sound great.
I'm gonna get the phone.

57
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,559
What? Wait.
Why do you get the story?

58
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,479
I don't know. I haven't been
out on a date in so long.

59
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,190
Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.

60
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:58,028
That wasn't a date. That was friends
getting together and having sex.

61
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,405
Okay. Great. See, I get the phone.

62
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,825
No way. You just broke up with Tag
a week ago.

63
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:09,289
Yeah, and until now,
I didn't think I would love again.

64
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:11,583
- Nice try.
- Hey, wait.

65
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,962
How do we fairly decide
who gets the phone?

66
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:16,964
I don't know.

67
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,220
Well, um...

68
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,348
Maybe we could, uh...

69
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,102
Ah-ha! Too slow! Ha-ha-ha.

70
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,647
Ah-ha! Too cocky.

71
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,487
I'm going to date him.
There's nothing you can do.

72
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,780
Yes, there is.

73
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,158
What, are you going to kill him
like you did Charles?

74
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:49,997
Oh, my baby.

75
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,836
DIRECTOR:
Cut!

76
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:57,754
[APPLAUSE]

77
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:04,594
That was a great scene. And that slap
looked so real. How do you do that?

78
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:08,432
- Oh, just years of experience.
- Can I get some ice here?

79
00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:12,936
Anyway, I just wanted to say
how wonderful I think you are.

80
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,856
You're not the fan who's dying,
are you?

81
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:20,068
No, uh, I'm Joey Tribbiani.
We did a scene together yesterday.

82
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,655
- I'm the guy in the coma.
- Oh, that was a real person?

83
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:30,037
I wanted to say, since I'm getting your brain
when you leave the show...

84
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:33,415
...I was wondering if there was any tips...
- I'm leaving the show?

85
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,876
I don't know, why?
Did you hear something?

86
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:40,088
- Who told you that?
- Oh, uh...

87
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,508
- One of the writers.
- Which? Was it bald or was it tall?

88
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,679
You know, it doesn't matter,
because it is not true.

89
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:48,972
Okay. Whoo, eh.

90
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:52,893
And if it were true, how dare you come
to me and ask me for tips...

91
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,854
...about a character I've been playing
for 20 years!

92
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:04,446
Miss Monroe... Oh, there you go.

93
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,576
Okay, look, I have an idea.

94
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,580
Why don't we see what kind of numbers
he has on his speed dial?

95
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,792
And then from that, we can tell
who has more in common with him...

96
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,877
...and whoever does gets the phone.

97
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,339
- Fine. All right.
- All right.

98
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:25,884
- First name on the speed dial is "Mom."
- Oh.

99
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,929
I lost my mom to suicide.

100
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,180
Okay, no way.

101
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,058
You can't use that to get the cute guy
and the last muffin.

102
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,144
Did I use that already today? I'm sorry.

103
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,690
"Ben, Carlos, David..."

104
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,860
Oh, I win. He's got Barney's
on his speed dial.

105
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,363
So? You don't know
that it's Barney's the store.

106
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,491
That could be his friend's house,
or a bar, or...

107
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,244
Who has Barney's the store
on their speed dial?

108
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,579
His new girlfriend.

109
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,253
[BAGPIPES DRONING IN DISTANCE]

110
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,547
[BAGPIPES SCREECHING]

111
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:09,928
What is that?

112
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,848
I think it's the Dying Cat Parade.

113
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,853
Sounds like it's coming
from across the street.

114
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,440
- Oh, my God.
- What?

115
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,900
The thing that Ross was gonna
do at our wedding?

116
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:28,363
He was hanging out with me yesterday
and he said, "You're half Scottish, right?"

117
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,825
No. There is no way.
It cannot be Ross.

118
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:43,420
Unbelievable.
Why is your family Scottish?

119
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,591
Why is your family Ross?

120
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:52,262
He cannot play at our wedding.
Everyone will leave.

121
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,307
I mean, come on. That is just noise!

122
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,392
It's not even a song.

123
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:01,188
Wait. If you listen very carefully, I think...

124
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:04,149
...it's "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.

125
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,366
You're absolutely right.
They are writing me out of the show.

126
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:17,162
They don't know exactly when it's going
to happen, but apparently it's soon...

