1 00:00:02,138 --> 00:00:05,078 (dramatic banging) (light music) 2 00:00:05,176 --> 00:00:07,166 - Jamie? 3 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:13,933 Konnichiwa, where is the canal? 4 00:00:14,968 --> 00:00:17,348 (app speaking Japanese) 5 00:00:17,445 --> 00:00:20,795 (Fran speaking Japanese) 6 00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:25,261 Come on. ♪ My regret ♪ 7 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,639 - Are you done braiding each other's hair or whatever? 8 00:00:26,718 --> 00:00:28,978 We've got a job to do, come on. 9 00:00:29,076 --> 00:00:30,446 (horn honking) ♪ It makes me ♪ 10 00:00:30,554 --> 00:00:32,554 - Ah, what else? 11 00:00:33,072 --> 00:00:37,472 Um, a tarpaulin, some rope and a meat saw, please. 12 00:00:39,747 --> 00:00:42,977 (app speaking Japanese) 13 00:00:46,661 --> 00:00:48,661 This is ridiculous. 14 00:00:50,937 --> 00:00:53,077 (door banging) 15 00:00:53,175 --> 00:00:55,065 (gravel crunching) 16 00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:59,973 ♪ Happened on the safe side ♪ (Fran knocking) 17 00:01:02,927 --> 00:01:04,147 - Franny. 18 00:01:04,246 --> 00:01:05,426 - Jamie ready? 19 00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:08,335 (Kat groans) 20 00:01:08,442 --> 00:01:11,822 (Jamie panting) - Ooh. (laughs) 21 00:01:11,919 --> 00:01:13,859 - Sorry, I overslept. 22 00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:15,957 A bit of a bender last night. 23 00:01:16,995 --> 00:01:18,565 Kat had a speaking engagement, so. 24 00:01:18,673 --> 00:01:20,773 - And I wanted to say thank you to my bestie 25 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,972 for helping me, so we had a few drinky-poos. 26 00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:24,570 - Yes, I can smell all of them. 27 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,408 - Yeah, it did get a bit Keith Richards. 28 00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:27,967 - Don't look at me. 29 00:01:28,066 --> 00:01:30,316 I wasn't the one who gate crashed a hen party. 30 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,844 - Gosh, that's strong for a school night. 31 00:01:32,941 --> 00:01:34,161 (Kat laughs) - I mean, they needed me. 32 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,520 The maid of honour was doing her best, but- 33 00:01:35,619 --> 00:01:36,679 - Yeah, she was no Captain Party. 34 00:01:36,778 --> 00:01:37,878 Go on, do the voice. 35 00:01:37,977 --> 00:01:41,107 - Ah-har, me party hearties. 36 00:01:41,214 --> 00:01:45,714 (both laughing) (Fran fake-laughing) 37 00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:47,310 - Oh, mm. 38 00:01:47,409 --> 00:01:49,189 - Ah, looks like we weren't the only one 39 00:01:49,288 --> 00:01:51,288 who had a big night last night, Franny. 40 00:01:52,165 --> 00:01:53,895 - Didn't leave the house, Katty. 41 00:01:54,004 --> 00:01:55,904 - Seriously? Wow. 42 00:01:56,002 --> 00:01:58,462 So empowered to just not give a shit what you look like. 43 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,560 Love that. 44 00:02:02,037 --> 00:02:05,887 - Did these scarves come as a sort of bargain 2 for 1? 45 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,973 - No, this is just another little thank you from me. 46 00:02:09,071 --> 00:02:12,371 - This is 100% silk, designer scarf, Fran. 47 00:02:12,468 --> 00:02:14,008 - Mm. 48 00:02:14,106 --> 00:02:16,436 Can you still call it a scarf if it's so thin 49 00:02:16,544 --> 00:02:17,264 it doesn't actually keep you warm? 50 00:02:17,344 --> 00:02:18,524 I was just wondering. 51 00:02:18,623 --> 00:02:19,803 - Franny, would you mind taking a quick snap 52 00:02:19,902 --> 00:02:21,562 of the survivors for us? 53 00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,680 - Oh yes. - Ooh. 54 00:02:23,778 --> 00:02:24,718 - Come on, ready? One, two- 55 00:02:24,817 --> 00:02:27,997 (camera snaps) There you go. 56 00:02:28,095 --> 00:02:29,345 - Thank you. 57 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,433 - We should probably go. We're a bit late. 58 00:02:31,532 --> 00:02:33,712 Very important security training course, you know. 59 00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:37,030 That's proper work, proper, no drinky-poos there. 60 00:02:37,127 --> 00:02:38,747 - Me too. 61 00:02:38,845 --> 00:02:40,695 I have got a meeting with my publisher about my new book. 62 00:02:40,804 --> 00:02:42,864 Um, everyone's still buying the shit out of the old one. 63 00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:45,022 Chill out. (Fran chuckles) 64 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,540 So this will be the longest we've been away 65 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:48,139 from each other in weeks. 66 00:02:48,238 --> 00:02:50,138 Do you really have to go away for the whole weekend? 67 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,246 - I'm afraid it's just how long the course lasts. 68 00:02:52,354 --> 00:02:53,094 - I'll miss you. 69 00:02:53,193 --> 00:02:55,193 - I'll miss you, too. 70 00:02:55,711 --> 00:02:58,391 - All right, I'm gonna go, and I'll be in the van. 71 00:03:02,465 --> 00:03:04,275 - You'll talk to her, yeah, about what we discussed. 