Alright, guys,
let's get your hands in there
while the plaster's still wet.
Ready? Go!
Okay, good.
Squish 'em in there
nice and good.
That's good.
Okay, guys,
how does that feel?
- Icky!
Alright, good.
Then it worked.
Here we go,
now what we're gonna do is
we're gonna let these
hand prints dry
we're gonna cut them
into a nice heart shape
and then we're gonna watch
mommy's face light up
when we give 'em to her
on Mother's Day.
This is gonna be the best
Mother's Day present ever!
Hey, plaster paws.
No offense,
but I really don't think
Becky wants your hand prints.
These are for my mom.
Alright, boys.
Your hands
are all de-ickyfied.
Now, you guys excited
about Mother's Day?
- Yes!
You even know
what Mother's Day is?
- No!
Okay, guys,
Mother's day is the day
where we show mommy
how much we love her, okay?
'Now, we're gonna get up
real early'
we're gonna make her
a great breakfast.
We're gonna give her
our special presents
and we're gonna sing her a song.
You guys, uh, you guys wanna
sing her a song?
- Yes!
Do you even know a song?
- No!
I figured.
Alright, guys, come on,
we got a lot of work to do.
Let's go. Come on.
[telephone rings]
Oh, Joey, can you get that?
Yeah. No problem.
Problem! Problem!
Oh, boy.
[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Aahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Oh, magic cue ball
when I grow up,
will I be president?
Huh.
Governor?
Milk monitor?
Alright!
Michelle, you can't
really believe
that hunk of plastic
can tell the future.
Oh, yes, I can.
This morning, I asked it
if I was going to wear
a pink-flowered dress
and what am I wearing?
Michelle, you decided
to wear that dress.
I'm sorry, honey,
but the magic cue ball
had nothing to do with it.
But I don't like this dress.
I was hoping for a no.
And after the movie,
Jamie's taking me
to the drive-through
at the burger shack.
Well, he's not driving,
His mother's driving.
But we have the whole back seat
so it's almost like
we have complete privacy.
Well, that's great, Steph.
It's kinda like your own
little love nest
18 inches from the back
of his mom's neck.
Yeah.
Boy, D.J., this is weird.
Usually it's you
going on a date
and Steph staying home.
Well, Michelle,
I'm here by choice.
You know, ever since
I broke up with Steve
I just haven't felt
ready to date.
Deej, you're not
going to believe this.
Steve has a date
with Ada Cooling.
Now, I'm ready to date.
Uh, Jamie's cousin's in
from college next week.
Really?
What does he look like?
Well, I've only seen
a picture, but he's cute.
Cute is good.
Then again, everybody's cute
sitting on Santa's lap.
[horn honking]
Oh, that's Jamie.
His mom lets him honk.
So, you want to go
out with his cousin?
Sure, um..
...you can give him
my phone number
but don't make me
sound too desperate.
Hmm.
That was my main selling point.
- 'Bye, honey.'
- See you guys later.
- Bye.
- Have fun.
Hm, well, Deej.
I have a date myself
and just need a few things
to finish off this outfit.
Lighter fluid and a zippo?
Wait up.
You know, it's nice to see D.J.
back in the swing of things.
Yes, it is.
It would also be nice
to see you
back in the swing
of things, too.
It's Saturday night.
You have any plans?
Oh, yeah. I got big plans.
I'm gonna take a nap..
...get myself good
and groggy for bedtime.
Danny..
...I think this is a good time
to bring up
the name...Leona Stickle.
Leona Stickle?
From the station?
Becky, she's a kid.
She's 25, and she can't take
her eyes off you.
She's a cameraperson.
It's her job.
I don't see
the other camera people
lookin' at you like that.
You mean Gus, Phil, and Tony?
Danny, it's time
you blew the dust
off the old bottle of brut
and made yourself
a love connection.
[chuckles]
Okay.
I'll give Leona a call.
I got nothing to lose
but 23 hours of sleep.
Aw, welcome back.
Okay, boys, boys,
pay close attention here
because I'm about to teach you
this very wonderful
Mother's Day song, okay?
Okey-dokey.
Okay, very good, now,
I'm gonna sing my part
and Joey's gonna sing your part,
right, Joseph?
[high-pitched voice]
Okey-dokey.
Okay, here we go, okay.
You guys ready? Here we go.
♪ What day is today ♪
And this will be your part.
♪ Today is Mother's Day ♪
♪ What day is today ♪
Your part again.
