[Jesse Frederick singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get
to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusin' me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody
who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost
out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Doobie doo
bah bah dah ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Okay, Michelle.
Well, your grandma's
gonna make you an outfit
and we have to get
your measurements, okay?
Alright, hold
her arms up, Joey.
Okay. Reach
for the sky, Michelle.
[purring]
I'm sorry. I couldn't resist
those cute little pits of yours.
Alright, here we go.
First, we start off
with the chest.
- Okay.
- And it is 18 inches.
- 18.
- Okay, now we go to her tummy.
Which is 18 inches.
18 inches? Michelle,
you little butterball.
And she's self-basting.
Alright, young lady,
you better hope
grandma's
not knitting anything
with horizontal stripes.
Alright, let's
get her hips here.
- Okay.
- Here we go.
And 18.
18-18-18.
Exact same measurements
as her father.
Alright, stand her up.
I gotta get her inseam.
- Okay. Okay.
- Stand her up.
Come on,
here we go.
Stand up, Michelle.
Come on.
Do something fun.
Make this fun for her.
- Okay. Okay.
- Do some voices.
Okay. What does
a moo cow say?
A moo cow
says moo.
Moo.
- Moo.
(both)
Moo.
- Moo.
(both)
Moo moo moo.
And your dad lets these
people take care of you?
Hey, it's hard
to find good help.
- Moo.
Say moo.
[purring]
Wanna come to
the church bake sale?
I can't. I'm waiting
for my cousin Steve.
I haven't seen him
in 2 years.
D.J., you gotta come.
This year I made the three
wise men out of strudel.
Kimmy, Steve is like
my big brother.
We go ice skating.
We mess around.
We have so much fun. It's like
we're not even related.
What's he look like?
Well, looks
aren't everything.
A real geek-burger, huh?
Well, he does
have glasses
and braces and zits.
But other than that,
he's really cute.
Geek-burger
with cheese.
♪ Da-da da-dah ♪
♪ Da-da da-dah ♪♪
Hey, Steve, da-da da-dah
means get in here.
Sorry, that was my
first da-da da-dah.
Greetings from Baltimore.
Steve?
D.J., how you doin', sport?
Hi, Steve.
What happened
to your glasses?
Oh, I got contacts.
- Your braces?
- Got 'em off.
Your face full
of zits?
They cleared up.
Yeah, one night I went
to bed looking like a nerd
and woke up lookin' like this.
Isn't nature great?
The best.
Kimmy!
Do you realize you just slammed
the door on my face?
What door?
Here, let me help you
with that.
Great. You'll be staying in our
beautiful, spacious alcove.
Alright!
D.J., can you believe
your little Cousin Stevie
is being offered
a baseball scholarship
from Stanford?
I'm really proud of you.
I can't get over how
you've shot up.
Yeah, well,
I give the credit
to good food,
plenty of exercise
and all that sleep
I got during class.
He's funny, too.
I'm sorry.
We haven't met.
I'm, uh...I'm, uh..
You're Kimmy Gibbler.
How did she make it all
the way to fifth grade?
Jesse, Joey,
where are you?
- Hey, Steve-o!
- Hey, Cousin Steve!
Wait, let me guess.
Uncle Danny has told me
all about you guys.
Now, you've got to be Jesse
the great-lookin'
rock 'n' roller
'who gets all the girls and
spends hours on his hair.'
And you must be Joey.
The guy with all
the funny voices.
uh, Steve, that's Joey
and this is Jesse.
[imitating Bullwinkle]
But thanks anyway.
And here's someone else
you haven't met yet.
Say hello to your
new Cousin Michelle.
Oh, hi. Hi, sport.
Coochie-coochie-coo.
Coochie-coo. Hello.
What's the matter,
don't you speak baby?
Steve, I've got our
whole weekend planned out.
This afternoon
we go ice skating, okay?
Well, I don't know, you know.
I-I kind of felt like
playing some basketball.
Alright, b-ball!
Alright, come on.
Let's shoot some hoops!
I'm psyched!
Let me go
get my sweats on.
Oh, D.J., wait, uh..
D.J., somebody's gotta stay here
with Michelle and Stephanie.
Would you mind?
Alright.
Oh, thanks.
We'll be back in an hour.
(Jesse)
Alright, let's go. Let's go.
Let's pass the ball.
Jesse, I'm open.
Eh, Danny.
Danny, right here.
I'm open.
- Think fast, Steve.
- Yup.
Steve, drop pass.
I'm open.
Here you go, Jesse.
- Alright.