127
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,830
...and then that's it.

128
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:22,125
I'm sorry. If it was up to me,
you would never leave the show.

129
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,294
- Yeah, thanks.
- No, I mean it.

130
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:27,797
I can't believe they'd do this to you.
And to your fans.

131
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:32,385
They're gonna be devastated.
Heartbroken. They love you so much.

132
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,888
Oh, you're right.

133
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:36,806
Thank you.

134
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,850
- What's your name again?
- Uh...

135
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,811
- Joey.
- Joey. Well, thank you.

136
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:44,606
That is so sweet. Oh.

137
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,192
The... The only reason
I came up to you before...

138
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,236
...was because, well...

139
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,614
...because I'm really nervous
about being you.

140
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:56,576
You know, if you could help me capture
the essence of the character.

141
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:59,704
Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?

142
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,708
All right, Joey, I will help you.

143
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,420
Not because I owe it
to this stupid show...

144
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,840
...but because I owe it to Jessica.

145
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:13,885
- Oh, that's great. Thank you so much.
- You're so welcome.

146
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,763
I've been watching some tapes.
How's this?

147
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:21,101
[IN BRITISH ACCENT] Jessica Lockhart
will never step foot in this place again!

148
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,602
Ever!

149
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,692
Oh, but, Jessica doesn't have
an English accent.

150
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,027
I can do an English accent?

151
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,156
That baby's going on my resume.

152
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,411
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

153
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,663
- Hi, Pheebs. How are you?
- Good.

154
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,583
Um, Phoebe, remember when we were
in the coffeehouse...

155
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,877
...we decided I was gonna keep
the cute guy's phone?

156
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:50,589
- Yeah.
- And I was gonna keep it in my purse...

157
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,550
...so if it rang, I could just pick it up?
- Yeah.

158
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:58,138
And then do you remember going
into my purse and stealing the phone?

159
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,974
Ooh, now you lost me.

160
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,602
- You stole the phone.
- No, I didn't.

161
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:06,813
No? So you're saying that if I called it,
it wouldn't ring?

162
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,148
- No.
- Hmm. Okay.

163
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,985
But while you dial, let me show you
the features of my new ringing handbag.

164
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,194
Mm.

165
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,529
[PHONE RINGING]

166
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,656
Oh, it does work.

167
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,076
- Phoebe.
- That is a different phone.

168
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:24,914
Oh, is it? Hello. Yes, hi.
Is Rachel there?

169
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,627
Yes, she is. Just one moment, please.
It's for me!

170
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,422
- That is damning evidence.
- Ugh.

171
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,257
[PHONE RINGING]

172
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,677
Oh, my God. I bet that's him.

173
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,180
My digital fairy tale's about to begin.

174
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,766
It's ri...

175
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,143
Would you stop doing that?

176
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,313
Hello? Yes, I'm the one
who found your phone.

177
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,107
- Phoebe, you can't do th...
- Shh, I'm on a call.

178
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:57,280
Well, yeah, I mean, you could
pick it up tonight. Say, 8:30?

179
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,241
At my apartment. It's, um...

180
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:03,953
It's, um, 5 Morton Street, apartment 14.

181
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:08,375
And then maybe, you know, after,
we could grab a bite to eat or whatever.

182
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,044
Okay. Okay, I'll see you then. Bye.

183
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,049
You do know that I will be here
when he comes over.

184
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,468
Oh, and how will you know what time
to come over?

185
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,970
You just said it.

186
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,183
Oh.

187
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:33,525
Joey, the essence of the character
is rooted in her confidence.

188
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:37,320
So when Jessica enters a room,
for instance...

189
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,531
...she owns everything...

190
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,576
...and every person in that room.

191
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,663
- You try it.
- Okay.

192
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,006
Right. Well, he's not mad at the room.

193
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:01,428
Try it again. He owns it.
He owns the room.

194
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:06,266
It is his. He owns, owns,
owns the room! He owns it!

195
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,185
It's a little weird,
but it's getting better.

196
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:15,275
Oh, I'm gonna miss this woman so much.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

197
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,944
It's been 20 years of my life.

198
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:22,115
Hey, hey. Maybe... Maybe, uh...
Maybe this is a good thing.