♪ Today is Mother's Day ♪
- Thank you, Joseph.
- You're welcome, Jesse.
[laughing]
Sunday's gonna be the greatest
Mother's Day ever, you know why?
'Cause you guys
are finally old enough
to do something
really special for mommy.
Alright, now, this is how
the schedule goes.
We're gonna wake up
in the morning
we're gonna make her
a special breakfast, okay?
We're gonna give her
our new gifts
then we're gonna sing
this great song.
And, trust me, guys,
she's going to melt
into a big puddle of mommy.
Alright? Now, come on.
Let's try the song. Here we go.
♪ What day is today ♪
I don't know.
Well, it's, uh,
it's Mother's Day.
Happy Mother's Day.
No, guys. Today isn't
Mother's Day per se.
It-it's more..
It's Sunday.
Okay, now, come on, guys,
this is for mommy
so l-let's get it perfect, okay?
Here we go. Take two.
♪ What day is today ♪♪
Can't do it.
- Why not?
- Mommy's not here.
Yes, guys, I-I realize
that mommy's not here.
Please, kids,
let's concentrate.
Now, we gotta make this
thing perfect for mommy.
This is very important.
Let's try it from the top.
- You ready?
- No.
Hey-hey, get back,
come on, guys.
We have to learn
this song for mommy.
Oh, magic cue ball
will D.J's date
tonight be cute?
Michelle, cute isn't everything.
It's more about his sense
of humor, his personality.
Okay.
Oh, magic cue ball
will D.J's date tonight
have a good personality?
You better hope he's cute.
Well, what do you think?
Do I look ready
for my big date or what?
I even, uh, I even
high-buffed the shoes.
Wow, dad, you look great.
And cool socks.
Where'd you get 'em?
Oh, thanks. Th-these socks?
I got 'em, uh..
Oh, my God.
Vicky gave me these socks.
I-I..
What if Leona asks me
where I got them?
I..
...I can't talk
about one woman's socks
on a date with another woman.
Trust me, dad, if you're talking
about your socks
date's already dead
in the water.
Now, you know what, I think
I'm gonna go for that
that hip, sockless,
European look.
Of course, at the end
of the night
I'm gonna have
to burn these shoes.
[doorbell rings]
I'll get it.
Don't worry, dad,
I asked the magic cue ball
if you guys were gonna have
fun time tonight
and it said
it's absolutely certain.
Thanks, sweetie,
but I think the only thing
that's absolutely certain is..
...I should've shaved my ankles.
- Hi.
I'm Roger. You D.J.?
- I certainly hope so.
- Oh.
I mean yes.
Come on in.
Um, Roger...this is everybody.
- Hi.
- 'Hi.'
Wow. You've really grown
since Christmas '78.
Excuse me.
I'm, uh, I'm sorry, I'm, uh..
- I'm D.J's dad.
- How you doing?
Good, I-I couldn't help
but notice
you've got
a fine mustache there.
Oh, thanks.
You ought to see it
in natural light.
Just out of, uh,
parental curiosity
um, h-how old are you?
- I'm 20.
- 20?
Big 2-0.
No longer a teen
but...dating one.
[chuckles]
Dad, you're embarrassing me.
I'm embarrassing you?
Did you see his mustache?
I can't even grow
a mustache like that.
Dad, I'm 17. He's 20.
There's only
three years difference.
Only three years?
That's an entire lifetime
for a goldfish.
I'll be fine.
- Roger, we better get going.
- Right.
Well, goodnight, Mr. Tanner.
Good..
Sorry.
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chattering]
So I started off
with a full beard
well, then trimmed it
down to a goatee.
But, yeah,
that didn't work out
so I lost the beard
and grew the mustache back
which is the look
you're enjoying today.
Yeah. It really brings
out your...nostrils.
[chuckles]
Oh, look-look at this,
Mr. and Mrs. Bush.
They recommend
the Michael Dukakis Burger.
[laughing]
That-that's my daughter D.J.
Hey, Deej.
- Dad.
- Hey.
What are you guys doing here?
What happened to that
fancy French restaurant
you were going to?
Well, we-we were gonna go there
but we decided
it was, you know, too '90s.
Oh, D.J., Roger,
this is Leona.
- Hi.
- How do you do?
Great mustache.
Well, thank you.
It started off
as a full beard.
Really?
[scoffs]
You know, it's a long story.
It was nice chatting with you.
Hey, why don't you join us?
