[instrumental music]
- Hey, morning.
- Morning.
- You girls want some cereal?
- Yeah, please.
Alright, we got your, uh,
we got your puffs.
We got your, uh, pops,
we got some sort of smacks.
We've got everything here.
It's only one thing
I want for breakfast.
Vanilla Weasels.
The most delectable cookie
ever created.
[chuckles]
[whimpering]
My weasels,
who ate my weasels?
- She did.
- I did?
- You did!
Yeah, well somebody did.
Come on, Steph,
you were eating three at a time.
How would you know?
You had your head in the tin.
What are you saying,
I have no self control?
I bet you couldn't go
one day without sweets.
Uh, I could a lot longer
than you could.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
First one to eat, lick
or even nibble a sweet
has to do the other one's
chores for an entire week.
It's a bet, Sara Lee.
You're on, Mrs. Fields.
Yeah, well, this
is all fine and good
but I still happen
to be Weasel-less.
Don't worry,
I'm taking the boys shopping.
I'll put your stupid
weasels on my list.
You can relax, sugar-gut.
Thanks, black licorice hair.
Jess, I hope this time
you will stick to that list.
Last time you went
shopping with the boys
I sent you for eggs,
you came back with slinkies.
We like shopping with daddy.
He buys us everything.
Well, the-the boys are
exaggerating a little bit.
Can we have a pony?
Only if it's on sale, son.
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Good morning.
Well, Michelle,
don't you look beautiful.
Thanks, Aunt Becky.
I'm going to work with dad
Because it's Bring
Your Daughter To Work Day.
I grew up on a farm.
Everyday was
Bring Your Daughter To Work Day.
Michelle, you should be
very excited 'cause today
you're gonna get a chance
to see what your dad
really does at
Wake Up San Francisco.
Don't you just talk
and drink coffee?
Sweetheart that's only
in front of the camera.
Behind the camera,
there is donuts.
Don't worry, honey, you're
gonna see a lot of stuff
that's gonna make
you very proud to be
the daughter
of a talk show host.
I'm already proud,
but I'll come for the donuts.
[instrumental music]
Well, that about
wraps up another show.
Join us tomorrow
for dog makeovers.
Where we are gonna make a
12-year-old schnauzer
look eight.
[laughing]
[choking]
Well, I'm Danny Tanner.
And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
- Saying, have a great day.
- Have a great day.
(Together)
I was gonna say that.
♪ Wake up ♪♪
(Danny)
That was an okay show.
And clear.
Daddy, you were so funny
you made Bernie
choke on his bear claw.
[laughs]
Well, you know, sweetie,
I-I do a lot more around here
than just make Bernie choke.
You see that? I suggested
we switch to decaf.
I also suggested
the weekly fire drills.
I even suggested
the suggestion box
which was really tough
at the time
'cause there was no place
to put that suggestion.
- You think of everything.
- Well, not really.
Actually, it was another guy
who invented television.
Well, Michelle, what'd you
learn about your dad's job?
He shouldn't talk
while Bernie's eating.
You know what, Becky I have a
great idea for next week's show.
Why don't we do a
"Welcome Back, Kotter" reunion?
Oh, you mean that-that
TV show from the 70s?
Yeah.
Well, that's a cute idea,
but I don't know
I don't think
Mr. Strowbridge would like it.
- Tanner, Donaldson.
- Mr. Strowbridge.
I've been thinking of making
some personnel changes
around here.
Donaldson, I need to speak
with you for a moment.
- Ah, sir..
- Me?
I hope you're not thinking
of getting rid of Rebecca.
Yeah, I hope not, too.
'Cause, sir, she-she's beautiful
she's witty, she's charming.
There's absolutely
no one better.
Exactly, and that's why
I'm making her the new producer
on "Wake Up San Francisco."
- Her?
- Mmm-hmm.
Mr. Strowbridge,
I don't know what to say.
This is such a surprise.
Thank you.
Her?
Now, don't worry, Tanner,
she'll still be your co-host.
Donaldson, let me show
you to your new office.
It has a lovely view
of Alcatraz.
Daddy, what does a producer do?
Well, uh, sweetie,
she, uh, she gets to make
all the important decisions.
You know, who to hire,
and who to fire.
You know the suggestion box?
She, uh,
she gets the key.
And I thought
you had a cool job.
[instrumental music]
Well, well, well,
how was school today?
Any sweet temptations?
You might say that.
Seems someone, uh, slipped
some Milk Duds in my gym sock.
Really?
Who could've done
such an under-handed,
yet brilliant thing?
Gee, I wonder.
Go ahead, count 'em.
