1
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:10,998
Brick Novax is
detective filthy Larry Gallivan
2
00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:13,768
in Unforeseen Collision.
3
00:00:15,214 --> 00:00:16,781
We are in the space
of infinity.
4
00:00:17,979 --> 00:00:19,345
Space of infinity!
5
00:00:20,481 --> 00:00:22,148
Anything is possible!
6
00:00:22,182 --> 00:00:25,485
I must warn you, I have
salt and pepper pubes.
7
00:00:26,754 --> 00:00:28,255
What's our Lady Refs motto?
8
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:30,224
Keep it clean, keep it tight.
9
00:00:30,259 --> 00:00:31,825
Like our pussies.
10
00:00:32,025 --> 00:00:42,225
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:46,207
Hello. I'm Ed Halligan,
12
00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:50,344
your host for tonight's episode of
Funny or Die Presents.
13
00:00:50,378 --> 00:00:53,380
If you don't know, Funny or Die
is and Internet company.
14
00:00:53,414 --> 00:00:56,716
You walk the halls here and you
see kids of all shapes and sizes
15
00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:58,651
running around,
willy-nilly,
16
00:00:58,685 --> 00:01:00,252
creating at the speed of light.
17
00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:03,255
A frenzy of free-wheeling,
colorful activity.
18
00:01:03,289 --> 00:01:06,491
Dynamic, exciting and
forward-moving.
19
00:01:07,793 --> 00:01:09,828
But you know what?
20
00:01:09,863 --> 00:01:12,565
I want to let you
in on something.
21
00:01:12,599 --> 00:01:15,368
I think about technology a lot.
22
00:01:15,402 --> 00:01:18,638
Sometimes I like to close
the door to my office,
23
00:01:18,673 --> 00:01:22,576
turn down the lights,
really let my thoughts go.
24
00:01:22,610 --> 00:01:25,245
I try to get beyond
what we do here.
25
00:01:25,279 --> 00:01:27,413
The Internet and
social networks.
26
00:01:27,448 --> 00:01:29,849
Texting and twittering
and typing.
27
00:01:29,883 --> 00:01:34,119
My mind sails on past character
streams of encoded data.
28
00:01:34,153 --> 00:01:37,088
Bytes and bits of data,
binary codes,
29
00:01:37,123 --> 00:01:38,990
codes on hyper cubes,
30
00:01:39,024 --> 00:01:42,393
systems within systems, systematically
encircling one another,
31
00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:47,265
like strange lovers lost
in abstract relationships.
32
00:01:47,299 --> 00:01:49,401
Quickly now, I race on.
33
00:01:49,435 --> 00:01:52,837
I'm entering a new space
with new symbols and sounds.
34
00:01:52,872 --> 00:01:54,439
They haven't been invented yet.
35
00:01:54,474 --> 00:01:56,075
Maybe I'm not allowed here.
36
00:01:56,109 --> 00:01:58,277
What if someone catches me?
37
00:01:58,311 --> 00:02:01,614
I hear noises never
noised before.
38
00:02:01,648 --> 00:02:04,117
Shapeless shapes
lurking in the corners.
39
00:02:04,151 --> 00:02:06,018
Technology beyond technology,
40
00:02:06,052 --> 00:02:08,020
unfolding like folding chairs.
41
00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:10,823
Snapping at me with
their metallic jaws.
42
00:02:10,857 --> 00:02:12,257
I've got to get out of here.
43
00:02:12,292 --> 00:02:16,394
My mind races on.
"Go, man go!" until...
44
00:02:16,429 --> 00:02:18,163
There it is.
45
00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:20,131
A tiny door
46
00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:26,371
with a kind of knobless knob for
a handle, all green and white.
47
00:02:26,405 --> 00:02:27,572
And then
48
00:02:28,741 --> 00:02:30,975
I'm back.
49
00:02:31,010 --> 00:02:36,047
With my carpet and my stapler and my
tie and my pictures and my gift books
50
00:02:36,081 --> 00:02:39,016
and my knickknacks
and my bowl of nuts
51
00:02:39,050 --> 00:02:41,351
and this little thing right here.
