1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:02,240 This is ridiculous. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,880 Who wants to read about kiwi from supermarkets? 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,480 Jews, apparently. 4 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,280 Okay, this is the first one. 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,360 It's okay. 6 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,200 Rate up to ten, Dad. 7 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:20,000 Seven. 8 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,200 Here is the other. 9 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:28,560 Also a seven. 10 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:29,840 -No. -No? 11 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,720 One must get higher grades than the other. 12 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,680 Seven and a half. 13 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:35,960 In other words... 14 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,640 Okay, give it to me from Aldi. 15 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:43,320 Okay. 16 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:46,760 Delicious! Ten! 17 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:48,440 The one from Waitrose. 18 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,720 Ugh, no. One. 19 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,880 So in an independent blind test 20 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,120 the cheap ones get better grades than the expensive ones. 21 00:00:58,640 --> 00:00:59,440 It's a story. 22 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,640 For The Jewish Enquirer perhaps. 23 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,000 What are you talking about? The Mail does that all the time. 24 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,360 -Write for them, then. -Thanks for it. 25 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,560 I need to talk with you. What is Dad? 26 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:14,840 -In the kitchen. -Okay. 27 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,080 I've met a healer, Karin. 28 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,640 -Are you okay? -For my nerves. 29 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:22,520 She's good. 30 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,360 -She mixes special juices. -Like what? 31 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,200 I do not know. They are personal. 32 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,400 -Apple, orange? -They are tailor-made. 33 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,440 Lime with eggplant, clementine with potatoes? 34 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:32,400 It's a secret. 35 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,760 Like KFC for juices, right? What does it cost? 36 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:35,640 A fortune. 37 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,360 My money, my nerves, my life. 38 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,640 She said her grandfather told her 39 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,920 that daddy is not allowed to go on the cruise. 40 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,880 -So grandpa? Grandfather? -Yes. 41 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,560 Grandfather who died in 2005 and is buried in Bushley? 42 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,680 Yeah I know, okay. 43 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,880 Karin talks to the deceased. 44 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:51,800 Really? 45 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,520 She said it was dangerous to go. 46 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,000 She explicitly said that Grandpa said it was dangerous. 47 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,400 - Was it Karen? -Karin. 48 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,800 Charges Karin to talk to grandfather 49 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,120 or is it included in the price? 50 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,160 You're so cynical. 51 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,520 -How much? -It doesn't matter. 52 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,400 How much? 53 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,000 It's not about money. 54 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,760 Dad's life is at stake. 55 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,320 -You are crazy. -Then I guess I am. 56 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,560 How do we stop him? 57 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,840 Say his daughter needs tailor-made psychotherapy. 58 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,840 So you're going to let me say that? 59 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,000 Naomi is here! 60 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,720 -Yes, good luck. -What kind. 61 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:19,800 Thanks so much. 62 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,280 -Hello! -Hey, how are you? 63 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,880 -Good, you? -Lightly worn. 64 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,720 -I look forward to sunbathing. -You love the sun, right? 65 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,680 - You know I do. -Remind Naomi ... 66 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,440 I do not need to be reminded, thank you. 67 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,800 She knows, everyone knows. That's the only thing that keeps me going. 68 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,280 The oppressive heat, the noise of the waves. 69 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,520 The sound of the waves. 70 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,080 It is a healing balm for the soul. 71 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,520 A healing balm, wow. 72 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,560 And the sea air is good for the brain. 73 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,960 For the brain. Maybe you should both go. 74 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,320 -But if something happens to your dad, then? -Like what? 75 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:58,240 Like an umbrella wears itself out and points him straight through the heart. 76 00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,200 Come on. 77 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,160 Or the cruise ship was blown up by jihadists. 78 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,640 - Would be your fault. -No. 79 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,960 It's the jihadists' fault. 80 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,680 In the past, people used to burn people for this kind of thing. 81 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,920 -Have you not chosen a racket yet? -I'm checking the voltage. 82 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,600 So you are not coming to the party on Saturday? 83 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,440 I'm not going to rent a suit and look like a four year old 84 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,360 to get a glass and some chips. 85 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,920 It is my birthday. Many single women. 86 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,800 Yes, but the same single women who have come in the last ten years. 87 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,040 -You met Penny there. -No sales argument. 88 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,720 Well, you met your ex-wife at one of my parties. 89 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,520 You thought she was pretty. 90 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,840 The cheesecakes were pointed. 91 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,600 Wonder Woman is coming. 