[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Aaah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ When did I get
to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Morning, everyone.
- Morning.
Hey, it's Jesse.
Remember him?
Jess, we've barely seen you
since the twins were born.
- How's it going, dad?
- Oh, going fine.
And it's not dad,
it's...Mighty Dad.
I, uh, stayed up all night
and finished the nursery.
I got to sweep the sawdust, take
the kids clothes, fold them.
And I got just enough time
for a nutritious breakfast.
- Lay some doughnuts on me.
- Oh.
- Here you go
- 'And we thank you.'
[doorbell rings]
Oh, my ride's here.
(Becky)
'Come in, Mighty Dad.'
Uh, read you
loud and clear, Mighty Mama.
'We have a situation
in the attic.'
- Need a backup?
- 'Affirmative.'
'We've got
a number two in progress'
'from twin number one.'
10-4 on number one's
number two. Over and out.
Girls, I'd like
you to say hi to Vicky Larson.
She's been filling in
for Becky on my show.
- Hi.
- Hey!
Dad, you're right.
She is a pretty girl.
Why, thank you, Danny.
Hey, daddy, are you going
to ask her on a date?
Michelle, where would
you get an idea like that?
From Stephanie.
- I heard it from D.J.
- I heard it from Joey.
I heard it from Danny.
You see how these crazy
rumors get started?
[chuckles]
Girls, I'm-I'm sure
that Vicky feels
that you don't mix
business with pleasure.
- Well, yes. I do feel that way.
- Great, it'll work out perfect.
I won't ask you out,
and you won't say no.
Hey, you guys!
You'll never guess
who "Bay City Magazine"
picked as
"Bachelor of the Month."
[Joey laughs]
Thank God,
he left his clothes on.
Thank you, Kimmy.
Oh-ho, wow.
What a surprise!
I, uh, I don't know what to say.
Could say
three years of sending in
your picture finally paid off.
Vicky, I-I hope
you don't think I did this
just as an easy way
to meet women, you know.
Oh, of course, not,
you probably did it
to get publicity for the show.
Absolutely.
Having lot of strange women
chasing after me
boy, that's that's
the last thing I want.
[knock on door]
[panting]
Hi, does the "Bachelor
of the Month" live here?
Yes, he does, but you're
the last thing he wants.
Kimmy!
Alright, look, hi.
Sorry about
that door in your face.
Come on in. I'm Danny Tanner.
[panting]
No problem. I'm Penny Allen.
I just jogged over
from down the street
and across the Bay Bridge.
If you're not busy, can I
take you out to dinner tonight?
- Sure.
- Oh.
[chuckles]
We can talk about it
on the show.
- That will be fascinating.
- Uh! Great.
I'll pick you up at seven, huh?
Well, I got to run. Bye.
Bye.
Huh!
Well.
What do you know?
I, uh...got
myself a date tonight.
But what about
my bedtime story?
We'll fill in for dad.
Yeah. How often does dad
have a date anyway?
Not very often.
[instrumental music]
Alright, Nicky, Alex, you're
about to take your first look
at your brand-new nursery.
Huh? Come, guys. Come with us.
Hey.
Ahh.
What do you guys think?
I can feel the excitement.
Look at this.
Look, look, look.
We've got you
an Elvis mobile. Huh?
Watch this.
They're all shook up.
See?
Honey, I just hope
they can sleep with the glare
from those sequined jump suits.
They'll be okay.
Alright,
what's next, Mighty Mama?
[inhales]
Diaper check, Mighty Dad.
Here we go.
Up we go.
[sniffing]
Ahh. Fresh as a daisy.
Ugh, I got the fertilizer.
Uh, let me ask
you guys a question here.
No, no, uh, every time
you're wet, you're dry.
Every time you're
awake, you're asleep.
Everytime you're
spitting up, you're hungry.
Guys, you're identical twins.
Do something identical.
Honey, you seem a little cranky.
Why don't you take a nap?
What? A nap?
Two hours of sleep a night is
more than enough for Mighty Dad.
That's the spirit.
Next time, I say,
we go for triplets.
You may have to go without me.
[indistinct chatter]
"And from then on,
all the other tugboats cheered
when Melvin, the littlest
tugboat, went "Toot toot."
