[Jesse Frederick singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ Did I get to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody
who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're
lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Doobie doo
bah bah dah ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Samantha, I promise,
this is gonna be
the most romantic weekend
of your life.
We'll have a little
chateaubriand
a little Dom Perignon.
Yes, and for dessert...an
empty house.
You know the family's
going away to Disneyland. Yeah.
Two points.
Well, they're leavin'
in three minutes.
So, if you leave now,
make all the lights
you'll be here in four minutes
and two minutes after that
you and I'll be
in each other's arms
gazing into
each other's eyes
doing a little thing
I like to call..
Uncle Jesse!
The hokey-pokey.
Bye, Aunt Irene.
What is it, kid?
- I'm going to Disneyland!
- Alright!
Disneyland! Disneyland!
Disneyland! Come on, everybody!
We're gonna be late
for Disneyland!
Disneyland, Disneyland,
Disneyland!
(Jesse)
'Stephanie! Hold it!'
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Alright, take
a deep breath now, relax.
Inhale, exhale.
Very good. You okay?
- I'm fine.
- Good.
Disneyland, Disneyland,
Disneyland!
Why aren't we
at Disneyland?
Steph, Steph.
Calm down.
Disneyland,
Disneyland, Disneyland!
Let's go, let's go,
let's go!
I think you need to switch
the kid to decaf.
Steph, the plane
won't leave any earlier
just because we're
the first ones on it.
If we're the first ones on,
we'll be the first ones off
and the first ones in line
for the Matterhorn.
Matterhorn?
♪ Danny we gotta go hoohoo ♪
♪ Lelelele heehee ♪♪
D.J., tell me again
how it's gonna be.
Well, Disneyland has
the greatest rides.
While you're standing in line
Mickey and Minnie Mouse
come up and play with you.
No! Why are we yakking about?
We could be there!
Come on, let's go.
Joey, open the door
before she goes through it.
Yeah. Stephanie's right.
Tinker Bell's awaiting.
Come on, everyone,
skedaddle. Let's go.
Yeah. Let's skedaddle.
Right. Here we go.
We're leaving. Everyone's--
I'm going.
Jesse, you sure you don't
wanna come along with us?
Are you kidding?
No, no, no!
Who's gonna
pick up the mail?
Who's gonna
get the newspaper?
Who'll feed the dog?
Uh, Jess.
We don't have a dog.
Well, just because
it's not our dog
doesn't mean we
shouldn't feed him.
Uncle Jesse, I really
wish you were coming along
but if we don't leave soon,
I'm gonna go bananas!
She's right. Any minute, bam.
Bananas. Let's go. Everyone.
♪ Heigh-ho heigh-ho ♪
♪ La la la ♪
♪ La la la la ♪♪
They're going
to Disneyland!
Yeah.
[instrumental music]
You know, it's amazing.
I mean, you've been playin'
tennis all your life.
I just started today and I
beat you three straight sets.
That's wild!
What are you
smilin' about?
Nothing. I'm just smiling.
You're not
just smiling.
That's a you let me win
smile, isn't it?
Well..
Tell me you didn't let me win.
I didn't let you win.
Oh. She let me win.
Aww.
You tough guys
are so cute.
[imitating Samantha]
"You tough guys
are so cute."
Oh, man, this is great.
Listen, nothing.
Sam, did you realize that you
and I've been going out a month
and it's the first time
we've been alone together.
I know. With me living
at my folks' house.
Yeah, and me livin'
at Pee-Wee's Playhouse.
But tonight...you and I
will play house.
Ah.
You know what?
We're gonna celebrate.
We're gonna celebrate,
I'm gonna make you
the most romantic
candlelight dinner
you've ever had
in your whole life.
Ooh. That sounds perfect.
So, what will it be?
Extra crispy
or original recipe?
That's cute.
I'm gonna go
take a shower
and I'll be
thinkin' about you.
Have mercy!
And if you
hear me laughing
it's 'cause I'm thinking
of your backhand.
Look out!
♪ I'm just a loony
love machine ♪
♪ And I won't work
for no money but ♪
♪ Ooh babe ♪
♪ I'm a love machine ♪
♪ And I won't work for ♪
♪ I am just a love machine ♪
♪ I am just
a love machine ♪
Too obvious.