72 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,684 - Yeah, I'll try mighty good. 73 00:03:05,783 --> 00:03:07,843 - Best you do it sooner rather than later. 74 00:03:07,941 --> 00:03:10,201 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay? 75 00:03:10,299 --> 00:03:12,079 Unless you've changed your mind, Jamie. 76 00:03:12,177 --> 00:03:13,157 You can be honest with me. 77 00:03:13,256 --> 00:03:14,236 If this isn't what you want... 78 00:03:14,335 --> 00:03:16,705 - No, no, no. No, no. 79 00:03:16,813 --> 00:03:17,873 No, it definitely is. 80 00:03:17,972 --> 00:03:19,952 I'll tell her today, I promise. 81 00:03:20,051 --> 00:03:22,171 - You have so much courage inside of you 82 00:03:23,528 --> 00:03:25,528 and we're just starting to unlock it together. 83 00:03:33,399 --> 00:03:36,099 - Oh, Fran, why'd you have to park all the way over there? 84 00:03:36,197 --> 00:03:37,537 - [Fran] All right, straight to A&E 85 00:03:37,636 --> 00:03:39,626 or should we do the job first? 86 00:03:40,913 --> 00:03:42,913 - Jamie! 87 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,810 Ah-har. 88 00:03:45,909 --> 00:03:47,909 - Ah-har. 89 00:03:48,746 --> 00:03:50,796 Oh, dear. 90 00:03:50,904 --> 00:03:52,804 - [Fran] Right, milking it now. 91 00:03:52,903 --> 00:03:55,003 - Oh, my head. (door bangs) 92 00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,541 (eerie music) 93 00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:05,154 Sorry about the hangy, mate. 94 00:04:05,252 --> 00:04:06,312 I know it's unprofessional. 95 00:04:06,411 --> 00:04:08,411 - No, it's absolutely fine, mate. 96 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,869 - Really? I thought you'd be cross. 97 00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:11,867 - What, me? 98 00:04:11,967 --> 00:04:13,347 I'm super chill, well, you know. 99 00:04:13,445 --> 00:04:15,095 It's an easy job today, anyway. 100 00:04:15,204 --> 00:04:16,784 We'll just have fun, hanging out, 101 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,622 mates being mates and all that, 102 00:04:18,721 --> 00:04:22,221 just a couple of A-grade assassins literally slaying. 103 00:04:22,318 --> 00:04:23,698 (Jamie sighs) 104 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:26,246 Oh, that's an 80% proof sigh, that one. 105 00:04:26,354 --> 00:04:27,694 You sure you're okay to do this hit? 106 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:29,793 - Yeah, yeah, I'm a professional. 107 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,771 So who are we slaying today? 108 00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:32,770 - Oh, it's easy, this one. 109 00:04:32,869 --> 00:04:34,569 Big crime boss, organ harvester. 110 00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:36,167 - Ugh. 111 00:04:36,266 --> 00:04:38,756 - Can you imagine removing somebody's eyeballs? 112 00:04:38,864 --> 00:04:40,084 I mean, what would you do? 113 00:04:40,183 --> 00:04:42,123 Would you take them out with spoon? (popping) 114 00:04:42,221 --> 00:04:45,001 Or would you go for a sort of sucking technique (slurping)? 115 00:04:45,098 --> 00:04:47,098 Big straw? - No, Fran, no. 116 00:04:47,696 --> 00:04:48,636 - Oh, what about guts? 117 00:04:48,735 --> 00:04:50,545 Slippery, like a wet rope- 118 00:04:50,654 --> 00:04:52,074 - Okay. - That goes on forever. 119 00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,912 - Okay, you can stop now. - Liver. 120 00:04:54,011 --> 00:04:55,631 That's not nice, a couple of kidneys, 121 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,189 pop them out, your giblets. 122 00:04:58,287 --> 00:04:59,907 Do humans have giblets? 123 00:05:00,006 --> 00:05:02,176 (door banging) (Jamie vomits) 124 00:05:02,284 --> 00:05:03,744 (chuckles) Excellent. 125 00:05:03,843 --> 00:05:05,623 Right over the freshly raked gravel. 126 00:05:05,721 --> 00:05:08,161 (eerie music) 127 00:05:11,996 --> 00:05:13,606 (photo rustling) 128 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,054 (door banging) (Kat sighs) 129 00:05:16,152 --> 00:05:18,592 (eerie music) 130 00:05:22,227 --> 00:05:25,437 (bird cawing) (gunshot thwacking) 131 00:05:25,544 --> 00:05:30,384 (eerie music) (typewriter clacking) 132 00:05:31,059 --> 00:05:34,279 (Jamie vomiting) 133 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,477 Ready whenever you are, Captain. 134 00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:39,185 (Jamie vomiting) 135 00:05:39,292 --> 00:05:41,492 You see, this is why I don't go to hen parties. 136 00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:46,470 Or parties. Or out, ever. 137 00:05:46,566 --> 00:05:47,746 I'm a teetotal killing machine, 138 00:05:47,845 --> 00:05:51,095 like the Terminator or Saudi Arabia. 