92 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,880 Is Gal Gadot coming to East Finchley? 93 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,040 No. Mandy Stemmings but she has the suit. 94 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,240 She's not a Gal Gadot. 95 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,000 She is the head of Google and a single mother with four children. 96 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,080 Another type of Wonder Woman. Come on. 97 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,280 Come then. 98 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:04,640 Can I help you? 99 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,720 -Paul from The Jewish Enquirer. -Shalom. 100 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,840 Thank you for coming. 101 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,240 -Sugar? -Yes, thank you. 102 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,680 You must think it's strange that I invited you here. 103 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,080 You probably explain. 104 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,080 The church is going to have a fundraiser for charity next month. 105 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,000 Yes. 106 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,480 Yes. 107 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,960 It is noteworthy that when the synagogue has a fundraiser 108 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,320 then they get in a large sum. 109 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,200 Yes. 110 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,440 So I thought, for the spirit of community, 111 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,360 would be fun to invite, 112 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,920 how should i say this ... 113 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:00,720 Judar. 114 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,240 So not really in a community spirit then? 115 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,400 No. 116 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,360 -And you want PR in the newspaper. -And preferably on the website. 117 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,080 - Do you have any cookies? -Visst. 118 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,640 Of course we will promote the church's autumn party. 119 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,400 September 22nd. 120 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,240 Digestive? 121 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,960 - Do you have bourbons? -Bourbons. 122 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,240 Here. 123 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:41,960 Thanks. 124 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:49,880 Bourbon. 125 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,200 Do we agree? 126 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,760 Anything I can do for you? 127 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,920 Yes, I'm going to a party on Saturday. 128 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,840 Nice of you to ask, but I like women. 129 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,720 Very much, in fact. 130 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,960 It's a masquerade party. I wanted to borrow your suit. 131 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,520 You mean, like, my clothes? 132 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,080 Ask the imam in the mosque down the street. 133 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,160 -I can not go as an imam. -But the priest works? 134 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,440 Dawn French has been doing this for years. 135 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,920 Yes, theoretically I should be able to go as an imam 136 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,800 but now we stand here. 137 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,840 And you want publicity for the collection, 138 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,560 and I want to continue living. 139 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,760 Can I come along? 140 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,640 -Va? -I'm free on Saturday. 141 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,360 There will be alcohol. 142 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,400 Crikey. No good-looking women, I hope? 143 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,840 -Okay, I'm listening. -You know I're meeting a healer. 144 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:47,920 Now I do. 145 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,360 She said that you are not allowed to go on the cruise. 146 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,120 Give her thanks from me. 147 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,800 Dad, you do not understand. Paul, help me. 148 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:03,160 Grandfather's spirit appeared to Naomi's healing juicers 149 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,680 and said that something dangerous could happen. 150 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,480 God damnit. Seriously? 151 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,600 Thanks. 152 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,680 Has something she predicted happened? 153 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:16,120 -Yes. She predicted Brexit. -Exact figures? 154 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,480 Probably exact numbers, I think. 155 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,840 And Universitetsrodden three years in a row. 156 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,840 It stands between two teams. 157 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,480 Three years in a row! 158 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,480 Why did Daddy show up for her and not me? 159 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,520 Va? 160 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,440 If Dad looked out of the wall and said "Do not go, Ron" 161 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,200 maybe I should take it seriously. 162 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,680 I would take it very seriously, but ... 163 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,200 If it was one in a million that she was right, would you take it? 164 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,080 No. 165 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,400 -One in a thousand? -No. 166 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:42,440 -One in a hundred? -No. 167 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,320 -Ten? -No. 168 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,760 -Five, four, three, two ... -No. 169 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:46,800 -One? -No. 170 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,680 Okay, but do not blame me if you die or get sick 171 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,920 or begins to cough. 172 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,200 I warned you. 173 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,080 -Cough? -Horror cough. 174 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,320 It's your choice. 175 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,960 I'm packing some cough medicine. 176 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,560 Does the pastor want to dance? 177 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,320 I'm not good at dancing. 178 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,320 Do you only do things you are good at? 179 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,600 -Do you do things you are not good at? -All the time. 180 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:45,840 Why? 181 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:51,400 You can apparently move the limbs to rhythm and music. I can not. 182 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,880 Not exactly a skill. 