I'm not sure what it is,
52
00:02:41,386 --> 00:02:44,054
but it's here
and I'm happy about it.
53
00:02:44,089 --> 00:02:45,589
I'm back.
54
00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:16,220
Tonight
on Funny or Die Presents...
55
00:03:16,254 --> 00:03:18,555
Brick Novax's diary,
56
00:03:19,724 --> 00:03:23,561
the final episode of Lady Refs,
57
00:03:23,595 --> 00:03:26,931
the movie of the week,
Crazy Town,
58
00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:29,867
and welcome to my study.
59
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:19,151
My name, Brick Novax.
60
00:04:27,159 --> 00:04:29,727
I'm known for two things.
61
00:04:29,761 --> 00:04:32,797
My many heroic exploits
62
00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:36,467
and my legendary
prodigious substance intake.
63
00:04:36,501 --> 00:04:39,870
Now, with two weeks
left to live,
64
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:42,540
I've holed up here,
in the Clyde Motel
65
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:46,477
to record my memories
and preserve my legacy.
66
00:04:46,511 --> 00:04:48,446
This is my life.
67
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,149
This is Brick Novax's Diary.
68
00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:14,873
Testing one, two, one, two.
69
00:05:14,907 --> 00:05:17,775
Still another entry
in my diary.
70
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:19,810
I'm gonna talk about
some time ago
71
00:05:19,845 --> 00:05:22,112
when I was Japan's
biggest movie star.
72
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,349
I had made international
headlines.
73
00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:27,051
And Brick Novax is still at large
after stealing a motorcycle
74
00:05:27,086 --> 00:05:28,887
and riding it around the world.
75
00:05:28,922 --> 00:05:31,524
Authorities believe he's living in
Tokyo's Little Kansas neighborhood.
76
00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:34,227
It's unclear.
I was seen by noted Japanese film director,
77
00:05:34,261 --> 00:05:35,728
Kira Orasawa,
78
00:05:35,763 --> 00:05:37,597
who dug my outlaw style
79
00:05:37,631 --> 00:05:42,836
and immediately hired me to star in his
series of udon noodle crime dramas.
80
00:05:42,871 --> 00:05:46,006
Brick Novax is detective
filthy Larry Gallivan
81
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,308
in Unforeseen Collision.
82
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,878
Lights! Camera! Murder!
83
00:05:53,447 --> 00:05:55,147
Parallel larceny.
84
00:05:55,181 --> 00:05:58,717
But even though I was rich beyond my
wildest dreams, mis amigos,
85
00:05:58,751 --> 00:06:00,385
one thing still plagued me.
86
00:06:00,419 --> 00:06:02,320
Bulge pinch.
87
00:06:02,354 --> 00:06:04,522
No Japanese slacks
could prevent it.
88
00:06:04,556 --> 00:06:08,793
So I poured my cash into
developing a new kind of pant.
89
00:06:08,828 --> 00:06:11,330
Brick Novax's
fake-o-flex slacks.
90
00:06:11,364 --> 00:06:13,999
Now all we had to do
was market them.
91
00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:19,706
♪ Why can't they make slacks
92
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:23,143
♪ that help me relax?
93
00:06:23,177 --> 00:06:27,013
♪ Give me an extra inch
now it's a cinch
94
00:06:28,615 --> 00:06:31,117
♪ a no-bulge pinch
95
00:06:31,152 --> 00:06:34,321
♪ maybe some slacks that fit
96
00:06:34,355 --> 00:06:37,524
♪ showcase my bulge
without pinching it
97
00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:41,828
♪ even a tiny little bit
98
00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:46,432
♪ I'm more legit
than Sonny Stitt
99
00:06:48,035 --> 00:06:50,870
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
100
00:06:50,904 --> 00:06:52,471
♪ slacks!