♪ I am just that wacky
crazy love machine ♪
Sammy, brought you
some champagne.
'Jesse.'
Can't blame me
for tryin'.
- 'Thank you.'
- Here you are.
If you excuse me, I'm going to
slip into my evening attire now.
[laughing]
Okay, let's go.
Come on, Steph.
Missing Disneyland
isn't the end of the world.
Hey, you know airplanes
can't fly when it's foggy.
I hate fog.
Birds can fly in fog.
We should've
taken a bird.
Steph, I promise, we'll go
to Disneyland another time.
Yeah, it was Michelle's
first time, too.
Look how well
she's takin' it.
What does she know?
She puts her food up her nose.
Steph, I'll tell you what.
I got a great idea.
We're gonna make tonight family
fun night right here at home.
Hey, what could be
more fun than that?
I'll tell you what. Something
that's starts with a D.
and ends with a land.
These disappointments are
really tough on a 6-year-old.
I still can't believe
we missed "Captain EO."
♪ I am just an LM ♪
♪ And I won't work
for nobody but you ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I'm just a love.. ♪♪
[humming]
Steph, what do you
wanna do tonight?
Mope.
I'll drop off
the kid.
I'll let Jesse
know we're back.
Jesse, we got fogged in.
We're back.
What did
you say, Jess?
Hey, Jess.
You wear these clothes
every time we leave the house?
Have mercy.
- You're not Jesse.
- Neither are you.
I'm Samantha.
I'm me.
Uh, Danny.
That's, uh, short
for Daniel.
It's long for Dan.
Look, maybe I should
just get dressed.
Oh, no, no. Not in there.
Your clothes would get wet.
Excuse me.
Door used to be
over there.
I'm really sorry.
Imagine my surprise.
Imagine if you came in
and saw me in the shower.
Then you'd really
be sorry. Trust me.
Oh, uh, there's, there's shampoo
and conditioner in there
and there's some
Woolite on the shelf
in case you want to
soak a fine washable.
Thank you.
Phew!
Jesse!
(Danny)
'Jesse!'
Oh, no.
It couldn't be.
Could it?
Wow! Look at
all the food.
Oh, yum.
Steph, this is great.
Let's take a trip
to Dinnerland.
[imitates carnival music]
Oh, it's Dinnerland.
There's lots
of fun here.
Oh, I love it here
at Dinnerland.
Oh, shrimp.
Oh, yum, yum, yum.
[belching]
♪ I am just a love ♪♪
Ah.
- Hey, Jess. How's it goin'?
- Hi, Uncle Jesse.
Let go of my shrimp!
Put down my sh..
Why aren't you guys
at Disneyland?
Fog, fog, fog.
I hate fog.
Jesse, I-I just met
your friend upstairs.
She's very...clean.
Okay, sure hope we didn't ruin
your weekend, Jess.
Oh, no. Why would you
think that?
Just because I've been
waiting a month to be with Sam.
I've waited
five and a half years
to go to Disneyland.
I hate fog.
I really hate fog.
[instrumental music]
Okay! Are we ready for
family fun night?
- Yeah!
- Alright!
Hot dog.
I know, let's sing your
favorite one from school.
I got it all planned. Here we
go. Jesse, you play the guitar.
D.J., you play
the tambourine.
Jess, do you know
"If you're happy and
you know it, clap your hands?"
Oh, yeah, that was on
Motley Crue's
first Christmas album, right?
On three. Everybody!
One, two, three!
♪ If you're happy and
you know it clap your hands ♪
♪ If you're happy and
you know it clap your hands ♪
Take it, Steph!
♪ If you're happy
and you know it ♪
♪ Then your smile
will surely show it ♪
♪ If you're happy and you
know it clap your hands ♪♪
Yay! Wasn't that festive?
Next verse, on three!
One, two, three!
♪ If you're happy and you know
it stomp your feet ♪
Everybody.
♪ If you're happy and
you know it stomp your feet ♪
[imitating Popeye]
♪ If you're happy
and you know it ♪
♪ Then your smile
will surely shows it ♪
♪ If you're happy
and you know it ♪
Hey. Stomp your feet, would ya?