139 00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:52,502 - (sigh) I think I got it all up now. 140 00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:53,821 - Well, listen, give me a hand with Methven, 141 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,940 we'll take you to a nice, warm travel lodge, 142 00:05:56,038 --> 00:05:57,818 get a nice watery Masala down you, 143 00:05:57,917 --> 00:05:59,577 some hair of the dog. 144 00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:01,125 - (vomits) Nothing to get out. 145 00:06:01,234 --> 00:06:02,414 - (chuckles) Do you know what? 146 00:06:02,513 --> 00:06:04,053 I'm really glad that you and Kat had a chance 147 00:06:04,151 --> 00:06:05,571 to just, you know, hang out before we leave for Japan. 148 00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:07,330 - Ooh, yeah, definitely. 149 00:06:07,429 --> 00:06:09,489 - Oh, talking of which, Mr. V's got the flight itineraries 150 00:06:09,587 --> 00:06:11,887 all sorted, so you need to sort that visa out. 151 00:06:11,985 --> 00:06:13,955 - Yeah, yeah, no, I will, definitely. 152 00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:15,323 - Good. 153 00:06:15,422 --> 00:06:17,422 Good. All right. 154 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,639 Come on, give me a hand. 155 00:06:20,737 --> 00:06:22,037 Okay. 156 00:06:22,136 --> 00:06:22,856 I don't wanna stay in here too long. 157 00:06:22,935 --> 00:06:23,635 I'd lose a kidney. 158 00:06:23,735 --> 00:06:24,985 - That'd be awful. 159 00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:27,314 - Oh, she's back in the room. (chuckles) 160 00:06:27,412 --> 00:06:28,672 Do you know what? 161 00:06:28,770 --> 00:06:29,530 We could never be organ harvesters. 162 00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:30,470 - Why? - It takes guts. 163 00:06:30,569 --> 00:06:32,909 - Oh! She's good. 164 00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:34,347 I would applaud, obviously, 165 00:06:34,446 --> 00:06:35,546 but I'm handling a dead body. 166 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:36,575 - Yeah. 167 00:06:36,684 --> 00:06:37,824 - Now, where we gonna hide him? 168 00:06:37,923 --> 00:06:38,663 - Good question. 169 00:06:38,762 --> 00:06:40,102 I've no idea. 170 00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:41,461 (eerie music) 171 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,060 Oh, yeah. 172 00:06:43,158 --> 00:06:45,818 (eerie music) 173 00:06:45,916 --> 00:06:48,526 - [Jamie] Yeah, they've got nice coffins, actually. 174 00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:50,414 It's a bit of a waste that they go in the ground, isn't it? 175 00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:52,092 (upbeat music) 176 00:06:52,191 --> 00:06:54,971 ♪ I got a feeling and the feeling is all right ♪ 177 00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:56,728 ♪ It's a funny thing ♪ 178 00:06:56,827 --> 00:06:58,767 ♪ When it comes to you ♪ 179 00:06:58,865 --> 00:07:01,675 (music continues, muffled) 180 00:07:01,782 --> 00:07:02,842 (Jamie laughs) 181 00:07:02,941 --> 00:07:04,161 - Call the lawyers. 182 00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:05,840 Got sent pictures from last night. 183 00:07:05,939 --> 00:07:07,759 Oh, dear. 184 00:07:07,857 --> 00:07:09,357 Oh my God, I don't remember the stripper joining us 185 00:07:09,456 --> 00:07:11,446 for karaoke. (laughs) 186 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,753 Okay, mate, we were doing shots off the stripper's abs. 187 00:07:15,851 --> 00:07:16,631 - (laughs) Yeah. 188 00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:17,990 I'm just driving. 189 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,669 - No, look, this is the best photo, look. 190 00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:21,027 Straws shaped like willies. 191 00:07:21,126 --> 00:07:22,026 Mad, right? 192 00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:23,335 - Do you get any work done, 193 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,444 or is it just cock straws and carnage? 194 00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:27,462 - Yeah, we did work, but it didn't feel like work, 195 00:07:27,561 --> 00:07:29,621 'cause it was just so much fun. 196 00:07:29,719 --> 00:07:31,859 It was really cool to meet some new people 197 00:07:31,957 --> 00:07:33,417 and then not have to kill them. 198 00:07:33,516 --> 00:07:36,686 (dramatic music) 199 00:07:36,793 --> 00:07:38,793 - Hang on. 200 00:07:39,231 --> 00:07:41,571 Holy shit, that's a hearse. 201 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:43,049 - Wait, is that Methven and son following us? 202 00:07:43,147 --> 00:07:43,967 - Well, Methven's dead, mate. 203 00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:46,447 - So that's and son. 204 00:07:46,545 --> 00:07:47,675 God, he's gonna come get our kidneys. 205 00:07:47,783 --> 00:07:48,963 - Yeah, just calm down. 206 00:07:49,062 --> 00:07:50,322 It's probably just a coincidence. 207 00:07:50,421 --> 00:07:52,421 It's just another undertaker. 208 00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:55,599 - Well, okay, let's just slow down a bit 209 00:07:55,697 --> 00:07:57,557 and see if they overtake. 210 00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:59,665 - I don't think this undertaker is gonna overtake. 