199
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:26,161
You know? Lt'll give you a chance to shake
things up. Play different characters.

200
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,829
You're so talented.

201
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:32,584
Probably should've just left years ago
when the offers were pouring in...

202
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,628
...but, you know,
I just got so comfy here and...

203
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:38,673
Ugh, I turned down some amazing work.

204
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,134
- Like what?
- Well...

205
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,887
...let's just say if I'd left 15 years ago...

206
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:48,808
...the landscape of Mexican
cinema would be very different today.

207
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,479
Wow.

208
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:58,943
But, well, now...
Now's a different time for me.

209
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,783
Oh, hey, come on. Don't, uh...
Don't do this.

210
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,285
Let me tell you something, okay?

211
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:12,081
When I watch you do a scene,
I'm thinking, "Boy, she is a great actress."

212
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:16,711
But... But I'm also thinking, "She is hot."

213
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,382
You think I'm hot?

214
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,636
You own the room.

215
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,263
[CHUCKLES]

216
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,059
We... We should probably get the...

217
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,478
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should get...

218
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:41,820
So when Jessica kisses a man...

219
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,281
...she usually puts, um...

220
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:48,660
...both her hands on the man's face.

221
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,412
Yeah, I notice that.
Is that because she's so passionate?

222
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,958
No, it's because that way
the camera only sees her.

223
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,755
You want to try it?

224
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,091
Yeah, okay.

225
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,897
That was good. That was really good.

226
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,986
But I think that maybe
your hands are just a little off.

227
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,363
- They should be, maybe... Like, right...
- Mm.

228
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,790
Well, I feel like a snack.

229
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:39,669
Do you want some shortbread?
It's Scottish, like you are.

230
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:44,299
Oh, no, thanks. I don't like anything
from my Scottish heritage.

231
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,050
What?

232
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,722
Well, it's just that my entire family
was run out of Scotland by...

233
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,516
...Vikings.

234
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:59,147
It sounds to me like your family's ready
to, uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.

235
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,691
You can't play bagpipes
at the wedding!

236
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,777
How did you know about that?

237
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,280
We heard you play
all the way from your apartment.

238
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,782
Were you the ones who called the cops?

239
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,328
That's not really important right now.
Ahem.

240
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:17,081
What is important is,
while we appreciate the gesture...

241
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:21,461
...we just don't feel that bagpipes
are appropriate for our wedding.

242
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:25,298
- Why not?
- Because we hate them.

243
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:29,302
Just give me a chance to perform for you,
and then decide whatever you want.

244
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:33,056
I'm not gonna tell you what song
I'm gonna play, either. But, uh...

245
00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:35,099
...let's just say when it's over...

246
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:39,103
...I'll bet there'll be
a wee bit o' celebration.

247
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,029
Hey, hey!

248
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,489
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

249
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,824
[IN UNISON]
Who is it?

250
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,034
TOM:
Hi, It's Tom.

251
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,078
- I'm here to pick up the phone.
- Ah!

252
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,498
Whoa, why do you
get to answer the door?

253
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,501
- Why shouldn't I?
- Because it's my apartment.

254
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,878
Well, then I get to give him the phone.

255
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,423
Okay. Good luck explaining
all the calls to China.

256
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:11,719
Hi.

257
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,101
Wow, how long were we arguing for?

258
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,522
Um, ha, ha.

259
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,941
You're not the man
who left the cell phone.

260
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:28,236
- No, that's my assistant.
- Is he coming?

261
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,697
Um, no.

262
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:33,324
Could you, uh, give us one second?

263
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,035
- Sure.
- We'll be right back, sir.

264
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,124
- Well, what do we do?
- I don't know.

265
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,625
Can you believe this?

266
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,045
We were waiting for a hot guy
and an even hotter one shows up.

267
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,922
I know...

268
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,011
What?

269
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,345
Rachel, listen...

270
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:58,725
...if you let me have him,
then I will really owe you one.

271
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,228
All right.

272
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,399
All right, Phoebe, I will let you have him.

273
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:08,776
But you owe me. You owe me big.

274
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:12,488
So which one of you lovely ladies
am I gonna take to dinner, huh?

275
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,824
Oh, that'd be me, sir.