183 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:54,840 It makes one happy. 184 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:58,160 No, it makes you happy. Do you know what makes me happy? 185 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,080 Grilled chicken, with a little sauce. 186 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,240 Fried potatoes, some sprouts. Jajamän, I'm done. 187 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,880 I have a chicken at home. 188 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,240 Grilled? 189 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,840 It's raw, but we can cook it. 190 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,000 Now? 191 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,440 Yes. 192 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:20,040 Yes. 193 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,840 I'm going to the bathroom, but yes. 194 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,640 ... in the bright sky 195 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,440 Looked down where he lay 196 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,160 There's the little Lord Jesus 197 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,120 Asleep in the hay 198 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,000 The cattle are lowing 199 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,920 The baby awakes! 200 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,000 The little Lord Jesus 201 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,640 No crying he makes 202 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,280 -You are welcome. -Why did you do that? 203 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,240 -What? -Nymned on a Christmas song on the toilet. 204 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,920 I do not know. Had it on my brain. 205 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,880 What if I hummed on Schindler's list? 206 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,360 Alright. 207 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:13,000 That one from the Day of Atonement then, Kol ... 208 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,400 Kol Nidre? 209 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:20,040 And if I sat and shit and sang at Kol Nidre? 210 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,080 You are comparing one of Judaism's most sacred prayers 211 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,960 with "Away in a manger"? I would say you're anti-Semitic. 212 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,120 Then I want back my uniform. 213 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,960 -Now? -Yes. 214 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,680 This will affect what I write about your fundraising party. 215 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,320 Then so, then it's a party accompli. 216 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,880 Funny, for a Jew hater. 217 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,080 -Hello. -Hello. 218 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,560 -Condoms. -Which variety? 219 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,000 God, that was a while ago. 220 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,640 -Ribbed, with dots? -Good choice. 221 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,760 What is it, is it apple? 222 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,760 We have a package with five flavors. 223 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,920 Strawberry, apple, 224 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,800 orange, mango ... 225 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,560 -And one more. -Okay. 226 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:21,920 But why do they have to taste something if I'm inside her? 227 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,920 -It's for oral sex. -Sure, yes. 228 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,600 Why do I need a condom if we have oral sex? 229 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:31,960 If she's picky, a little apple juice down there. 230 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:33,640 -Right. -Three three. 231 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,880 Okay. 232 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,840 -She's a little young, isn't she? -Over 16. 233 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:41,920 Not funny. 234 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,960 She's over thirty. 235 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,840 -You give us a bad reputation. -Oss? 236 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,480 No, I'm not a Muslim. 237 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:52,640 Are you not a Muslim? She's not a schoolgirl? 238 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,440 -I may not work here. -We have been to a masquerade party. 239 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,800 -Dressing as an imam is a joke? -I dressed as a priest. 240 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,760 I had to take this on. 241 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,080 I'll call the police. Nothing should be grumbled here. 242 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,200 No, I'll show you. 243 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,280 -Okay. -Hermione, com. 244 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,400 She's dressed as a schoolgirl ... 245 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,360 -Let me ask. -Okay. 246 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,560 Are you over 16? 247 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,600 What are you, type 36, 37? 248 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,800 I'm 29 and got to show my ID last week. 249 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,800 29. 250 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,040 -Thanks. -Allahu akbar. 251 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,200 Very funny. Out. 252 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,160 -Allahu akbar. -Hi then. 253 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,440 I knew I was going to find someone tonight. 254 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,960 Female intuition. 255 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,760 You could say that. 256 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,360 Feels a little weird, dressed like this. 257 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,040 Take them off then. 258 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,560 Maybe I do. 259 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,240 Oops, it was stuffed. 260 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,360 Juice mixes. 261 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,320 I get them made according to my different moods. 262 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,480 -What's in them? -The recipe is secret. 263 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,960 Juicer Karin? 264 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:08,920 Do you know her? 265 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,480 She is wonderful! 266 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,400 She predicted that I would meet you tonight. 267 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,200 -You are joking. -No. 268 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,080 She said she saw my dead grandfather. 269 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,200 Then she has it. 270 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,720 -She is a quack. -Definitely not. 271 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,040 You're standing here. 272 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,280 What exactly did she say? 273 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,920 She said I would meet a man wearing a white collar. 