- Jesse. Right here. I'm open.
Alright, Joey.
Right here, Joey.
- Joey.
- Right here.
Right here, Jo..
- Joey.
- Got another ball?
- Let's go.
This is gonna be great.
Steve and I
will eat lunch together.
Then I'll show him
these pictures of us
from thanksgiving
two years ago.
How long is Steve
gonna be staying at your house?
Uh, three or four days.
Me, too.
Okay, we got bologna,
salami, and cheese
peanut butter
and grape jelly.
Sounds good.
I just hope you didn't put them
all into one sandwich.
[laughing]
Here, look at this one.
(Kimmy)
'How neat.'
And that one.
- Hi, Stevie!
- Hi, guys. We made lunch.
Lunch!
Food! Food! Food!
[indistinct chatter]
Hey, Laker-Celtics game's on.
Alright!
Some more b-ball!
(in unison)
B-ball, b-ball, b-ball.
(Danny)
'Girls, watch
the game with us.'
Animals.
Glad I saved this.
Come on! Go!
Yes.
- Yes.
Yes.
I really think the Lakers
can repeat as world champions.
If they do,
they'd be the first team
since Boston in '69-'70.
Hey, Steve,
you like my jeans?
They're brand-new.
Oh, yeah, great.
You know, I think the Lakers
have the best record
since Portland back in '78.
Yeah, well, they should,
they got everything.
They got the speed,
the power, the depth
and most importantly,
the Laker girls.
- Yes.
(both)
Yes.
Yes!
What an awesome thing..
...that just happened.
You don't have a clue,
either, do you?
Hey, does anybody else
want another pickle?
Oh, we're out of pickles.
I'll get you some.
If there are no pickles
at my house
I'll take a cab
to the market.
- Bye, Stevie.
- Okay, see you later, Kammy.
That's Kimmy.
Hey, if it's Kammy to him,
it's Kammy to me.
Jesse, I'll bet two bucks
Magic steals the ball.
No, no. Not the way bird's
been playing, buddy. You're on.
Magic steals the ball.
No!
Yes. Two founding
fathers, please.
Thank you.
Joey, that's incredible.
I come from
a long line of psychics.
You mean psychos.
Alright, give me a chance
to win my money back here.
Okay. I'm getting
another vision here.
I'll bet you
two more bucks
that Cooper steals
the ball
passes off to Magic, who'll lead
a fast break down court
end it with a
slam dunk by worthy.
You're out of your gourd.
Alright, you're on.
Look at this.
Cooper steals the ball.
Fast break.
Magic to Scott to Magic.
No, look.
Pass to Worthy. Slam dunk!
No way!
- Unbelievable.
- That's amazing.
Sometimes I'm so good, I
actually win money from myself.
Thank you.
Boy, Joey, you didn't
know all this stuff
when we watched
this game this morning.
[chuckles]
Kids! What an imagination.
One final wager.. Oh!
I'll bet that if you don't give
my money back
you're gonna die.
And I was going
to give you half.
[Michelle crying]
Oh, baby alert. I gotta
go check on Michelle.
You guys stay here
and watch the game.
I'll take care
of the kid.
Oh, thanks.
I'm sure you
can take care of her.
Considering you
have no experience
with an infant whatsoever.
No problem.
Help him.
Hey, your Nephew Steve's
a great kid.
Thanks for being so
nice to him.
Ever since
his dad moved out
he hasn't had much
of this guy stuff.
Yup. Us guys gotta
stick together.
Bite.
Hey, what's
the matter, Michelle?
'Um, are you hungry?'
Sleepy? Grumpy?
Bashful? Dopey?
Sneezy? Doc?
Having fun?
Oh, yeah.
I always have fun here.
Your dad is great.
I'm real glad
you're back.
Hey, is the little kid okay?
(D.J.)
'Uh, I think she needs
a changing.'
Uh, no, thank you.
Be my guest.
Oh, no.
You'll be fine.
I just think you need
a dry run at this.
Well, I think we're a little
too late for that.
No. I mean, practice
on the monkey.
Oh, right.
[sighs]
Alright.
Okay, put the diaper on.
Okay.
Steve, want to go
ice skating tomorrow?
Oh, I can't. Your dad's
taking me to a Warriors game.
Okay.
Well, we can go tomorrow.
And since we'll be right
there at the mall
we can go to a movie
and eat pizza
and my friend Jennifer's
having a boy-girl party.
Well, I'm gonna be pretty busy
the whole time I'm here.
I gotta look
at some colleges
and besides, I'm a little
too old for that kind of stuff.