The end.
When daddy tells the story
he goes, "Toot toot."
"Toot toot."
A little louder.
"Toot toot!"
A little softer.
"Toot toot."
You forgot to pull the handle.
Here's your glass
of kitchen water.
Are you sure
it's from the kitchen?
Taste it.
Yep. That's the kitchen.
Now, we turn on the light.
And we lock your dollhouse.
- Sweet dreams.
See, I told you we could
do it just like daddy.
Uh-uh.
You need to work
on your tugboat.
Well, I think I'll have
another chance.
Dad made a date for
every night this week.
You've got to be kidding!
No. Dad's out
having fun right now.
What could be more fun than me?
♪ Top coat ♪
♪ Top hat ♪
♪ I'm not worried
'cause my wallet's fat ♪
♪ Black shades ♪
♪ White glove ♪
♪ Lookin' sharp ♪
♪ Lookin' for love ♪
♪ They come runnin'
just as fast as they can ♪
♪ 'Cause every girl's crazy ♪
♪ 'Bout a sharp-dressed man ♪♪
[upbeat music]
[laughing]
♪ Wake Up ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Before we bring out
our first guest
I'd like to give
you the update
on Danny Tanner, "Bachelor
of the Month," day ten.
Huh, last night was so romantic.
Amber and I spent
the evening riding bumper cars.
Oh-ho-ho, boy, can she bump.
[laughs]
Danny, I don't think
our viewers don't need to hear
about another one
of your shallow dates.
- Our first guest for today--
- Excuse me a second.
Did you-did you
just say shallow?
Well, you've been out
with 24 women in 10 nights.
What would you call that?
Quality time.
Like I said, Danny, shallow.
Oh, I'm sure
your dating life is so deep.
I can just picture you out
with some stuffed shirt..
...discussing
Russian literature
over white wine and Brie.
[scoffs]
Oh, I can imagine what
your dating life's like.
[scoffs]
"Gee, Amber..
...I wonder which
bumper car goes the fastest."
Well, if you'd
if you'd like to find out
what I'm like on a date
why don't you, uh,
experience the real thing?
[scoffs]
Are you asking me out right here
in front of all our viewers?
Sure makes it harder
for you to say no, doesn't it?
[both laugh]
Yeah, why don't you, uh, come
over to my house tonight
and and I'll-I'll
take you out to dinner.
What do you say, uh?
Is it a date?
- It's a date.
- Great.
And then, uh, tomorrow
you can you can tell everybody
that I'm not the shallow,
bubble-headed bachelor
that you think I am.
Or I can call it like I see it.
Jess, that is the third Cindy
that's called Danny today.
How does he
keep all these women straight?
Well, say, I used
to use memory tricks
like, uh,
like if I went out with Lisa
and she wore lace
it was Lacy Lisa, right?
Uh, Heather wore leather,
so, uh, that one's easy.
Uh, and then
like Rhonda was like, uh..
...help me, Rhonda.
Help, help me, Rhonda.
- Help you do what?
- Ohh!
Here, this stuff's clean.
Great, 'cause all
this stuff is dirty.
- Oh!
- Does it ever end?
Honey, one more thing.
Don't forget to change
the crib liner
because Alex spit up again.
Is it my imagination or is more
coming out than going in?
I know. It's one of
the mysteries of science.
[Becky sighs]
Hey, what happened
to Mighty Dad and Mighty Mama?
We're mighty pooped.
You know, you two should
really pace yourselves.
- The twins don't even move yet.
- Oh.
[baby crying]
Yeah, that's a wet cry.
(both)
Whose turn is it?
(both)
Yours.
(both)
Alright, I'll go.
"Once upon a time,
there was a lad named Daniel.
"And he became
the prince of the month.
"But Prince Daniel's
co-host, Princess Vicky
"she thought that Daniel
was nothing more
"than a shallow maiden chaser.
"So Prince Daniel decided
to sweep Princess Vicky
"off of her feet with his
charming, dashing ways
"and make her eat her words
in front of
the whole TV kingdom."
Not your best story.
Wait. I'm not done.
"Then the two of them
sailed off into the sunset
on a beautiful magic tugboat."
Toot toot."
I do love that tugboat.
