Guess what time it is?
4:30?
Nope. It's time
for "The Michelle Show."
♪ Da da da da da ♪
♪ Michelle ♪♪
It's not that I don't love
seeing "The Michelle Show"
over and over, but I've
to do "The Homework Show."
My first guest is Yogi Bear.
[imitating Yogi]
I'm smarter than
the average bear.
Terrific show.
One of your best.
And now here's DJ.
Michelle, I don't
do impressions.
I said
now here's DJ.
Hello, I'm George Washington.
I was your very first president.
How's it going?
Wow, you sound just like him.
Amazing, isn't it?
And that's our show.
♪ Da da da da da ♪
♪ Michelle ♪♪
[theme music]
♪ What ever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's ♪
♪ Confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
that knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪♪
[upbeat music]
[drumbeats]
Here's Uncle Jesse.
We've been looking
for you everywhere.
Why?
'Cause that's how you find
somebody, silly.
Alright, look, you're my
little munchkin, but I got
a lot of work to do,
so go hit the yellow brick road.
[drumbeats]
Hey, where'd
that drum come from?
It's inside this machine.
Get out of here.
You get out of here.
I got a whole band right here.
Watch. I'll show you guys
how I construct a song, okay?
First we start
with the drums like this.
[drumbeats]
Add bass.
[bass music]
Guitar.
[guitar music]
Little horns...and Elvis.
[recording of Elvis]
'Thank you very much.'
We got to play with that.
Freeze!
Stick your hands
where I can see 'em.
Stick your hands down.
Okay, now let me tell
you guys something.
This is not a toy store.
Alright?
This is very expensive equipment
that I'm still
makin' payments on.
So, under no circumstances,
are you to touch
anything in this
whole entire studio.
My feet are touching the floor.
- She's got you there.
- 'Hmm.'
You guys run along and
I-I'm gonna get back to my work.
But Saturday you
should be playing.
Get some fresh air.
I'd love to put
on my play clothes
and hit the sandbox
with you bozos
but the good Uncle Jesse
keeps sayin'
be responsible, finish your work
then go out and enjoy
some well-earned relaxation.
The good Uncle Jesse is a nerd.
He's just doing his job.
Otherwise I'd be listenin'
to the bad Uncle Jesse
who says, "Oh, work is
for chumps, go out and party.
You're having a good hair day?
Go share it with the world."
The bad Uncle Jesse sounds cool.
One thing to be cool,
it's another thing to know
right from wrong, okay?
I'm gonna sit here,
I'm gonna finish my work.
Starting tomorrow.
Who wants ice-cream?
- Me!
Go, go!
Timmy Finnelli is twice
as cute as Jimmy Finnelli.
Nuh-uh. Jimmy Finnelli is ten
times cuter than Timmy Finnelli.
- No way.
- Yes.
What are you guys arguing about?
They're identical twins.
Jimmy's two minutes older.
He's much more mature.
That is the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.
Let me get this straight.
You are calling me dumb?
Gibbler, you're so dumb
you don't know
how dumb you are.
I know how dumb I am.
You're the one who's dumb.
Capital D-U-M, dumb!
Kimmy, there's a "B."
Where? I hate those things.
I think we have a winner.
Deej, how can you be
friends with this?
Hey, she picked me.
She got stuck with you.
Please. You guys have been
arguing the whole way home.
Not all the way.
Only since Lake Street.
It wasn't Lake Street,
it was Chestnut.
- No, it wasn't. I was a Lake.
- Yes, it was a Chestnut.
I can't believe this!
You guys are arguing about
where you started arguing.
Now, you're gonna shake
hands and be friends.
Alright, kid, put her there.
Ah, got you, shrimp boat.
Stuff it, bird legs.
That's it.
Look, you're my sister
and you're my best friend.
Now, we are not
leaving until you guys
start acting nice
to each other.
Fine.
What are you doing?
I'm ordering pizza.
This could take months.
- Years.
- Centuries.