276
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,202
- After you.
- Okay, thank you.

277
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:20,997
[MOUTHS]
Nice.

278
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:29,881
Well, you certainly own that room.

279
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,551
Actually, I rent the whole place.

280
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,054
And I just got what you meant.
Thank you.

281
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,139
[LAUGHING]

282
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,808
- Hi.
JOEY: Hey.

283
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:45,897
Oh, my God.

284
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:50,401
Aah! Jessica Lockhart!
In my apartment!

285
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:53,905
I am such a huge fan.
I am such a huge fan.

286
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,490
Well, it's nice to know that...

287
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,201
[YELLS]
Monica! Monica!

288
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,204
That, uh... That's my roommate, Rachel.

289
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,498
Oh, that explains
all the women's underwear.

290
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,333
Sure. Yeah.

291
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,128
Oh, my God, it's true!

292
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,464
Oh, my God.

293
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,801
Can I just ask you to do me...
Aw... . Just one favor?

294
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,469
Certainly.

295
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,514
Would you slap me?
Would you slap me right here in the face?

296
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:24,268
I'd love to, but my lawyer said
I can't do that anymore.

297
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,356
- All right, here we go.
- Okay.

298
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,567
No, wait. Just one moment. Um...

299
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:34,987
- You're a stupid bitch.
- I really can't slap you.

300
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,823
[GROWLS]

301
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,535
- My God, you're great.
- Thanks for stopping by. See you.

302
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,539
- I am so sorry about that.
- Oh, no, no, no.

303
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,667
Being adored, I'm used to it.
Don't worry about it.

304
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,545
- Oh, my God.
- What?

305
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,714
They sent me today's script.
They never send me the script.

306
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:56,092
- They don't?
- Well, no, I'm in a coma.

307
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,678
This must mean I have lines.

308
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,973
Oh.

309
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,725
How does it happen?

310
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,646
Ooh.

311
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:12,441
You get thrown from a horse
into an electric fence.

312
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,696
A what? Jessica hates horses.

313
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:20,783
I'm guessing after this she's not
gonna be crazy about electricity, either.

314
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:29,500
Loosening the saddle on Mother's horse
was brilliant, Fredrick.

315
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,211
And the electric fence, inspired.

316
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,796
Thank you, sweetheart.

317
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,175
I can't believe she's really gone.

318
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,469
Look around you. All of this is ours.

319
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,555
I don't think so.

320
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,811
Who are you?

321
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,813
What's the matter, Dina?

322
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,774
Don't you recognize your own...

323
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,401
...mother?

324
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,073
DIRECTOR: Cut! That was great,
everybody. Thank you.

325
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,618
That was so wonderful!

326
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:07,205
Oh, I think that you're a better
Jessica than I ever was.

327
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:10,249
- Oh, no.
- Of course not, but you were very good.

328
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,667
Heh, thanks.

329
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:14,212
Guess what? Good news.
I got another job.

330
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,797
Great. Hey, all right! What is it?

331
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,300
A film in Guadalajara.

332
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,053
The airport?

333
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,514
No, that's LaGuardia.

334
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,563
- This is Mexico.
- Oh, wow.

335
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,107
Well, how long will you be gone?

336
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,193
Eight months.

337
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:41,697
- That's a really long time.
- Yeah, but you could come and visit me.

338
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:46,202
I bet that you could, uh,
own a few places down there.

339
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:51,082
Oh, you know, I should probably
buy a place in the city first.

340
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:55,419
And I just got what you meant.
That is a...

341
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,339
- I'll tell you, that's a tricky one.
- It's a tricky one.

342
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,049
Well...

343
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,469
Good luck.

344
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:05,805
You too.

345
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:24,865
Ahem. Okay, now, uh,
remember, I'm still learning.

346
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,827
[BAGPIPES DRONING
THEN SQUEAKING]

347
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,794
One, two, three, four!

348
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,964
[PLAYING KOOL AND THE GANG'S
"CELEBRATION"]

349
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,481
You know the song. Sing along.

350
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:03,279
[MIMICKING BAGPIPES]

351
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:15,916
So?

352
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:17,793
- No!
- No!

353
00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:24,800
[English - US - SDH]