Okay, so I tape right,
tape left.
Alright, this monkey
is ready to party.
Hi, Michelle.
How's everything
goin', Steve?
Uh, well, I think
this speaks for itself.
Nice work.
Cheetah looks happy.
- Yeah.
- Come on, you're missin' it.
The Bullets are
playing The Pistons.
Alright!
I gotta see this.
D.J., you don't have any plans
for tomorrow afternoon, do you?
Not anymore.
Well, you do now because we're
all goin' to the park.
How does some
touch football sound?
Oh, great! Yeah!
Then we can play
some, uh, some soccer
some basketball,
volleyball, and tennis.
And then
we'll play a rousing game
of let's rush Uncle Danny
to the hospital.
Great. Come on.
See ya.
And, Steve, after the game,
I'm gonna take you
to the locker room and
introduce you to the whole team.
Oh, really? I've got
to meet Ralph Sampson.
The man is
a building.
The team is a city.
[chuckles]
Let's have a little talk here.
What do you think
of your Cousin Steve?
I know. He's just a big jock.
You should have known him
two years ago.
Back when he was my friend.
He doesn't care
about me anymore.
All he cares about
is sports.
Guess you're just
nothing around here
unless you're one
of the guys.
[dramatic music]
I really appreciate this.
Tomorrow's my first real game
of touch football.
And I don't want to look stupid.
Stop. You look
stupid already.
What'd I do?
D.J., you don't
call it football.
- You call it, football!
- Football!
Yes! That's it. Alright,
you got lesson number one.
Now, lesson number two,
the ever popular psych out.
No words.
Just sheer intensity.
Observe.
[laughing]
- It's something like that.
- Something like that.
Alright, let's show her a play,
man. Let's show her a play.
- Alright.
- Watch this.
I do a down-and-out,
fake to the flag
buttonhook back,
and I'll hit you, okay?
- Got it.
- Here we go.
You're gonna love this.
You ready?
Hut! Hut! Hut! Go!
- Aah!
- Alright.
- Grr!
- 'Go, Joey!'
(Jesse)
'Alright.
Watch this.'
I'm reading
the defense, right?
I'm checking
the pass rush.
I'm checkin', I'm checkin'
my receivers.
I'm-I'm-I'm still
checking my receivers.
I'm checking my watch.
Joey! Where are you?
Sorry. I just stopped off for
a quick bite in the secondary.
- Hit me, I'm open!
- Argh!
- Touchdown!
- Spike it!
The football!
- Yeah!
- Ya-hoo.
Hoo.
Now, this is fun.
How do you guys
know all this?
- Well, 'cause we're guys.
- Yeah.
You see,
it's in our blood.
Guys are just born
knowin' how to play..
(in unison)
Football!
Alright, huh!
Huh! Huh!
[instrumental music]
Half that money's
mine, kid.
Want another one
of my sandwiches?
Uh, no, thanks.
Three's enough.
Speaking of basketball.
Did you know
that Wilt Chamberlain
scored the most points
ever in an NBA game?
And Moses Malone
joined the league
right out of high school.
And if the Bulls
ever built their team
around Michael Jordan,
they'd be unstoppable.
Enough talk.
Let's play football!
Alright!
Alright,
we'll pick teams.
I'll be a captain,
because it's my football.
Alright,
I'll be a captain.
Because your hair
looks like a helmet.
Way to go, football!
- Yes.
- Watch Michelle.
There you go.
Let's go. Let's pick.
Okay, the first person
I'm gonna pick..
- My man, Steve.
- Yeah, alright, Uncle Danny.
Alright, let me see the first
person I'm gonna pick is..
My man D.J.
Yeah!
I want you!
Let me see.
If I'm not
on Steve's team, I'll die.
Kimmy.
Way to go,
big Stevie.
Okay, here we go.
Uh, let's see, I'll pick..
I need someone with good hands.
I'll pick my man..
Michelle.
Come on, Michelle.
High five. High five.
Can you believe he
picked Michelle over me?
Steph, please.
I have my own problems.
Okay, Steph. You
can be on our team.
- What?
- Low five.
Whoo!
Somebody please pick me
before a stray dog shows up.
Okay, we'll take Joey
but you guys gotta
spot us a touchdown.
- It's only fair.
- Enough messin' around.
Let's play football!
- Football!
Alright, here we go.
You guys remember, the end zones
are that bench
and this tree right here, okay?
Let's go, Joey.
Let's get this game underway.
Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.
- Alright.
Gibbler,
you're dead meat.