- Infinity.
- Double infinity.
- Triple infinity.
- Quadruple.
♪ Oh ♪
♪ What a beautiful ♪
♪ Morning ♪
♪ Oh what a beautiful♪
♪ Aay ♪♪
[doorbell rings]
There she is. Wendy and
I are going bike riding.
Joey, ever since my sister
moved back to San Francisco
you've been walking around
the house singing show tunes.
That is just not true.
♪ Seventy six trombones ♪
♪ Led the big parade ♪♪
Joey, I hope you know what
you're getting yourself into.
I mean, my sister
is a pretty serious athlete.
You're not exactly in tip-top
physical condition, you know.
Hey, Wendy happens to
like me for who I am.
I don't have to do anything
special to try and impress her.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Hi, Danny.
[grunting]
180.
181.
182. Ahh...yep.
- Hi, Wendy.
- Hi, Joey.
Just doing my little
morning pump-up.
Today I'm working on..
...abs, pecks, and, um..
...lobes.
Lobes?
You working out your ears?
Yep.
Feel the definition
in these babies.
Ooh, I love a man
with ears of steel.
Yeah and his brain is one
big ball of aluminum foil.
Alright.
Let's throw those bikes on
your rack and head on out.
I don't have a bike rack.
I don't even have a car.
Well, trail's 20 miles away.
How the heck are we
gonna get there?
- Ride our bikes.
- Oh, sure.
Yeah, the, uh, the 20-mile ride
there will be a nice warm-up
and the 20-mile ride back
will be a nice little cool down.
Especially for a guy
who can do a 180 pushups
without breaking a sweat.
You're absolutely right.
I am in tip-top
riding condition.
Yes, siree.
I just hope
the old bike can take it.
That's your bike?
Oh, yeah, a lot of
the top riders are going back
to the banana seat.
Hello? Anybody here?
This looks like big fun.
Uh uh uh.
Michelle Elizabeth Tanner
I am shocked!
So am I. Who are you?
I'm the Good Michelle.
I tell you
the right thing to do.
Don't listen to that wimp.
Uh-oh. You must be
the Bad Michelle.
Duh.
Don't listen to her.
Stick a sock in it, goody pants.
You got a bad attitude.
Thanks.
Now go on, break
the stupid rules.
But I'll get in trouble.
Not if you don't get caught.
Good girls always
follow the rules.
What do I do?
What are you, a chicken?
[imitating chicken]
Bawk bawk bawk bawk!
Bawk! Bawk!
Be good.
Be good. Be good.
Party! Party! Party!
- Be good! Be good!
- Party! Party!
- Be good! Be good!
- Party! Party!
Enough! It's party time!
[drumbeats music]
Alright, you're
bad to the bones.
Where did I go wrong?
(Jesse)
'Michelle!'
What are you doing?
Come here.
Didn't I just tell you
not to touch my stuff?
(Danny)
'Jess.'
Don't tell dad.
You'll get me in trouble.
Hey, is everything
okay down here?
Everything is super.
No, everything is not super.
She's down here playin'
around my stuff
after I specifically
told her not to.
Really?
Did you do that, Michelle?
I was just having fun.
Well, your fun is over now.
For the rest of the day, you're
gonna be in your room and no TV.
Can I rent a video tape?
No tapes, no cable.
No pay-per-view.
- You've got to be kidding.
- No, I'm not.
You break the rules,
you're gonna be punished.
Thanks a lot, Uncle Tattletale.
I am not a tattletale.
Danny, she just called me..
Alright, so I'm a tattletale.
But-but-but it's not my fault.
Because you were messing
around with my stuff.
I thought I was
your little munchkin
but I was wrong.
Oh, okay, Michelle,
that's enough.
Now come with me
up to your room.
I hope you're happy.
I've still got you, Comet.
(Danny)
'Comet, time for your walk!'
I'm totally bummed.
I hope you learned your lesson.
Hey, princess, go kiss a frog.
You got me in trouble.