A-gah-gah-gah-gah!
Do you guys have
this much fun every night?
Yeah, it's hard
to believe, isn't it?
Steph, are we having
a good time?
It's no Country Bear Jamboree.
Honey, if you don't
think about...you know where
it'll be a lot easier.
I know! We'll sing
"Row Row Row Your Boat."
We'll do it as a round.
It'll be great!
Dad, that's dopey.
Dopey! Don't say that!
Honey, look, it's
been a long day.
I know, you're-you're tired,
you're worn-out, you're grumpy.
- Grumpy!
- Sorry.
What I meant was
you're probably very slee..
Exhausted.
You were gonna
say sleepy.
Thanks for trying, but family
fun night's just not any fun.
Guess that kinda
puts a damper on Simon Says.
I'll go talk to her.
Here.
Here. Take your kid.
Thanks.
[clears throat]
Why don't we go into the kitchen
so that, uh..
(Joey)
'So that Jesse doesn't
have to make that face.'
Yeah.
Can you believe it, sport?
We're finally alone.
You know,
your family's terrific.
I had a great time tonight.
Yeah, but we could've had
a really great time tonight.
Well, let's do it
tomorrow night.
I know this terrific
bed and breakfast place
in the Napa Valley.
That sounds so..
...so frustrating.
I promised I'd babysit
the munchkin tomorrow night.
Well, another time.
Hey, they've gotta get
that little girl
to Disneyland some day.
I'm gonna
miss you tonight.
What are you
doin' here?
Here. Here's five bucks.
Go catch a movie.
Steph, how you doin'?
I've been better.
I know how you feel.
No, you don't. You've
been to Disneyland.
Yeah, but I know what's it like
not to get what you want.
Remember when
I was supposed to do
that Oat Boats cereal commercial
and you got it instead?
Uh-huh.
Well, what did I do?
Did I mope?
No. You chased me
around the kitchen
and tried to kill me.
Okay. Bad example.
Well, there's only one sure way
to make you smile.
The tickle monster!
It's not working.
Then how come
you're laughing?
I'm not.
This is sad laughing.
Steph, I'm so glad
to see you happy.
That didn't count.
Tickle monster
made me laugh.
Stephanie, you have
every reason to be sad
and I completely
understand.
Thank you.
Look, Steph, I want you to
really think about this.
You're not always
gonna get your own way.
While you're spending
all this time
being sad about
missing out on one thing
you're missing out on
a lot of other fun things.
Like our family sing-along.
That wasn't
so much fun.
It wasn't fun for you
because you didn't
want it to be fun.
I had fun.
And D.J. had fun. Right, Deej?
Ah, it was okay.
Fun. Big fun.
So, it's up to you. Either you
can feel sorry for yourself.
Or you can feel bad
for a little while
and then shake it off and
move on to the next fun thing.
But I think I know
what you're gonna do
because you like
to smile too much.
- Right?
- I guess so.
Steph, I know something fun
we can do right now.
What?
Well, it has to do with dad
and a certain monster.
- Uh-oh.
- "Uh-oh" is right.
Here comes the tickle monster!
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
♪ If you're happy and you
know it clap your hands ♪
♪ If you're happy and you
know it clap your hands ♪
♪ Go over there
and leave me alone ♪
♪ Comb your hair
right over there ♪
Come on, stop it!
I can't take it.
♪ Clap your hands ♪
♪ If you're happy and you
know it clap your hands ♪♪
Hey, Jess,
what's going on?
I don't know.
Joey, every time I come
in this room, it seems like
there's more pink bunnies
on the wall.
Well, you know
how rabbits are.
Joey, sit down
a second.
Sure.
Joseph, can I talk
to you man to...no, man to you?
Sure, buddy.
Hey, you look a little down.
Look, I'm sorry if we wrecked
your night with Samantha.
No, it's not just
Samantha, it's..
Joseph, be honest with me.
Doesn't living here
get to you sometimes?
- No.
- Never?
Never. I love it.
You mean to tell me,
you love changing diapers
making school lunches, chasing
the girls all around town
changing diapers, helping them
with their homework
picking up their toys,
did I mention changing diapers?