101
00:06:52,505 --> 00:06:54,606
♪ And if you don't have a clue
102
00:06:54,641 --> 00:06:56,408
♪ slacks
103
00:06:56,442 --> 00:06:58,977
♪ well, get into some slacks ♪
104
00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:00,945
We were a worldwide smash.
105
00:07:00,980 --> 00:07:04,950
And all the proceeds went to the Novax
amalgamation for dolphin awareness.
106
00:07:04,984 --> 00:07:08,754
But then, reports came in that
people wearing fake-o-flex slacks
107
00:07:08,788 --> 00:07:10,589
began to develop a rash.
108
00:07:10,624 --> 00:07:14,527
A rash more painful than two tigers
devouring a helpless gazelle.
109
00:07:18,165 --> 00:07:21,301
The lawsuits ruined us
and, again, I was destitute.
110
00:07:21,335 --> 00:07:22,802
But you know what, champions?
111
00:07:22,836 --> 00:07:25,337
I tried to make this
world a better place.
112
00:07:25,372 --> 00:07:29,808
To this day, a pair of my slacks still
hang in the Slacksonian Institute.
113
00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:32,210
So if I have one thing
to say, it's this.
114
00:07:32,245 --> 00:07:36,947
No one knows how many ticks of the Timex
they get on this crazy, big, blue marble.
115
00:07:36,981 --> 00:07:40,851
So you got to make the most out of this
thing called life, my brothers and sisters.
116
00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:46,023
Always be yourself.
117
00:07:46,057 --> 00:07:47,291
Dream big dreams.
118
00:07:48,493 --> 00:07:51,662
And never, never
ration good times.
119
00:07:53,566 --> 00:07:57,435
♪ Be yourself
120
00:07:57,470 --> 00:08:02,540
♪ and dream big dreams
121
00:08:02,575 --> 00:08:07,812
♪ and never ration good times ♪
122
00:08:36,143 --> 00:08:38,645
Previously on Lady Refs...
123
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,382
The ref with the mullet
returned from Afghanistan.
124
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:42,716
And now she can't keep
her shit together.
125
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,885
Ow!
126
00:08:44,919 --> 00:08:48,888
The ref who looks like Shane from The L Word
had experimental knee surgery.
127
00:08:48,923 --> 00:08:53,092
And the ref with the '90s scrunchie
who always looks conflicted
128
00:08:54,828 --> 00:08:57,396
used bribe money to pay for it.
129
00:08:57,430 --> 00:09:00,499
'Cause, you know,
she might go gay.
130
00:09:03,336 --> 00:09:07,173
Jablonsky, no time to suffer from
post-traumatic stress disorder
131
00:09:07,207 --> 00:09:09,609
when you've got
the finals to ref.
132
00:09:09,643 --> 00:09:12,478
Come on, Kennedy,
just ref one dishonest game
133
00:09:12,513 --> 00:09:15,081
and then no one will
ever know you took a bribe.
134
00:09:15,116 --> 00:09:16,516
Hmm?
135
00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:18,051
Goddamn ACL.
136
00:09:18,085 --> 00:09:21,555
I can't believe I don't get
to ref the fucking finals!
137
00:09:21,589 --> 00:09:23,556
Ladies, big news.
138
00:09:23,591 --> 00:09:27,593
There's gonna be a scout today from
the World Cup looking for referees.
139
00:09:27,628 --> 00:09:29,228
Oh, man.
Not today.
140
00:09:29,263 --> 00:09:30,896
And, Kennedy,
141
00:09:30,931 --> 00:09:32,832
your wedding is at halftime.
142
00:09:47,414 --> 00:09:49,382
♪ If you're offsides,
out of bounds
143
00:09:49,416 --> 00:09:51,017
♪ to play real rough
and show them down
144
00:09:51,051 --> 00:09:52,418
♪ even you would get a bump
145
00:09:52,453 --> 00:09:54,220
♪ 'cause when I kick
I kick it hard
146
00:09:54,255 --> 00:09:57,123
♪ every time you hear
the whistle go
147
00:09:57,158 --> 00:09:58,891
♪ that's me in control
148
00:09:58,926 --> 00:10:00,393
♪ we're playing sudden death
149
00:10:00,427 --> 00:10:04,164
♪ lady refs ♪
150
00:10:17,845 --> 00:10:19,279
Capisce?