Okay, honey.
You've got your kitchen water.
We turn the night light on,
we lock the dollhouse door
and we say sweet dreams.
I thought we
were going to play.
Daddy's tucking me in.
Before dinner?
Well, Teddy,
I have a date tonight
so we're doing Michelle's
bedtime routine a little early.
Now I can get up and play.
This is a strange family.
[chuckles]
I'll see you
in the morning, honey.
Daddy, can I go on
your date with you?
No, no, dating, that's something
you'll do when you're..
...well, in your 30s.
Goodnight.
My daddy's always leaving me.
How come?
'Cause he's
"Spatula of the Month."
If you say so.
I want to go on my daddy's date.
But your daddy said no.
Then we have
to be very sneaky.
Uh...we?
That's right.
You're my date.
[instrumental music]
Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky
are on their way down.
Is their surprise dinner ready?
Yes, I made my specialty.
Pork and beans
in a white wine sauce.
Hey, everybody.
- 'Hey, Danny.'
- Hi, dad.
Guess where I'm going?
(in unison)
On a date.
Yeah, but not just any date.
Guess who I'm going out with?
(in unison)
Princess Vicky.
Man, I told that story
to everybody.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Steph, sweetie, what is it?
We're very busy.
Ah, the Katsopolis party
of two. Right this way.
Your table is awaiting.
Here and right over there.
Wow. This is very sweet of you.
Uh, you guys did this for us?
That's right.
Jesse and Rebecca.
You've won a night
of free child care
and a romantic
dinner for two.
Pork and beans?
[Italian accent]
In a white wine sauce.
- Well, thank you.
- Thank you, guys.
(Joey)
Alright.
- Wow.
- Boy.
Gee, I can't believe we have
the whole evening to ourselves.
Right, this is a chance to have
a nice adult conversation
without talking
about the babies.
Yeah, we'll just catch up
on the rest of our lives.
- You're right.
- 'Okay.'
So how's your music going?
[sighs]
Well, I haven't, uh, spent
much time in the studio
since the babies were born,
oop, mmm, babies.
[chuckles]
So, uh, so, you miss
the "Wake Up, San Francisco"
show?
Boy, tell you the truth, since
the babies have been born, I..
...uh, I haven't thought much
about it. I said babies.
- You said it, right.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
[clears throat]
Uh!
You know Nicky
did the cutest thing today.
- Really? What'd he do?
- 'Ha ha ha.'
Well, when he sneezed, he looked
like a little bunny rabbit.
Oh, I missed the bunny sneeze?
Beck, we're doing it. We're..
Come on, now, this is a chance
to to really enjoy ourselves.
- Let's take advantage of it.
- You're right. You're right.
[baby cooing]
Alright, girls. Diaper alert.
We've a little problem
here, so, let's settle
this the mature, adult way.
Rock, scissors, paper.
(in unison)
One, two, three.
(both)
Scissors cut paper.
Joey, you lose. You have
to change Nicky's diaper.
- Have fun.
- Come on, girls.
Hey, come on.
Give me a break here. Okay?
Okay.
[imitating Popeye]
Alright, let's see
what you got here, Sweet Pea.
Whoa! Gosh,
nothing sweet about this.
Should change me name
to Poopeye, that's for sure.
Oh, gosh. Okay, let's get
you cleaned up, here.
[baby cooing]
Yeah, I volunteered to do this
'out of
the goodness of my heart'
so let's have a nice "Thank you"
for your Uncle Joey.
[imitating Popeye]
Whoa! Blow me down!
Good gosh, you
missed me, you little squirt.
Oh, goodness...well
At least,
your mom and dad get to enjoy
a nice romantic dinner
to themselves.
[Jesse sighs]
[instrumental music]
I'm very excited you agreed
to come with me here, Vicky.
This is going to be
a lot of fun.
Well, welcome to Chez Lyon.
The hippest bistro in town.
The prices are high,
the portions are small
and the waiters are snooty.
- You're gonna love it.
- Uh, I can't wait.
I hope the chairs are hard.
[both laugh]
Oh, thank you
very much. This way.
We did it!
I've never been that quiet
in my whole life.
Me, neither.
(both)
Aah!
Much better. Let's go eat.