Some of those tasks
are more rewarding than others.
Alright, why?
Why, Joey,
why are you happy here?
Well, Jess, I think it's because
when I was growing up
I didn't have
brothers and sisters.
And I like being part
of a big family.
I like having people to care
about, that includes you.
Thank you.
And besides, this is
the only place I've ever lived
that always
has ice cream in the freezer.
Pass.
Joey, though..
Don't you ever ask yourself,
what am I doin'?
I mean, I used to be
this freewheelin'
livin' on the edge,
no strings kinda guy.
And now..
Now, it seems like
I'm-I'm married or somethin'.
I mean, I have all the
responsibilities and hassles
of three kids, yet I can't
even deduct them from my taxes.
Well, technically
you could if you married Danny.
Joey, do you realize
every night
I sleep here, I sleep alone?
Want to get bunk beds?
No, I don't..
Joey, I'm pouring my heart out
here to you
and you're
making jokes.
I know. I'm sorry.
Alright, talk to me.
I..
I don't know, I..
I guess it's this whole
situation
it's just gettin' to me.
I mean, I have zero privacy.
I-I-I try
to write my music
and I have all these
distractions.
I-I write music,
I write it out-out of
my own life experiences,
you know?
My last three songs have been
about changing diapers
the measles
and tub toys.
I thought that tub toy song
was very danceable.
I just feel I have things to
accomplish in my life, you know?
I mean, there's things
that I wanna do
and there's things I wanna
experience, and..
I don't know, but maybe..
Maybe livin' here
is holding me back.
I don't know what the hell's
happened to my life, pal.
But I gotta regain
control of it.
Hey, Jess, look at
the bright side.
If you hadn't moved in here we'd
never be as close as we are.
I know.
Hey...sleep on it.
'Hey.'
Thank you, my friend.
[instrumental music]
(Samantha)
'Jesse?'
Samantha?
Jesse?
Sammy, what are you
doin' here?
I just wanted
to see you.
Yeah, you shouldn't be in here.
Everybody's home.
Uncle Jesse, will you help me
with my homework?
D.J., it's the middle of night.
But the closer I study to my
test, the less I forget.
Uncle Jesse, will you give me
a piggyback ride?
Uncle Jesse doesn't wanna give
you a piggyback ride.
Yes, he does.
No, he doesn't.
Yes, he does.
No, he doesn't.
Yes, he does.
Uncle Jesse,
change my diaper.
You can't talk!
And you're not allowed
to have girls here.
Girls, you gotta go.
Come on. Everyone.
Off to bed.
Let's go. Come on.
Oh, good, guys, okay, great.
Take over for me.
It's your turn.
You're their uncle.
We could be so happy.
Everybody out.
Everybody go.
Come on, let's go!
Everyone, go, go, go.
Hold it.
You, you can stay.
(D.J.)
Uncle Jesse?
Help me with
my homework.
I want
a piggyback ride.
(Joey)
Jesse?
It's your turn.
You're their uncle.
We could be so happy.
Change me.
Feed me.
Change me.
Feed me.
'Feed me.'
Change me! Feed me!
Feed me!
Change me! Feed me.
Oh, my God.
There's two Michelles.
They're multiplying!
Change me!
Feed me!
- You're their uncle.
- Your turn.
- Help me with my homework.
- You're their uncle.
- Your turn.
- So happy.
No!
I want
a piggyback ride.
Help me with
my homework.
It's your turn.
You're their uncle.
We could be so happy.
- Change me!
- Feed me!
Change me! Feed me!
You're their uncle.
[screaming]
Oh! I can't take it anymore.
I gotta get out
of this house.
[instrumental music]
Jess, wake up!
Rise and shine!
Come on, let's go! Get up!
"Guys, I didn't wanna
wake anybody up
"so I left this note.
"I need to get away
for a while.
"I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know when I'll be back.
"Or even if I will be back.
"I don't think
it's working out for me here.
"I'll call soon.
Tell the girls I love them.
"Jesse."
[dramatic music]
Jesse ran away from home?
I'm hungry.
Where's Uncle Jesse?
[theme music]