151
00:10:19,313 --> 00:10:21,715
A bribe. What do I do?
152
00:10:24,085 --> 00:10:25,252
No.
153
00:10:27,789 --> 00:10:28,856
No goal.
154
00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,091
It was offsides.
155
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:31,892
The goal doesn't count.
156
00:10:31,926 --> 00:10:34,394
What? That wasn't offsides.
157
00:10:36,731 --> 00:10:38,532
You're out of here.
158
00:10:38,566 --> 00:10:40,534
What?
Get out of here.
159
00:10:40,568 --> 00:10:43,337
Go back to your cave,
you terrorist.
160
00:10:43,371 --> 00:10:45,706
She can't ref a game when
her head's in Afghanistan.
161
00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:47,674
Get me in there!
162
00:10:47,709 --> 00:10:49,877
Damn it!
163
00:10:49,911 --> 00:10:51,645
Kennedy, call halftime.
164
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:52,947
Lady ref meeting.
165
00:10:52,981 --> 00:10:54,382
That's halftime.
166
00:10:54,416 --> 00:10:56,017
She just say "halftime"?
She said "halftime"?
167
00:10:56,051 --> 00:10:58,186
All right, this is my big day,
guys. It's my big day.
168
00:10:58,220 --> 00:10:59,387
Roll out the flowers please.
169
00:10:59,422 --> 00:11:00,622
We need to bring the aisles in.
170
00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:03,759
What's our lady refs motto?
171
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,961
Keep it clean, keep it tight.
172
00:11:05,995 --> 00:11:07,396
Like our pussies.
173
00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:10,366
Like our pussies.
What the fuck is wrong with you two?
174
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,502
Kennedy, you're refing
a dirty game.
175
00:11:12,536 --> 00:11:15,571
And I can't for the life of me
figure out why.
176
00:11:15,606 --> 00:11:17,239
I did it for you, okay?
177
00:11:17,274 --> 00:11:20,277
I took a $20 bribe
to save your life.
178
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,413
'Cause I...
'Cause nothing.
179
00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:24,614
You're getting married.
180
00:11:26,117 --> 00:11:28,352
Jablonsky, zip me up, man.
181
00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:32,890
How can I be so stupid?
182
00:11:32,924 --> 00:11:35,359
To think that shower meant
anything to you.
183
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,000
Anything.
184
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:50,774
Hey, what are you doing?
185
00:11:50,808 --> 00:11:53,076
I'm going after
the woman I love.
186
00:11:54,578 --> 00:11:55,711
So am I.
187
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:11,994
No!
188
00:12:13,596 --> 00:12:14,964
I love you!
189
00:12:20,471 --> 00:12:21,738
I love you, too.
190
00:12:24,909 --> 00:12:27,777
I've had these feelings,
but I've been so scared.
191
00:12:27,812 --> 00:12:30,246
You don't have
to ever be scared again,
192
00:12:30,281 --> 00:12:32,548
'cause I'll always
be by your side.
193
00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:35,784
Hey, you've got just
the kind of balls
194
00:12:35,818 --> 00:12:38,553
that we at the world cup are
looking for in a referee.
195
00:12:41,589 --> 00:12:44,625
How would you like
to go to South America?
196
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:47,662
You bet. See you, goofy.
197
00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:49,898
You're not injured, are you?
198
00:12:49,932 --> 00:12:52,100
No. Fit as
a motherfucking fiddle.
199
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,274
Goodbye, Elizabeth.
200
00:12:58,308 --> 00:12:59,776
Goodbye, lady refs!
201
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:01,478
Hello, lady soldiers!
202
00:13:05,782 --> 00:13:08,517
Unicorns win.
Capisce?