- No, we'd really--
- Oh, love to.
We'd really love to.
- D.J.?
- Arthur?
I thought I recognized
the back of your head.
Arthur sits behind me
in biology.
Well, uh, I'll see you around.
Or from behind
...or whatever.
Ah-heh.
So.
Uh...where were we?
Leona, your eyes.
What would you call them..
...green?
Well, I call the left one green.
I call the right one tiger.
[roaring]
[laughing]
Say, Leona,
what do you say
we take a little walk
over to the, uh, lobster tank?
Oh, I would love that..
...Rog.
Those two..
...they're not coming back,
are they?
Excuse me, Arthur?
Where's your lobster tank?
We don't have one.
No, dad, they're not
coming back.
Wasn't there a foursome here?
Actually, it started off
as a twosome.
Then became a foursome.
But went back to a twosome.
A different twosome.
A depressed twosome.
Just think.
If I hadn't asked,
I wouldn't have known.
Man, this dating thing
is tougher than I thought.
And getting tougher
all the time.
Hi, guys.
- Hi.
- Hi, Steve.
So...isn't this a great place
to bring a date...or a parent?
Right, well, anyway,
this is Ada Cooling.
Ada, this is Mr. Tanner,
and this is D.J.
D.J?
What a coincidence!
Steve, you used to date a D.J.
Y-yeah.
Oh, Steve, there's Pac-Man.
I have his autograph at home.
Oh, that-that's wonderful, Ada.
Well, why don't we go see
if he remembers you?
- Bye.
- See you later, Deej.
That was fixed up.
[sighs]
What a night.
Yeah. I- I've had better..
Like every one before this.
Hey, D.J.
Hey, Arthur.
Um, my shift is over
and I'm going
to Samantha's party.
If you're going,
I can give you a lift.
Oh, no, I think I'm just
gonna hang out here
with my friend...dad.
No, you know what.
Don't worry about me.
I-I assume you have
a license, insurance
and you-you've passed
an approved driver's ed course?
Yeah.
You know, what,
then go. Go. Have fun.
You're young,
get out of here
before life passes you by and..
[sighs]
You wind up sitting alone
in a trendy restaurant
with hairy ankles
and socks in your pocket.
Are you sure you don't mind?
I'll be fine. Have fun.
Thanks, dad.
You're the best.
I am, aren't I?
Bye.
- Bye, Mr. Tanner.
- Bye.
Loneliness.
Thy name is Danny.
Have you seen the busboy?
Yeah, he just left
with my daughter.
Would you feel the grease
on this table?
You could fry an egg on it.
Really?
Can I-can I help you?
Oh, please.
Great. Excuse me.
My mom used to have
a little-little cleaning rhyme.
She said when you've
cleaned your place
you can see your face.
There I am.
Enjoy.
Oh, thank you.
That's very sweet.
You don't see that combination
of chivalry
and compulsiveness anymore.
At least I got that
going for me.
Sit.
Yes, ma'am.
Are we feeling
a little sorry for our self?
Yes, we are.
My-my little daughter's
magic cue ball
said that tonight
was going to be a fun night.
I mean, I know
it's just a silly little toy
but I was kind of hoping
it would be right.
Well, you never know
what's around the corner.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, mom.
Hi.
Sorry, I'm late.
This is..
Oh, sorry,
I didn't catch your name.
Mom, that's Danny Tanner.
He's the star of
"Wake Up, San Francisco."
I know this is gonna sound silly
but I've had a crush on you
for the longest time.
- Hello, darling.
- Oh.
- Jess.
- Yes.
Let's not do anything,
the boys won't let us finish.
The boys are downstairs
with Joey
and I'm just getting started.
[chuckles]
- Mama! Mama!
'Mama!'
Now I'm finished.
'Mommy, mommy.'
(both)
Happy Mother's Day.
- Oh.
- Guys, guys, guys.
Mother's Day's not
till tomorrow.
- What are you doing?
- I love mama tonight.
Oh.
Give me a hug. I love you.
Joey, what are you doing?
I thought
you were gonna occupy
the kids downstairs,
we had a plan.
Well, the boys
had a better one.
Biting my ankles
until I gave in.
Oh, honey, it's okay.
- Look. They brought us a snack.
- Mm-hm.
It's breakfast, mama.
Yeah, Beck, the boys whipped
a little, uh..
Donut, candy, guacamole
buffet together.
Of course, I added the Doritos
for fiber content.
Beck, we had this whole
great morning planned out.