211 00:07:59,773 --> 00:08:00,953 He is following us. 212 00:08:01,052 --> 00:08:03,772 (engine rumbling) 213 00:08:05,608 --> 00:08:08,348 ♪ We live in a windswept hell ♪ 214 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,536 ♪ Where dust and death are neighbours ♪ 215 00:08:11,643 --> 00:08:15,423 ♪ We hide in a perfect storm ♪ 216 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:16,860 ♪ Not even God remembers ♪ - What's he doing? 217 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:19,679 (engine revving) 218 00:08:21,075 --> 00:08:24,545 (engine continues revving) 219 00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:28,050 (engine rumbling) 220 00:08:28,149 --> 00:08:29,529 (engine revving) 221 00:08:29,628 --> 00:08:32,188 (upbeat music) 222 00:08:33,185 --> 00:08:34,635 Drive. Drive. 223 00:08:34,744 --> 00:08:36,844 Drive, Fran, Drive. (tires squealing) 224 00:08:36,942 --> 00:08:37,842 Go, go, go. - Yeah, I'm going, 225 00:08:37,941 --> 00:08:39,681 going, going! 226 00:08:39,779 --> 00:08:41,239 He's right behind us. 227 00:08:41,338 --> 00:08:43,338 That is not a respectable speed for a hearse. 228 00:08:44,016 --> 00:08:46,106 No, that is too close. 229 00:08:46,214 --> 00:08:47,514 - He looks kinda upset, 230 00:08:47,613 --> 00:08:48,453 almost like we killed his dad or something. 231 00:08:48,532 --> 00:08:50,752 (upbeat music) Oh God. 232 00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:52,470 (engine revving) 233 00:08:52,568 --> 00:08:54,428 - I'm skipping from 3rd to 5th gears. 234 00:08:54,527 --> 00:08:59,317 ♪ I don't care, care, care if it's old ♪ 235 00:09:00,682 --> 00:09:01,822 ♪ I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind ♪ 236 00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:02,681 ♪ I don't mind, mind ♪ - Bloody hell. 237 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,340 (tires squealing) 238 00:09:05,438 --> 00:09:07,618 ♪ Get away, get away, get away ♪ 239 00:09:07,716 --> 00:09:10,326 ♪ Get away, get away, get away ♪ 240 00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:11,613 - Shit! 241 00:09:11,712 --> 00:09:12,812 Fork, fork! - Fork acknowledged. 242 00:09:12,911 --> 00:09:14,091 Fork acknowledged. 243 00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:15,930 Evasive right. (tires squealing) 244 00:09:16,029 --> 00:09:18,009 ♪ She said ♪ - Ooh, nice turn. 245 00:09:18,107 --> 00:09:20,567 - Yes, off you piss and son. 246 00:09:20,665 --> 00:09:22,655 Off you piss. 247 00:09:23,023 --> 00:09:23,963 - [Jamie] Do you think we lost him? 248 00:09:24,062 --> 00:09:26,062 - [Fran] Looks like it. 249 00:09:26,979 --> 00:09:29,719 - Wow, that adrenaline's really cut through my hangover. 250 00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:30,997 - Do you know what I feel like right now? 251 00:09:31,096 --> 00:09:32,196 Pork jalfrezi. 252 00:09:32,295 --> 00:09:34,285 - Okay, definitely hasn't. 253 00:09:35,172 --> 00:09:37,152 Oh my God, look. 254 00:09:37,251 --> 00:09:39,111 - God, it's him, it's him. 255 00:09:39,209 --> 00:09:40,469 - Go down there, left, left, left. 256 00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:41,868 - Thank you, left hand maneuver. 257 00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:43,967 - No, don't worry. I don't think he saw us. 258 00:09:45,883 --> 00:09:47,883 Okay, he's gone, he's gone. 259 00:09:48,561 --> 00:09:49,821 Dead end. 260 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,140 - [Fran] Yep, dead end acknowledged. 261 00:09:51,239 --> 00:09:52,339 - [Jamie] Yeah, go in here, go in here. 262 00:09:52,438 --> 00:09:53,258 Okay, yeah, that's great. 263 00:09:53,357 --> 00:09:56,197 (gravel crunching) 264 00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:02,451 (tense music) 265 00:10:02,549 --> 00:10:04,329 - Hang on, hang on, he's here. 266 00:10:04,428 --> 00:10:06,868 (tense music) 267 00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:10,883 (engine rumbling) 268 00:10:10,982 --> 00:10:12,482 - Okay, go, go, go, go, go. 269 00:10:12,581 --> 00:10:13,681 - Where? 270 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,680 - Oh, shit, I'm the driver. 271 00:10:14,779 --> 00:10:15,679 (engine revving) 272 00:10:15,778 --> 00:10:16,758 Pop it in reverse. Reversing. 273 00:10:16,857 --> 00:10:18,157 (engine rumbling) 274 00:10:18,256 --> 00:10:21,266 (tire popping) 275 00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:26,333 Bollocks. 276 00:10:27,648 --> 00:10:28,548 (gravel crunching) (door banging) 277 00:10:28,647 --> 00:10:29,247 Ugh. - Let's get the spare. 278 00:10:29,326 --> 00:10:29,946 - Okay. - Oh. 279 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,256 (tense music) 280 00:10:32,364 --> 00:10:34,364 - All right, mate. 281 00:10:35,082 --> 00:10:38,462 - Okay. (tense music) 282 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,579 (gunshots popping) 283 00:10:40,677 --> 00:10:41,817 Nick it, Jamie. 284 00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:43,406 (tires squealing) Get out! 285 00:10:43,514 --> 00:10:47,374 (dramatic banging) (gun cocking) 286 00:10:47,471 --> 00:10:51,891 (dramatic banging) (gun cocking) 287 00:10:51,987 --> 00:10:53,207 (birds chirping) 288 00:10:53,306 --> 00:10:54,286 - Should we be going back to the van? 289 00:10:54,385 --> 00:10:55,835 What if he's still there? 