203
00:13:08,552 --> 00:13:09,752
Capisce.
204
00:13:10,854 --> 00:13:12,421
Game on.
205
00:13:44,755 --> 00:13:46,022
Meet Jeff Baker.
206
00:13:46,057 --> 00:13:48,191
Junior college professor.
207
00:13:48,226 --> 00:13:51,095
He can identify 45 different
brands of pipe tobacco.
208
00:13:51,129 --> 00:13:52,430
Country gentleman.
209
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:55,366
His favorite yoga pose...
The warrior.
210
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:58,303
Never sneak up
on Professor Baker.
211
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,506
Oh, and by the way,
212
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,874
I'm a Leo.
213
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:06,412
Tonight's episode, "Can I Turn
in My Paper on Saturday"?
214
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,047
Excellent point.
215
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:12,418
Well, we'll talk more about Steinbeck's
The Chrysanthemums next time.
216
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:17,723
Meanwhile, remember your reports on
Madame Bovary are due tomorrow.
217
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,263
Professor Baker, can I
talk to you for a second?
218
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,231
Of course.
What is it, miss Michaels?
219
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,833
Well, I was hoping I could get
an extension on the paper.
220
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,669
But the paper is due tomorrow.
You knew that three weeks ago.
221
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,906
I know, I know. But I have to work tonight
and I have a History midterm tomorrow.
222
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,875
I can have it on your desk
by Saturday.
223
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:39,044
Saturday?
224
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:42,714
Saturday. When I'm
all alone in my office.
225
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:44,515
I get your drift.
226
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,985
I'm very flattered,
but it would be wrong.
227
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:49,287
No, no, that's not what I meant.
228
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:52,990
I was afraid my lectures were
getting a little too spicy.
229
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:58,429
Besides, most women are
intrigued by a man with a pipe.
230
00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:01,165
Professor Baker,
I just need an extra day.
231
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:05,703
You see, I'm on an academic scholarship,
so I have to maintain a "B" average.
232
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:10,174
Sex in exchange
for a good grade.
233
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:12,376
I vowed I would never do it,
234
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:13,977
but we'll find out on Saturday.
235
00:15:14,011 --> 00:15:15,779
Look just need
a couple of hours.
236
00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:17,714
Can I bring it to you
by the end of tomorrow?
237
00:15:17,748 --> 00:15:20,483
Friday evening.
Even more romantic.
238
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:24,854
Ah! I must warn you,
I have salt and pepper pubes.
239
00:15:26,056 --> 00:15:27,724
I'll just bring it
to class tomorrow.
240
00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:28,958
Perfect.
241
00:15:49,213 --> 00:15:53,049
And now presenting the
world premiere of a motion picture
242
00:15:53,084 --> 00:15:55,820
produced especially
for Funny or Die.
243
00:15:55,854 --> 00:16:00,792
The movie of the week.
Tonight's movie, Crazy Town.
244
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,905
Man, this is gonna be
a great road trip, Dave.
245
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,773
Just me, my best friend
and the great outdoors.
246
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,875
Yeah, will,
this is gonna be great.
247
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,143
Yeah, it's gonna be...
248
00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:20,779
It's gonna be...
249
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,515
Crazy.
250
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,052
Yeah, maybe we'll
see some cool scenery.
251
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:30,623
Or maybe something crazier.
252
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,658
Like what?
A bald eagle or something?
253
00:16:32,693 --> 00:16:35,194
How about trying heroin
for the first time?
254
00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:37,597
What? Are you crazy?
Where did you get that?
255
00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,799
I don't know.
Who cares?
256
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,567
What are you doing?
257
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,309
Will!
258
00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:03,990
Will.
259
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:08,327
Come on in, Dave.
The water's warm.
260
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,797
Water? What water?
261
00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:12,331
That water.
Huh?
262
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,305
What is going on?
263
00:17:18,339 --> 00:17:19,506
Hello, David.
264
00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:21,275
Drink this whiskey.
Let's get crazy.