That wasn't me.
That was Uncle Tattletale.
He is a blabbermouth.
Want to make him very sorry?
You should mind
your own business.
Now, now, be polite.
How do I make him sorry?
You run away from home!
[gasps]
Uncle Jesse will never
squeal on you again.
Sounds good to me.
I'm out of here.
(Good Michelle)
'Michelle, be a good girl.'
(Bad Michelle)
'Don't listen to her.
Pack that suitcase.'
Don't do this.
This is a big, big mistake.
Get a life.
♪ Na na na na na ♪
[claps]
Ooh! Alright!
[doorbell rings]
Get the door, Teddy.
Who is it?
(Michelle)
'Michelle Tanner.'
Hi, Michelle.
Hi, Teddy,
could I live with you?
Sure. Come on in.
Guess what?
Michelle's gonna live with us.
Does your dad
know you're here?
No. When you run away,
you don't tell.
Why did you run away,
sweetheart?
To teach
Uncle Tattletale a lesson.
She's really cute.
Can we keep her?
I'm a fun girl.
Well, until we get
this straightened out
you're welcome to stay here.
- Yeah.
- Thanks, new dad.
Alright, this
is a big moment, Beck.
It's our son's first
attempt at solid food
and here's a shot
of the proud father watching.
Honey, why don't we get
some video of the baby?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, we should get the kid too.
Alright, here we go.
Okay.
We're going to start
with the strained bananas.
And action!
- 'Alright.'
- Okay.
She's grabbing the spoon.
Spoon's in the strained bananas.
'Strained bananas
are going into the mouth'
a-a-and
here's another shot of
the proud father watching.
- Jess.
- Sorry. Back to the baby.
Open wide.
Here we go.
Strained bananas in..
...and, whoa
strained bananas out.
Alright, here's the proud
father encouraging his son.
Come on, son, you can do it.
Do it for dad. Do it for dad.
Sorry.
Back to the baby.
Okay, take two.
And strained bananas in..
..and it's a keeper!
Alright.
Way to go, Nick.
Hey, have you guys seen
Michelle? She's not in her room.
What do you mean, she's not
in her room? She's grounded.
Yeah, I checked the whole house,
I don't know where she is.
She's gotta be
around here somewhere.
- I'll check the front.
- I'll check the back yard.
- 'Michelle?'
- Michelle?
[telephone ringing]
Hello?
Oh, thank God.
Yeah. Okay.
Well, we'll be right over.
Thanks, Henry.
Well?
Michelle went down
the street to Teddy's house.
She ran away from home.
- What?
Why would she do that?
Well, she was mad at me.
She called me
Uncle Tattletale.
Well, I'm gonna see to it
she never runs away again.
What are you gonna do?
First I'm gonna hug her,
then I'm gonna kiss her
then I'm gonna ground
her for life.
Oh, ho-ho-hold it, tall man.
- I got a better idea.
- What?
Let's do what my dad
did to me when I ran away.
I guarantee she'll
never do it again.
Come here.
You sit here.
Why do we have to do this?
Yeah, it's never gonna work.
Sure it is. I saw it on TV.
Little sisters and best friends
who hate each other
on the next "Geraldo."
Give me a break.
Look, the idea is
you guys can learn to be friends
if you find things
that you have in common.
Now, each time you agree,
you move your chairs closer.
When you disagree,
move them apart.
Understand?
We're not idiots.
Speak for yourself.
Okay, what's your favorite book?
"Charlotte's Web".
"How to pick up boys."
There you go.
You both read a book.
Actually, I never read it.
It's a book on tape.
Moving right along.
What's your favorite food?
Pizza.
There you go, Kimmy.
You love pizza.
Not as much as I love trout.
Deej, this is so stupid.
It sure is.
There you go.
You guys both agree it's stupid.
Move your chairs closer.
Now, come on,
let's keep going.
I don't want to keep going.
You're always telling
me what to do.
Yeah. She's so bossy.
I'm sick of it.