290 00:10:55,944 --> 00:10:57,164 - Well, have you got a better idea? 291 00:10:57,263 --> 00:10:59,403 We're in the middle of nowhere. 292 00:10:59,501 --> 00:11:00,801 Oh, balls, this is dead. 293 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,400 Can I borrow yours? 294 00:11:02,498 --> 00:11:03,918 - No, just, I've gotta reply to this before it dies. 295 00:11:04,017 --> 00:11:06,017 - Jamie. 296 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:09,273 Jamie. 297 00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:11,372 - Yeah, just sending it. 298 00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:14,610 - Jamie. - Yeah. 299 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,735 (gun cocking) 300 00:11:20,843 --> 00:11:22,303 (birds chirping) 301 00:11:22,401 --> 00:11:25,861 (gravel crunching) 302 00:11:25,958 --> 00:11:27,378 Wait. He's still there. 303 00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:28,537 (tense music) 304 00:11:28,636 --> 00:11:29,696 Oh, shit. 305 00:11:29,795 --> 00:11:31,525 Right, okay. 306 00:11:31,634 --> 00:11:34,074 (tense music) 307 00:11:46,341 --> 00:11:49,801 (birds chirping) 308 00:11:49,898 --> 00:11:50,878 - Where is he? 309 00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,557 - I don't know. 310 00:11:52,656 --> 00:11:53,536 Obviously, he's left his keys, so he can't be far. 311 00:11:53,615 --> 00:11:55,745 He's obviously looking for us. 312 00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:56,873 (birds chirping) 313 00:11:56,972 --> 00:11:58,432 Get in. - What? 314 00:11:58,531 --> 00:11:59,831 - Get in the hearse, quick. 315 00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:02,370 (upbeat music) 316 00:12:03,566 --> 00:12:04,946 (engine revving) 317 00:12:05,045 --> 00:12:07,515 (upbeat music) 318 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:15,479 (light rock music) 319 00:12:17,754 --> 00:12:18,934 - You're so good at this, Fran. 320 00:12:19,033 --> 00:12:21,133 I mean, you're really made for this job. 321 00:12:21,232 --> 00:12:23,332 - Yeah, thanks, mate. 322 00:12:23,430 --> 00:12:24,770 I think we make a good team. 323 00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:26,868 - Mm. 324 00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:28,926 - Can you just not? 325 00:12:29,025 --> 00:12:30,995 I'm gonna confiscate that, all right? 326 00:12:31,103 --> 00:12:32,643 What could be so important that she needs 327 00:12:32,742 --> 00:12:34,402 to be in contact with you every second of the day? 328 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,040 - Well, actually, it is quite important 329 00:12:37,138 --> 00:12:39,578 because Kat's offered me a job. 330 00:12:42,853 --> 00:12:44,113 - Doing what? 331 00:12:44,212 --> 00:12:47,112 - Well, she wants me to be her right hand woman. 332 00:12:47,209 --> 00:12:48,429 - Right hand woman? 333 00:12:48,528 --> 00:12:50,148 I mean, that's not a job title, is it? 334 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,107 That's not something you can put on a CV. 335 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,895 I mean, right hand woman. 336 00:12:54,004 --> 00:12:55,504 It's not really a thing, is it, Jamie? 337 00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:57,862 - Well, it is a thing, and I'm going to take it, 338 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,760 and I'm sorry you feel that way. 339 00:13:02,197 --> 00:13:04,097 - What way? 340 00:13:04,195 --> 00:13:05,165 I'm not sure about the logistics 341 00:13:05,274 --> 00:13:06,494 of this thing, to be honest. 342 00:13:06,593 --> 00:13:08,613 I mean, how is being Kat's right hand woman 343 00:13:08,711 --> 00:13:09,971 gonna fit with everything we've got on? 344 00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:11,810 I mean, we've got Japan and I mean, 345 00:13:11,909 --> 00:13:13,169 you've got a lot of commitments. 346 00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:15,287 - Well, Kat wants me to start straightaway, so. 347 00:13:15,386 --> 00:13:17,156 - I don't think you've thought this through. 348 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,384 I mean, unless it's something you can do remotely, 349 00:13:18,463 --> 00:13:19,683 but the time difference, it's- 350 00:13:19,782 --> 00:13:22,002 - No, Fran, the job with Kat would be 351 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,320 instead of going to Japan with you. 352 00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:26,418 (tires squealing) - Whoa, hold on. 353 00:13:27,655 --> 00:13:28,545 What? 354 00:13:28,654 --> 00:13:30,674 - I'm not coming to Japan. 355 00:13:30,773 --> 00:13:32,313 And I'm sorry you feel that way. 356 00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:34,831 - Will you stop saying, "And I'm sorry you feel that way"? 357 00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:36,989 It's not even a real apology, apart from everything else. 358 00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:38,787 - You don't really need me anyway. 