This one appears
to have been licked.
No way. I did not
lick that thing.
- I can see teeth.
- I said that I..
This is absolutely
the last time I might
take Nicky and Alex
shopping with me.
Why? What happened?
Everything was going
along fine, no problem.
Then we hit the cookie aisle,
problem, you know.
I mean, the kids start-start
grabbing every cookie in sight.
I tell them no. They start
screaming like banshees.
And all of a sudden,
everyone's looking at me
like I'm-like I'm-like I'm
Freddie Krueger.
So did you give in?
I said no cookies,
and I meant no cookies.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
I thought I told you guys
to finish those
cookies in the yard.
Next time you pull a stunt
like this, you're gonna, uh
you're gonna share a box.
Yeah, right.
Run along. Run along.
[laughs]
The twins.
Hey.
Hey, Jess, did you get
my Vanilla Weasels?
Oh, no.
Sorry, Joey, bad news.
They don't make 'em anymore.
- What?
- Yeah, but look at this.
Hey, look at this,
I got you, uh..
Wait till you see this.
Chocolate Badgers instead, huh?
Instead?
Jess, there is no instead.
Vanilla Weasels are
more than just a cookie.
They're-they're a lifetime
of memories for me.
Well..
- You know, when I was a kid.
- Yeah.
My mom would
tuck me in bed
mm-hmm.
give me a weasel
and sing me the score
to "South Pacific."
Boy, those were some
enchanted evenings, Jess.
Yeah.
[exhales sharply]
Suddenly, it's starting
to all make sense, Joe.
Hey, everybody,
guess what?
Yeah, we know,
there's no weasels.
No, Aunt Becky is
the new producer
of "Wake Up San Francisco."
(D.J.)
'Wow. Congratulations.'
(Jesse)
'Hey, congratulations.'
I couldn't believe it
when Mr. Strowbridge told me.
I mean, Danny deserves
the job much as I do.
I don't know
why he picked me.
Oh, don't be so modest,
Miss Producer.
I think it's great.
I couldn't be happier for you.
Hey, you know what, I'm
going to take everyone out
for dinner tomorrow night.
- Great.
- Alright, sounds good.
Hey. It's a
Tanner family convention.
Aunt Becky's just
been made new producer
of "Wake Up San Francisco."
Wow! What a burn.
[sighs]
Mr. T working
for Mrs. Hairboy.
You've been doing that
show longer than she has
and they just
passed you by.
Bam! Big, tall string bean
left standing out in the dust.
Boy, this must be gnawing
at you like a starving rat
in a Cheeto factory.
Kimmy, you couldn't
be more off.
I am very
happy for Rebecca.
[chuckles]
I feel proud.
I-I feel great.
(Jesse)
'Where do you guys
want to eat tomorrow?'
Feel like a big, tall string
bean left standing in the dust.
[instrumental music]
- Hey.
- Hey, Danny, how's it going?
I couldn't be
bitter, better.
Good, well, why don't
we go over our schedule
for next week's shows?
- Okay.
Now, we have
a problem on Thursday.
Alfie,
the talking seal canceled.
- Laryngitis?
- Lettermen.
Oh, well, since Alfie's out,
why don't we go back
to my "Welcome Back, Kotter"
reunion idea?
- Oh, I don't know, Danny.
- Oh, come on.
It was your classic
All-American high school Sitcom.
Remember Horshack?
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Or Washington?
"Mr. Kottair, Mr. Kottair."
Danny, I just don't
think Strowbridge
is gonna go for the idea.
Yeah, but, Becky,
you're the producer now.
You get to make
all the decisions.
You're right.
The truth is,
I don't like the idea.
This morning
you said it was cute.
Well, this morning
I wasn't the producer.
Didn't matter
what I said.
So you were just
patronizing me?
No, no, no, no.
Of course not.
Like you're doing
right now?
Danny, don't take it
personally, okay?
This is my first
shot as producer.
I'm just trying to raise
the level of the show.
Well, excuse me if I've
been dragging it down.
Danny, why are you
acting like this?
Because you've been
shooting down all of my ideas.
I shot down
one dumb idea.
And you know what?
That was my last dumb idea.
You know,
since you've become producer
things have gotten
totally outta control.
I've been producer
for four hours.
Yeah and I've been
quiet long enough.
You haven't
been quiet since I met you.
Oh, yeah?
Well, maybe things
would get nice and quiet
if I weren't around.
What do you mean
if you weren't around?
You know, not around, not there,
absent, lack of presence.
No more Danny Tanner
to kick around anymore.
- You'd quit over Horshack?