We were gonna make
you this breakfast
with this-this
heart-shaped omelet
with-with a parsley arrow
going through it.
Guys, listen,
take Joey downstairs occupy him.
We're gonna do this whole thing
right tomorrow morning.
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh, thank you.
Let me see what you..
Ohh.
- Ohh.
- Turn in that ways.
Let me see.
Oh, thank..
Oh, Jess.
These little hand prints
are adorable.
'Guys, not the presents.'
We were supposed
to wrap 'em up nice.
We had this special
Mother's Day wrapping.
When am I gonna use
that again this year?
Time to sing the song.
Oh, Jess,
they're gonna sing me a song.
No, they're not.
I draw the line at the song.
Guys, we have to save
something for tomorrow.
- Sing it now!
Sing it now!
(in unison)
Sing it now!
Joey!
I happen to like the song.
Oh, come on.
Jess, let's hear the song.
Oh, Alright. Alright.
Everyone sit down.
♪ What day is today ♪
♪ Although it's
actually tomorrow ♪
♪ Today is Mother's Day ♪
♪ What day is today ♪
♪ You rug rats couldn't wait
another 12 hours ♪
♪ Today is Mother's Day ♪♪
There. Okay, is everyone happy?
Mother's Day is ruined.
Beck, I-I just-I just wanted
the whole day
to be perfect, and now, eh.
Honey, it is perfect.
I mean who cares
if the presents aren't wrapped
or if I'm eating a Dorito
breakfast at 8 o'clock at night.
I mean, the point
of Mother's Day
is to show your mom
how much you love her
and...right now
I feel pretty loved.
And I love that you guys
did this all by yourselves.
- 'Yeah.'
- Come here and give me a hug.
Yeah.
Oh, I love you.
- Oh, I..
- Yeah..
You know, Beck,
I-I helped out quite a bit.
I mean when those kids
came to me
they-they didn't even know
that song.
I know, I know.
Okay, boys, boys, come here.
I gotta tell you something.
I'm sorry I pushed you guys.
I was just trying
to make it perfect.
Thank you, my baby,
baby, thank you.
Now, you guys had
the right idea.
After all,
she is your mommy, right?
Aw, Jess. Let's face it.
We have the greatest kids
in the world.
[whimpering]
All three of them.
Come on over here, you big kid.
Come on, Joey.
Wait for it.
Now!
D.J., how do you breathe?
Arthur, I'd like you
to meet my sisters.
Hi, how're you doing?
- Hi.
- Hello.
But, uh, don't get too attached.
They might not be living
much longer.
So, uh, I guess I'll see you
in biology on Monday?
Great, and I think I'll be
turning around a lot more.
Bye.
Goodnight, Arthur.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong
but wasn't Roger taller, broader
and not named Arthur?
It's a long story.
Where's dad?
He's not home yet.
He's not?
I left him hours ago.
He could be walking the streets,
miserable and alone.
♪ Hello my darling daughters ♪♪
Ho!
Boy, I've never
seen him so depressed.
Dad, what happened?
Are you okay?
T-this has been
an amazing night.
I-I was sitting there
all depressed
and alone in the restaurant
saying to myself
over and over again
"I will not cry.
I will not cry."
And all of a sudden,
this-this really sweet
older lady asked me to help
get some grease off her table.
Of course,
I came to the rescue.
Next thing I know,
I'm rollerblading
through Golden Gate Park
with her beautiful daughter.
Wow, yeah. I had a really
great time tonight, too.
I guess we're back
in circulation.
- Groovy, man.
- Hey, solid.
[chuckles]
I'm never wearing
socks again.
Now, Deej, wait.
How did Roger turn into Arthur?
And what happened to Leona?
Why am I so out of the loop?
[sighs]
See, the magic cue ball said
you guys were gonna
have a fun night.
Michelle, D.J. and I didn't
have a fun night
just because the magic cue ball
said we would.
We had a good time
because we decided
to stop feeling sorry
for ourselves
and you know, just go out and
take fate into our own hands.
Does that make any sense?
If you say so.
- Goodnight, sweetie.
- Goodnight, daddy.
Get in bed. I'll be right up.
Alright.
It's just you and me.
Okay, if I take Bernadette
out rollerblading
on our second date..
Am I gonna stay
on my feet this time?
I saw that, daddy.
Sweetheart,
I was just-I was just
I'm just buffing up
the old magic cue ball.
Yeah, right.
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
[theme music]
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