274 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,840 Come here now. 275 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,600 No I can not. 276 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:32,840 Why not? 277 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,480 Because if something happens between us 278 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,200 so it will be because Karin said that it would happen, 279 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,000 which means she controls our lives. 280 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,680 If she says we're going to break up, we'll do it. 281 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,480 If she says I'm neurotic, you'll believe her, 282 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:49,560 and that means Daddy can not go on his fucking cruise. 283 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,880 It disturbs my whole philosophy of life, 284 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,880 that ghosts tell the future for fortune tellers who charge. 285 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,800 Okay, so what do you want to do? 286 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,040 You have condoms in your pocket and the chance to use one. 287 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,360 Maybe two. 288 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,600 Let me think a little. 289 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:23,520 When we met, yes, I was dressed as a priest. 290 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,800 Then the priest takes back the clothes 291 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,880 and when I went I was dressed like an imam, 292 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,280 so maybe he's the right one. 293 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:31,720 Priests? 294 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,040 Why not? 295 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,880 He is nice, has a good job, likes women 296 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,680 a little anti-Semitic but who is not? 297 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,040 -Have his number here somewhere. -You're damn crazy. 298 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,160 You reject me because someone predicted it? 299 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,040 You're crazy because you believe in it. 300 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,120 Get out. 301 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,440 Did she say anything about chicken? 302 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,720 Because that smells wonderful. 303 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,960 Out! 304 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,520 I met a girl yesterday. Who knows Karen. 305 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:03,880 -Karin. -Skit same. 306 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,520 The little doomsday prophet and the juicer, 307 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,080 and I disproved her. 308 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,720 Where are you talking about? 309 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,000 Karin said that me and the girl would have it together, but not. 310 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,040 Of course not. 311 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,000 I'm going to expose her. 312 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:17,880 Why? 313 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,680 Because she deceives the gullible. It's a story. 314 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,480 You draw hasty conclusions. 315 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,400 I do not want Dad to go. 316 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,320 - Have you not missed the cruise? -Daddy-will-die-cruise. 317 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,640 She's blowing you, let him go. 318 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:34,240 I'll fix it so you can meet Karin, okay? 319 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,240 But I'll decide if he goes. 320 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,640 That's our deal, okay? 321 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:44,840 Okay, taken. But you have to taste pineapple. 322 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,440 -No. -Come again. 323 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,480 Two pineapples, one from M&S, one from Aldi. 324 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,880 Yes, expensive is always better than cheap. 325 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,520 -Try. Cheap is the worst. 326 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,080 Afraid you'll be wrong? 327 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:57,480 Good? 328 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:02,800 And... 329 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,920 This? 330 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,240 This. 331 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,960 - Do not help him. -Va? 332 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,520 You said "this one". It's cheating. 333 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,000 -I do not do that at all. -Jo. 334 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,760 God, it's like playing Monopoly with you again. 335 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,760 You always landed on Mayfair and Park Lane. 336 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,720 Yes, I did, damn it. 337 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,480 -Every time we played? -Yes. 338 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,960 You always have to win, right? 339 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,200 I just think I'm lucky. Very lucky. 340 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,160 Yes? 341 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,080 Do you give the imam his clothes? 342 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,960 -Certainly. -Did you have fun at the party? 343 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,400 It was great fun. 344 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,440 Write about the collection. 345 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,920 No, forget it. 346 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,640 Hurry up, bumblebee. 347 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,720 -Hermione? -Matilda. 348 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,280 Hello. 349 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,200 You were right, he is the right one. 350 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,080 Good job, Karin. 351 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,040 Come on, the condom must be used. 352 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,360 Do you use my condoms? 353 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,760 You gave them to me. 354 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:09,920 Do you have one on you now? 355 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,520 Type. 356 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,800 -Juice? -Okay. 357 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:19,800 It's Tropicana. 358 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,920 No, Karin has done it all herself. 359 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,800 -I promise it's Tropicana. -It's not. 360 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,640 I did a taste test last week between Tesco and Tropicana, 361 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,320 so my taste buds are very sharp. 362 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,680 That's 100% Tropicana. 363 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,360 -The lying satmaran. Am I still the right person? 364 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,240 Calm down. 365 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,280 I'll meet her this afternoon. Do you want to come along? 366 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,840 -One minute only. -She may not be lying. 367 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,040 You do not need the condom anymore so ... 