- Oh, it's not just Horshack.
No, I'm talking Barbarino,
Epstein, all the Sweathogs.
Danny, I can't believe that you
would put me in this position.
Now, I've got a show to run.
And if you quit...I will
just have to replace you.
Well, then, I do quit.
So you just replace away.
I'll tell you something, you're
in deep water now, Miss Producer
because you'll never find
another Danny Tanner.
I am Mr. Wake Up San Francisco.
Wake up, San Francisco.
I'm Phil Blankman.
Ha-ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
Welcome to the show, Phil.
I was gonna say that.
[chuckles]
Phil, that only works
if we say that at the same time.
Right.
Well, great to be here,
Beck-arino.
Well, it's great to have
you here, Phil-arino.
And our special guest
today is Janet Reno.
Ha!
The attorney general
of the United States.
She'll be discussing her career,
the new crime bill--
And she's cooking
chowder. Ha-ha.
[chuckles]
So, uh, what do you
think of him?
Well, he's-he's-he's..
- He's perky.
- Perky.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he's perky.
Remember I only had
one day to find someone.
It was either
Laughing Phil, the weatherman
or Vampire Vic from the
"Midnight Monster" movie.
Phil's a good choice.
Yeah, and he's
easier to kill.
I'll just fast-forward
to this other part.
- Celery?
- Thanks.
[sighs]
What are you
pretending yours is?
- Snickers.
- Dove Bar.
Want to trade?
Oh, yeah.
Beck, don't you
think you and Danny
could just work things out?
Well, I'd love to,
but he's the one who quit.
I think he's just having
trouble accepting me
as an authority figure.
Yeah, but you two
belong together
you know like-like
Laurel and Hardy
like ham and eggs,
like weasels and milk.
Weasels and milk.
My weasels.
I can't believe they're gone.
I've lost the will to snack.
Hold up. Put it on pause.
Hold on, look at this.
(Jesse)
'See that?'
"Produced by Rebecca Donaldson."
I have to admit,
it does have a nice ring to it.
[sighs]
Hey, guys.
- Hi.
- 'Hi.'
What were you watching?
(in unison)
Uh..
You know, we were watching
that-that-that nutty show
"The Frugal Gourmet."
Yeah, this guy's so cheap.
You should've seen.
He was tricking a frog
into a bag of Shake 'n Bake.
Isn't this a coincidence?
Dad's here,
Aunt Becky's here.
Don't you think this
would be a good time
to try work things out?
There-there's nothing
to work out.
I couldn't be happier
with my time off.
I'm getting to do all the things
I've always wanted to do.
See, I, uh, even made
this ship in a bottle.
Actually, it's, uh, more like
a shipwreck in a bottle.
Hey, everybody,
I finished my report.
"What my daddy does."
Except now it's called
"What my daddy did."
Do you wanna hear it?
I'm sorry, but
not right now, honey.
That was the past, and I'm,
uh, looking to the future.
- What do you see?
- A new hobby.
[instrumental music]
Come on, please.
Eat your food, son.
Hey, you guys,
I just wanna say thanks.
It's been
really great celebrating
with the people I love.
Would anyone care for dessert?
Gentlemen?
I want dessert!
Double bessert!
No, no, no, no.
No, boys.
No bessert, no bessert.
Thank you, garcon.
You finish your dinner,
then you can have bessert.
- We want bessert!
- We want dessert!
- We want bessert!
- We want dessert!
- 'We want bessert!'
- 'We want dessert!'
Nicky, Alex,
behave yourselves.
(in unison)
We want bessert!
(in unison)
We want bessert!
(in unison)
We want bessert!
[chanting continues]
Everybody's staring at us.
Just give them some dessert.
What lesson would
they learn from that?
If you embarrass your
family, you get dessert.
No, no, no.
We're not going to do that.
You know what, I'm gonna
take care of this right now.
And I don't care
what people think.
Alright, okay, alright.
[screaming]
[screaming continues]
What? I'm just doing
a little parenting.
Eat your peas.
Alright, okay. Good. Good.
Here you go. Sit down there.
You guys wanna kick and scream
and have a big tantrum
go ahead, go nuts.
- Right here?
- Oh, yeah. Of course.
You can't do it in there.
That's-that's the dining room.
And here, this is,
well, this is screaming room.
Go ahead, scream.
We wanna go back in there.
Okay, fine,
but you have a choice.
You can stay out here
and have your little tantrum
or you can go back inside,
act like gentlemen
eat your meal,
have your dessert
and everything
will be cool, okay?
Go ahead, guys.
I got time.
Talk amongst yourselves.