Sir, your table is ready.
Thank you, um,
could the lady and I
have a nice booth
instead, perhaps?
A booth?
I'm afraid not.
Right this way.
[instrumental music]
This is a grown-up restaurant.
Let's act like grown-ups.
This way, my dear.
- Good evening.
- Thank you.
- Good evening.
- Hello.
Ah, they have the most
delightful pate here.
You're going to enjoy this.
Would you please tell Frederick
bonjour from Danny Tanner?
Frederick quit
a year and a half ago.
Oh. Um, did he leave any pate?
So, Danny, do you
come here often?
- Very funny.
- 'Hm.'
So, uh, what would
you like to talk about?
Politics?
Russian literature?
Alright.
Uh, which Karamazov brother
did you find most compelling?
Oh, I don't know.
Uh, Hoss. Little Joe.
Right this way.
Okay, we can go in now.
There's my daddy.
Let's go surprise him.
But there's no chairs for us.
Here's a bigger table.
[music continues]
Daddy.
Excuse me.
Who are you here with?
My daddy. He's on a date.
Oh, so that will be four.
I'll start with the happy meal.
I'll have what she's having,
but hold the pickle.
[instrumental music]
Whoa, baby!
There's a happy meal.
Grab a fork!
Daddy's missing all the fun.
Daddy!
Uh, Danny, there's
a young lady waving at you.
Oh, yeah. I know.
It's all part of the price I pay
for being
"Bachelor of the Month."
Well, I don't want
to make you jealous
so I'm not even gonna look.
No, really.
You-you ought to look.
Daddy, you got
to try the happy meal.
My God! It's my daughter!
Michelle, how did you get here?
In your car. We were
hiding in the back seat.
If we're in trouble,
it was her idea.
Well, you're both definitely in
trouble. Please, into the booth.
- Both of you.
- Is everything alright?
No, my daughter and her friend
stowed away in my car.
Michelle..
...why did you do that?
'Cause I never see you anymore.
Is that because you're
the "Spatula of the Month?"
Eat your dessert, Teddy.
Michelle, how could you say
you never see me anymore?
I see you every morning.
And I told you
a bedtime story tonight.
Before dinner doesn't count.
You don't tuck me in anymore.
Sweetheart, if I'm not able
to tuck you in for some reason
there's always someone else
there to tuck you in.
It's not the same.
You do the best tugboat.
Actually, she has a point there.
I-I do one heck
of a "toot toot."
But that doesn't excuse you
from leaving the house
and sneaking into my car.
Am I in big trouble?
[sighs]
Well...actually,
it's not all your fault.
I should've talked to you
about this whole dating thing
before I started
going out every night.
I know how important
it is to you I tuck you in.
It's important to me, too.
I love our special
times together.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you and I
make a special date
tomorrow night at your bedtime
for me to tuck you in?
What do you say,
is it a date?
It's a date.
I love you, honey.
I love you, daddy.
Aw.
Danny, since we're all here
why don't we make
this a double date?
Okay, well, if you'll excuse me
I'll call home and tell them
that the kids are okay.
[Vicky chuckles]
Wonder how much
he tipped for that booth?
[laughs]
Excuse me.
Here we go.
This is okay
with your daddy, right?
Right.
[laughs]
I had a great time, Michelle.
I hope
we double-date again soon.
Tomorrow's good for me.
Honey, why don't we go over
your social calendar
when I come up
to tuck you in, okay?
I'll be waiting
with the tugboat book.
"Toot toot!"
He's still got it.
Look, Vicky,
uh...I'm sorry.
This wasn't the scintillating
evening I was hoping for.
Actually, it was fun.
I hope you don't mind
if I tell our viewers
you're a terrific dad.
Thanks.
Look, uh, I got
a little carried away
with all those women suddenly
wanting to go out with me.
Truth is, I'm not really
a super stud bachelor.
Somehow I knew that.
You know. I'm just looking
for somebody special.
Yeah, I know what you mean, I'm
going through the same thing.
Really?
Yeah.
Well.
- Goodnight.
Oooohhhh.
I'll be right up, honey.
"Toot toot!"
Well, I'll see you
at work tomorrow.
Okay.
- Goodnight.
- Night.
[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
[music continues]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