We agree again.
And DJ's always late.
Oh, I know.
The hairspray queen.
She has to look
perfect at all times.
I know what you mean.
Do you know she's never
complimented my hair?
Me, neither.
I think you've got the idea.
I've tried to tell
her to chill out
but when she's on one of
her power trips, forget it.
And did you ever
watch TV with her?
I know, she never
lets go of the remote.
Now that we're all friends,
why don't we change the subject?
Oh, and sharing
a bathroom with her.
Hey, you might as well just
go down to the Texaco station.
I could go on for hours.
- Do you like frozen yogurt?
- Love it.
- Strawberry?
- My favorite.
- Let's go.
- Yeah.
Girls, wait.
I like frozen yogurt too.
Pick a card. Any card.
Aw, man!
I got the old maid again.
Don't play this for money.
Teddy, where am I
going to sleep tonight?
We're out of beds.
You can sleep in
the kitchen with Sparky.
I used to have a dog.
Those were the days.
[doorbell rings]
Michelle, I think
that's your family.
I bet they're coming
to say they're sorry.
Hi, Danny, hi, Jess.
Hi! Where's my little girl?
Oh, she's right here
in the living room.
Alright, Danny, be strong.
Remember the plan.
Hello, boys. Do you have
something to say to me?
Yes, Michelle, we, uh..
we feel very bad
that you left home.
I knew it. Keep going.
Well, uh..
...we miss you
very much, munchkin.
And you'll never be
Uncle Tattletale again?
Well, I don't know how I can.
You don't live with us anymore.
I don't?
No, remember, uh..
you said you
didn't like our rules?
So, you wanna live here.
That's cool.
We brought you extra clothes,
your toothbrush
and everything you need,
right here in this suitcase.
What is this, a joke?
Oh, no, no.
It's not a joke, Michelle.
There's nothing funny
about running away from home.
- Bye-bye.
- See you, kid.
If you need us, you know
the number, just give us a buzz.
Bye, sweetheart.
Wait, you forgot something.
What? What did we forget?
Me.
Really?
You mean, you wanna come
back and live with us?
Even with Uncle Tattletale?
Yes. I want to go home.
Oh!
Yeah!
And we want you to come home.
Yeah. We missed you.
Michelle, don't you
ever do this again.
You had us worried sick.
Yeah, that wasn't
very smart, young lady.
You're telling me? I was
going to sleep with the dog.
You'll sleep
in your own bed.
My room! My bed!
My pig!
I love this place.
Alright. Come on, Michelle.
It's time for one
of our little talks.
Now, what you did
today was very wrong.
I know. I should
never touch your stuff.
Well, that's right, but I'm
talking about running away.
That was very dangerous.
Now, you're never to leave this
house without our permission.
If you have a problem,
you come talk to me
or someone else
in this house. Kapish?
- Cupsheesh.
- Alright.
Now, level with me.
Why did you really run away?
I was mad at you because
you got me in trouble.
Well, I felt terrible
about gettin' you in trouble
but I couldn't let you get away
with the breaking rules.
Because if you did it today,
you'd do it all the time.
And that's not cool.
Am I still your little munchkin?
I'll tell you what.
You can still be
my little munchkin
if you stop calling
me Uncle Tattletale.
Okay, Uncle Jesse.
Alright. You're never
gonna run away again?
Never, ever, ever, ever.
Alright.
Let's shake on it. Ready?
[laughing]
- I love you, munchkin.
- I know.
[laughing]
I love you, Uncle Jesse.
I know.
I'll see you
at dinner, kid.
Uncle Jesse, were you really
going to leave me at Teddy's?
What do you think?
That was very sneaky.
Ha ha ha.
I got another good idea.
I don't wanna hear it.
Let's sneak out
and watch show "MTV Raps."
I want you out of here.
[blowing raspberry]
I like the way she dresses.
- Michelle, I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
And remember,
always do the right thing.
Oh, I will.
She can get on my nerves.
[theme music]