Alright.
And hut! Hut! Hut!
Here we go.
Here we go. D.J., D.J!
- Yes!
- 'Whoo!'
Touchdown!
Yeah! Whoo!
(all)
Ho.
Huh! Huh! Huh!
(in unison)
In your face!
Don't worry
about it, big guy.
You know,
I'm worried about you.
Told you you were
dead meat, Gibbler.
Steve, aren't we having
the best time?
Yeah.
What are you
looking at, chump!
Nothin', fool!
Let's get 'em,
Stevie.
Don't even
think about it.
- Okay, Steph. Here we go.
- Here we go. Here we go.
On three.
- Hut! Hut! Hut!
- Alright.
Ohh! Got her!
We almost fell for the old
statue of Stephanie trick.
Alright, alright, you girls
have had your fun.
Now, it's time for us guys
to play some real football.
- Alright!
Hey! Just because we're girls
doesn't mean we can't play.
Let's just put
the ball down
and see what you
guys are made of.
(in unison)
Ooh.
Okay, Steph.
Let's go.
- Alright, come on.
- Here we go.
- Ready, sweetie?
- Last play.
Okay, on two. Hut! Hut!
I like three better.
Oh, sorry.
You're right.
My mistake.
Okay, on three.
Hut! Hut! Hut!
Yes. Come on, Steph.
Steve, go long.
Oh, no!
Yeah!
D.J., what are you doing?
Playing football, man.
This is touch football.
What's your problem?
I got no problem.
You got a problem?
Yeah, that was
a pass interference.
Automatic first down.
No way, you wimp!
D.J., Steve's right.
You were way out of line.
We're not playing
tackle here.
Oh, sure,
take Steve's side.
You guys
are such buddies.
Why don't you
just adopt him?
That's what you want,
isn't it?
Great. Now I'm gonna start
crying like a little girl.
D.J.
- Half time.
- Yup.
Half time.
Shake it off,
big fella.
D.J., what's with the "why
don't you adopt him" stuff?
Oh, come on, dad.
It's pretty obvious.
You're taking Steve
to ball games
having fun, high fives
all over the place.
You know Steve's dad
moved out last year.
Steve needs me right now.
It's real important
for him to--
I know. Hang out
with the guys.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing, unless
you're a girl.
Dad, I want to spend
time with him, too.
We used to be
such good friends.
I don't know
what happened.
I'll tell you
what's happened.
Steve's grown up a lot
in the past two years.
He's becoming
a young man.
D.J., I know you're having
a hard time with this.
But that's no reason
to clean his clock.
Fine, dad.
I'll go take Michelle
and Stephanie
and we'll go play
"Duck, Duck, Goose."
[sighs]
[knock on door]
Who is it?
(Steve)
'It's Steve.
Can I come in?'
Uh, yeah, I guess.
You sure it's safe?
Yeah.
Thanks, I, uh..
...didn't want to
make the wrong move
and get creamed again.
Well, you know,
I've been here two days
and this is first time
I've ever been up to your room.
You're a busy guy.
Yeah, well, my schedule
kinda opened up
and I was hoping that
maybe I could talk to you.
To me? You want to talk
to little old me?
Yeah. Look, D.J., I was-I was
wondering why you clobbered me.
'Cause I felt like it.
Well, why did you
feel like it?
'Cause I did.
Well, why did you?
Because I was
mad at you.
I was really looking
forward to you visiting
and you didn't even want
to go ice skating.
I thought we could do stuff
like we did last time.
I miss the old Steve.
[dramatic music]
D.J., I'm still
the same Steve.
No, you're not.
The old Steve wouldn't have
taken this long
to come up to my room.
D.J., I'm sorry.
I wasn't thinkin'.
Look, but I'm here now.
D.J., I'm still your cousin
and I still love you.
So don't you think we can
try and be friends again?
You seem so much
older than me now.
Well, I know, it may seem like
a big difference now
because-because I'm 17
and you're 11.
But, you know, when
I'm 100 and you're 94
you'll probably hardly even
notice the difference.
So..
So, you want to
start all over?
Great idea. Alright, I'll go
outside and come right back in.
Okay.
[knock on door]
Da-da-ta-da.
Greetings from Baltimore.
Hi, Steve. What happened to your
braces, glasses and zits?
Oh, um...all gone.
Isn't nature great?
Hey, I got a great idea.
What do you say
we go ice skating?
Nah, that's
for little kids.
But if you really
want to go..
Yeah.
[instrumental music]
♪ Ah ah ah ♪♪
[theme music]