265
00:17:21,309 --> 00:17:22,777
Where are we?
Just drink it.
266
00:17:22,811 --> 00:17:24,712
Okay, but... Just kidding.
That's not whiskey.
267
00:17:24,746 --> 00:17:26,113
That's liquid acid.
268
00:17:26,147 --> 00:17:27,380
What?
269
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,115
Just kidding.
That's a dead baby.
270
00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:31,050
A dead...
Just kidding.
271
00:17:31,085 --> 00:17:33,185
Quick. Follow me.
272
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,057
Will?
273
00:17:41,893 --> 00:17:43,527
Kiss me.
274
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,130
Oh, God, no.
275
00:17:46,164 --> 00:17:48,432
Oh, God, stop!
276
00:17:57,642 --> 00:18:01,212
Come on in, David, and have a
cocktail with these slutty robots.
277
00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:06,349
But beware of the ticklers.
278
00:18:06,384 --> 00:18:07,951
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
279
00:18:07,985 --> 00:18:09,319
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
280
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:10,853
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
281
00:18:10,888 --> 00:18:12,688
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
282
00:18:12,722 --> 00:18:15,691
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
283
00:18:22,365 --> 00:18:23,832
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
284
00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:25,167
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
285
00:18:25,202 --> 00:18:27,904
That's enough fun for now.
286
00:18:32,910 --> 00:18:34,811
What is this place?
287
00:18:34,846 --> 00:18:37,481
I'm hungry.
I feel like I haven't eaten in...
288
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,050
Fifteen years.
289
00:18:39,084 --> 00:18:42,120
You were tickled for 15 years.
290
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,355
Come now, we shall feast.
291
00:18:47,692 --> 00:18:50,794
Oh, God! Please, no.
292
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,830
Will, where are you?
293
00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:01,371
Why are you doing this to me?
294
00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:03,572
You're delicious, Dave.
You really have to try some of you.
295
00:19:03,607 --> 00:19:05,408
I thought you were
my best friend.
296
00:19:05,442 --> 00:19:08,044
You wanna do
something even crazier.
297
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:11,415
No. No!
298
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,255
Great. Where are we now?
299
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:20,091
Well, David, we are in
the space of infinity.
300
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:22,226
Space of infinity.
301
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:26,164
Where anything is possible.
302
00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:29,099
Get me out of this place.
303
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:32,169
All you have to do is
snap your fingers.
304
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:38,008
My fingers!
305
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:41,278
No, no, no.
Not like that David.
306
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:42,813
Like this.
307
00:19:44,515 --> 00:19:46,450
Isn't this great, David?
308
00:19:46,484 --> 00:19:48,318
This really fucking hurts!
309
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,853
We can go wherever we want.
310
00:19:49,887 --> 00:19:53,357
To other dimensions,
or even travel through time.
311
00:19:53,391 --> 00:19:55,358
Well, then let's go
back in time now.
312
00:19:55,393 --> 00:19:57,628
Well, sure, David.
313
00:19:57,662 --> 00:20:01,564
We can go wherever you want!
314
00:20:08,639 --> 00:20:10,507
Uh, actually, I don't
want to go this way.
315
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,276
Do you mind if
we just go back home?
316
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:15,345
Wherever you want to. I just want to
hang out with my best friend today.
317
00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:20,350
Hey, sorry about that, man.
I just had a bad feeling. You okay?
318
00:20:20,384 --> 00:20:22,585
Yeah, everything is...
319
00:20:26,324 --> 00:20:29,092
Bonkers!
320
00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:38,802
David!
321
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:40,036
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
322
00:20:41,005 --> 00:20:44,141
Will, this isn't funny anymore!
323
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:10,936
♪ I have seen things
324
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:17,142
♪ things I just choose
not to talk about
325
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:22,781
♪ things that only
seem to frighten
326
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:26,651
♪ and offend most everybody
327
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:30,756
♪ welcome to my study ♪
328
00:21:36,431 --> 00:21:37,598
Oh, hello.