Would anyone who's not
shrieking care for dessert?
There's only one dessert
for me, and it's extinct.
Yeah, I'll pass, too.
I got a big day tomorrow.
Gotta get that
chia pet started.
I'll have
the triple-layer brownie
with the butter cream
frosting.
Ah..
- Oh!
- Aww!
Well, if no one else
is interested..
- No, wait!
- Wait!
Steph, if we both give in
and eat those desserts
at the same time,
neither one of us would lose.
What do you think?
I think the one
in the center looks delicious.
Ah, that's the cookie
crumble cheesecake
and this is the very last piece,
better jump on it.
- We will!
- Not literally.
We'll take it.
- Bet's off?
- Bet's off.
- Ahh!
- Oh!
Alright,
right this way, gentlemen.
Very good.
Come on, son.
Sit down here.
Very good.
'Here you go.'
Well, look who's back.
We're sorry.
We'll be good.
- Jess.
- Hmm?
Where are our children?
Well, let's just say we
came to an understanding.
'When they go to a restaurant,
they act like gentlemen.'
When they go shopping,
they'll be with their mother.
Thanks.
Ah, it was incredible.
Um, what kind of cookies
were in that
cookie crumble cheesecake?
Actually, that cheesecake
was made with our very last tin
of Vanilla Weasels.
- Vanilla Weasels?
- Yes, Vanilla Weasels.
The most delectable
cookie ever created.
Weasel crumbs!
They're mine!
Mmm! Mmm! More!
Mmm! I need more!
Mmm! Mmm!
Joey, get over it.
Get on with your life.
Oh-ho-ho, I can't
get on with my life.
Not without..
Ooh, flan.
Well, if there's nothing else..
W-wait a minute,
I thought I recognized you.
You're on
"Wake Up San Francisco."
And you're not.
Say, what's
with this new guy?
And where did
he get that laugh?
Yeah, I know,
it's like a hyena.
Yeah, hyena.
That's it.
Ba-ha. Ba-ha-ha-ha!
Alright, so maybe
he has a bad laugh.
At least he has
a good attitude.
Why, because he howls
at everything you say?
He howls because now that
you're gone the show is funny.
Funny?
Becky, I'll have you know that
I watched the show this morning.
I didn't wanna watch it,
but you know
I-I couldn't
turn it off either.
It's kinda like when you
have a cavity and you-you know
you wanna keep sucking
air through the hole
to see if it still hurts.
Are you comparing my show
to a rotting tooth?
If the tooth hurts,
suck it.
You know, it's
a good thing you quit
because I'd fire
you in a minute.
It'd be fine with me
because you and the happy
hyena deserve each other.
At least the happy hyena
has a good attitude.
'He has no attitude!
He's a caricature!'
[indistinct chattering]
They're staring again.
Alright! Alright!
Hold it! Hold it!
Now, one more outburst,
I'm gonna pick you both up
by your suspenders, and take you
out to the screaming room.
- She started it.
- He started it.
I don't care who started it.
Now come on, you guys,
you love each other.
You're family.
And you love working together.
Now, this whole thing's
just blown outta proportion
because you got a little
jealous over her promotion.
I'm not jealous.
You guys think
I'm jealous?
(in unison)
Yes.
Well, I'm not.
It just bugged me that
she got promoted and I didn't.
That's jealous, isn't it?
Come on, Danny,
everybody gets jealous.
You know, you just got jealous
'cause Becky got a promotion.
Heck, I get jealous 'cause
people have, uh, girlfriends.
Their own apartments.
Lives.
Another flan, please.
Alright, look,
I got to admit
it stung when Becky
got promoted over me.
But I gotta accept it,
and I will.
Because I know she's gonna
do a really a good job.
Thanks, Danny.
That's nice of you to say.
I wasn't mad at you.
I think I just went
a little nuts
because I got passed over
in front of Michelle.
I wanted her to be
proud of me.
Daddy, can I read you
my report now?
Honey, I'd-I'd love that.
I'm sorry I didn't
listen to it earlier.
"My daddy was the best talk show
host in the whole world.
Everyone loved him.
He was funny and nice
and he made people
choke on their bear claws.
I wish my daddy were
still a talk show host
and so does everyone else."
Thanks, honey.
That helps a lot.
Danny, she's right.
I'd love for you
to come back.
I mean, the show's
not the same without you.
You're a great friend
and a great co-host
and if I had been
a better producer
I would have never
let you get away.
Oh, thanks, Beck.
(in unison)
You're the best.
(in unison)
I was gonna say that.
[theme song]
♪ Ah ah ah ♪♪