359 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,956 I'm sure Mr. V would just find a replacement. 360 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:45,102 - Just a temporary break, though, eh? 361 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,540 - Kat said I should follow my bliss. 362 00:13:47,638 --> 00:13:48,818 - Follow your bliss? - Yes. 363 00:13:48,917 --> 00:13:51,297 - You sound like a shit scatter cushion. 364 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,165 I'm sorry, Kat's pushed you into this. 365 00:13:53,273 --> 00:13:55,253 I was gonna hold my tongue, keep my peace, 366 00:13:55,352 --> 00:13:56,972 but no, she's brainwashing you. 367 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,050 She's a psycho and she's trying to steal you away from me. 368 00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:01,368 - What are you talking about? 369 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,766 She's actually a really good friend. 370 00:14:02,865 --> 00:14:04,035 - Something's going on. 371 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,724 I mean, why else would you let somebody 372 00:14:05,823 --> 00:14:08,123 live in your place rent-free or make them packed lunches 373 00:14:08,221 --> 00:14:10,241 with wee, little notes and sayings 374 00:14:10,339 --> 00:14:11,839 and give you pocket money? 375 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,558 - It's not pocket money. It's expenses. 376 00:14:13,656 --> 00:14:15,906 - No, you are her golden retriever. 377 00:14:16,014 --> 00:14:17,634 Mm-hmm. 378 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:18,813 She's made you beholden to her so that you have to do 379 00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,192 everything she wants. 380 00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:21,831 Oh God, why else would you have got the job? 381 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,869 - Because she likes me, because I'm useful to her. 382 00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:25,827 I know it's hard for you to conceive 383 00:14:25,926 --> 00:14:27,336 that I might be able to do something 384 00:14:27,444 --> 00:14:29,104 that you haven't instructed me to do. 385 00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:31,623 - I haven't been instructing you, Jamie. 386 00:14:31,721 --> 00:14:33,721 I've been helping you. 387 00:14:34,119 --> 00:14:35,459 And to be honest, most of the time, 388 00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:37,138 you're an active hindrance. 389 00:14:37,236 --> 00:14:38,816 - Wow. 390 00:14:38,915 --> 00:14:40,485 Kat said you'd react like that. 391 00:14:40,593 --> 00:14:41,453 - Oh, Kat's poison. 392 00:14:41,552 --> 00:14:43,092 She's just got in your ears. 393 00:14:43,191 --> 00:14:45,211 Just when we finally got to do what you wanted to do. 394 00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,329 - No, what you wanted to do. 395 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,568 Maybe I want something different. 396 00:14:48,666 --> 00:14:49,886 (eerie music) 397 00:14:49,985 --> 00:14:51,875 Maybe I want to not do the same job 398 00:14:51,984 --> 00:14:54,164 that I've been doing for, well, ever. 399 00:14:54,262 --> 00:14:55,522 Maybe I want to explore things. 400 00:14:55,621 --> 00:14:58,241 Maybe I want to expand my horizons. 401 00:14:58,338 --> 00:15:00,478 - We're going to the Land of the Rising Sun, Jamie. 402 00:15:00,576 --> 00:15:02,516 How much more horizons do you want? 403 00:15:02,615 --> 00:15:03,825 (liquid splashing) We were going up 404 00:15:03,934 --> 00:15:06,234 in the world, we were literally going far. 405 00:15:06,331 --> 00:15:07,791 Nailing assassinhood. 406 00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:10,230 (Jamie and Fran yelling) 407 00:15:10,328 --> 00:15:14,108 (sheep bleating) (muffled yelling) 408 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,335 (bird cawing) 409 00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:21,342 (panting) Jamie. 410 00:15:21,439 --> 00:15:22,819 - Is this heaven? - I think, 411 00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:24,257 traditionally, heaven's a lot brighter 412 00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:25,816 and less cramped than this, mate. 413 00:15:25,915 --> 00:15:27,445 - [Jamie] Can I have my phone back, 414 00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,413 or is it still confiscated? - It's in my back pocket. 415 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:30,632 Oh, for heaven's sake, no, that's my front bottom. 416 00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:32,091 That's, yep, oh- - Oh, yep. 417 00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:33,410 - [Fran] Just a bit pinchy. Hang on, just- 418 00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:35,508 - Got it. Got it, got it. 419 00:15:36,786 --> 00:15:39,996 Oh, 17 messages. 420 00:15:40,103 --> 00:15:41,683 Well, I hope Kat doesn't think I'm ignoring her. 421 00:15:41,781 --> 00:15:43,781 - Just forget Kat. Pass us the phone. 422 00:15:48,016 --> 00:15:50,786 Yep, yeah, okay. 423 00:15:50,894 --> 00:15:54,334 Yep, that's what I expected. 