368 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,480 Not exactly a pound of meat. 369 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,280 -Throw it. -Do it yourself. 370 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,760 -It's been sitting on your penis. -Pathetic. 371 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:36,800 Come on, let's drive. 372 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,520 God, is this it? 373 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,240 The thought never struck you that she does it for the money? 374 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,520 This does not mean that she is a fraud. 375 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,640 He judges in advance. 376 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,840 The phone is recording, come on. 377 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,560 Hey, come in. 378 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,280 I understand that you are a medium, or rather a small one. 379 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,360 -You must be Paul. -Nice. 380 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,440 This is my dad. 381 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:04,760 It would be awful if you did though. You who look so healthy. 382 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,240 -Thanks. -Hey. 383 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,120 -Hello. -How are you? 384 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,080 How can I help you? 385 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:18,240 Dad is very worried about one of your predictions. 386 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,720 Would you prefer that I did not say anything? 387 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:26,080 Imagine I said I saw a sign in the sky 388 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,480 who said that you would die a horrible death, 389 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:32,200 type next time you visited an Italian restaurant. 390 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,760 Do you have experience reading the clouds? 391 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,720 -I say so. -But do you have it? 392 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,240 Have you? 393 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,000 Has anyone here just had sex? 394 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,840 Do you see? How do you know that? 395 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,320 Everyone smells the priest on Matilda. 396 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,720 -Karin. -Yes? 397 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,960 I love the sun. It reaches my soul. 398 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,280 If I cancel the cruise ... 399 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,640 He says it's okay for you to go on the cruise. 400 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,480 -Hurray! -Va? 401 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:04,960 Grandpa said he was joking. 402 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,160 -He can not just change. -I did not. 403 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:09,880 He said he was joking. 404 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:14,120 If you're there grandpa, what part did I read during my Bar Mitzvah? 405 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:19,120 He's not up there. He's in the armchair over there. 406 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:29,000 Last Saturday you said I would meet a man in a white collar. 407 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,400 I met two. The priest and this guy. 408 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,640 -Which it is? -The other, of course. 409 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,640 How do you want to pay for the group call? 410 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,160 I find the door myself. 411 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,520 Group talk? 412 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,960 We're more than two, so it's a group talk. 413 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,880 Tropicana, anyone? 414 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,920 -What? -Someone just died in a car accident. 415 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,160 -What? -India. 416 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:57,960 I want my 260 pounds back. 417 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,000 260 pounds? How much juice have you drunk? 418 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,520 She takes 20 pounds per person. 419 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,640 It's not my fault that your family is gullible. 420 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,800 You fucking cheater! 421 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,480 And I'm going to reveal you. 422 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,800 What, in the Jewish Enquirer? 423 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:10,840 Starting with, 424 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:15,040 sen The Mail, The Express, Victoria Derbyshire. 425 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:16,040 Everything is recorded. 426 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,320 Why do you have a used condom in your pocket? 427 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,080 It is not fully used, only caged. 428 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,080 I had nowhere to put it. 429 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,080 I just do not want people to use my property. 430 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,440 It's not a townhouse, 431 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,200 it is a condom which has not been fully used. 432 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,720 Okay, I will. 433 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,520 Your grandfather says I'll give you a full refund 434 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,680 if everyone thanks him. 435 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,080 Thank you, Grandpa. 436 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,680 Thanks Dad. 437 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,680 Thanks so much. 438 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,680 -I can not. -Paul. 439 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,480 Thank you, Grandpa, 440 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,640 though choose someone cheaper next time, 441 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:05,960 from the south of Watford. 442 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,240 It's like both have different types of mango in the boxes. 443 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,120 There was more than one country of origin. 444 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,760 They may have one sweet and one less sweet in each box. 445 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,760 Give it to me from Lidl. 446 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:19,920 The new number is live. 447 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,880 Are you on the front page? 448 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,960 "Cloudy in Tel Aviv, exclusive report." 449 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,920 "The Church's fundraiser only receives £ 30, excluding reports." 450 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,480 "Twin Brothers Shares Bar Mitzvah, Exclusive Reportage." 451 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:37,840 Saves a lot of money. 452 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,760 "Tony Blair calls for understanding 453 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,960 from both sides of the Middle East, exclusive reportage. " 454 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:47,320 "Jewish Film Festival opens with film about Jews, exclusive reportage." 455 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,800 -Do you want to try it from Lild again? -Yes.