329
00:21:38,833 --> 00:21:40,934
And welcome to my study.
330
00:21:43,004 --> 00:21:44,804
My name is Mitchell.
331
00:21:44,839 --> 00:21:46,606
And I am Stuart.
332
00:21:49,711 --> 00:21:51,778
Stuart is my study friend.
333
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,314
And he's visiting
all the way from...
334
00:21:54,348 --> 00:21:57,783
You're always welcome to enjoy
the things that I found.
335
00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,220
That I found.
336
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:05,291
I'm lonely and
I collect things.
337
00:22:05,326 --> 00:22:07,794
And I also collect
things as well.
338
00:22:14,069 --> 00:22:18,139
So let's see what I found
inside my study drawers.
339
00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:24,879
It's a piece of felt.
340
00:22:27,249 --> 00:22:28,549
Put it on your face...
341
00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:31,852
Well, let's see what I found
inside my travel drawers.
342
00:22:37,391 --> 00:22:38,524
It's a geode.
343
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,695
The sparkling interior
of a geode contains
344
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:45,265
some of the most beautiful
crystals on earth.
345
00:22:45,299 --> 00:22:49,870
But how exactly they're formed
remains a mystery, even to this day.
346
00:22:53,709 --> 00:22:58,146
Well, let's see what I found
inside my study drawers.
347
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,254
It's just a
bunch of pieces of glass.
348
00:23:08,625 --> 00:23:10,026
My bottle is...
349
00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:12,895
Well, let's see what I found
inside my travel drawers.
350
00:23:14,899 --> 00:23:19,369
It's an ancient Roman coin.
351
00:23:19,403 --> 00:23:23,240
Over 2,000 years ago, this
coin represented a day's wages
352
00:23:23,275 --> 00:23:25,009
for a common laborer.
353
00:23:25,044 --> 00:23:29,081
But today, it is considered
far, far more valuable.
354
00:23:32,886 --> 00:23:36,990
But what do
I have in my drawers?
355
00:23:44,165 --> 00:23:45,799
It's beans.
356
00:23:46,901 --> 00:23:48,534
Beans...
But what do I have
357
00:23:48,569 --> 00:23:50,803
inside my travel drawers?
358
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:57,075
It's a picture of my family.
359
00:24:29,241 --> 00:24:32,744
♪ I have seen things
360
00:24:34,146 --> 00:24:39,384
♪ things I just choose
not to talk about
361
00:24:40,887 --> 00:24:44,656
♪ things that only
seem to frighten
362
00:24:44,690 --> 00:24:48,526
♪ and offend most everybody
363
00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:53,198
♪ welcome to my study ♪
364
00:25:10,117 --> 00:25:13,286
Well, that's our show for the
evening and I hope you liked it.
365
00:25:13,321 --> 00:25:16,089
I know some of you
didn't and that's okay.
366
00:25:16,124 --> 00:25:19,726
Comedy is not easy, and we all
laugh at different things.
367
00:25:19,761 --> 00:25:21,595
Some of you probably hated it.
368
00:25:21,629 --> 00:25:23,130
And now you're thinking about
369
00:25:23,164 --> 00:25:26,501
writing something in your blogs
with a lot of swear words.
370
00:25:26,535 --> 00:25:29,003
Well, you need
to take a moment.
371
00:25:29,038 --> 00:25:31,105
What's really got your goat?
372
00:25:31,140 --> 00:25:34,976
Small penis, no girlfriend,
can't hold down a job?
373
00:25:35,010 --> 00:25:37,578
Maybe God gave you
an ugly face.
374
00:25:37,613 --> 00:25:40,414
Anyway, I'm rooting
for you, ugly guy.
375
00:25:40,449 --> 00:25:43,051
Even if you do hate us.
376
00:25:43,085 --> 00:25:46,720
I guess that makes me
a lot like Jesus.
377
00:25:46,755 --> 00:25:48,288
See ya next time.
378
00:25:48,488 --> 00:25:58,688
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com