424 00:15:55,770 --> 00:15:56,630 - I think we're in a coffin. 425 00:15:56,729 --> 00:15:57,869 - We're in a coffin, yeah, yeah. 426 00:15:57,968 --> 00:16:00,428 And I'm claustrophobic, so maybe it'll be 427 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,536 the panic attack for me, please. 428 00:16:02,644 --> 00:16:03,604 - Let's just try and push that up, right, this- 429 00:16:03,683 --> 00:16:06,203 (Fran yelling) 430 00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:11,939 (shovel clanging) (phone beeping) 431 00:16:12,036 --> 00:16:13,606 Oh, my phone's just died, too. 432 00:16:13,714 --> 00:16:15,374 - [Fran] If you hadn't spent the whole time texting Kat, 433 00:16:15,473 --> 00:16:16,693 trying to stab your best mate in the back, 434 00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:18,292 then we wouldn't be about to perish. 435 00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:20,390 - Wait, I've got an idea. 436 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,247 Yay. 437 00:16:23,346 --> 00:16:24,926 - Ooh, great. 438 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,835 I can use the cock torch to check for cracks and gaps. 439 00:16:28,941 --> 00:16:31,661 Mm-hmm, yes. 440 00:16:33,098 --> 00:16:35,038 Yes, we are going to die. 441 00:16:35,136 --> 00:16:36,916 - Okay, you're not gonna like it, 442 00:16:37,015 --> 00:16:39,985 but I have just farted. 443 00:16:40,092 --> 00:16:42,492 - [Fran] Oh, God, burning my nostrils. 444 00:16:44,208 --> 00:16:47,108 - I'm really sorry, okay, that you feel so hurt about Japan. 445 00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:50,696 It's just that Kat thinks I need to really fully realise my- 446 00:16:50,803 --> 00:16:54,063 - I don't, I really don't wanna die talking about Kat, 447 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,980 thanks, or as it goes, holding a cock torch. 448 00:16:57,078 --> 00:16:59,638 - Yeah, but I don't want us to go out on a barmy. 449 00:17:02,633 --> 00:17:04,913 (both yell) 450 00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,730 (both grunting) 451 00:17:07,828 --> 00:17:10,568 I'm really sorry for being actively a hindrance. 452 00:17:10,666 --> 00:17:11,806 - No, I'm sorry. 453 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,475 You're not actively a hindrance. 454 00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:16,084 I just use criticism as a mean of just emotional expression. 455 00:17:16,181 --> 00:17:18,321 I'm very repressed. 456 00:17:18,419 --> 00:17:19,159 I love you. 457 00:17:19,259 --> 00:17:20,199 - I love you too. 458 00:17:20,298 --> 00:17:21,678 Should we kiss, then? 459 00:17:21,777 --> 00:17:23,397 - What? 460 00:17:23,495 --> 00:17:24,945 - I don't know, I've just we've never done before. 461 00:17:25,054 --> 00:17:27,154 - Why do you have to make everything so weird? 462 00:17:27,252 --> 00:17:29,852 (dirt thumping) 463 00:17:32,288 --> 00:17:34,308 - [Jamie] Right, we've lost the cock torch. 464 00:17:34,406 --> 00:17:35,746 - [Fran] Listen to me, I'm so sorry I wasn't there 465 00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:37,735 for you when you had to live in a van. 466 00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:39,343 - [Jamie] It was actually quite comfortable. 467 00:17:39,442 --> 00:17:41,502 (electronic whirring) 468 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,600 What's he doing? 469 00:17:44,238 --> 00:17:46,618 (engine rumbling) - What's going on? 470 00:17:46,715 --> 00:17:47,575 - [Jamie] I don't know. 471 00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:48,525 It sounds like he's leaving. 472 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:49,494 Let's push the lid again. 473 00:17:49,593 --> 00:17:50,933 - [Both] One, two, three. 474 00:17:51,032 --> 00:17:52,372 - What the... 475 00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:54,251 - Where the hell is he? 476 00:17:54,349 --> 00:17:56,349 - Let's not wait to find out. 477 00:17:58,825 --> 00:18:00,395 (gravel crunching) 478 00:18:00,504 --> 00:18:02,164 We need to move. - Yep. 479 00:18:02,262 --> 00:18:03,802 (gravel crunching) 480 00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:05,901 - Something's not right. 481 00:18:08,537 --> 00:18:10,637 - Wait, is that? 482 00:18:10,735 --> 00:18:13,825 (chuckling) Kat. 483 00:18:13,932 --> 00:18:16,072 - Oh my God. 484 00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:17,670 What the hell are you doing here? 485 00:18:17,769 --> 00:18:19,769 - We got lost. 486 00:18:20,407 --> 00:18:21,667 What are you doing here? 487 00:18:21,766 --> 00:18:22,906 How did you find us? 488 00:18:23,005 --> 00:18:24,995 - Find My Friends. 489 00:18:25,523 --> 00:18:27,583 I freaked out when you stopped replying to my texts. 490 00:18:27,681 --> 00:18:28,981 I was so worried. 491 00:18:29,079 --> 00:18:31,659 Sorry, you must think I'm mad. 492 00:18:31,757 --> 00:18:34,777 I know you said the training course would be intense, 493 00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:38,465 but I just thought you might be in serious trouble or. 494 00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:41,690 Why are you walking around in the middle of nowhere? 495 00:18:41,789 --> 00:18:44,049 - Oh, just a really intensive hardcore 496 00:18:44,147 --> 00:18:46,047 SAS type training course, yes. 497 00:18:46,145 --> 00:18:47,375 You know, dump you in the middle of the wilderness 498 00:18:47,464 --> 00:18:48,724 and find your way back to civilization, 499 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:49,523 that kind of thing. 500 00:18:49,622 --> 00:18:50,762 - Hmm. 501 00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:52,401 - Not really suitable for civilians. 502 00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,100 - (chuckles) Well, I'm just glad you're okay. 503 00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:58,416 (sighs) I was so worried. 504 00:19:00,253 --> 00:19:01,473 Let's get you out of here. 505 00:19:01,572 --> 00:19:03,572 - Oh. 506 00:19:04,569 --> 00:19:05,909 - Careful. 507 00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:07,828 My car's this way. 508 00:19:07,927 --> 00:19:09,107 You looking for something? 509 00:19:09,205 --> 00:19:11,095 - Oh, yeah, just our teammates. 510 00:19:11,204 --> 00:19:12,464 This was the rendezvous point, 511 00:19:12,563 --> 00:19:14,543 but I think we've beaten them to it. 512 00:19:14,641 --> 00:19:18,161 You haven't seen a very long, black car, have you? 513 00:19:19,876 --> 00:19:21,976 - I actually did see a car screech off when I got here. 514 00:19:22,075 --> 00:19:22,845 Maybe that was them. 515 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,654 - Oh, they pranked us. 516 00:19:24,752 --> 00:19:25,532 Didn't even wait. 517 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,012 Classic them. - Ah. 518 00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,530 (Kat and Jamie laugh) 519 00:19:29,628 --> 00:19:31,628 Ah. 520 00:19:32,106 --> 00:19:35,636 (gravel crunching) 521 00:19:35,743 --> 00:19:37,803 - What? 522 00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:38,901 You don't find this My Find a Friend thing 523 00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:39,720 a bit odd, do you? 524 00:19:39,819 --> 00:19:40,719 - What do you mean? 525 00:19:40,819 --> 00:19:41,919 - It's creepy. 526 00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:43,558 She's tracking your every move. 527 00:19:43,656 --> 00:19:45,516 - Mate, it's an app. 528 00:19:45,615 --> 00:19:48,245 Privacy's dead, we've all seen Jeff Bezos' balls. 529 00:19:49,891 --> 00:19:51,891 - I've not seen his balls. 530 00:19:53,648 --> 00:19:57,108 Listen, um, congratulations on your new colleague. 531 00:19:57,205 --> 00:19:58,415 Jamie told me the exciting news. 532 00:19:58,524 --> 00:19:59,824 - Ah, thanks. 533 00:19:59,922 --> 00:20:02,102 Guess you'll have to take backseat. 534 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,201 - What? - In the car. 535 00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:06,838 - Oh, yeah. 536 00:20:10,154 --> 00:20:13,234 (electronic whirring) 537 00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:17,350 (leather creaking) 538 00:20:19,106 --> 00:20:20,686 (door banging) 539 00:20:20,785 --> 00:20:21,995 - Good job. 540 00:20:22,104 --> 00:20:24,104 I'm proud of you. 541 00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,620 - Kat, are these? 542 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,598 - Oh (laughs) gosh, you found the photos. 543 00:20:31,695 --> 00:20:33,785 Yeah, crazy story. 544 00:20:33,894 --> 00:20:36,354 I was collecting a load of old yearbook pics. 545 00:20:36,451 --> 00:20:38,191 The printer screwed up by printing hundreds 546 00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:39,750 of that one photo. 547 00:20:39,849 --> 00:20:41,189 I've been meaning to throw them out. 548 00:20:41,287 --> 00:20:43,287 - That is so funny. - (laughs) Yes. 549 00:20:44,764 --> 00:20:46,944 So funny. 550 00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:49,142 - Road trip, here we come. 551 00:20:49,241 --> 00:20:50,701 (engine revving) - Hang on. 552 00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:51,599 How come you're not wearing your scarf anymore? 553 00:20:51,679 --> 00:20:52,619 - Oh, silly me. 554 00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,338 I must've left it at home. 555 00:20:54,436 --> 00:20:59,266 (engine rumbling) (upbeat music) 556 00:21:10,383 --> 00:21:14,243 ♪ One way, or another, I'm gonna find ya ♪ 557 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:16,319 ♪ I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya ♪ 558 00:21:16,418 --> 00:21:19,918 ♪ One way, or another, I'm gonna win ya ♪ 559 00:21:20,015 --> 00:21:22,305 ♪ I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya ♪ 560 00:21:22,412 --> 00:21:25,872 ♪ One way, or another, I'm gonna see ya ♪ 561 00:21:25,969 --> 00:21:28,189 ♪ I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya ♪ 562 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,547 ♪ One day, maybe next week ♪ 563 00:21:30,645 --> 00:21:34,055 ♪ I'm gonna meet ya, I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya ♪ 564 00:21:34,163 --> 00:21:39,043 ♪ I will drive past your house ♪